On a Pale Horse (Umamusume/Youjo Senki)

[The Uninspired]

The issue is that 110% is what the Golden Generation would consider "performing at your best", it's expected, because they all have the ability to tap into that magic extra 10% when serious. Shiro being stuck at only 100%, unable to tap into that extra 10%, is a sign that she isn't yearning to win in the same way that other Uma do.

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I do believe that is the entire point of the story.

 

[Stracio]

Yeah, like we see some people getting weird ideas already, if she gets even a mixed crown the shape of japanese racing would change forever.

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Ah yes, the Oka Sho, Japanese Derby/Oaks, Kikuka Sho Mixed Triple Crown. The true test of an Uma's capability for Mile, Medium, and Long races.

 

[NerdLord]

I find it amusing that while Shiro in this lifetime has grown out of the "second place is 1st loser" from her 1st life her lack of it has now become an almost central theme of both the story and a repeatedly confusing point for some readers. For others second place is presented as a devastating upset of almost complete victory, for Shiro its just a sign of the fact that she does need to keep working on her top speed, while still making her a far amount of money (which as a reminder unlike others is her reason to run, to help payback her "debt" to her family for giving her in a very literal sense the best life they have had in 3 lifetimes)

 

[Pinklestia]

I do believe that is the entire point of the story.

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Also entering the Zone is risky outside shorter races as it drains stamina like crazy.

 

[Winged One]

drains stamina like crazy.

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*unhinged Tanya laughter*

 

[Dopplerdee]

I find it amusing that while Shiro in this lifetime has grown out of the "second place is 1st loser" from her 1st life her lack of it has now become an almost central theme of both the story and a repeatedly confusing point for some readers. For others second place is presented as a devastating upset of almost complete victory, for Shiro its just a sign of the fact that she does need to keep working on her top speed, while still making her a far amount of money (which as a reminder unlike others is her reason to run, to help payback her "debt" to her family for giving her in a very literal sense the best life they have had in 3 lifetimes)

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Yep.
For Shiro she understands that you still get points for placing second, and you also still get prize money.
Being the best isn't the point for her yet, if ever, and that's ok. It's a perspective that took her three lives and like... 80 years, but still.

 

[Pinklestia]

Yep.
For Shiro she understands that you still get points for placing second, and you also still get prize money.
Being the best isn't the point for her yet, if ever, and that's ok. It's a perspective that took her three lives and like... 80 years, but still.

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And she is not the only Uma that's family and money focused although it tends to be rare.

For Shiro, pushing herself too hard means she races less due to injury or sickness and if she races less that means less money.

Also as she gets older she will be allowed in longer races and that's what she is good at, so she doesn't mind that much losing in shorter races.

 

[Lyrista]

It's basically for her a "As long as I place high enough to qualify for the next races, then it's objective achieved."

 

[Stracio]

It's basically for her a "As long as I place high enough to qualify for the next races, then it's objective achieved."

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On the flipside, if she ever thinks she's about to fail her objective...

At the very least, it'll definitely be quite the race.

 

[eager slacker]

Basically everyone should be safe so long as she's in the top three. Her being in fourth place is when people will panic. First her but it won't look like that from the outside.

 

[Otro usuario mas]

What a great story I've found! Although changing the events from the anime (which is the one I know best) took me by surprise, it's done very well and also adds originality.

 

[Chrisleech]

Caligula was a visionary, and the Senators slandering him were bigots against umas in this alt timeline.

 

[Water Sorcerer]

Nero was a visionary, and the Senators slandering him were bigots against umas in this alt timeline.

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Nero, defender of equal rights between men and Umas. (As a proper Roman, regular women would get nothing)

 

[TheSmallSauce]

Someone better make a bunch of omakes in lunaticmonster's style story. Or multiple such stories in one omake, such as Shirogane Orzel being a local celebrity because she's helping a restaurant delivering orders before being considered for racing by a professional horse trainer.

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■ Job Experience

Supposedly Shirogane Orezeru had a job before her long career in staked racing...

She was a delivery horse!

That's right, before she was scouted, she was a delivery horse in Fujisawa.

It's said that she never missed a delivery in 3 years

​

Spoiler: First Draft

■ Fearsome Beast Pt.1

During her active years, Shirogane had a reputation for intimidating other horses

In her junior year, there were no less than 9 starting gate incidents.

According to a stablehand that took care of her,

There was very good reason for this intimidating aura

​

■ Fearsome Beast Pt. 2

"One night we heard the horses freaking out,

so we went to check on them...

...and we found a bear inside the enclosure.

It was dead on the ground with its skull caved in, and Shirogane was just standing next to it like nothing happened."

​

An illustrated comic in lunaticmonster's style is a lot of work to pull off... Maybe in a couple weeks we'll see.

 

[stadenwick]

It's basically for her a "As long as I place high enough to qualify for the next races, then it's objective achieved."

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Yeah, imho I don't think Shiro has grown out of the "second place is 1st loser" mentality (she said "There's nothing to fear other than the shame of failure.") and more that she consistently think:

"I'm a rookie who mostly in this for the paycheck. If I win, the opponent are weak (because they're not Tracen probably). If I lose, that's expected. As long I'm still succeeding my primary task of getting cash prize it's still good."

Which isn't exactly celebrating second place as the second winner.

 

[macdjord]

Let me explain: if Shiro wins everything, it will become the goal every Uma aspires to. Yet, by attempting this without fully grasping what makes Shirogane tick—both mentally and physically—the new norm would shift toward shorter but more epic careers

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Meanwhile, Shirogane, now age 43, is still chugging along, doing a race every other week.

"Retire? Why would I do that? As long as I take bronze one race in four, I'm covering my costs; one in two or better and I'm making more money per hour than from my accountancy work. My current rate is still 82% - effectively 91%, accounting for the larger prizes from the occasional silver - so I have no incentive to retire. Besides, it's good exercise."

 

[FlyingOctopus]

from my accountancy work.

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I think she's going to inherit the restaurant business though.

 

[BlueJ$$spud]

Don't know if it's planned but I do kinda hope that we see Shirogane do more foreign long distance races compared to her compatriots. Primary because she would probably handles airplanes travel the best and would likely be motivated to participate in those events if they offered good cash prizes.

 

[WrandmWaffles]

I kinda want her to visit Poland and just be confused because the local Uma are so much slower than her.

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The Polish 'race horse breed' umas would not be too different than the ones in Japan, but people in Poland would be much quicker to recognize that Shirogane is from a different lineage, and go "Damn, that's a really fast destrier."

Given polish history and that polish umas would be primary target for extermination (alongside politicians, officers, doctors etc) i wouldn't be surprised if Poland don't have that many umas

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Yeah, there was very sharp drop in the Polish uma population through the war and it remained quite low during the Soviet era, though it has recently made more of a resurgence after the fall of the Iron Curtain, mostly from umas born of two human parents, but also from people moving back to Poland, including some umas who had been kidnapped to Germany during WW2 and had previously stayed on the western side of Germany since that wasn't under Soviet occupation. It certainly hasn't recovered to pre-war levels though, so even foreign umas of Polish descent would be fairly popular in Poland if they become well known enough.

which now that I think about it is funny because most of the playable Golden Gen are Pace/Late except for poor Sky who's a Front/Pace. She's gonna have tank most of Shirogane's intimidation for her entire career as the only Front Runner of the Golden Generation

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Well, technically, now there are two front runners, since Shirogane is usually one. But yeah, Sky is really not looking forwards to racing against Shirogane.

That's probably why she was the one who wanted to watch Shirogane run somebody else down during her debut.

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"You must suffer as I have!"
"...Actually, it's kinda funny to watch it happen to other people."

To be fair, it kinda make sense since it put her horsey brain on habitual comfort (weight being familiar hassle) and help to physically force her high stamina, mid speed body to warm up and hit average top speed quicker.

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It helps her lock in harder, while wearing a tracksuit doesn't really trigger her "it's go time" sense.

the thing about Shirogane is that she would lose against the rest of the Golden Gen most of the time...IF they perform at their best.

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1v1 in ideal conditions, Shirogane will lose to any other member of her class most of the time, even Tsurumaru Tsuyoshi. The rub is that Shirogane's performance is decreased far less in suboptimal conditions in comparison, and there are even certain circumstances where she would perform better than normal. Aside from her stamina and durability, Shirogane is also the best among her class at navigating traffic, which is also part of the reason she seems to perform unusually well at G1 races, as those tend to have more runners in total.

Quick! Someone shoot her so she can do a race without even acknowledging the injury, she would be unstoppable!

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If someone shot her she would immediately try to chase them down and kill them, completely forgetting about the race, something she'd chide herself later for.

She's about to not make the podium! All that money… I refuse to lose it! Prepare for battle!!!

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"I'm just here for the money."
Runs all 6 Classic Year Exclusives
"What? They pay the most money."

This gives me the funny idea that Umas conversely get stronger the more dilluted their Uma blood is like Shiro, since then they're more likely to inherit things like a human's utterly absurd stamina regeneration (for animals of our size), or injury shock resistance.

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There probably is some influence there, like generally slower and weaker, but typically less skittish and generally more intelligent.

I'm imagining a scene where the ranch is on break so it's been a few days of no training, or if it's been too long since there's been a race, so torena-san wakes up to find Shiro staring at him through his bedroom window. After a panicked review of the security camera footage they find that Shiro woke up, did some up upset pacing, then opened her own stall by reaching around, jumped over the fence enclosure, waited for a green light to cross the street?!?! to get to the trainer housing, and then walked past a dozing security guard to arrive at torena-san's room.

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"You would not believe how determined this horse was to make money. She didn't care about vacation time, and she would get mad any time we mentioned retirement. She only calmed down once some of us retired."

The reason I'd like to see Shirogane win that classic "sextet" is the way it would transform the racing world from that point on.

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Even attempting it at all and making a decent show of it would be a pretty big deal. Since all umas are female, I'm kinda going with that the Tiara circuit is for umas who want to focus more on the idol part of the business, while the Crown circuit is for the more pure competitors. But trying for both and getting fairly close would create the idea of a super idol, basically, who could do both. Someone like Almond Eye or Gentildonna might have a shot at it, in theory.

Incitatus actually being a consul

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Later viewed as one of the more sensible things Caligula did.

Ah yes, the Oka Sho, Japanese Derby/Oaks, Kikuka Sho Mixed Triple Crown. The true test of an Uma's capability for Mile, Medium, and Long races.

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"Classic Hat Trick" Or something. (Still don't really get why three goals is a hat trick)

What a great story I've found! Although changing the events from the anime (which is the one I know best) took me by surprise, it's done very well and also adds originality.

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Good to hear you liked it! I'm trying to have this fic follow the irl timeline more closely, though obviously Shirogane will cause some things to change. This also means a lot more research into racing history for me. Lmao.

An illustrated comic in lunaticmonster's style is a lot of work to pull off... Maybe in a couple weeks we'll see.

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Very nice!

Part 1: "Oh, so she's a bit like Ines Fujin!"
Part 2: "Oh, so a bit of Dream Journey murder pony?"
Part 3: "...What the fuck?"

Don't know if it's planned but I do kinda hope that we see Shirogane do more foreign long distance races compared to her compatriots. Primary because she would probably handles airplanes travel the best and would likely be motivated to participate in those events if they offered good cash prizes.

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While Japan is among the countries with the biggest prize pools, she could probably be convinced to run internationally if some of her friends were doing it to. It might even be an idea by the Japanese Trainer Association or something, since they've had runners struggle previously since they weren't as used to those rules being rougher.

"You know...we have a few American trainees, and they are pretty ok which some bumping..."
"There's also the Polish murder pony."
"Yeah..."
"So...what if we took one of our really fast runners, and run them together with the tougher ones?"

Later, in France:
"Did the Japs bring the Yakuza kids or something?"
"I'm pretty sure that one is Spanish."
"Even worse!"

 

[Zyndium]

If any Uma tried rough housing with Shirogane, they would instantly be parried or stop dead on the tracks by a murder pony death glare.

 

[Chronometry]

"Classic Hat Trick" Or something. (Still don't really get why three goals is a hat trick)

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In 1858, cricketer H. H. Stephenson scored three wickets in consecutive deliveries. As was custom at the time for impressive sporting feats, the fans held a collection to buy him a new hat. Hence the term, hat-trick.

 

[FluffyVoid]

If any Uma tried rough housing with Shirogane, they would instantly be parried or stop dead on the tracks by a murder pony death glare.

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At least Shiro doesn't have to worry about any Umas being into getting death glared by her.

 

[Water Sorcerer]

Classic Hat Trick" Or something. (Still don't really get why three goals is a hat trick)

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T:"Classic Hat Trick, Shiro! Good job!"

Pink Horse:"But Shiro doesn't wear a hat, Torena!"

Then three hours of Torena explaining to the Umas soccer and cricket. Then the absolute disaster that it would be girls with super strength playing cricket. (No window is safe)

 

[Dissimilate]

Yeah, there was very sharp drop in the Polish uma population through the war and it remained quite low during the Soviet era, though it has recently made more of a resurgence after the fall of the Iron Curtain, mostly from umas born of two human parents, but also from people moving back to Poland, including some umas who had been kidnapped to Germany during WW2 and had previously stayed on the western side of Germany since that wasn't under Soviet occupation. It certainly hasn't recovered to pre-war levels though, so even foreign umas of Polish descent would be fairly popular in Poland if they become well known enough.

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Does this mean that if the Polish government learned of Shiroganes existence and uma bloodline, there would be a possibility of housing/living/family subsidies in order to preserve one of the dwindling Polish uma producing families?

 

[Jubjub3000]

If someone shot her she would immediately try to chase them down and kill them, completely forgetting about the race, something she'd chide herself later for

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Reminds me of stories of guys running into gunfire, surviving and beating the shit out of the guy with the gun and walking away.

 

[Xenoxn]

Someone like Almond Eye or Gentildonna might have a shot at it, in theory.

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Well, I dunno about Almond Eye since she has F-Rank long aptitude, but Gentildonna can definitely do it.

 

[Winged One]

F-Rank long aptitude

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You can fix that with a lot of horse yuri.

 

[Dopplerdee]

The Polish 'race horse breed' umas would not be too different than the ones in Japan, but people in Poland would be much quicker to recognize that Shirogane is from a different lineage, and go "Damn, that's a really fast destrier."

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Huh, I wonder if people will try to figure out why Shiro is so different and track it back to poland, and then get confused.

 

[Bluefuckingtired]

Tanya runs faster wearing a military uniform because it's Tanya. Her speed is directly proportional to the sum of how badass and terrifying she is at any given moment.

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Quick! Someone shoot her so she can do a race without even acknowledging the injury, she would be unstoppable!

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If someone shot her she would immediately try to chase them down and kill them, completely forgetting about the race, something she'd chide herself later for.

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I need an omake where someone trys shooting an uma, and while all the others panic and run, Shirogane draws her saber and CHARGES putting the fear of God into the stupid bastard that tried to hurt her friends

 

[demonichero9]

I think she's going to inherit the restaurant business though.

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I bet she could do all 3