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I'll be posting the 'rough' draft here, then Stub it after it's finished, leaving the first few chapters as an 'teaser', then, if I write a sequel, do it again. It's standard practice for Original Fiction, as publishers don't like having what they're asking you to buy up for free elsewhere...
Kyle very much would be the Hero of another story, and he's definitely the Hero of his own story, but this is not that story, and we don't have his PoV to see his justifications.
Chapter Four: All Aboard!
For a moment, no one moved, just staring at the three people who’d come out of nowhere, and killed the Alpha like it was nothing, Sam finally asking, “…what?”
The short man hesitated, smile fading, “Oh, I be sure that’d work.”
Behind him, the armored woman sighed...
Chapter Three: Jumping At Shadows
Dylan stared at the head for only a moment longer, dragging his eyes off it to the monsters that lurked among the trees nearby, almost out of sight, black against black, the light of the glowing crystal at his own back not reaching that far.
“Bartholomew,”...
The one that really made me roll my eyes was 'he made Pyrrha a slut who sleeps around a ton', when early on it was explicitly established to be 'she had a single fling, once, with another gladiator, and it didn't work out, which is why she wants romance, but isn't a virgin'. Like, there's an...
Let me check.
Oh, it's a dozen people I don't care about all circle-jerking about how terrible I am, lying about me and my stories where they think I won't see, and going the 'how dare you try and be moral, don't you know everyone's a terrible person!' route.
Oh, and of course my 'butchering...
Ah, but to do so would be to give them the chance to counter her moves, to say no, to buck her control. It's actually a rather common failing, where those who learn to manipulate their opponents then turn those same skills on their family (with any friends they might have long having left...
I am indeed cross-posting here and RR.
As for character bloat, well, we're already down one, and characters will get developed, though this is planned book 1 of a series, not a standalone novel. There is a decent sized cast, but there's a definite main character, and unlike AB I have a much...
Chapter Two:
Into The Woods
Dylan came to with a groan, still in his chair, a cool wind on his face helping him to wake up, the smell of greenery thick in the air, along with just a hint of metallic ozone, like from a lightning strike, even though it didn't feel humid at all.
"Anyone got...
Shattered Bastions
Book 1: First Steps
Chapter One: Graduation
Dylan's life was coming to an end.
As the sun streamed in through the classroom window, the June heat was barely held at bay by the school's aging air conditioning, which gave the building a distinctive wet, cloying, weirdly...