Ar'KendWorm (Worm LitRPG SI)

=I can't believe I let you talk me into this.= Taylor whines into my brain as we blip into the North End, becoming the us who were always wandering the city in search of deliciousness.

=Honestly?= I turn to look at her. =I can't either.=

No. Wait, Brain, no. We're in public, and sort of in 'costume,' so it's Weaver who was whining into my brain. And it's Weaver I'm looking at now.

Like me, she's wearing one of her hoodies with a 'Hi, my name is: Weaver/Lexicon' sticker added to it, a pair of jeans, and a domino mask that I stuck a shaped 'hostile visual disruption' [Ward] onto. Honestly, even if it isn't at all what I originally set out to do, having anyone that looks under our hoods see nothing but a staticky blue glow while still letting us see and eat normally is definitely… glowing on me. I might need to make way dimmer for any kind of stealthy field work, but if I never figure out a way to make everyone just magically see their own face staring back at them from under my hood– Or helmet,or… whatever I settle on– then I think I might just keep doing this.

Unlike me though, she's standing stock still in that way she does when she's uncomfortable. Which, looking around, I can kind of understand. For all that Veirdian [Teleport] is the quiet, non-air-displacing variety, two people suddenly appearing on a crowded street in a flash of midnight blue light draws a lot of stares.

Hmmm… Two unknown people at that, which probably explains why everyone looks suddenly almost as nervous as my cousin.

Welp! The only out is through and the best way to fix that reaction to seeing us is time and exposure. So, with a shrug, I force myself into motion. Gluing the[Scry] eye I used to find us an empty patch of sidewalk to the back of my head, I twirl around and beckon Weaver to follow me as I skip backwards down the street. "Come on, Weaver! I'm hungry!"

When she doesn't start moving immediately, I add, =If it helps, just remember they're way more afraid of you than you are of them.= For good measure, I tack on my [Scry] eye's view of people scrambling to get out of my way.

=Right.= Taylor starts forward and… I think she just nodded at me?

Hmmm… I didn't really think about how much they'd hide any sort of emoting when I set up the [Wards]. Something to consider for next time, I guess? For now I'll have to remember to really ham up my body language where possible. Then again… maybe I'll keep it? I mean, oh no, my costume forces me to be a Giant Ham? However shall I survive!?

…I wonder if 'the scenery' is tasty?

Ugh, I'm hungry. Why did getting ready have to take so… forever? Neither of us even wear makeup!

=Where are we going, anyway?= Weaver asks as she catches up.

=Nuh uh.= I twirl back around to face forward, [Scry] eye zipping off to peruse some menus. =You have to ask that out loud.=

=Seriously?=

=Yup!= I make a show of looking around. =Powers are like loaded guns.= I shove over a mental image of cartoon, chibi-fied, versions of us wandering down the same street waving Ak-47's at the crowd. =Caping is as much about reassuring the panicky villagers that you won't drown them in bees if they ask for help as it is convincing the villains that you absolutely will if they start shit.=

=...Fine.= Taylor huffs. "Where are we going anyway?"

=Try to be louder, but that was good.= I spread my arms and gesture at the myriad restaurants, shops, and such that are packed into both sides of the street. "I don't know yet! Right now we're just looking around at menus for anything that looks good." I let myself gawk like the tourist I guess I technically am, embracing the almost uncanny valley effect of being in the North End but also very much not. Like, I'm pretty sure that pizzeria right there should be a pastry shop.

...And now I want a cannoli! But no, Stomach, those are dessert not dinner. We need to find a-

"OH!" Reality intrudes upon my half-planned skit as I spot what I'm looking for way sooner than I expected to. I'd be upset but, you know, delicious food spotted! "Nevermind! We're eating there!"

Grabbing Weaver's arm, I drag her along behind me up to the hostess station of what the sign says is some place called 'Venetian Moon Ristorante.'

"Uh." The hostess's face flickers briefly through 'are we being robbed?' on its way to 'strained customer service smile' but that's fine. "...Welcome to the Venetian Moon."

"Hi." I wave. "Table for two please!"

"Right this way?" Her smile is still very strained and body language stiff as she turns to start leading us to a table.

Hmmm… I look down at myself and then over at Weaver.

Maybe… Maybe next time we do this we should buy some brighter color hoodies rather than just grabbing a few of Taylor's old ones and hastily [Mend]ing the shit out of them?

Or, you know, wear my actual costume when Tay- Weaver finishes making it.

Then again... Am I really gonna wanna get dressed all fancy and stuff up just to pick up food? If this place's Tortellini al Forno is any good then probably I'll be here often enough for them to just get used to me...

---

Hot hot hot!

Pulling my forkful of stuffed pasta, melted cheese, and port wine whatever-it-is goodness out of my mouth, I blow on it a few times before stuffing it back in.

=Mmmmm… so good! Are you sure you don't want to try any?=

=I'm fine.= Weaver shakes her head, slowly twisting up a forkful of her scampi and then putting it in her mouth without dripping anything on herself.

=More for me!= I shrug, only remembering to put more of my arms into than usual at the last moment. =Where were we?=

=You said you had some ideas about distancing our 'cape personas' from our civilian lives.=

=Right.= Taking a sip of water, I explain. =So, obviously the bit I said before we left about taking all those complaints I had about you needing to, like, at least pretend you need to look where you're going and yeeting them out the window while in costume will be a good start. Very Clark Kenting and whatnot.=

=...Who?=

Oh my god.

I stare at my cousin for a moment before remembering she can't actually see the face I'm making at her.

=He's…= Oh. Right. Alexandria kind of ate his whole shtick here. =Nevermind. Just… imagine some guy walks into a gay bar. He's good looking or whatever, and even has the same hair and face as, say… Legend. But… he slouches, and he's shy to the point of avoiding eye contact when he talks and… you get it, right? No one's going to think he's actually Legend even if plenty of people tell him the resemblance is uncanny.=

Weaver slumps forward, resting her face in her hands. =Did you just out Legend?=

=What? No. Taylor, everyone knows he's gay. It's, like, his thing.=

=Not that. I- Why do you know who Legend is?=

=Oh…= I laugh. =Yeah, no. I have no idea who Legend is.=

Which is kinda funny, really.

I mean, it might be fanon but I'm pretty sure Eidolon's name is David and obviously Alexandria is Becky. Hell, I'm even like… 90 percent-ish that Legend's husband is named Arthur. But Legend himself? I've never been able to remember his name. Mike? No, I'm pretty sure that's wrong.

And either way, none of that has anything to do with anything we were talking abou-

=He's not that 'Clark Kenting' guy you mentioned?=

=...No!= As much as I try not to outright laugh at my cousin, given the terrible associations that likely has for her from school, I can't help it. Fortunately, [Telepathy] means I don't need air to talk so even being nearly in tears from laughing too hard can't stop me from reassuring her. =I mean, he probably isbut, like… Clark Kent is Superman, from those old-timey comics and stuff?= I push across a mental image of the guy in question. The one I'm using is from the animated series which probably never existed here, but whatever. ='Clark Kenting' is just what people call the way he could like… hide in plain sight using just a pair of glasses and a lot of body language as a disguise.= I have the mental image of Superman do the spinning costume change thing, swapping his costume for glasses and business suit as he slouches into being Clark Kent.

=...Oh.=

=Yeah. Honestly, I'm probably the one that's going to have to work on that side of things the hardest given that I tend to be very… me… like all the time.=

=You don't say?=

"Pbbbbt!" I stick my tongue out at her as far as it will go and blow a raspberry. =Anyway…my next idea was that I think we should 'let slip' that we're sisters some time when we're out in costume.=

=I'm not saying no, but… Why?=

=Because it's both technically true-ish yet also not at all how we'd show up in any records if someone breaks the rules and goes looking.=

=You're… really concerned about that, aren't you?=

=Brockton Bay has Coil, who kidnaps Thinkers. Boston…= I wave my fork in a circle at the restaurant full of people watching, or in a few cases, aiming their phones at us. =...has Accord, who sells people that annoy him to the Yangban.=

=Seriously?=

=I'm fuzzy on the details but I'm pretty sure that's what happened to one of the Travelers.= I nod, bobbing my whole body up and down so she can see it even through the distortion ward. =I assume New York and etc all have their own less flashy but equally less savory sorts of villains even if the only ones I can name off the top of my head are, like, March and Butcher who are both more the 'murder the fuck out of your face' sort of dangerous.=

=Mmmm…= Weaver grunts in agreement. =Who's Mar…= Weaver trails off, suddenly sitting up and staring at… the wall?

=Something wrong?= I ask, stuffing another forkful of deliciousness into my face just in case we need to run.

=...Maybe?= I get an impression of a map with an arrow pointing at a fairly large section of a street a few blocks over. =A lot of people are moving towards their windows to stare at something and I think some of them are screaming?=

=Uh.= I set my fork back down on my plate. =Hang on.=

Putting a [Scry] a couple hundred meters above the buildings around us, I share the view with Weaver as I try to orient myself relative to her map. =Uh… Where?=

=Over this way.= She imagines an arrow into existence over the eye's field of vision and I send it careening off in the indicated direction.

Which quickly leads to us finding a… uh… =Is that a gorilla?=

=I think so?=

Okay then.

A large, as in twelve feet tall, leafy-green, gorilla-looking thing is absolutely booking it down Hanover street while a metallic teenager– Weld, presumably– sprints after it.

Welcome to Bizarro Boston, everyone.

My focus wavers between my [Scry] eye and my dinner plate.

From what I can see from on high, the 'gorilla' has already caused a couple car accidents as people hurry to pull over and get out of its way but otherwise doesn't really seem to be attacking anyone per se apart from that. So… honestly, it's not that much worse for the already stop and go traffic than an ambulance with its lights on would be.

We could just continue eat-

Weaver, of course, immediately stands up and starts toward the exit.

I sigh. =What are you.= I stop myself, pushing my view of how many of the other patrons' eyes are now locked on to her. "What are you doing?" I ask a little louder than necessary for their benefit.

Fortunately, Weaver seems to grok what I'm doing pretty quickly, turning back to look at me and answering just as loudly. "...Stopping it?"

Part of me wants to ask her how exactly she plans to do that with bugs– In the middle of winter no less– but on top of having spent a not inconsiderable amount of effort trying to build up her opinion of her power… bugs are probably way better equipped to handle a gorilla made of leaves than they are Lungand… yeah.

Also, Weaver doesn't seem like she's in a mood to appreciate a half-joking suggestion that we become snowbirds, so instead I go with my other legitimate concern. "I know it's probably one of Blasto's… whatever-they're-calleds, but I don't think we're supposed to call them an 'it' until we confirm that they're not a Case 53." Which, as much empathy as my current situation may give me for their plight, Weaver and I are not the right people to handle.

Weld, on the other hand, is. Which is probably why a Ward is involved in this not-so-high speed chase to begin with?

…Or was the Brockton Bay wards being the only ones that saw combat regularly a fanon thing?

Weaver's head tilts to the side. "How do we tell the difference?"

I shrug, letting her question pull me from my tangent. "Probably by…" I groan. "…going out there and talking to them."

I can't see her face, obviously, but I don't need [Telepathy] to feel the impatience wafting off her as she makes an 'after you' gesture towards the door.

"Fiiine…" I sigh, glancing forlornly down at my delicious food before grabbing my napkin off my lap and tossing it on the table. "Let's go be heroes."

If nothing else, my statement seems to make our rapidly approaching waitress relax a little. Her smile even stops looking quite so forced as I dig my wad of cash out of my pocket and wave a bunch of it at her.

…Did she think we were going to just up and leave without paying? Are 'dine and dash villains' some kind of, like, thing here on Bet?

Whatever. Rounding up what I remember of the prices and then adding another twenty on top of that means I'm probably over paying by, like, a lot, but on the other hand… "Thanks…" I don't so much glance at her name badge as take full advantage of it being directly at eye level. "...Amanda. Can you box this up and set it aside for us?"

Halfway to the door already, Weaver whirls around and, I think, stares at me for a moment before remembering I can't see whatever face she's making at me. =Seriously!?=

"What?" I put my arms into shrugging at her. "I don't even know where you're going. It's not like we're walking there."

"...Right." Weaver doubletimes it back to me, holding out a hand.

=Get ready to run.= I grab her hand. =I'll drop us just behind Weld.=

I don't bother waiting for the blast of acknowledgement to become words before casting [Teleport].

The world flickers midnight blue and suddenly Weaver and I are the us that were already sprinting down the road after Weld.

Weaver stumbles the first step, not really having any way to actually be ready for the first step of suddenly-running! But she manages to use the hand I'm holding to catch herself and quickly finds her stride.

"Yo, Weld!" I yell, waving at him as his head whips around to stare at me. He doesn't stop running though, and only barely stumbles a little which is impressive, even if he immediately veers off to put some distance between us.

Ugh. Brighter color hoodies are moving from the maybe pile to the definitely pile. I'd roll my eyes at him, but it's not like he'd be able to tell, so I just ignore it and press on with the important question: "Is that a person?" I point, probably unnecessarily, at the leafy-gorilla-thing we're now all chasing. "Or one of Blasto's… whatchamacallits?"

Weld hesitates briefly, hand going to his ear, but then it drops back down as he veers back closer to us. "One of Blasto's!"

"You're sure?"

He nods. "The Teeth hit one of his labs and a bunch of these things came out to defend it before running off when the Protectorate showed up."

Ooooh… Yeah, 'everyone else is busy dealing with The Teeth,' does explain how a Ward might be let out on their own. "So… we're stopping it?"

Weld shakes his head. "Just keeping track of it until-" He cuts off, putting a hand to his ear and then looks our way. "If you can stop it, that'd be appreciated."

"Kay!" I try to nod, but putting my whole upper body into it to compensate for my current lack of face is… kinda hard… while sprinting down the road so I have no idea if he can tell.

Then I turn back to staring at the fleeing leaf-gorilla.

Damn. Can I stop it?

I eye my mana pool and run through my options.

…I should still be good to get us home? Well, as long as I don't fuck around any more than necessary.

That in mind, I use [Blink] rather than [Teleport] to become the me who's always been waiting in the middle of the road right where the cars have all already pulled out of the way.

=Jane!=

=What?= Aurifying [Stoneshape] and crossing my fingers, I pull a bunch of the road's underlayers out from under it, leaving the top centimeter or so in place, held up only by my will, while forming a low wall in between myself and the leaf-gorilla.

=You left me behind!=

=Bitch, I am not made of mana!=

Fortunately, the leaf-gorilla– Which, from the front, looks like it picked a fight with a wood chipper and somehow won.– decides to try and go over my deliberately insufficient barrier rather than around and I let the hollowed out road collapse right as it tries to put its weight on it.

=I don't even-= Weaver's response dissolves into a blast of irritated discontent. Or maybe I just lose focus on it, being too busy shoving the 'wall' forward as the gorilla's momentum forces it into my impromptu pit trap. Having the stone flow around its flailing limbs as it crashes down and re-solidify without letting it use that same stone as a handhold to grab onto to stop itself is a lot harder to do than describe.

I manage to get both legs and an arm, but the other arm slips free and takes a swing at me before I can grab it.

It misses, barely. A green blur just suddenly in my face before I can so much as blink, and then gone again as the wind of its passing buffets me, startles me into belatedly throwing myself backwards where I fall on my ass in an undignified heap.


Only 2?

…Hooray for landing squarely on the only part of me with any padding worth mentioning, I guess?

The leaf-gorilla continues struggling, even punching the ground to try and break free. Which, just in case I missed the green hand-shaped advert that whizzed past my face a moment ago, serves as a fairly stark reminder for future-Jane: Punch Wizards can cast [Fist] a lot faster than the one second global cooldown my spells work off of.

Fortunately, even at twelve feet tall, punching its way free from solid stone isn't really a viable solution in the short term. Just in case though, I crab walk backwards a bit and then stand up before letting…


…[Stoneshape] lapse.

Fucking now you level up? Whatever. More important things to worry about at the moment.

Like, for instance, watching to make sure the fused stone holding it doesn't immediately give out without my will backing it up.

It… doesn't seem to be? So, dusting off my pants, I try talking to it. "Yo!" I wave. "Are you a person in there? Can you talk or anything?"

Apart from continuing to try and break free, there's no reaction. Nor, as far as I can tell, are any of the noises it's making any kind of attempt to communicate with me. Not even to, like, flip me off or whatever.

Right. So… Person vs Thing hopefully settled, I guess it's time to… uh…

Huh.

I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next here.

Should I even be doing anything more here?

Shuffling sideways, I keep an eye on the leaf-gorilla as I make my way around it towards where Weld and Weaver seem to have been joined by some out of breath looking lady in purple spandex a short ways off.

No one's been covered in bees, which I assume is a good sign, even if they're both keeping their distance and Weld has his hand to his ear again.

"Hey!" I wave at them. "Old people!" I give the two teens and maybe-teen/maybe-twenty-something a moment to have their confused 'wait, does she mean me?' moment before I Vanna White at the leaf-gorilla. "What do we do with it now?"

Purple-lady looks up from her hands on knees catching-my-breath position but all she 'says' is a wheezing noise before flailing an arm at Weld who gamely picks up the slack. "Do with it?"

"Yeah." I smack a fist into my palm. "Does Console just want us to squish it so it stops trying to escape?" I point at where it's continuing to try and do just that. "Or are these things, like, a hazmat issue now?"

"Ah." Weld gestures at his earpiece. "That's what we've been discussing."

Purple-lady loudly sucks in a deep breath and then tries talking again. "Can you even 'squish' it? They've proven surprisingly durable in the past."

"Really?" I ask. "The thing's front half is kinda shredded."

"This one ran through one of Vex's fields and kept going."

Vex… Vex… "Oh. That's the razor glitter force field… uh… dude-lady-person, right?"

"I don't think anyone would call her a Lady, but yes."

"Fair enough and in that case…" I call up [Stoneshape]'s new box.


Oof. Now there's a transition level if I ever saw one. Very promising implications for what level 10 will look like, but still, oooooof.

"...Maybe?"

Purple-lady nods. "We have the go ahead for you to try then."

I make a point of looking to Weaver.

=What?=

=Pretty sure she means 'my boss wants to know more about what you can do without actually asking you about what you can do' so… I'm being equally obvious about saying she's not the boss of me it's your call without actually saying I care more about your opinion than theirs.=

=That's...= Weaver more huffs than laughs, but it's a start. =They've already seen you do the rocks thing, and…= Weaver shrugs. "It's not like we can just leave it there."

"Fair enough." Cracking my knuckles I turn back toward the gorilla thing. "I would feel kinda bad about adding to the city's pothole collection, let alone something like, well… that." I gesture broadly at the huge mess I made out of the road.

I get three steps forward before pausing and turning back around as I realize I never actually got an answer on the hazmat thing. "And we're sure it's not, like, toxic or anything?"

Purple-lady shakes her head. "None of the others have been."

"Kay." I nod, skipping back over to my leafy opponent and watching it for a moment.

Hmmm… I was originally going to hit it with a big rock or maybe a stone spike but if it can run through Vex's razor field with only cosmetic damage then…

Aurifying [Stoneshape] I- Woah…

…I get distracted briefly by the much larger radius of my stonesense aura. I guess this might be doable after all.

Double checking there's nothing that feels like a pipe under or between the gorilla and I, I start slowly lifting up another section of road a short distance away. I try to keep the asphalt and it's supporting sand and gravel layers together a single chunk as best I can as I expose the base dirt buried way down there, setting it all down all out of the way for later. Then, I start shifting said dirt and random rocks out from under the gorilla by pulling it all down, over, and then up though the new hole in the road until I have a large pit beneath the gorilla and an equally large blob of dirt floating next to me.

Lowering the gorilla into the pit by the fused stone wrapped around three of it's limbs, I dump the dirt on top of it until its filled in enough that I can grab the other arm and force that down too as I add even more dirt on top and level the top off. That done, I put the slab of road, sand, and gravel from the new hold back into place, re-fusing the asphalt together.

Now what do I do with the left over dirt?

…Oh, right, duh,

Keeping hold of the dirt in the pit and pressing it down so the gorilla can't escape, I-



…Oh.

A/N: My muse wandered off on me again for long enough that it probably won't be jarring anymore...
But for anyone that reread 18 "recently" yet not "literally-minutes" ago... Yes, the exp number is different now.
I changed my mind about what level I wanted the Leaf Gorilla to count as due to some considerations relating to a scene I haven't written yet but have had on my to do list from the beginning. And then! THEN! In the process of changing which cell I aimed the formula at to get the new number… I realized I'd calculated the whole thing off the wrong flipping column anyway. ARRRRGH!
…Note to self: if I ever go back and do edits, Jane should totally use 'flipping' instead of 'fucking'. Embrace the Tween, Jane. Embrace the Tween.

---

I stare at the little blue box hovering in front of me.



My thoughts on it are… Well, just trying to have all of them all at once is apparently enough to make my brain hurt.

Err, actually, that might be the mana-exhaustion. Letting [Stoneshape] lapse, I make sure [Meditation] is active before going back to staring at the box.

On the one hand, Erick's silly issues with these boxes suddenly don't seem quite so silly anymore. I killed something and have the box to prove it. It's dead because I killed it. And yeah, it's 'just a leaf-gorilla' but so was Harambe apart from the leaf bit and…

uh…

Yeah…

…Ooof.

I am suddenly very happy the box isn't displaying someone's name. "You have slain Harambe" would be bad. Or, even worse, something with unfortunate implications like, I don't know, "Alice Soylent," or whatever would just be… Not something I want to think about anymore.

I mean, sure, even with all of that baggage, there's a big part of me that is just flipping giddy. 'Cause like, of course I am. That's…what? A third of- Wait no. Ha! That's forty percent of what I get from leveling a skill to level 10.

Which means… the gorilla was level 10? Or at least that's how it would work if I were killing people-

Nope!

Nope nope nope! Come on, Brain, shush! I was very clear about the fact that we aren't going there.

Besides, it wasn't a people! It was a monster. Or a… bio-tinker construct or an Abomination unto Science-Nuggen or whatever they call them here. So… let's just move on shall we, brain?

So: Are monsters different? Like, mechanically, not… ethically or whatever. That one is as flipping obvious as it is unpleasant. Or at least it would have been on Veird. Here we have Dragon, who definitely is a person, so…

Ugh.

In what is kinda starting to sum up my experiences in Earth Bet so far, I once again find myself with awkward questions aplenty and no one to answer them.

'Cause, like, why level 10? That feels really low for something that I'm pretty sure would have just straight up taken my face off if that swipe it took at me had connected.

Um... Wait, no, I'm just going to go back to not thinking about how close I came to maybe probably dying today.

…Not that killing it right back wasn't equally trivial. So maybe that's why it's only-

Wait no. Arkenthingy didn't really do 'Challenge Ratings' or whatever. It being level 10 just means that it was level 10. Whatever that means for monsters– or Bio-tinker construct abominations as the case may be– here on Earth Bet where there is no System tracking XP gains for anyone but me.

Did Erick ever figure out what XP is? Cause-

No! One rabbit hole at a time!

So. Deep breath in… and out… Why level 10? And does that have anything to do with anything given that box's other obvious issues.

Namely, why is it leaf-gorilla D if I've only fought one of them? Aren't I supposed to be able to use the kill confirmation box as, like, proof of how many I bagged for kill quests or something? That's clearly wrong in this case, but… why? And if it's just that I'm misremembering how they work, then what doesthat D actually indicate? Is that literally its name and this the fourth Leaf-Gorilla Blasto ever made? Is it the fourth one of some subset? Like, the fourth to join the presumably still ongoing battle between Blasto, The Protectorate, and The Teeth? The fourth to die overall? The fourth to die today?

"You okay?" A hand lands on my shoulder, startling me.

=Gah!= Arms flailing, I whirl around only to find Weaver standing next to me. =Oh. Hey. What's up?=

Weaver sighs into my brain and I stare at her in confusion for a moment before realizing she'd asked me a question out loud rather than via telepathy. And also that we have an audience because it turns out other people don't stop existing just because I forget about them, so Weld and Purple-Lady are standing nearby too now.

Not really sure how to respond, I settle for a decisive, "...huh?"

Weaver sighs again, out loud this time. "You kinda just stopped all of a sudden."

"Oh…" I start to wave negligently at the big hole in the street before realizing I do not have enough mana left in the tank to both fix that and teleport us both home. "Yeah… I…" Refusing to let my guilt over making a mess of the street get us stranded here I instead lean into my conflicted feelings over my victory, letting the aborted motion blend into a whole body slump. "Mister Gorilla is dead." Taking a step forward I wrap my arms around Weaver's middle and smoosh my face against her as I look around with my scry eye to find us and have it float over.

Weaver, of course, just stands there, doing her rigidly still thing because she's not used to improv work. Or surprise hugs.

=Come on…= I groan at her. =Play along.=

"There... There?" Her Baymax impression sounds more confused than comforting as she pats the back of my head, but I guess it's close enough.

"Can we go home now?" I whine outloud, while elaborating mentally, =My headache tells me I don't have much left in the tank and I'd rather not let the government put my limitations in a report Coil can steal.=

---

Blipping us back into our room at home, I sway on my feet a bit as my mana bottoms out almost completely.

"Jane?" Weaver grabs my shoulder to steady me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." I nod, before suddenly having all the regrets and deciding it might be better to just sit down on Taylor's bed for a bit. "I just need a moment. Or maybe five."

"Okay." Weaver stares at me awkwardly for a moment. Not her 'still as a statue' Skitter-awkward, but like, normal human awkward-silence awkward.

…Oof. My brain hurts.

"...If you're sure." Weaver eventually continues, shrugging slightly before peeling off her mask.

"Yeah." Following suit, I almost try to cast [Cleanse] reflexively before catching myself and settling for rubbing my face and then checking my hand to make sure there isn't a bunch of dust or grime on it. Getting found out because I walked up to Uncle Danny looking like a domino-mask patterned raccoon would just be… embarrassing.

Ugh… I should have teleported us into the bathroom so we could use the mirror.

"The headaches fade pretty quickly at this point once I stop pushing things. Honestly, I'm more bummed out about not being able to go back for our food but I guess telling Weld he can have it isn't the worst." I pause, a depressing thought occurring to me. "Assuming the PRT actually lets him eat- Er. Wait. Can Weld even eat people-food or is he like a Wrought?"

"A what?"

…Whoops.

Welp! Nothing for it now. "Wroughts were these metal-golem-people things in a story I read online once." A story which my powers are totally based on, but mentioning that would make me sound crazy even by Earth Bet standards. "They, like, ate metal and stuff, with rust being really bad for them or something... And not like 'potato chips are bad for you' bad, but like 'please don't drink the anti-freeze' bad. I think? Eh. I don't know, it's been a while. I just remember they needed the metals needed to be like, really pure or magical or…"

Wait.

Wrought-grade metals.

As in the kind of metals you need when doing enchanting.

"Arrrg…" I groan, flopping backwards on the bed, "I am made entirely of The Dumb."

"Ummm?" Taylor leans over the bed, her concern and confusion both so great that some of each actually makes it to her facial expression.

"Remember those Brute rings I never ended up being able to make?"

"Yeah." Taylor nods, confusion fading.

"I just figured out why."

"And thats… bad?"

"I mean… knowing is half the battle and all, but I need… uh…"

Fudgetical sticks.

How did Erick make those metals again? Something about his rainbow [Ward]?

Yeah! Any metals he [Duplicate]'d inside the rainbow came out magical because… reasons?

Hmmm… not sure if they ever actually explained that? I vaguely remember it being because of the 'thou shalt be at rest' bit, and had something to do with how running [Meditate] involves opening yourself to the mana or whatever so the metal created in that state-

Wait.

Oh no.

Wasn't duplicate one of those funky unlisted registrar-only spells? I remember there being a whole thing where he had to learn it from Albus Dragondore and… something about busted teacups?

I call up my Status and do a search just in case I'm wrong, but sure enough… there's no [Duplicate] listed.

"Jane..?" Taylor pokes me and I realize I just started growling angrily at what, to her, looks like empty air. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No!" Crossing my arms over my shoulder, I huff sulkily. "I can't-"

Wait.

"I mean, technically I guess I can… I'm just annoyed that treating the metal properly is going to need…" I start counting off the powers I'm missing on my fingers: [Lightshape], [Shadowshape], [Fireshape], [Watershape], and [Airshape], to combine with [Stoneshape], which I've had for, like, ever and still haven't gotten to level 10. Then! Then, after I get all of those and [Ward] to 10, I need to combine them right, get [Mend] to 10 and then finally figure out how the F-

Waitaminute!

My counting becomes a fingersnap as I remember that no, Erick's way of doing it was weird even by native Veirdian standards. The natives, most of whom were not Archmages that could just sing new spells into existence on a whimsical whim of DD-loving whimsy, did it… uh… some other way?

Some kind of fancy katana-style folding nonsense?

I think?

Well, that I can at least try with just [Metalshape] and a [Meditation]+[Ward] combo that grants rested status. Which cuts down the list of powers I need to: "Two!" I hold up two fingers. "Two new powers. Or possibly seven, but I think I can manage it with just two if I'm willing to be slow about it."

"Jane." Taylor's face turns mulish. "You get new powers all the time."

"Yeah but these powers are like [Teleport]!" I whine. "I can't even pick them until I have the pre-reqs fully charged."

"So that's what? Three weeks?"

"Eh." I waggle my hand in a so-so gesture. "Maybe half that? I already have the pre-reqs, I just haven't been-"

"Jane." My cousin huffs at me. My cousin who, as I suddenly recall, doesn't get new powers at all, ever. Well, not unless you count going-Khepri after letting Amy stick a finger in her brain, which I feel like shouldn't count even if it technically might.

"Right…" I nod. "Shutting up now."

"I'm happy, feeling glad! I've got sunshine in a [Ward]!"

Another ball of sunshine appears in front of me. I take a moment to look it over and then mark another tally in the success column of my notebook before dismissing the spell.

"I'm happy, feeling glad! I've got sunshine in a [Ward]!"

Staring at the distinctly green and leafy-looking Wardlight hovering over me, I sigh.

Cogito Ergo Wardicus Splaticus.

Again.

Seriously, Brain, is it really that hard to just… not remember that the lyrically appropriate song is actually about the marajuanas?

I think.

Maybe?

Eh, whatever.

Gorilliaz don't seem to have ever been a thing on Earth Bet and regardless of whether I'm remembering the meaning of the lyrics correctly or not: Special [Ward]s before level 10 be hard, yo!

Making another tally mark in the failure column of my notebook, I dismiss the spell and-

"Jane…" My cousin calls from downstairs. "Aren't we going to the mall today?"

…!

"Be right down!" I call back, rolling out of bed and grabbing a fresh shirt off the top of the [cleanse]'d basket.

Yup. I totally need to get going right now.

Plus! I add mentally, eyeing my status, I'm, like, almost down to half my mana and yeah, The Grind may be nigh-eternal, but doing too much all at once is the direct path to an unnecessary migraine.

And I totally need that mana for teleporting us to the mall.

…Yup! That is absolutely why I'm stopping and not 'cause I am bored out of my skull already. Nosiree!

I get the shirt over my head and one arm into its sleeve before looking down and realizing that, in my haste to escape, I never actually took my pajama top off.

Hmmm… looking further down, I have to admit that pants would probably also be a good idea.

Ugh! Why can't I just-

Actually… have I redone that experiment since hitting 10 in Blink?

Grin spreading across my face, I grab a pair of jeans and then turn to face the mirror.

Deep breath in!

Be the me that already bothered to get dressed today!

Deep breath out!

[Blink]

The world flickers midnight blue as I blip in place without really moving.

And then I'm back to standing there, staring at myself in the mirror.

Only now, the reflection staring back at me is wearing the jeans and tee-shirt combo I hastily picked out a moment ago.

I'm also high fiving that reflection, which is a little odd but given the two blue boxes hovering off to the side of my vision, I'll allow it.




"Wooo!"

I resist the urge to cackle before remembering there's no one else in the house except for me and my cousin.

"Ahahaahaaa!" I throw my hands in the air and do zoomies in a tight circle as I indulge my not-so-inner mad scientist. "Magical Girl Transformation Sequence get!"

Is the spell basically a vain and useless waste of mana outside of a couple super niche scenarios? Yes.

Do I care? No!

Free spell!

Free spell!

Not to mention all the XP that'll eventually come from leveling it up.

"Are you okay up there?" My cousin calls up the stairs.

Pausing what, to her, probably sounds like my herd of elephants impression, I skip over to the door and wrench it open. "Yeah!" I yell back. "I found a new trick that I… hang on a moment, you need to see it."

Spinning around I grab my-

Err… wait…

Walking around the room, I check the bed, the floor, and all the usual places I might absentmindedly toss a shirt while getting dressed.

…Where'd my pajama top go?

---

"Oh… kay… the mall is crowded today." I state the obvious while once more lamenting the loss of my ability to see over people. "It's a good thing Aisha wanted to meet up so early cause finding her is going to be hard in all of…" I wave my hand at the packed mall. "This"

Especially without being able to 'Marco/Polo' via cellphone.

"Yup!" A voice that isn't Taylor's agrees from right next to my ear.

I most certainly do not startle so badly that I screech like the little girl I now am, whirling around to… glare at Aisha?

"Yo!" Said gremlin grins at me.

Welp, I guess that solves that. We found Aisha. Or Aisha found us rather.

…Mere moments after Taylor and I left the bathroom we teleported into to get to the mall.

On the one hand, the mall bathroom is probably the place that's most likely to happen. Even I need to go potty once a week or so and I'm a magical girl.

On the other hand– I squint suspiciously at her– if my Social QWorker dropped me off in some kind of Tinker-of-Fictionesque AU… how sure I can I be that she doesn't have her powers already?

Could she have been with us at the house the whole time?

Did I teleport her here with us and now just can't remember?

…Is she why I can't find my favorite pajama top?

Wait, no, I'm a duh. I'm not missing a whole ass passenger's worth of mana randomly.

I have however apparently stared at her suspiciously for long enough that it's getting awkward.

Welp! When in doubt… distraction attack!

"Squish!" Lunging forward, I glomp onto her before she notices my faux pas. Or at least before she has a chance to comment on it.

"Stop calling me fat!" Aisha grumps, wedging a hand between her face and mine as she tries– and only mostly fails– to stop me from turning my hug into a koala bear impression, complete with smooshing my cheek against hers.

Unfortunately, Gravity has no respect for proper glompings and Aisha completely fails to remain upright as I lock my legs around her waist.

"I'm not calling you the f-word!" I laugh, half at the absurdity of the situation and half at how hard Taylor is broadcasting a feeling of 'If anyone asks, I don't know you' over [Telepathy], while Aisha and I topple over sideways–



–and sprawl out on the floor. "Bad at piggyback rides, maybe." I add, before finally letting go as she starts trying to wiggle free. "But not…" I clear my throat loudly. "Not that."

"Bad at–" Aisha grumbles as she climbs back to her feet. "Okay then! Let's see you do any better."

Rolling my eyes as I kip back up to my feet as well, I make a point of eying her up and down once, nodding firmly, and then loudly announcing, "challenge accepted!"

Then I grab her under her arms and try to just pick her up like I would an unruly toddler.

Hmmm… Despite having the equivalent strength of a 19 year old CIA field agent crammed into a 12 year old's body, lifting her is actually kinda hard.

"See?" Aisha sticks her tongue out.

Not about to tolerate any kind of body image issue nonsense from a friend of mine, nevermind one who is drop dead gorgeous, I opt to forgo explaining that it's just my complete and utter lack of lifting technique that's making it awkward cause of how close we are in mass and instead dump 3 of my spare points into strength– Moving myself a few points over on the bell curve from 'a bit above average for an adult male' to 'I pick things up and put them down a lot, if not quite professionally'– before I can talk myself out of it.

"You…Gah!" She starts to say something before cutting herself off as I step in and then heave her upwards with enough of a twist that she spins about 180 degrees before running out of momentum.

Grabbing her by the hips, I half duck under her and half lift her onto my shoulders, doing my best to ignore the way Aisha grabs my head in a deathgrip to stop herself from swaying.

"You are not fat." I repeat, marching forward into the mall before feeling Taylor's amusement reminds me that I've forgotten something– Or, well, someone.

The moment I spin back around toward my cousin though, any embarrassment I may or may not have been feeling over that vanishes as inspiration strikes.

"Squish!" I state in my best 'this is cereal' tone, while doing my best to look up at her without either pushing her off my shoulders or letting my tween-brain acknowledge that in doing so I'm effectively rubbing my head between her namesakes.

"...J- " Aisha starts to huff, her face looking like she can't decide if she's amused or annoyed, as she likewise tries to lean forward and look down at me without toppling us over again. Then, as she cuts herself off, her grin wins out. "...Fish!"

Aisha stares down at me looking far too pleased with herself. Normally I'd ignore it, but she's grinning as hard as she does when she implies Kid Win and Rune are gonna pee on each other and… I don't get it?

"...What?"

"If I gotta be Squish." Aisha leans slightly to the side and looks down like she's gonna hurl, but then just blows a raspberry. "Then you're Fish."

"O… kay? I thought we'd already established that, but sure!" I shrug. "Technically, that's Captain Goldfish to you, P- Oh! I get it. Yeah, Squish and Fish are both one syllable so it sounds better if you shorten it so you can just say Squish and Fish."

Mystery solved, nod to myself before setting off into the mall once more. I'll save calling her Privates First Class Squish for another day. Some time when we have a larger captive audience for the resulting train wreck.

"Squish and Fish… Doo doo… Fish and Squish… Doo doo…" I start to improv, only to not be able to come up with anything for a next line off the top of my head.

"That's not…" Aisha's protests dissolve into laughter.

"Hey." Refusing to break stride, I take one hand off her legs to point at her. "You try making up a song on the spot and with no-"

I'm pulled from my rant by the feeling of 'I don't know you' coming from Taylor amping up to 'even if no one's asking, I want it on the record that I don't know you.'

This reminds me not only that Taylor is here with us but also that she's not being included in our banter. Which is wrong. Taylor needs all the non-hostile socialization she can get. Especially if just being near Aisha and I is still enough to make her feel embarrassed on our behalf.

But it also reminds me I'd had an idea before Aisha distracted me.

Not only that, but that very same idea I'd already had solves the socialization problem too!

"Squish." I switch from pointing at her to flailing my arm at her shoulder. "Squish. Squuuiiiishhhhh…"

"Whaaaat?"

"We." I go back to pointing at her and then swirl my finger in a circle so as to include myself as well. "Neeeeed." I stress the word so as to properly convey the importance of the situation. "A trenchcoat." Then I switch to pointing at my cousin. "So we can pretend we're one person and join the tallgirl competition."

Aisha looks over at Taylor, then at me, and then back over at Taylor. At which point it finally seems to click that while she is currently "taller," she is not really looking down at Taylor despite being on my shoulders.

Aisha's eyes meet mine once more before she starts nodding vigorously in approval. "Yes!"

That settled, I once more set off into the mall, willfully ignoring the fact that I've never been here before and have no idea where anything is.

"Hey…" Aisha murmurs quietly a few steps later, tapping my head. "...You sure you're good?"

"I'm… fine?" I frown, feeling lost, and once again having navigate the delicate art of trying to tilt my head back to look at her without knocking her off of my shoulders. "...Why wouldn't I be?"

"Cause you're carrying me?"

"Oh, for fucks sake." I cut her off, blowing a raspberry while making sure she can see me roll my eyes at her as hard as I can. "Yes, Aisha, I'm good."

And, even if my body's stat-backed tweeny resilience somehow doesn't prove up to shielding me from the consequences of my own actions come morning, I have [Treat Injury] to unfuck any bitching about it my back, knees, and/or neck might come up with.

"...Kay." A moment passes, and then I feel her hips wiggling on my shoulders as she points toward a store that has coats as part of their display piece. "Then giddy the fuck up already!"

"Neigh!" I giggle, doing my best to approximate a canter as I can while balancing Aisha on my shoulders.