The Gacha Demon…FROM HELL!

(Author Notes: I swear to fucking god I did not cheat and fudge the rolls, I legitimately rolled for all of these )

I opened my eyes, I than realized I don't have eyes, I then realized I can't see any more than I can see out of my elbow.

I then started to panic, or at least I tried to, it was strange, there was no sensation, I could not feel, I could not see, nor could I smell or taste or hear.

It was just me…and my thoughts.

And that was terrifying enough for me to feel that particularly emotion for a few moments…before it too faded.

Link! Connection!…Stabilized…Host Secured.

What…

Three Gold Random Tickets has been distributed to you at the account of your Death, Universal Erasure, and Enduring the Nonexistence.

What the fuck was this thing talking about…there was some sort of…presence in my mind…a foreigner that has invaded my thought space with no sound nor sight.

And yet I welcomed it…because feeling someone else with me was for a instance scary and yet…comforting, that it was not just me, myself, and I.

A unwelcome stranger is better than complete isolation…though would that make them welcome in that case? Never mind.

…I felt an urge…something in my mind telling me to "pull" on what I assume are the tickets…I may as well, it was something to do to ward off the maddening nothing.

[Path to Love]
|Epic Ability|
Allows you to view how to romance people and unlocks their romance questlines. If you have this on your side and still cannot get the partner you want then there is probably no path to love for you.

I…thank you? I am not sure if this is something I want- Actually nah this is…actually nice, practically guarantees a girlfriend…how bad is it if I have basically a guideline to woo my waifu?

I mean if I was in the opposite sex's shoes—Hell, if a girl has it on me!—I would actually be incredibly pleased considering the person in question would know how to best be a lover…

Though to be fair, it could also be seen as creepy,…would someone genuinely be upset if I knew the ins and outs of their interests when compared to people who are trying to do the same but not have my ability?

Push aside the morality of this later! I have two more! Also it's an ability…apparently I have slots, and I can only use one ability at the time.

I pulled another one.

[Adept Performance]
|Rare Skill|
You are a great performer. You can play all musical instruments well enough to impress most people, and you are great at singing too, enough to capture people's attention with your tunes and have a flair for impressing crowds. You certainly know how to put on a show. You would have a very successful entertainer career.

Wonderful, if I ever get to leave this place, I shall be the greatest Casanova to ever have lived, I was joking but it seems it is heading in this direction…

AGAIN! To quote that one dude with a metal arm in a video game I am struggling to remember right now.

[Velvet Sword]
|Epic Item|
Elden Ring - The sword of Saint Trina, forever dyed velvet. The sword is supernaturally sharp and durable, but its true ability is to expend the user's energy to unleash the Mist of Eternal Sleep. When exposed to the Mist of Eternal Sleep, the target will be put into a slumber that is impossible to wake up from, even if hurt or damaged. The stronger a target is, the longer they have to be exposed to the mist to get affected, and the easier they can wake up.

I-…oh…suddenly I didn't like the combo the three of these together looked, nope! NoNoNo, through that trash away…that's right…let the void slurp up that bad thought, mama—though I don't remember her—didn't raise no date drugger.

…hm? Curses?….why the hell not, hit me mysterious entity in my head!

[Weakness of Metal]
|Severity 9|
"From the moment I understood the weakness of metal, it disgusted me. I craved the ever-changing nature of flesh." Your body naturally and violently rejects any augmentations and implants you try to add to it. Even adding a metal tooth would cause your flesh and body to reject it violently.
|Resolve: Acquire 3 or more augment items from the gacha, or acquire 3 or more traits that contradict the curse|

Oh not that bad…what did I get-

Advantage Gold Random Ticket Acquired!

[Puck]
|Epic Familiar|
Re: Zero - The Great Spirit of Fire, a very misleading name for a spirit that focuses on Ice manipulation. They are capable of manipulating fire and ice as well as heat in general. He is also capable of minor healing, able to treat lesser wounds but not major ones, emotion reading and general magic. He can conjure ice constructs and freeze over entire towns, he can also bring temperatures down close to sub-zero but needs to recharge his mana from either the summoner or slowly from the environment.

Or

[Grow Your Own Golem Kit]
|Rare Item|
A beginner-friendly kit for growing your very own golem that even a child can use. Contains a comically large pot the size of a person, a watering can, a pack of cores, and a notebook. Simply put the core in the comically large pot alongside the items you want the golem to be made out of and then put in a piece of paper detailing the specifications of the golem you want to be made. Then bury it all with any kind of dirt and water 2 times morning and night for 7 days in a spot where it can receive sunlight and then dig up your ready golem from the dirt! You can make the process faster by using energy-rich soil.

…I without question took the little cat spirit…also is it just me or am I getting a lot of Epics?…do I have Protagonist luck? It sure as hell feel like it.

IN THAT CASE ROLL AGAIN!

[Do Not Resuscitate]
|Severity 15|
Healing abilities, potions and just about anything that directly heals you or increases your natural healing that is used on you is rendered ineffective. Your own abilities do not count
|Resolve: Acquire trait: Receptive Body OR consume 3 rare rank or higher healing items OR acquire 3 different abilities that can heal other targets|

FUUUUCK! I was immediately punished!

Major Curse - 1x Gold Choice Gacha Ticket(Allows you to pick the category of the ticket)

Oh…a choice between Traits, Abilites, Skill, Familiars, or Items…

Fuck skills, I already have a good item, I also have a good familiar…Trait or Abilities…I think I will go for Traits…they are passive.

[One with the Blade]
|Elite Trait|
You are one with your weapon, whatever item you wield gets your physical stats added to its own stats. As long as you are holding it, that copper coin in your hands is tougher than diamond, a regular bronze sword could split the heavens as long as you are strong enough yourself.

…Oh…this was nice…ok I am good, no more curses…now what?-

Suddenly, thank fucking god! I can fucking see…and I am suddenly looking down from a skyscraper, don't know where I am…but it sure as hell looks like earth.

…What the fuck am I supposed to do? I guess whatever I fucking want…What do I want?

(Author Notes: fun fact is that in the Pilot, charlie mentions fallen superheroes in her song, so that implies there are super heroes or there was originally supposed to be…well let's go)

Well this is something…

I wasn't sure where I was, it's a city of some kind, but I hated them in my life…I think? Pretty sure I didn't live in such a cramped space.

It could be Chicago, New York, Seattle, hell it may not even be in the USA, but somewhere else in the globe.

So here I am…on a roof, with my mind permanently scarred from the nothingness and being alone with my thoughts for god knows how long.

…Right, social interaction, I want some of that!

I looked around at the…not at all dirty roof of the skyscraper…wait, I looked around at all the other towers of glass and concrete…they looked fairly new.

Like not new new, but there should have been…a lot more of them than what I believe I was used to…perhaps it's a city under construction?

Looking down below at the mass of humans walking where they need to be walking, a sea of vehicles ranging from bikes to trucks traveling painfully slow through the roads.

I nodded, I was recalling what the words of the Gacha thing said, three freebie tickets for my death, being in the void, and the apparent destruction of my universe…

Should I hide out somewhere first?-

A ache in my heart.

Fuck no, I wanna talk, I wanna eat, I wanna fuck, whatever it is, but I sure as hell don't want to be left alone with my thoughts again…even with all of my senses back.

Across the floor, I walked up to the door that the roofs typically had, grabbing the handle I gave it a few tries, naturally it was locked.

Hm, I have two options, use my super sword to utterly destroy the door…likely cameras, so nah.

The other option…I walked around the edge of the roof, and indeed spotted the metal escape stair thingies that people were suppose to use in case of a fire…kinda dangerous.

I remember stories of human laziness where the emergency staircase just isn't maintained and may just as easily collapse on you from rust and lack of maintenance.

Wait…hold on…

I checked in my familiar space…I do have Puck…may as well, I summoned him as I raised an open palm hand in front of me.

Like orbs of green light condensation on each other, a bright light formed up a familiar gray cat, that floated just above my palm, and gave me a good ole yawn.

"Yaaaawn, man what a nap…oh hello!" The cat cheerfully said as his aqua blue eyes locked unto me, I don't know what I was…but there was something that sparked in his eyes, as if Puck imprinted on me or some shit.

"Oh you're my precious someone…I'm Puck! I will be protecting you from now on! If someone tries to hurt you I will end up," his voices suddenly sharpened to a ridiculous degree, like I legitimately felt scared at the moment.

"So what's your name!" He cheerfully said while his tail swayed, he was being all cutesy which was strange when looking at someone that would literally freeze all life on the planet if anything were to happen to me.

…I don't know if it's because of my time in the void that degraded a few of my morals or I am just that fucked up, but I actually found that rather sweet of him.

I nodded with a genuine, if small, smile, "Mortimer," before I froze, because I said that name on instinct, and did not intentionally give it.

Is that my name? Apparently it was.

Ding! You remembered your name!

Bronze Random Ticket

[Shadow Tag]
|Rare Ability|
Allows you to interact with the shadow of people as tangible objects, you can step on or pin their shadow to prevent them from escaping or grab it and pull them toward you.

Sweet…what the fuck am I suppose to use this for…like legit, what the hell am I ever gonna use this?!? It's literally just grabbing the shadow…so extra chance to stop the running ones?-

Wait…there is a creature I can speak to right here.

Puck nodded as he took in my name, as if memorizing it to his very core, before he smiled, much like a cat, "Mortimer…quite a name you got on ya!" He teased.

Suddenly thought to get down became secondary in nature as I grabbed him—gently—from the air and sat down crossed legged.

"I'm lonely, talk to me, everything you want to about yourself," was my immediate…request? Demand?…it was probably more along the lines of desperation.

Puck looked both amused and pleased, "Of course!…it's kinda weird, I already have likes or dislikes and stuff like that despite only existing for a short amount of time, I apparently like mayonnaise! Oh oh! There's also this things about the-" and just like that they have spent the rest of the day simply talking away.

As I exchanged what I—I think—liked before my time in the void, as we simply spent time together.

Also…to contract or not to contract…Magic is great, I can learn Magic via Puck as my mana tank and teacher…problem I have shit reserves meaning contract with me will massively weaken him and not get to be in his super never-ending winter, saber tooth Tiger form.

…I'll think of that later, for now all I care about is learning everything there is to know of my companion.

Whispers that were just a tad bit away from me understanding what they saying, a shrieking whisper that demanded my attention.

"Mortimer?" Puck called to me on top of my head as he noticed my breathing speeding up, and the fact something was off with my emotional state.

I shook my head as I walked and hop over building after building, with some assistance of my new buddy, groping my own hair to calm the alien sensations that were gently drifting off.

"Sorry Puck…it's as if something is repeatably reaching for me only to whisper shit," Hell at times he hallucinated several different scenes some he recognized from different medias or seemingly a random location.

"Langauge~" the gray cat teased before he got more serious, "But seriously,…This is the third time since you came out of that place isn't it?…it wasn't even a day," the little guy mused as he crossed his little paws.

Eventually the afternoon time I must have arrived in gave into the night, the moon was full and bright, deciding not to go down for now, I traveled across buildings using Puck, creating ice constructs that weren't slippery.

I decided against contracts with Puck, at least not until I actually get my minuscule amount of mana sorted, because a contract with me makes him the equivalent of a level 1 pokemon, while on his own he may as well be a legendary one.

I heard someone humming…quite loudly in fact, from down below, looking to the side, in the suspiciously empty streets of the city—it's weird that I don't see any screens displaying ads on the city skyscrapers—there was legit no car driving tonight.

Down there I saw a guy…wearing a grey turtleneck sweater, carrying a comically large bag with money literally spilling out of a hole little by little as the guy literally cartoonishly tiptoes into a dirty warehouse.

I blinked. I blinked once more to process. I blinked again just to make sure before I rubbed my eyes, "Puck I think I hallucinated again, I just saw something too out of pocket to be real".

"No that was real, I saw it, I doubt that was all his too," Puck chirped out lazily laying on my head very much humored at the sight.

…The fact the suppose criminal made out with all that money, apparently walked all the way here, and no sirens in sight…what the actual fuck?

Like seriously I suspected I was a little bit in the past with how everything looked, but now I am suspecting I am a little in a superhero variant world.

Suddenly a sharp headache breached into my skull, a out of body experience as if I just left my own body and was watching colorful, disorienting scenes that I couldn't make heads or tails of.

---

"I will BRING you hope, old friend. All I ask is, don't get in my way."

---

"We are the future Charles, not them. They no longer matter"

---

"I chose my path; you chose the way of the hero. And they found you amusing for a while, the people of this city. But the one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite everything you've done for them, eventually, they will hate you."

---

"Giving help that's not asked for…is what makes a true hero!"—-"Meddling when you don't need to is the essence of being a hero,"

---

"How did you know you'd be bulletproof?"

"I didn't. I just knew that you weren't."

---

I grunted in pain as I crunched down holding my head, Puck a little worried floated in front of me and used a little Water Magic to try and relief some of the pain.

This was the worst of them all.

It's as if there was a barrier that suddenly burst loose at the trigger and memories and scenes flooded in though it was like every paint and color mashing together and not allowing any one of them to be perfectly seen, only some of the words broke through.

Ding! Established a connection back to the void, if an incredibly weak one, and observed several worlds at once.

Bronze Random Gacha Ticket

[Remy]
|Common Familiar|
Ratatouille - Remy is an unusually smart rat who is a very proficient chef.

I got a rat chef?- no that is not important…Fuck that awful place is following me around? Actually no…it specified Iwent back there.

Fuck that.

"Thanks Puck," I said as the pain left me, grabbing the feline out of the air that looked relieved, now I am annoyed however…I am gonna beat up that criminal and whatever buddies he may have.

"Puck can you get me down? I wanna vent and I have been given a target!" Setting aside I don't have any food or ingredients, it's best for me to just leave Remy in the familiar space until he can actually do his passion.

"Yea, I can do that, want me in "Battle Mode"~ as you call it,"

Considering I named his alt form that, "Yea no, I would rather not cause the winter version of Pompei thank you very much," Not only does it rapidly drain the spirit's reserves, he would eventually have to start taking energy from the surrounding area and literally start eternal winter.

Though from what I recall…Re:Zero was a very small world…it would probably be days to weeks before he made any significant progress to actually freeze the world.

Puck saluted at me as he extended his paws and created a platform of ice that I jumped on that the cat controlled to float down to the ground.

Ok so doing stuff gives rewards equal to difficulty, I have a sharp blade that induces chloroform to my foes, the ability to grab shadows of others, and the power of the rom-com protagonist to woo the lovers…

I instantly looked to Puck who was awaiting instruction, "I just realized, I can't fight shit right now, as soon as I burst in, mind flash freezing everything in there in case of guns?"

He giggled as he hid his mouth with his paws cutely, "Yep! Sure thing! Remind me at some point to at least get started on your magical education~"

"Cool" was my reply, and I was being genuine, that did sound cool, though I wasn't sure if I had a Gate for him to teach me with.

I came up to the door of the warehouse, and with all my strength, kicked it open, while shouting, "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS!"

FWOOOOOOM—KRACK-KRK-KRK—shiiiiiiing

For a good second, I witnessed four guys around a table with the money bag right next to them all startled and were going for their sides, more than likely to their weapons.

Before suddenly, as soon as I blinked, the entire location turned into a white winter wonder land, a rush of cold air with a cracking expansion.

Ding! Defeat a Criminal with a gun!

Silver Random Gacha Ticket!

[XX - Judgement]
|Common Item|
Tarot Card - Allows you to compel someone to tell what they think is the truth without being able to intend to trick you. 120 Hour Cooldown

Ding! Defeat a group of armed criminals before they could do anything!

Gold Random Gacha Ticket!

[Thunder breathing]
|Elite Skill|
Demon Slayer - Thunder Breathing is a specialized swordsmanship style and breathing technique that mimics lightning, specifically swift strikes and movements akin to lightning ripping through the sky, and replicates it with the user's movements, techniques and abilities. Most, if not all, known techniques and forms involve utilizing blinding speeds and immensely fast attacks to overwhelm the enemy in an instant. With magical power, thunder can be manifested to further augment the power of the style.

Ding! Come out of your first fight completely unscathed!

Silver Random Gacha Advantage Ticket!

[Manticore]
|Rare Familiar|
A chimeric creature with the body and head of a lion, tail of a scorpion and the wings of a bat. In addition to their large size and powerful physical abilities, they possess a powerful paralytic venom that can put a white whale into a coma. This one is capable of laying eggs to reproduce asexually.

Or

[Celestial Bronze]
|Uncommon Item|
Percy Jackson - A mythical metal native to Mount Olympus. Celestial Bronze possesses the property of being deadly to any magical or mythical being while being completely harmless to anything mundane, passing through them like it's not even there. You get 3 10kg bars. Restock Timer: 24 Hours

I…almost forgot how powerful Puck is, but now thinking on it he is suppose to be an Epic Ranked Familiar, "…Your really amazing Puck," I said honestly, as the spirit bashfully danced in place in delight, "Ah Gee thanks! Not like what I did was especially all too impressive hehehe,"

Uhhh I have a truth serum in a card that has a long ass cool down, I am suddenly an entirely difference kind of monster with a sword now, and…what's better celestial bronze ingots I don't know how to smelt with or a monster that apparently doesn't need a partner to reproduce…

I'll leave the last one open to think about it.

Dancing around in the mostly empty warehouse with Puck following my lead, I got to the table, with a big ass bag, and simply took it, I kinda wanted and needed the money.

Ding! Acquire 5,000 dollars

Bronze Random Gacha Ticket

[Foxfire]
|Rare Ability|
Allows you to wield Foxfire, the signature of the Kitsune race. Although Foxfire is lower in power than other flames of the same tier, it is capable of being maintained for long periods of time and is capable of changing its shape and texture to create disguises, illusions, and to deceive targets.

Oh sweet how kind- WHAT!

I opened the lightly frosted bag open…and to see a shit ton of 1 dollar and 5 dollar bills…where the fuck did you get that many 1s and 5s I have no fucking idea…ok, still a lot but not as much as I suspected.

Hm? What's this? There was a piece of paper, on the table,…also there was a mention of a gun at least according to Gacha, "Puck you mind undoing the ice on the paper here and their pockets?" I got a thumbs ups from the cat before the two frozen things unfroze.

And would you look at that…a handgun…in my pocket it goes I guess, and the paper…it was English, so that is at least good I am in America-actually the dollars should have given that away anyway.

…It says to meet up with the others in this address…in accordance to…Captain Iron Fist…the fuck- is this actually heroes and villains?

…well I have nothing better to do.

I ended up going for Celestial Bronze, for one thing, it's a divine metal…if a weak one compared to literally any other divine metal in fiction—or at least it feels like it is, supposedly it can hurt gods but they have their own rules, ancient laws and all that—it is still an infinite, if time limited, source of magic metal.

As opposed to Manicores, sure they sound awesome and an army of them was fucking amazing…if you actually think about it, it's actually inconvenient.

Only the original—that I can vaguely feel—gets to go to my familiar space where food and water don't matter, while the descendants of the original manticore would be absolutely loyal, they don't get to go in the space.

Meaning it's literally just growing an army of monsters, that all require food and space…I am not in need of an army currently, nor do I have the funds for it.

At the very least I have Foxfire, apparently less potent than other flames of its rank, but it's versatile with its illusion making and disguises.

So currently I have that equipped to my one ability slot, and on top of actually knowing what the fuck am I doing with the blade, I can effectively use Velvet Sword…if a bit awkwardly since the Thunder Breathing was designed with a katana in mind.

So as I walked around the city, with Puck in spirit form presumably following me around, I grabbed a few snacks with a whole bunch of cash I had stored in my pockets.

Obviously I couldn't take it all with me, not only because it's just a bag ass bag of weight, but the fact how fucking suspicious it would be for me to walk around with that amount of money on me.

So I grabbed myself a hotdog from a stand, got me some actual decent clothing, and got myself an Iphone with basic cellular data.

An iPhone 1

Yep, the newest shit, apparently, I somehow went back to 2007, just in time for it to come out for several months now.

It costed me 500 bucks. I had to go back to the hole I hid the money in and get some extra once I drained the reserve.

Another thing is that I am tired as shit, and yet I was a little on edge on sleeping as of yet, the memory and note of Captain backfister or whatever took a backseat as I chatted my ass to whoever the fuck was willing to listen to me.

The guy at the hotdog stand? Irritated with a twitching eye as I rambled on and on as I put on the condiments.

The lady at the store that gave me the customer service smile as she tried to convince me to buy more and more of the clothing as I talked about the weather and the stench.

Ahh…society~.

It's mostly me getting it out of my system, I needed to speak to people, anyone, the negative feedback meant shit considering I desperately wanted ANY feedback at this current point and time.

"Hey wanna fuck?"

SLAP

…Right that is inappropriate to say out in the open,…the void may have done more damage than I realized…also the fact that like a dumbass I didn't equip Path to Love…and I wasn't in the mood anymore.

Ding! Get rejected and slapped by a girl that you humiliated by asking for sex in a public train!

Bronze Random Gacha Ticket

[Radio Waves]

|Rare Ability|

MHA - Allows you to emit electromagnetic waves that disable and cripple all technology with an interface. With training, you can even fine-tune the waves you send to instead to activate or control electronics.

"FUCK YOU!!!"

…right we also don't scream in public when a voice in your head is mocking you.

…well anyway…So now I was laying in a hotel room, in the bed, as I tried to sort through my thoughts and emotions.

I need to recollect myself, it's ok to not be ok, which is why I need the time to sort myself up, I'd rather get over this crippling trauma and become a proper member of society again…that does vigilante work for shits and giggles.

Remember Mortimer…remember what society is like…Double standards for gender… Influencer logic...Weaponized incompetence…Clout chasing while for some reason playing mind reading games…ah yes…I remember now…

…Once I wake up from this nap, I'm gonna go kick the…I don't know, leader I guess? Leader of the gang that targets 1 or 5 dollar bills.

I'll go find their lair—their address at the very least—in the darkness of night.







"Mayday Mayday! We have a super here!!! A speedster- ACK!"

"Jeffrey! NO! The ice cat got him! He had a hoe waiting for him!!!"

"COLD COLD COLD!"

'What the hell was going on?' Were the thoughts of a tall Caucasian man in a greenish-blue half mask, as he listened to the nonsense his goons were spouting.

Sitting behind his desk, working through the next series of his plans to steal from the various clubs his archrival Cold Pole had running.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

…But considering he is hearing gun shots and so many more shouting coming from the door, he is inclined to believe that at the very least some super-powered individuals are involved.

Annoyed, the man stood up, grabbing his own gun in case his empowered punches wouldn't do it, he hoped that wouldn't be the case, it better not be the case, it was already annoying that Glasya-Labolas do fucker demanded five of his best men.

Stupid Eagle-headed, Griffon, whatever the fuck.

He opened the door that led to a mostly empty warehouse save for a few things for his boys and he managed to nab for a while now.

He would have called it a massacre…if it were not the distinct lack of red of blood, what was more concerning is the snowy ice from blunt point spikes, to small ice walls, to random

looking at the closest goon, there was a distinct red, a two inch wide line going across the face of his knocked drooling guy.

He has been slapped with something, he then heard footsteps walking around the corner of the warehouse that was blocked by a wall and…whistling?

Pin by KaiZen on Rudo in 2025 | Anime drawings boy, Handsome anime, Character design male

Some albino punk in a hoodie walked around the corner with a fancy, purple sword he was twirling in the air. He would have considered him to be some high kid high on power…but there was a flying cat next to his shoulder that was cutely smiling at me. (maliciously?! There was a shiver going down my spine from the look in its eye despite the several meters long distance)

Is he also a contractor?! He took another look at the creature, who he suspected was a familiar…though to be perfectly honest it looked a lot friendly—ignoring how malicious it felt—it felt more along the lines of a heavenly creature, maybe a lesser Cherub than one of Infernal origin.

Actually…he took a look at red markings he could spot on the skin of his goons, that showed at the least, and found that it honestly looked like the kid was non-lethally taking them down with the side of the blade…

Ah so a wanna be hero, he should be able to handle it at the very least, he could handle a little bit of speed and ice as he heard his minions say-

Captain Iron Fist was now annoyed, "Boy…you come into my lair, knock out my boys, and you have the gall to look boredly at me?!" Indeed the kid looked at him like he was his latest lunch.

"Before I break your neck, at the very least tell me, what angelic figure of Shem HaMephorash did you make an oath with?" He was annoyed, not only were the literal opposing force of the Goetia and their deals were incredibly find information on, but knowing angels it's probably stupidly hard to make a properly powerful deal with one with how pacifistic they were…though had less of an unfortunate cost that the haughty birds of hell typically required.

The kid looked at me as if I was dumb, before raising a bewildered eyebrow at me, "The fuck you talking about…angels?…ah whatever…I'll just take you out as well," he then shrugged.

"…YOU FUCKER ILL SHOW YOU TO SHOW SOME RESPECT!-" OHMYFUCKINGGODISHEFAST-

And in a blink of an eye, as he screamed in anger, the boy some teenager, maybe a young adult, got into a lunge position with his sword pointing behind him…before suddenly he was right in front of me-

He was hit right in the face, with a force that was rattling my head and flesh…fuck,..he didn't didn't even have the time to use his magically enhanced strength that the Earl has given him-

"Welp…he fell down easy," and the last thing Captain Iron Fist heard was, "I am the Thunderous Asskicker- fuck! No that sounds lame"







That…was rather disappointing, I tracked down the warehouse they were using after I woke up after a several hour nap…

And then proceeded to utilize my ability to use Total Concentration Breathing, which on its own made me as fast as somewhat around sound, so with a little help with Puck who blocked the bullets that they were shooting at random, while making them slip, I basically went around slapping a whole bunch of them asleep.

Ding! You have defeated a gang all on your own, on top of that with no deaths

Gold Random Advantage Gacha Ticket

[Mysticism]

|Rare Trait|

Your energy reserves and recovery speeds are beyond the norm. Allowing you to use abilities and spells for longer.

Or

[Dimensional Lock]

|Rare Ability|

Allows you to dimensional lock an area, preventing the use of spacetime-based abilities like teleportation, portals or time travel inside of the zone you locked. The larger the area the higher the energy consumption. Powerful enough targets may be able to break the lock.

FUCK!…THIS WAS ACTUALLY A HARD CHOICE! He so wanted the magic trait, but the total ability to say no to time-space shenanigans—which are typically incredibly BROKEN—is…just so fucking tempting.

Ding! Defeated Captain Iron Fist, rather effortlessly I may add!

Gold Random Gacha Ticket

[Lovers]

|Rare Trait|

You are better at understanding others and expressing your own feelings through speech or words, making yourself understood better. For all intents and purposes, this is essentially talent in communication.

+1 Ability Slot

WHAT THE FUCK- WHERE WERE YOU EARLIER TODAY-?!?

…Oh my fucking god, I was a fucking idiot, the memory of my behavior earlier today will now forever haunt me…

(There WAS gonna be a whole fight scene for this…but it's kinda pointless now, having a good sword and skill with Thunder Breathing means he steam rolls most of earth lol)

While…it was unbelievably hurtful, I ended up going for Dimensional Lock, simply being able to stop the typical high tier shit just by being present…was a must in comparison to a trait that made it easier to do magic like a lot of other things in the gacha.

And with that I was able to select two abilities to select at a time…obviously I was keeping Foxfire, but as for the other…Radio Waves sounds the most useful at the moment right now.

After basically manhandling every one of the gang asses, including their big boss, I kinda speed blitz every one of them, hopefully they remain unconscious…and I didn't hit them hard enough to cause brain damage.

"Well we made quick work of them," Puck cheerfully bragged, seeming a lot more relaxed than how he was now that I can actually feasibly fight.

Well no, more accurately now I can dominate.

I on the other hand pouted while I was sitting in a squat, "All of them are weak though…how am I supposed to get more tickets if they are all weak like that…"

It was obvious how it was going to go, it was very doubtful the gacha that attached itself to me is actually gonna allow previous accomplishments to repeat.

I swiftly stood up from my crouched position, "Now for the loot!" As I walked past all of the sleeping bodies on the floor and through the door that the "boss" came right out of.

Immediately Puck zeroed in on a certain wall with narrowed eyes, while I went off to the desk,…nothing of note, money, money, more money, with some numbers and addresses that I didn't really know where they lead.

"There's something pretty foul on the mystical side behind the wall, Mort," Puck warned as he warily flew closer to the wall.

Oh? We doing nicknames little buddie? Fair enough.

I walked up to the wall, I examined it from the front and the sides, trying to see if there is something that reveals an opening.

Nothing, not even a crack of air, so I took out my sword after getting bored in a minute, and just gave a good ole slash in the general vicinity that Puck mentioned.

The brown wallpaper was instantly slashed…alongside the knob-less door behind it as the lower half collapsed.

Pick deadpanned at what I did with a smile, "I guess that is one way to get in" I snorted in amusement, as I pushed the still hinged upper portion of the door.

What I saw…was quite creepy, a red circle on the floor that looked suspiciously like blood, fresh at that, candles that burned a lighter red, the sheets of symbols of all kinds- it was red, there was a lot of red in the room, oh my god was there so much bloody red.

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My nose scrunched up at the heavy smell of copper, the fact that the door was hidden behind wallpaper…the guy either literally just did it and got out with no bodies, or something fishy was going on.

Also, now that I was deeper in the room…the blood circle was apparently written in a specific manner,…one that matched the book on the small altar table.

https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/sigil-marbas-goetia-demon-260nw-1705918282.jpg

Marbas?

…oh my fucking god, was that guy back there talking to me about shaking hands with angels an actually a bonafide satanist?

"How lovely," Puck sarcastically stated as he observed the disturbing room making sure to stay near me, in case of anything malicious or generally lethal.

Careful not to step on the blood circle, I walked up to the book,…well it definitely had the same circle drawn as the one on the floor…it also was crusty and old and shit, I felt like I had to be very careful with what I was doing with it.

…Also it was written in a language that may as well be chicken scratches, stereotypically wise it was most likely Latin if I had to fucking guess.

It also had a bookmark…it was also filled with chicken scratches…the circle thankfully had English letters for whatever reason…considering how Marbas was spelled with the first letter starting from 12:00 and going clockwise…the name was Glasyalabolas…is that a name?

What an utter mouthful of a name.

Pick came floating in between me and the book in my hands as he curiously scanned the pages, "So what is this? It seems ancient, smells like something that was covered in dust…and blood, for a very long time".

I kept flipping the pages— carefully—taking a look over presently seventy-two circles of the Goetia, he wasn't too sure, most of his memories of demon names came from Fate Grand Order and DxD.

"Demon Royalty, they typically specialize in something or other, but all of these are supposed to summon them and they can teach you shit if you do it correctly," not taking my eyes off the book

"…Oh," was all Puck said, "…it may be wise to leave it here and leave Mortimer".

I sighed, as I reached the page that had Baal as the demon, "You're probably right-" I was cut off as suddenly a Ding went off in my mind.

Ding! You have located a conjuror's copy of the Lesser Key of Solomon, even if it is missing a vast collection of miscellaneous knowledge and warnings.

Wha-

Gold Random Gacha Ticket

Hold up! this thing is LEGIT?!

[Tough Claws]
|Uncommon Trait|
Your claws are exceptionally sharp and durable, more than they should be, all claw-based attacks and abilities are stronger, and you can turn your nails into simple claws whenever.

Oh…this is actually decently useful I guess, in case I don't immediately have Velvet Sword on hand…I'm sensing a theme, am I slowly becoming a fox boy? Foxfire and now Tough Claws are kinda suggesting that.

With a hint of curiosity, I have already placed the book down as I test my new found ability to bring in and out my claws.

To be completely honest this was cooler than having a sword for reasons I cannot naturally explain other than its purely feelings.

"Alright then, let's get out-" just as I turned around to get out of the room, only to accidently step on the circle that just lit up…shiiiiit.

It started glowing, the candles and lights behind, to my sides, and above me were flickering and struggling to exist.

A sort of wind began to pick up despite being indoor, the room that already looked like it had a red filter on somehow got even more crimson than before.

Puck immediately summoned several chunks of pointy ended ice pointing directly at the circle that had been gathering a…rather sinister kind of energy that my inexperienced ass can feel, the icicles surrounding it all directions.

Suddenly, as if climbing out of the ground like it was a pit itself and not a painted circle of blood of an intricate design, a clawed paw could be seen.

Demonic Lion Creature: Wolgaron

That…is a big ass Lion, one that could barely fit in this room, a lion that pulled itself out of the circle while glaring at me with its seemingly-glowing, red eyes.

Decorated with metal-based accessories with an occasional gem as numerous sets of metallic horns grew out of its skull.

"I come forth from this circle of binding on thy request, o' foolish conjuror, who has called upon President Marbas of Mechanical Arts and Crafts of the Ars Goetia, what is thy urge to supplicate towards myself"

It was strange to hear words come out of a lion's mouth, it didn't seem to care that it was surrounded by icicles, it was rough, it was heavy, I could feel some sort of authority and regalness to how he spoke.

I could see that Puck's hair was standing on end…but not necessarily scared, though he kept glancing back at me.

While I just stared dumbly at the demon, "…good evening President Marbas," I started, Lovers already doing the work, since I more than likely would have started it with a "…Hi," and wouldn't that be awkward.

The lion, Marbas as he—I am assuming he—is called, remained silent, as if waiting for something, it was hard to make out the expression of a lion, but I was getting the impression he was giving me his equivalent of the look "get on with it,"

"…I am gonna be completely honest, my companion and I stumbled upon this room after dealing with the…I assume now cultist,…your summoning…was purely accidental," I tried to be cordial, pushing my trait for communications to the limit, "…is this…if you would forgive me for asking…your usual form?"

He stared at me, I could have sworn I saw his eye twitch, before he gave me a big sigh as if he was tired of this shit, "Fine…call off your cat too," the voice now completely sounded normal, like something I might hear from heavy smoker that already had a bass-singing voice.

His form shifted to a warping mass of red and black energy, while I took Puck in my hands and asked him to calm down for a moment.

Worse comes to worse, he slows him down with the cold, while I run the fuck away with my skill over Thunder Breathing.

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He…ok, he may have been technically smaller, except he was definitely taller, his mane was all over the place making him seem even bigger than he was. His tail flickering from behind in irritation that I could spot.

"Listen human, I am aware that your puny mind may have a hard time understanding this, but even as a lower rank amongst the Goetia, am incredibly busy, considering all the armaments the rest of nobility demand me to build and progress!" He began now sounding so much more like a grouch you may find in a bar drinking as he looked down at me—literally—with his intense eyes.

"So let's skip the formality, I will even humor you to an extent considering, even by accident, I don't spot any salt that for whatever Lucifer-damn reason you mortals seem to believe I CAN'T STEP OVER," oh note to self, salt does not in fact work with demon circles…if I ever decide to do such a thing as summoning a demon…

Actually it was more likely now considering he was…acting a lot more human than I ever expected from a creature of darkness and sin.

"So what pray tell, in exchange for your soul or for your ritual sacrifices," his eyes rolled at that one, "do you want my services for,".

…

…I mean if he was already here, and…considering he said Mechanical Arts are his thing…not like I was gonna use the metal for anything just yet, "…if I give you a metal you have not ever seen before, would that work instead?".

He looked at me unimpressed, before he crossed his thick, furry arms, "for one I haven't seen before? Sure, whatever, go on…impress me," and awaited with half closed eyes.

…Welp, here goes nothing, I am going to hope this ISN'T the Percy Jackson universe…if it was chances are he has seen it before…backplan may be a go, I was already emotionally signaling Puck to be at the ready as I pulled out the three Celestial Bronze ingots.

Pulling them out, the Marbas snarled angrily at me, as he came up close and grabbed one of the Ingots, "YOU THINK ME A FOOL HUMAN?! TO HAVE NEVER SEEN BRONZE…before?," he seemed to be on the verge of going full on demonic, before he actually took a good look at the supposed bronze.

The previously angry look the Lion man had paused, before falling to neutral, to then blinking, he relaxed and straightened up while Puck—who once more got spooked—was radiating magic.

The Lion examined the metal with a close eye, flipping it over on all sides, he even took a bite of it, or at least he bit into it like how some people might test if the coin they were given were real, before he looked befuddled at it.

"…Alright…what the fuck am I looking at," a very much befuddled Marbas finally said, "It's not holy, but it definitely has some sort of…divine feeling to it, it's like an upgraded bronze…and it's actually while I am in contact with it to solidifying my form far more than I am intending to…,"

"Celestial Bronze…a metal that…my magic I suppose, acquires from beyond the void," I was being vague, but truthful, who knows, these guys may be able to sense lies or have lived long enough to spit them anyway.

Marbas didn't look like he was completely listening to me as he chose to try and scratch the metal and it proved to be more difficult than he imagined.

"…Very Well, this is a curious thing, human, …the three will be acceptable payment," now that it seemed like his time wouldn't be wasted, Marbas was not more relaxed.

"A request for each bar," was my immediate response as soon as I saw that he was indeed interested, this was an opportunity I should not miss! while Puck was looking at me as if I had gone completely insane.

Marbas' eye twitched, "…You're pushing your luck, human, this is a dangerous game you are playing," but the fact that was all he said told me he wasn't outright denying it.

"I'm aware, but I also know that there isn't a metal like it anywhere else in the world! I know my worth! Take them all, or as many as you are willing to give me favors for, but this is the price I am setting!" Was it smart that I was bargaining from a demon? Fuck no, but I sure as hell will when I see the opportunity, Lovers guiding me through hints on speech and movement on the conversation.

Marbas closed his eyes in annoyance, grumbling under his breath, the way he was casually shaking the metal his anthropomorphic paw was curled around the metal, he was literally weighing it.

"Fine!…I'll take all three…speak clearly what you want before I lose my patience," he gave in as he looked down at me with glowing red eyes.

"Information! Mostly the structure of how hell works and how important things you believe I may need to know!" This was important, I can't just be stumbling blindly into this, who knows what the fuck is true or not, the salt was implied to be useless, was True Names a thing?

"Done" he stared at me with no real thought behind it, or it was just information he didn't consider important enough to consider.

Was it that common of a knowledge in this word? To be completely honest before today I was under the impression this was a normal world.

"Magic!…I want to learn some spells, considering I just stumbled upon all this," this time it seemed a little unreasonable as the lion man pinched his nose and closed his eyes.

"I don't have the time to play teacher to a warlock or cultist…I'll give you enough power to at least be at the level of average human mage of demonic lineage," fair enough! That is good enough for me for now.

"The last-…" words didn't come out of my mouth, as I realized I didn't really have a third desire to fulfill at the moment, the Marbas slowly blinked at me as he awaited me to finish.

"…Can I cash it in at a later date as a favor?" I sheepishly asked while Marbas and Puck deadpanned at me, while I held my awkward smile.

The demon rolled his eyes, before extending his free paw towards me, his appendage now glowing blue, "Is that a deal? Information on Hell, Enhanced Magical Potential, and a Favor in exchange for the three ingots of your metal" I thought about it for a moment…before I shook it.

The room shook, the cracks over the walls and floor formed, the wind violently blew to the point I had to close my eyes, before it all calmed down.

By the time I could see again, I realized Marbas had already walked past me and into the chair that gang boss man probably used, "Let's get this over with, we have a lot to cover over the structure of Hell,"

Cool Beans! I smirked in excitement…before the mother of all headaches came through.

Ding! You have successfully conjured a creature!

Silver Random Gacha Advantage Ticket

[Cloak of Bellowing]
|Trash Item|
DnD - A fancy embroidered red cloak that can bellow majestically even in the absence of wind.

Or

[Cheer]
|Rare Skill|
You have a natural knack for giving motivation and cheering people up. You have a feel for what words someone wants to hear right now and what to do to cheer them up or get them out of a slump. You'd also be one hell of a cheerleader.

Ding! Crossed upon a Supernatural Entity for the first time!

Golden Random Gacha Ticket

[Holy Light]
|Rare Ability|
Holy Light allows you to conjure and shape Holy Light, often used by Angels. Allowing you to unleash it as balls of light, energy blasts or blades of light, when used against Infernal, Unholy, or Necrotic targets, the Holy Light will set them alight with holy flames, but against targets outside of that range, it does significantly less damage. (A/N: Holy Light is NOT light speed despite the name)

(AN: AAAAAND Suddenly, your the single most dangerous shit in pentagram city when you arrive)

Ding! You have successfully (accidently) Conjured an Ars Goetic Demon!

Gold Random Gacha Ticket

[Natural Armory]
|Rare Ability|
Allows you to turn objects you are touching into cold weapons that are stable in form regardless of their original matter. Like a solid scythe out of water, a spear out of stone, a sword of air, a whip of fire. The world around you is your armory.

Ding! Genuinely impressed Marbas with something he had never seen before!

Gold Random Gacha Ticket

[Infernal Chains]
|Rare Ability|
You are able to conjure infernal barbed chains that can bind or be used as weapons by you.

Ding! Struck a deal with a High-Level Demon and came out with the one that benefitted the most!

Platinum Random Gacha Advantage Ticket

[Vacuum]
|Elite Ability|
Allows you to create vacuums and control them in your sensory range allowing you to pull things in and cause implosions. The more powerful a vacuum is the more energy it expends.

Or

[Expert Stealth]
|Elite Skill|
You are an expert in the way of stealth, you know how to move like a ghost, silently, blend into your surroundings and swim with the shadows. You could sneak into a military base and no soul would know you were there. You could stalk an owl through a forest while wearing a high-visibility jacket. You are up there with the greatest assassins.

Oh my fucking god…I immediately took Cheer and Expert Steath.

"Human…stop gawking and get your ass over here!!"

(AN: fun fact, I rolled to see who Iron Fist had as his next demon prepared to summon…and I got Marbas )

I sat down at the chair on the opposite side of the desk that Marbas was sitting behind, Puck on my lap as tenderly scratched behind his ears, relaxing him to an extent.

Remembering the fact I had an incredibly useful item for this situation, I pulled out [XX - Judgement] a card I can use every 5 days to compel the target to tell the truth…it doesn't say duration so presumably until the conversation is over.

Marbas raised his eyebrow at the fact that he could probably sense the item in my hands is special in one way or another.

"And what would this curious thing be?"

"From what I can understand, and hopefully you will not mind, when I deploy the card it will ensure the target in mind cannot lie or mislead me," Once more, Lovers and my gut dictated it would probably be better to be upfront.

Marbas blinked, before humming to himself, "…I am not sure if I should be offended or not…no, in fact I will applaud you that you won't just take my word for granted, even if it is a waste to use it on information you could have pulled from any Sinner you may have been able to hear through".

Willing the Judgement to activate, it glowed a golden light as it dissipated into dust as the glow now surrounded the Are Goetia, who did not seem at all wary at the strange magic I was pulling out.

I suppose it should have been obvious…they probably see all humans beneath them, at least the demon royalty do.

"Hm…now that you have had that sorted…I suppose I will start from the Lowest Imp and Hellhound-" and proceeded to go into an in depth explanation of hell.

Starting from the fact that each of the deadly sins created a race of Hellborns that typically resided in their birth ring…though Sinners weren't Lucifer's even if they are stuck there, instead he directly created the original Ars Goetia.

Succubus/Incubus's from Asmodeus in Lust, Imps from Satan in Wrath, Hellhounds by Queen Beezlebub—apparently— in Gouttony, and so on.

Apparently Satan and Lucifer are two different people, one a fallen angel and the single most powerful being in Hell, and then Satan who is the most powerful demon in hell.

He briefly went through the typical do and do nots of how conjuring a demon should look like, how true names aren't typically a thing, how some demons like the princes may honestly enjoy cake as an offering than blood and gore.

The Hierarchy in Hell was such, from Imps and Hellhounds, followed by the rest of the Hellborns, followed by the Sinner—They were apparently what became of the human souls that weren't worthy of heaven—followed by the Overlords who enslaved enough of Sinners, and then by the Ars Goetia, who were as far as I am guessing—don't tell Marbas—are middle managers who do important work but are there to mostly help run Hell.

Then the Seven Deadly Sins, and then as such the royal families.

I wasn't sure how to feel about the fact there was a von Eldritch family casually existing somewhere down under—literally—but what I was more interested in was the fact that the Devil actually had a full on family going on.

"King Lucifer Morningstar naturally sits at the pinnacle of rankings, both socially and power, alongside his Wife, Queen Lilith Morningstar—who is as powerful as second to Lucifer—alongside their daughter, Charlotte Morningstar," While Marva's was blankly explaining all this, he was messing around with the ingots from physical to mystically.

As soon as he said that name, a sharp pain in the back of my mind came barreling in just like the first day I accidentally established a connection to the Void.

Suddenly I was watching a long long scene that was similar to watching a movie or a show stuck on fast forward, it was hard to see but I was consistently surrounded by creatures that wouldn't be out of place in Hotel Transylvania.

But the focus, was a tall—and oh man was she actually tall for a girl, 6'6 is no joke—red-tuxedo, admittedly pretty lady, who looked incredibly pale and…seemingly always bubbly, steadily the vision became faster and faster, the already bad reception only became worse as everything blurred, a sound, a word being repeated endlessly said…

"…Charlie?" I ended up saying it out loud, as the demon zeroed in on me as I spoke with glowing eyes, but now I had his full, undivided attention.

His expression was blank, the lion intensely staring at me…a question that he was clearly asking that he wanted an answer to…becuase it just clicked in my head that he spoke of her official name as Charlotte…and not by her preferred nickname Charlie.

"…Recently I have been receiving strange visions, this was my second time, and it seems to be triggered at random when I am musing over a specific concept or just now a name," Puck was glaring at the demon, daring him to do anything as his tail slowly swayed from one side to the other.

Marba's calmed down, "…a seer?…you are more interesting than I imagined contractor"

Ding! Gained a substantial Need-to-Know knowledge of the universe!

Silver Random Gacha Ticket

[Novice Item Construction]

|Uncommon Skill|

You know how to create minor enchanted and special items, not anything that can be called a proper item but things like a plate that heats itself up or a mask that purifies air are possible as long as you have the proper knowledge base.

Neat

---

"Numb, Numb, Numb," were the sounds of delight coming from Puck as he took up a spoon and dug into the cake that was readily prepared, "…Mortimer, just so you know, I am still upset with how reckless you were," Puck narrowed—pouted—at me as he stopped eating his deserved treat and tried to maintain the fact that he was still angry despite five hours have already passed by since the lion left.

I mimed getting stabbed at the heart as I stared at my left shoulder, where a certain rat that stood on his hind legs had his arms crossed as he looked satisfied at the fact the cat was digging into his directed meal.

Me and Remy exchanged a fist bump at our cooking—scratch that Remy's cooking, and me following along to his every instruction—and the effort we put in.

Deciding I wanted to treat my stressed out cat, I finally pulled Remy from the familiar storage, and went straight into the super market to buy the best ingredients my rat friend found good enough.

It was a strange sight I was sure, me walking into a store with Puck on my right shoulder and Remy on the Left, as the people paused and looked at me as I walked past.

Remy was a good bean, cooking was his shtick, his jam, his bread and butter, "squeak-tsk-tat-chi-chachisquee," I may not verbally understand him, but we got each other, and that was good enough as we walked around the store.

Though I tried to ignore how awkward it was when the staring increased when I brought the tomatoes and onions, and later the spices, up to Remy's nose until we found in his opinion the perfect one!

It was a couple hundred, but I also in the end got a few pans and plates for the warehouse we were using, which apparently had a kitchen.

Remy, my little chef, fully satisfied that Puck enjoyed his sugar rush of a cake that we decided to make today, ran down my arm, unto the table, to his own plate of cake and started digging in.

This was a nice break…just the three of us, a sapient rat, spirit cat, and a human with a voice in his head, sitting on a table, eating cake.

Hopefully it will remain peaceful a whole while longer.