• An addendum to Rule 3 regarding fan-translated works of things such as Web Novels has been made. Please see here for details.
  • We've issued a clarification on our policy on AI-generated work.
  • Our mod selection process has completed. Please welcome our new moderators.
  • The regular administrative staff are taking a vacation, and in the meantime, Biigoh is taking over. See here for more information.
  • Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
  • For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
  • Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
  • Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
  • The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.

Everlong (MHA/Celestial Mutation)

Reader mode
I think the issue was that the story leaned way too hard into crack instead of crack treated seriously. Maybe have Toji's "real" quirk be the social link system from Persona but without a limit on the bonds he can have. This will encourage him to go out and meet people in the cast. He can start with Diagnosis and Somnambulist as a gift from ROB, but everything else he has to earn by getting to social link 5/10.

Nezu: (After many many meeting) So will you come to UA?
Toji: You know what, you don't seem like such a bad guy, er bear mouse. However, I'm only going to the support course!
*Congrats, on trusting another and receiving their trust in turn. As a reward you have received all the programming knowledge that has ever been known on this planet. Perfect for supporting you allies!*
Toji: Excuse me one moment.
*Slams head into desk*
 
hacks said:
I'd be cool to see a rewrite I'd honestly hope for less crack tho
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
John123456789 said:
I think the issue was that the story leaned way too hard into crack instead of crack treated seriously.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
hacks said:
I'd be cool to see a rewrite I'd honestly hope for less crack tho
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I had similar thoughts on the level of crack as well and if I do rewrite it the new version is probably gonna be closer to Ode to The Mets, where it's a really out of touch MC in a world they are constantly getting baffled and alarmed by it. Except instead of pretending he has his shit together Toji very openly doesn't have his shit together in the slightest. A lot of things I introduce are genuinely super interesting and I just do not use them at all. Toji now lives in a world where "person" has replaced "human" in daily lexicon and the only thing he has to say to the absolute insanity that is anyone looking like anything is "well that sure is fucking wacky and weird".

There are so many ways I could've played that. Toji could've gotten social anxiety as a result. Maybe he accidentally comes off as a bigot for being less inclined to interact with mutants. There could've been a budding character trait where he actually prefers to interact with mutants because he thinks they're super interesting. Maybe even Toji gets extreme uncanny valley from the "regular" people because they're bit just slightly off enough to not look "human". There are so many ways I could've played it and I just went "lol, welp" and walked off. And that's just a single minor example.
 
Hope you rewrite this it's great despite it's crack lol also don't have a clue about the names of the abilities Toji had the only ones l liked were the eyes and how he could turn his body parts into a a cable pr something to deactivate someone Quirk
 
every power gotten in every chapter New
King Yama said:
Hope you rewrite this it's great despite it's crack lol also don't have a clue about the names of the abilities Toji had the only ones l liked were the eyes and how he could turn his body parts into a a cable pr something to deactivate someone Quirk
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Chapter 1 Powers:

Diagnosis
200 CP

This Quirk can be used to give the user incredible amounts of varied and specific knowledge on the body of those visually observed. With this power, the user is able to get precise measurements of all kinds, age, medical conditions, broken bones, birth marks and more. The longer the user continues to observe a target, the more details they are able to learn, almost endlessly. Useful for locating enemy weaknesses or applying medical treatment in equal parts. The user must continue observing for additional details and observe a target in person. Collected details through this Quirk can be remembered incredibly well.

Source: My Hero Academia, Category: mutation​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Mint Green Star. Additional mercury coloration.
Somnambulist
200 CP

The quirk user is able to produce a highly potent, sleep-inducing aroma from their body on command that can quickly propagate through an area. Even highly aggressive individuals may soon lose consciousness upon getting a wiff of it. The sleep inducing aroma does have the weakness of enemies needing to actually breath it in for it to work, meaning those who can avoid doing so will remain unaffected. The aroma is more effective against the opposite gender compared to the same gender of the quirk user.

Source: My Hero Academia, Category: mutation​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Lilac Star.

Chapter 2 Powers:

Forced Activation
200 CP
This Quirk gives the user the ability to manifest branching black spears with a circuit pattern from their body to harmlessly jack in to a target's body. Once connected, the user is able to forcefully activate and control the victim's Quirk as desired. This can be used to turn enemies on their allies, gain the aid of unconscious allies of your own or directing the quirk of another in a way beneficial to the user such as forcing a captive with a unique Quirk to go along with demands. The branching spears of this Quirk aren't the most powerful, durable or fast things around and as such it's highly difficult to make use of them on a resisting target. If the user has no idea what the target's Quirk is or how it works, they can't use their Quirk nearly as well.
Source: My Hero Academia, Category: mutation​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Black Star. Additional dark purple coloration.
The Purple
300 CP
The Quirk user is able to spread a bizarre electromagnetic field through inanimate objects that alters their physical properties. Objects affected become a vibrant purple color as long as the Quirk's effect is ongoing. The visual representation of the Quirk's effects transmits signals into the brains of living creatures observing affected objects, making the object hard to ignore or shift attention off of. Objects and materials affected also gain a kind of super-tangibility that causes them to express themselves on their surroundings to a greater extent. A playing card under this Quirk's effects would behave as if stronger than steel, as one example. The Quirk user is able to interact with affected objects as normal, leaving gloves to remain flexible on their hands, for instance. The Quirk user may passively leave objects affected, but may only spread this field out to so much at any given time. This Quirk will automatically spread to any inanimate object in contact with the Quirk user over prolonged periods of time, if applicable, such as clothing worn throughout the day.
Source: My Hero Academia, Category: mutation​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Neon-Purple Star.
Programming and Computer Science
200 CP
Supercomputers are your bread and butter, and Artificial Intelligence is your idea of a PDA. Data, programs, and digital devices are your playthings, not to mention that your understanding of such systems mean you can hack anything that could possibly be hacked. There isn't really any limit on the extent you could push computing hardware, and any kind of software you can imagine is within your grasp. Please do note that flaunting this is likely to attract some attention from a few major players in particular. Then again that might not be a bad thing depending on your disposition and plans.
Source: Worm, Category: mutation​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Dull Metallic Star.


Chapter 3 Powers:

Boogie Manimal
200 CP
You are able to produce a strange fog like substance which you can then shape into creatures, their natures being limited only by your imagination and how you craft them. These are under your mental control, and you can sense everything they do. The more of the fog you invest into a creature, and the longer you take in its creation, the stronger and more powerful it will be. Creatures may have certain abilities of their own based on how you've made them, and at any time you may invest more fog into them to modify or strengthen them further, with no (in theory if maybe not so much in practice) upper limit. Creatures default to a completely loyal if predatory mentality unless you make them otherwise. The fog itself is mostly transparent to you and your creations until used in a creation, and can be pumped out to cover large areas.
Source: Worm, Category: mutation​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Lilac Sun.


Chapter 4 Powers:


Quantum Evolution

200 CP

Your body exists in a perpetual state of quantum uncertainty, and suddenly warps and evolves based on the stimulus around you to better fit your needs and desires, primarily survival. Falling off a building would result in you growing wings, bullets find themselves flattening on bio-armor that wasn't there when the weapon was fired, and strikes in combat will find natural weaponry perfectly suited to their target shaped by the time they land. The nature of this power means you can casually switch back to your base form, and regenerate at high speeds. Retaining a change will result in its constant refinement and enhancement, the effort and energy that would be spent on adapting instead being constantly funneled into improvement. Issues like muscle memory and being unused to your forms changes aren't a problem, you are able to use them instinctively. You can exert conscious control over your power's changes, either total or simply guiding it in your preferred directions. Your power can evolve anything physically possible for a biological system, although its an admittedly generous definition. Your power is a lot like Crawler's, you're just not permanently mutated. You do not possess a core, relying instead on your regeneration and adaptation, though you'll never suffer negative effects from needing to regenerate your brain or similar issues. Too much of you being destroyed or damaged at once can still end in your death if you're not careful.

Source: Worm, Category: mutation
​
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Mint Sun.


Woops, I guess I forgot to port over the power list that cleanly explained exactly what every power's name was, the color associated with them, and their exact description in the celestial mutagen catalog. Well, I guess several hours after I cancelled the story is better than never...
 
Hey now that's cool and all but how about an update in either this reboot story or Hephaestus
 
MOAR DRUGS MOAR CRACK *headesk face first into a pile of cocaine*/jk
 
RIP, Everlong; you will stay forever beloved.

(Anyways I enjoyed the AFO/OFA-related misunderstandings, All Might feeling guilty over the events of FNaF, and Zen's everything)

I honestly just want to see Zen forcing himself and Tomura to play "Yoichi's" "game" and pretend that it's comprehensible and functional.

(Also the fact that Toji might just go along with Zen's claims about his Yoichi-hood, on account of them being consistent with what little memories he has, and the fact that Toji may or may not be someone's brother, gives off big Brain Business energy, with the whole "ambiguous relationship and friendly apathy" thing he has going on)

I know that you say that you'll probably end up only bringing in AFO later on, but I really like what's going on with him and his maybe-brother.

If you had to have another point for this fic to start, I would either pick before the big battle that injured AFO and All Might, or at some point after Izuku's made contact with the Vestiges. Though, that's a matter of me personally really wanting to get into the Shigaraki Family Drama, rather than anything you might be more interested in.

More realistically, during Work Studies with Stain and such might be a good time for Toji to be rescued, because it's a natural point I think kind of, or maybe right after the entrance exams, so there's a moral dilemma thing going on, or right after Izuku learns about the origin story of One For All, or maybe shortly after Bakugo's rescued? I suppose that aside from the entrance exams moral dilemma, this is just throwing Toji into some more room for misunderstandings related to his maybe-heritage, but I have this immense preference towards that, so if left to my own devices, without reference point, I would choose points in time to optimize this kind of thing.
 
Reader mode
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

  • ... and 1 more.
    • Total: 8 (members: 4, guests: 4)
    Back
    Top