• An addendum to Rule 3 regarding fan-translated works of things such as Web Novels has been made. Please see here for details.
  • We've issued a clarification on our policy on AI-generated work.
  • Our mod selection process has completed. Please welcome our new moderators.
  • The regular administrative staff are taking a vacation, and in the meantime, Biigoh is taking over. See here for more information.
  • Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
  • For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
  • Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
  • Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
  • The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.

On a Pale Horse (Umamusume/Youjo Senki)

Reader mode
drbilljoe said:
She's gonna be the LeBron of horse racing. Some Umamusume has already been born that's going to race her in the future.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I think that while this is a great way to describe her, a baseball player is better. I don't know any good baseball players, but the combination of longevity and some grinded out wins fits better with baseball. LeBron is someone who redefined what the best in the sport truly is, and while I think Shirogane is good, I do not think that unless she truly grows into racing with all her heart she will be as defining as LeBron.
 
Green Syn said:
I think that while this is a great way to describe her, a baseball player is better. I don't know any good baseball players, but the combination of longevity and some grinded out wins fits better with baseball. LeBron is someone who redefined what the best in the sport truly is, and while I think Shirogane is good, I do not think that unless she truly grows into racing with all her heart she will be as defining as LeBron.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Why do you have to compare Shirogane to LeBALCO?

That's a low blow, man. Shirogane doesn't deserve that.
 
WrandmWaffles said:
Stay Gold on the other hand is the rich guy shirking responsibility by gambling.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
We love our divorced father of 5 in this house and will accept no slander.

But yeah the Gold's make sense as an established racing family on par with Mejiro or Symboli.

Stego being interested in ShiroTanya earlier and knowing Stego does in fact remember being a horse opens up a lot of possible interactions that could be fun. And Stego running the Overseas Racing Commitee would be an interesting way to link her to more Polish stuff getting into the story.
 
Rexmaster1 said:
I'm only saying this because I find it interesting, as a concept, a rivalry inspired by hatred rather than friendly competitiveness.

Shirogane is, in many ways, a subversion of the typical Uma Musume protagonist (Special Week, Kitasan Black, and Narita Top Road), that is, friendly, competitive, social girls, and above all, highly motivated by running and completely immersed in the Uma running culture.

Meanwhile, Shirogane is aloof, serious, and only interested in running for financial gain, not because she wants to make friends or has any particular dream.

That's why I thought a protagonist as "different" as Shirogane should have relationships that differ from the average. More specifically, of the type: If it weren't illegal and there were witnesses, they would both legitimately try to kill each other.

The Uma Musume franchise practically romanticizes the concept of rivalry. It idealizes it as someone to grow alongside and compete with to be better, obviously always with friendly and almost homoerotic undertones.

I imagine other characters reacting to Shirogane winning a rivalry and saying, "Oh great, Shiro's finally becoming more normal," assuming it's a typical Uma rivalry like Daiwa and Vodka, or McQueen and Teio, etc.

But no. Shirogane and Mary Sue are definitely NOT friends. They DON'T want to see each other grow. And above all, they DON'T want to lose and be "less" than the other.

Imagine Agnes Digital trying to ship them, thinking they have a rivalry with yuri subtext, just the kind she likes, but then being horrified to realize that their arguments and confrontations have no romantic tension, just pure, raw HATE for each other's guts.

Although, to be honest, I understand why many people dislike Mary Sue. It means she's very good at fulfilling her purpose because she's clearly made to be hated. In many fanfics she is treated more as an OP superpowerful obstacle to the plot than a true character in her own right, that is, an Anti-Tanya.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

The idea of Shirogane meeting Uma! Mary Souix at like, the Japan Cup or Champions cup and they both have a mutual Whitney Chewston moment, but both have mellowed out over their lives as Umamusume and decided on the path of "I wish this bitch would start something so I would have an excuse, but I'M not the one whose going to start an international incident over it" would be funny, especially if they run into each other at both and Mary tries to bait Shirogane into making the first mistake. Digitan sees from a distance and thinks it's finally Yuri time for Shirogane, only to get closer, hear them actually talk to each other and be the only other Umamusume who realizes that NO these two absolutely despise and each other and are only pretending to be Civil, much to her horror.

Omake material if nothing else.

Vanargandr said:
I could see comparisons to Daichi Ruby's stoicism and calm behavior (also both smol)

Or the other way around since I think timeline wise Shirogane races first
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Same decade, but Daiichi Ruby was active several years earlier, 1991 vs 1998 for the Golden Generation, which Shirogane is a part of. Though now you have implanted the idea of Shirogane having her own Helios Equivalent in 1997 Double Crown Front-Runner Sunny Brian, who just REALLY wants to befriend her.
 
Last edited:
WrandmWaffles said:
They might think they want to see Shirogane find a rival. They will likely not have the same opinion after she does.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
WrandmWaffles said:
The funny thing is that Shirogane has the potential to have a very long career given her durability, which means that she could end up as sort of a "Welcome to the League" figure for aspiring runners, because if they can beat or keep their cool while racing against her, they are likely going to have a successful career.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
It would be great if Shirogane eventually learns the concept of 'friendly rivalry' over the course of her potentially long career.
WrandmWaffles said:
Ironically enough IRL Haru Urara was kind of abused, running over 100 races in 6 years.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
The thing about IRL Haru Urara was that she had to run those races or she would have been sent to the slaughterhouse. To put it another way, Racing really was a matter of life-or-death for the IRL Haru Urara.

Which makes it incredible that she never got injured during her career, which was intentional to some extent as her trainer, Dai Muneishi, even went on record to say when asked whether he could make Haru Urara win. According to a reddit post, his words at the time were, "I could, but I will not train my horse to win at the cost of injury."
 
Last edited:
Crispy Taco Shell said:
What new self-imposed brutality will Shirogane endure next chapter, I wonder? Weighted clothes, mud, and artillery barrages? She's practically the Vegeta or Rock Lee of Umamusume at this point.

Future prediction: As Shirogane wins more races, the other umas will attempt to copy her training regimen and utterly wreak themselves.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
This brings to mind an image of Shiro taking off her jacket, incidentally showing off how absolutely shredded she is compared to the average racing umma. Mussels that most wouldn't bother getting in their careers.

FluffyVoid said:
Talk about a good way to get rumors started about how you are cheating on your rival with other rivals.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
...Rival Harem.

(I'm not sorry!)

Cataquack Warrior said:
Then they might start wondering, what would actually make Shiro view someone as a rival? The answer to that (an enemy, as in a life-or-death threat) would not be pleasant.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
"I'm so happy that Shiro finally got a rival! Maybe this is what she needs to get a real passion for racing!" Meanwhile, Sharo and the other Umma were throwing hands in the middle of a parking lot./j
 
WrandmWaffles said:
If she runs all 6 Classic Races, she's going to inspire a bunch of bright eyed umas to try and win them all. It would probably crush them to find out she did it for the money.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Then they find out she wanted the money to support her family, and then it's back to being inspired again.
 
The biggest driving force behind Shirogane's ambitions is caring for her family. It's no longer about that nebulous plan to retire in comfort anymore and that is a great sign of growth as a character.

That's why I'm fully supporting that Shirogane/Tensei ship.

Just imagine they get married and have several umamusume daughters that are all 4th generation Tanya reincarnations from different universes. Step aside, Gold Family! The new Silver Clan is an Addam's Family-esque bundle of self-cest lunatics that don't realize how strange they are because they're all so weirdly in-sync with each other.

Only the 1st generation reincarnate husband would be normal but even he'd seem strange in contrast. Tensei is a 6/10, plain vanilla salaryman who'd somehow managed to marry a champion-tier, muscle-mommy umamusume. People would wonder how he pulled that off.
 
Crispy Taco Shell said:
Tensei is a 6/10, plain vanilla salaryman who'd somehow managed to marry a champion-tier, muscle-mommy umamusume. People would wonder how he pulled that off.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Supposedly he was a heartthrob at the office and just missed all the signs. He was also tall for a Japanese and competed at a high level in multiple sports. Even if he didn't keep up the training he was probably still fairly fit.
 
ScarredPunLover said:
Then Shirogane gets a warning that she's got to start wearing anything that'll cover her eyes or mouth so no one can see the glare or smile, elsewise it'll be seen as interfering with other racers, or some such.

The hated racer never attends any race where Shirogane is in attendance, ever again.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Veterans-Oh shit its Halo 2.0

King Halo's mom will immediately have a panic attack
 
Stracio said:
It would be great if Shirogane eventually learns the concept of 'friendly rivalry' over the course of her potentially long career.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Maybe,maybe not. Agnes Tachyon certainly didn't particularly give a shit about Jungle Pocket being her self proclaimed rival. Agnes Tachyons only real rival was herself. Or to be more precise she always locked on and chased her potential future self just for a chance at reaching and breaking her limits as a Umamusume.

Shirogane could potentially lock in on something else as her main motivation beyond just wanting to pay back the care of her parents had for her. And that honestly could make for an interesting character development arc as Shiro slowly comes to discover whatever said motivation could be.
 
ScarredPunLover said:
I'd wager that either her smile or glare would cause any hated racer to freeze in place and/or have a heart attack, unable to continue for the rest of the race.

Then Shirogane gets a warning that she's got to start wearing anything that'll cover her eyes or mouth so no one can see the glare or smile, elsewise it'll be seen as interfering with other racers, or some such.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Somehow, forcing Shirogane to wear a bite mask and blinders would make everybody's fear worse. Just imagine an uma so dangerous, the security guards must roll her into the starting gate strapped to a gurney with a Hannibal Lecter mask. Who'd be brave enough to race against that?
 
Crispy Taco Shell said:
Somehow, forcing Shirogane to wear a bite mask and blinders would make everybody's fear worse. Just imagine an uma so dangerous, the security guards must roll her into the starting gate strapped to a gurney with a Hannibal Lecter mask. Who'd be brave enough to race against that?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Dunno why, but your comment made me think of this previous one

DeathFrown said:
That just popped an idea into my head about how the "now canonized" underground scene will salivate at seeing a polish war horse doing real races, "What's a war horse doing in races?! We need her here damnit! Do you idiots even know how valuable the Polish lineage is?!" (They don't, neither do I.)
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

And I'm imagining all the "underground" Uma racers would be curious about this Uma who is "clearly" a former underground racer who hasn't fully shaken old habits.

I'm also imagining any number of "punk" Uma looking up to Shiro as "the most badass Uma of 'em all! She's so awesome, everyone she ever raced with was terrified of her! She didn't even have to do anything but look at them!"

… for some reason, I'm imagining such a "punk" Uma seeing Shiro's smile, and being starstruck.

"… it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen…"
 
JRA: What's a Polish warhorse doing here?

Hana: We wanted to do a legally-distinct Sunday Silence, so Poland it was.

Shirogane: It paid the bills.

JRA: … fair enough. On a completely unrelated note, Goodbye Halo has presented you with a restraining order, the Sunday lineage wishes to open a dialogue with ya, and the Mejiro's are already saying something about 'not again!'
 
The story's been very good so far and the exposition seems well set, but it really feels like there needs to be a spark soon. Shirogane is understandably pretty apathetic about the toils of everyday life, little can compare to frontline combat after all. But that disengagement also translates to the audience, it's hard to care about something the protagonist doesn't care about either.

Someone that makes her angry, pokes at her sore spot or something that she can get excited about. We need to see those things that reveals something about her values.
 
EsotericTome said:
The story's been very good so far and the exposition seems well set, but it really feels like there needs to be a spark soon. Shirogane is understandably pretty apathetic about the toils of everyday life, little can compare to frontline combat after all. But that disengagement also translates to the audience, it's hard to care about something the protagonist doesn't care about either.

Someone that makes her angry, pokes at her sore spot or something that she can get excited about. We need to see those things that reveals something about her values.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I am not having that issue at all.
Watching Shirogane meander her way through life has been great fun so far.
 
I don't really care about shipping and romance, so tensei is just sort of background for me, but I'm happy that other people are happy so that's cool.
Mainly though, I am on the side of wanting a rival for Tanya that inspires rage in her, just someone that pisses her off while still being super friendly to everyone else, I agree with Umamusume romanticizing rivals too much, I want someone like Blue from Pokémon but worse.
Otherwise I'm really enjoying alot of this story, especially how well your nailing all the other Umas personality's, feels like your representing the characters very well!
 
wtdtd said:
I am not having that issue at all.
Watching Shirogane meander her way through life has been great fun so far.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I usually don't mind meandering either, case in point being something like Frieren. But that show does something important, it starts with the character realizing that there was something that they cared about in their life. That emotional revelation grounds us, and provides us with the ability to see her actions knowing part of what drives her character. It's what gives the meandering meaning and purpose.
 
I have a hard time figuring out what could cause Shirogane to get genuinely emotional, whether it's angry, or extremely determined. The only times she's really shown emotion in her past lives was when her ideal livelihood was being threatened. That is not a factor here, she is already living her ideal life. She doesn't even really care about winning as long as she gets a decent chunk of change from it. I don't know what would change this (okay, something happening to her family probably would, but I don't think the story is going there).
 
Maybe someone close to her would ask Shirogane to run without holding anything back. Maybe a friend/rival who realized that Shirogane was never really putting her all in her races, emotionally speaking. Perhaps it'a a family member who just wants Shirogane to run for herself for once rather than for the family.

Either was it's going to be a terrifying sight to see a Shirogane who is genuinely enjoying her time in the track.
 
D.O.A-2100 said:
"I'm so happy that Shiro finally got a rival! Maybe this is what she needs to get a real passion for racing!" Meanwhile, Sharo and the other Umma were throwing hands in the middle of a parking lot./j
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Argious said:
The idea of Shirogane meeting Uma! Mary Souix at like, the Japan Cup or Champions cup and they both have a mutual Whitney Chewston moment, but both have mellowed out over their lives as Umamusume and decided on the path of "I wish this bitch would start something so I would have an excuse, but I'M not the one whose going to start an international incident over it" would be funny, especially if they run into each other at both and Mary tries to bait Shirogane into making the first mistake. Digitan sees from a distance and thinks it's finally Yuri time for Shirogane, only to get closer, hear them actually talk to each other and be the only other Umamusume who realizes that NO these two absolutely despise and each other and are only pretending to be Civil, much to her horror.

Omake material if nothing else.



Same decade, but Daiichi Ruby was active several years earlier, 1991 vs 1998 for the Golden Generation, which Shirogane is a part of. Though now you have implanted the idea of Shirogane having her own Helios Equivalent in 1997 Double Crown Front-Runner Sunny Brian, who just REALLY wants to befriend her.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

It would be hilarious if, in a distant epilogue, after countless clashes—both on the track and in abandoned parking lots—they reached an uneasy truce after retiring, saying: "Okay, bitch, you stay on your side of the world and I'll stay on mine, and we'll be fine."

But this truce only applies to them, not their daughters, so they essentially found their own racing dynasties with a legendary international rivalry.

Somehow, all subsequent generations inherit the mutual hatred of their founders.

And the funniest part? This generational hatred isn't limited to Umas, but extends even to their sons.

No matter the field—business, medicine, video games, politic, boxing, aerospace engineering—the sons and daughters of the Silver and Souix clans become some of the greatest geniuses Humanity/Umakind has ever seen, all fueled by a petty grudge whose origin only their matriarchs know.

Literally, the only thing preventing these two from starting World War III is their husbands calming their psychotic wives down.
 
Lyrista said:
Family has a medical emergency and Tanya goes relentless racer trying to earn to pay for their medical bills
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
That would work yeah. Alternatively since Shirogane is now more or less friends with Haru Urara..... someone among the Uma at Tracen maliciously bad mouths Haru and Shiro didn't take kindly to that.
 
Vanargandr said:
Veterans-Oh shit its Halo 2.0

King Halo's mom will immediately have a panic attack
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

"Stay away from my daughter, Halo!"

"Mother! That's rude of you to... Wait... Did you just call Shirogane-san "Halo" just now?"

"I know what you are, Halo! Stay away from my daughter!"

"King, I think your mother is having a panic attack..."

"Halo, I don't care if you're small! Just stay away from my daughter!"

"It's already a given at this point."
 
Reader mode
You must log in or register to reply here.

Users who are viewing this thread

  • ... and 2 more.
    • Total: 16 (members: 11, guests: 5)
    Back
    Top