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Situation update, a few days after the fact. One of those pipes is nicely plugged. Other? Technical issue. Waiting on a different sized plug to arrive, apparently.
Internet has been back for a while, so there's that. It's just that water lines to the washing machine being busted mean eeeeverything has to be turned off or it just... pours right on through.
No knobs anywhere along the way that go 'I'm gonna cut off the flow from here on until that section gets repaired, but let you keep using the rest' or anything like that. One thing breaks at any point and it's aaaaall broke.
I had a pipe break recently, but at least that was somehow easily isolated by luck even if one bathroom had to be barred from use. That's so much worse.
Yeah, it's why the responsive attempt at a fix once everything wasn't frozen mud down there was 'Okay, can we just plug it up and do without the washer?'
Unfortunate that that didn't work out, but nothing to be done about it.
Idle thought: 'Maybe zip ties can squeeze down on the pipe and keep the plug in, since it's flexible'.
It was worth a thought but in practice didn't need to even test with water to see that it wasn't gonna happen. Not with the force I and a tie can exert.
There's heavy duty zip ties that might do the job, they need to be ratcheted down and exert lots more pressure. There's also a type of epoxy with metal powder mixed in for repairs