Questionable Questing

Bob is bob

Still reading it and more Jason time. Magical girls and demon mafia. Also, for her I do like how much fun she has being naughty with Hari.

Bob is bob

Love the how can this game of bullshit last. Ryuko being all ready to bring Hari in to the fun

Andy333

Thanks. I added that part in since it shows how Ryuko is ready to admit her problems and talk about her past while Satsuki is still hiding from them.

Andy333

And Yeah Marin was fun to write especially with how open she was about sex. Most characters I write are either really repressed or hiding from something so it was a nice change of pace.

Bob is bob

I like how Ryuko talks about causal love of her sister's bedhead after sex but now Jason. Our poor fool. Dad leaves and the debt to the scary people fall to Jason. And to make matters worse, over time he gets these scary people are actual dark magic monsters and not normal mafia

Andy333

You know, if these are magical mafia's I feel like the dad needs a better reason to go into debt rather than some a gambling problem like I was originally thinking. Maybe medical treatment for something using mystical powers? Maybe a hidden heritage? Something a little more interesting, you know?

Bob is bob

I like how casual the incest breaking is with the kiss at the end and how Ryuko loved her mother's pussy.
""Why not?" Ruko tried to tease, but the smile she wore felt a little too heavy and all those doubts she had been hiding for a long time were threatening to spill over." Nice expression addition here with the prose on her changing emotions

Bob is bob

Avoid hidden heritage. Let Jason go from nobody to something because of his actions and the mentors in the demon mafia. Dad wanted to be young again and pay for expensive whores and ended up selling his family to the mob.

Andy333

Young again, that's it. That's something mystical and selfish. He felt old and was in the middle of the dreaded mid life crisis and asked for a fountain of youth spells to shed a few years off. Enough for him to change his identity and name, leaving this city and family behind to deal with the chaos of his decision.

Bob is bob

Absolute prick. And have magical boys as well? Magical boys and girls, need better term for them, as superheroes

Andy333

Magical Boi's. lol. Well in my story with Ryuko and Hari, magical boys exists but since it's overwhelmingly girls that are chosen, and the outfits are filled with pastel colors and chlidh decorations no matter the gender, it's seen as a inherently girlish thing and is why the few Magical boys get teased about it a lot. Could have something like that here. But I don't know.

Andy333

If you have magical demon underworld, I'm thinking magic is more an inherent part of nature rather than caused by extra dimensional symbiote clothes like with the Kill La Kill ideas.

Bob is bob

I'd' go for superman and other all might figures for magical boys here. Call them titans?
And inherent how?

Andy333

Inherent as in with the clothes it's obviously not from around here and the cause of all the crazy stuff going on, while inherent means that everyone has that spark of magic within them that with the right training, exposure, or artifacts, they can learn how to use it.

Andy333

Fits with the whole zero to hero idea with Jason. And for magical boys we can do the classic and just call them Wizards.

Bob is bob

Wizards and what, Princceses? Knights and princsesses? Nobles?
And so our lad starts a porn studio to help the debt but gets involved in some gang violence and barely survives, earning the respect of the Family

Andy333

Well my thinking is the mob family is pretty ruthlessly pragmatic, and what would've happened if the MC didn't pay is they would kicked the shit out of the MC and his brother, maybe stolen their car or robbed their house, but once they found out the dad had run off they would've pulled back and exclusively focused on him.

Bob is bob

Not going to have the mob family threaten to mind break and corrupt the mom and sisters?

Andy333

More than anything they just wanted the money and were only hurting the family to try and make the dad pay. If that didn't work they would've focused on finding the dad and not harassing the family. Ironically by paying back the money he proved his skills to the family and turned it into useful leverage over his head.

Andy333

I don't think they would threaten to mind break them. It would be a waste of time and resources in their book. Beautification and mind control potions aren't cheap, why waste them on someone outside the family who hates you, and plus threatening to hurt them achieves the same results. Again ruthlessly pragmatic.