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I realise what has always bothered me about the slice of life dialogue, it is too sitcom like. The winking when making a joke about someone, like you have to tell them it is a joke everytime, same when Shane mentions in his head that it is a joke. The slice of life reads more like a script...
If anyone wants character ideas I have a bunch just sitting unused for multiple settings with backstories (for some), I think they aren't half bad either
Being mad at him for defending lethal force with merely dismemberment is so retarded. He could've have justifiably killed them under self defence, in fact I am kind of sad he didn't
I need an interlude of Shane playing Doom sovereign and destroying everything, I thought we would get one ages ago. Also, I gotta say it doesn't feel like his skill becoming an ability did much
Fair enough I do feel you are 'completing' Naruto with Systematic. I guess I am just a big fun of the Kaguya clan and your characters really fit there imo. Maybe I need to start spreading the idea around in hopes someone does it or just write it myself. Anyways keep up the great work
I can relate to that (being fit/never fat)but I thought about it while trying to go to sleep 2 nights ago and the thought sounded awesome, tbh I think it would motivate people because your style of writing is very personable/emotional so I think if you could figure out how to write it you would...
Would you ever write a fanfic where the mc starts fat? Almost always your characters are either average or already buff, so inserting into a character like Dudley and becoming buff would be kind of cool imo
Ahh ok, then that does invalidate my previous comments, though the first dialogue in chapter 20+ is kind of crazy. You might want to state at the beginning of the story that it is outside perspective