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  1. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Having only been exposed to corporate Aslanmas events, Weiss is thoroughly unprepared for a proper chaotic family Aslanmas. Weiss: *tilts head* "Presents? You mean...actual presents? That's actually a thing? I thought that was a myth, like getting a pony for your birthday." Nicholas: "Pony...

  2. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    All this needs is Raven bragging that her own corvid kids are superior to Yang.

  3. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...complete lack of any marketable skillset that did it in. Weiss never really got over Winter hooking up with her, ugh, Knight Daddy either." Weiss: *pale* Whitley: "And Xiao-Long needed therapy from day one. Who goes on a drunken rampage of destruction just because they had a break-up? She had...

  4. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...learn that Whitley's rebuilt the family fortune by going into the writing business. Weiss: "Whitley: A Spare's Tale?! What is this dreck?!" Yang: *reading the reviews* "A giant rollercoaster of a novel in four hundred sizzling chapters. A searing indictment of the lives and families of the...

  5. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...without looking up from his sandwich. Isabel: "Ebbeh - abbuh - awuh?" Jaune: "Oh, that? Just a little trick I picked up. No biggie." Yang: *staring at her reattached arm* *whimpers* Jaune: "Oh, right, I forgot, we don't have regenerative and resurrection magic here." Pyrrha: *panting...

  6. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...born of her abandonment issues and the desperate need to fix people to keep them close, all because she heard about it second-hand. Or Blake desperate to prove that she's real. Blake: *yanking her top up* "THERE! Are you going to say these aren't real either?!" Jaune: *sighs* "I miss Katy."

  7. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...whenever you think about her. Does that sound like an actual person, or a YA protagonist?" Adam: "YOU LIE...huh...oh wow, that's wild..." Jaune: *tsks* "See? You even ignored a Schnee to go hunt after this supposed 'Blake' person; a Schnee on her team, no less." Adam: "So...I'm crazy?" Jaune...

  8. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Many fics have Jaune being a knight/paladin/holy warrior equivalent, so let's play with that: Jaune prays before every fight and mission, and the gods actually answer. Against non-Grimm enemies, he calls on the Brother of Darkness; against the Grimm, the Brother of Light answers; against the...

  9. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    *Pyrrha walks out in a tiger-fur bikini top and loincloth, complete with tooth-necklace* Yang: *looks at her own tiny fur one piece dress and glares* "Oh it is on, cereal girl." Pyrrha: "Bring it, blondie."

  10. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune going full Tarzan in the dinosaur sanctuary would be hilarious. Imagine him having a full Tarzin-esque treehouse somewhere in the jungle and walking around in a loincloth and spear.

  11. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Yang, desperately trying to outswim the 80 ft. mosasaur: "I take it back! I TAKE IT BACK!" Jaune, playing with said mosasaur's pups: "Food chain, Yang. No backsies." So, if Yang grows attached to a dinosaur, will her abandonment issues come into play? Will Blake ever try dinosaur omelette or...

  12. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...Ra and his defenders - and that's also true. Ozpin: "She has taken many names over the years - the Nightmare Queen, the Dark Mother-" Sakura: *teacup shatters* "Ara? Please, go ON-" Ozpin: "Her goal is destruction-" *A blue-skinned four-armed woman superimposes herself over Jaune's...

  13. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Damn you Salem!

    ...Branwen's daughter started? It was me, Ruby Rose! I went to Patch, shapeshifted into a nosy old biddy, and mentioned it during bridge night!" Ruby: *recoils* Salem: "And that time when you were thirteen and thought you wet the bed? The one your sister wouldn't stop teasing you for weeks...

  14. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...to herself. Not that Yang has noticed. Whitley and Jaune are her long-suffering therapists. Ruby: "Mom left us to go with Raven..." Jaune: *sipping coffee* "Mmhmm, that's why we never listen to strange shapeshifters with terminal mid-life crisis." Ruby: "She thought going heroing with Raven...

  15. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    A Radian idea: the Arc family's other neighbors are the Addams family and he's sort of Pugsley's and Wednesday's elder brother figure. Ruby thinks the whole aesthetic is awesome, Yang fainted when she realized she was shaking hands with a disembodied hand, Blake and Weiss are equally...

  16. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Yang is probably getting there but is a wee bit too high on her pride and the need to rub her 'success' in that spoiled cat's face. Weiss is, of course, going to attempt diplomacy. In this case, she took one look at a picture of Jaune in full royal armor and her Daddy-meter shorted out.

  17. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...via the Arc clan. They're thriving. Jaune: "Another day, another fifty petitions...Ruby? I haven't seen you in - whoawhoawhoawhaaaaat-" Ruby: *unlacing her corset* "I'm convincing you." Jaune: "Convincing me to what?!" Ruby: *letting the girls out to breathe* "To formally annex my kingdom...

  18. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...as per canon, and instead of being left alone Ruby unofficially rejoins JNR. Hilarity ensues when Yang's abandonment issues come into play. Yang: *glaring through her binoculars* "Look at them all cuddly and huggy together, just cuz Nora had tickets to the weapons expo..." *Nora noogies a...

  19. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Mercury is simply the most tragic of the lot for the simple reason that evil is the only thing he's ever known.

  20. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    ...my only hope for grandkids now." Ruby: "What? Why?" Tai: "Yang's gone full chunni. At her age, there's no coming back." Yang: "Excuse me?!" Tai: *sobbing into his handkerchief* "Now she's going to start a biker gang and make them call her 'aneki'!" Ruby: "Dad, maybe you're overreacting...
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