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Nice story, thanks for writing it. I think it's fitting that it ends here because most of the setup from the previous chapters (Madison's regrets, Conflicts with Emma and Sophia, Shard mind control, Taylor friendship, Ward situation, etc) have all had sufficient payoff by now and been resolved...
That's fine, drive to improve makes me happy because it means more engaging stories in the future. As long as you try your best we cannot ask for more. I hope to read more of what you write because people who seek improvement are rare, and almost always end up writing good stuff eventually. I'm...
Your introduction is the most important part of the story. Changing the POVs too quickly drives people away, so find a way to convey what you need to without changing the POV too much.
It was cool of Dennis to distract Missy from her problems with the PR department. I like the way that you have these subtle interactions happen in the background that the protagonist isn't aware of the implications of. It makes the situation feel more real.
The intro chapter contains precisely 2,454 words worth of exposition before anything actually happens.
Honestly you could delete it and open in-media res with the Izuku interaction, and have us learn this info over time in exchange for a more engaging plot hook. I liked the "trying to reach...
Found it on Pinterest, it's an artist's redrawing of some super model's face in robo aesthetic, with slight alterations to the person's facial expression to make em seem more intimidating. I like the artist's interpretation; it adds a lot and makes it more 'ideal' as a facial expression. This...
That's precisely the problem; the nun accepts the claim of the self proclaimed witch without complaint or questioning. A very strange interaction that makes the character seem like an NPC in a videogame.
The name change was enough to fool me into thinking this was a different story to the spacebattles one. But the sentence "I assure you this is not a heathen school" and the reply of "Ok" from the head nun gave away this story's source. Why you decided to keep that interaction in this upload of...