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should be effects
Has ring translation so spoiled the SI that he can no longer distinguish the English word "blood" meaning genetics or ancestry from the similar but distinct word "blood" for a vital substance of the human body? Or is he just being flippant about the distinction?
Or it could be an instance of a more general problem with fighting time-travelers – even if their death is in your past, other segments of their life may yet be in your present and future.
barring?
Peter Wynne makes a great Lex Luthor. Employing convicted supervillains; working with the law and by means of the law rather than against it; inconveniencing the Justice League and surviving to inconvenience them another day.
The horses?
This if doesn't have anything to attach to, so it's probably extraneous.
This clause is weird. Perhaps unless I brandished my pistols? But that doesn't feel consistent with Brother Abednego's grammar - for a hypothetical he'd presumably need a subjunctive? Maybe unless I were to...
Although in ordinary debate to quote from a dictionary is a form of giving in, I hope that in this specific case where we are correcting word usage in prestige dialects you'll forgive me. From Merriam-Webster Online:
Although effect (v.) is less common than effect (n.) or the two meanings of...
"Effect change" is a more common idiom but both are viable here: are we bringing about change (effect) or altering change which is already underway (affect)?
(Well, in practice presumably both, but which do you prefer to emphasize?)
The subject here disagrees any way I can try it. "Will your contacts share our discoveries with them?" "Will your contacts wish to share our discoveries with them?"
If I'm understanding the meaning correctly, you might try something like
"And will your 'contacts' wish to accompany us? Or...
He's using ring translation. "Mon-keigh" -> "beings lesser than elves" -> some appropriate Elven word (for the dark elves) or not-found, use-phonetic-approximation (for the Knight).
In that case my recommendation is locals', with the apostrophe of the plural possessive.
(Ideally it would be a proper U+02BC apostrophe, so localsʼ, but I do have to concede that consumer software is not there quite yet.)
Reasonable enough, but the speaker's at least a little ambiguous and "Tia" hasn't been namechecked in three paragraphs. I'd prefer to have some sort of dialog tag for her, somewhere between "we switched to human trials back in December" and perhaps "if it gets approval for widespread use," as a...