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Good catches. Thanks. I'm going to have the mechs be based on those designs but are one off customs by individual pilots before they came out full circle though I might have the Lyrans make them early as well as relationships improve
Chapter Fourteen
3002: The First Weight
In 3001, the Federated Suns learned that foundations mattered. In 3002, weight came down on them.
Not all at once. That would have been easier to recognize. Weight came in ordinary forms first: a junior officer reporting to his first real assignment, a...
Chapter Thirteen
3001: The Long Reinforcement
The Federated Suns did not receive a quiet year because Ian Davion needed one.
That was the first lesson of 3001.
The second was harsher.
A realm could spend years planting roots and still discover, when weight finally came down, which roots had...
Ok I will fix this then go find a beta reader because I definitely need one 5 chapters with the mistakes is ridiculous. I appreciate you finding these. I don't take that you dislike the story just constructive critiques of mistakes. Again Thank you
Chapter Twelve
3000: The Millennium Opens
The third millennium of mankind did not arrive on New Avalon with trumpets.
It arrived with frost on palace windows, light over the roofs of Avalon City, and Ian Davion sta
nding alone in the office that still felt too much like his father's.
Andrew's...
...The 15th MEU was nearest, forward under I MEF, and had been halfway through a miserable readiness inspection when the alert arrived. Its colonel, **Adrienne Vale**, accepted the message, looked at her inspection staff, and said, 'Congratulations. The exercise is now real.'
The first Marine...
Threadmarks: Updated Chapter Ten. Thank you to Drakensis for catching things I should have
...The instructors liked it.
That was why they were hated properly.
The test site was a secondary depot outside the capital district on **Broken Wheel**, chosen because it was good enough to matter and imperfect enough to reveal the truth. Its militia company had passed three standard ORIs in...
thank you I thought I missed something when I was writing. I will pull and fix it and repost. Thank you for catching that. I really need to find a beta reader
...the first blocking force had left its cantonment.
By 0458, the militia command staff had identified the obvious target as bait.
At 0511, Major **Isolde Carver**, commander of the Valexa CMM combat command assigned to Bell's western industrial zone, stood inside a mobile command post and...
Chapter Eight
2996 - The Industrial Outbreak
Opening - The First Step
The first construction IndustrialMech walked badly.
That was the opinion of three reporters, two visiting councilors, and one junior minister who had expected history to have better balance.
The workers disagreed.
To...
well the Mercury that the clans based the Omnimech on was itself based off the quick change tools of the Jabberwocky so David just happen to notice quick change components may help it will be decades before anything happens but yes the seed itself is planted
Chapter Seven
2995 — The Factory Floor Wakes
Opening — The Loaded Floor
In 2995, the rebuild stopped being something people could only read about in reports.
It had walls now.
It had shift whistles, safety boards, clinic schedules, school work-study forms, payroll disputes, food contracts...
Alright I edited it and reinserted the scene that I originally had for this setting I am hoping it meets your high Standards as I have read several of your works