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The Pirate was in a Rampage sporting RWR colors in front of a Gunslinger of the Hegemony. His shit getting pushed back in was a foregone conclusion. Not that Markham and Raju know that lol
You need a secondary pov to illustrate just how terrifying it is to see Gene go kill mode on sight of the Rampage and Death’s Head. Victoria or Raju would be best. Markham as well. Just someone to stand in
Reads real rough man, you have a few words that don’t belong, Gene doing his usual jumpy internal monologues that don’t tie together well and tell us what’s going on rather than showing. At one point you have wouldn’t weren’t in one sentence where weren’t works. Just feels like you need to read...
Supply Depot in the foothills of the Decimus Mountains in Herotitus Southwest of New Hedron if Gene needs a resupply. It’s contents are listed as up to the GM for its module in Touring the Stars:Herotitus. Planet’s currently independent and run by the New Hesonists who’ve made the Urban centers...
Imperator I love ya man and have been following this story since you posted it, but this? This right here was one of the better openings for actual dialogue to occur and it devolves, yet again, into Gene going introspective and you just info dumping us on stuff.
It's nice you're explaining his...
I am gonna admit, Gene’s disjointed fumbling perspective and the way things have dragged on post battle have made this hard to read. The dialogue between characters still feels so dry and clinical. I get you’re setting the stage for future events but it’s all so detached.
Okay, I like it but you’re again starting dialogue and then going off on exposition with character thoughts while sentences are left hanging, and it winds up explaining nothing and making the flow confusing. There’s also this issue where events are jumping around instead of flowing into each other.
I get that but I took being told to let innocents die and that they’re just going to blame me anyway personally so I shied from FedSuns contracts after.
Do note Alexandria Cunningham is the same woman who will lambast you for prioritizing the lives of hostages over killing the Liao terrorists in her Flashpoint. Citing that the deaths of the hostages could be blamed on your unit allowing the FedSuns to remove the Terrorists, and foist the...
It did, flow better that is, Imperator is getting better at having Gene express human emotions but he still feels like a targeting computer wearing human skin, very dispassionate and professional. Weirdly this is great for a military officer but boring to read.
Yeah, the whole “Cannot refuse a Noblewoman’s marriage” thing likely only applies in Canopus to Canopian Citizens, and jokes aside I can’t see Canopians not having guarantees against things like marital rape and a strong culture of prenuptial arrangements. Especially given the cultural practice...
Be careful of the natives, a sharp piece of flint to the skull can kill as surely as a bullet, and yay they found the underground base and we can end this arc of watching snow and cave people soon. Been a slow burn on the Pioche stuff, but it is laying the groundwork for the other Canopian Ruins...
They get the saber tooth and deer from Project Sagittarius Umbrella, McEvedy's Folly? Because that would explain that but it'd mean they were looking at possible DOME stuff not Hidden Army.
You keep using Baathist for the RWR and while I don’t disagree I just tend to associate that word with the regime of Iraq and am wondering why you started using it for the Rimworlders in the past few chapters?