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  1. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Hopefully it's a smooth delivery, congrats to your friend and congrats on becoming a non-blood Uncle lol.
  2. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    The current Arc has been absolutely nothing but stage setting for a while now and very very little new information has been revealed. It’s all organizational stuff, Gene’s internal monologues, and secondhand reports of more interesting things happening off screen. Everything also still fills...
  3. Silverbullet

    Governor's Gambit - Star Wars SI into Imperial Governor

    Rakghols huh? Better call the Inquisition and get ready to Base Delta Zero Edin.
  4. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Unless Jaime is going to tell Kerlin Ward then I don’t see why he’s not burning towards Kelly’s last known location to start the hunt. The Dragoons are still Clanners more or less at this time and an Amaris heir resurgent? They’d be screaming that way post haste.
  5. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Raventhir is showing why that family has the title Guardians of the Garter. Duke John Raventhir II rebuilt the MAF and hunted down pirates in the 2700s and now his descendant does the same. Raventhir’s Iron Hand the Unit was founded by the Duke of Farandir. Wonder what Colonel Holly Van Dame is...
  6. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    I thought the only HPGs in Canopus were on Canopus IV and Luxen?
  7. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    I’d cut the bit on mech production and future variants and put that in a separate informational blurb. Jarring to have it in the middle
  8. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    The Pirate was in a Rampage sporting RWR colors in front of a Gunslinger of the Hegemony. His shit getting pushed back in was a foregone conclusion. Not that Markham and Raju know that lol
  9. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    It would seem Shepherd’s calm has been damaged lol
  10. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    That’s essentially what a Zeus is….
  11. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    You need a secondary pov to illustrate just how terrifying it is to see Gene go kill mode on sight of the Rampage and Death’s Head. Victoria or Raju would be best. Markham as well. Just someone to stand in
  12. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Reads real rough man, you have a few words that don’t belong, Gene doing his usual jumpy internal monologues that don’t tie together well and tell us what’s going on rather than showing. At one point you have wouldn’t weren’t in one sentence where weren’t works. Just feels like you need to read...
  13. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Forgot to ask, are these interesting fauna Canonical? I couldn’t find anything on Sarna that wasn’t related to the Mech or Clan.
  14. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Supply Depot in the foothills of the Decimus Mountains in Herotitus Southwest of New Hedron if Gene needs a resupply. It’s contents are listed as up to the GM for its module in Touring the Stars:Herotitus. Planet’s currently independent and run by the New Hesonists who’ve made the Urban centers...
  15. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Imperator I love ya man and have been following this story since you posted it, but this? This right here was one of the better openings for actual dialogue to occur and it devolves, yet again, into Gene going introspective and you just info dumping us on stuff. It's nice you're explaining his...
  16. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    I am gonna admit, Gene’s disjointed fumbling perspective and the way things have dragged on post battle have made this hard to read. The dialogue between characters still feels so dry and clinical. I get you’re setting the stage for future events but it’s all so detached.
  17. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Okay, I like it but you’re again starting dialogue and then going off on exposition with character thoughts while sentences are left hanging, and it winds up explaining nothing and making the flow confusing. There’s also this issue where events are jumping around instead of flowing into each other.
  18. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    I get that but I took being told to let innocents die and that they’re just going to blame me anyway personally so I shied from FedSuns contracts after.
  19. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    Do note Alexandria Cunningham is the same woman who will lambast you for prioritizing the lives of hostages over killing the Liao terrorists in her Flashpoint. Citing that the deaths of the hostages could be blamed on your unit allowing the FedSuns to remove the Terrorists, and foist the...
  20. Silverbullet

    Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

    It did, flow better that is, Imperator is getting better at having Gene express human emotions but he still feels like a targeting computer wearing human skin, very dispassionate and professional. Weirdly this is great for a military officer but boring to read.
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