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  1. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Obviously she must seduce him for more information on this miracle. She must pump him for all his secrets, milk him dry and swallow every drop- Pyrrha: "I have this strange urge to get a pet dog."

  2. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    "My special power is that I don't have a special power! That's right, I don't have a Tragic Backstory, and my family is alive, well, and not dysfunctional!"

  3. [RWBY] The Great Temporal Step-Sibling War!

    Reminder that Sakura has ties to All the World's Evil and that Kali is a Sakuraface. Sakura: *eerie smile* "Ara ara, the Dark Mother? Such an interesting title~" Salem: "Why do I hear boss music?"

  4. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    *Jaune's eyes narrow* Jaune: "Is that a crack against my family, you upjumped, pretentious commoner with delusions of aristocracy?" NPR, RWBY: *GASP!* Jaune: *shamefully* "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. It's not your fault you're New Money, Weiss."

  5. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    I'd assume Cardin realizes that the optimal situation would be to do the opposite of whatever Blake suggests.

  6. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Weiss: "I don't believe you! First that sick joke about the so-called vampire and now you're refusing to tell us why you want to run and hide in the bushes?" Jaune: "Gold goat." Weiss: " Wha-" Jaune: "That gold goat. It's been getting closer and closer to the cabin, evading all our traps. It's...

  7. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Pyrrha is so utterly terrified of ghosts that Jaune, Ren and Nora pledge to never mention the real reason they have their weird rituals (carrying salt everywhere, scattering rice, keeping iron weapons)...until the day they have to. Ren: *smothers a wide-eyed Pyrrha's mouth* Jaune: "Not. A...

  8. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune: *more than irritated by now* "The difference is that my story is real." *Later* Jaune: "And Nana says, "Isabel. Don't look at it. Never look at it." That's how mom knew."

  9. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Someone gaslights the hell out of Blake to make her believe that her very prominent feline traits are due to being an experiment. "Haven't you ever wondered why a maritime settlement like Menagerie has no fish or rodent faunus?"

  10. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Izzy: "Oh, that's easy; you're the fanservice." Yang: *staggers back* "Wha-what?" Izzy: "You're a blonde cyborg with big boobs, abs and revealing clothing. You're the fanservice with character development until the timeskip and Ruby's Xiao-Long genes hit her like a rampaging Goliath, and then...

  11. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune was trained to fight monsters and abominations using every trick his parents knew and those he developed himself. He is profoundly disappointed when he enrols in Beacon and finds it to be a glorified gladitorial school. Jaune: "Fight fair? No dust poisons, traps or military grade...

  12. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Absurd thought: Blake is wrong about the bigotry faced by the people of Menagerie. Racism isn't the issue, but as islanders living in a beach commune with no obvious form of commerce or trade, the common perception is that they're all goddamn hippies.

  13. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    A few years later... Weiss: *obliviously innocent* "Ruby, you should really learn proper table manners." Yang: "What's wrong with her table manners?" Weiss: "They're atrocious. I overheard her feeding off Jaune the other night, and there were these obscene slobbering and gagging noises. It...

  14. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Fate is a Two Way Door

    Salem: "So, here you are at last. Mankind's greatest heroes. Do you even know who you fight alongside with, Ozma?" *Salem stands alone at her castle. She smiles and looks over the assembled heroes; teams RWBY and JNR, Qrow and Ozpin, Arturia and the Knights, Nick and his team, Tai, and...

  15. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Cinder's trauma with Cinder-puppet and Ruby's issues with the team cat should take center stage.

  16. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune as the reincarnated Orochimaru: "Scrub, get on my level." Isabel: *freaked out* "What?" Jaune: "Nothing, nothing, it's not like this is painfully amateurish to one of my caliber and I would have fed such a fool to Manda bit by bit."

  17. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Blake: "You're safe, Weiss. NTR bastards never go for the bratty ojousamas first." Weiss: "What's that supposed to mean?!" Blake: "Now, someone like Pyrrha or Yang or Ruby? Totally in their strikezone! But...but NTR bastards can also go for aloof and nosy bookworms and foreigners...and...and I'm...

  18. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune should be using all his no-doubt ill-gotten familial wealth to help the deserving faunus. Why Jaune should take financial advice from an ex-terrorist activist is another matter entirely. Velvet: "Breakers-damned hippies! Get a job like the rest of us!"

  19. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Isabel: "Well, she was one bad day away from becoming a supervillain." Ruby: "...Eh?" Isabel: "Her motto was "Can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter'." Ruby: "EH?!" Isabel: "Every Halloween, she'd hang out at the terminal patients' ward at the Vale Hospital..." Ruby: "That...that doesn't...

  20. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune creatively reinterprets Blake's words to hilarious effect. Blake: "Wha...what do you mean, 'it's time to conquer Menagerie'?!" Velvet: "We're conquering Menagerie? Sweet! Can I get in on this?" Nora: "Dibs on the volcano!" Blake: "There is no volcano in Menagerie!" Between the...
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