Astral Projecting

[hatuhsawl]

As I watched the sun set, I got a hankering for some baklava. I closed my eyes expecting to open them and see my bedroom ceiling, but I didn't. I saw the sun as it continued slipping behind the dune.

Out of nowhere, I hear a calm, almost corporate-sounding voice say:

"Hello, it seems that you are attempting to use unauthorized magics or otherwise supernatural abilities. All of your powers, magic, and abilities (even those with prior authorization) will be temporarily frozen. Please hold for a representative that can assist you in getting this situation resolved.

.......

> "You did _what_?" the voice said.

I sat there, my eyes were physically aimed at the sunset (which was almost done by the way) but they weren't really focused on it or anything as I argued with a disembodied voice. I was confused about what's going on, although admittedly part of my attitude was I was also hangry for some baklava.

"Like I said, it's _astral projection_," I sighed. "I can expel my soul from my body..."

> "Yes, I know _what_ astral projection is," the voice snapped.

I couldn't see her face, but I could just tell by the sound of her voice that it was scowling.

> "What I'm asking is, how are you doing it? I looked through our records and I see no prior authorization forms filled out, not even a special one-time emergency permission slip."

None of this made any sense to me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Her voice changed from angry/annoyed to perplexed/concerned.

> "Astral projection, crystal ball rentals, spell casting, communing with the dead, all these sort of things require the proper paperwork to be filled out before being granted. How are you astral projecting and not anything about the paperwork? Do you even know about the Bureau?" she asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, I don't have time for this, I'm going back to body." I said.

> "Hey, stop that." she snapped again. "Did you not hear the recording? All your powers are frozen, you can't do anything until this gets resolved."

"How am I going to resolve anything? I'm not even in my own body right now."

There was a pause. I don't know how long exactly it was but I started to get uncomfortable. I almost longed for her scolding, because at least I knew what was happening when I was getting yelled at.

> "Wait, you're telling me you astral projecting right now?" she asked.

"Yes, that's what I was trying to tell you."

> "I just assumed you were trying to project and we stopped you, I've never dealt with anyone who was in the middle of it."

"So can you just put me back until we get it sorted?"

> "No, your powers are frozen until we fix it, but I can't fix it while you're projecting."

"Can't you just unfreeze them, let me get back, freeze them again, and _then_ continue?"

> "You're not hearing me. Your powers can't be unfrozen until you fill out the forms and get them approved. You also can't fill out the forms until you're back in your body. You're stuck right now. This is completely out of my control. "

I froze. I couldn't actually feel my body, but I felt my stomach drop.

There was another long pause, this time even more uncomfortable.

> "I shouldn't be telling you this, but I think I know how we can fix this. This hasn't been done this way in millennia, not since way before the Bureau even existed. I've only ever heard stories about this, I don't know if they're even still around. We very likely would fail, and if we do, there'd be no forms will could fill out to save us."

> "So do you want to do it?"

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[Imperium]

Eggcelent

I've been waiting for a story about astral projection for so long man you cant even imagine

 

[iamweirdo]

I'm here for this journey.

 

[Imperium]

I'm here for this journey.

Click to shrink...

same

 

[NotaWriter]

Interesting beginning, can't wait for more

 

[ZeroTheFool]

Threadmark your chapter my guy.