Ch 1: Group Project
Director Piggot has me embedded in Winslow High to keep tabs on Sophia...
Director Piggot has me embedded in Winslow High to keep tabs on Sophia...
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User | Total |
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Eatersgrin | 23 |
Glad you liked it and this was my second post had no idea where the option was but I found it.Excellent start. Hooked me right in, and you really gave life to the characters.
One point: remember to always thread mark your chapters for easy Access.
basically turned herself into what the PRT would classify a Master 1
I know, we know it's Dirt Devil, and Ray is alluding to folks have already asked him if he's cribbing the vacuum's name. It's a joke. He jokes.The hand vacuum brand is Dirt Devil.
Nope. That would mean she had actual mind control powers. Someone with strong but mundane influence would be Master 0 - a rating Piggot herself would technically hold as a PRT Director;
Bobert is like a second engine being towed by the train, so far, but pretty soon Bobert will start 'i think I can' and start pulling things down another set of tracks. But for now a certain amount of canon, for my purposes, is necessary. Just please enjoy the ride and visit the dining car for cocktails.This is going well character wise so far, but I just feel so uncomfortable that after these three lengthy chapters everything around him seems like "Canon, but with Bob", ya know?
Same story beats and interactions but there's a scene in between of Dusty Boi doing Dusty Boi things.
And while I'm adoring said scenes, it still makes me worry that it's like those fics where the Railroad keeps chugging along, only with another passenger, do you get me?
No. You don't get to say that when you won the Teen Darwin Award of most concentrated stupidity in a day.
I think you eviscerated the poor dumb ass with words. Someone call Amy!No. You don't get to say that when you won the Teen Darwin Award of most concentrated stupidity in a day.
Your luck is great, if your brainpower and hormones working in tandem to fuck you over haven't yet given you a early damn grave.
Ray you goddamn blithering dumbass grow a brain before someone decides to splatter what little you have over the walls.
Think of your abuela Alcatraz!
When they hit the lobby themass spread out and the bugs flooded the whole space and of course the people.
Rachel's killed and we both saw how Alec reacted to the killing you options Lisa set up, fake or not.
Van, not can
*the mass
The murder in Rachels backstory wasn't a murder. It wasn't even manslaughter. She triggered when her foster parent tried to kill her puppy. Her power is to buff dogs, but she has no direct control of them at all. When her powered activated for the first time, it buffed the puppy that was well aware the foster parent was trying to kill him, and defended himself. The PRT officer who 'investigated' had her charged as if she had Mastered the dog and wielded it as a weapon. She didn't.
Nah, more like a dockworker.
This is the point where he should have killed her, she helped kidnap him, and just asserted he was a slave, that's the point where you use your newly discovered higher power level to kill your enemy."Close enough. Look, Ray, you need to return to Coil next time he requests it. I'm here to remind you and your wood polisher you both continue to belong to Coil. You're in too deep, Mr. Devil", she wiggled her painted eyebrows a few times before strolling out of the house.
This is the point where he should have killed her, she helped kidnap him, and just asserted he was a slave, that's the point where you use your newly discovered higher power level to kill your enemy.
He shouldn't even get in trouble for it with the PRT, Armsmaster has a lie detector, and a cape coming to your girlfriends house to remind you you're a slave, is about as blatant a breaking of the Unwritten rules as it gets, which make killing her self-defense.