Bride of OverMaster's Crummy Corner of Fanfiction

OverMaster · 2025-12-05T17:44:15+00:00

What Happun'? The developing team sat around the meeting table, brainstorming ideas. "So, um, The Lord of the Rings: Gollum," the lead programmer said. "Any ideas?" The non binary token raised their hand. "I identify powerfully with the plight of Gollum as a misunderstood misfit shunned by the beauty standards of heteronormative ancient society. The gaming experience should reflect that by constantly stressing the message and also by pairing Gollum up with that handsome guy, Turomir or something." "That's nice but what type of gameplay should it follow?" They blinked. "That's not my department!" The GAMER of the team seethed at them. "You're wrong, you're always wrong! The game should deliver no message! Shooting around picking women! That's what gaming should be about, not about your stupid woke shit!" "Incel!" "Go woke go broke!" "Incel incel nyah nyahhh!" "Woke woke nyah nyahhh!" They breathed furiously at each other, then ran out the meeting room to lock themselves up in the broom closet. The rest of the team winced uneasily. One of them breathed heavily. "So what kind of cart or something should Gollum steal?" "Do the orcs have kids? The game could be about Gollum running orcs down, and the kid orcs give extra points. But being ugly as hell they don't look like actual kids so the rating shouldn't be too high." "They won't let us put cars in the Lord of the Rings!" an executive shook her arms up. "Believe me, I tried!" "Those people are that outta touch? How do they keep on making money?!" Someone snapped his fingers. "Moneymaking properties, that's it!" He laughed. "The story needs that crossover element that is the future now! Superheroes are taking the world! Just imagine a game where Gollum, instead of being a pathetic weak loser like our players, has the powers of Green Lantern for them to use!" The rest of the team looked at him as if he'd just eaten his shoe. "Green Lantern Gollum, you joking?! That's the stupidest idea in the world!" "What is a Green Lantern?" another member said. "No, no, the basic idea is sound but the character choice is wrong! Green Lantern lacks public recognition!" this developer pointed towards the developer who'd just spoken. "Green Lantern lacks the spark, the Ryan Reynolds film bombed!" A guy snapped his fingers"Ryan Reynolds voicing Gollum, that's genius!" "What the project needs is a hero with a bigger profile... Superman!" the developer who'd been interrupted kept on. "Superman?" "Solve my maze if you want to rescue your precious," Saruman said. Gollum squeaked "Precioussss!" before taking off in his red and blue loincloth and red tattered cloak. "Up, up, and away...!" He began flying through rings. One of the writers sighed. "Perhaps the idea of doing a game about Gollum is stupid to begin with..." "You're fired!" the highest executive at the table shouted. The guy brought from the Japanese division snickered while the prior guy was kicked out by Security. "Ku ku ku, you filthy gaijin are so clueless like ever!" he said. "What makes money is... Pachinko! Gollum Pachinko!" "Not here in America!" "Hai, that's why you remain savages! Then there's the next best thing... A Gollum Dating Simulator! With plenty of bishoujo to select a path! Human heroine! Elf heroine! Dark elf heroine! Orc heroine! Goblin heroine! Troll Tsundere heroine! Hobbit Yamato Nadeshiko heroine! Dragon Loli heroine! Oni heroine! Kappa heroine!" "There aren't any Onis or Kappas in Middle Earth!" "There is now!" "Komamura-san, have you ever looked at Gollum?" He shrugged. "Dattebayo, looks are no problem! As with all fantasy stories, you don't see the protagonist, it's in first person perspective and you are isekaied into Gollum so you don't need being bothered by his awful Gaijin people personality!" The graphic designer facepalmed. "There's no point on calling it 'Gollum' then!" "I One Time Was Ran Down by Truck-kun, Now Reborn as Bishounen Gollum I NTR Aragorn, Boromir, Gandalf, and Legolas I Prove the Superiority of Those Born in Japan!" Komamura-san gestured wildly, lost in his own world. A hand raised shyly. "Retro Gollum? Retro is all the rage now!" "That's not a bad idea, we could do it as a low budget project and pocket most of the money. We just skin the Atari 2600 ET with a Gollum sprite and everyone will say it's so bad it's good and--" An assassin sent by the Tolkien burst in, stabbed him in the back, and fled. There was silence around the table. "Let's just go with a stealth action game, what is the worst it could do?" "We would like to sincerely apologize for the underwhelming experience many of you have had with The Lord of Ring: Gollum upon its release. We acknowledge and deeply regret that the game did not meet the expectations we set for ourselves or for our dedicated community. Please accept our sincere apologies for any disappointment this may have caused. "Our goal as a studio, and as passionate The Lord of Ring fans, has always been to tell a compelling and immersive story-driven adventure. Crafting a story with Middle-earth as our playground has been the greatest honor — and the biggest challenge we have faced so far. "At Daedalic, we understand that a game's success relies on the enjoyment and satisfaction of its players. We genuinely value your feedback and have been actively listening to your voices, reading your comments, and analyzing the constructive criticism and suggestions you have provided. Our development team has been working diligently to address the bugs and technical issues many of you experienced. We are committed to providing you with patches that will allow you to enjoy the game to its fullest potential. "Once again, we deeply apologize for any inconvenience caused, and we appreciate your understanding during this time. " ----- Thanks to Matt McMuscles for the inspiration.

Appendix Dragon Ball New

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OverMaster

Well worn.

Wednesday at 10:14 PM

It's no Rocket Science.

Vegeta grinned, accumulating chi in an outstretched hand.

"Your father was an average warrior, but a brilliant scientist, Kakarrot!" he said mockingly.

Nappa blinked. "What? Sorry, no."

Vegeta frowned back at him. "What was that?"

"O Prince, Kakarrot's father Bardock was not an average warrior but a brilliant scientist. He was an average warrior and... That's all he was! Perhaps you're thinking of Banana the father of Coconut."

Vegeta hummed. "Is that so? I thought Banana was the father of Coliflor?"

"Sorry, but no, that was Brussels," Nappa said.

"How could a banana be the father of a coconut?" Goku asked.

"Shut up, don't take it literally! See, that's why you're not the son of a brilliant scientist!" Vegeta said.

"On the contrary, someone ignoring all about botany would be the one arguing for a banana being related to a --" Goku began.

Vegeta threw the energy disk at him.

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Bride of OverMaster's Crummy Corner of Fanfiction

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