Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[FurikoMaru]

Does that mean Ninja Neo Serenity is around here somewhere?

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Nah. I think I'll save her for a Kimimaro Quest.

Drum Puppet is hilarious, and I thought bee bloodline was an Iwa thing? I mean, what else would someone named Ponzu use?

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Her sick licks? ^_^; I just called her Ponzu because apparently Sand parents think sauces make cute girl names.

 

[Vindictus]

> ) > ) > ) > ) >

Now, Vindictus, you have my permission to ship. 8)

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Welp. MC has officially been overshadowed by awesome.

Hmm. I wonder how a matchup between your Dante!Gaara and my Vergil!Naruto would go?

... Speaking of, I really need to update Stylish Quest.

 

[uju32]

Welp.
Gaara is a fucking nightmare.
Thank God we took Bringer of Darkness; given who designed it, it's the only non-senjutsu genjutsu I can think of that might have an effect here.
Odds are his bijuu might still break him out of it, but it's our only hope in a hypothetical matchup.
We're gonna need seals to disrupt his sand control and genjutsu to blind him, and then we'd only have even odds even if we broke out summons and everything.
Maybe.
We need Ranton.

His sister is a better matchup; she still comfortably outranges us, and has a summoning contract as well, but we're comfortably faster, and between Throne and genjutsu, we have a good chance of putting her down.
Which is why we need a high-rank Construct, not just a bunch of low-rank ones.

Kankuro means we need to take an interest in Poisons; fortunately we already aced traps, and sensing suggests we might be able to find him despite his puppets.

....................

Why do I see an encounter with an eight year old in Kiba's future?

 

[FurikoMaru]

Welp. MC has officially been overshadowed by awesome.

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Oh, challenge accepted, motherfucker!

Hmm. I wonder how a matchup between your Dante!Gaara and my Vergil!Naruto would go?

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Your Kiba would be Gaante's bro for life, that's how the fuck that'd go.

... Speaking of, I really need to update Stylish Quest.

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Yes. Yes you do.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Which is why we need a high-rank Construct, not just a bunch of low-rank ones.

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Convince Selias, then.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Convince Selias, then.

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Did you note Unclouded's change from All constructs to just Lupin?

 

[FurikoMaru]

I'm pretty sure I did. If not, please correct me.

 

[uju32]

The full set. The Zenigata one would go insane with that many Lupins.

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Will you please switch to a single Lupin?
Given what we now know about our opponents, a bunch of lower-level constructs will not be enough.

 

[Selias]

Will you please switch to a single Lupin?
Given what we now know about our opponents, a bunch of lower-level constructs will not be enough.

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Is a single Lupin even an option?

-> [5] What's say you add some more... 'exotic' predators to the mix?
--> [3] One of each
--> [3] Multiples (Lupin!)
-> [1] Figure out if you can leak your mental static into a memory palace and subject people to it intentionally.
-> [4] Write in: We need some kind of construct that's really good at chasing people down. Sort of like the Konoha police, except even more annoyingly single-minded in the pursuit. And for some reason, you're remembering that pin from Tanzaku Gai...

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It looks like the winning options are a single Zenigata, and then several Lupins, or Lupin, Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko. Besides, our opponents that could enter our minds (Itachi, Tobi, Madara, other Yamanakas) are all higher level than us, so they could probably easily defeat a single enemy. At least with multiple constructs, we could have them attacked from all sides (plus from a distance, thanks to Jigen). Not to mention that we can probably upgrade them later (correct me if I'm wrong, Furiko).

 

[uju32]

Is a single Lupin even an option?
It looks like the winning options are a single Zenigata, and then several Lupins, or Lupin, Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko. Besides, our opponents that could enter our minds (Itachi, Tobi, Madara, other Yamanakas) are all higher level than us, so they could probably easily defeat a single enemy. At least with multiple constructs, we could have them attacked from all sides (plus from a distance, thanks to Jigen). Not to mention that we can probably upgrade them later (correct me if I'm wrong, Furiko).

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Single character is an option.
We already have an army of Sasukes, so numbers is not a need; a higher level construct, who can handle higher level opposition, is.
We can add the others later.

Besides, Furiko promised a hidden bonus for Lupin.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Is a single Lupin even an option?

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Hmm.

Would the Fab Four constructs be of fairly low quality if they're only one of each? If we choose a single character but make multiple incarnations, would that mean that the one person we put in retains more skills or kicks more ass?

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One of each gives you a nice wide variety of surprises to throw at people, while making multiples of a single person means you have a set of fully-refined constructs that can act individually or as a hivemind, or collapse in on themselves to be one person.

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When you make multiples of Lupin, what you're making is one nearly-full person, and then copying them. With one of each you get four not-even-close-to-full people who're only good for predetermined strategies.

Besides, our opponents that could enter our minds (Itachi, Tobi, Madara, other Yamanakas) are all higher level than us, so they could probably easily defeat a single enemy. At least with multiple constructs, we could have them attacked from all sides (plus from a distance, thanks to Jigen). Not to mention that we can probably upgrade them later (correct me if I'm wrong, Furiko).

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You can upgrade them later, sure, if that's what you want. But what makes you think there's going to be a later?

Edit: Rragh, and Selias retires for the night, to return only in the morning. -_-

 

[Selias]

When you make multiples of Lupin, what you're making is one nearly-full person, and then copying them. With one of each you get four not-even-close-to-full people who're only good for predetermined strategies.
You can upgrade them later, sure, if that's what you want. But what makes you think there's going to be a later?

Edit: Rragh, and Selias retires for the night, to return only in the morning. -_-

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Nah, I'm still here. Just haven't checked in until now. Alright, I'll switch to the Lupins. We can add the gang later, right?

 

[katreus]

You can change my Shintenshin vote to Lupins. I confess I don't understand how helpful the dude is going to be in a preliminary 1v1 fight unless he's like doing conscious running commentary and offering skills / plans vs. an actual combat move to change the battlefield to our mind, but whatever.

 

[Vindictus]

You can change my Shintenshin vote to Lupins. I confess I don't understand how helpful the dude is going to be in a preliminary 1v1 fight unless he's like doing conscious running commentary and offering skills / plans vs. an actual combat move to change the battlefield to our mind, but whatever.

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AFAIK he's only really useful when we trap someone in our mind-maze.

... So, yeah, I'm not seeing how that's going to help right now any more then forcing an opponent to quit because mindrape, but I guess Hymn and Uju have something in mind.

 

[uju32]

AFAIK he's only really useful when we trap someone in our mind-maze.
... So, yeah, I'm not seeing how that's going to help right now any more then forcing an opponent to quit because mindrape, but I guess Hymn and Uju have something in mind.

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Less mind rape, more chakra-exhaustion.
It's a viable strategy against anyone short of Gaara the bijuu boy.
And our current swarm of constructs won't cut it alone; they can punk mooks, but I count at least one jounin+ level opponent, and multiple special jounin class fighters.
We need better constructs if we're even going to make it through to the arena.


Oh yes, something we missed.
ANKO implied there was another stage after this one when she told us not to get blood in her tower because it would look better in the arena.
That suggests there's going to be a fight here, and another later.

 

[iamnuff]

so why are people voting for a mental army anyway?

don't they just defend our mind? which is pretty useless in this exam.

unless we come across Itachi or someone else from our clan...

 

[uju32]

so why are people voting for a mental army anyway?
don't they just defend our mind? which is pretty useless in this exam.
unless we come across Itachi or someone else from our clan...

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Itachi is a good point.
They are an offensive weapon as well; we already know the Sound girl is very bad news(genjutsu, unspecified).

 

[iamnuff]

Itachi is a good point.
They are an offensive weapon as well; we already know the Sound girl is very bad news(genjutsu, unspecified).
And even more to the point, there's a good chance that you can turn over autopilot to a fully realized Construct.
Remember those times when we speak in red?

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the autopilot thing makes sense. whats this about the oto girl though.


how is having voices in you head an offensive power?

If we could put them in other people's heads then perhaps, but our clan jutsu is barely workable.

I really don't want to try using it in combat until we can throw out our soul and retrieve it in the space of 2 seconds.

not unless our opponent is already restrained anyway.

 

[uju32]

the autopilot thing makes sense. whats this about the oto girl though.
how is having voices in you head an offensive power?
If we could put them in other people's heads then perhaps, but our clan jutsu is barely workable.
I really don't want to try using it in combat until we can throw out our soul and retrieve it in the space of 2 seconds.
not unless our opponent is already restrained anyway.

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We don't have to put our constructs in their heads; I suspect it's an advanced skill.
We can invite them into ours.
This is what the GM said:

Congratulations, you have just chosen a specialization in Constructs.
I could write a snippet about this, but I figure I said I'd tell you about it if you picked it, and that's what I should do.

Basically, from all your focus on trying to capture the moment just as it was, with all the emotional intensity you both felt, you got quite good at making your mental Sasuke seem lifelike. Granted, he only has the emotions he had in that short period of time... for now, anyway... but still. What you have preserved is more than a memory, even if it's still less than a full mental clone.

Constructs borrow a tiny fraction of your yin energy to mimic lifelike behaviour inside your head; they are most commonly used as part of a Yamanaka family jutsu I'll think of a poncy name for later. The basic idea of it is that when encountering a 3-5 group of mooks, career genin and the like, you trap them in your head the way your Dad did to you when he showed you his Matrix, and instead of the ninja waving to the guests, they wail the shit out of them.

Now tell me. What happens if you die in the Matrix?

Okay, okay, no, you can't kill people with your brain. ) But you can overwork their imaginations (read: yin reserves) so much that when you drop them back into their own heads, they'll wish they were dead. You might even be able to get it to the point that you can put people into comas - your Dad can manage that in a fight, provided he only has to do it to one target.

It's basically Tsukuyomi as designed by a Spark.

But that's just one thing you can use constructs for. Sakura unconsciously uses one as a vent to get rid of her more problematic emotions and opinions, the Hokage uses his to honour fallen friends and 'get their advice', some ANBU or, formerly, KMP personnel use them to model their targets' behaviour or compare various pieces of testimony at once, and Ebisu uses his to practice talking to women.
O.O PLANS! TO CUSTOMIZE LESSON PLANS IS WHAT HE MEANT TO SAY!

tl;dr: The Fab Four better get the sofabed pulled out, they're gonna have company in your head.
You can still learn to do the other stuff, too, but constructs are going to be the easiest for you.

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And if you go back to when Inoichi first demonstrated it HERE, he didn't use Shintenshin; he used a different set of handseals.
So I believe we can use it in combat; just requires eye contact and the requisite handseals.

 

[The Nobody]

[X] Gather up the Konoha nin (Office Lady, HSC and Lee’s group too if they make it), and run a debrief on the three enemy teams: Whispering Mist, the Sand clan, and the Sound dudes. Poll them for anything we missed; office gossip, book knowledge, Akimichi spy-ring knowledge (covertly), Maito Gai gossip, whatever. That won’t noticeably cut into our training time, and this is still a ninja game; information can save lives.

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I'm voting for this. This is my vote. This option has my full support. With both hands.

I'm actually expecting we're going to get new info this way. After all, it's not as if Ino is Jiraya, Jr (yet).

I don't remember if Ino knows how the Third Stage is going to be one-on-one fighting yet, but I'm sure she'll figure it out soon. Possibly with Shikamaru's help. Having said that, how about a plan like this: make the Gaara fight against Suigetsu as soon as possible by carfully manipulating the contestants, throwing the fights where necessary and, if possible, messing around with the brackets? I know it's ridiculous, but is it ridiculous enough to work?

Also, for some reason, I think I should notice that Ino doesn't have any compulsions or obligations to win should she fight with Gaara.

 

[iamnuff]

We don't have to put our constructs in their heads; I suspect it's an advanced skill.
We can invite them into ours.
This is what the GM said:And if you go back to when Inoichi first demonstrated it HERE, he didn't use Shintenshin; he used a different set of handseals.
So I believe we can use it in combat; just requires eye contact and the requisite handseals.

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but we don't actually know that technique, right?

So it's not going to help us in our upcoming fights, right?

lets use our training slots on something immediately useful. THEN we can focus on long-term.

 

[Guile]

Shintenshin or mind guys, neither is going to be a tremendous help in a one on one fight. So, the question is if we want the utility offered by Shintenshin or the protection offered by Lupin/Zenigata.

 

[uju32]

but we don't actually know that technique, right?
So it's not going to help us in our upcoming fights, right?
lets use our training slots on something immediately useful. THEN we can focus on long-term.

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Yes we do; ask the GM.
And our specialization, the thing we are best at, is Constructs.
Leverage it.

That's before you even consider the possibilities of drawing on the abilities of your head guys intentionally, instead of just having it leak through.

Shintenshin or mind guys, neither is going to be a tremendous help in a one on one fight. So, the question is if we want the utility offered by Shintenshin or the protection offered by Lupin/Zenigata.

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Pretty sure I disagree.
Inoichi uses it to lolnope single targets; it just requires eye contact, like Sharingan genjutsu.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I'm voting them for entertainment and because developing the Yamanaka stuff puts us closer to ripping out the geas.

But a large part of my motivation for Zenigata and Lupin is that Furiko respectively loves the idea and promises something fun. And if we get what's essentially a copy of the real Lupin, we might more easily gain the real Lupin's skills and I don't think we've QUITE got everything from him.

There's not really too much immediately useful to the fight that we can take yet.

Although I'll grant we probably need to take Mind-Body Switch sooner or later to progress with Yamanaka stuff, Throne is more entertaining and recalling more Past Life is good.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Actually....there may be one choice that might be a start to adequately prepare for Gaara. It only has a chance of working because it's Dante!Gaara, but still. It has to do with Throne.

But instead of Lupin or Zenigata fighting Dante, get Goemon in a sword fight with Dante!Gaara. I'm not sure Goemon would win, because DANTE as GAARA, but Gaara might end up humoring the thing more because hey, sword fight against someone worth a damn even if it's just in our head!

Not that burning off Gaara's Yin chakra means very much, but....eh. Who knows, maybe by some miracle Goemon actually pulls out a victory (recursive Z-Slash for the win!) and Gaara cedes the fight outside our head because of good sportsmanship.

 

[uju32]

Actually....there may be one choice that might be a start to adequately prepare for Gaara. It only has a chance of working because it's Dante!Gaara, but still. It has to do with Throne.
But instead of Lupin or Zenigata fighting Dante, get Goemon in a sword fight with Dante!Gaara. I'm not sure Goemon would win, because DANTE as GAARA, but Gaara might end up humoring the thing more because hey, sword fight against someone worth a damn even if it's just in our head!
Not that burning off Gaara's Yin chakra means very much, but....eh. Who knows, maybe by some miracle Goemon actually pulls out a victory (recursive Z-Slash for the win!) and Gaara cedes the fight outside our head because of good sportsmanship.

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Eh.
I'm hoping for more of a Goemon takeover/bleedover, just like we had Lupin bleeding through against Sukaha.
Real world swordfight with Ranton-enhanced weapon.

That's why I think it's worth trying for a fullsize Construct.

But it would require successfully emplacing chakra suppression seals to blunt Gaara's bijuu chakra/sand manipulation.
Which would require research.

 

[Guile]

Pretty sure I disagree.

Inoichi uses it to lolnope single targets; it just requires eye contact, like Sharingan genjutsu.

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It may just be fanon speaking, but doesn't canon Ino need to make the handseal, target eye contact through the handseal, and then it takes several seconds to actually assume control?

Learning Shintenshin in a week isn't going to make us a master like Inoichi, it probably won't even make us as skillful with it as canon Ino, who focused on it to the exclusion of everything else.

 

[uju32]

It may just be fanon speaking, but doesn't canon Ino need to make the handseal, target eye contact through the handseal, and then it takes several seconds to actually assume control?
Learning Shintenshin in a week isn't going to make us a master like Inoichi, it probably won't even make us as skillful with it as canon Ino, who focused on it to the exclusion of everything else.

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That's for Shintenshin.
The unnamed jutsu that employs Throne didn't seem to have that constraint, and Ino's Hand Seals rating is obscene at 4.6.
But I can't say for certain; Furiko will have to weigh in here.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Eh.
I'm hoping for more of a Goemon takeover/bleedover, just like we had Lupin bleeding through against Sukaha.
Real world swordfight with Ranton-enhanced weapon.

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You mean Sorato. Also, I will be extremely surprised if that works. Ignoring the fact that Goemon is bigger than us and his style is tailored to his frame, our Strength rating sucks ass. We've got speed going for us and that's about it. We even passed up on sword training from the very beginning despite the opportunities in favor of Nyango.

The difference in our frame is also one of the reasons we got screwed by Sorato, because we didn't feel like we quite fit in our body. And that was Lupin, who really was us, as opposed to Goemon, who we just knew really well.

So yeah. If Furiko does allow, great, but that would be stretching things pretty far.

But it would require successfully emplacing chakra suppression seals to blunt Gaara's bijuu chakra/sand manipulation.
Which would require research.

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Apparently Dante!Gaara can call up swords not made of sand. So....yeah, if it's a physical confrontation, I'm not sure we should even bother. It's Dante. Right not Gaara is a close combat monster and we are at best apeing someone a lot better than us in the hopes of standing a chance. Seems to me we have better odds of just trying to suck him in and get him to play along because hey, this is pretty fun and Gaara's likely to humor it because it's fun.

 

[FurikoMaru]

[X] Seen a lot of things in this ol' world

As far as you can figure it, your big disadvantage - which you're sure the Kiri-nin will notice even if Temari doesn't - is your chakra deficiency.

It's a minor medical conundrum that no one's really been able to work out; you have stamina way beyond anyone you know short of Chouji's dad, and even entering puberty and sleeping for longer hours (mostly in the morning, to your mother and Ami's mutual chagrin), you aren't terribly clumsy or easily fatigued... and yet, you have no more chakra than a normal genin without your stamina. You're like a house without insulation; you only retain the excess chakra you produce half or a quarter as efficiently as a normal person.

Dad has head-guy-related theories that you've been given natural limits so that you don't get too strong too quickly and accidentally blow yourself up, but the fact is particularly large chakra reserves weren't in the cards even for a normal Yamanaka. Dad certainly doesn't have them.

The only reason it's noteworthy in your case is that you have an elemental kekkei genkai. Normally that by itself would make you a ninjutsu-focused fighter; there are ninja parents who would sacrifice an eye to get their children a force-multiplier like that. It's arguably only because you're a Yamanaka - and the heiress at that - that you've been permitted to pursue your more subtle interests this long.

If you could find a way to get some 'insulation', you could have jounin-tier Ranton ninjutsu within three years at the outside. You may like infiltration better, but raw combat ability like that is definitely nothing to sneeze at.

In the meantime, you have a summoning contract that you need a serious boost to make the best use of.

One thing's for sure, you aren't working for it. Just the time you and Lee spent training up each other's speed this month has taught you that much; hard work sucks. You need a shortcut, and you need it now.

The library in the tower doesn't have any books on biological seals for use on living beings, and most of the books you find there tend to imply the practice is semi-illegal (in that 'if you get caught before you make it work in a non-fatal way we will fuck your shit up' kind of way) for anyone under the rank of jounin. Well, no matter; that's unexplored territory for you for now, there's no way you'd be able to rig something up in the next four days without examining Anko, and to be honest, the day you'd rather examine a curse mark on a gorgeous young woman than her other qualities is the day you lie down and die.

Luckily, there are a few books on regular storage seals and the ways they can be adapted to hold elemental chakra. Seems the usual way is to draw up the seal and then fire a jutsu into it, to be released at some later date. Either that or just fill the seal with a huge amount of generic elemental chakra and release it as 'fuck everyone in general' bomb. That method has its charms, no question, but that kind of attack is just begging for your opponent to turn it back on you.

On the subject of raw chakra storage, the books are strangely silent. Which you choose to take as a good sign; if it were expressly forbidden it would at least be mentioned. And it can't be that it's so high-tier that it's entered the realm of genuinely secret stuff - you've only been thinking about this for a couple weeks and you've already thought of a couple of methods to try that won't hurt anyone. Probably.

Some of the stuff said about people who make seals expressly to reflect enemies' jutsu onto the caster gives you the idea that the simplest way to store your chakra for later moulding and use would be to have Shikamaru draw up the seal; if you make a standard seal yourself it'll just interpret you depositing your chakra as you telling it to dump its nonexistent contents.

Voluntelling Shikamaru to do the actual seal-work also frees up some more time to help the others and work on your other preparations. Of course, that does mean you're dependent on the single laziest person you know; he'll probably make two and then call you greedy for asking for more. Granted, those two will probably also be of really good quality, meaning you'll be able to vary the amount of chakra you want to draw out at a time, but if you make the seals yourself by other methods, you're pretty sure you can crank out at least half a dozen of medium-to-good quality, giving you access to more chakra spaced out over time anyway.

The specific method you have in mind for this is mid-way between the difficult option and the easy route. Basically, you get Menka, Tsumuji-san, Miun and several other cats of a combative cast of mind to mix their chakra with yours so that the seal will accept the energy you want to store, and then later, when you cast Kuchiyose, it'll take less chakra overall to bring them to you, because part of their own chakra will already be onsite and set to help them get to wherever you happen to be. This does have the drawback that you can only use the seal for summoning, but really, it's not like you're going to learn a Water or Wind technique in the next three days; that's ridiculous.

Finally, the difficult-and-impressive option is to design your own seal, one that'll only accept your Chakra Conduit Technique as the signal to loose the goods. You'll probably only have one scroll in the end, what with how long it's likely to take you to get the coding right, but when you're finished you'll have a source of fuel, stored in a good-quality seal like the ones Shika-chan would have made, that no one can steal. The thought definitely appeals to the miser in you. Plus you know you're not likely to make the best showing in the outright fisticuffs department, so any extra nods you can pick up will be worth their weight in gold.

Which option do you go with?

[X] Go bug Shika-chan to make you some seals. Bribe him with intel, threaten to sic his mom on him, but get those scrolls.

[X] Hey, Miun-chan, can I ask you a favour?

[X] Her mind is made out of keys...

=

[X] I spend all my time chasin' you around

If little miss Oto really is some kind of genjutsu phenom, a tune-up for the Throne is definitely in order.

You've thought about mental security before, obviously, but it's kind of a leap from a few hundred Sasukes poised to go sickhouse on some dudes to an actual hunter-nin construct.

Initially you went for a traditional hunter-nin look; mask, body armour, the usual. But there was something about it that creeped you out too much. Maybe it's just you're not used to the featurelessness of the faceguard - Konoha doesn't have a hunter-nin corps of its own, so it's not out of the question that you subconsciously associate swirly masks with 'the enemy'.

Or maybe it's just too close to an ANBU captain's uniform for you to be comfortable with it.

Whatever the reason, you scrap the concept pretty quick.

So, barefaced, then. Hm. Actually, now that you think of it, maybe 'nonthreatening' is the way to go here. Silly, even. The false-Sasukes are pretty gloomy company, all things considered. They may have more personality now that you've gone back and edited them, but they're still the result of your work as an immature Throne user, and it makes conversation pointless, if not depressing. You can still see the seams; you can tell which parts were the original construct and which parts were added later.

You want something a little... fancier, this time. Something that was made correctly from the start. A construct you could actually talk to.

Someone who's competent enough, but who's good for a laugh.

Grinning, you add eyelashes like Lee's to the face.

Yeah, like Lee. Someone who doesn't give up.

=

"Hey, Ami? If I go rogue-"

"Sasuke-kun and I will retrieve you before we notify the Hokage, don't worry."

"... why do you have a plan for if I become a nuke-nin?"

"I don't. I have a general-purpose Ino Has A Terrible Idea She Thinks Is Brilliant plan. Why, what was your question?"

"... never mind." ^_^;

=

Someone who knows you well. And trusts you anyway, against their better judgement.

=

Neji's expression doesn't vary much (not that you're complaining; there isn't enough frown in the world to ruin that face, meow), but this particular shade of 'why are you talking to me' is a new one.

"'If you became Hokage'? Is that your ambition, then?"

"Pfft, hell no!" You lean against the wall of the gym. "It's just a hypothetical. What would you do? How would you react if after the chuunin exams it turned out I performed so well that Sandaime-sama went into semi-retirement and designated me his heir?"

"I would endeavour to determine if he and his advisers had been placed under a genjutsu."

You blink, and smile. "Really? You think that much of my skill, that I could take out the Professor?"

His eyes widen, and he lets out the small grunt of someone who's just given an accidental compliment. Heh. He's cute when he's startled.

"Say rather that I think that little of your scruples." He coughs. "If I've answered your question to your satisfaction, please leave me to my exercises."

=

But never quite admits it.

=

"No," Tenten says flatly, "I will not help you with your exam preparations. If you weren't ready to compete you shouldn't have entered."

"Mou, but sempai-"

"And another thing," she says, poking a kunai in your face, "I'm not your damn sempai. We were in the same taijutsu class at the Academy for one year, that's all. Neji and Lee might have to put up with you but not me, got that?"

"This really is my day for beautiful women threatening me, I guess," you comment with a nervous giggle. "No problem. I'll come back when you're not busy."

"I'll stop being busy," Tenten shouts, flinging the kunai at you just as you manage to close the door, "when I'm dead!"

=

And who might actually hate you a little bit. ^_^; Keeps ya honest, y'know?

"MATTE, INO!"

Now you just need someone for him to chase so he isn't always after you.

=

[X] But even still I can't say much, because I know we're all the same; oh yes, we all seek out to satisfy those thrills

His voice is right in your ear.

"Evenin', cutie."

"WAH!"

"Wah!"

He hops out of the way of your fan with a noise of surprise that mirrors your own. "Oi oi oi, I surrender! It's just me."

"Wh-what the hell is that supposed to mean, 'just you'?" you ask, flailing your tessen at him in disbelief. "How do you even have a concept of 'you'? The Sasukes don't know that they're Sasuke and even the old fella doesn't have real self-awareness yet, so what the hell are you?!"

... okay, you have to admit, it's harder to be frightened of him when he pouts. "Aw, don't be so cold, Ino-chan. Isn't this what you were trying to do anyway?"

You don't let your guard down (in fact you kai twice, just to be sure), but you do take a moment to calm your nerves and centre yourself a bit. You're the Queen that sits on the Throne at the Heart of the Mountain, ruler of the World Inside the Gourd.

"... well, yeah, I guess," you say finally, still perplexed, "but I only started a day ago! How are you already...?"

He grins. "Maa, sorry about that; I got impatient. Once you got going on this little project I just knew I had to move house, so to speak." He stretches. "You had a good start, but you were takin' too long, so I filled in the details myself."

"'Move house'? Wait a second, if you're really..." You aren't going to say the name; you aren't going to hope that much. "Then you came here from where? The past? Another world? Which is it?"

"Nah, nowhere that far away; just down the block," he says cheerfully, taking a seat on your windowsill. "I would've been here sooner, but you really took your sweet time taking full advantage of this RPG Maker setup you've got here."

"Down the block?"

"Metal Gear?"

"Ninja Info Cards?" you ask before you can stop yourself. You pull back, blinking as the man in the red jacket starts to laugh. "Okay, seriously, why does that always happen? Why do I know what a Metal Gear is, why do I know what Ninja Info Cards are, and what the hell are you doing in my head?!"

"I live here," he says, shrugging. "Call it a shark-jumping moment for this whole memory palace deal if you want, but despite appearances, I'm you and you're me."

You...

He's...




"... bullshit," you say flatly. "There is no way I'm secretly a hairy middle-aged guy who always needs Goemon-san to rescue him."

"Urk-! M-middle-aged?!" He jumps to his feet and his hands ball into fists at his side. "I'm eternally young, I'll have you know! You're not in any position to be taking potshots at people's age, you brat!"

"I notice you don't argue about the hairiness," you snicker.

He smirks. "Pardon me for bein' a grown man! I guess I shouldn't expect some flatchested midget chasin' prissy bishounen to understand the appeal of maturity."

"I'm not a midget! Just 'cause I'm not all gangly like Ami..."

"I notice you don't argue about the flatchestedness," he echoes you with a catty sidelong glance.

Something inside you flickers.

"... I need to stop doing this to myself," you say under your breath, and turn to go.

"Oh?" he asks. "Still not convinced, then? All right. How about some proof?"

You look back to ask what he's doing, but he's gone.

=

You wake up in the bathroom, leaning against the wall, and for a moment you don't know what the hell is going on.

I've never sleep-walked before...

Cracking your neck, you go over to the sink to splash some water on your face.

It's only when you see the pink smudges coming off on your hands that you look in the mirror.

A curly moustache, a cartoon tongue, and little horns, all done in dark pink.

Your eyes are wide.

... Lupin?

How's Annie? he asks impishly.

Tears roll hot and heavy down your face.

Constructs are a fraction of the mind, you recall Dad dad's introductory lecture when you first showed him the prototype inner-Sasuke. They cannot simulate a whole mind and direct the body.

Which means...

You wrap your arms around yourself and sink to the floor.

Welcome home, kid.

"Heh. I guess I am, aren't I?"

"Ino, have you seen my lipstick?" Ami asks from out in the room. "It's a little black cylinder about two and a half inches long, with the Hatsumomo logo on the side and Strawberry Pie written on one end?"

... did you think to grab the makeup remover before you locked us in here?

You can always blame it on your imaginary friend.

Fuck you.

You really think this is the right time to rub one out?

"Ino?" Ami knocks on the door. "You okay in there?"

"I'm fine," you say, "just trying to drown myself in the toilet is all..."

[X] What do?