Cu-nosuba: God’s Blessing on This Lancer’s Holy Grail War!

[Davos]

When you think about it the Rule breaker thing is mostly about a mechanic wich while out of pocket isn't without merits, I mean when Rin made a contract with Saber she had all the Command seals that were lost from what I remember, could be wrong was some time since read the VN or watched the anime.

The problem with Shirou being related to Ritsuka is that there is no basis aside from her hair color, the dates not match, this one was from a singularity and even the way Chaldea makes their travel to those singularities goes against this, if it was a situation like Redline I would understand but Chaldea's systems are made to avoid those situations

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Wasn't Rin's case just it being a regular summoning after Caster died?

I'm probably just sipping silly juice with the Grandpa thing and rolling with it.

 

[Trihexa97]

When you think about it the Rule breaker thing is mostly about a mechanic wich while out of pocket isn't without merits, I mean when Rin made a contract with Saber she had all the Command seals that were lost from what I remember, could be wrong was some time since read the VN or watched the anime.

The problem with Shirou being related to Ritsuka is that there is no basis aside from her hair color, the dates not match, this one was from a singularity and even the way Chaldea makes their travel to those singularities goes against this, if it was a situation like Redline I would understand but Chaldea's systems are made to avoid those situations

Click to shrink...

She did not saber volunteered to stay around if she did get more she would need to forcefully take or be given command seals from the remaining living master or there corpses, or the grail itself replenish them when she made a contract with saber. The fate sites are giving me 2 different answers and I don't feel like replaying the VN. As for castor getting saber with rule breaker what actually happen was she severed the contract with shirou and then kidnapped saber put her in a dress and then preceded to tortured her to agree in forming a contract with her. Rule breaker only severed the master servant bond it does not make a new one the servant has to agree to the contract for it to form which the grail (I'm going with the grail gives new command seals) will grant seals for the new contract.

 

[Sliverhero]

Considering kazuma was putting nails in his own coffin consistently turn about is only fair. I want to know if eris going to get punished by the other gods for breaking so many rules for kazuma Considering it was both said and shown by aqua that she wasn't that high on the deity food chain.

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Honestly it how things are the blame will be on alaya. Her need for revenge cause the doom of all.

 

[alextheconqueror]

Wasn't Rin's case just it being a regular summoning after Caster died?

I'm probably just sipping silly juice with the Grandpa thing and rolling with it.

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More like they made a new contracted after Caster died Wich is why she got the Command seals

She did not saber volunteered to stay around if she did get more she would need to forcefully take or be given command seals from the remaining living master or there corpses, or the grail itself replenish them when she made a contract with saber. The fate sites are giving me 2 different answers and I don't feel like replaying the VN. As for castor getting saber with rule breaker what actually happen was she severed the contract with shirou and then kidnapped saber put her in a dress and then preceded to tortured her to agree in forming a contract with her. Rule breaker only severed the master servant bond it does not make a new one the servant has to agree to the contract for it to form which the grail (I'm going with the grail gives new command seals) will grant seals for the new contract.

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She also used a Command seal to make Saber attack Shirou and Rin with Excalibur so she got the Command seals when using Rule Breaker

 

[Davos]

More like they made a new contracted after Caster died Wich is why she got the Command seals


She also used a Command seal to make Saber attack Shirou and Rin with Excalibur so she got the Command seals when using Rule Breaker

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Wasn't there also the thing with Archer's 'betrayal' and him being stabbed by Medea?

 

[alextheconqueror]

Wasn't there also the thing with Archer's 'betrayal' and him being stabbed by Medea?

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Yep, from what I see Rule Breaker severs the original contract and make a new one with Medea, it's just that you need more than just CS to have a servant fight for you

 

[BloodFartMoon]

I am actually finding this funny more because kazuma can't get revenge for his really deserve headshot he got. He was going to get killed eventually not a question of when but whom was going to do it

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I mean was it deserved when this mess is happening because Alaya is apparently Aqua levels of incompetent?

Also since that Shirou was using a gun was he really the FGO Shirou and not the Kazuma Singularity Shirou?

Wait that also asks the question of "who did that Shirou get with" because it isnt Rin (if its Singularity Shirou)

Also also! Killing people in Singularities doesnt matter i think? The counterforce just corrects the timeline after the fact, maybe

 

[alextheconqueror]

I mean was it deserved when this mess is happening because Alaya is apparently Aqua levels of incompetent?

Also since that Shirou was using a gun was he really the FGO Shirou and not the Kazuma Singularity Shirou?

Wait that also asks the question of "who did that Shirou get with" because it isnt Rin (if its Singularity Shirou)

Also also! Killing people in Singularities doesnt matter i think? The counterforce just corrects the timeline after the fact, maybe

Click to shrink...

That's part of the reasons for why I found that weird, alongside other things I mentioned

 

[Davos]

"Send me back." Achilles says to Goredolf as medical staff tends to Jack, Amakusa, and Darnic.

"W-why do you want to go back?" Goredolf asks, shaky from Achilles' glare.

"I need to kill a red head…slowly if possible."

"A-absolutely not! They are a master and-" Goredolf stammers when a hand grips his neck, limiting the air he can breath.

"I'm not asking!" He says as Chiron grips his shoulder.

"Calm yourself Achilles; I don't believe this man has anything to do with that. We should try and gather some info first."

"You're just saying that because no one here wants to fuck us!"

"Didn't think Heroic spirits would have low self esteem." A medical staff says off hand while tending to Amakusa, making Achilles tighten his grip on Goredolf a moment.

"Language…" Jack says from the floor.

"…I thought you were unconscious…" Achilles says, now dropping Goredolf.

"We're getting there…Can we go back and kill the red haired guy too?" Jack asks with vacant eyes.

"No…they are still- wait…guy?" Goredolf asks, now confusing the Servants as a beeping is heard.

"We lost him!"



===

"How the Hell are you two related?!" Kazuma asks.

"I just told you. Grandpa."

"You know what I mean! Who the Hell did he even get with?! The only women I saw in Fuyuki are dead, dead and hate him, or moved to another world!"

"I'm not telling you my family tree! You stripped me in public, photographed it, and nearly killed me at least 3 times in less then twenty minutes now…and even if you didn't this is not the time for such a talk!" Ritsuka says as Gilgamesh laughs once more, launching a dozen weapons their way.

"Then why didn't you use that special ticket to get him out of here?!"

"I was going too, but after seeing all the Servants that want him dead, one of whom is not usually known for holding a grudge, I fear he may have enemies in Chaldea, and not just the ones I put there, also wanting to kill him now! And I doubt a beyond furious Lancelot would do well in Chaldea!"

"Why not?!"

"There are many versions of Artoria there, and he will probably wreck the place trying to kill them!" Ritsuka says, and Kazuma remains quiet after a halfhearted moment of trying to yell at her.



===



Gilgamesh pulls the knives out of Shirou's shoulders and gives him a healing tonic while firing more weapons at approaching Servants with one hand. A moment later Shirou is better.

"Thanks Gilga- Ack…" Shirou starts coughing more and more. Gilgamesh looks and sees Semiramis unleashing poison in the room.

"Don't worry. It's a quick death~." Semiramis says with a smile, prompting a dozen spears her way. Each one deflected with a shield or hastily summoned beast.

Ritsuka raises a hand and hits Shirou with a healing code.

"I shall remember this mongrel, and be kinder in your training!" Gilgamesh says, and Ritsuka nearly chokes.

===



MHX nearly cleaves Artoria with her landing cut before quickly kicking Artoria in her unarmored stomach. As she readies her shotgun to blow the Saber's head off, Mordred appears and hits the shotgun, denting the barrel and changing the trajectory of the shot to harmlessly hit a wall. MHX tries to bring it back with the recoil to Mordred's head only to find the edge of a shield coming her way. They all jump back, and now look at Mash.

"What are you doing here?!" All three ask.

"You killed father!" Mash says pointing to MHX.

"Then you can help us overc-"

"You probably troubled him." Mash says now pointing to Artoria.

"I did n- Well…Would you believe me if I said he wanted that?"

"I will not believe such a blatant lie!"

"She's not lying!" Karna yells from the other room.

"…My truthfulness settled, what are you planning?" Artoria asks.

"To kill you."

"Shouldn't you be defending your master?" Mordred asks.

"She said it was alright for me to pursue this for my personal reasons on top of you being a threat. She also has Scathach to protect her."

"Then we have a common objective!" MHX says with a smile.

"I'm killing you first!" Mash says.

"No, I am!" Mordred says, slashing at Mash. MHX goes straight for Artoria, prompting the other two to attack MHX, who alternates and juggles her two swords and shotgun while fighting all three knights, pushing back with blade and bullet, before narrowly forcing them all back.

"We all want her dead…Stop preventing me!" MHX says.

"Never!" Mordred shouts as Artoria takes a breath.

"…It is obvious which one of us is strongest. That is why I suggest we three work together to kill her and end her madness." Artoria says.

"Why do you think I would help you?" Mash asks.

"…One for all and all for one." Artoria says, drawing odd looks from the other three.

"What is that line supposed to mean here? Or are you fond of Dumas and Shakespeare?" Mash asks with a squinted eye.

"It was the words your father said to try and smooth out a situation some time ago. I believe a temporary truce to deal with this enraged Saber-" Artoria says, making MHX vibrate with a fury that can threaten the cosmos as she continues.

"Is the best course of action before deciding who can try to get my head."

"That sounds like a lie!"

"It isn't!" Karna shouts, deflating Mash for a moment.

"My…relationship with Lancelot was an odd one the last few days. But to see him stabbed in the back, especially when he regained his sanity, is cause enough for me to kill her, and then we can settle the matter regarding myself… Or do you need that prone lie detector to ascertain my words again? Or do you genuinely believe out of the three Sabers here she can be reasoned with?" Artoria asks, causing foam to form in the corner of MHX's mouth, and after a long moment, Mash and Mordred turn to MHX.

"Unbelievable…what madness is this, a Saber using a shield?! Are they infecting the other classes?!"

===



Gilgamesh would have used the chains and killed Semiramis within a second were it not for the oddest sight stunning both him and Shirou now.

"Cure Poison…Cure Poison…Cure Poison…!" Both Kazuma and Servant Kazuma say, hitting both his own side, as well as Gilgamesh and Shirou. After the third time they realize it is not accidental.

'This is even more bizarre than the prior fight back at the castle…' Gilgamesh thinks as Shirou looks on stunned.

Semiramis summons more beasts and sends them after Kazuma, preparing a mana beam as the others are distracted with the beasts.

Gilgamesh takes out some popcorn and hands Shirou a bag.

"…Seriously?"

"Are you not curious why they are expending an effort to save us? Besides, do you not find it amusing how they struggle while we do nothing at all?"

"…It is rather curious since I shot him in the head as soon as I arrived." Shirou says before taking the popcorn and watching.

"This is why you're the best human in this day and age." Gilgamesh says.

"Why…are you….protecting him!?" Semiramis shouts, knuckles going white from her grip on the railing.

"You think I want to?!" Servant Kazuma shouts back.

"I can use the summon again and-"

"Don't, you'll probably summon Servants on our side again." Rin says, cutting off Ritsuka.

"That has never happened before! It's random, so I doubt it'll happen again!"

"Deja vu…" Megumin says before gasping as the roof is torn off, a giant winged beast under Semiramis' command appears.

"That is so cool! I must blow it up!" Megumin says with glowing red eyes, making Kazuma, Emiya, and Rin pale as she begins the chant, sigils appearing.

"That looks like a potent spell…" Gilgamesh says while looking up.

"That could be interesting to use. Would you mind giving a demonstration so I can learn this spell?" Scathach asks.

"Of course!"

"No!" Kazuma and Rin shout.

"But I could be a dragon slayer of both worlds! A-and I am not really good at stopping when I get to this point…" Megumin whines as Ritsuka takes Megumin's hat. Scathach meanwhile aims her spear at the dragon, the now glowing spear aimed at the beast's heart.

"Gae-"

"Hey, give that-"

Megumin vanishes, turning into gold, her sigil fading.

Scathach also vanishes, as does Emiya.

Ritsuka looks at her phone in abject shock.

Avicebron glares at Ritsuka.

"…Random huh?" Kazuma asks.

"I took Megumin's hat to act as a catalyst for summoning her to save us from a fiery death…I did not expect to get teacher and Emiya again…" Ritsuka says.

"Fair enough…" Kazuma says.



===

"Nothing will stop me from-"

"Bolg!" Scathach says, blinking as her Noble Phantasm shoots out, hitting Achilles in the chest, sending him through multiple walls.

"What in the world…?" Megumin asks while looking around.

"Stay away from me you sex obsessed Irish per-wait…I'm not in that room?" Atalanta asks out loud, appearing next to them.

Scathach sighs.

"That young Master really does have some odd luck…" Emiya says.



===

Artoria, Mordred, and Mash fight against MHX, finding little success. Despite her new class, it seems she has become more sensible, focusing more on carnage based results than posing and making dramatic claims, on top of Avalon rendering whatever damage they manage to inflict, moot. The three stagger back, winded a moment.

"Let me kill this foul Saber, and I'll grant you two quicker deaths." MHX offers.

"What kind of man do you think I am?! I would rather die than be killed by you, imposter father!" Mordred shouts before attacking MHX.

Mash takes a moment to register what Mordred says and Artoria raises a hand while grimacing.

'It may be critical…but I still hate this…' Artoria thinks before steeling herself as Mordred is knocked back, Artoria's hand now glowing.

"Steal!" She shouts, as a flash of light fills the room. When it fades, she is holding her sheathe again.

"What the-?!"

"Where did you learn that?!"

"An innocent prodigy taught me how to use it during one rainy night over muffins after we were both victims of that miscreant…I hate having to use it, but now that I have Avalon again, prepare to die you fake Saber!"

'We may actually have a chance now…Without that sheathe, we can now wound MHX!' Mash thinks with a smile before realizing something.

'But now I can't kill Artoria!' She thinks before seeing Artoria grin at her.

"I only said you can try to get my head. Not that you could." Artoria says, making Mash scowl.





===



Medea hands Servant Kazuma Rule Breaker and he stabs Karna, getting a monotone 'ow' before giving Karna water. A moment later he stands back up and looks at the dragon, Gilgamesh, and Semiramis.

"Which one shall I kill first?" Karna asks, getting a chuckle from Gilgamesh.

"I suggest the dragon. I have to teach this little fake Assassin a lesson, and you have no means of killing me." Gilgamesh says, making Karna raise an eyebrow.

Shakespeare places a hand on Karna's shoulder.

"Do not fret…I may not be fearsome in battle, or possess any skills relating to combat, but I do have instinct. Not the instinct of a warrior, but of a writer, and I know, on some unexplainable way, how to kill this….mongrel~ -" Shakespeare says, making Gilgamesh frown.

"- in one dramatic penultimate movement!"

"…I'll have to be sure to kill this dragon quickly before the final curtain call." Karna says with a grin before jumping forward, tackling the dragon into open air for an aerial battle.

Shakespeare raises a hand towards Gilgamesh's direction but stops.

"…If we meet again, hand me this…and do not read it, it is unpolished." He says, handing his notes to Kazuma.

"Why don't you want me to read-"

"The last time someone saw my notes I was voted out and punched out of a church. Also, the last few pages will be a fine taunt for a certain blonde lady." Shakespeare says with a wink before speaking.

"First Folio!"

The next moment Shirou is crying out in abject fear while backing into a wall.

"Not the snakes…Not the snakes!" Shirou shouts, making Ritsuka glare at Shakespeare raising her hand only to be picked up by the scruff of her neck and lifted slightly into the air by Servant Kazuma.

"Hey what are you-" Ritsuka says while trying to shake out of the grip.

"Wait…this panic…that impossible flood earlier in the air…that was you?!" Gilgamesh grits his teeth while looking fully at the bard.

"Indeed! I can call upon the horrors of any being, and turn them into a whimpering child…though I suppose thou is already a child!" Shakespeare says with a showman rising of his hands.

Gilgamesh hurls a dozen spears at the bard.

They miss.

Not because the Bard was fast enough, but because the floor moved him out of the wave, turning the ground under Shakespeare into a mobile disc, further distracting Gilgamesh.

Avicebron stands with fists on his hips, delighted at annoying a foe and saving an odd ally. Gilgamesh grabs the horrified Shirou and jumps up to the floor near Semiramis for a better angle. Before Semiramis can react, she is tied up in chain around a pillar.

"Do you really think two Casters being in another's workshop has any chance to do anything but annoy me?"

"Is that fear I hear~?" Shakespeare says, before becoming enveloped in chains.

'…I really hope my writer instincts are right…'

"By my Cwomannd Sweal, use your Noble Phantasm!"

"By this hand, wrongs shall once more be made right…Transpose!" Servant Kazuma says.



===



Artoria chuckles as she approaches MHX, who is now bloodied and breathing heavily after a swift round of fighting. Artoria nearly laughs uproariously but restrains herself.

'I can laugh after a few more deaths~.' Artoria thinks as MHX wobbles from a dozen cuts, Mordred breathing heavily nearby, and Mash glaring at her.

"You truly are a failure as a savior…But an adequate Saber~." Artoria says, momentarily surprised when MHX straightens up despite her exhaustion. Artoria raises her blade and brings it down as a white light envelopes her.

'Is this some ability from space?!' Artoria thinks before following through on her strike and only hitting air as she is blinded. When she can see again, she is hanging from her neck in the air, a different sight in front of her now.

Shakespeare tangled up in chains, Gilgamesh posed to kill him, Rin, Cu, and Jeanne nearby…with open mouths.

Artoria looks down and sees she is wearing a trench coat, and feels an odd material on her under said trench coat.

"What…in the…?"

Before she can react, another hand grips part of the trench coat, and only through means of odd magic rips it off of her, showing Artoria off in a mix of strings and furry pads.

Gilgamesh freezes and looks at her with all the focus he can muster, making the chains around Shakespeare grow lax.

The Bard also cranes his neck while in a pile of chains to engrave every detail into his mind for his work.

Artoria squeaks and covers herself as best she can before turning to see the latest target of her fury.

It is not a new target.

Kazuma grins as Medea smiles like a fool, camera in hand.

Robin Mordred struts atop Servant Kazuma's head, proud of this petty victory.

Even Jeanne grins.

'So that's why she has phobia of dresses…' Semiramis thinks.

"How the Hell did you do this?! And why am I in such…such…!"

Artoria's wrists are grabbed by chains and hoisted upward, showing her off to everyone present.

"My, what a sight." Gilgamesh says, making one Artoria's eyes turn yellow.

"The snakes!" Shirou shouts helplessly behind him.

"To answer your earlier question, its one of my Noble Phantasms Elizabeth." Kazuma says.

"There's nothing noble about this!" Artoria says as Kazuma makes her swing slightly like a lurid ornament.

"…I hate that I still agree with her…" Rin says.

"I don't. Got anything more embarrassing for her to wear?" Jeanne asks, making Medea smile even more.

'You have a real grudge problem if you're ok with this…' Leticia thinks at Jeanne.

'Huh, Was wondering when you would speak up again. You've been quiet.'

'What can I say in this situation?' Leticia thinks back before Jeanne hears chewing sounds.

'Is…Is that popcorn?'

'No, pickle chips.'

The chains around Artoria, Shakespeare, and Semiramis grow lax, allowing all three to escape, look on in shock, or kick Kazuma into letting them go.

Artoria materializes her dress, bits of fur still visible on her neck as she looks up with a gasp at the purple armored man wrestling with Gilgamesh, swinging him around with both arms looped around him.

"Lancelot?! You're alive?!" She shouts.

"Yes my King…Though my 'Battle Continuation' will not hold for much longer…You know what must be done!" Lancelot manages to say before grabbing Semiramis with one hand.

"Let me go!"

"Never!"

"Mad dog, I will-" Gilgamesh fires a spear, but Lancelot dodges, the weapon taking one of Semiramis' arms.

"GAH! Not again!"

Artoria raises her sword.

"Thank you Lancelot…Your death will not be in vain. I may almost forgive you with this act!"

"My King!" Lancelot says with a tear down his cheek as Mordred enters the room, and sees Artoria raising her blade. Mordred stands nearby and raises her sword, before Gilgamesh launches two spears.

One makes Artoria leap to the side, and the other hits Mordred's blade, sending it flying to Artoria. She catches it with one hand and pauses a moment before tossing Excalibur to Mordred. Mordred caches it and her jaw drops.

"Do not misunderstand. I am not giving it to you, but you should know what you will be wielding if you should succeed in your wish. Besides, it has been awhile since Clarent has been in your care and wanted to see how badly you mistreated her." Artoria says. Mordred smiles and raises the sword in tandem with Artoria.

"EX-" Mordred starts to say.

"Clarent-" Artoria starts to say.



===

Alaya gasps, a very deep seated dread instantly bringing her out of a blissful, subservient high.

"Something terrible is happening!"

"Are you finally going to help us?!" Aqua shouts while standing on shaky legs on top of an unsteady stone pillar, A Fergus on each side trying to topple it.

"Not you, you deserve this. I'm talking about humanity!"

"How can you say that?! This is why you're the least favorite entity in the Heavens you spoiled bra-" Aqua's yelling stops when the pillar cracks, leading to her falling to the circling Fergusi.

The door protecting Eris and the angels finally breaks.

"Lurk!" Eris says, and she becomes invisible along with the angels.

"That won't work…I can still smell you~." Fergus says as another two versions of himself appears, making one angel clasp Eris mouth shut to muffle the warble of despair, and the other throw a perfume bottle on the floor as Aqua's cries soon start hitting a different note.



===

Karna appears behind Gilgamesh, Semiramis, and Lancelot.

'I knew he would make a good ally…' Karna thinks before going to grab the vacant eyed and twitching Shirou, but a spear appears and stabs through Shirou's shirt, sending him flying to the next room.

Karna is stunned a moment before following the spear.

'…It feels like he's done that before.' Karna thinks.

"-CALIBUR!"

"-BLOOD ARTHUR!"

The beams go fourth and hit all three Servants, erasing them in a glorious light of yellow and red.

The dust settles and both Sabers trade blades.

The Gardens make a groaning sound as whatever kept it afloat is gone, now making it descend.

Artoria turns back to face the others, raising her blade after a flourish.

"Are you seriously going to pick a fight with us after all that and now of all times?!" Cu asks.

"Why wouldn't I? Even if I do not kill him, making him stay long enough here for the Gardens to crash and kill him is victory enough!" Artoria says, prompting Shakespeare to raise a hand. Mordred pales and glares at the bard.

"Don't you care about getting the Grail?" Rin asks, trying to distract Saber and not grin at seeing her panic.

"I doubt any Grail in this lawless war can grant my wish…it really needed a proper to keep things from spiraling out of control." Artoria says, making Jeanne's twitch and turn gold. Shakespeare hand starts to glow as pages begin to rise.

"Fourth time is bound to be the charm, and a ruined castle should make for a fine setting for your grave." Artoria says, making the Bard pause and lower his hand.

"…Shakespeare." Kazuma says.

"Just think! A castle falling from the Heavens, acting as a countdown for the final fight between two heroes is a promising climax!." Shakespeare says.

"Shakespeare you bastard!"

"I refuse to acknowledge him as a hero." Artoria says.

"It's not his fault she makes a good point." Avicebron says.

"He!" Mordred says, before a rip appears, and Alaya pulls Mordred through.

"Mordred?!" Artoria shouts.

"Mon Dieu, ce sont tous des idiots…" Jeanne says with a hand at her head as the Gardens starts picking up speed.

"…Can't you just stab her again and make her not be a threat?"

"Sorry…was still day dreaming about that last outfit." Medea says, readying Rule Breaker.

She vanishes, turning into Golden sparkles, along with Avicebron and Cu Chulainn.

"…God damn red heads…" Kazuma mutters as Artoria approaches with a smile, Shakespeare making his notes return to him as he begins chronicling this final showdown.

 

[Sliverhero]

Looks like its heading to the final event. Poor Aqua, yeah I can see Alaya going to get the blame in the end. Will have to wonder if Aqua is to latch onto kazuma even more after everything as kazuma would realize what happened to her is what almost happened to him with thw female orcs.

 

[BloodFartMoon]

"I'm not telling you my family tree! You stripped me in public, photographed it, and nearly killed me at least 3 times in less then twenty minutes now…and even if you didn't this is not the time for such a talk!" Ritsuka says as Gilgamesh laughs once more, launching a dozen weapons their way.

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Nah no way shes lampshading this. Actually Beat the stupid out of her so she spills the beans Kazuma! Gender Equality! She keeps sabotaging everything

 

[Davos]

Nah no way shes lampshading this. Actually Beat the stupid out of her so she spills the beans Kazuma! Gender Equality! She keeps sabotaging everything

Click to shrink...

Didn't know lampshading was thing before looking up that term. Thanks for that tidbit. And Ritsuka isn't doing it on purpose.

 

[BloodFartMoon]

Didn't know lampshading was thing before looking up that term. Thanks for that tidbit. And Ritsuka isn't doing it on purpose.

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In this case its just a fancier way to say shes dodging the question

 

[alextheconqueror]

"Send me back." Achilles says to Goredolf as medical staff tends to Jack, Amakusa, and Darnic.

"W-why do you want to go back?" Goredolf asks, shaky from Achilles' glare.

"I need to kill a red head…slowly if possible."

Click to shrink...

Unfortunately, it's not allowed

"A-absolutely not! They are a master and-" Goredolf stammers when a hand grips his neck, limiting the air he can breath.

Click to shrink...

Oh, he's thinking of the wrong red head

"Calm yourself Achilles; I don't believe this man has anything to do with that. We should try and gather some info first."

"You're just saying that because no one here wants to fuck us!"

"Didn't think Heroic spirits would have low self esteem." A medical staff says off hand while tending to Amakusa, making Achilles tighten his grip on Goredolf a moment.

Click to shrink...

If only you knew

"Language…" Jack says from the floor.

"…I thought you were unconscious…" Achilles says, now dropping Goredolf.

Click to shrink...

Same here, I'm just glad she is fine

"We're getting there…Can we go back and kill the red haired guy too?" Jack asks with vacant eyes.

"No…they are still- wait…guy?" Goredolf asks, now confusing the Servants as a beeping is heard.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, they are still not allowed to kill him but it's not the actually nice to have around

"How the Hell are you two related?!" Kazuma asks.

"I just told you. Grandpa."

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I still think this is stupid but I will just roll with it

"You know what I mean! Who the Hell did he even get with?! The only women I saw in Fuyuki are dead, dead and hate him, or moved to another world!"

Click to shrink...

Idk, Taiga? Wouldn't be surprised if it was in a one night stand and never appeared again, especially considering Ritsuka wasn't even aware of the Moonlit world when she got to Chaldea

"I'm not telling you my family tree! You stripped me in public, photographed it, and nearly killed me at least 3 times in less then twenty minutes now…and even if you didn't this is not the time for such a talk!" Ritsuka says as Gilgamesh laughs once more, launching a dozen weapons their way.

Click to shrink...

You are also the reason he can't kill the guy that shoot him in the face, also I'm pretty sure that at least one of the nearly killed states was actually your fault with the terrible summoning timing

"Then why didn't you use that special ticket to get him out of here?!"

"I was going too, but after seeing all the Servants that want him dead, one of whom is not usually known for holding a grudge, I fear he may have enemies in Chaldea, and not just the ones I put there, also wanting to kill him now! And I doubt a beyond furious Lancelot would do well in Chaldea!"

"Why not?!"

"There are many versions of Artoria there, and he will probably wreck the place trying to kill them!" Ritsuka says, and Kazuma remains quiet after a halfhearted moment of trying to yell at her.

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Shit, she's right, there's also the EMIYA of Chaldea but he will probably understand why he can't kill him

Gilgamesh pulls the knives out of Shirou's shoulders and gives him a healing tonic while firing more weapons at approaching Servants with one hand. A moment later Shirou is better.

"Thanks Gilga- Ack…" Shirou starts coughing more and more. Gilgamesh looks and sees Semiramis unleashing poison in the room.

"Don't worry. It's a quick death~." Semiramis says with a smile, prompting a dozen spears her way. Each one deflected with a shield or hastily summoned beast.

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I shouldn't enjoy this as much as I do

Ritsuka raises a hand and hits Shirou with a healing code.

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It's good that she have this things at hand, but I still loathe that we

"I shall remember this mongrel, and be kinder in your training!" Gilgamesh says, and Ritsuka nearly chokes.

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Why can't we have the wise king Gilgamesh from the Babylonia singularity!? Why!?

"What are you doing here?!" All three ask.

"You killed father!" Mash says pointing to MHX.

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Yeah, a valid reason if anything

"Then you can help us overc-"

"You probably troubled him." Mash says now pointing to Artoria.

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Oh she did, she did a lot.... I need to blanch my mind

"I did n- Well…Would you believe me if I said he wanted that?"

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Don't remind me!

"I will not believe such a blatant lie!"

"She's not lying!" Karna yells from the other room.

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I know, but I don't think Mash will like to hear it

"…My truthfulness settled, what are you planning?" Artoria asks.

"To kill you."

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Please do it, if I can't have Shirou killed at least this I can have

"Shouldn't you be defending your master?" Mordred asks.

"She said it was alright for me to pursue this for my personal reasons on top of you being a threat. She also has Scathach to protect her."

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She's enough of a protection crew by herself

"Then we have a common objective!" MHX says with a smile.

"I'm killing you first!" Mash says.

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As long as saber is dead at the end I'm happy

"No, I am!" Mordred says, slashing at Mash. MHX goes straight for Artoria, prompting the other two to attack MHX, who alternates and juggles her two swords and shotgun while fighting all three knights, pushing back with blade and bullet, before narrowly forcing them all back.

"We all want her dead…Stop preventing me!" MHX says.

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It's never that easy MHX, she's a cockroach, one would expect her to die without her Deus ex machina but noooooo

"…It is obvious which one of us is strongest. That is why I suggest we three work together to kill her and end her madness." Artoria says.

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No, not again

"Why do you think I would help you?" Mash asks.

"…One for all and all for one." Artoria says, drawing odd looks from the other three.

"What is that line supposed to mean here? Or are you fond of Dumas and Shakespeare?" Mash asks with a squinted eye.

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Oh, yeah, a literary comment would appease Mash, temporalily at least

"Is the best course of action before deciding who can try to get my head."

"That sounds like a lie!"

"It isn't!" Karna shouts, deflating Mash for a moment.

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I already expected this, dangit

"My…relationship with Lancelot was an odd one the last few days. But to see him stabbed in the back, especially when he regained his sanity, is cause enough for me to kill her, and then we can settle the matter regarding myself… Or do you need that prone lie detector to ascertain my words again? Or do you genuinely believe out of the three Sabers here she can be reasoned with?" Artoria asks, causing foam to form in the corner of MHX's mouth, and after a long moment, Mash and Mordred turn to MHX.

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Saber, this is cute and all but, she is only like that because of you, you are the cause of most of the problems in this grail war, at least yours

Gilgamesh would have used the chains and killed Semiramis within a second were it not for the oddest sight stunning both him and Shirou now.

"Cure Poison…Cure Poison…Cure Poison…!" Both Kazuma and Servant Kazuma say, hitting both his own side, as well as Gilgamesh and Shirou. After the third time they realize it is not accidental.

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God, I never expected to see this

'This is even more bizarre than the prior fight back at the castle…' Gilgamesh thinks as Shirou looks on stunned.

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You tell me

Gilgamesh takes out some popcorn and hands Shirou a bag.

"…Seriously?"

"Are you not curious why they are expending an effort to save us? Besides, do you not find it amusing how they struggle while we do nothing at all?"

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The fact that he made go from Hero complex to king complex still surprises me

"…It is rather curious since I shot him in the head as soon as I arrived." Shirou says before taking the popcorn and watching.

"This is why you're the best human in this day and age." Gilgamesh says.

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I guess you are happy after not having good entertainment till now

"Why…are you….protecting him!?" Semiramis shouts, knuckles going white from her grip on the railing.

"You think I want to?!" Servant Kazuma shouts back.

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Nobody wants to aside from Gilgamesh, and maybe Ritsuka but that's just to maintain her timeline, for some nonsensical reason
Ok, I will stop, sorry

"I can use the summon again and-"

"Don't, you'll probably summon Servants on our side again." Rin says, cutting off Ritsuka.

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Yeah, don't do it, for the love of god, don't do it!!
Especially since they are now being summoned to Chaldea instead of where they are located like it usually does, wich should be the first sign to not do it

"That has never happened before! It's random, so I doubt it'll happen again!"

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It will! I don't trust the process

"That is so cool! I must blow it up!" Megumin says with glowing red eyes, making Kazuma, Emiya, and Rin pale as she begins the chant, sigils appearing.

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Oh god no

"That looks like a potent spell…" Gilgamesh says while looking up.

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Like you need more firepower mister I can break the world seven times in a row

"That could be interesting to use. Would you mind giving a demonstration so I can learn this spell?" Scathach asks.

"Of course!"

"No!" Kazuma and Rin shout.

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Please Scathatch don't encourage her

"Gae-"

"Hey, give that-"

Megumin vanishes, turning into gold, her sigil fading.

Scathach also vanishes, as does Emiya.

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First of all, how did Megumin was summoned if she isn't a servant?
Second, AGAIN!?
and Third, Goddamit Ritsuka

Ritsuka looks at her phone in abject shock.

Avicebron glares at Ritsuka.

"…Random huh?" Kazuma asks.

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"I took Megumin's hat to act as a catalyst for summoning her to save us from a fiery death…I did not expect to get teacher and Emiya again…" Ritsuka says.

"Fair enough…" Kazuma says.

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I accept it, but we literally lost the best catalist we had if we wanted to use the summon again, something I discourage, also how did that worked with Megumin!? And how did you knew it would work!?
Mash at least is part of Chaldea system, but Megumin isn't connected nor a servant, how much is the Konosuba particles affecting this singularity

"Bolg!" Scathach says, blinking as her Noble Phantasm shoots out, hitting Achilles in the chest, sending him through multiple walls.

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Poor Achiles, he can't get a break

"Stay away from me you sex obsessed Irish per-wait…I'm not in that room?" Atalanta asks out loud, appearing next to them.

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Who, you have been through a lot, wait, you were with Fergus?

"That young Master really does have some odd luck…" Emiya says.

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That's to say the least

Artoria, Mordred, and Mash fight against MHX, finding little success. Despite her new class, it seems she has become more sensible, focusing more on carnage based results than posing and making dramatic claims, on top of Avalon rendering whatever damage they manage to inflict, moot. The three stagger back, winded a moment.

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The fact they can hurt her with Avalon is impresive by itself

"Let me kill this foul Saber, and I'll grant you two quicker deaths." MHX offers.

"What kind of man do you think I am?! I would rather die than be killed by you, imposter father!" Mordred shouts before attacking MHX.

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Not to throw a stone but that "imposter" is at least better than your actual Father, I mean she's not a tirant, is an actual productive member of society, pays her own taxes and is actually more busted

'It may be critical…but I still hate this…' Artoria thinks before steeling herself as Mordred is knocked back, Artoria's hand now glowing.

"Steal!" She shouts, as a flash of light fills the room. When it fades, she is holding her sheathe again.

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At this point everyone is getting this skills

"Where did you learn that?!"

"An innocent prodigy taught me how to use it during one rainy night over muffins after we were both victims of that miscreant…I hate having to use it, but now that I have Avalon again, prepare to die you fake Saber!"

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Ok, I can understand where you are going, but you are making her madder! What if she decides to just nuke this place again? Or if she summons her own Avalon that she have in her ship(Who is a kick ass power armor that aside from all the benefits that Avalon offers and more like giving her more firepower and making her stronger)?

'We may actually have a chance now…Without that sheathe, we can now wound MHX!' Mash thinks with a smile before realizing something.

'But now I can't kill Artoria!' She thinks before seeing Artoria grin at her.

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Goddamit, why does this keep happening?!, she should had lost her plot armor after going to the dark side

"I only said you can try to get my head. Not that you could." Artoria says, making Mash scowl.

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You cheeky little bastard, good played

Medea hands Servant Kazuma Rule Breaker and he stabs Karna, getting a monotone 'ow' before giving Karna water. A moment later he stands back up and looks at the dragon, Gilgamesh, and Semiramis.

"Which one shall I kill first?" Karna asks, getting a chuckle from Gilgamesh.

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I love Karna, he's such a ride or die

"I suggest the dragon. I have to teach this little fake Assassin a lesson, and you have no means of killing me." Gilgamesh says, making Karna raise an eyebrow.

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Kill not, stall maybe

"Do not fret…I may not be fearsome in battle, or possess any skills relating to combat, but I do have instinct. Not the instinct of a warrior, but of a writer, and I know, on some unexplainable way, how to kill this….mongrel~ -" Shakespeare says, making Gilgamesh frown.

"- in one dramatic penultimate movement!"

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Shakespeare mvp coming?

"…I'll have to be sure to kill this dragon quickly before the final curtain call." Karna says with a grin before jumping forward, tackling the dragon into open air for an aerial battle.

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He is already part of the team! I feel like a proud soccer mom

Shakespeare raises a hand towards Gilgamesh's direction but stops.

"…If we meet again, hand me this…and do not read it, it is unpolished." He says, handing his notes to Kazuma.

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The script is safe!! Yes!

"Why don't you want me to read-"

"The last time someone saw my notes I was voted out and punched out of a church. Also, the last few pages will be a fine taunt for a certain blonde lady." Shakespeare says with a wink before speaking.

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Wich was very uncalled for, though probably I just think that because if someone did smut of me I would just demand to read it

"First Folio!"

The next moment Shirou is crying out in abject fear while backing into a wall.

"Not the snakes…Not the snakes!" Shirou shouts, making Ritsuka glare at Shakespeare raising her hand only to be picked up by the scruff of her neck and lifted slightly into the air by Servant Kazuma.

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I'll take this, if you can't kill them, traumatize them

"Hey what are you-" Ritsuka says while trying to shake out of the grip.

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Let him cook Ritsu

"Wait…this panic…that impossible flood earlier in the air…that was you?!" Gilgamesh grits his teeth while looking fully at the bard.

"Indeed! I can call upon the horrors of any being, and turn them into a whimpering child…though I suppose thou is already a child!" Shakespeare says with a showman rising of his hands.

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Ohohoho, will need a NP to heal that burn

Avicebron stands with fists on his hips, delighted at annoying a foe and saving an odd ally. Gilgamesh grabs the horrified Shirou and jumps up to the floor near Semiramis for a better angle. Before Semiramis can react, she is tied up in chain around a pillar.

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This is a goated duo I didn't expected to see when I first read this arc, but I love every second of it

"By my Cwomannd Sweal, use your Noble Phantasm!"

"By this hand, wrongs shall once more be made right…Transpose!" Servant Kazuma says.

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Ok, by the language alone I assume one of his Noble phantasms is his teleport spell

Artoria chuckles as she approaches MHX, who is now bloodied and breathing heavily after a swift round of fighting. Artoria nearly laughs uproariously but restrains herself.

'I can laugh after a few more deaths~.' Artoria thinks as MHX wobbles from a dozen cuts, Mordred breathing heavily nearby, and Mash glaring at her.

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You wish, this is the last you will get, hopefully

"You truly are a failure as a savior…But an adequate Saber~." Artoria says, momentarily surprised when MHX straightens up despite her exhaustion. Artoria raises her blade and brings it down as a white light envelopes her.

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Ok, so something is happening and MHX is aware, seeing as she is used to teleports that means, oh yes~

'Is this some ability from space?!' Artoria thinks before following through on her strike and only hitting air as she is blinded. When she can see again, she is hanging from her neck in the air, a different sight in front of her now.

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Hah, didn't even got to kill them

Shakespeare tangled up in chains, Gilgamesh posed to kill him, Rin, Cu, and Jeanne nearby…with open mouths.

Artoria looks down and sees she is wearing a trench coat, and feels an odd material on her under said trench coat.

"What…in the…?"

Before she can react, another hand grips part of the trench coat, and only through means of odd magic rips it off of her, showing Artoria off in a mix of strings and furry pads.

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Hahahahahaha, got screwed by fate lol

Gilgamesh freezes and looks at her with all the focus he can muster, making the chains around Shakespeare grow lax.

The Bard also cranes his neck while in a pile of chains to engrave every detail into his mind for his work.

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And with the expected reactions heh
What is using Gudako now though

Artoria squeaks and covers herself as best she can before turning to see the latest target of her fury.

It is not a new target.

Kazuma grins as Medea smiles like a fool, camera in hand.

Robin Mordred struts atop Servant Kazuma's head, proud of this petty victory.

Even Jeanne grins.

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Glad to see I'm not the only one enjoying himself

'So that's why she has phobia of dresses…' Semiramis thinks.

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Yep, being honest, she is overreacting a little

"How the Hell did you do this?! And why am I in such…such…!"

Artoria's wrists are grabbed by chains and hoisted upward, showing her off to everyone present.

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Well, this is looking more like a bad end for Artoria the more it progresses, and as a knight woman she is weak to them lol

"My, what a sight." Gilgamesh says, making one Artoria's eyes turn yellow.

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She is also altering!?
Huh, since the alters are usually inversions of how they usually act I can see Artoria Alter being a kind, softhearted king that loves her son/daughter and is friends with Kazuma and Medea, the alter of this Artoria at least lol

"The snakes!" Shirou shouts helplessly behind him.

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What a good argument Shirou, why didn't I thought of that

"To answer your earlier question, its one of my Noble Phantasms Elizabeth." Kazuma says.

"There's nothing noble about this!" Artoria says as Kazuma makes her swing slightly like a lurid ornament.

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You could say the same about many Noble Phantasms lol

"…I hate that I still agree with her…" Rin says.

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Like you aren't enjoying the view you bisexual mess

"I don't. Got anything more embarrassing for her to wear?" Jeanne asks, making Medea smile even more.

'You have a real grudge problem if you're ok with this…' Leticia thinks at Jeanne.

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We aren't mindbreaking her, that's more of Gilgamesh territory

'Huh, Was wondering when you would speak up again. You've been quiet.'

'What can I say in this situation?' Leticia thinks back before Jeanne hears chewing sounds.

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Fair enough

'Is…Is that popcorn?'

'No, pickle chips.'

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What the hell are pickle chips

Artoria materializes her dress, bits of fur still visible on her neck as she looks up with a gasp at the purple armored man wrestling with Gilgamesh, swinging him around with both arms looped around him.

"Lancelot?! You're alive?!" She shouts.

"Yes my King…Though my 'Battle Continuation' will not hold for much longer…You know what must be done!" Lancelot manages to say before grabbing Semiramis with one hand.

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Well, I'll be, she will get a kill

"Mad dog, I will-" Gilgamesh fires a spear, but Lancelot dodges, the weapon taking one of Semiramis' arms.

"GAH! Not again!"

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It's always the arm hahaha

Artoria raises her sword.

"Thank you Lancelot…Your death will not be in vain. I may almost forgive you with this act!"

"My King!" Lancelot says with a tear down his cheek as Mordred enters the room, and sees Artoria raising her blade. Mordred stands nearby and raises her sword, before Gilgamesh launches two spears.

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Their relationship is really weird

One makes Artoria leap to the side, and the other hits Mordred's blade, sending it flying to Artoria. She catches it with one hand and pauses a moment before tossing Excalibur to Mordred. Mordred caches it and her jaw drops.

"Do not misunderstand. I am not giving it to you, but you should know what you will be wielding if you should succeed in your wish. Besides, it has been awhile since Clarent has been in your care and wanted to see how badly you mistreated her." Artoria says. Mordred smiles and raises the sword in tandem with Artoria.

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Character development, to Artoria Pendragon!?

Alaya gasps, a very deep seated dread instantly bringing her out of a blissful, subservient high.

"Something terrible is happening!"

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Oh come on, what now?

"Are you finally going to help us?!" Aqua shouts while standing on shaky legs on top of an unsteady stone pillar, A Fergus on each side trying to topple it.

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"Not you, you deserve this. I'm talking about humanity!"

"How can you say that?! This is why you're the least favorite entity in the Heavens you spoiled bra-" Aqua's yelling stops when the pillar cracks, leading to her falling to the circling Fergusi.

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She know understand how Kazuma felt with the Orcs, good thing is he will give her the same support she gave him

The door protecting Eris and the angels finally breaks.

"Lurk!" Eris says, and she becomes invisible along with the angels.

"That won't work…I can still smell you~." Fergus says as another two versions of himself appears, making one angel clasp Eris mouth shut to muffle the warble of despair, and the other throw a perfume bottle on the floor as Aqua's cries soon start hitting a different note.

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That is disturbing, and weirdly hot, why do I have to be bisexual?

Karna appears behind Gilgamesh, Semiramis, and Lancelot.

'I knew he would make a good ally…' Karna thinks before going to grab the vacant eyed and twitching Shirou, but a spear appears and stabs through Shirou's shirt, sending him flying to the next room.

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He is a good ally to have and a terrible enemy to fight

Karna is stunned a moment before following the spear.

'…It feels like he's done that before.' Karna thinks.

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Yep, been there done that

The Gardens make a groaning sound as whatever kept it afloat is gone, now making it descend.

Artoria turns back to face the others, raising her blade after a flourish.

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And back to square one

"Are you seriously going to pick a fight with us after all that and now of all times?!" Cu asks.

"Why wouldn't I? Even if I do not kill him, making him stay long enough here for the Gardens to crash and kill him is victory enough!" Artoria says, prompting Shakespeare to raise a hand. Mordred pales and glares at the bard.

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Mordred please, just help your team, Sisigou's live is in the line this time!

"Don't you care about getting the Grail?" Rin asks, trying to distract Saber and not grin at seeing her panic.

"I doubt any Grail in this lawless war can grant my wish…it really needed a proper to keep things from spiraling out of control." Artoria says, making Jeanne's twitch and turn gold. Shakespeare hand starts to glow as pages begin to rise.

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Funny enough this is your last chance, the other grails aren't as strong or are just as corrupted as the last one to work, also your wish isn't even something that is allowed by the world to happen so you are cooked anyways

"Fourth time is bound to be the charm, and a ruined castle should make for a fine setting for your grave." Artoria says, making the Bard pause and lower his hand.

"…Shakespeare." Kazuma says.

"Just think! A castle falling from the Heavens, acting as a countdown for the final fight between two heroes is a promising climax!." Shakespeare says.

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Damm you Muse, you filthy inspiraton for writting

"I refuse to acknowledge him as a hero." Artoria says.

"It's not his fault she makes a good point." Avicebron says.

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Pfft, I mean, would you call Fergus a hero? lol

"He!" Mordred says, before a rip appears, and Alaya pulls Mordred through.

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Goddamit Ritsuka, wait, no, damm you Alaya

"Mon Dieu, ce sont tous des idiots…" Jeanne says with a hand at her head as the Gardens starts picking up speed.

"…Can't you just stab her again and make her not be a threat?"

"Sorry…was still day dreaming about that last outfit." Medea says, readying Rule Breaker.

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Top five best caster of the world everybody

She vanishes, turning into Golden sparkles, along with Avicebron and Cu Chulainn.

"…God damn red heads…" Kazuma mutters as Artoria approaches with a smile, Shakespeare making his notes return to him as he begins chronicling this final showdown.

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Alaya you bitch!!
Why at this of all moments!? I know you want Kazuma dead but their are our only hope at this point[/QUOTE]

 

[BloodFartMoon]

Shit, she's right, there's also the EMIYA of Chaldea but he will probably understand why he can't kill him

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Not he wouldnt?

Archer has to know by now that killing Past Shirou wouldnt unmake him for various reasons

1) The throne is outside time and space so paradoxes wont do shit. You are in fact cooked bro.

2) For ritsukas case, killing people in singularities doesnt do anything cause the Counterforce just corrects the timeline once its resolved anyway. Shes got so much gacha brainrot she forgot how singularities work

 

[alextheconqueror]

Not he wouldnt?

Archer has to know by now that killing Past Shirou wouldnt unmake him for various reasons

1) The throne is outside time and space so paradoxes wont do shit. You are in fact cooked bro.

2) For ritsukas case, killing people in singularities doesnt do anything cause the Counterforce just corrects the timeline once its resolved anyway. Shes got so much gacha brainrot she forgot how singularities work

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I know why this is bullshit but I'm just rolling with the story, they literally had in the conditions of the singularity to destroy humanity as Shirou Emiya's death and it reacted to the arrival of this Shirou
I know it's stupid but as I was remembered this is a crack fic

 

[Davos]

Not he wouldnt?

Archer has to know by now that killing Past Shirou wouldnt unmake him for various reasons

1) The throne is outside time and space so paradoxes wont do shit. You are in fact cooked bro.

2) For ritsukas case, killing people in singularities doesnt do anything cause the Counterforce just corrects the timeline once its resolved anyway. Shes got so much gacha brainrot she forgot how singularities work

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I know why this is bullshit but I'm just rolling with the story, they literally had in the conditions of the singularity to destroy humanity as Shirou Emiya's death and it reacted to the arrival of this Shirou
I know it's stupid but as I was remembered this is a crack fic

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Not my brightest moment, I'll admit. I should probably explain a few things in the next chapter on the Singularity conditions. after the last bout of bedlam

I still think this is stupid but I will just roll with it

I accept it, but we literally lost the best catalist we had if we wanted to use the summon again, something I discourage, also how did that worked with Megumin!? And how did you knew it would work!?
Mash at least is part of Chaldea system, but Megumin isn't connected nor a servant, how much is the Konosuba particles affecting this singularity

The script is safe!! Yes!

This is a goated duo I didn't expected to see when I first read this arc, but I love every second of it

What a good argument Shirou, why didn't I thought of that

What the hell are pickle chips

Character development, to Artoria Pendragon!?

Oh come on, what now?

She know understand how Kazuma felt with the Orcs, good thing is he will give her the same support she gave him

That is disturbing, and weirdly hot, why do I have to be bisexual?

Alaya you bitch!!
Why at this of all moments!? I know you want Kazuma dead but their are our only hope at this point

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[/QUOTE]

I'll try to avoid such developments in the future.

Very....liberally.

It will probably stay safe.

Same here. Will be fun writing them again.

Heh.

Never thought I'd have to answer this. It's pickles cut into that circle piece for burgers or as a side...Or is that not as common a thing as I thought it was?

A statement regarding Artoria's development: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_RLYSaPvak

Her Humanity senses are tingling.

Indeed.

Partial fondness for mindbreak?

Did not expect that, though I may have been unclear. That was not Alaya, but Ritsuka making a summon.

 

[Sliverhero]

Thinking that the perfume ain't going to stop the fregus with eris and the angels as with his experience he is going to get them as there is not much room in the room.

Have to wonder what if the rules for this singularity are not what Ritsuka thinks and she is being tricked by the alien god orga. And its all part of the plan to create a new beast of humanity by using Kazuma frustration and anger. The moment he hears about what happens to Aqua he may end killing Alaya

Spoiler: Canon konsuba

as in canon when Aqua got captured by the demon king and he made her cry. Kazuma ended up killing the demon lord, and he didnt even really care if he died killing the demon lord.

Also you would think that Kazuma EX luck would kick in by this time, and give him some good luck.

 

[alextheconqueror]

Not my brightest moment, I'll admit. I should probably explain a few things in the next chapter on the Singularity conditions. after the last bout of bedlam

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That would be appreciated

I'll try to avoid such developments in the future.

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If you have questions feel free to ask me, I will be happy to help

Very....liberally.

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Damn, this is worse than the halloween singularities, and those traumatized Ritsuka.... Why Cjeste casttle? Why is always that casttle?

It will probably stay safe.

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I hope so, whatever plot he had sounds amazing just by his inspiration

Same here. Will be fun writing them again.

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They are the goats

Never thought I'd have to answer this. It's pickles cut into that circle piece for burgers or as a side...Or is that not as common a thing as I thought it was?

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Probably is a thing of my country, I'm from a third world country at best

A statement regarding Artoria's development: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_RLYSaPvak

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I'm worried and excited at the same time

Her Humanity senses are tingling.

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And the timing is as bad as Ritsuka's

Partial fondness for mindbreak?

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Yeah, that too

Did not expect that, though I may have been unclear. That was not Alaya, but Ritsuka making a summon.

Click to shrink...

Oh, let me correct myself then, goddamit Gudako! Why now of all times!?

 

[Davos]

If you have questions feel free to ask me, I will be happy to help

Damn, this is worse than the halloween singularities, and those traumatized Ritsuka.... Why Cjeste casttle? Why is always that casttle?

Oh, let me correct myself then, goddamit Gudako! Why now of all times!?

Click to shrink...

Appreciated, but I am not very good at asking for help.

Because doesn't know the phrase 'give up'

That should hopefully be covered in the next chapter.

 

[alextheconqueror]

Appreciated, but I am not very good at asking for help.

Click to shrink...

Understandable, happens to more of us that we would like to admit...

Because doesn't know the phrase 'give up'

Click to shrink...

Damm straight it doesn't

That should hopefully be covered in the next chapter.

Click to shrink...

Good to know

 

[Davos]

Artoria braces herself as Cu and Jeanne step forward.

"Wait." Kazuma says, surprising them both.

"For what? You're thinking of fighting her by yourself?" Cu asks. When Kazuma remains quiet, they both turn back in shock.

Artoria is especially stunned.

"Seriously? I didn't expect this kind of plan from either version of you." Cu says.

"…Have you lost your mind?" Rin asks.

"No, but this place is falling to the ground, and I imagine it will only pick up speed, and I doubt you and Kairi here can survive that crash." Servant Kazuma says while Kazuma nudges a still unconscious Kairi with a sheathed sword.

"Besides, I am suspecting Ritsuka will try to steal the airship Avicebron made, and I am sure she is willing to let you bunch board." Kazuma says.

"And what about you? The Gardens impending crash aside, how do plan to survive facing that blight of-" Jeanne starts to ask but stops when Servant Kazuma places a finger at her lips, making her blush.

"I have some tricks up my sleeve for both of those events. Besides, I have plenty of reason to fight her." Kazuma says while looking at Artoria, his grin sending a small shudder through the King of Knights.

"…And I don't?" Jeanne says through mostly closed lips, glancing at his finger even as Leticia stares at her in a spiritual form only she can see.

"You got a way to bypass her sheath?"

Jeanne remains quiet, not only from a lack of an answer but also resisting a passing impulse. An impulse that makes Leticia groan.

'For the love of God Jeanne, don't bite his finger!'

'I-I wasn't going to do that! I have self control!' Jeanne thinks as Cu picks up the unconscious Kairi.

"…You sure about this Kazuma? Him I'm starting to get because he's a servant influenced by birds, but you?"

"Yes. I know I'm not going to stay dead, and it'll only be a problem if I try dealing with Ritsuka now after that…Noble Phantasm of mine…Not to mention Fergus is probably still affecting him." Kazuma trails off while speaking, and Cu nods.

"I'll keep the pervert in check…wait, isn't Fergus still in the afterlife room now with Eris and Alaya?" Cu asks.

Kazuma pales.

"…Crap…"



===

"What in the-" Mordred starts to ask but stops when she sees the depravity and smells the divine's fear in the afterlife room.

To her side is a smiling Alaya, with a Fergus nearby. Another three wander and smell the air.

"What the Hell are you doing dragging me here?" Mordred asks, while ignoring the crying Aqua further away.

"Finally accomplishing what I set out to do before all this madness."

"And what's that?"

"Stopping you from becoming king of course!"

Mordred raises her blade with a flourish.

The Fergusi grin and raise their weapons.

"W-wait, I can explain! We don't need to fight!" Alaya says as Aqua's cries turn to low moans.

"You're standing in the way of my Kinghood. Father has already, possibly, approved of me… somewhat I think? I'm still a little unsure about him, but as for you there is no other option for me but to try and kill a-"

"If you become King, the world ends!" Alaya shouts.

"How?!"

"Because you're a hotheaded idiot and your rule will lead your homeland to ruin, which will rewrite subsequent events in history, culminating in a nuclear wasteland!"

"How the Hell does my rule lead to nuclear annihilation?! There weren't even cars in my lifetime! And you are one to call someone hotheaded and idiotic!" Mordred says while pointing at Alaya.

"I know it best because this kind of scenario happens a lot more than you would think! I even have a file!" Alaya says before materializing a thick folder titled 'events that cause nukes to fall'.

"Then I'll just be prudent and avoid that one scenario."

"There are 24 scenarios with you in this folder alone."

"How?!"

"About half of them involved a two front war."

"Then I won't do that!"

"Half of the other half is a three front war, and the other half is you being killed by a bastard child of yours." Alaya says making Mordred frown.

"If it helps, you're only about 5% of the 'M' category!" Alaya says, leading to a moment of silence save for Aqua's corner.

"Eris…please help me~."

"Out of curiosity, how exactly we're you going to prevent me attempting Kinghood in here?" Mordred asks, and Alaya gestures to both Aqua's defilement and the grinning Fergus beside her.

Mordred summons her armor and makes her blade glow.

Two Fergus grin and another sighs.

"I suspected negotiation was not your strongest skill, but I didn't think it would be this bad…" Fergus says.

"I thought she would see reason and be curious about whatever broke me…" Alaya says as Aqua warbles further away.

"And now a Goddess…Does that mean you don't want to fight and bed her?" Alaya asks.

"Oh no, I absolutely do! But don't you think it is a bit unfair when I have high quality mana powering me? Especially since pulling her here cut off her connection and mana with her master." Fergus asks as three squeals of horror ring out. Eris and the angels are discovered.

Mordred growls a moment before grinning at Eris.

Eris sighs before speaking.

"…My will creates your body."

"And my sword protects your chastity!"

Three seals appear on her hand and Mordred smiles, as does Fergus.

"W-wait…Eris, what are you doing?" Alaya stops when Mordred appears in front of her with full teeth grin.

"Saving the Heavens!" Eris shouts.

"By kicking all your asses!" Mordred shouts before kicking Alaya with enough force to go through a wall of shadow before parrying a spear for her head, now drawing the other Fergus' in the room to themselves.



====



"…I thought you would run away and let those two deal with me." Artoria says as Jeanne, Rin, and Cu leave.

"I wanted to give you a fair chance Elizabeth." Servant Kazuma says.

"…I'm going to enjoy seeing you bleed." Artoria says before readying her blade and thrusting outward, a harsh gale shooting out towards Servant Kazuma's head. He manages to avoid the brunt of the attack in time.

But she doesn't.

Red feathers surround Mordred the robin as half her body is disintegrated. Both Kazuma's kneel at her side, grimacing at the damage.

"No…Not the good Mordred!"

"The good-?! My son, traitor he may be, is far better than some birdy faker!" Artoria shouts.

"By my- cwough cwough!"

"Don't speak! Heal!"

"I'm…too far gone…" Robin Mordred says before raising half a wonderful smelling wing.

"By my cwomannd seal…end this tyrant!"

The wing drops into Kazuma's palm, the seals gone along with any warmth.

"…You didn't need a command seal for me to do that." Servant Kazuma says before he stands and approaches Artoria.

"Oh, you're approaching me? Did you forget you're class is the least suited to combat?"

"Can't show you the meaning of gender equality without getting closer." Kazuma says, making Artoria chuckle.

"You call that a Noble Phantasm? It's so…bird brained~."

'Amazing!' Shakespeare thinks with open mouthed glee.

'Sudden dramatic death, banter, the promise of excessive violence, and most importantly, ample room for creative liberties! I must have been summoned to this Grail War to witness this event!' He thinks, writing with bated breath and a shaky hand as Artoria instantly closes the distance to Servant Kazuma, her golden blade catching the light as it descends to his head, but instead of the rending of sinew and cleaving through pitiful bone, a dull thud rings out.

Excalibur is lodged between the two bony growths on the blue heads of two large birds.



===



Ritsuka looks at Rin and the others with a twitching eye while on the airship, Mash listlessly standing between them.

"You can't stop us from boarding." Jeanne says and Ritsuka pulls up her phone.

"I really don't think your luck will help you here missy." Cu says.

"It saved me before from the situation he put me in; I refuse to have that bastard on board! I know he's using lurk and having you distract me so he can climb on undetected."

"He's not doing that. He's dealing with Artoria."

"Yeah sure, and I'm the queen of England."

"…Why are you so mad? Sure, he put you in a bad situation, but I don't know if he knew what he was doing, and I doubt this was the first time you were in a bad situation." Cu asks.

"It's the first time she was stripped without warning." Mash says.

"…Just be glad you had another trench coat on you…I'll still remember this though."

"Wait, I thought you would be wearing Artoria's outfit since she was wearing yours when she appeared near us?" Jeanne asks.

"I was. Then that uncomfortable outfit vanished, leaving me in my birthday suit! I still don't have shoes!" Ritsuka says while pointing at her bare feet.

"Wait how did you lose the-" Rin stops when she recalls Artoria summoned her clothes after being summoned by Kazuma.

"The only good thing about it was that MHX slowed down long enough for me to make another summon!"

"Was that why Avicebron and Medea vanished?"

"Karna too…Least Grandpa is safe at last…" Ritsuka says with a shudder.

'Can't believe he insisted on Mash moving her shield after knowing I was…no amount of therapy is going to help…'

"Wait, weren't you hesitant on sending Lancelot to Chaldea due to the other Artoria there? Wouldn't that be the case with MHX too?" Rin asks.

"Not quite. She can at least still be reasoned with in her own way even as a Berserker, isn't as destructive as a Grand Berserker…maybe… and we have countermeasures drilled into everyone there for her specifically."

After a moment Jeanne coughs before speaking.

"Kazuma really is fighting Artoria."

"You got proof?" Ritsuka asks and the group remains quiet until a horrendously loud crashing is heard a distance away, causing reverberations through the remaining gardens, making the descent speed up. Raucous laughter is carried on the wind.

The laughter is unmistakably Kazuma's.

As is the scream of agony.

"I believe you now. Welcome aboard." Ritsuka says.





===A few minutes earlier===



"What in the world-?!" Artoria is cut off when one bird kicks her back, the talons leaving scratches on her armor.

"What the Hell kind of birds are those?!"

"We are what your kind calls Cassowaries, we are from the land down under!" One says.

"And as members of Avain-lon, we shall tear your hopes asunder!" The other says, presenting an emblem on its chest of a bird pulling a sword from a stone, making Artoria's eye twitch.

"This is absurd…a bird can't stop my blade!"

"We are unlike any bird you ever fought before, you insolent murderous lad!"

"For we are from the elite combat unit, Galahad!" The one Cassowary says, making Artoria clench her handle with white knuckles.

"How much of my life will you sully in your imitation? Your so called kingdom hasn't even been around a month!"

"True, we are new, but that won't stop us from making you a footnote in our fable!"

"Bards will speak of your fall against the mighty Nightingales of the Round Table!"

"They're right!" Shakespeare shouts from afar.

Before Artoria can articulate her outrage, she feels something warm and gooey hit her head.

She channels her mana, both clearing the bird poo off and empowering her next attack.

The Galahad duo ready themselves. Servant Kazuma raises his hand.

'Now that she is distracted, I'll steal her beloved sword and-'

An impact knocks him on his back, making him cough blood. He looks up at both the shocked Cassowaries and the grinning Artoria. On the floor in front of them is Excalibur.

'She threw her blade pommel first into me?!' Servant Kazuma thinks in abject shock before one Cassowary bites onto the blade, holding it tightly in his beak.

"Gah…Fool, you may have got a cheeky…strike in, but you should have thrown…point first…" Servant Kazuma says as he stands up, wondering for a moment why Artoria has her hand raised as she laughs.

"You call me a fool?…Why would I give you a quick death after everything? I purposefully threw it pommel first!"

"But why would you toss your blade aside and leave yourself unar-"

"Steal!" she shouts, cutting him off as the familiar light fills the room.

"What?!" Both Kazumas shout, now seeing her holding her sword again in one hand, and grabbing the stunned Cassowary that was also stolen by the neck. In the next moment, she pushes the blade forward, cutting through the bird's head like butter.

"Brother!" The other Cassowary shouts with a tear in his eye as the lifeless body hits the floor.

"Don't worry. You'll join him soon, with a bit of butter and garlic~." Artoria says as she flourishes her sword, the excess blood whipping off it as some drip from her face and hand.

"Lurk." Both Kazuma say.

Artoria sighs and closes her eyes.

"I'm surprised you didn't do that s-" She startles when Servant Kazuma reappears next to her, pivoting into a hook for Artoria's face. She languidly prepares to stab him, keeping a chuckle in check.

'What an idiot. He really thinks his measly punch will-'

Artoria feels a tooth crack on impact as she is sent flying some distance, momentarily blinded by pain before landing on her feet. She cups her cheek in utter shock.

"Wha- how-? That actually hurt?! But you're a shut in pervert!"

"I may be a Caster and a new servant, but I can still hurt anyone with lower divinity than me."

"DIVINITY?! You of all people are-?! From…From BIRDS?!" Artoria shakes as she shouts, her tooth already healing.

"It is the power of heartfelt prayer! I also do extra damage with my 'gender equality punch' against women!"

"That's not equality, that's misogyny!"

"…Spoken just like a woman." Kazuma the Caster says, making Artoria raise her blade, now glowing.

"EX-"

A thud behind her that shakes the Gardens and a shadow covering her makes her stop.

Artoria slowly looks behind her and sees a giant of scaly creature of muscle look down at her with yellow eyes, the black center focused on her as a mouth opens, showing rows of teeth, each one taller than Artoria.

"That's…not a-" She starts before looking at the creature's tiny arms.

It has a few pitiful feathers on said arms.

"You have got to be kidding me…"

"What better match for a tyrannical king, than a benevolent one! Get her almighty Bene-Avian Rex, the link between bird and reptile, King Arthur!" Kazuma shouts with the biggest shit eater grin before laughing as the dino-avian lunges forward with an open mouth.

Time slows for Artoria as the jaws of the beast descends.

'Honestly…this is least annoying creature to bear my name.'

The jaws close around Artoria. She screams and kicks uselessly as the animal with her name tilts upward, chewing a few times before swallowing and roaring in glee.

'I am never eating chicken or reptiles ever again…' Kazuma the human thinks with wide eyes while still in lurk.

'Hmm…Quite the spectacle, but not quite worth being the final blow…I can always rewrite this part and-' Shakespeare stops when the hairs on his neck rise up.

'I feel a plot armor activating!'

"Excellent job King Arthur!" Caster Kazuma says.

"Do not praise me All Father…the tyrant, though hurt, still lives."

"What?! How?" He asks before seeing the giant tremble and fall to one knee, blood spilling from its maw.

"Her…sheathe saved her life. Even now she is cleaving through my insides…but do not worry…I may die, but I have taken away her healing!" The giant says before opening his mouth to show Artoria's sheathe is lodged in his teeth. He clenches his mouth shut and groans as Excalibur pokes out of his side.

"The rest…is up to you…" He says before falling forward as a hole is torn open and Artoria jumps out, now completely red from the top of a somehow still standing straight strand of hair to her toes. She walks a few steps before stumbling and forced to use Excalibur to hold herself up while coughing her own blood, gashes and wounds all over her body.

"This is…complete…and utter…" Artoria coughs more blood, one hand on her side as she is unable to finish the gripe.

Birds crow in triumph at the sight.

Servant Kazuma confidently walks up to Artoria with the biggest grin, a hop in his step that threatens to become a merry skip even as he restrains himself.

He waits for Artoria to manage to meet his gaze, the scowl not scaring him nearly as much as before.

Especially as he starts lightly slapping her face, alternating between backhands and front handed slaps, making Artoria shake and growl as he giggles, each contemptible sound of joy making her eye color flicker.

"Any last words before I end this, you-"

Artoria lunges forward, eyes a blazing gold as she sinks her teeth into Caster Kazuma's forearm, an audible snap rings in the room, followed by a scream.



===A few minutes earlier===

MHX brings her sword down and hits air, taking a moment to look around the room.

"Where is that red headed nudist Saber!? And where am I now?!"

"You're-" Achilles stops when Goredolf grips his shoulder.

"It was only a matter of time before your kind found this safe house too…" He says before handing Achilles a pamphlet. Inside it says 'Mysterious Heroine X/ Space Artoria contingency plans' and Goredolf taps one titled 'when MHX appears enraged'. Chiron and Atalanta have one too.

"Is this safe haven to be destroyed too?!" Chiron says with unusual zeal.

"Oh…Is nowhere safe for Berserkers and the other knight classes?" Atalanta says with blank eyes.

"Safe…haven?" MHX asks while looking at Chiron's, Scathach's, and Achilles' weapons before paling.

"W-wait…you're under persecution from…B-but I'm not, I can't be…I-I changed back I swear!" MHX says with wide eyes while looking at the dead and injured.

"I…truly stared into the abyss…" She mutters before sinking into a corner with her head in hands.

"…Don't you think this is too far?" Atalanta whispers.

"We'll debrief and feed her some of her favorites soon." Goredolf whispers back.

"I still want to go back to Romania." Achilles says and Goredolf has the preparations for the warp made, showing a glimpse of where he will land.

On the screen is a blood covered Artoria with blazing yellow eyes, crunching Kazuma's arm in her mouth before pulling back and ripping everything from below the elbow off in one violent motion. Caster Kazuma staggers backwards, alternating between his newly made squirting stump and the smiling Artoria who takes a long drink of fresh blood before spitting the limb aside, looking him in the eye as she licks her lips, standing straighter now that she is recovered.

"I retract my request; I never want to set foot in that God forsaken land of Romania ever again…There's no way that Saber is a noble knight…" Achilles says with pale cheeks as others look on in open mouthed horror, or in Scathach's case, curiousty. MHX looks up at the screen, and then goes back to her existential horror.

"That's obviously a Berserker…"

'What in the Hell is going on over there?!' Goredolf thinks as he sees a dead T-rex nearby.

"…Should I note this day down as a possible recurring Singularity like Halloween or summer, sir?"

"I doubt it is one…but better safe than sorry."



===



Caster Kazuma stares at his stump a moment longer before looking at the smiling Artoria approach.

"What the Hell is wrong with you…?!" He asks before Excalibur slashes out, and his vision tumbles to the ground.

The birds Gwasp.

Artoria laughs with a hand at her head, saying 'Finally!'.

Kazuma sneaks to the exit, stopping when the laughter ends and he sees Artoria looking at him.

'Calm down Kazuma…Servants can't see you while you're using lurk…just move slowly and it'll be fine…' He thinks, trying to suppress his shudders as Artoria begins walking in his direction.

"I can smell the fearful sweating~." Artoria says, making Kazuma warble and groan.

Then the birds chirp a joyous note in unison, puzzling Artoria, and Kazuma relaxes somewhat.

Artoria is sent flying once more, this time into a wall.

She stands back up and sees the Caster is whole once more.

"What? How are you-"

"Because I don't stay dead when I am killed!"

"What do you mean you don't stay-" Artoria stops when she recalls a bit of conversation from a long time ago

"You also bungled into a Holy Grail war during your vacation and died enough times to be on a first name basis with a Goddess of the departed!"

"Oh dear God, you have a revive ability too…" Artoria mutters as Kazuma raises his hand, blinding the room once more. When it fades Artoria finds nothing is missing.

But her blade is duller and less ornate now.

"What in the…?"

"I have stolen the concept of Excalibur!"

"What? What does that even mean?!" Artoria asks as a golden aura surrounds her. She runs forward to get out of the spell's range, only for the aura to follow her. She swings her sword, hoping to cleave through Kazuma before it finishes, only to find herself flipping in the air from the force of her swing, tumbling in the air before landing on something and tumbling to the side, before falling a short distance. She grabs a railing with one hand, looking around her to study her surroundings a moment. She is in the air, birds circling in random areas and the Gardens in the air behind her.

'Getting really sick of these sudden teleports…Where am I now?' She wonders before looking the other way as she starts to pull herself up, stopping when she sees three pairs of eyes grinning down at her, sending a shiver of dread through Artoria.

The faces looking at her are Mash, Rin, and the Saint.

'…Figures he sends me to a trio worse than the Gorgon sisters…' Artoria thinks as Mash raises the shield and hits Artoria in the head.

As she is falling she sees gander shots whizzing at her, unable to keep up with the velocity of her fall. She sees the Saint's mouth moving even as the distance grows, somewhat recognizing the French words from her lip movements.

'Roar O rage of mine? Why is she-'

The spike impaling her back upon the harsh impact answers that question.

As Artoria once more tastes her own blood, she takes a moment to steady her breath before breaking part of the thing piercing her before rising to her feet. After another moment of breathing she looks up and sees the Gardens are now much closer and about to land on top of her current location.

'…Fourth time is bound to be the charm…Hopefully Mordred and Lancelot are doing better…' Artoria thinks as the Gardens crashes on top of her.



===A minute earlier===



Kazuma grabs Kazuma and heads for the ledge. Perched there is a pterodactyl with feathers looking flatly at them.

The thinly feathered member of Avain-lon grabs them with it's talons and flies off from the Gardens. Using their enhanced vision they see Artoris is square in the path of the Garden's landing and smile.

'Wow, everything is going great!' Both Kazuma think at the same time.

They feel dread at the same time at this realization, and it is answered the same time as the pterodactyl starts loosening it's grip on them.

"A question, so called All Father…if a God can die, are they really a God?"

"What are you getting at?" Kazuma asks with a bead of sweat down his neck.

"If a God is unable or unwilling to help, can they still be a God? How many birds died despite your being here, how many tribes, including mine, have gone extinct?"

"You can't blame me for that!"

"Perhaps…but that does not change the validity of my question…nor does it change my views."

"Those views being?"

"I'm a deist, and I about to observe your fall~."

'How the Hell do they have multiple views on faith already?!' Both Kazuma wonders before screaming as he is dropped. Human Kazuma grabs Servant Kazuma gets behind him.

"What the Hell?!"

"You're more durable than me!"

"No I'm not!" Caster Kazuma says before wrestling with his human self for who takes the brunt of the impact. Caster Kazuma punches human Kazuma.

"I'm a man, gender equality doesn't affect me!" Kazuma says before punching Kazuma.

"But my Divinity!?"

"I'm an Eris follower!"

"That doesn't even make sense, damn it!" Caster Kazuma shouts before getting held in place as he sees the ground zooming closer.