Interlude: Blackjack and Hookers
Axle
Know what you're doing yet?
- Joined
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Author's Note: Meant to do this after the Mouse Protector Saga. Sorry for the inconsistent ordering.
XXX
Vivan typed away on his laptop searching various possible locations they could run away to. "How about… Seattle?"
Aryana sat at the table across from him. They were sitting at a coffee shop, they had a few hours before moving to the next store. "Can't," she said. "Seattle is near the Elite headquarters. Accord sells plans to them, we'd get caught quick if we moved to the west coast."
"How about Utah?" Vivan asked. Now they were on the front steps of a colonial historical site. It was a good thing the site had wifi. "There's robot tinker there that's pretty badass."
Aryana's mouth twitched. She had a headphone on, and had gotten used to half-listening to Vivan as he threw possibilities at the wall, "listen, you might as well assume everything west of the Mississippi is off limits. Between the Elite and the Fallen, those places are death sentences for anyone that wants to be independent like us."
Vivan typed on the tablet as they walked across a busy street crowd. Aryana sighed, and could only think of one stupid possibility for them to have a team, instead of just being alone. She stopped Vivan from walking, and took the tablet from his hand.
She googled the words 'Uber and Leet.' "Look," she said facing the screen towards him.
The screen turned onto two young adults in two mega man suits. "Zero!" Uber said, "Dr Wily is at it again!"
Leet had a megaman Zero costume, complete with a bright green plasma blade. "Now that I think about it, I should've been Dr fucking Wily."
"Don't break character!" Uber scolded.
"But you just did!" Leet bickered back.
Two gang members tried charging at them as they bickered, but they quickly turned their laser weapons at them, and caused burns as they shot and slashed at the gang members.
Aryana said, "these guys, these guys are perfect. Nobody knows them, not a huge threat, and they look fun to be around."
Vivan looked at the screen as they fired their plasma lasers at the teenagers. They laughed maniacally as they did it, to which Vivan frowned. "They're just… Bullies. I remember liking their first few videos when they started out… But that Grand theft auto video really freaked me out."
Aryana rolled her eyes. Things like that were tame from her viewpoint. "It's not like they murdered anyone."
"Still, they hurt people. And they put it on camera, how could we join guys that are okay with that?"
Aryana frowned. She didn't believe justice mattered, but she could at least make villainy more bearable for Vivan. "How about this, if we join them, we start beating up pimps once a week."
Vivan shook his head, "that's not really the point, they hurt people, and that matters more than anything else."
Aryana clicked her tongue, "alright, how about this; if we join them, we stakeout ABB warehouses for prostitution, and tip off the PRT of their locations."
"Hmmm.."
To drive the point home, Aryana used Vivan's feminism against him. "Aaaaand, we'll donate the money we steal from them to domestic violence shelters."
Vivan clicked his tongue, "alright, let's do it."
Aryana threw the tablet at a concrete wall, "internet here we come!"
The tablet shattered. Vivan said, "you paid for that…"
"Don't worry," Aryana said, "believe me when I say this, villain shit pays well."
Vivan sighed, "but do you really think they'd agree with the plan?"
"Leave that to me, I have a way with words."
XXX
Robert glared down at Aryana, "no."
Aryana and Robert glared deep into each other. While Edwin leaned back on the sofa with his head deep in thought, Vivan sat at the kitchen table with a laptop sitting in front of him.
Aryana yelled, "quite being a pussy and just do it. Vivan, queue Shia Lebeauf."
Vivan played a 'just do it' montage over his laptop. Robert gritted his teeth as the soundtrack played in the background.
As soon as the music stop, Robert shouted at her. "We're not goddamn heroes. We sure as hell aren't gonna start screwing over Lung just because of something we did months ago."
"The hookers you beat up were Korean," Vivan said. "You're already on his bad side."
Robert retorted, "who gives a damn if some hookers got beaten up? Lung sure as hell doesn't. Those hookers couldn't even speak english, they were nobodies, and we don't have to make up for anything."
Vivan pouted, "nobodies, that's an ironic word coming from you guys."
Robert almost said something, but Aryana intervened, "nobodies gotta stick together. The PRT doesn't spend nearly enough resources investigating these non-cape crimes, let's level the playing field. No one has to know, we'll just do the detective stuff, and the PRT will do the dangerous stuff."
Robert frowned, "and why… The hell should we waste our time doing that."
"Reputation," Aryana clapped her hands together. "It's time we find direction in ourselves. Figure out exactly what villains we want to be, and exactly what we do and don't stand for. You two, ruined your image the moment that GTA video went up. You guys went to fun guys having fun, to psychopathic guys having psychopathic fun. Your viewership went down, and for good reason. It's time we portray ourselves as something more than just villains. As people, who happen to have superpowers."
"Let me repeat myself," Robert said, "I'm not risking my ass to save people who don't matter. No one cares about gang members, it doesn't matter if those rings keep going."
Vivan murmured, "it matters to them..."
Aryana couldn't help but sympathize Robert's point. There really wasn't anything to gain from it, and for every ring they could stop, another one would prop up to take its place. It was a large risk for an ultimately meaningless purpose.
Arayan flew over to the Sofa. Edwin still had his head tilted back, in a daze not wanting to interrupt. "Edwin!" Aryana yelled, making Edwin to snap forward in shock. Aryana leaned close to his face, "you're with me on this one, right?"
Aryana was so close to him that she breathed onto his cheeks. Edwin turned bright red and mumbled, "um…"
Robert hissed, "Edwin, don't you dare say it."
Edwin swallowed, and turned his head away from her. "I mean, I don't see what the big deal is. We'd be doing it secretly, the PRT would do the fighting, it's not that bad."
Robert yelled, "goddamnit Edwin, stop thinking with your dick."
Edwin yelled back, "I'm not thinking with my dick!"
"No take backs," Aryana leaped back from the sofa in a proud stance, "since this is a democracy, and its 3 to 1-"
"Not a democracy," Robert retorted, "we're villains, I'm leader, and I say no."
Edwin fell quiet again. He wasn't going to argue with his best friend.
Aryana noticed that Vivan's mouth was contorted, like talking more with these people disgusted him. That was a problem. Sure, Aryana could convince Vivan to join them anyway, without the conditions mentioned, but she wasn't going to force Vivan to join a villain team he hated without a silver lining.
Aryana pointed to Edwin, "Edwin, you know how you said Toy Box kicked you out? Let's make a deal. If I can get Leet back into Toy Box, you guys have to do these stakeouts with us."
Edwin and Robert turned to stare at each other. Robert said, "you know Toy Box hates him, right?"
She answered, "I'm aware of that. Me and Vivan will do the stakeouts on our own in the meantime. If I can get Edwin back in, will you both agree to make up for that GTA bullcrap you did?"
Robert chuckled. From what he saw from her, he guessed she had her head in the clouds, believing things were easier than they actually were. "Alright fine. But if you don't manage to do it, not only do you both drop this stakeout thing." Robert took his hand out for a shake. "But you also have to agree to cosplay whichever way I want."
Aryana grinned. "In that case, if I win, you ALSO have to wear whatever I say. Kapeesh?"
"Kapeesh."
They both shook hands.
XXX
Aryana headed towards Robert and Edwin's apartment. Yellow PIkman filled the hallways as she walked forward. She put no effort to miss stepping on them, and managed to squish dozens underneath her boots as she walked forward.
The apartment complex was infested with them. Having the drug supplies as living nintendo creatures was a spontaneous idea, but it made collecting and categorizing ingredients as easy as picking up colored tomatoes that walked towards you.
Phase one of Arayana's plan was complete, steal enough money to create self-supplying organic drugs. Accord taught her that self-reliance was key. To have things weaved together so tightly that no single chess piece on the board was vital. Now, they could all make high-quality drugs without fear of losing supply. And since it was made with tinker mutated ingredients, no one else could compete with them in terms of quality.
We have become a useful asset, Aryana thought to herself, we're not nobodies anymore. People will want what we can offer.
Aryana was also lucky Edwin had confidence issues. He'd listen to anything she'd say, as long as the possibility of her loving him back was always there. Edwin never risked making edible Tinker drugs until she pushed him into taking risks.
Was it manipulation? Sure. Was it worth it? Yup.
Aryana entered Robert and Edwin's apartment room. Their apartment building had dozens of multiple colored Pikman. Purple, blue, yellow, albino. He had them all separated in the corners of the living room to prevent them from mixing.
Aryana stepped in and walked to the kitchen table Robert was eating. She proceeded to scrape off the yellow Pikman that was smeared underneath her foot. She went out of her way to scrape it across the chair next to him, to let him see her remove the once alive Pikman from her boot.
"Why do you like killing my childhood?" Robert asked casually.
"Because some people love to watch the world burn."
Aryana fell back on the carpet, and began rolling all over the yellow Pikman. "Pikman genocide!" She yelled. "Mwahaha, ethnic cleansing! Am I not villain enough for you!?"
Robert commented, "Christ you're fucked up."
Edwin rubbed his forehead, he couldn't help but chuckle at what was happening. "Just be careful where you roll. Things go really bad when the colors mix."
Aryana stopped rolling and laughed, "haha, that's so racist."
Edwin's face quickly turned red, "you know what I mean!"
Aryana grinned, "anyway, that's why I'm here. Vivan wanted to feel more American today, so he covered himself in red, white, and blue Pikman, and began rolling on them while screaming team America. He passed out and hasn't woke up since."
Edwin's face paled, "fuck, I gotta go!" He ran out the room.
XXX
Another thing Accord taught Aryana; people will work together as long it serves a certain self interest. The moment that purpose is served, be prepared to break ties.
Gangs typically fall into four motives; Money, Ideology, Coercion, and Ego. Merchants? Definitely money. Their reputation was pathetic, and had nothing to lose working for them. So when Rush, Leet, and Uber walked forward to them, handed them a sample of their newest product, they had no reason to turn it down.
Mush was so high it looked like he wasn't coming back. He was responsive enough to let Skidmark know that the product was worth a price. "Aight," Skidmark said, "you give us a weight of your blues, and we'll spread it around like wildfire."
Light was looking to the side of the warehouse. His eyes were locked at two teenagers on a worn down sofa, both wore catholic school uniforms, and were so dazed it was obvious they were strung up on heroine. Light whispered into Rush's ear, "can you make them stop recruiting kids?"
Rush snapped her head back at him. She whispered, "you cereal?"
Light nodded.
Rush moaned. She'd noticed the teenage heroine addicts when they arrived, but it was easy for her to ignore. Nothing new, in the world of villainy.
Rush said to Skidmark, "tell you what, Skidmark. Since we're new to the game, we'll cut you some slack. We'll sell this stuff exclusively to you, and no one else in the city, as long as you agree to stop selling and recruiting to kids."
The four Merchant members laughed at the girl, "and why the fuck we oughta do that? Dem high schoolers are the ones who work best."
Rush chuckled, "Three reasons. One, kids are shitty gang members. Once you start getting money from our meth, you won't have to rely on kids in training bras to sell your product. Better muscle will be come in soon, so you might as well cut off the weak fat now before they become a liability. Two, we'll let you have a bigger cut of the share. Think of it as a condition for you selling our product. An ethics fee, if you will."
Rush tapped on Leet's shoulder, "and three, if you do this, Leet will lend you the super genius drug the rest of us are on."
"What?" the Merchant members asked together.
Leet stared at Rush, "wat?"
"That's right," Rush tapped her noggin. "Every one of us are on super pills right now. You know how the mind can only access 10% of its capability? Our pills let us access all of it. We can process information faster than the human mind. Great when you have to improvise in combat, it might as well make us Thinkers. We'll share that with all of you for free, if you stop recruiting high schoolers."
Skidmark squinted, "alright, but I want a sample of this shit first. And I'm a give it to a member to see if it works."
Rush smiled, "fine by us."
They left the warehouse, and Light was the only one smiling underneath the mask. Uber was frowning, pissed that they'd just lost a big cut and delayed the lab project by a month.
Leet said, "Aryana, what the fuck?"
"Can you?"
"I don't fucking know," Edwin said, "that's not how the mind works. Where'd you come up with that brain bullshit?"
"Can you at least fake it?"
"I don't…Know..."
"Just make it convincing Leet, I need you for this."
XXXX
Vivan wore a Darth Vader suit looking at the video camera, "alright, here's the thing. I'm an ecosystem tinker as you can see." Pikman were standing all around behind him. They were shrouded in darkness, and looked more like tiny demons with their glowing bright eyes that made them look intimidating.
"I need a large place to hold my creatures. So I'd like to make a deal. I heard Dodge could create dimensions, I want to not only buy a dimension from him, but customize one. Give me some time to work together with him, and I'm willing to help make biosphere dimensions for all the tinkers of Toy box."
"Like rental property…" Cranium said, intrigued by the idea.
"That's right, me and Dodge can split rent income fifty fifty."
Cranium added, "after the thirty three percent cut from Toy Box, I presume."
"Of course," Vivan said.
Cranium nodded her head. "Alright, I'll tell Dodge to visit you guys. You also said you work with the Merchants?"
"I'm new in town," Vivan answered.
"Don't offer him any drugs, or I'll personally reign hell down on you."
Vivan lifted a thumbs up, "I'd never dream of it."
XXX
"Alright Dodge," Cranium said, "you'll just work with this Tinker for a few days, and then get commission when you finish."
Dodge gulped, "but… what if they kill me?"
"It's alright Dodge, the guy works for the Merchants. Beyond drugs, they don't do stupid things like murder."
"But…"
"Listen, Dodge," Cranium put a hand on his shoulder, "you'll be fine. The guy is offering something Toy Box could use, something that could help us grew fast. I never even thought of providing labs for tinkers, but if this works, more tinkers will come to us and join us for supplies in exchange for commission. This is exactly what Toy Box always needed, I never knew it until the chance came up."
Dodge fell quiet. Cranium added, "but if you really feel too afraid to work with others, I'll understand. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to."
Dodge swallowed, Cranium gave him so much, he wasn't going to let her down. "O-okay, I'll do it."
XXX
Dodge entered their apartment complex, visibly nervous. He was slouched, pulling his finger nails to quench his anxiety. A heavy breathing echoed from the hallway. The lights were dim, so what appeared next seemingly came from the darkness itself.
It was a large black cloak. A mask covered his face, and breathing became more intimidating as he slowly walked forward.
Dodge eeped at the sight of him. He fell back panting, thinking this dark cloaked man would somehow cut him down.
When he finally reached in front of Dodge, Leet took of his mask. "Relax kid, you seriously telling me you never watched Star Wars?"
Dodge's eyes beamed up, "you.. like Star Wars?"
"You have no idea."
Leet took Dodge by the hand and they walked to the basement floor of the building. He had a lab full of supplies ready for the both of them. In a few days, a network of pocket dimensions and various biospheres would be ready.
They passed by Uber and Rush as they walked towards the basement. Uber said, "I...can't believe this is working"
Rush smiled, "so, how do you feel about Sailor Moon's outfit?"
XXX
One month later
Cranium gritted her teeth, "fucking Leet?"
They stared at the living room tv screen that was hooked up to a communication line with Cranium. Dodge, Light, and Leet were all sitting on the sofa enjoying pizza. While Dodge was shocked to learn that Cranium hated Leet so much, Uber and Rush were standing to do the rest of the talking.
Uber said, "The contract states, both Dodge and Darth Vader have full ownership over the dimension ecosystem real estate. They share ownership equally. Seeing as we alternate aliases regularly, the contract stands as is since Leet was Darth Vader at the time.
Dodge can also nullify the contract anytime, but that would mean the ecosystem tinkering returns to us, turning most of his dimensions useless."
Cranium's eye twitched. Uber grinned at her face, reeling in Cranium's anger. Even though Uber never admitted it, he hated that she'd insulted Leet too. It was his chance to make her feel weak.
"To be honest," Uber said twisting the knife, "at this point I don't care if you cancel it anyway. It's good to know you'd lose a shit ton of money just because of your pride."
Cranium smashed her fist against her keyboard, but didn't say anything. Cranium could've ordered Dodge to stop working with him, but there was too much profit potential from this. "Fine, he can work with our other tinkers, but only as a non-member. He'll have to negotiate with them individually."
Uber grinned as Rush's jaw dropped. He pointed at Rush, "hah! He's not a member, I win the bet."
Cranium cocked her head back, "bet?"
"Fuck," Rush yelled. She turned to Leet, "give up your ownership to be a member!"
Leet blinked, "that's a terrible idea, I wouldn't get rent money!"
Uber said, "get ready to start wearing cargo pants!"
Rush yelled back, "fuck you, just make me wear cat ears like normal people!"
"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Cranium yelled, "you went through all of that for a fucking bet?"
Dodge was laughing in the background.
Uber laughed at her, "say goodbye to all your shitty fantasies."
Rush whaled out a pathetic cry.
Crainum was finally laughing, "wait, that was the bet?"
Light answered, "the bet was, Uber would have to start crossdressing as a villain, if Leet could rejoin Toy Box."
Rush mouthed the words, 'help me,' to Cranium.
Cranium finally dropped her head back in laughter. "So basically, if I let Leet in, Uber has to be her dress up doll?"
"Just do it!" Aryana yelled.
Uber covered her mouth, "it's too late, she already decided."
Cranium grinned, "well, who am I to stop a man from crossdressing?"
The rest of them froze, and everyone except Uber smiled. Cranium said, "Leet, welcome back to Toy Box."
Rush, Leet, Light, and Dodge all threw their hands up in a cheer. Uber froze with his face as pale as snow. "No…"
Rush patted his back, "I hope you like tight clothes, because from now on, you're a size small."
XXX
Present
Light and the Mousketeers were waiting on an apartment rooftop, scouting for an ABB truck to arrive and take prostitutes to other trafficking rings along the east coast. They stared down with their binoculars, and waited for the smugglers to arrive.
Light had on a ninja suit. Mouse Protector and Browbeat were standing since they were the ones that would go in and fight directly. Golem and Light were both laying on their stomachs at Buzzkill's side.
Buzzkill said, "hey Light, I got an idea for a villain heist you could do."
Mouse Protector turned her head back to squint at Taylor, but didn't interrupt her.
Light didn't stop staring down at the warehouse. "It's about time you embrace the villain side."
"Alright," Buzzkill said with a nod, "this is a bit complicated, but it involves a bank."
"Oh my," Light said, "it's so cliche it's classic,."
"You have to scout it, kind of like… how you're in a ninja costume right now."
"I also like ninjas, this sounds good."
"Step one is to get job position there. It doesn't matter which, it can be any. But the point is, go in there, and learn the ins and outs of the bank facility."
"This sounds so clever, that only a villain could think of it."
"You go on there everyday, do what they tell you, and most importantly, gain their trust."
"So conniving, such a masterful plot."
"Work there every day, and then, thirty, forty years later, you'll have a 401k plan that'll last you a lifetime."
"... wait, what?"
"The money will go in your bank account every week, they won't even realize they're being robbed."
"Taylor… did you just tell me to get a job?"
Golem bursted out laughing. Light couldn't even read her expression under her mask. She was totally smiling. "Taylor, what the fuck?"
"All bureaucrats are evil," Buzzkill said, "you'll still be a villain!"
"Goddamnit Taylor."
"They're here," Mouse Protector announced at the sound of a truck rolling by. She looked back at Light, "remember, you're only tagging along as backup. No jumping in like you do with the Losers. No one should even know you're here. Me and Browbeat will go in and do direct fighting, Buzzkill and Golem do distant fighting. And you're only here to defend them if anyone gets too close. Kapeesh?"
"Kapeesh," Light said with a thumbs up.
Mouse Protector and Browbeat went down the fire escape towards the thugs. Buzzkill said, "thanks for the help."
Light nodded, "thanks for inviting me."
Light watched with pleasure as Buzzkill and Golem summoned their minions in the distance.
XXX
Vivan typed away on his laptop searching various possible locations they could run away to. "How about… Seattle?"
Aryana sat at the table across from him. They were sitting at a coffee shop, they had a few hours before moving to the next store. "Can't," she said. "Seattle is near the Elite headquarters. Accord sells plans to them, we'd get caught quick if we moved to the west coast."
"How about Utah?" Vivan asked. Now they were on the front steps of a colonial historical site. It was a good thing the site had wifi. "There's robot tinker there that's pretty badass."
Aryana's mouth twitched. She had a headphone on, and had gotten used to half-listening to Vivan as he threw possibilities at the wall, "listen, you might as well assume everything west of the Mississippi is off limits. Between the Elite and the Fallen, those places are death sentences for anyone that wants to be independent like us."
Vivan typed on the tablet as they walked across a busy street crowd. Aryana sighed, and could only think of one stupid possibility for them to have a team, instead of just being alone. She stopped Vivan from walking, and took the tablet from his hand.
She googled the words 'Uber and Leet.' "Look," she said facing the screen towards him.
The screen turned onto two young adults in two mega man suits. "Zero!" Uber said, "Dr Wily is at it again!"
Leet had a megaman Zero costume, complete with a bright green plasma blade. "Now that I think about it, I should've been Dr fucking Wily."
"Don't break character!" Uber scolded.
"But you just did!" Leet bickered back.
Two gang members tried charging at them as they bickered, but they quickly turned their laser weapons at them, and caused burns as they shot and slashed at the gang members.
Aryana said, "these guys, these guys are perfect. Nobody knows them, not a huge threat, and they look fun to be around."
Vivan looked at the screen as they fired their plasma lasers at the teenagers. They laughed maniacally as they did it, to which Vivan frowned. "They're just… Bullies. I remember liking their first few videos when they started out… But that Grand theft auto video really freaked me out."
Aryana rolled her eyes. Things like that were tame from her viewpoint. "It's not like they murdered anyone."
"Still, they hurt people. And they put it on camera, how could we join guys that are okay with that?"
Aryana frowned. She didn't believe justice mattered, but she could at least make villainy more bearable for Vivan. "How about this, if we join them, we start beating up pimps once a week."
Vivan shook his head, "that's not really the point, they hurt people, and that matters more than anything else."
Aryana clicked her tongue, "alright, how about this; if we join them, we stakeout ABB warehouses for prostitution, and tip off the PRT of their locations."
"Hmmm.."
To drive the point home, Aryana used Vivan's feminism against him. "Aaaaand, we'll donate the money we steal from them to domestic violence shelters."
Vivan clicked his tongue, "alright, let's do it."
Aryana threw the tablet at a concrete wall, "internet here we come!"
The tablet shattered. Vivan said, "you paid for that…"
"Don't worry," Aryana said, "believe me when I say this, villain shit pays well."
Vivan sighed, "but do you really think they'd agree with the plan?"
"Leave that to me, I have a way with words."
XXX
Robert glared down at Aryana, "no."
Aryana and Robert glared deep into each other. While Edwin leaned back on the sofa with his head deep in thought, Vivan sat at the kitchen table with a laptop sitting in front of him.
Aryana yelled, "quite being a pussy and just do it. Vivan, queue Shia Lebeauf."
Vivan played a 'just do it' montage over his laptop. Robert gritted his teeth as the soundtrack played in the background.
As soon as the music stop, Robert shouted at her. "We're not goddamn heroes. We sure as hell aren't gonna start screwing over Lung just because of something we did months ago."
"The hookers you beat up were Korean," Vivan said. "You're already on his bad side."
Robert retorted, "who gives a damn if some hookers got beaten up? Lung sure as hell doesn't. Those hookers couldn't even speak english, they were nobodies, and we don't have to make up for anything."
Vivan pouted, "nobodies, that's an ironic word coming from you guys."
Robert almost said something, but Aryana intervened, "nobodies gotta stick together. The PRT doesn't spend nearly enough resources investigating these non-cape crimes, let's level the playing field. No one has to know, we'll just do the detective stuff, and the PRT will do the dangerous stuff."
Robert frowned, "and why… The hell should we waste our time doing that."
"Reputation," Aryana clapped her hands together. "It's time we find direction in ourselves. Figure out exactly what villains we want to be, and exactly what we do and don't stand for. You two, ruined your image the moment that GTA video went up. You guys went to fun guys having fun, to psychopathic guys having psychopathic fun. Your viewership went down, and for good reason. It's time we portray ourselves as something more than just villains. As people, who happen to have superpowers."
"Let me repeat myself," Robert said, "I'm not risking my ass to save people who don't matter. No one cares about gang members, it doesn't matter if those rings keep going."
Vivan murmured, "it matters to them..."
Aryana couldn't help but sympathize Robert's point. There really wasn't anything to gain from it, and for every ring they could stop, another one would prop up to take its place. It was a large risk for an ultimately meaningless purpose.
Arayan flew over to the Sofa. Edwin still had his head tilted back, in a daze not wanting to interrupt. "Edwin!" Aryana yelled, making Edwin to snap forward in shock. Aryana leaned close to his face, "you're with me on this one, right?"
Aryana was so close to him that she breathed onto his cheeks. Edwin turned bright red and mumbled, "um…"
Robert hissed, "Edwin, don't you dare say it."
Edwin swallowed, and turned his head away from her. "I mean, I don't see what the big deal is. We'd be doing it secretly, the PRT would do the fighting, it's not that bad."
Robert yelled, "goddamnit Edwin, stop thinking with your dick."
Edwin yelled back, "I'm not thinking with my dick!"
"No take backs," Aryana leaped back from the sofa in a proud stance, "since this is a democracy, and its 3 to 1-"
"Not a democracy," Robert retorted, "we're villains, I'm leader, and I say no."
Edwin fell quiet again. He wasn't going to argue with his best friend.
Aryana noticed that Vivan's mouth was contorted, like talking more with these people disgusted him. That was a problem. Sure, Aryana could convince Vivan to join them anyway, without the conditions mentioned, but she wasn't going to force Vivan to join a villain team he hated without a silver lining.
Aryana pointed to Edwin, "Edwin, you know how you said Toy Box kicked you out? Let's make a deal. If I can get Leet back into Toy Box, you guys have to do these stakeouts with us."
Edwin and Robert turned to stare at each other. Robert said, "you know Toy Box hates him, right?"
She answered, "I'm aware of that. Me and Vivan will do the stakeouts on our own in the meantime. If I can get Edwin back in, will you both agree to make up for that GTA bullcrap you did?"
Robert chuckled. From what he saw from her, he guessed she had her head in the clouds, believing things were easier than they actually were. "Alright fine. But if you don't manage to do it, not only do you both drop this stakeout thing." Robert took his hand out for a shake. "But you also have to agree to cosplay whichever way I want."
Aryana grinned. "In that case, if I win, you ALSO have to wear whatever I say. Kapeesh?"
"Kapeesh."
They both shook hands.
XXX
Aryana headed towards Robert and Edwin's apartment. Yellow PIkman filled the hallways as she walked forward. She put no effort to miss stepping on them, and managed to squish dozens underneath her boots as she walked forward.
The apartment complex was infested with them. Having the drug supplies as living nintendo creatures was a spontaneous idea, but it made collecting and categorizing ingredients as easy as picking up colored tomatoes that walked towards you.
Phase one of Arayana's plan was complete, steal enough money to create self-supplying organic drugs. Accord taught her that self-reliance was key. To have things weaved together so tightly that no single chess piece on the board was vital. Now, they could all make high-quality drugs without fear of losing supply. And since it was made with tinker mutated ingredients, no one else could compete with them in terms of quality.
We have become a useful asset, Aryana thought to herself, we're not nobodies anymore. People will want what we can offer.
Aryana was also lucky Edwin had confidence issues. He'd listen to anything she'd say, as long as the possibility of her loving him back was always there. Edwin never risked making edible Tinker drugs until she pushed him into taking risks.
Was it manipulation? Sure. Was it worth it? Yup.
Aryana entered Robert and Edwin's apartment room. Their apartment building had dozens of multiple colored Pikman. Purple, blue, yellow, albino. He had them all separated in the corners of the living room to prevent them from mixing.
Aryana stepped in and walked to the kitchen table Robert was eating. She proceeded to scrape off the yellow Pikman that was smeared underneath her foot. She went out of her way to scrape it across the chair next to him, to let him see her remove the once alive Pikman from her boot.
"Why do you like killing my childhood?" Robert asked casually.
"Because some people love to watch the world burn."
Aryana fell back on the carpet, and began rolling all over the yellow Pikman. "Pikman genocide!" She yelled. "Mwahaha, ethnic cleansing! Am I not villain enough for you!?"
Robert commented, "Christ you're fucked up."
Edwin rubbed his forehead, he couldn't help but chuckle at what was happening. "Just be careful where you roll. Things go really bad when the colors mix."
Aryana stopped rolling and laughed, "haha, that's so racist."
Edwin's face quickly turned red, "you know what I mean!"
Aryana grinned, "anyway, that's why I'm here. Vivan wanted to feel more American today, so he covered himself in red, white, and blue Pikman, and began rolling on them while screaming team America. He passed out and hasn't woke up since."
Edwin's face paled, "fuck, I gotta go!" He ran out the room.
XXX
Another thing Accord taught Aryana; people will work together as long it serves a certain self interest. The moment that purpose is served, be prepared to break ties.
Gangs typically fall into four motives; Money, Ideology, Coercion, and Ego. Merchants? Definitely money. Their reputation was pathetic, and had nothing to lose working for them. So when Rush, Leet, and Uber walked forward to them, handed them a sample of their newest product, they had no reason to turn it down.
Mush was so high it looked like he wasn't coming back. He was responsive enough to let Skidmark know that the product was worth a price. "Aight," Skidmark said, "you give us a weight of your blues, and we'll spread it around like wildfire."
Light was looking to the side of the warehouse. His eyes were locked at two teenagers on a worn down sofa, both wore catholic school uniforms, and were so dazed it was obvious they were strung up on heroine. Light whispered into Rush's ear, "can you make them stop recruiting kids?"
Rush snapped her head back at him. She whispered, "you cereal?"
Light nodded.
Rush moaned. She'd noticed the teenage heroine addicts when they arrived, but it was easy for her to ignore. Nothing new, in the world of villainy.
Rush said to Skidmark, "tell you what, Skidmark. Since we're new to the game, we'll cut you some slack. We'll sell this stuff exclusively to you, and no one else in the city, as long as you agree to stop selling and recruiting to kids."
The four Merchant members laughed at the girl, "and why the fuck we oughta do that? Dem high schoolers are the ones who work best."
Rush chuckled, "Three reasons. One, kids are shitty gang members. Once you start getting money from our meth, you won't have to rely on kids in training bras to sell your product. Better muscle will be come in soon, so you might as well cut off the weak fat now before they become a liability. Two, we'll let you have a bigger cut of the share. Think of it as a condition for you selling our product. An ethics fee, if you will."
Rush tapped on Leet's shoulder, "and three, if you do this, Leet will lend you the super genius drug the rest of us are on."
"What?" the Merchant members asked together.
Leet stared at Rush, "wat?"
"That's right," Rush tapped her noggin. "Every one of us are on super pills right now. You know how the mind can only access 10% of its capability? Our pills let us access all of it. We can process information faster than the human mind. Great when you have to improvise in combat, it might as well make us Thinkers. We'll share that with all of you for free, if you stop recruiting high schoolers."
Skidmark squinted, "alright, but I want a sample of this shit first. And I'm a give it to a member to see if it works."
Rush smiled, "fine by us."
They left the warehouse, and Light was the only one smiling underneath the mask. Uber was frowning, pissed that they'd just lost a big cut and delayed the lab project by a month.
Leet said, "Aryana, what the fuck?"
"Can you?"
"I don't fucking know," Edwin said, "that's not how the mind works. Where'd you come up with that brain bullshit?"
"Can you at least fake it?"
"I don't…Know..."
"Just make it convincing Leet, I need you for this."
XXXX
Vivan wore a Darth Vader suit looking at the video camera, "alright, here's the thing. I'm an ecosystem tinker as you can see." Pikman were standing all around behind him. They were shrouded in darkness, and looked more like tiny demons with their glowing bright eyes that made them look intimidating.
"I need a large place to hold my creatures. So I'd like to make a deal. I heard Dodge could create dimensions, I want to not only buy a dimension from him, but customize one. Give me some time to work together with him, and I'm willing to help make biosphere dimensions for all the tinkers of Toy box."
"Like rental property…" Cranium said, intrigued by the idea.
"That's right, me and Dodge can split rent income fifty fifty."
Cranium added, "after the thirty three percent cut from Toy Box, I presume."
"Of course," Vivan said.
Cranium nodded her head. "Alright, I'll tell Dodge to visit you guys. You also said you work with the Merchants?"
"I'm new in town," Vivan answered.
"Don't offer him any drugs, or I'll personally reign hell down on you."
Vivan lifted a thumbs up, "I'd never dream of it."
XXX
"Alright Dodge," Cranium said, "you'll just work with this Tinker for a few days, and then get commission when you finish."
Dodge gulped, "but… what if they kill me?"
"It's alright Dodge, the guy works for the Merchants. Beyond drugs, they don't do stupid things like murder."
"But…"
"Listen, Dodge," Cranium put a hand on his shoulder, "you'll be fine. The guy is offering something Toy Box could use, something that could help us grew fast. I never even thought of providing labs for tinkers, but if this works, more tinkers will come to us and join us for supplies in exchange for commission. This is exactly what Toy Box always needed, I never knew it until the chance came up."
Dodge fell quiet. Cranium added, "but if you really feel too afraid to work with others, I'll understand. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to."
Dodge swallowed, Cranium gave him so much, he wasn't going to let her down. "O-okay, I'll do it."
XXX
Dodge entered their apartment complex, visibly nervous. He was slouched, pulling his finger nails to quench his anxiety. A heavy breathing echoed from the hallway. The lights were dim, so what appeared next seemingly came from the darkness itself.
It was a large black cloak. A mask covered his face, and breathing became more intimidating as he slowly walked forward.
Dodge eeped at the sight of him. He fell back panting, thinking this dark cloaked man would somehow cut him down.
When he finally reached in front of Dodge, Leet took of his mask. "Relax kid, you seriously telling me you never watched Star Wars?"
Dodge's eyes beamed up, "you.. like Star Wars?"
"You have no idea."
Leet took Dodge by the hand and they walked to the basement floor of the building. He had a lab full of supplies ready for the both of them. In a few days, a network of pocket dimensions and various biospheres would be ready.
They passed by Uber and Rush as they walked towards the basement. Uber said, "I...can't believe this is working"
Rush smiled, "so, how do you feel about Sailor Moon's outfit?"
XXX
One month later
Cranium gritted her teeth, "fucking Leet?"
They stared at the living room tv screen that was hooked up to a communication line with Cranium. Dodge, Light, and Leet were all sitting on the sofa enjoying pizza. While Dodge was shocked to learn that Cranium hated Leet so much, Uber and Rush were standing to do the rest of the talking.
Uber said, "The contract states, both Dodge and Darth Vader have full ownership over the dimension ecosystem real estate. They share ownership equally. Seeing as we alternate aliases regularly, the contract stands as is since Leet was Darth Vader at the time.
Dodge can also nullify the contract anytime, but that would mean the ecosystem tinkering returns to us, turning most of his dimensions useless."
Cranium's eye twitched. Uber grinned at her face, reeling in Cranium's anger. Even though Uber never admitted it, he hated that she'd insulted Leet too. It was his chance to make her feel weak.
"To be honest," Uber said twisting the knife, "at this point I don't care if you cancel it anyway. It's good to know you'd lose a shit ton of money just because of your pride."
Cranium smashed her fist against her keyboard, but didn't say anything. Cranium could've ordered Dodge to stop working with him, but there was too much profit potential from this. "Fine, he can work with our other tinkers, but only as a non-member. He'll have to negotiate with them individually."
Uber grinned as Rush's jaw dropped. He pointed at Rush, "hah! He's not a member, I win the bet."
Cranium cocked her head back, "bet?"
"Fuck," Rush yelled. She turned to Leet, "give up your ownership to be a member!"
Leet blinked, "that's a terrible idea, I wouldn't get rent money!"
Uber said, "get ready to start wearing cargo pants!"
Rush yelled back, "fuck you, just make me wear cat ears like normal people!"
"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Cranium yelled, "you went through all of that for a fucking bet?"
Dodge was laughing in the background.
Uber laughed at her, "say goodbye to all your shitty fantasies."
Rush whaled out a pathetic cry.
Crainum was finally laughing, "wait, that was the bet?"
Light answered, "the bet was, Uber would have to start crossdressing as a villain, if Leet could rejoin Toy Box."
Rush mouthed the words, 'help me,' to Cranium.
Cranium finally dropped her head back in laughter. "So basically, if I let Leet in, Uber has to be her dress up doll?"
"Just do it!" Aryana yelled.
Uber covered her mouth, "it's too late, she already decided."
Cranium grinned, "well, who am I to stop a man from crossdressing?"
The rest of them froze, and everyone except Uber smiled. Cranium said, "Leet, welcome back to Toy Box."
Rush, Leet, Light, and Dodge all threw their hands up in a cheer. Uber froze with his face as pale as snow. "No…"
Rush patted his back, "I hope you like tight clothes, because from now on, you're a size small."
XXX
Present
Light and the Mousketeers were waiting on an apartment rooftop, scouting for an ABB truck to arrive and take prostitutes to other trafficking rings along the east coast. They stared down with their binoculars, and waited for the smugglers to arrive.
Light had on a ninja suit. Mouse Protector and Browbeat were standing since they were the ones that would go in and fight directly. Golem and Light were both laying on their stomachs at Buzzkill's side.
Buzzkill said, "hey Light, I got an idea for a villain heist you could do."
Mouse Protector turned her head back to squint at Taylor, but didn't interrupt her.
Light didn't stop staring down at the warehouse. "It's about time you embrace the villain side."
"Alright," Buzzkill said with a nod, "this is a bit complicated, but it involves a bank."
"Oh my," Light said, "it's so cliche it's classic,."
"You have to scout it, kind of like… how you're in a ninja costume right now."
"I also like ninjas, this sounds good."
"Step one is to get job position there. It doesn't matter which, it can be any. But the point is, go in there, and learn the ins and outs of the bank facility."
"This sounds so clever, that only a villain could think of it."
"You go on there everyday, do what they tell you, and most importantly, gain their trust."
"So conniving, such a masterful plot."
"Work there every day, and then, thirty, forty years later, you'll have a 401k plan that'll last you a lifetime."
"... wait, what?"
"The money will go in your bank account every week, they won't even realize they're being robbed."
"Taylor… did you just tell me to get a job?"
Golem bursted out laughing. Light couldn't even read her expression under her mask. She was totally smiling. "Taylor, what the fuck?"
"All bureaucrats are evil," Buzzkill said, "you'll still be a villain!"
"Goddamnit Taylor."
"They're here," Mouse Protector announced at the sound of a truck rolling by. She looked back at Light, "remember, you're only tagging along as backup. No jumping in like you do with the Losers. No one should even know you're here. Me and Browbeat will go in and do direct fighting, Buzzkill and Golem do distant fighting. And you're only here to defend them if anyone gets too close. Kapeesh?"
"Kapeesh," Light said with a thumbs up.
Mouse Protector and Browbeat went down the fire escape towards the thugs. Buzzkill said, "thanks for the help."
Light nodded, "thanks for inviting me."
Light watched with pleasure as Buzzkill and Golem summoned their minions in the distance.
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