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I know the society is different and all, but this bit struck me as a bit http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Anvilicious: the bad guys aren't just power-hungry, bigoted, craven, and occasionally sadistic and genocidal, they're sexist too. IMO, it would have worked better to create an onerous, pseudo-Victorian etiquette that was actually gender-neutral.Hermione had read the textbook already. It wasn't written terribly well, but it was easy to read - even though the examples used every other page seemed to have come straight from the pages of some of those robe rippers Mrs Weasley claimed she did not read but Ginny said she did.
Why is it always "abandoned classroom"? It's never "unused classroom" or "free classroom", or anything else that doesn't make it sound like half the classrooms in Hogwarts are structurally unsound and have to be abandoned.The ongoing persecution of muggleborns had one advantage, Hermione thought, watching the students file into the abandoned classroom she had prepared.
Is this supposed to be read as "Apparition training [by the official instructors] was going well", or is it supposed to be read as Allan teaching them Apparition? If so, where? (Unless, Apparition is allowed on Hogwarts grounds in this AU.)Apparition training was going well, for the older students at least. Allan was not the best teacher, but he understood the matter perfectly, and he could deal with any accidents.
A bit inconsistent with canon, but an understandable deviation. (It makes it a bit too easy for the good guys, IMO, but then, Hermione in particular turns 17 in September 1996, so the point is moot.)
I'd think Allan (if it's him, which seems to be what you're hinting) would cast that nonverbally.
She was levitated, no, her robe was, pulling her up, and she was floating towards her quarters, behind her office. Someone had covered the floor with a weird transparent material, she saw, before she was dropped on it, and not too gently.
Made me think of Dexter. Then, it occurred to me that a wizard might just be able to conjure plastic to cover all surfaces of the room, rather than just a floor, then Scourgify before vanishing. What do you think?
I'm curious, are you going with a non-Caucasian Hermione in this one, or is it just lighting?
Well. I wasn't expecting to leap right into assassination, but it- and the discussion of truckbombs and Mao- has certainly set the tone for this story. Looking forward to more!
Glad to see this story getting started as Patron winds down. It looks like you already posted this on FF.net, but a few comments/suggestions anyway:
I know the society is different and all, but this bit struck me as a bit http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Anvilicious: the bad guys aren't just power-hungry, bigoted, craven, and occasionally sadistic and genocidal, they're sexist too. IMO, it would have worked better to create an onerous, pseudo-Victorian etiquette that was actually gender-neutral.
Why is it always "abandoned classroom"? It's never "unused classroom" or "free classroom", or anything else that doesn't make it sound like half the classrooms in Hogwarts are structurally unsound and have to be abandoned.
My headcanon: yes, they are, in fact, structurally unsound. As a safety measure, Hogwarts's walls are charmed to attract and absorb miscast spells, because the alternative is them hitting students. (It doesn't always work, but when a miscast spell hits a wall, it's not exactly an event Harry would note.) Over time, the walls accumulate spell damage, and a classroom is abandoned for a few years so that it could heal.
Is this supposed to be read as "Apparition training [by the official instructors] was going well", or is it supposed to be read as Allan teaching them Apparition? If so, where? (Unless, Apparition is allowed on Hogwarts grounds in this AU.)
A bit inconsistent with canon, but an understandable deviation. (It makes it a bit too easy for the good guys, IMO, but then, Hermione in particular turns 17 in September 1996, so the point is moot.)
I wonder if it might be a good idea to have A/N at the end that lists deliberate deviations from canon. (E.g., preempt the "Why didn't they use an Unbreakable Vow?" by actually writing that those don't exist in this AU.)
I'd think Allan (if it's him, which seems to be what you're hinting) would cast that nonverbally.
Made me think of Dexter. Then, it occurred to me that a wizard might just be able to conjure plastic to cover all surfaces of the room, rather than just a floor, then Scourgify before vanishing. What do you think?
I'm curious, are you going with a non-Caucasian Hermione in this one, or is it just lighting?
OK, that makes sense. One thing that occurred to me is that wizards might have one etiquette textbook for wizards and witches, whose contents change based on who is reading them.Robe Rippers I used as a stand-in for "books witches like to read full of steamy romance and borderline porn". Hermione thinks the examples used in the book sound as if taken from those books, meaning, they are formulaic, and sound familiar - sexism doesn't come into it at all; witches certainly don't read muggle romances where weak women need strong men to protect them. I just wanted a hint at the book's co-author's usual work.
Fair enough. I still like my headcanon better."Abandoned" evokes the feeling that things were different, better in the past. After Grindelwald's War and the first Blood War, I assume populations took a bit of a nose dive. I don't think it has anything to with structural soundness - just with the need or lack of need for classrooms. A building as old as Hogwarts feels better with entire parts "abandoned", left to explore and discover secrets within, rather than put on "unused" and cleaned twice a week.
Ah. Hogsmeade weekends?Allan is teaching them apparition, and outside Hogwarts (in small groups). I didn't consider the location that important.
Ah, so in this AU, they can track non-underage magic as well, by the wands?I've already got a story running where the magic detection grid is used and underground fighters have to deal with it; I don't want to repeat myself. The trace explains how the Ministry kept track of underage magic in this story.
Sure, but he's just trying to lift about 70 kilograms here. I'd also think that doing magic nonverbally is showing off.Spells cast verbally are more powerful in this story. And Allan likes showing off.
If Allan turned her over while putting her down, she could have gotten a view of the floor and the ceiling. Could be (even more) evocative.That's how I imagined it. Dolores' POV was a bit limited. I never saw Dexter though.
OK, that makes sense. One thing that occurred to me is that wizards might have one etiquette textbook for wizards and witches, whose contents change based on who is reading them.
Ah, so in this AU, they can track non-underage magic as well, by the wands?
Sure, but he's just trying to lift about 70 kilograms here. I'd also think that doing magic nonverbally is showing off.
If Allan turned her over while putting her down, she could have gotten a view of the floor and the ceiling. Could be (even more) evocative.
I think this is the scene that most viscerally brings home how angry Hermione is, nice job.The foul little cretin smashed into the wall hiding the portrait of Sirius's mother, with permanent Silencing Spells on every brick around her. Hermione lowered her wand and stepped closer, crouching down next to the stunned elf.
"Call me 'mudblood' once again, and I'll petrify you, and then donate you to a muggle garden, do you understand?" she snarled at him. When he didn't answer at once, she dug her wand into his throat. "Do you understand?"
And Hermione explained about the Muggleborn Resistance. Not everything, of course. But enough so he'd know what the gold would be used for. Buying wands on the black market. Securing safe houses. Acquiring supplies, for potions and other things. Relocating families.
Sirius helping Hermione was interesting, and in the future he might be her only way of contacting Harry and Ron, as they could both be watched, Ron doesn't know occlumency , and Harry's is imperfect.He was also smarter than he liked to appear, she reminded herself. She nodded. "Yes. I'm also planning to strike at the enemy."
Allan feels like he is going to be one of the fighters who go to far in the war to come. It will be interesting to see Hermione balance atrocities against each other. I wonder who the other leaders of the mudblood resistance will be, I feel like most of them should be adults.She looked at the staff table. Umbridge was not present, she noted. That was unusual; she would have expected the toad to be there to gloat. At least her last meal at Hogwarts wouldn't be spoiled further by that sadist bigot's presence. It was just a small consolation though. The witch glanced at the Ravenclaw table. Allan was sitting there.
Wow this story is looking like its going to be good, I loved Patron, and now I'm going to go and read your older stories as well. You hint at both possible Hermione/Ron and Hermione/Harry relations, I am interested if either of hose will come about.
I think this is the scene that most viscerally brings home how angry Hermione is, nice job.
Sirius helping Hermione was interesting, and in the future he might be her only way of contacting Harry and Ron, as they could both be watched, Ron doesn't know occlumency , and Harry's is imperfect.
Allan feels like he is going to be one of the fighters who go to far in the war to come. It will be interesting to see Hermione balance atrocities against each other. I wonder who the other leaders of the mudblood resistance will be, I feel like most of them should be adults.
What lines did the Red Army cross that Western Allies didn't?Well spotted with regards to Allan. Hermione's ruthless, but also very idealistic. She'll be like the Western Allies in WW2, as far as the line she won't cross is concerned. Others will be more like the Red Army in WW2. Or worse.
In context, I thought you were talking about the lines they would or wouldn't cross in pursuit of military goals, whereas most of Soviet atrocities that I know of were either orthogonal to that (looting, rape) or motivated by ideology and Soviet-style social engineering (Katyn).Soviet War Crimes. The Katyn massacre is one of the most famous atrocities.
In context, I thought you were talking about the lines they would or wouldn't cross in pursuit of military goals, whereas most of Soviet atrocities that I know of were either orthogonal to that (looting, rape) or motivated by ideology and Soviet-style social engineering (Katyn).
Mind you, I am sure that if the Soviets had the quantities of heavy bombers that the British and the Americans had --- and, for that matter, atomic bombs --- they would have used them no differently. (And, for the record, I am not saying that those were war crimes, but they were "lines crossed".)
I am not sure what the crux of the difference is, then... Would the more "Red Army" members of MR abuse prisoners for fun, while the more "Western Allies" ones wouldn't?Oh, yes. But how differently the Western Allies and the Soviets treated civilians and POWs illustrates the line Hermione will likely not cross nicely. She won't balk at "acceptable collateral damage", but she'll not condone rape or abuse of prisoners, for example.
One of the differences, yes.I am not sure what the crux of the difference is, then... Would the more "Red Army" members of MR abuse prisoners for fun, while the more "Western Allies" ones wouldn't?
I am, as you well know, a fan of BAMF!Hermione, but her outfighting two aurors seems a bit too much of a good thing. She didn't even cast the Stunning Spell nonverbally and still surprised Bowtruckle, and Macmillian never even bothered to shield, even once the fight began in earnest.
o/` I killed the auror - the auror"I can't. They know we're best friends, so they'll expect that. They might even search the house. I killed an Auror, Harry."
I am, as you well know, a fan of BAMF!Hermione, but her outfighting two aurors seems a bit too much of a good thing. She didn't even cast the Stunning Spell nonverbally and still surprised Bowtruckle, and Macmillian never even bothered to shield, even once the fight began in earnest.
This is a interesting statement, I like how little events like Umbridge being as horrible as she was and one of the muggleborn being vicious enough to consider murdering her end up having such large consequences. I like when the course of history is the conclusion of lots of little events like that.If not for the controversy about the disappearance of Dolores Umbridge from Hogwarts a few weeks later, the appeasement policy as well as the muggleborn laws might have been repealed completely.
Fair point, but cops would be hitwizards. Aurors have a bit higher standards, no? Macmillian, in particular, had at least a few seconds to cast a Shield Charm, which seems to me to be the first thing he'd do after Hermione Stunned his partner. He wasn't surprised, he just lost a fairly pitched duel.It's something like a pair of cops approaching a Person of Interest- and a sixteen-year-old girl at that. They're doing what cops do- they assume they've got every right to be there, and are used to dealing with subjects that are perhaps not cooperative, but at least acknowledge the ministry's authority. They're not expecting that their target already views the government they represent as an implacable enemy, has been prepping for guerilla war for a six months, and believes she's as good as dead or worse if arrested by the likes of Macmillan. They're especially not expecting their Person of Interest to go straight into combat mode, pepper spray one cop, and shoot the other dead.
And so it begins...
I am, as you well know, a fan of BAMF!Hermione, but her outfighting two aurors seems a bit too much of a good thing. She didn't even cast the Stunning Spell nonverbally and still surprised Bowtruckle, and Macmillian never even bothered to shield, even once the fight began in earnest.
o/` I killed the auror - the auror
But I swear it was in self-defense. '\o
It's something like a pair of cops approaching a Person of Interest- and a sixteen-year-old girl at that. They're doing what cops do- they assume they've got every right to be there, and are used to dealing with subjects that are perhaps not cooperative, but at least acknowledge the ministry's authority. They're not expecting that their target already views the government they represent as an implacable enemy, has been prepping for guerilla war for a six months, and believes she's as good as dead or worse if arrested by the likes of Macmillan. They're especially not expecting their Person of Interest to go straight into combat mode, pepper spray one cop, and shoot the other dead.
They're acting like police keeping the peace. Hermione was already fighting a war.
It'll be interesting to see where the Hermione/Allen dynamic goes- the two sides of the revolutionary coin, so to speak. Looking forward to more.
This is a interesting statement, I like how little events like Umbridge being as horrible as she was and one of the muggleborn being vicious enough to consider murdering her end up having such large consequences. I like when the course of history is the conclusion of lots of little events like that.
Otherwise we have the start of the muggleborn resistance in truth with the Aurors being convinced to go after all of the muggleborn's at Hogwarts.
I'm not sure what is going to happen with Fred and George, but something is probably going to go wrong.
Fair point, but cops would be hitwizards. Aurors have a bit higher standards, no? Macmillian, in particular, had at least a few seconds to cast a Shield Charm, which seems to me to be the first thing he'd do after Hermione Stunned his partner. He wasn't surprised, he just lost a fairly pitched duel.
Ultimately, I think that this scene might have worked better if Hermione won by activating some trap that she had prepared in case of a Death Eater attack.
This is really good. I'm curious to see how it develops. There's a difficult balance the muggleborns are going to have to strike between scaring the purebloods out of oppressing them, versus alienating their current supporters. I'm not sure I see umbridge disappearing being important enough to be the cause of the war -- unless the history text was just hypothesizing that Aurors wouldn't have come after muggleborns (and triggered the mass exodus) anyway, something I think I share Allen's opinion on.
"I mean, if it was 'cause he, like, grabbed my butt, or something, but over the Um-bitch who wasn't even there? Like, ugh! Totally ugh!"
You should've seen the first draft. That one had horns.they had chosen to draw her as unfavorably as possible - her hair filled the picture and she was sneering more than Malfoy at his worst. The Ministry was really going all out in their manhunt.
"Wow! Amazing fireworks!" Astoria stared.Behind her, night turned to day when the manor exploded in a giant fireball.
Welcome to the wonderful world of group polarization.Well shit. Hermione really should have tried to make it a mixed group, keeping it only muggleborn attitudes are just going to keep getting worse. Eventually there'll just be two groups of bigots fighting each other.
and that's like saying that all germans are evil, it would be best if she had a way to force them to acknowledge that "those pure-bloods, they're alright, those other pure-bloods, they're assholes".Welcome to war you mean, especially civil war. Still, at this point, the "innocent victims" basically were people who didn't think there was anything wrong with attending a party thrown by the right hand of a genocidal Dark Lord.
Things will get worse, of course, but trying to equalise the Resistance and the Death Eaters is like saying "the Western Allies were as bad as the Nazis, both killed a lot of innocent people".