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Description: Doing Zelretch's dirty work by traveling across the Omniverse with best Stick, Dog...
Chapter 1 - I need A Hero

StreamingViking

Man from the Nordic
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Jul 5, 2016
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Description: Doing Zelretch's dirty work by traveling across the Omniverse with best Stick, Dog, and EX-Luck.

xxx

When people go to sleep in their bed. They usually wake up in them too but, apparently not me. For I did not wake up laying down in my comfy ass bed but, instead I woke up sitting. On a bench.

"Where the hell," And I immediately stopped talking. For the voice that came out of my mouth wasn't the one I was used to hearing. It wasn't a male one but, a female one.

My sleep heavy eyes widened fully and as I didn't want to, I looked down and saw two bumps constrained in white clothing. And for extra measure, I put a hand down between to confirm, that yes. There was a hole now, where a certain protrusion had been.

I removed my from my crotch and slumped against the bench. For I couldn't even muster any anger over my situation. For this was on my very long list of fantasies, so I felt nothing but, frustration and annoyance over getting rule sixty-three'd. But, I did promise to kick the dick who did this to me in the dick.

For it was very obvious, what had happened to me. I had obviously been ROB'ed and placed into some fictional setting, along with a new female body. That wasn't just a gender bend version of my old one. Since this one, I just noticed had orange hair. When mine had black hair. And not mention the clothes I was wearing looked familiar.

I just sighed and put it away for later to think about, for I needed to find out which setting I was in, see if I gained the powers of the setting or other powers and mucking my way to victory as was the SB/SV way.

I was about to stand up but, before my ass was even a centimeter of the bench. I heard a loud "FOU!" to my left.

I turned around and saw a little white creature, that had what looked like a letter in front of its paws. A little smile found a place on my face as I now knew I had to kick in the dick and now I also recognized my clothes, for I was apparently in the body of Gudako.

"Fou." Said the greatest murderer of humanity once again and pushed the letter towards me.

"I'm guessing that's for me?"

"Fou." Said the Beats more sternly or at least that what it sounded like to me.

"Fine, fine I read it at once, Jesus," I muttered.

I took the envelope in my hands, opened it and pulled out the letter inside of it. Which was addressed to me? It didn't have my name on it but, Dear Research Subject was written in the beginning which I guessed was me. I made a mental note kick him extra hard in the dick.

I began to read the letter.

Dear Research Subject

As you've might have guessed I am Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg. Master of The Second True Magic, Wizard Marshall of The Clock Tower, Kicker of Crimson Moon's ass and part time troll alongside Merlin. And I welcome you to one of my grandest experiments. You might be wondering what that experiment is right?


I certainly did.

If your thoughts were 'I certainly did.' Wait just a moment for I need to explain some things first.

FUCING TEASE!!! I continued reading.

As you might have noticed you have been given a new body for this experiment. For we can both agree that your old one wasn't in tip-top shape. So transferred your Soul to a new one, with help of one of my colleges. As to why it's female? Well, I had the choice between a male and a female. And I didn't know which to choose so I flipped a coin and I got heads so female it was.

My grip on the letter tightened slightly.

But, I'm not a total asshole so I've disabled some reproductive functions so you won't have that pesky period thing.

I reluctantly thanked him for that.

Now, for the experiment. It is divided into two parts. The first part is a new invention I made and I need you to test it out. It's in your left jacket pocket.

I checked my pocket and found, what kinda looked like a more advanced version of the Digivice from Data Squad. It was a pearly white color, its design was smooth and sleek, with a blue sphere on the surface, surrounded by a gold ring. There was also no obvious start button.

What you're seeing is the new and improved Kaleidostick. It will be your friend and companion on your journey and help you with the experiment. I created this one after the event you know as Grand Order happened and don't worry she won't turn you into a Magical Girl like her sisters would she functions very differently from them. She is voice controlled and to wake her up, you just have to say activate.

Wait what about Fou? Was my question I hoped he addressed it later. I gave the dog a quick look and saw that he was snuggled up to my side and seemingly was reading letter too. I couldn't help smile, for so far the situation wasn't too bad. I continued reading

The second part is that anomalies have begun appearing throughout the universes of the omniverse and I need you to fix them by using your new Kaleidostick and also get me a few items from the universes for me to study.

Yours truly Zelretch.

P.S: I almost forgot this. If you're wondering why Fou is with you, it's because he is now your familiar. As to why it's so that he can get back his former power after resurrecting that marshmallow girl. And your Origin allows you to do that easily. Plus now you have the best pet ever.


I could only groan at the man's so-called humor. I packed away the letter and pulled out my device. I looked down at Fou and gave him a smile. "Well let's do this."

I only got a "Fou." In return.

I held the device in front of me and said. "Activate." The Sphere began to glow and a holographic screen appeared, floating over it and a voice came from the device.

"Voice recognized. Systems activating. Connecting to the primary user," I exhaled as I felt if something, had just punched me in the stomach. "Connected to the primary user. All Kaleidostick systems are online. God day Mistress how may I help you?" Came the synthetic female voice of the Kalaidotick which sounded awfully familiar.

I looked at the holographic screen which now seemed to be showing a menu. That had various tabs on it which probably led to different functions. "Hm? God day to you too eh, what's your name?" I asked the Stick, for she hadn't given me one.

"Sorry, Mistress but, these unit has not been given a designation by Creator. Would Mistress like to give this unit a designation?" The voice almost sounded pleading, that she wanted me to give her a name.

"Okay, Your name is," I thought for a few seconds as to what to actually call her. I decided to go with her sisters naming scheme. "Emerald," I said. "Your name is Emerald."

"This unit has excepted the designation Emerald. Thank you, Mistress." Emerald answered back.

"You to Emerald. So Emerald what can you actually do? Zelretch said that you could help me."

"Well, Mistress I have a great many functions one of my greatest is the Shop function. So Mistress press the Shop tab on the screen." I followed her instructions and pressed the tab. It lit and the other tabs disappeared and two new ones showed up. "As you can see there are now two new tabs. As you can read the first is the Servant Shop and the second is the Item Shop. The functions of the Servant Shop allows you to buy Class Cards." I couldn't help but, smile at that. "Class Cards allow you to use the Powers of Heroic Spirits by either Installing or Including the Card and later on the summon them to fight alongside you in battle. Now Mistress press the Servant Shop tab and let us buy a Class Card."

I pressed the tab, it disappeared and made way to a screen that I was very familiar with. OH GOD NO.

"Here Mistress you can buy Class Cards that contain the power of a single Heroic Spirit. You can buy them using a unique currency called Saint Quartz. A Card costs three Quartz. Mistress, you currently have three Quartz so, let's buy a Card. But, Mistress please bear in mind that the Card you get is completely random and I have no control over what you get."

"Thanks for the info Emerald. Now let's do this." I said as I looked at the screen and was once again faced with the Gacha. Let's if my Luck held up, I pressed the Buy tab and saw my Quartz disappear. And like in the game a circle appeared and over it, a card spun around for a few seconds and stopped, showing the image of the Saber Class before giving away to the image Nero. I couldn't help but smile as it seemed that I was indeed lucky.

"Sending Card to storage." Came Emeralds voice and the screen returned to normal.

"Storage?" I asked Emerald.

"Yes, Mistress I can store away Class Cards when they are not in use and Materialize them from there when you need them. Though at the moment I can only store three Cards but, you can increase that amount by buying upgrades from the Item Store to increase the size of the Card Storage. Up to ten Cards can you have at maximum Mistress."

"Oh okay but, Emerald could you explain how I get more Saint Quartz and the Item store for me," I asked her.

"Of course Mistress I exist to service you. Now, Mistress, you can get more Quartz by doing things in the Worlds your being sent to like defeating certain enemies and doing Quests you can also get Quartz by selling your Servants and you can buy them in the Item Shop but they are very expensive. Now, for Item Shop is there you can buy various things like. Items for Casters, upgrades for me and various other things. Items in the in the Item Shop are bought using Saint Shards which you get the same you do Quartz. Though we won't check the shop now since you don't have any Saint Shards." Emerald finished explaining.

"Thanks for telling me that. So, do you know which World we are in and where the anomalies are?" I asked her.

"Sorry Mistress I do not know which World this is and I have checked, there are no anomalies inside my search radius."

I just sighed. "So, I guess we just have to go out and find them?"

"It seems so Mistress."

"Well, get going I guess we don't have all day." I was about to stand up but, another question entered my mind. "Hey Emerald why aren't people looking at us. Since we are talking to each other." For there had been people walking by while I had talked with Emerald, so it was a good question.

"I put an SEP-Field around it's one of the few spells I have at the moment. I'm sorry Mistress I shouldn't have done that without your permission, I just thought."

"Nonono Emerald it's fine, it was a good Idea you did that," I assured the AI as not to cause her more grief over the situation. "Just remember to say it next time."

"Okay Mistress I do that and I remove the field the moment we get moving. And is there anything else you to ask me, Mistress."

"Yeah, can you talk to me telepathically, So I don't have talk out loud everytime have to ask you something." There were a few moments of silence Emerald spoke again, this time it wasn't out loud.

Something like this Mistress? She said inside my head.

Yeah just like that talk to you later Emerald.

I stood up from the bench and stretched and cracked my limbs. I turned and looked down at Fou who was looking up at me. I held out a hand to him and said. "You coming with?"

I was pretty sure he nodded before running up my arm and situating himself in my hair with surprising ease in a way that wasn't annoying ass fuck so I let him stay.

So now I needed to find where I was. Good thing was that I already had a base. I was in a park and people all looked Asian so, limited it down to all most every single Anime.

Progress.

I began walking away from my bench following the park road. I walked past a few families on my way and got a few looks from them. Though mostly from the children and I thought that was because of Fou riding on my head.

I walked for a bit longer until I came upon a playground that had lots of families surrounding most of them were having a picnic and children were running on the playset and others were in the sand.

I couldn't help but, smile as I saw the kids running being all cute and adorable. I giggled as I two boys run into each other and landed on their buts before laughing at each other.

I was about to continue on, I managed only to take a single step before I heard an earth-shattering boom. It was like a bomb had gone off. I turned around towards there the sound of the explosion had come from. And so had everybody and they no looking in the same direction I was. I could hear people talk to each other over what made that boom. But, I stopped hearing them as I felt it.

A weight.

A weight like I had never felt before.

It was as an ocean was trying to crush my soul out of existence.

I was pretty sure I blacked out there and I was also pretty sure I heard Emerald calling for me.

….

……..

…………

"Haaaaa" was the sound I made as breathed in a large amount of air like I had never breathed before in my life. There was also a lot of coughing as I tried to get my breathing under control and worst was that, my entire body was covered in cold sweat.

Emerald what happened?

Oh, Mistress, you're awake. Thank the Root, I was so worried. Something tried to suck out your soul but, I managed to stop it. But, you fell unconscious afterward.

I could hear her worry and elation which made me smile.

Hear?

My entire body stopped. For besides Emerald the world was quiet. And that was wrong, for it shouldn't be quiet. I should be hearing people walking, adults talking, children playing and babies crying. But, I didn't I only heard silence.

As realization began to set in. I turned my head around, to see something that I never wanted to see in my life.

And there I saw them. Laying on the ground, laying still, not moving, not breathing, eyes were glassy. I saw Fou over by one of the children, he was pushing the boy with his head as trying to wake him up.

I choked.

I didn't know when I was over by the kid. But, before I knew I had ripped his shirt open and my palm was his chest pumping trying to restart the heart.

1, 2, 3, 4, the numbers counted in my head.

Mistress.

I heard Emerald say but, I ignored her. 28, 29, 30, I finished and began mouth-to-mouth. I did it twice and went bag to pumping. 1, 2, 3.

Mistress, please stop.

I continued to ignore and did mouth-to-mouth again.

Mistress, stop it isn't going to help him.

"Emerald, please shut up. If you're not going to help at least call an ambulance." I went back to doing CPR.

Mistress, listen to me they are all dead. Their Souls have been sucked out. They have no neural activity. All of them are brain dead.

I ceased doing CPR on the kid. "I know that Emerald," My voice was quiet as tears began leaking down my face. "I know, I know. Have you?" I asked her.

I have called an Ambulance. I accessed their phones and used the Emergency call service.

I nodded in approval. Good move Emerald.

I began standing up my legs were shaking a little as I stood. I looked at the boy at my feet and all other dead bodies. "Don't worry I'm going to avenge you now."

For now, I knew where I was. The park, the explosion, the pressure and the soul sucking. I was in Bleach and I had just born witness to Yammy's afternoon snack.

I heard another explosion and I knew I had to be fast.

"Emerald, Card now." My voice was ice cold but, it was filled with anger.

Materialising.

The Card appeared in my hand and like I had done it a thousand times I placed it on the ground and yelled. "INSTALL!"

The Card flashed with light and I felt it.

I felt it through my body, as the Heroic Spirits existence overlaid my own, allowing me to utilize its power.

As the light show died down. I gave a single look towards the smoke tower the previous explosion had left.

And then I moved.

I moved so fast even sound couldn't catch up to me. I moved so fast in such short distance, a normal human brain wouldn't be able to process properly. But, thankfully my new body, allowed me to perceive my speed so that. I felt like I was just running really fast. I also allowed to just move in between trees of the park without hitting them.

And right after I moved, I also summoned Aestus Estus to my hands. After I had installed, knowledge had filled my head. It had let me know every skill that Nero had and how to use them.

As I ran and was about to arrive at the next clearing I focused on what was possibly Nero's most powerful Skill. Imperial Privilege was a Skill that temporarily allowed Nero to learn other Skills that should not possible for her to have. Its basic use was to copy unique Skills of other Servants and using them against them. But, Nero could learn to do things having the right mindset. Like this.

I could totally use her thing, for if a King could do it so could the Emperor, it's just putting a bit of energy into my arms and hitting harder. And Just like that, I had A-Rank Mana Burst.

Even though for me it felt like a minute had gone by, less than a second had happened in real time, for me to arrive at my destination with A-Rank Agility. I only spent a moment to take in the situation. In front of me stood Ulquiorra with his back to me. in front of him was Yammy who was standing in front of Urahara, Yoruichi, and Orihime with Ichigo of to the side.

I choose my target and attacked. In the blink of an eye, using my speed and Prana Burst. I was upon him, my blade's heated edge ready to chop off his head. Though fate seemed to not want it as Ulquiorra spun around and tried to block my attack, with his right arm as he usually did.

However, I could only smile as I saw his teal green eyes widen. As the force and speed of my hit and Aestus Estus now 2000 degree edge, sliced right through his Hierro disarming him.

He tried a counter attack with what looked like a Bala enhanced punch. But, I had already seen it coming by using Pesquisa. Which I had copied from him and all his other Skills, using Imperial Privilege. That Skill was seriously OP.

I dodged the punch and I sent him flying towards Yammy using a Prana Burst enhanced kick.

As Ulquiorra landed he quickly regained his footing and now he and everybody else was looking at me. The Shinigami were looking at me with what I guessed was shock and surprise. Though Yoruichi and Orihime were now over by Ichigo's side but, Urahara had not moved and seemed to be keen on observing me.

Yammy was looking at me with confusion as he scratched his head.

Ulquiorra though was looking at me with what I could only think was intrigue. I felt brief flair of power from him and I saw his arm regenerate. The first to speak up was Yammy.

"Hey, Ulquiorra who is that blond chick? Is she on the list too?" Asked the dumb giant.

"No, Yammy I do not know who that human is but, what I do know is that this woman is not trash." Was the answer from the nihilistic hollow.

Well, that was certainly high praise coming from him.

Ulquiorra gave a quick look at Urahara behind before he looked back at me. "We seem to have hit a predicament. We have two high Captain-Class Shinigami and an unknown who is seemingly on my level. It will be hard for us to leave."

"No," I interrupted him. "You two aren't going anywhere. For you are going to be dead soon." My voice was cold with anger.

There were few moments of silence before Yammy began laughing. "Hahaha, did you hear her Ulquiorra. She thinks that she can kill us, What a laugh and how will you do that girly."

"Like this," I stabbed Aestus Estus down into the ground and began chanting "Behold my glory… Hear the thunderous applause… Sit down and praise… My Golden Theater! Kingdom of Heaven and Hell… My Heaven, reconstructed! This is where the limelight shines!"

I saw Ulquiorra's eyes expand as if just now realizing what was happening. "Yammy we need to leave now." Was that fear I heard in your voice but, it didn't matter I had already won.

"Aestus Domus Aurea: Golden Theater of The Flamboyant!" I finished and the World became something else.

No longer were we in the park but, in what Nero believed to be her greatest creation. Nero's Noble Phantasm wasn't a Reality Marble since the theater had been built on top of the World and such was more in the line of High-Thaumaturgy. It was Spell only available to the Emperor. The Golden Theater was an 'Absolute Imperial Zone' where my word was now law. And such I had only let the Arrancar inside. And there I denied them, I denied the right to leave, I denied them access to their powers and soon I would accomplish their death.

I picked up my sword and pointed it towards the Arrancar. Who had now drawn their Zanpakuto?

"Hear me, Espada." And they for who could ignore the Charisma of the Emperor. "If you are wondering where you this is my Noble Phantasm! This is Aestus Domus Aurea! My Golden Theater! For I am Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus! The Emperor of Rome!" I saw Ulquiorra's face light up in recognition. "I am your Jury, your Judge, and your executioner. For your crimes against my people, I sentence you to DEATH!" I lifted Aestus Estus into the air both hands and the blade ignited. "Now burn! Las Saint Claudius!" I swung and the fire roared towards the two Espada. They tried to escape the tower of flames but, it was for naught as I did not let them. the fire of The Original Flame spread and caught them.

They tried to release their swords but, nothing happened for they were keys to their true power. And keys were not allowed to used inside The Golden Theater. Even the King's Key could not be used without my permission.

And so I heard them scream as the fire burned them alive and turned them to cinders. I quelled the flames and left nothing but, ash behind.

2 Saint Quartz and 40000 Saint Shards gained Mistress.

Not now Emerald.

I let the theater vanish. And I was once again standing in the park. I turned around to see the Shinigami starring at me with shocked faces even Urahara had lost his composure.

"I bid you a good day," I said before I vanished via Sonido and arrived back at the playground where Fou was dutifully waiting for me. The paramedics hadn't arrived yet but, I could hear the sirens. I dismissed Aestus Estus and picked up Fou. "Thanks for waiting for me boy." I vanished in another Sonido and did so a few more times until I landed in a random alley somewhere in Karakura Town.

There I finally uninstalled the card and dropped to my knees in exhaustion. I felt like I had just run a marathon.

That is no surprise Mistress. You almost used up your entire Od reserves just now.

I blinked. Wait, Od not Prana?

Of course Mistress you haven't unlocked your Magic Circuits yet, so you only have Od for now. And no Mistress I can't unlock them for you and you can't use the Store to do so.

She said before I even asked the questions.

So you said I got Shards?

Yes, Mistress, you gained 2 SQ and 40000 SS you can use in the Store.

Okay, let's do that then. I took out Emeralds body and the holographic screen came forth. I navigated my way to the Item Store. Which had a huge array of Items more than I had expected? Upgrades for Emerald, clothes for me, things for various Casters and lot's other things. I could even exchange Shards to the local currency. Emerald did give me a recommended list.

I went and bought 100 thousand Yen for a 1000 SS

An Inventory to store my things in for 10000 SS it, however, could only store a hundred objects and only up to certain size.

I upgraded Emerald search Radius up to 500M and I also upgraded her hacking capabilities so I now have wireless internet at all times.

I also bought and arm holster for her main body so that I didn't have to carry her in my pocket.

15000 SS I had left I used to buy a special called Alteration of the Soul which increased the amount of Od my Soul could generate.

I stood up and inserted Emeralds body into her new holster and I picked up Fou and placed him on my head.

I made my way out of the ally and asked Emerald for directions to the nearest McDonalds. For both, I and Fou were hungry as fuck and I had a craving for fast food.

After the meal I had Emerald find a Hotel where we could sleep and call it day. And where I also could safely panic about the consequences of killing Ulquiorra.
 
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