Muchitsujo no Konoha(MLP/Naruto)

[Akumakami64]

Muchitsujo no Konoha

I don't own MLP or Naruto

Summary: Instead of summoning the Shinigami, Minato gets a Draconequus. Instead of getting turned to stone, a certain draconequus gets sent to another world. With a world brimming with its own bloody form of Chaos, Discord find himself intrigued by these humans, these ningen. The question is, is he corrupting them or the other way around?

Minato Namikaze: Yondaime Hokage, Yellow Flash, Husband to Kushina Uzumaki, Student of Jiraiya, Sensei of Kakashi Hatake and two KIA students, officially a father as of now, and a few other things. While he certainly was proud of many things in his life, he wasn't too proud to admit he was confused and possibly made a mistake the size of the Hokage Mountain. Now, Minato had never seen the Shinigami, which he was thankful for, so he had no idea of what it really looked like, but he doubted this was it. Though, he had rushed the seal a little, so there was a chance that this was NOT a death god at all.

What it was, he had no idea. It was chimeric, made of at least a dozen different animals. It had a long, serpentine body that was at least fifteen feet from head to red scaled tail with spikes along the spine. Its hind legs consisted of one chestnut colored bull leg while the other was a lime green dragon palm with an opposable thumb. From above the tail to the start of its long neck, it had a had a rich shade of brown fur covering its slender form. On its back was a purple leathery wing and a blue feathered one, both relatively small to the rest of its body. For forelimbs, it sported a lion's paw and an eagle's claw. Its long craned neck and head were covered in grey fur with a black horse mane. Its somewhat equine head was adorned with two different horns, a white deer horn and a blue horn that might have been a ram's, along with a snaggletooth sticking out of its mouth. The thick eyebrows and goatee were solid white, giving the creature an aged appearance.

It just floated there, as if gravity didn't even acknowledge its existence while it slowly twisted and turned in the air, stroking its beard with its eagle claw, looking very confused and interested at the same time. It turned, looking at Minato with his dying wife and new born child right behind him. Those yellow orbs with different sized crimson eyes did have a very attention grabbing quality, even with the rest of the creature to consider.

Just by the look of it, Minato decided to dub the creature a he- if only to stop thinking of it as an it and to never relate that face to anything female- and he looked at Minato with a very curious expression. He spoke, but not in any tongue the Hokage had ever heard, "...I'm sorry, what did you say, Kami-Sama?" Minato asked sheepishly.

"Are you sure that's a Kami, Minato?" Kushina asked weakly, holding Naruto with one hand while the other pressed against the ground, her chakra chains barely holding down the Kyuubi for the time being.

The creature blinked as its eyes gained a look of understanding...before he pulled his tongue out to an overly comical length and letting it snap back into his mouth, his eyes spinning like a slot machine. After a moment of shocked and uncertain staring from the married couple, the eyes stopped with a celebratory bing-bing-bing sounding from nowhere as the eyes stopped and revealed the kanji for "Japanese", or rather Nihongo, in his eyes. He then proceeded to blink his eyes back to normal and grin at that, "Sorry, had to get my tongue adjusted, Little Ningen," He informed with a chuckle, hands on his hips- or where they would be if his body was shorter.

"...Are you the Shinigami?" Minato asked in disbelief.

""Death God?" Oh, no no no, my good sir!" He denied dramatically, waving his hands in front of him, "I am "Discord," or Muchitsujo in your tongue," He explained proudly.

"...So, does that mean you're the god of Chaos and Confusion?" Kushina asked weakly.

Discord hummed in interest as he looked over to her before locking onto the baby in her arms. Next thing Kushina knew, Discord's head and arms popped over from behind her shoulders, 'I never even saw him move!' Minato thought in shock and awe, almost feeling like his title as the Yellow Flash was being challenged.

"Oh, and does this little bundle of joy belong to you two?" Discord asked with an amused tone, one eagle arm over Kushina's shoulder and the lion's making a tickling gesture at the infant...then he blinked as he felt something unusual, something he wasn't used to feeling.

The sensation of someone truly and utterly wanting to kill him.

He rose an eyebrow as he looked into the glaring eyes of Kushina Uzumaki, focusing the intent to kill and daring him to harm a single hair on her baby's golden head. Kushina might never know the impact this one gesture had on the future of her world, how much that one motherly act impressed the opinion of a mad god.

The Lord of Discord looked to Minato out of the corner of his eye, keeping the other on Kushina. Discord saw the kunai in his hand, the glare in his blue eyes, felt the blasphemous intent to strike at a god that would lay a hand upon his family.

"Humans, how interesting," Discord muttered to himself in Equestrian as he grinned lazily and brought himself out from behind Kushina and switched back to Nihongo, "Hmm, I think I'm going to enjoy this world," He commented with a smirk at the night sky.

The two looked at him warily before Kushina gasped and hissed just as the sound of creaking metal filled the air, Kyuubi roaring as it finally broke from its restraints. Minato looked behind him in light shock while Discord just rose an eyebrow at the giant fox, "I take it this furball is why you were looking for a Shinigami?" The spirit of disharmony asked, clearly unimpressed.

"Muchitsujo-Sama!" Minato yelled with a desperate scowl on his face, "I know you're not the one I intended to summon, but please, will you help us?!" He asked quickly.

Discord's eyebrow shot up for a moment at the request before smirking coolly, "What's your name, Ningen?" He asked in amusement.

"Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure!" He answered without hesitation, even as he heard and sensed what had to be the Kyuubi charging a Bijuu Bomb.

"Then, Minato Namikaze, I have only two words to say to you...," Discord said ominously, trailing off while he raised his eagle claw slowly as the mass of dark purple chakra grew smaller and denser, "...Wish granted!" Discord declared with a snap of his finger.

*POP!*

The Bijuu Bomb, one of the greatest destructive abilities in all of Shinobi history literally popped in the face of Kyuubi...and exploded in a massive amount of pink bubble gum.

All of the ninjas stared in slack-jawed disbelief as the greatet of the nine stood there, stunned as it was covered in pink goop form its mouth down to its front legs and back to the feet of its hind legs. It comically tried to pull and thrash against the substance but only succeeded in shaking the ground and getting itself more stuck. It finally stopped in defeat when five of its tails tips were trapped in the sticky material, slouching down and whining in humiliation and confusion at its rather bizarre defeat.

"...You just defeated the Kyuubi no Kitsune with fucking bubble gum," Kushina said with a strained grin.

"Yes, yes I did. Not that it means anything to me, having never met a six tails, let alone a nine tails," Discord answered idly, giving a stage bow for his performance nonetheless.

"Um...not exactly what I had intended, but thanks all the same, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato said awkwardly, "...Do you mind waiting until we have the Kyuubi sealed again before you take my soul?" He requested sheepishly.

"Hmm? What's this about your soul?" Discord asked with a tilt of the head, which kept on turning until it was back in its original position.

Minato blinked but shook it off, "It's just that...well, when I was trying to summon the Shinigami, I was working under the assumption it would cost me my soul- I kind of assumed that that still applied," Minato explained, wondering if he might actually get out of this alive on top of everything else.

"Well, I appreciate the offer, but I have no desire or need for a soul," Discord said dismissively with his arms crossed, "Still, I guess I could use a payment for services rendered,"" He commented offhandedly.

"And what would that be?" Minato asked curiously, wondering what a God capable of defeating the Kyuubi with a snap of his fingers could possibly want with him if not his very soul.

Discord hummed as his eyes settled on the mother and newborn, "...There are three things I want at this exact moment," Discord said in an unusually serious voice as he floated over to Kushina, "First off, I want you..." He said, letting it hang as Kushina and Minato tensed, "...to not die," He finished with a grin as he snapped his fingers again.

Kushina blinked as she looked down at her body, feeling herself over with her free hand, "...I'm healed?" She questioned to no one in numb shock. And despite not being no one, Discord nodded in assurance, "YATTA! I'M GOING TO LIVE! YOU HEAR THAT NARU-CHAN!? KAA-SAN ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE!" Kushina cheered for joy, spinning in delight as she held up her baby boy, who giggled cutely at his mother's happiness.

Minato looked on in amazement and happiness that he suppressed half out of suspicion and half just because the shocks were making him numb to the situation, "And...and the other two things you want?" Minato asked slowly.

Discord still watched Kushina for a moment before tapping her shoulder, getting her immediate attention, "...May I hold him?" He asked with a toothy smile.

Both parents looked surprised by that, sharing confused looks. Before, Kushina had been protective and suspicious of this strange being. Now, he had just saved her home, her family, and her life. And now he was asking to hold her baby...? "Umm, sure, just be careful," Kushina answered uneasily as she slowly held out her son.

Discord just grinned as he took the child into his paw and claw. The babe stirred a bit unhappily at the change in holder before opening his bright eyes to look up at the Draconequus. Red eyes met blue, chaos met innocence, and omnipotence met potential.

Naruto Uzumaki giggled as his little arms reached out to grab the tangling goatee, completely unafraid of the strange creature that held him.

Discord grinned in an odd, knowing way as his beard slipped out of the toddler's hands before handing him back to his mother who was all too eager to have her son back in general, regardless of who or what was holding him, "Ahem, now onto that third thing...?" Discord reminded with a smirk as he looked at the Hokage. Minato wasn't sure if he liked that look.

Timeskip

"WHAT!?"

If it wasn't for Hiruzen Sarutobi being among the council of elders, Minato would have been all too tempted to disband them and pick newer ones, if only because he didn't like those three shoving their years of experience in his face whenever he disagreed with them.

Still, he took great joy in seeing Koharu and Homura going slack jawed at his explanation, "We summoned the wrong god," He informed sheepishly. Hokage or not, there was no way to say that without feeling awkward.

"How do you...summon the wrong god?!" Koharu asked in disbelief.

"Wrong or not, it seemed to have gotten the job done," Sarutobi commented with a smirk.

"Unconventional as it was, I am forced to agree," Danzo admitted evenly, "Yondaime-Sama, the Shinigami was going to take your soul. What did this god demand?...And why bubblegum?" Danzo asked, resisting the urge to glare at the briefly snickering Sarutobi.

"This...Kami had a most unusual request, but one that I can't see as a negative yet," Minato explained slowly, purposefully ignoring the other question.

"Well, don't keep us in suspense, Mina-Kun?" Sarutobi asked with a smirk.

"Oh, I just wanted to move into this quaint village of yours."

Minato sighed deeply as three of the four retired ninja held kunai in Discord's direction, who was laying on a couch (that had never been there) while spit polishing...Danzo's cane, who blinked as he found it gone.

The four took in the sight of the creature with wide eyes, having trouble just processing its design at first, "Is that a friendly greeting in these parts?" Discord asked in amusement, returning to his task of making the cane shine, rubbing his tail tip over it.

"Depends on the person, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato answered simply, tired yet amused.

"Oh? I'll have to find those then," Discord said with a massive grin.

"Hokage-Sama, THIS is the god you summoned?" Homura asked tensely.

"Yes, and he also defeated the Kyuubi in an instant," Minato pointed out, as if making it clear how stupid they were to threaten their guest.

"Well, you certainly got an interesting one, if nothing else," Sarutobi mused with a raised eyebrow.

"I knew the monkey would like me," Discord said with a chuckle as he spun the cane, very rapidly, before stopping it. He then tossed it in Danzo's direction, causing it to float at a sedate pace to the war hawk.

The one-eyed elder took it cautiously, eyeing the chimera with a scowl, "Where are my guards?"

"I was about to ask the same thing," Minato added in with a scowl, "I never got a chance to inform the ANBU about him before coming here."

"Oh, you mean theeeeeese~?" Discord asked teasingly, holding out a glass jar with tiny air holes in the lid...and filled with several black clothed and white masked humans, in miniature, scurrying around their confines and running up the walls, but unable to escape for some reason, "I thought they were thieves or something. I was going to turn them over to you after this, Nato-Kun," Discord explained casually, even as everyone stared at him in shock.

"You...you shrunk them?" Koharu asked in disbelief.

"Ningen, so easily impressed," Discord teased with a grin as he tossed the jar over the heads of the seniors in the room, into a worried Minato's arms, "Just break it when we're done, they'll be normal sized after that," He informed casually.

"Umm, right," Minato said awkwardly, placing it on his desk, the tiny ANBU squeaking for their leader to help them, "Just...sit tight for a moment," He requested with a sigh as he turned back to the god in his office, "Please refrain from shrinking my ninja in the future, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato requested.

"I told you, I thought they were thieves! I was just looking out for my new friend," Discord defended with an innocent look and a halo above his head.

Everyone rose an eyebrow at that, Danzo going as far as to tap the golden ring with his cane...making it fall off and down one side, landing on the couch as the light sputtered out, causing the chaotic being to cross his arms and pout, "You broke my halo," He complained childishly to Danzo.

The leader of ROOT had no response to that.

"Muchitsujo-Sama, was it?" Sarutobi spoke up, smiling in welcome and in amusement over his old comrade's reactions, "Bring us back to the subject at hand, you wish to live among us mortals?"

"Said the God of Shinobi," Discord countered in amusement, "But, yes, I have been on the hunt for a more accommodating home. Low and behold, Nato-kun accidentally summoned me to this quaint little dimension and...well, I'm not one to turn down Chaos giving me such a boon," he explained casually.

"...There are so many questions that rise from that answer," Homura stated warily.

"Most pertinent is a clarification: While we deeply appreciate you for subduing the Kyuubi, what exactly are your demands as far as "moving in" as you put it, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Sarutobi inquired diplomatically, his old teammates sharing a look, pondering what it would cost to build a home or shrine great enough to satisfy such a being.

"Oh, mainly just you Ningen having to get used to my wonderful personality and sense of humor," Discord answered with a smile that was both benign and disturbing, before smirking at them. "Money has no meaning for me, and luxury, while a nice sentiment, is little better. Still, I would need some space to myself: You all have a particularly chaotic place nearby I can use?" he asked playfully, not really expecting an answer.

"...Well, there's the Forest of Death?" Minato suggested offhandedly.

The God of Chaos blinked, catching their attention. "This place has one of those too?" he asked,stroking his beard. "Odd coincidence."

"Hmm? What do you mean, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Minato inquired curiously.

"Oh, it's nothing, just some place from the world I came from had a dark, so-called unnatural forest that was the subject of many scary stories, and was right next to a small town," he explained.

The Hokage and elders thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Yes, that does sound like the Forest of Death," Koharu murmured.

"If I may speak, Kami-Sama?" Danzo started stoically.

"If I opposed, you'd have already known," Discord granted as he leaned back in the couch, summoning a golden goblet to drink a green and black swirled slushie through a katana-shaped straw.

Reacting as little to the madness before him as possible, Danzo continued. "While thanks are due, I must inquire as to what became of the Kyuubi. It simply...vanished not long after it was...trapped."

"And all the gum too, thankfully," Minato murmured in relief.

"You're welcome, Nato-kun," Discord said with a too-sincere grin, the colors fading from his drink as he sucked, but the drink itself never getting reduced in volume. He paused, giving a wry look to the war hawk. "Don't worry, I sent the furball somewhere it won't bother you all."

The room got uncomfortably quiet, to Discord's amusement and delight. "With respect, Muchitsujo-Sama, we need to seal that creature," Homura stated warily.

"Hmm?" Discord stopped, peering at the elders with a furrowed brow before slowly giving a dark smirk. "Ohh, I see now. You want to use Niney as a weapon."

"A deterrent, actually," Sarutobi spoke up diplomatically. "It is not the only one of its kind, Kami-Sama; the other eight are divided among other shinobi villages."

"Mutually Assured Destruction," Discord summarized with a giggle; as if he found it a childishly amusing game. He tossed the goblet behind himself offhandedly as it dissolved into lines and colors before disappearing in midair. "The fox stays with me, Ningen."

'Genjutsu?' the elder ninja wondered in confusion, unable to sense the illusion in any form.

Koharu and Homura grimaced at that while Danzo scowled slightly. Sarutobi just looked curious. "Was that part of this arrangement, Minato-Kun?" he inquired curiously.

"No," Discord admitted with a chuckle. "But that was when I was under the impression that claiming my new pet wouldn't be an issue."

"And it won't be," Minato assured firmly, to even Discord's surprise.

"Hokage-Sama, that is not a decision to make lightly!" Koharu interjected in outrage.

"I'm not," Minato answered, giving her an even, level smirk. "I'm just not going to argue with the Kami that made it."

"You're too pale and not bald enough to be saying that," Discord remarked with a snort despite his amused tone.

The Yondaime chose to ignore that strange comment. "But in light of our current state, I hope you wouldn't be opposed to aiding us if others smelt blood in the water?" he asked hopefully.

Discord smiled and it was almost predatory. "Nato-Kun, I told you I'm moving in. What kind of roommate would I be if I didn't help bash in some heads while we're being robbed?"

The council members eyed the exchange with understanding and tepid approval. Minato was coveting the good will of a Kami, a powerful one that was rather casual in throwing his weighty power around. Losing the Kyuubi might be a small sacrifice for his protection and, possibly, what else they could gain from this relationship. More to the point, besides being dangerous to defy a Kami in any capacity, it was beyond their power to do anything right now about the situation.

"Now, if we're done, I believe you have some fatherly gushing to catch up on. Or is that just a Mom-thing here?" Discord inquired with a chuckle.

"More of a "we're so happy we don't have to orphan our newborn" thing," Minato answered, giving a respectful bow to Discord before disappearing via Hiraishin.

The draconequus blinked before scowling. "Well, someone is stealing my thunder," he quipped before vanishing in a snap of his talons-

*CRACK!*

-causing the jar of tiny-ANBU to fall off the desk and break, the retired ninjas jumping back as the room was suddenly filled with a pile of ANBU agents, groaning and tangled together.

The veterans all shared a look and sighed, mentally agreeing that they were getting too old for this.

End of Chapter

And there we go! Firest chapter to this bit. Had half of this done for over a year, just waiting for inspiration to continue. So, also, yes, Muchitsujo is "Discord" in japanese as far as I can tell. Anyway, obviously Discord has taken a shine to Naruto and family, but remember that this is Pre-reform Discord, villain Discord. He's only actting nice-ish because this world is already chaotic in its own way. Time will tell how much he'll affect the village.

 

[Akumakami64]

"Welcome to Training Ground Forty-Four, affectionately called the Forest of Death," Minato introduced as they stood before the massive training grounds.

Discord whistled as he stood next to the Hokage and tipped down his black shades. He was also wearing an orange business suit for some reason. "I can only imagine the problem with property value around here," he mused, looking at Minato in expertly feigned seriousness. "What's the school district like?"

"..." Minato stared for a moment with a sweat-drop. "You're fucking with me, are you, Muchitsujo-Sama?"

"Yes, but now I'm going to be curious about what ninja school is like," Discord admitted curiously. "But, seriously, what's the catch?"

"If you want it, no catch. Though, if you don't mind, we'd still like to use it for survival training and exams," Minato explained diplomatically. He became very concerned when Discord grinned toothily. "Please do not sabotage those events, Kami-Sama."

"Oh, I won't. Just throw a few curve-balls, maybe pick on someone I find interesting," Discord assured with a chuckle. "Speaking of which, here comes Tomato and Sunshine."

"Oi!" Kushina yelled as she approached the duo, the baby Naruto giggling in her arms. "Saved us or not, recovering from childbirth is the only reason I won't try to smack you for that, Muchi-Dono," Kushina warned with a balled fist.

"I welcome the event," Discord countered smoothly as his suit dissolved into a bunch of spiders that flew off in the breeze, Minato chuckling awkwardly at the exchange while Naruto stared with wide eyed wonder. "And what do you mean recover? I thought I fixed you up?" he questioned with a raised brow.

Kushina calmed down with a smile at that. "Yes, but even with that miracle, my body and chakra coil needs to adjust to not only NOT having the Kyuubi in me anymore, but also little Naru-Chan here," she remarked, the newborn cooing at the mention of his name.

"Wait, you gave birth the same night?" Discord asked, sounding legitimately impressed, then stroking his beard. "Well, I did only just restore you back to before furball got taken from you. I would have done a bit more if I had been informed how new the newborn was. If you want, I could put some of my mag-er, chakra in you," Discord offered with a grin.

The married couple blinked owlishly at the god's offer before sharing a look. "Is he hitting on me/you?" they both asked in sync.

"What?" Discord asked with a scrunched brow. "Why wou- oh, no! I'm not a homewrecker. Well, not to you two, at least," he amended dismissively. "I was just offering to ease your system into not having a jumbo stash of Chakra to work around," he explained.

"With all due respect, Muchi-Dono, I've had a mass of hatred enriched chakra near my womb and that, at minimum, gave Naru-Chan whisker marks," she pointed out with a deadpan. "I'm not sure I want to know what a GOD's chakra would do to them."

"Mildly offended, but I do see your point," Discord accepted with an eye roll. He was about to continue, but stopped as he saw Kushina partially opening the top of her kimono to breastfeed Naruto.

Minato, previously smiling at the scene, caught the draconequus staring at his wife and son again. While most would find this a bit rude, Minato noticed that Discord's eyes carried a look of actual surprise and curiosity in them. "Is...something the matter, Muchitsujo-Sama?" Minato asked carefully.

"Oh, no, just noting a weird contradictions between worlds," Discord stated idly as he snapped his talons.

The parents and child suddenly found themselves sitting at desks in a classroom, with young Naruto in a highchair between them, looking confused, but mercifully not about to cry. They both blinked as Discord stood up at a blackboard, holding a ruler. "See, back in my old world," Discord started, tapping the instrument where the equestrian words for "First World" were written. While Kushina and Minato didn't know that for sure, they deduced as much from the neighboring world, Dainnisekai: Second World. "Minus fashion and special events, going nude was actually the norm, but it was custom to breastfeed in private," he elaborated, the words below First World being "Nude=Private Feeding?" before he moved to the other column. "Yet, at least in this village, it seems that the reverse is true," he mused as the words "Modest=Public Feeding?" appeared.

"Okay, I'll admit ,that is...weird," Kushina agreed, clearly confused by a world that went au naturel but mostly shunned public breastfeeding. Then again, she knew humans could be very strange and contradictory, so maybe this was just some strange cultural thing.

"Well ,enough of that," Discord decided, pulling a string that made the literal entire setting roll up like a window blind.

Kushina and Minato instinctively jumped out of their chairs, avoiding being tumbling over as they landed back where they had been, Naruto still in his highchair. He looked around in surprise at the change in environment. If he was a bit older, he might have wondered if he dozed off while his mother or someone was carrying him. Now, however, his face began to scrunch up into a tense, nasty look.

"Oh, right, I interrupted his snack," Discord realized as the mother quickly retrieved the child to continue the feeding. If it hadn't been Discord's doing, she would have been more freaked out by the highchair suddenly falling to pieces now that it lacked a passenger. "You know, you ningen seem to be coping with me pretty well," Discord mused with a head tilt.

"Huh? What do you mean, Kami-Sama?" Minato asked in surprise.

"Nothing," Discord answered with a shrug. "So, this "Fire-Shadow", this Hokage thing? Am I understanding it right that you rule over just this village, Mina-Kun?" Discord questioned, stroking his beard.

"More or less, yes," Minato answered awkwardly. "I'm not quite sure how to explain it in a brief-."

"Kage is a title granted to a Shinobi village leader in one of the five great countries," Kushina explained with a smug smile. "Shinobi villages are technically military operations that officially serve the Daimyo. However, we are highly autonomous from the rest of the country in terms of governance. This is largely due to our wide spread use and mastery of using chakra to perform jutsus, and neither side wanting a conflict between our superior firepower and their superior numbers. The village also works somewhat like a mercenary agency, performs tasks for varying amounts of money, so long as they don't conflict with the home country's direct interests or safety. In function, the village is essentially a military dictatorship, with each Kage normally choosing their own successors," she paused to breath, Naruto continuing to feed from her milk-filled breasts. "Does that help?" she asked with a smile.

The two males stared at her in surprise for half a moment before Discord summarized his thoughts. "So, she's the smart one?"

"Not normally, no," Minato answered, raising a brow at his wife.

In turn, Kushina turned sheepish. "Well, as you know, the higher ups already know about him," she reminded, pointing to an amused Discord. "So, Shikaku maaaay have somehow deduced that our new Kami here isn't exactly native to our world and might have drilled that simplified summary into my head to make sure you didn't accidentally start an international incident, Muchi-Sama," she elaborated as she finished feeding her baby and replaced her top.

"Why, I never!" Discord declared, huffing with his arms crossed. "As if I'd do such a thing unintentionally."

"That reassures no one, Kami-Sama," Minato said with a sigh. "We also need to figure out how to...introduce you to the village."

"Not going to try and keep me a secret, Mina-Kun?" Discord said teasingly as he flew behind the Hokage. "I thought that's what you ninja types were all about. What's your saying? Look between the between?"

Minato paused as he thought about that question. "While you're wrong, that does still fit," he acknowledged before looking at the god with complete seriousness. "But I know you wouldn't keep yourself a secret even if I asked, would you?"

"Guilty!" Discord agreed with a massive grin, suddenly wearing a orange prison jumpsuit, something that caused Naruto to giggle in his mother's arms. "Okay, I think he just likes orange or something," Discord commented blandly as he ripped the suit off to reveal his naked glory once more.

"Even if you had been willing, I couldn't keep it a secret. Too many people are already asking about how bubblegum stopped the Kyuubi," Minato pointed out as Kushina snickered.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy remembering that for years," the redhead declared with a hint of sadism.

"I'm guessing he wasn't a great roommate," Discord mused idly, chuckling at Kushina's glare of an answer. "That said, while I obvious detest a script, I am willing to...keep to a theme, shall we say," Discord offered coyly to the humans.

"A theme?" Minato asked curiously.

"Yes, well, given that I've commandeered your war deterrent, I understand you might want...something to tell your enemies that it's not open season on the Leaves," Discord answered knowingly, before looking thoughtful. "Or would you rather I be more comforting to those little villagers of yours?"

The parents looked to one another before Kushina cocked her head at the draconequus. "Can you do both?"

"Oh, Kushi-Chan, now who's flirting?" Discord countered, dancing a hair comb between the digits of his lion paw.

"I'll take that as a yes," Minato accepted with a shrug before looking wary. "Umm, Kami-Sama? May I ask a question that may sound...offensive?"

Discord rolled his eyes at that. "Minato, let me be blunt: the odds of you unintentionally offending me are smaller than the fuse on a sun princess," Discord assured, waving him on.

"Well, I was thinking about my speech to introduce you, so is there...a word for what you, or rather, your form is?" Minato asked, eyeing the mismatched body for effect.

Discord looked pleasantly surprised by that question. "Hmm, there was one word the locals used. While it was a bit of a mouthful in my old world's tongue, it rolls off a bit better in Nihongo. I believe it would be, Ryoma?" Discord supplied with a grin. At their silence, he blinked, turning to look at them in confusion. The ningen seemed a bit too shocked. "What, what'd I say?"

They didn't answer as their eyes trailed over his body carefully. "Long neck and wings at the side," Minato pointed out.

"Can, technically, tread on water without sinking," Kushina mused, observing the gap between Discord and the ground. "Definitely flies."

"Depending on what you're counting, at least five different main colors," Minato added in as he thought back to everything he knew this god could do. "Shrink, grow, turn invisible?"

"Yes, yes, I can do all of those things," Discord interrupted, looking between them oddly. "Seriously, what's got you two so wigged out? Wait, you have legends about me already, don't you?" he asked, a bit annoyed. "Am I now an evil omen or something?"

"Maybe?" Kushina answered uncertainly. "Ryoma can be a sign of great fortune or the end of an era, buuuuut they always appear for the same reason."

"And what would that be?" Discord inquired, less peeved and more curious now.

"The presence or coming of a great leader," Minato answered, sending an odd look to his wife. Or, rather, their baby in her arms.

Discord raised a brow as he processed that. An omen of great change, be it good or bad. He liked that, honestly, but his arrival signaling a great leader? That was the thought that made him remember the Alicorns. "Okay, I actually can't completely argue against that," Discord recalled with a face palm before literally pulling his face off.

"Ahhh!" Naruto cried in surprise at the rather disturbing, to him, display.

"Whoops!" Discord declared, slapping his face back on as Kushina tried to calm and sooth her son. "Well, can't blame the kid. The Slenderman thing messes with a lot of people," Discord said sheepishly as Kushina gave him a dirty look for scaring her child. "I guess I just lost babysitting privileges, eh?"

The mother and father of Naruto looked at each other in wide eyed surprise, not sure if he was serious or if they wanted him to be.

"Still," Minato redirected with a cough. "I know I summoned you by accident, Muchitsujo-Sama, but maybe there was a reason you ended up in our world," he suggested with a smile.

"Mina-Kun, I'm Chaos. I take a brick to destiny," Discord retorted with a snort. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of redecorating to do."

The family watched as Discord flew off into the Forest of Death without a care in the world, the sounds of elephant trumpets playing kazoo echoing in his wake. "Minato-kun, I'm not interested in him, but you know some of the women in the village are going to be interested in...repaying him, right? Especially if he takes on human form," Kushina pointed out with a playful smirk.

Minato gave her an annoyed look. "Thank you, Dear, for that lovely image of divine bestiality into my head."

Timeskip

It had been two days since the Kyuubi Attack. Two days of grief and confusion as they numbered the dead and tallied the damages. Even with the aid of the Third Hokage pushing the tailed beast out of the village, the damages to the village were heavy and evident, with the great gap in their famous walls as a constant reminder of the recent tragedy.

Of course, many questions were left unanswered. There were tales floating around of the Kyuubi simply disappearing...after being covered in bubblegum, apparently. Civilians and shinobi alike were growing impatient for answers, for a straight story that could put their minds at ease, for themselves and for their families.

Thus, a large crowd had gathered before the Hokage Tower, for word had been spread that there would be an announcement today, hopefully explaining everything. And as the sun hung high behind cloudy skies, Minato stood on the balcony, overlooking his village. "People of Konoha! I know that you have endured much in the past few days: The near destruction of our village by a tailed beat, the lose of cherished homes and loved ones taken from us too soon," he began, pausing to allow a respectful silence fall over the crowd. "But you already know this. You have lived it. I have brought you here to explain all that I can. When I arrived to defend the village, I fully intended to give my life to save my home, our home! And in doing so, I would have gave my soul to the Shinigami," he explained, as murmurs and gasps rang over the villagers and even the shinobi. Minato smiled a benevolent, humble smile now as he prepared to lighten the mood. "But as I stand before you, that is obviously not how events unfolded. I do not know if it was a happy accident or the intervention of fate, but...a different god answered my call."

Many a ninja felt the hairs on the back of their necks stand at attention as those ominous words registered, just as lighting leapt across the sky. Or, rather, what they thought was lightning.

The bolt of electricity shot towards the Hokage Tower, but the yellow flash stood unflinchingly as it neared. It zipped and curved around the top of the building, making several cry out in alarm as the strike refused to banish or dissipate. The head of the bolt curved up before looking down at the Hokage and the crowd below him. Then, just as suddenly, a pair of mismatched wings "broke" through the electricity, as if it were a cocoon or snake skin. as the apparent shell cracked, the being within shook itself free, the lightning floating up and dissipating into specks of light.

"My friends and comrades, allow me to introduce the one who defeated the Kyuubi, yes, with bubblegum: Muchitsujo-Sama the Ryoma, the Kami of Chaos!" Minato introduced proudly as they all laid eyes upon the great, chimeric beast that floated above them in a form that was serpentine and at least forty feet long. Naturally, those of the leaf were too stunned to react to such an entrance for this creature.

And Discord being Discord, decided to seize the moment. "Greetings, my little ningen!" he declared in a voice that reached them all yet did not boom, giving a wide and snaggletooth grin. "I am "Discord" or Muchitsujo in your tongue. I have come to you by chance, but in exchange for granting the wish of your leader, he has agreed that I may live amongst this village. I am new to your world and your kind is new to me, so I shall state this once: Nothing of my power shall harm you unless I desire it to," Discord spoke to them all.

The silence continued to stretch on until someone became foolish or brave enough to ask the most important question to everyone: "How did you defeat the Kyuubi with bubblegum?!"

Everyone turned in the direction of the villager that called out the inquiry, Discord just smirking as he lifted up his talons. "Like this," he answered with a snap as several pops rang out around the crowd.

"OW!" "WHAT THE HELL!?" "WHY IS THIS EVEN IN MY PANTS?!"

Various members of the crowd had found that random objects on them had turned into bubblegum and promptly exploded: A Kunoichi's kunai pouch, a Jonin's vest, the questioning villager's underwear, etc.

Many in the crowd couldn't stop laughing even as Discord let out a chuckle, slowly drawing attention back to himself as he shrank back down to his normal size and landed by a bemused Yondaime. Ignoring the blonde next to him, the mismatched entity leaned over the rails as he slurped chocolate milk through a bendy straw that was strangely shaped like one of the Kyuubi's tails. "Long story short, ningens: I'm moving in and bunking with you lot. But while I feel I've already paid my share of rent dealing with the furball, I've decided to put my best hoof forward in making this a wonderful relationship. So, here's my security deposit," Discord announced as he snapped his fingers again, a light briefly washing over the entire village.

Most winced or squinted, but once it passed, the were merely looking around in uncertainty as they found nothing to indicate a change.

"I think you need to spell it out for them, Muchitsujo-Sama," Minato whispered to the chaos god.

"Aww, do I have to, Mina-Kun? I wanted them to be surprised," Discord complained, pouting with his arms crossed. He obviously didn't care that the whole village could hear him still as the Hokage gave him a hopeful look. "Oh fine. I undid the damages to all the buildings!" he explained with a huff.

Murmurs of disbelief and surprise ran through the crowd as several Shinobi and Kunoichi leapt to the tallest buildings in the areas, sans the towers.

"He's right! The village! It's as good as new!"

"Even the wall is fixed!"

"And it's orange!"

Minato raised an eyebrow at Discord, who shrugged. "Eh, I figured you mortals would use as a memorial or something," he waved off before his ears perked up at a sound he wasn't really used to.

"Muchitsujo! Muchitsujo! Muchitsujo!"

Minato was almost taken back by how Discord looked so unexpected to hear the praise and cheering roaring from the crowd, thankful to their supposedly divine savior saving their lives and returning their homes. It was starting to become clear that this being wasn't used to positive reactions to his antics. He wasn't sure if that was sad or worrying. Still, that aside. "Well, between that and your entrance, I'd say you pulled off the intimidating-comfort angle rather well, Kami-Sama," he said in congratulations.

"Huh?" Discord asked as he snapped out of his stupor. "Oh, the entrance wasn't for intimidation, that was just for presentation," Discord countered with a grin.

Minato blinked, feeling like he was missing something. "Then what was the intimidation aspect?" he questioned.

"You know all those rival villages your Konoha has?" Discord redirected with a coy look.

"Yeeeeees?" Minato asked warily.

"I moved all their spies five feet from where they were before."

Author's Note:

And here's chapter two! Hope you all enjoyed this. Next chapter we'll be skipping years ahead. Anyway, Discord has a place to call his own and has been endeared to the village at large....and scared the hell out of some spies, I'm sure.

Not else much to say, hope you all enjoyed this. Til next time!

 

[Akumakami64]

Three years had passed in a slow blur.

A strange yet fitting contradiction for when one such as Discord was involved. Being the ancient entity he was, the passage of time held less meaning for him already. But these ningen, these ninja and their world had made his perception skid and enjoy these days. They were far more memorable than anything he had experienced in an age.

"Muchi-Oji! Muchi-Oji!"

And that was his favorite little skidder.

Discord effortlessly awoke from his nap upon a jello-tree, flying out to the edge of the Forest of Death, and found a three year old blonde trotting to him with a blanket curled around his shoulder.

"Rutty!" Discord greeted as he teleported in front of him, pulling him up into a hug. The blond giggled infectiously as Discord saluted to the hidden ANBU that had watched over the tike on his trip to this lovely named patch of fenced off wilderness. Sensing they were properly alone, he pulled back the toddler and gave him a curious look. "Now what in the name of baloney mushrooms are you doing here? Does Mama Red and Papa Yellow know you're here?" he asked playfully, but got back a sad frown.

"They're fighting again. Kaa-San is still mad about the people Tou-San is letting coming here," Naruto explained sadly, giving him hopeful eyes. "Can I stay the night with you?"

Any other time, it would be massively concerning that a child would rather stay in the Forest of Death instead of with his own parents, but Discord knew it was simply a matter of Naruto feeling safe around him rather than any bad sign of misparenting on Minato or Kushina's part.

Naruto being able to sneak out was either a sign of his potential as a ninja or their acceptance of their son paying him visits when they fought…either or, maybe both, but it wasn't important.

"Of course you can, Naruto," Discord promised before gaining an impish look. "But since we're both awake, how about we take a little fly!"

Naruto laughed away his sorrows as he found himself flying on the back of the draconequus and going high into the sky. For some, it'd be like a fairy tale. For Naruto, it was just another week in his life. Within no time, the blond human found himself seated atop a cloud with a chabudai of green and pink zig-zagging lines between them. "So we're Fire, and I know the other big four are Water, Wind, Earth, and Lightning," Discord mused as he stared at the map on the table.

"Why are we called Fire though?" Naruto asked curiously, tilting his head.

"I guess there used to be too many forest fires in the summer," Discord joked as Naruto giggled like only a young child was allowed to. In truth, he probably knew the answer laid in the ningen themselves. Magic, name regardless, always had affinities. And certain things influenced a person's likelihood towards an affinity. Blood often was a big factor, but if there was no big genetic pull, the land of their birth often played a part. And most mortals didn't have much of a genetic pull to one affinity or another without what was called a bloodline limit, or Kekkei Genki.

But discussion such a complicated matter would only confuse the poor boy, Discord was sure.

Still, it was nice going over this with Naruto. He rarely admitted it, but the short stuff was better at some things than him. "Still can't remember most of these tiny nations or villages," Discord mused, looking as if he would flick the depictions away like annoying fleas.

Given whom he was, that was a possibility.

"Well, that's Rice-something, that's Grass, that's Snow way over there and...I think that's Rain?" Naruto asked himself, not noticing he was speaking another language, or that Discord was. He suspected it was some surrogate-uncle version of parental instincts, but he thought it was a good idea to bless Naruto with a minor ability, allowing to understand and speak any language as if he was born to it, switching automatically.

And if Discord was honest, it was nice to speak Equestrian every now and again. He spent far too long on that world.

"No, wait, that's Waterfall. THAT's Rain!" Naruto said with a wide toothed smile, proudly pointing at the middle.

"Who names a place Rain? Sounds like I need to pay them a visit," Discord mused, tapping the map idly.

"Uncle Muchi?" Naruto asked curiously, getting a hum as an answer. "Mom and Dad say I can grow up to be as strong as them one day."

"Oh, I think you can be stronger than that, Rutty," Discord said with a chuckle as he kept looking at the map.

"Can I-" Naruto paused, looking away briefly before staring at the Lord of Chaos once more. "Can I be as strong as you one day?"

Discord opened his mouth, but closed it as the words registered, looking curiously at his nephew-figure. "I don't think so?"

Naruto might have been hurt or disappointed if Discord hadn't sounded so uncertain. "Whatcha mean, Uncle?"

"Well, no one has been able to reach my level. Not really," Discord answered honestly. "I'm not saying you can't, but I'll be impressed if you did."

"Oh," Naruto accepted thoughtfully. "Why'd you get so strong, Uncle?"

"Hmm? I don't understand the question?" Discord retorted, giving the little ningen an odd look.

"Well, Dad got strong to protect everyone, Mom did it because she was trying to be Hokage, and...I think Kaka is doing it for his dad and friends?" Naruto answered uncertainly. "Even bad people have reasons for getting strong, like takin over the world or beating one of the other villages. So, what was your reason, Uncle?"

Discord didn't answer, staring at the child as if he was the greatest mystery in the universe. "Why do you want to be as strong as me?"

"Hey, no fair, Uncle! I asked you first!" Naruto countered with a childish pout.

"Well, I guess neither of us will know, eh, Rutty?" Discord stated playfully, before his smile instantly melted into a scowl.

"What's wrong, Muchi-Oji?" Naruto asked in concern.

"Naruto, never ignore your wife when you grow up," Discord advised randomly, making the boy float over to his back before they flew off the cloud, and headed down to the village.

"Where are we going?" Naruto asked curiously, knowing this was certainly not the way home.

"Oh, that's right! You wouldn't know," Discord said with a jovial tone. "I need to check up on a certain little birthday girl."

"Birthday girl?" Naruto repeated, blinking. "Did you get her a present?"

"I believe I'm about to," Discord murmured as they floated down.

"Isn't this the Hyuuga's place?" Naruto asked as he looked around.

"Shh! We're late, so most of them are asleep," Discord shushed as they floated down, just above the courtyard.

"Oh, okay," Naruto said as they silently watched what looked like a peaceful household. Then, silent as the night, a masked man emerged from a window, carrying a sack over his shoulder. "We're not here to give a present, are we?" Naruto guessed grimly. Or what passed for grimly. It just sounded sad to Discord's ear as he landed on the top of the Hyuuga walls.

"Don't worry, Gaki. We got this," Discord assured as they remained invisible to the kidnapper's sight by his chaotic powers and waited for his approach. Once the man was in sight, Discord's tail whipped down and the hairs at the end lengthened, reaching out to ensnare the ninja.

"Wh-what is this?!" the man hissed as he was pulled off the ground. He looked up, only to pale as the invisibility was dropped, spotting the mismatch form of Konoha's local god. "Mu-Muchitsujo-Sama," he breathed in fear.

"Naruto, take the sack please. He won't be needing it. Right, Kumo-San?" Discord asked with an unkind smile.

The man flinched as he was brought closer so that the toddler might rob him of his prize. He knew who this was; anyone would have to be blind not to know after meeting the Yondiame Hokage. He was tempted to lash out, but he could feel the threads tear through some of his clothes without cutting his flesh…a clear warning to behave. He merely gritted his teeth and bore the indignation as Naruto removed the sack curiously; with that done, Discord flung the man into a tree, his hairs severing and entangling into it to pin the man there.

Naruto curiously opened the bag and blinked as a little girl's head popped out, scared eyes peering up at him. "W-who are you?" she asked, looking afraid to even come out of the sack.

Naruto would have none of that, smiling widely as he pulled it down, giving her a full view of her saviors. Her pale eyes were wide with awe at the sight of the mighty ryoma and the blonde boy upon his back. "I'm Naruto Namikaze. This is my Oji, Muchitsujo," Naruto introduced, looking at her curiously. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"I-I'm fine. T-thank you for saving me, Kami-Sama, Namikaze-Sama," Hinata said with a nervous smile.

"You're quite welcome, my dear," Discord assured with a playful smile. "Now, I believe your father needs an explanation. Eh, Hiashi-Kun?" Discord asked, glancing down at the Hyuuga Clan Head, who was looking at the god and the Kumo ninja in bewilderment.

"Tou-San!" the girl yelled in relief, smiling tearful at her father and then squealing in momentary fright as Discord used his tail to gently lower her to the ground.

"I would deeply appreciate that, Kami-Sama," Hiashi said uneasily before smiling slightly at his daughter when she ran to embrace him. "But I can assume I owe you my thanks."

"And Naruto's," Discord retorted, nodding to his nephew, who blushed in embarrassment.

"I-I didn't do anything though," Naruto refused, knowing he had just been along for the ride.

"Yes, but I wouldn't have been out and about if you hadn't come to me tonight, Ruto-Kun," Discord answered with a chuckle.

Hinata stared up at the pair in awe, the image engrained into her little mind: the blond prince and the chaos god who saved her, smiling and framed in moonlight.

"In any case, I'd say these two little ones are pretty awake," Discord mused absently. "If you don't mind, Hiashi-Kun, would you mind watching them so they can play while I take our manner-less friend to Mina-Kun?" Discord suggested with a hint of veiled sadism that made the Kumo ninja shudder in his binds, having tried and failed to find an escape.

Hiashi was no fool. One didn't deny a god's suggestion without good consideration and there was nothing to consider in this. "I'd be happy to, Muchitsujo-Sama."

"Excellent!" Discord said with a cheerful smile as he poofed a confused Naruto to be standing with the two paled eyed humans. "Behave, Naruto. I'll come back in a little bit. Or your parents will, either or. Arrivederci!" Discord said before he and his captive vanished with a snap of his talons.

Naruto looked to the daughter of the leader of the Hyuuga Clan, tilting his head curiously. "Do you like to play spider tag?"

Meanwhile, Minato was very confused to find himself sitting in the Hokage's office rather than the couch at home. Had he fallen asleep here? Was the fight with Kushina a dream?

"She's never going to let you hear the end of this, Mina-Kun."

Minato grimaced at the voice. No, if he was here, that meant he had just been teleported here. "End of what, Muchitsujo-Sama?" he asked with a tired sigh as he turned his chair around to see two figures. One was a very amused god of chaos, the other was his wife with a smug grin and wicked glint in her eyes. Minato leaned forward and saw that for once, the Kami in question wasn't floating. He was standing on the body of the ambassador from Kumo, who was bound up in what might as well be a giant white ball of yarn.

He only had one extremely important question before all else. "Where is Naruto?" he asked with a furrowed brow, his emotions between concerned and curious. Concerned because, did that mean he didn't make it to the Forest of Death? Had the ANBU been defeated by an unexpected enemy? If not, he was curious as to where Discord had deposited the blond.

"Oh, he's just making friends with a birthday girl," Discord answered, examining his claws idly.

That startled Kushina out of her moment of victory. "Naru-Chan is with the Hyuuga girl? Oi, Muchi-Dono! Are you playing matchmaker for Naruto without talking to his Kaa-San?" Kushina asked accusingly.

"Matchmaker? Tomato-Chan, I don't make matches. That's too orderly. I simply set up the dominos to see how they land," Discord retorted flippantly.

"Dominos?" Kushina repeated before narrowing her eyes. "You're intending a lot of girls to fight over Naru-Chan?"

"Well, the ones that aren't into sharing," Discord joked with a suggestive eye wiggle.

Kushina held his stare for a moment before grinning. "Oh, like my manly Naru-Chan needs any help getting ladies to fight over him," Kushina said proudly.

Discord had what Minato called a Ningen-Moment, sharing a weirded-out look and a sweat drop with the fourth Hokage over the antics of the former Kyuubi Jinchuriki. It was something Minato had taken a curious interest in witnessing. Muchitsujo was very aloof and playful, seeming to deem anything and everything important to most people as beneath him. He studied and watched their culture and customs out of idle curiosity, but every now and again, the divine chimera had a moment where his reaction was unexpectedly normal.

They never lasted long though.

"Right, so, Kushina? Do you need to get the dance of a thousand 'I-Told-You-So's over with or shall we address Kumo's tendency to abduct underage girls?" Discord asked dryly.

Minato's eye twitched as Kushina gave him a demonic look. "We'll save the dance for a more…private time, Muchi-Dono. For now?" she stopped, glaring down at the captured Kumo ninja.

Discord floated off him and flicked his claws, the man suddenly pinned to the wall as the hair became like glue…industrial glue. "While I'm sure we know the answer, it's best to hear it from the source," Minato said, instantly in front of the man, who looked very, very pale as he was being stared down by not only the God of Chaos, but the Yellow Flash and Kushina Uzumaki. This was definitely not good for him. "So, why exactly were you trying to kidnap the daughter of Hiashi Hyuuga?" Minato asked in a disturbingly polite tone.

"Please, do me a favor: lie," Discord requested with a chuckle. "I'd love to see what they'll do to you."

End of Chapter

Well, that's the third one. I'm actually very happy with this one, if only because in all the fics where Minato and Kushina don't die, I don't think many have them bringing up this isn't the first time they've dealt with Kumo trying to steal a young girl of Konoha. Meanwhile, Discord is enjoying life as a Kami among Ningen, with a little Rutty to spoil and play with.

So, there'll be a chapter or two before the next timeskip, mostly over the fallout of this. Next jump should be to the Uchiha incident.

As before, I appreciate any tips to my pat-reon and GoFundMe, but I understand anyone not having the ability or desire to do so. Especially given that America just became the new epicenter of the coronavirus. Everyone be safe and be well.