[NaNoWriMo] Part-Time Magica: Yulia Atyanas and the Magic of Fisticuffs

[justinkal]

Ok, been a while since I've sat down to read any of this.

Chapter 7.1:

The small Blue Slime that releasing a steady burbling sound that grew in pitch as the girl landed beside it.

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was

Without another word she dropped from the tree branch she was standing onto the sidewalk below.

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She's standing on top of the branch and moving toward the sidewalk, so it should be "on, onto".

Doing that makes the sentence flow really poorly, so I'd change that part to something like "she dropped down from the tree branch and onto the sidewalk below".

"Ech, you're touching it," Arya made a face at the sight of the mass of blue gel, "It's stain your costume."

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Still got some dialogue capitalization kinks to work out..........This mistake is in each of the next few paragraphs.

Also, should either be "it's staining" or "it'll stain".

"How fascinating," the blond drawled.

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Still gotta remember that you use "blonde" when it's a female noun, and "blond" when its an adjective or a male noun.
(British English also uses "blonde" for adjectives describing a female")

adopted by either a healing type a healing type Ministra

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Delete one of the two copies of "a healing type".

Kneeling on the seat beside her was a giggle Slime Child. A pretty light orange coloration and even smaller than the pink haired girl sitting beside her.

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In the first sentence, change "giggle" to "giggling".

The second sentence is actually a fragment, not a sentence. Perhaps change it to something like "Kneeling on the seat beside the pink haired girl was an even smaller, giggling Slime Child with a pretty, light orange coloration."?

The react was instant, the young slime girl perked up and,

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Change "react" to "reaction", and move the comma to before the word "and" instead of after it.

She ignored her blonde friend's incredulous look.

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Since you don't seem to be using British English, that should be "blond", because it's an adjective here. You incorrectly wrote "blonde friend" again a few paragraphs later.

Arya hissed, "We're supposed to be on patrol to as insurance against criminals and monsters.

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Delete the red word, and yet another instance of that capitalization problem.

She felt a bit guilty in her part in it

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for

where Arya was stand

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standing

Hey, I've noticed a few different places, once or twice per update, were you spell "clothes": "cloths".

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And you didn't notice the many times I've pointed those out already

Chapter 7.2:

the citys existence

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city's

Theirs was an existence that was as omnipresent, the impact of they or their work could be seen every day.

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Delete the red word.

them

It was a rather uncomfortable time to have a the stranger following along.

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Delete one of the two red words.

"I offer no objects if it's fine with you Yulia?" Emmy turned to the final member of the team who nodded.

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"objections", not "objects". Also, comma before "Yulia".

"But when she came in last time she came in she had bags from the pet store up block.

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Delete one of the two copies of "she came in".

Add in the word "the" between "up" and "block".


Chapter 7.3:

While the girls lack the experience with such situations each felt unnerved with the air of the park

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"lacked" instead of "lack", and a comma after "situations".

We're in luck that there is no noone else in this park.

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Fix the red part.

"Actually Miss Àimyrhja. There I am smelling another person in that direction."

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Change the first part to "Actually, Miss Àimyrhja, I am smelling".

"My senses are turned to such things ma'am, I and confident that I can smell

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Change to either "I am" or "and I am".


So I guess Emmy can only use her special powers when she's feeling really intense emotions?

 

[Nolrai2]

How did the man waste their time? Who is he? Did I miss a chapter?

 

[justinkal]

How did the man waste their time? Who is he? Did I miss a chapter?

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I had that reaction too, but then I just assumed that it was a Noodle Incident fetch quest, like they were warned might happen.

 

[dragonx99]

Wow, Legion girl is going full unfeeling robot isn't she?

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Sorry, been out of commission for a bit. A combination of minor physical issues combined with realizing I spent way more than I thought I had before. Things should be sorted out now.

Sadly since todays the last day of november that means even thought I wrote more than 50k words I still didn't complete NaNoWriMo. I'll be working on this story still but at a lesser rate than the 1-3 days rate of before. Probably closer to a week between chapters of 5-8k words long. I have a few other things I need to get back to that I neglected to work for NaNoWriMo.

dragonx99
As for Soixante, she's a Legionette. A group formed from the clones created by the power of The Original, aka The Luminous Maiden. They're psychics in a sense but closer to Espers, they manipulate psychic-like powers and and can detect it. They call it The Light or The Inner Light which is the equivalent of a soul. Even they don't recall their inception, though their doctrine states that they were birthed by The Luminous Maiden's death, as she sacrificed her life her soul shattered and the pieces formed them. They are human themselves despite everything, though they have the ability to give birth Legionettes can only be created by Materialization of The Soul where the group sacrifices a part of themselves to create a new member. Natural birthing is just another human who, while having some psychic ability, is not a Legionette.

Legionettes are born whole, as children, with the knowledge to function in the world but lack experience. Often they are not allowed to leave the church nursery grounds until several months of age to prevent the shocks of experiencing the world all at once. They are part of the a greater mental network, but it is not a Hive Mind in the classical sense, knowledge is shared but not experience. They find comfort in being part of the whole and the warmth of the embrace of having their sisters always in mind. Breaking the connection is not innately fatal but without years of experience to ground themselves as individuals the shock can be instantly deadly.

The young can be told apart quickly from the old as they have yet to develop mentally, often lacking context for their knowledge, complex problem solving skills, and the ability to weight ethics and morality accurately. They also tend to have issues emoting due to their nature. For all their cold attitude many simply are following the foundation of knowledge implanted in them as they lack experience to decide themselves despite their feelings. They're nature also hinders their ability to form facial expressions as for them such things are not unconscious movements.

Edit:
In the event a Legionette dies, they cannot be revived in the traditional sense but their soul is returned to the collective pool of Light they use for forming new Legionettes. They view this as a form of reincarnation, but the method essentially removes them from the cycle of Reincarnation in the traditional sense since their souls are no longer individuals but put in a melting pot to breed new ones.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

justinkal
Thanks again.

 

[Nolrai2]

Wow, Legion girl is going full unfeeling robot isn't she?

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Might be a coping mechanism for working with inexperienced underlings?

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Legionettes Part 2:
Legionettes due to their spiritual connection with each other form a greater soul by combining their individual Light. In the same way a thousand single candles can outshine a bonfire so to can a pooling of the Legionettes do the same. They are formed from the shattered soul of The Luminous Maiden, a girl with a spirit large enough to reseed life on worlds consumed during The Great Cataclysm, and if all Legionettes were to pool their abilities into a single individual they too would achieve such incredible strength. Unfortunately the world does not quite permit such actions, for the bodies of the Legionettes, despite being clones of the original, cannot handle such incredible powers easily. Training is required to increase ones own potential to draw on the strength of the legion, to grasp to far is to dive too deep into the light and be consumed by the flames within. A new legionette is equivilent to a D-ranked Ministra but can pull strength to match middle C-rank shortly without much risk of harm. To pull farther is to toe the line with one's own life, and attempts to reach too far too fast could lead to a Legionette simply crumbling to ash as they are instantly immolated by the light of their collective souls.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Not a story post, I'll be making small posts between actual chapters and chapter parts with bits of things like Ideas or possible future scenes. Sort of omake.

Spoiler: The Cataclysm

The exact time which this event happened is unknown, even by those who had lived through it. This is due to it's dimension and reality spanning nature, and the effects it had on time space through the multiverse. What is known is that it predates Alexandria City which was rebuilt from the remains of the original home town of Alexandria the Hopeful Maiden. The Cataclysm was an event where a creature that exists outside the multiverse, and in fact was of greater size, attempted to consume all realities.

The Cataclysm lasted between 100-500 years, again the ability to discern the exact time is impossible. Uncountable realities were lost, whole universes destroyed such that no evidence still exists to prove they ever were. Towards the end six girls gained great power and defended their worlds, joining forces with each other to launch an attack on the unnamed horror who existed outside the borders of all realities. They were the Six Holy Maidens; The Wrathful Maiden Nezha, The Luminous Maiden Aoife, The Hopeful Maiden Alexandria, The Harmonious Maiden Capriccio, The Heavenly Maiden Reika, and The Eternal Maiden Lucia. With the help of The Four Lords they were able to journey to the creature responsible for the destruction despite knowing no mater the outcome they would never be able to return themselves. They were successful in killing the creature that was consuming the multiverse.

However in it's death throws the creature tore open the boundaries between realities, already weakened from it's centuries long assault, and knock the worlds of The Maidens though the void. The Maidens sacrificed their lives to prevent this final act of spite. Nezha striking the final blow to kill the creature, Aoife breaking apart her soul to send guardians to hold the worlds together, Capriccio fusing the worlds together from the shatter remains, Reika providing a barrier to protect it, and Alexandria and Lucia combining their power to reform the heal the rifts and damage done on time and space.

While their efforts saved countless worlds their own homes were still sent spiraling through the multiverse, colliding with alternate earths. While their home is protected others are not, and so many worlds and people are drawn into it's wake and merge with the earth that hosts The Infinite City.

Spoiler: Ministra Óneiro Cyber Girl Rin Madeon

Newly graduated Ministra, Rin is a transmigrate from a Broken Earth. Her world was one of many that existed close enough to the The Wake that surrounds the earth Alexandria exists on to be effected by it's passing but not close enough to by fully pulled in. Such worlds often end up destroyed, either ripped apart by the wake or crushed under the debre that follows the world, Rin's was no different. Her world was pulled along for some time but slowly broke apart even as ruble from other such unfortunate worlds threatened it. Rin's father forseeing this prior to the event began to build a device to save them but could not find funding by his nations leaders who did not believe his warnings.

Before it was too late he was able to build an arc for Rin and place her in it, linking her brain to the ship's computer. He had planned for a larger one for both him and his wife as well but lacked the resources and time to do so. His daughter was sent forth to into space to survive in the final days of their world. He did not believe she would ever see the world again, instead he wanted to guarantee her some for happiness, crafting a heaven for her to live in. After years the pod was pulled in by Alexandria's wake and eventually crossed over.

Rin's capsule crashed in the city and her body was unfortunately destroyed, though her mind was still saved thanks to it's connection to the ships computer. She now exists in a virtual world of her own creation, though has been given some technology to allow her to "visit" the real world as a hologram.

Spoiler: Future Scene Idea

During the preparation stage before confronting Maoh Mao Lin Emmy takes Yulia aside to provide her with something to compensate for her broken Support Device. Mao Lin had shattered the gem, mocking Yulia for being so reliant on it, and Yulia would not be compensated for a replacement. Emmy decided to provide her with a Philosophers Stone crafted from her own blood which would be several magnitudes of power stronger than her old Support Device.

Yulia comments that the gem is squishy and reminds her of a gummy candy. Emmy, remembering Yulia's reaction to learning that Rus' race was considered a delicacy (dabbing some of Rus' blood from one of her cuts and licking it) immediately warns her not to eat it.

Yulia: W-why would you say it like that? I'm not one of those idiots that needs to read the obvious on a warning label!
Emmy: Of course not, I just wanted to warn you.
Yulia: Good.
Yulia: ... So, hypothetically speaking. What if I did eat it?
Emmy: ... sigh.

Emmy warns her that eating the Gem will give a great boost in casting abilities and even minor access to Thaumcraft, which allows casting without knowing of how to preform a spell by brute force. However the boost is temporary and the Gem is extremely toxic and carcinogenic causing uncontrollable growth of Homunculi Cells. At worse it could cause death in hours or replace the person's vital organs with parasitic Homunculi tissue that drains Magic and disappears without the energy source to feed on. The latter is similarly deadly if not so quickly fatal, and at best would cripple Yulia's magical ability for life. She warns that Thaumcraft is deadly in it's costs, to use it recklessly would cause one to break their own Magic Core and Yulia would only be able to cast 2 spells before dying even with her vast reserves. She then teaches Yulia how to use the Magic Hammer, Emmy's preferred attack for being both simple and effective.

Similarly it comes to light Yulia's special trait of Pure Eyes, a magical ability that allows True Vision granting the user the ability to see something regardless of a certain type obfuscation. Yulia's allows her to see objects regardless of the speed the move at, which had allowed her to see Kagehoshi despite her God Speed and let her see through Mao Lin's Time Fracture. Emmy uses her Thaumcraft to link their eyes, which will allow her to track Mao Lin's movements during the upcoming fight. She explains a bit more about Thaumcraft during the ritual.

During actual fight Emmy is taken down, Yulia knowing she won't stand a chance to win otherwise ingests the stone and uses Thaumcraft to level the playing field. One spell to Mimic Kagehoshi's Godspeed Ability, the second to punch out all the magic in Mao Lin, and then fights in fisticuffs. Neither is willing to back down, with Yulia's martial arts lessons compensating somewhat for Mao Lin's much greater physical abilities. There's a debate between the two of them over Mao Lins actions and how her method of trying to take over the city to make a home for her fleeing vassals. Mao Lin doesn't seem to understand the threat that lays in wait from the City if she goes any further than she already has nor that the city would have mercy for a Demon as her original world was in a constant state of war. Yulia uses Thaumcraft one last time to force understanding on her, delivered by a punch to the face.

Mao Lin collapses from the knowledge of what the city is capable of fielding, the shock of learning that if she does surrender her kingdom will not be either slaughtered or enslaved by the victorious side, and the punch to her chin rattling her brain. Yulia passes out from the exhaustion and wakes up in the hospital several days later.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Character Bios

Ministra Magi Kagehoshi Degozaru
aka Godspeed Girl, Shadow Flash, Shinobi no Kami, Senkōnin

Kagehoshi Degozaru is B-rank 1942 of the Ministra Union. She is a Ninja themed Ministra, often talking with an archaic accent which is what earned her her name. She currently is the Magistra to team Shadow Star in Area 32. Kagehoshi's real name is Shiina Nakane, her given name can be translated as "A dead husk" or "A seed that never sprouts" leading her to preferring her alias.

Syn:
Kagehoshi is a B-ranked Ministra, her number being in the upper level of the lower ranks of the class. Despite this Kagehoshi is hailed as a legend due to her remarkable achievements, namely her mastery of Godspeed. Kagehoshi is the only pureblooded human who was ever able to use the ability without the blessing of a Divine Entity or Greater Spirit of some sort. Physically she is weaker than other practitioners, with a slower maximum speed and unable to maintain it for more than 100th of a second at a time, but she is considered the greatest mortal master of the ability. Her reason given for this is that while others have access to the ability by their blood or by blessings she had trained upon Mount Horai to earn the power by skill alone.

Kagehoshi speaks using odd, often redundant, sentence structures and ends sentences with the word "Zam" in order to sound, as she believes, more like a ninja. Despite trying to mimic the translated speaking patterns of the use of "De Gozaru" in Japanese Kagehoshi actually only speaks English fluently and has trouble with speaking and writing Japanese.

She first became a Ministra at the age of 10 despite her poor health and level of fitness and was taken in as a Ministra under Ala Alba the White Witch who was then a B-rank herself. Alba often encouraged the girl to get stronger despite her limits and introduced her to masters to train her. Alba then told Kagehoshi about Mount Horai, a legendary mountain filled with divine beings where time stands still. Seeing an opportunity Kagehoshi visited the mountain to train and after three years returned having earned Godspeed and becoming a B-ranked Ministra.

Kagehoshi has a younger sister by the name of Seka who is also a Ministra, going by the name of Hanabi Yaredaze. Seka specializes in bomb making.

 

[dragonx99]

Haha, Seka's work name is hilarious to me~ As does her trying to use the japanese stuff when she doesn't speak it *Hypocritical humor is besets humor*

On the other hand, holy fucking shit ZamZam. She is literally coming from the Saitama school of power. I mean, yea not nearly as insane, unless the A class is just concentrated bullshit for its power levels, but she got a literally holy power through the magic of training really fucking hard. Good for you Kagehoshi! Good for you!

 

[TheAkashicTraveller]

Any change of a story only thread so I can tell when actual story updates happen?

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Haha, Seka's work name is hilarious to me~ As does her trying to use the japanese stuff when she doesn't speak it *Hypocritical humor is besets humor*

On the other hand, holy fucking shit ZamZam. She is literally coming from the Saitama school of power. I mean, yea not nearly as insane, unless the A class is just concentrated bullshit for its power levels, but she got a literally holy power through the magic of training really fucking hard. Good for you Kagehoshi! Good for you!

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Kagehoshi's name is Shiina, her sister is Seka. Her speed would normally qualify for A-rank, but Kagehoshi lacks the stamina, durability, and and damage output that would be required to face what A-ranks need to.

A-class is concentrated Bullshit for it's power level. The top 10 contains the following 3 relevant Ministra: Ala Alba, Emmy's older sister, who's power is using nigh infinite magic to bludgeon reality into doing what ever she wants. Aisling, who's power is summoning Exotic Matter that can eradicate anything it touches. ...And Creamy Milk-chan, a girl who can eat as much as she wants and never get fat. If looking for a comparison, It wouldn't be to inaccurate to compare it to Digimon's own evolution levels. Rookie/Child is about D-class, Champion/Adult is about C-class, Ultimate/Perfect is about B-class, and the Mega/Ultimate make up A-rank.

A-ranks are the best of the best, of the best, they are required to be well rounded to prevent any reasonable weakness that could result in them being taken down by some sort of fluke. The bar is set so high that, in the entire history of the city, there has never been more than 108 active at any given time. Basically the weakest stats of any given A-rank must still be better than 99% of B-ranks.

 

[justinkal]

and the Mega/Ultimate make up A-rank.

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Typical megas, or top tier megas such as Millenniummon (can time travel as much as it wants), Alphamon (can spam Quicksaves midbattle, while also stacking all its attacks from each timeline), Omegamon (has a more bullshit version of Worm's 'Path to Victory'), etc?

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

A-Rank Number 2 Ministra Praelia Creamy Milk.
aka Milk-chan, The Unstoppable Ministra, The Annihilating Angel, and the Gluttonous Maiden

Kurimi Miruku is a Ministra who once made a wish upon a star during christmas to be able to eat as much as she wanted. Her wish was granted. She is able to eat as much as she wants and never get fat or become ill from it. She made great use of this ability to travel the world and eat whatever she wanted. This included searching out rare foods in dangerous places, magical fruits, stealing divine dishes, and killing powerful monsters to eat them all. It was thanks to this that Milk-chan became the strongest Ministra currently alive.

Milk is very well known, and despite being Number 2 is considered the Strongest Ministra, even being compared to the original Six Maidens. Her most well known stunt was during the Lunar Fall incident where during the invasion by the Lunarians she was called in and ended the incident by simply destroying the moon above Area 18.

 

[dragonx99]

Did...Did she eat the moon?

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Did...Did she eat the moon?

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No, she's simply very strong. She doesn't have the normal super eater ability, just not getting fat and not getting sick. Her power doesn't have direct combat applications. But a combination of having all that nutrition, eating lots of different power up foods, and fighting the nastiest creatures imaginable to eat rare foods made her stupidly strong.

She didn't eat it, she exploded it using a magic blast.

 

[dragonx99]

No, she's simply very strong. She doesn't have the normal super eater ability, just not getting fat and not getting sick. Her power doesn't have direct combat applications. But a combination of having all that nutrition, eating lots of different power up foods, and fighting the nastiest creatures imaginable to eat rare foods made her stupidly strong.

She didn't eat it, she exploded it using a magic blast.

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Aaaah ok then. Still impressive~

 

[SolipsistSerpent]

I'm really enjoying this story. There's lots of interesting world-building and the characters are all attention-catching.

A couple errors I spotted:
You call the main character Julia twice in the first post.
More recently, you say: ""Yes," Rus continued, "It seems that in the last few months there has been a decrease in Monster activity in the area so the Church wanted to request the aid of some Ministra teams to help. It's a joint operation between the Union and the Church, so until further notice she'll be accompanying us on missions." "

Wouldn't they be more worried about an INcrease than a DEcrease? Both would certainly attract attention, but I feel like they wouldn't need to recruit outside help as much to deal with the latter.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

I'm really enjoying this story. There's lots of interesting world-building and the characters are all attention-catching.

A couple errors I spotted:
You call the main character Julia twice in the first post.
More recently, you say: ""Yes," Rus continued, "It seems that in the last few months there has been a decrease in Monster activity in the area so the Church wanted to request the aid of some Ministra teams to help. It's a joint operation between the Union and the Church, so until further notice she'll be accompanying us on missions." "

Wouldn't they be more worried about an INcrease than a DEcrease? Both would certainly attract attention, but I feel like they wouldn't need to recruit outside help as much to deal with the latter.

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I supposed I could have clarified that a bit more. Any significant change in monster activity is taken seriously by all parties. The general rates and powers of monsters appearing in a district generally very steady, alterations of any sort usually mean something is happening. An unexplained decrease means that there may be something hunting down strays, which would have to be fairly clever or tricky to remain undetected while doing so. An increase could mean that something is drawing in monsters, or creating them whole sale. The city has been around a long time, and know the patterns to recognize if something is about to go down.

Teaming up was seen as efficient, as it allows the Legionette to be able to share information with the Ministra Union easily. It's extra protection for both the Legionette and the Ministra Team. It also helps facilitate cooperation between the two organizations, which on paper are very close but in reality keep each other at arms length. Similarly Soixante is not the only investigator just the one who's been assigned to team Shadow Star, more experienced Legionettes would be capable of working alone.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Hmm, I've written myself into something of a corner. Not so much that I can't continue but rather which way to do so and how to go from there.

In the mean time in order not to further delay things I'll be writing up short extra chapters and pieces which are canon.
Until then, here's a pic I drew while bored.

Tried to get them all in the same style and side by side for comparison. Rus Kaf is of course the tallest, dwarfing the rest. Petra is a bit shorter, her hair never looks like it's been brushed and her normal expression tends to look mildly annoyed and bored. Linen's costume was hard to get right, and to prevent continuity problems I'll say it changes all the time since she makes it herself.

 

[SolipsistSerpent]

Hm... Well, some advice for writing I once heard is that if you're stuck on a piece of your story, work on other pieces and your plans for the future and they'll tell you how it has to go.

It occurs to me that Yulia basically lucked into the best possible teacher for her chosen style. Someone who achieved ridiculous speed through pure training is perfect for teaching her to deliver her extreme magical payload by punching. Yulia doesn't have much in the way of physical advantages (though apparently she does have her eyes) so someone who knows how to build strength out of scratch there is going to be great since her style requires physical ability. Combined with her own exceptional (though not unheard of) magical reserves she might even eventually surpass her trainer.... sometime far in the future anyway, if she can learn to hit as fast but harder. Well 'as fast' might be expecting a bit much.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Hm... Well, some advice for writing I once heard is that if you're stuck on a piece of your story, work on other pieces and your plans for the future and they'll tell you how it has to go.

It occurs to me that Yulia basically lucked into the best possible teacher for her chosen style. Someone who achieved ridiculous speed through pure training is perfect for teaching her to deliver her extreme magical payload by punching. Yulia doesn't have much in the way of physical advantages (though apparently she does have her eyes) so someone who knows how to build strength out of scratch there is going to be great since her style requires physical ability. Combined with her own exceptional (though not unheard of) magical reserves she might even eventually surpass her trainer.... sometime far in the future anyway, if she can learn to hit as fast but harder. Well 'as fast' might be expecting a bit much.

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Spoilery reply:

Spoiler: Spoilery stuff

Kagehoshi would make a great trainer, but is probably the worst Sensei for Yulia, and really anyone who isn't borderline insane when it comes to training. Beyond Lee levels, going into Netero "Spent a decade on top of a mountain constantly punching until I can punch at light speed" levels. This is because her "teaching" is essentially just training until you drop. She can teach combat skills just fine but her natural skill and her ability are not something she can teach a student.

Yulia's "mentor" role is actually meant to eventually be fulfilled by Emmy. She's been hinted at being stronger than she seems, and her strengths are actually very much in line with Yulia's so her style, minus her special ability, are something Yulia can really benefit from learning. The eventual plan was for Yulia, after the fight against the first major villain Maoh Mao-lin, to actually be infected by Homunculus Cells and need to learn under Emmy to keep from having parts of her organs suddenly vanish if she doesn't regulate her mana. That translates to Yulia learning more about magic and magic close combat, eventually even gaining a very watered down version of Emmy's own ability to develope for her self. Said ability is sort of gaining weird new ways to leverage the power of punching things really hard.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Rus Kaf
Ministra Magi Étoile de l'Espée - D-Rank 1

Rus Kaf, or simply just Rus, is a Ministra Magi and currently a member of Team A32-9330282-JRP1 designated "Team Shadow Star" under Magistra Kagehoshi Degozaru (B-1942). Rus' name can be translated into her native language as meaning "Disciple of Kaf (God of Astronomy and Shooting Stars)" or "In Awe of Heaven's Nightly Movement".

Rus cuts a rather handsome figure with very androgynous features making it hard to pin down their gender, though for convenience will be referred to as female.She is about 175cm tall, with a very dark skin tone and long thick midnight blue hair. Her eyebrows are rather large, and the most prominent aspect of her face is her larger than average nose. Her voice is noted to be a deep and slightly rough Contralto. Her costume is an old style fencer wear from her home country, slightly modified. Her main weapon is a Magic Augmentation Device, a Magic Catalyst, in the form of a sabre named "Hoshin Spica".

Rus is not fully human, rather her full ancestry is indeterminable though is assumed to be 3/4 human and 1/4 Lomasi. It is that latter ancestry that is most important. While not a full Lomasi, and a distant enough descendant to not obviously resemble one, she is affected by many of their traits however diluted they may have become. She lacks the telltale black hair and pale skin as well as the soft feminine features though does have some of their inhuman allure, including their odd deliciousness. Unlike most Lomasi descendants Rus lacks the mental and genetic instability that plagues them, being very fit and healthy in both mind and body. She does however require a specified in order to survive, unable to gain nutrition except from meat and needs to consume humanoid meat in order to gain all the nutrition needed for her to remain healthy. Shying away from this diet has harsh consequences, eating even moderate quantities of fruits, grains, or vegetables is enough to make her horribly sick and abstaining from her darker appetites can lead to scurvy like symptoms and possibly death by malnutrition. The final Lomasi trait Rus retains is their rather impressive physical abilities, though is currently lacking in comparison due to both her mixed ancestry and a diet severely lacking in humans. Her diet is being corrected by the Ministra Union, whom provide her with cloned or voluntarily given meals.

She is a Transmigrant from the land of Aluvarna, a desert kingdom on a world caught in the orbit of Alexandria's planet, and came to Alexandria about 4 years ago at the age of 8. Due to her inhuman ancestry her growth and aging is slightly accelerated, though fortunately not as much as a full Lomasi, and ages about 25% faster than a normal human would. Despite this she is both physically and mentally equal to a 16 year old, and often acts far more mature. The purpose of Rus' Transmigration was due to a the authorities learning of her ancestry and razing her home village to wipe out the threat of Lomasi. As such Rus and her sister Rus Urd ("Disciple of Urda the Moon goddess" or "In Awe of The Moons Passage") fled and eventually found their way into Alexandria.

 

[TheAkashicTraveller]

I like the way you've got an arrow pointing to her right hand which says "left handed".

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

I like the way you've got an arrow pointing to her right hand which says "left handed".

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It's mostly me not realizing I was drawing it in her right until after I already drew it in her right. On a left facing profile it looks awkward to hold things in the left hand, and I unconsciously always face characters to the left (it's slightly more easy to draw them that way when you're a righty) so they tend to hold things in they're right hands. It was only after I finished that I remembered I decided she'd be left handed (something about changelings, and being a lefty being a subtle "not human" clue.) I suppose it probably would have made more sense to write "actually left handed". It's something I'll need to remember in future drawing her so I can angle her to the right, I'd actually forgotten that I decided she'd be left handed until you reminded me, thanks.

 

[Master of Squirrel-fu]

Currently planned out Extra Chapters are as follows...

Chapter 1: Just Another Year, What's To Celebrate? (Rus Kaf)
In which Rus' team decides to throw her a birthday party.

Chapter 2: Idol Theory - Reach For The Top! (Arya Avicci)
In which Arya's sister enters her into a Junior Idol Tournament she's hosting.

Chapter 3: Girls' Night (Yulia Atyanas)
In which after an exhausting mission Yulia invites the team to stay over for the night.

Chapter 4: Maguka Mayhem (Midori Green-chan)
A look into the life of a Ministra Christmas Cake and her team of Magical Girl rejects.

Chapter 5: A Blast From The Past! Number 5 Ala Alba Appears! (Kagehoshi Degozaru)
During a Team Mission on Mt. Varona Kagehoshi recalls an old job of her's to exterminate monsters.

Chapter 6: The Invincible Glutton and The Living Delicacy, Rus is in Peril! (Cinque Albrite)
While returning from a mission Rus is abducted by Number 2: Creamy Milk and it's up to Team Shadow Star to rescue their leader.

Chapter 7: Alone Together (Àimyrhja Vwahln Klydhe)
Emmy and Yulia spend their day together, Emmy wants to confess something important but things seem to keep getting in the way.

They may come before or after current events, anachronic order, and I'll write them out whenever in no particular order. Most likely I'll start on Chapter 3, since that was already planned to be a chapter in story. Yulia invites Rus, Arya, and Emmy to sleep over since she's never had one. Character moments galore and a bit of backstory for Rus.

 

[justinkal]

Chapter 7: Alone Together (Àimyrhja Vwahln Klydhe)
Emmy and Yulia spend their day together, Emmy wants to confess something important but things seem to keep getting in the way.

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If anyone else overhears this scene, it's going to completely obliterate any of that person's remaining doubts about their relationship status

 

[SolipsistSerpent]

If anyone else overhears this scene, it's going to completely obliterate any of that person's remaining doubts about their relationship status

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If someone heard that, they'd realize that if they were in a relationship, Emmy wouldn't still have to confess.

 

[justinkal]

If someone heard that, they'd realize that if they were in a relationship, Emmy wouldn't still have to confess.

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Well, yeah, but I meant in regards to the "are they just friends, or are there romantic undertones?" aspect.