On The Bench (AOT/DxD)

ReadingDangerously · Nov 4, 2023

Can you do it again? Can you confront pain, tragedy, heartbreak, betrayal, guilt, and loss? The consequences of your actions? If you've lost it all, can you continue to advance, stepping forward one last time? Can you face a world of cruelty if it means finding the beauty in it? If you can, I'll be waiting on the bench.

********

It was a desolate wasteland.

Towering dunes of sand as far as the eye could see, with only the bright blue of the stars to serve as a light in this cold, lonely world.

No great tree of light towered in the distance, its innumerable branches reaching out in billions of Paths, linking past, present and future together.

There was but one Path in this world of blue radiance. One line of light at the center of the world.

No young girl wandered these dunes, building the bodies of Titans, tens of metres tall, one pail of sand at a time. No Eldian goddess dwelled in this eternal prison, eternally trapped to her bloodline and the power that dwelled inside it.

In this desolate wasteland, all existence was naught but sand and stars.

And a bench.

It wasn't a large bench. Long enough to support three adults if they were close enough to touch.

The bench's design was simplistic, with no extra flourishes or stylized embellishments, but it was well cared for despite clear signs of wear and tear. No splinters or frayed edges, despite signs of weather wear.

Its materials also were nothing special. Made of wood with iron fastenings, it wouldn't look out of place in a public park or on a sidewalk in an upper-class neighbourhood.

The bench, so at odds with the baren world around it, drew the eyes of the sole inhabitant of this wasteland like a moth to a flame. It lay thousands of kilometres away and yet so close. The only thing that existed in the empty world.

Eren Yaeger's tiny feet brought him to that bench.

It didn't matter if his strides were short. He just had to put one foot in front of the other. Step after step.

Eren would reach it so long as he kept moving forward.

It took him years, decades, to travel to that bench in less than a second.

Eren stared at the bench with blank eyes. Its top was eye level with his six-year-old body.

Then he hoisted himself up and sat down.

The view before his eyes shifted.

The sky lightened from dark blue to a clear azure as the endless dunes of the Path were replaced with trees and a well-paved trail. In the distance, he could hear vehicles passing and spy hints of the tops of buildings peeking above the green foliage.

This was no forest, despite the denseness of the trees. This was a park, a slice of wilderness in a world of steel and cement.

It was a cozy little spot, drawing a yawn from Eren's young body.

"This bench is the meeting place," an older, tired voice told the young boy.

"Who am I meeting," Eren asked.

The man remained silent.

"Where is this? When is this?"

"Thirteen years in the future," the man answered the last question but ignored the first.

Eren looked at him then, understanding the importance of that number.

The man slumped, exhausted, against the bench's backrest. He collapsed in on himself as if he could not support the weight of his torso or head. His head rested against the wood, the seat frame supporting him so he could stare at the sky, where white clouds drifted lazily by.

His clothes were in tatters, torn and shredded and covered in blood. Small chunks of flesh were missing from his body, weeping red ichor openly. Slight wafts of steam rose from his injuries, but it was too weak to be really healing the numerous wounds.

The man's body was emaciated, skin sunken over what might have been a muscular form once, now nothing more than a husk.

A walking cane leaned against his legs, a pair of stylized wings the only ornament on an otherwise plain stick.

Grey eyes stared upward at the sky, ringed by deep Shifter Marks. More dotted his face along sunken cheeks like teeth. Still more covered every inch of exposed skin.

He looked weak. Battered. Injured. Sick.

He was minutes from death.

"Why are you smiling," the six-year-old Eren asked his nineteen-year-old self.

The older Eren didn't answer, gazing up at the blue sky with a contented, fulfilled smile on his sallow face.

It didn't matter that he would die in thirteen years. He had already died once.

What mattered was that smile.

The young boy was envious of that smile.

That pure expression of joy was the most hateful and beautiful thing Eren had seen in a long time.

When was the last time he had smiled?

"Can you do it again?"

The question was asked quietly. Softly.

There was a finality, a sense of encroaching doom and resolution in the voice.

Yet the older boy still smiled.

"Why would I?" Eren asked his older self. "I do not know why or how I was reborn in this world. My friends are not here. Historia is not here. Armin is not here. Mikasa is not here. There are no Titans, no Marley. No walls."

"Can you do it again?"

Eren looked up at the azure sky, thinking about the question.

Could he go through it all again?

All the pain, tragedy, heartbreak, betrayal, guilt, and loss?

All the crimes he had committed for which there was no redemption?

Could he repeat it, become the enemy of the world despite knowing what lay at the end?

For one last time, could Eren Yeager, the Devil, dedicate his heart to something?

"I can."

"Then you'll know why I'm smiling."

"I suppose I will," Eren murmured as a nonexistent breeze brushed past the pair sitting on the bench.

"Remember, you only have thirteen years," the older Eren said softly, his voice fading.

As if whatever tiny glowing ember that had kept him going for so long was finally sputtering out.

"Then I should get started," Eren said, standing from his seat.

The trees disappeared with the azure sky as his feet met the sand.

All that remained were the dunes of The Path, the countless stars above and the bench.

And a six-year-old Eren saw it all.

The Path.

The Enemy.

The Walls.

And the cost of it all.

"I see," Eren said, eyes gazing at the future he would build.

"Not yet," his older self corrected with a long, weary sigh of relief. "But you will."

The man on the bench, Eren from thirteen years in the future, died with a smile.

The bench faded from the Path.

Though Eren could see his future memories passed back to him by himself, there were gaps. Holes in a tapestry. Voids of darkness in an otherwise clearly illuminated Path.

He could not see the bench, who he would meet there or when it would be.

He could not see a reason to smile.

But he could see the end.

So Eren walked forward, gathering sand to build.

Even if he did not have a reason to advance now, Eren knew he would one day.

That was enough.

Eren Yeager would continue to push ever forward.

And, on a bench thirteen years away, Eren Yeager died alone with a small, content smile.

********

"Sir, please wake up," Sona Sitri shook the man's shoulder gently but firmly.

"Mm...?" He murmured groggily as he awoke.

"Are you alright, sir?" She asked, stepping away slightly as he grasped his cane tightly and used it as leverage to sit up on the bench.

"Hm?"

"You were crying," she pointed out.

The man raised a hand to his cheeks, feeling the two liquid streams. His hand followed the trail of tears up to the wet bandages that wrapped from the tip of his nose to his forehead.

"Huh," he murmured softly, as if surprised.

"Is everything alright, sir?" Sona asked. "Do you need medical attention? Shall I call an ambulance?"

"No, I am fine," he shook his head as he wiped his cheeks. "A long dream. That is all."

"If you are certain," Sona asked dubiously, eyeing his skinny frame. "What are you doing here this late? Are you a student of Kuoh University?"

This park separated the high school from the university campus, and while not private property per se, it was hardly used by anyone besides Rias' Peerage.

The only reason Sona had even found the blind young man on the bench was because she was patrolling the school grounds.

Well, it was less of a patrol and more of a victory lap.

Her election as student council president might have been an almost forgone conclusion, but it was still another step toward her dream coming true.

It might be prideful to want to inspect her 'spoils of victory,' but she was a devil. She was all about pride.

That inspection had found the young man sleeping on the bench in the park, well inside the wards they had over this park area. Which is why she had approached in the first place.

"No, I am not smart enough for university," he denied with a sigh as he leaned more heavily on his cane. His voice was... off, Sona realized. Dead. Empty. Like all emotion had been drained from him.

"Intelligence is not a requirement for school," Sona insisted, the comment pushing her buttons. "Only a willingness to learn. To claim stupidity as an excuse is nothing but cowardice and laziness. There is no one too stupid to learn. There are only those who refuse to."

There was a beat of silence.

"You're right. Ignorance is no crime," the young man gave a tired nod. "It is only a crime if you refuse to change after learning. Only a genuinely thick blockhead would do that."

For some reason, Sona was sure the young man was talking about himself.

Sona realized she might have said too much.

The man on the bench, blind and weak, definitely had his own circumstances. He probably had a good reason for not going to school. Perhaps he had difficulty with brail, or his goal was something his physical condition prevented.

Either way, if Sona wanted to accomplish her dream of building a school for everyone, she would need to stop passing judgment so quickly.

Especially with how young she realized the man truly was. He was only a few years older than her at most.

Sitting on the opposite side of the bench, Sona looked out through the thick throng of trees. Some hundreds of meters away, hidden from view, was the old clubhouse where Rias lived and met with her Peerage.

"So long as you know that, it is never too late to learn."

"Sometimes it is too late," he rejected firmly. "Too late to travel the world, even if you want to. To visit the poles, a volcano, or a desert. To see the ocean. Sometimes, you don't have the time or the ability anymore."

He sounded so tired.

So worn down by the beatings of the world that all he wanted to do was sleep.

Sona wondered what he had gone through to sound so exhausted despite only being a teenager. It was a voice she had only heard a few times. When her family talked about times before her birth or on the few occasions her aunt spoke of home.

"You never answered my question," Sona pointed out. "If you aren't a part of the university, what are you doing here? You are not part of the high school either, or I would recognize you."

"No, I am not a student at all. I was just passing by when I found this bench. It seemed like the best place for a nap. No memories to bother me." Though he did not smile, the way he spoke made her think that the ability to forget was the greatest gift in the world. "Just the wind, the sky, and the trees. I'm moving into the area. There are no rules against me being here, right?"

"There aren't," Sona answered the question.

Technically speaking, this wasn't school grounds but a public park. There was no rule or law preventing anyone from wandering in. That was why there were benches in the first place.

But there was also a ward around the area that prevented people from coming in or noticing anything from inside. A ward designed to keep the practice of the young Peerages unnoticed by the city's populace.

A ward that might have been bypassed by pure accident by a blind man because it was intent and sight-based. He had no magic, no supernatural power that she could feel, so it may have been purely accidental.

Sona considered having her family servants change the ward to be more complete when a thought entered her head.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," he answered with a tilt of his head in her direction. "Why?"

"Why aren't you in school? Are you transferring in?"

"No, I am not going to school. I haven't for years since... this," he vaguely waived an arm over his body.

"When was the last time you had the chance?" Sona felt a pit in her stomach as he answered.

"In this country? I believe it would be the equivalent of... Elementary?" The way he half asked his answer filled the young heiress with horror.

"Do you know Japanese?" She asked the question desperately, though it didn't come across in her voice. Sona always maintained a professional demeanour when she could.

They had been speaking in English this entire time, which she had no trouble with, thanks to being a devil. Devils had an inherent ability to speak all languages fluently, but that was different for everyone else.

Kuoh was more metropolitan than most parts of Japan and thus had a higher percentage of people who were fluent in the lingua franca of the world. But a blind man should definitely speak the local language.

"I don't."

"What about your family? Are they familiar with the area or Japanese?"

"No family," he shook his head. "No friends. Just me. I'm all alone."

He didn't sound sad. Just a matter of fact.

The sky was blue, fire was hot, and he was alone.

Sona could only stare at the absurd existence before her for a second.

"If you don't speak the language, go to school or have family bringing you here, why are you moving to Kuoh?"

"I am here to meet someone," he shrugged softly.

"Who?"

"Don't know."

"Where then? And when?" Sona asked sternly.

Her wariness against the boy was starting to be replaced with genuine worry. There had to be someone out there who cared for him. He wouldn't have been able to survive otherwise.

"Here, on this bench," he said, patting the wooden seat between them. Then he paused as if searching for the right words. "As for when? I don't know exactly. Within two years. I know that much."

Sona mulled over the situation. Something had to be going on here that she wasn't getting.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

"A hotel nearby until I get a permanent address," he nodded, and the young devil sighed.

That was something, at least.

For a moment, Sona considered offering the young man a place at Kuoh Academy to keep an eye on him. Considering that Sitri and Gremory owned the school, it was well within her power, to say nothing of hypnosis. The gender restriction was to be removed this year to allow the heiress' Peerage to attend with them and widen the pool of potential recruits.

Eventually, Sona shook the thought away.

No, even if the boy wasn't years behind his peers, which he was, Kuoh was simply unequipped to handle a blind student on top of not knowing the local language.

A failing she would address in the future, but one that was relevant now.

Still, letting him go while he was so helpless in a foreign environment did not sit right with her. Rias might be a closet Otaku, but Sona knew that the Japanese were not kind to foreigners as a general rule. It was one of the reasons she was using the pseudonym of Souna Shitori rather than her actual name. Unlike Rias, with her red hair and outrageous... proportions, Sona could pass for Japanese, which made things easier for her.

This boy, on top of being foreign and not speaking the language, was clearly disabled. Sona could hardly think of an appearance more likely to ostracize someone in Japan. Sona might be a devil, but she still had a conscience.

"Are you still there?" The boy asked, his head facing the forest. "You are being quiet."

"I am still here," Sona answered seriously. "I am just trying to think about what to do with you."

"Do with me?" He repeated. Something in his voice made the young heiress hurry to explain.

"It wouldn't be right to let you leave when I can do something to help."

"You do not need to do anything," he insisted with a frown. It was the first show of emotion Sona had seen since waking him up. "I do not need help or a minder. I do not need to be babied."

"I am sure you don't," Sona agreed, though not in a patronizing way. She was well used to dealing with the pride of young men. If nothing else, he had moved to a foreign country alone in his condition. If that didn't speak about his ability, nothing did. "I was just wondering if you would like me to teach you Japanese?"

His frown lessened as he gave it some thought.

"It would be more convenient to be able to talk to people," he admitted grudgingly before suspicion entered his voice. "But why are you offering? You do not know me, and I don't know you. I can't pay you. I can give you nothing but my thanks."

"I want to be a teacher," Sona said resolutely. "One who will accept anyone. If you are willing to learn, then I will teach. As simple as that. Will you let me teach you?"

It would cut into her time as co-owner of the land, King of her Peerage and the new student council president.

But this was a chance.

She didn't know his circumstances, his goals, his history, or even his name. He was blind, claimed to be stupid, and was missing a decade of education. He also had a stubborn streak, a clear measure of pride, or he wouldn't be out here all alone.

Teaching him would be incredibly challenging.

But that was precisely why she wanted to teach him.

Sona Sitri did not dream of being a normal teacher.

Sona Sitri dreamt of a school for everyone. Her school would not discriminate on age, ability, race, status, or creed. Her dream school only had one requirement.

All who were willing to learn would be taught.

No exceptions.

It was a dream that flew in the face of thousands of years of tradition, a complete rebellion against her society and how the world worked.

It was a dream that only a handful supported and billions derided.

But it was Sona's dream.

One she would accomplish no matter what.

This blind, sick boy would be her first student.

First, she would teach him Japanese, then catch him up to his age group. Her job would only be done when he aced the entrance exam to the university.

If he was willing to learn.

"A teacher that accepts everyone, huh," he said softly. "That's an admirable goal. A good dream."

"I am dedicating everything to achieving it," Sona declared passionately, even if her voice remained as serious as ever.

For a long moment, neither said anything.

"I will be a terrible student. I am no one special. I have no talent or genius. Things others grasp after one try will take me ten."

"It doesn't matter if it takes a hundred. A good teacher never gives up on their students. So long as you put forth the effort to learn, I will never abandon you."

"That's all I've ever been good for," he said. Another hint of emotion. Derision. "Blindly putting forth an effort, no matter the consequences. I suppose I will have to one more time."

"Then here is your first lesson," Sona said with a smile as she stood from the bench. "In Japan, when giving greetings, you are supposed to bow and address your teachers with the suffix 'sensei.' My name is Shitori Souna. Last name, then first name. You can call me Shitori-sensei when I am teaching."

While she taught him, she would look into him. There was no way he was all alone. Someone had to care for him, care that he was here. Maybe not family, but at least friends? Maybe whoever he was supposed to meet here.

He couldn't be all alone.

Nobody was born alone in the world.

"You'll have to forgive the lack of a bow," the young man said as he slowly rose to his feet, leaning heavily on his cane and holding out his hand to shake. "I am afraid I will not be able to get back up again. It is nice to meet you, Souna. My name is Eren. Yaeger Eren, if we go by this country's customs. I will be the worst student you will ever have."

Sona stepped in front of the young man who had faced the wrong direction and shook his hand.

"I will be the judge of that."

And so, a devil shook hands with The Devil.

It was the first meeting on the bench.

********

So... what the hell is this?

For those of you coming to this story from my other work, Rapturous Rhapsody, you will guess this is the surprise I was hinting at. I fully intend to keep my promise to finish that story, and I will only work on one story at a time. But, between volumes 2 and 3 of RR, when I intended to edit that work, I had this idea and decided to write it out to get it out of my head. But then I kept writing. And kept writing. And kept writing.

In the three weeks between the epilogue of Volume 2 and the start of Volume 3, I wrote 60k words of this fic. Though it is all unedited and will thus be released weekly on Tuesdays as I edit, I wrote enough that from today, I have enough chapters to last till the end of RR and, therefore, can solely focus on it till it's done, and I will shift to this one. Chapters will be short, between 2.5k and 4k on average.

So what is 'On the Bench?'

It's a short story (probably not going to pass the 150k mark (so short by my standards)) that acts as a continuation of Attack on Titan. Yes, this means it is entirely cannon-compliant. Even the parts you don't like. I will repeat it again. I will be sticking as close to canon as I physically can. I started this story partly to give myself a form of closure.

I liked and didn't like the ending of AOT. It was the ending the story needed and was building up to, but I did wish for more of a happy ending. So this is my effort to give myself that in the only way I can.

On the Bench is also an experiment. I think I have improved with character writing over the years, and I want to push my boundaries a bit. More specifically, in tone and themes. Can I convey two diametrically opposed tones, like AOT and DxD, while remaining true to the characters AND telling a decent story? We'll see.

This is not going to be an action-focused fic. I am not reinventing the wheel or attempting anything as ambitious as RR.

This is me examining and playing with some of my favourite characters. I hope you will enjoy it, and I will see you on Tuesday for chapter two of On The Bench.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 7, 2023

"Suspicious," Rias Gremory muttered to herself as she peeked from behind a tree.

"I think it's cute," Akeno disagreed, also peeking.

"Suspicious," Rias corrected her queen with a pout, pulling away from the trunk of her hiding place. "My rival is so close to some random boy. It is suspicious."

"Of course, my liege," Akeno sighed exaggeratedly, but there was a fond look in her eyes as she teased her friend. "As you say, he is most suspicious."

"Don't patronize me," Rias huffed, crossing her arms. "What did you find out?"

"That Sona did her due diligence," Akeno answered, pulling a folder from nowhere. "I did not even need to contact the Gremory servants. I just asked Tsubaki for a copy of what the Sitri had found."

"Akeno!" Rias whispered/shouted. "This is a secret mission! You weren't supposed to tell anyone. We're finally in Japan, and you're Japanese. You don't leave loose ends when your lord gives you a task. It is the basics of being a ninja."

"Good thing I'm not a ninja then," Akeno snarked. Rias pouted, crossing her arms. Sometimes, her queen enjoyed ruining her fun way too much. "So you don't want to know what I found out?"

"Fine," Rias sighed. "Who is this Eren Yaeger?"

"A child soldier."

The playful banter left the pair as Rias blinked wide-eyed at her friend as if wondering if she was joking.

Akeno wasn't, mouth set into a thin line as she opened the folder and read through it again.

"The earliest records the Sitri agents found were from an orphanage in Mandoto, Madagascar. Apparently, he was left on the steps of the local church in a basket, his name written on the basket. It is not a local name, European obviously, so there was some confusion early on. The nearest guess is that some foreigners left him in as far away place as they could find."

"That's terrible," Rias frowned at the thought. The devil race's birthrate was so abysmal that the idea of abandoning children was almost anathema to them. Even if devils didn't make the best parents. "You said he was left at a church? Any connection we should be worried about?"

"None," Akeno reported, flipping through files to double-check. "It looks like it was just the most reliable place to leave him. Old human tradition and law. As far as the Sitri could tell, he's never set foot on church soil since, except in infrequent and specific circumstances."

"So he grew up in Madagascar in an orphanage," Rias asked, peeking around the tree trunk to watch the young man they were talking about try and repeat a word Sona sounded out to him.

His attempts were so bad that Language didn't even count it as an actual word. Only her knowledge of Japanese outside their racial ability allowed Rias to try and guess what he was trying to say.

It was either 'a lot' or 'Mister Octopus.'

Rias was betting on the former.

"Till he was six," Akeno confirmed. "He attended a few years of elementary there, but then a local warlord came recruiting for fighting on mainland Africa, taking advantage of the political instability of the time. Orphanages were prime targets for child soldiers. Expendable troops. Those that couldn't, or wouldn't, fight were put to work."

Rias grimaced, not liking where this was going. It was unbecoming of a devil, but she always had a soft spot for lost and hurt children. She might not have been able to completely heal her dear Peerage after their... troubled youth, but Rias liked to think she had given them the best she could.

A home.

A family.

But those she had managed to help, thanks to her family and brother, were pitiful in number compared to those children hurt in this cruel world.

"The record is spotty from there," Akeno continued, voice laced with sympathy. "The warlord who took him was dead within the year. As far as we can tell, records are spotty, so there was a lot of hearsay. He spent the next few years fighting for various factions off and on all over Africa. Not for a cause or one specific leader but as a gun for hire. A good one, too. He became something of a local legend. There are still rumours about a 'child of evil' even today."

"That doesn't sound encouraging," Rias muttered, wondering what sort of trouble Sona had gotten herself into with this student of hers.

"It was more about fear than actual evil, near as the Sitri could tell. They weren't able to find any notorious deeds committed off the battlefield. No looting, theft, or violence against civilians outside combat. On the battlefield, it was a different story. Anytime he was part of an army for any length of time, the opposing faction was quickly routed. He had a reputation for being merciless. It left an impression on any survivors or locals."

"Magic? Sacred Gear?" Rias couldn't help but ask, hope surging through her.

"No," Akeno shook her head, staring at the folder's pages in fascination. "Just skill, cunning and bravery that borders on suicidal tendencies. If even a tenth of the stories about him are true, not counting impossible rumours, then he was good. Scary good. Some of these tactics... Anyway, he built a reputation. One that attracted the attention of some high-level people. Warlords and criminals, certainly, but also a few military dictators or generals of countries. It's actually where the records become more reliable. Recruiters were sent, and most were turned away."

"Most, but not all."

"Eventually, he accepted an offer from a mercenary agency based out of western Asia, close to the Middle East. Smaller than other mercenary outfits, but with a decent reputation internationally."

"Anybody I would have heard about?"

"No," Akeno answered, looking over a list of names. "Barely a few dozen members, all human, and none magical. They accepted all sorts of ethnicities, from Chinese to European or American, but they were new and small. The Sitri agents think he joined to climb the ranks quickly rather than stay low-level in larger and more established organizations."

"Did he?" Rias asked eagerly, caught up in the story.

It was like something out of a manga or anime.

Eren Yaeger's Bizarre Adventure? No, wrong genre.

Yaeger Chronicles? That had a nice ring to it.

"He was recruited at the age of twelve," Akeno smiled at her king, well-knowing the redhead's habits. "By thirteen, he was leading them. By the time he retired six months ago, he had led over two hundred missions and never failed once. His nickname, Child of Evil, is still well known in certain circles. It was how the Sitri found out about his origin, by backtracking it."

Rias clenched her fist in excitement.

Devils were trained in combat from an early age. The actual battle aspect of child soldiers was nothing new to her. It had been the mental aspect she had been most concerned about. While she had initially been worried when learning he was a child soldier, hearing about how he had overcome adversity and risen to the top was thrilling.

This was just like an anime.

The tragic backstory, the mysterious circumstances, arriving at a school and running into a devil heiress. Rias swore she would rub Sona's face in it if he had a childhood friend he had loved but left behind.

Anime was totally real.

Man, coming to Japan was the best thing to ever happen to her.

"Why'd he retire?" Rias asked, praying to the Satans that it was to 'live a normal life.' Or better yet, to 'fulfill a promise to get married.' Or as an 'undercover mission.'

"He's dying," Akeno grimaced, taking the wind out of Rias' sails.

"Oh."

"According to medical reports, his body has slowly been shutting down for years. Some genetic disease the doctors who tested him, some of the best money can buy, haven't been able to identify. It was first caught and noted three years ago, leading to a slight weakening of the muscles, but he could still operate without issues until last year. Once it got bad enough to limit his movement, he was forced to retire from fieldwork. He stuck around for a bit but eventually left his group. At some point between then and arriving in Kuoh, he lost his eyesight as well. The doctors estimated he only has a few years left."

"Oh," Rias said again, feeling down. "Why is he in Kuoh then? Why not go back to Africa? Or retire to some beach house to be tended to by servants? He must have made some good money."

"He did return to Madagascar and a few other places. He had purchased plane tickets for New York, London, and quite several other large cities. Maybe touring the world before... Anyway, he landed in Kuoh, checked into his hotel, and wandered around briefly. Being blind and without magic, he accidentally bypassed our wards, found a bench in the sun and then met Sona."

"He's been here for weeks, though? When is he planning on leaving?"

"He originally only bought three nights in his hotel and then had a flight booked for Rio De Janeiro. Instead of making that flight, he extended his stay at the hotel for a week and, in that time, bought a house only a few blocks away. A lot of bribery was involved. Then, he donated most of his money to charities. Orphanages, international relief efforts, that kind of thing. His banking records show he left himself enough money to live out another two years comfortably, three if he's thrifty."

"He doesn't expect to live past that time," Rias sighed, melancholy heavy in her voice.

She, who would measure her lifespan in thousands of years unless killed, could not relate to someone with only a few years left. But she could sympathize and regret the loss of life gone too soon.

"He claims to Sona that he is expecting to meet someone here but does not identify who or when they will meet, only that it will be within two years," Akeno said as she closed the folder.

Both young women, only sixteen, had come to the same conclusion the Sitri agents had.

The 'meeting' was with death.

Eren Yaeger was no spy from an enemy faction who came to Kuoh for a malicious plot against the two devil heiresses.

Eren Yaeger had been looking for a place to die.

He had found one in Kuoh.

If nothing happened.

"Sona's scouting him for her peerage," Rias told her friend, peeking once more at her rival and the dying young man.

"Most likely," Akeno agreed, also looking at the pair again. "I think she did an initial cursory background check, found out the basics and contacted her family for more in-depth information once she had the idea. He's the type of recruit she likes. More skill than power. Plenty of experience. Someone she can get to know before making the offer."

"But," Rias almost said before holding her tongue.

Akeno would know the problem as well as she did, probably even better than Rias.

Being resurrected as a devil provided some healing, but it was not a cure-all. Wounds would heal, especially if they were recent, but a person's physical condition would remain the same. No sudden muscle gain or genetic alterations besides the transformation into a devil. It was how Adjuka Beelzebub managed to retain the genetic advantages of the other races when they were transformed into devils.

If Eren Yaeger became a devil, he would be weak.

With considerable effort, his muscles could be trained up to par again. Still, his eyes would forever be weaker than others, and the underlying genetic disease that had caused his current condition would permanently hobble his growth potential, already limited due to a lack of magic or Sacred Gear.

Devils always struggled with healing methods, their magic wholly unsuited to the task. Their race's only method, besides medicine similar to humans, was sharing demonic energy through skin-to-skin contact to accelerate their regeneration. Even Phenex Tears only healed wounds, not diseases. Otherwise, sleeping sickness would not still plague their race.

"I hope she decides to make the offer," Akeno admitted to her king as they watched Eren try and fail to conjugate a verb for the third time. "And he accepts. Like I said. It's cute."

How much was pity, and how much was her best friend seeing some of herself in the young man? The heiress didn't know.

Rias' heart went out to the man, it truly did, but each high-class devil only had so many Evil Pieces, and trading was rare outside of families.

Sona would be permanently giving up a valuable piece for a member without magic, sacred gear, or a unique heritage. It would put her at a permanent disadvantage compared to all her peers.

And Sona, with her radical dream, needed all the advantages she could get.

A stinging pain let Rias know she was clenching her fists too tightly as she watched Sona compliment Eren on getting an answer right.

The worst part, Rias realized as turbulent emotions coiled in her gut, was that if this had been only five years ago, Rias would have reincarnated Eren Yaeger without a second thought.

Just as she had Yuuto or Gasper.

She hadn't known anything about their abilities or sacred gears at the time. All she knew was that children had died in front of her, and she could help. It was only the luck the Gremory were famous for that meant she hadn't wasted some of her Evil Pieces on weak humans.

But now...

Now, Rias Gremory's kindness was being sacrificed for her freedom.

********

Eren Yaeger was waiting to die, and Rias couldn't help him.

So why was she here?

"Souna?" He asked, looking in her direction but slightly off to the side. "I thought we were done for the day. Didn't you have a meeting?"

"I am not Souna," Rias said, taking a deep breath and using Sona's alias. It was too late to back out now. "My name is Rias Gremory, a friend of Souna's."

Eren's hand tightened around his cane, and he pushed himself up straighter on the bench, his face turning slightly towards her direction but still slightly off.

"What do you want, friend of Souna?" His tone wasn't rude, but definitely wary.

Given his history, Rias imagined he did not have good memories of being surprised.

"I just wanted to meet you," Rias said in a soothing tone, well used to dealing with hurt children. That he was older didn't matter. "Souna's spoken about you a lot."

She hadn't, but he didn't need to know that.

If it weren't for the fact that the bench he always sat on was close to Rias' club room, the Gremory Heiress might have never known about the young man her rival met every second day for tutoring.

As she talked, Rias took a step forward, then stopped. Then another step, then she stopped again. Each step was made deliberately loud enough for him to hear but slow enough not to spook him.

"No, she hasn't," Eren called out her lie directly. "Souna doesn't gossip."

For someone who had only known the Sitri heiress for a few weeks, he certainly had a good grasp on her character.

No wonder Sona liked him so much. He was sharp.

"Sorry," Rias apologized as she paused her steady advance. "I've seen you two talking and wanted to meet you. Souna's my childhood friend. I got curious."

It was like dealing with Akeno all over again. Wary, defensive, and ready to lash out at the first sign of danger.

But unlike Akeno, she couldn't help him.

Why was she here, alone and long after everyone had left the school?

Eren Yeager did not say anything, still facing her general direction, but his grip on his cane did slacken somewhat.

Rias took the chance to take the last step towards the bench, sitting as far from him as possible to give him room.

It was incredibly uncomfortable, and she didn't understand how he could spend days on end on the thing in his condition. After observing him for a few days through her familiar, she knew he arrived here well before sunrise and left long after sunset. Occasionally, he would wander back to his newly purchased house for food and other needs, but he spent as much time as possible on this uncomfortable wooden bench.

Maybe she was here just because of curiosity? That had to be it.

"How is learning Japanese?" Rias asked, trying to defuse the tension a little bit. "It's hard, isn't it? It took me years, but I didn't have Souna helping."

Just copious amount of Anime, Manga, Akeno and the best tutors her parents could buy.

For a second, the devil thought the young man would continue to remain silent, 'staring' at her until she left.

"It's hard," he finally agreed, body sagging against the bench as the tension and strength left him. "It's really hard. So many rules, similar-sounding words, and ways of speaking. I don't think I will ever get it right. I am wasting my time."

Rias was about to commiserate but paused. Her problems had stemmed mainly from the writing system, all three of them, and trying to parse them out without Language. A problem a blind human would not be able to sympathize with.

"Your English is really good, though," she pointed out instead. "Is it your first language? I don't recognize your accent."

"Fifth," Eren shrugged. "I just picked it up along the way."

There were hundreds of languages in Africa, Rias knew from her studies, not counting dialects. English, French, and Portuguese were more widely used due to its colonial past, but they were not completely ubiquitous.

"If you can learn five languages, then a sixth shouldn't be a problem," Rias tried to encourage him. She knew from experience that positive reinforcement was needed more than anything else.

"Twelfth," the young man corrected her. He couldn't see it, but Rias looked at him in shock. He was seventeen and already spoke eleven languages? His appointment as leader of his mercenary group made much more sense now. "But I had... advantages then that I don't here. It's a lot harder than I thought."

Right.

His blindness was recent, wasn't it?

The pit in Rias' stomach, the one that had been there since she had heard about his past from Akeno, reared its head again.

"If..." Rias started saying, her voice halting and hesitating. What was she doing? Why was she here? "Hypothetically, if there was a way to get your sight back, would you take it?"

This was stupid.

So monumentally stupid.

Yet the words left her mouth anyway.

"Why are you asking?" Eren's voice was wary once more. Rias realized her words were quite rude, if not a little mean.

"I don't mean anything by it," she waved her hands in front of her before remembering he couldn't see them and folding them in her lap. "Just a little question, is all. I'm the president of the Occult Research Club at the school and always ask questions like that. What ifs, stories, magic, stuff like that. It's fascinating, isn't it?"

It was also an excellent cover for her Peerage.

"I guess," he sounded anything but fascinated, and Rias continued to ramble.

Despite being an heiress, she was still just a sixteen-year-old girl. While she was used to dealing with hurt children, Rias actually had no experience with trying to recruit someone to her Peerage. They tended to fall into her lap by accident or her brother's machinations, thanks to the Gremory luck. Trying to make an offer she shouldn't be making while remaining discreet was something new to her.

"Sorry, is that a strange thing to ask? My family has this whole thing for making deals with the devil," Rias babbled nervously. She usually could maintain much better composure, but the subject, the guilt, and the intensity of Eren's focus were throwing her off. "Comes from our name. Gremory? Like the demon? Anyway, I just think it's an interesting idea. So would you take a deal to get your sight back? If you had the option, I mean."

Eren seemed to think on it for a long, uncomfortable moment as Rias did her best not to squirm.

"It would depend on the deal, I guess," he finally said, and the redhead breathed a sigh of relief as he turned his head away.

He hadn't been actually looking at her, he couldn't, but the weight of his focus had been enough to throw her off.

Imagining if he still had his eyes and was in his physical prime, and Rias could see how he had made such a reputation despite being so young.

"What if all it would cost is service to the one that healed you?" Rias asked. "Like an employee or a servant. Something like that."

"No."

The answer was immediate and instinctual, with no hesitation at all.

"I will never sell my freedom," Eren Yeager bit out. "Not for any reason."

"Not even if the devil completely healed you?" Rias asked again. "Not just your eyes?"

"Not for anything."

"What about if the devil was a good one?" Rias continued to press. "One that treated their servants like family, not slaves. There can be good devils too, right? Or do you not like devils at all." As she said the words, Rias realized she had become too into the question and revealed too much. "Hypothetically, of course."

"Race has nothing to do with it," Eren sighed. "Anyone who tries to take my freedom is my enemy. Whether they are the same race as me or not."

"Even if they are a good devil trying to help you?"

Rias didn't know why she pressed so hard.

Why was she almost desperate for him to give her an answer she could use to justify offering him a place among her Peerage?

She still had all eight pawns. One fewer in exchange for a man with his experience wasn't a bad tradeoff, right?

Even as she tried to convince herself, Rias knew the answer.

It wasn't a bad tradeoff at all.

For anyone but her.

For anyone whose enemy wasn't a Phoenix.

Tactics could not win against immortality.

Perhaps Eren heard the almost pleading tone in her voice because his tone softened.

"My friend once explained to me... Well, he was talking to someone else, but I was there," the young man relaxed against the bench again, turning from her and tilting his head to the sky as his voice took on a tone of longing. "When someone is a good person, it just seems to mean someone who's good for you. Nobody's good to everyone. So if someone doesn't help me, they're a bad person. So, if a good devil exists and they try and take my freedom, they are automatically a bad devil. No matter what they give me or how they treat me afterwards."

"I see," Rias sighed, sagging against the bench in turn. "Your friend sounds smart."

"He was that smartest man I know." The sadness in his voice, as well as the past tense when Eren spoke about this friend, told Rias all she needed to know. "If he was the one here, he wouldn't be in this mess. He'd have some genius idea none of us could think of and save the day. A real hero, that's what he was. Not a fake hero or a devil like me."

Rias appreciated the irony of him calling himself a devil next to an actual devil but didn't say anything. He probably thought his actions as a mercenary were enough to condemn him, but Rias knew and loved people with more blood on their hands than he could ever have.

"Souna reminds me of him a lot," Eren continued. "It's almost scary. He was always trying to beat things into my head, too. I think they would have gotten along."

"I don't think I could handle two Sounas, though I know someone who would love that idea," Rias smiled at the thought of Serafall Leviathan passing out at the sight of two Sonas.

"You don't have to worry about her," Eren sighed. "I really have no plans or schemes towards anyone here. I am just here to meet someone. After that, I'll be gone for good."

Rias knew Eren Yeager was waiting to die.

Knew she shouldn't, couldn't do anything to save him.

Ultimately, Rias didn't know if she would have made the offer if Eren had said he wanted it.

She liked to think she would have.

But Rias Gremory was also not the type of girl who would leave someone to their pain alone.

Even if it only meant giving a lonely, dying boy someone to talk to while he waited for death.

"I'll always worry about Souna," Rias smiled, relaxing against the uncomfortable bench. "That's what childhood friends are for. Do you have any?" His head's tilt and his shoulders' relaxation told her the answer. "Is one of them a girl!? Did you promise to marry her!?"

Eren Yeager might be waiting for death, but Rias would be damned if she didn't make his remaining time enjoyable.

And if his stories lined up with anime, well... That was just proof that anime was real.

Suck it, Akeno!

********

This fic will move along at a good clip, so don't expect long, drawn-out affairs like in RR. It is a slice of life, in a way, but it is one that tries to only focus on the key moments. A lot will go unsaid, and I will continue to play with unreliable narrators, so much of it will be up to reader interpretation. I hope this method will prove interesting, but we will see.

I will see you all next week for the regular chapter release of On The Bench every Tuesday.

PS: For those following Rhapturous Rhapsody, no fear. I will still release my regular chapters every Friday.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 12, 2023

"That will finish our lesson for the day," Sona said as she put away her notepads. She used it to keep track of where Eren was, as well as to mark what needed to be reviewed at what time.

Education was about practice. Not just memorization but application.

Even if Eren memorized every word, they wouldn't do him any good if he never used them.

"I must confess, I am impressed. You are in no way the abysmal student you said you would be. You must be putting in considerable effort when I am not here."

"When I can," Eren nodded slowly. He still spoke in that odd, almost dead way, but Sona was glad to see him emoting more. "Rias helps. She reads to me occasionally. Hearing the language consistently helps, and her translations are very good."

"Oh," Sona did her best to keep the annoyance out of her voice. She wasn't pleased with her rival interfering with her student, even if most of her ire had faded over the past weeks. "That's nice. What are you reading? I can make a few recommendations. Traditional literature is very important in Japanese education."

"I do not know all the names," Eren said. "I think they are children's stories. Short novels for young readers. Some are interesting."

"I see." Sona had to give Rias props. Choosing works targeting younger readers that were still interesting enough to engage a man of Eren's age and experience took some serious forethought. Maybe her rival had a talent for teaching as well? "Any that stood out?"

If nothing else, her future school's library should be well stocked.

"My favourite was... 'Suzumiya Haruhi no Bozo?'"

"Suzumiya Haruhi no Bousou," Sona corrected his pronunciation with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose under her glasses. She had read those books years ago at Rias' urging.

Of course, Rias would be reading light novels to Eren.

Sona didn't know why she expected anything different.

"You know it?" Eren asked.

"I've read the series before, yes," Sona sighed.

She had read those books and dozens of other light novels over the years at Rias' urging. The perils of having a Japanophile as a best friend. Eventually, the Gremory turned to manga and anime more than the written versions, and Sona became more focused on building her dream. Occasionally, Rias would make recommendations that Sona did read when she had the time, but there was no need to tell Eren all that. More important was fostering that engagement with the subject of study.

"Why did that one stand out?"

"I could sympathize," Eren frowned. Sona frowned in turn. Eren wasn't very expressive most of the time. She hadn't seen him smile even once. For him to respond strongly enough for it to show on his face was peculiar. "Trapped in time... Repeating the same days over and over again... It's a hell I would not wish on anyone."

"I suppose it wouldn't be enjoyable to be trapped," Sona hedged, trying to dredge up her memories of the story. It was rare for Eren to get interested in something so light novel or not. She should try and keep him talking. That was a crucial part of teaching. "But doesn't that story end with them free? If you could control it, it would be an incredible boon. The ability to do it all again, correct your mistakes, do everything perfectly in one go, and keep trying until everything is just right. I would like that. I am something of a perfectionist."

"You're wrong." His voice was steel, unbending and inflexible. "Everyone thinks it's great, but it's not. It's terrible. Even if you could control it. Because there is no perfect answer. There never is. People fight. People disagree. They hate, and they discriminate. We are all just big bundles of hypocrisy. Even if you have a million tries, there will never be a world where everything turns out perfectly. So you try, and you try, over and over again, but something is always lost. A price is always paid. But you won't want to pay it, so you try again. A never-ending hell of your own making."

Sona didn't know what to say to that. Clearly, the story resonated much more strongly with Eren than it had with her if he had given it so much thought.

For the last few months, she had been meeting with him three or four times a week on this bench, and the most emotion she had gotten out of him had been occasional bouts of frustration regarding some facet of the vocabulary or conjugation he was struggling with.

Besides the occasional derogatory remark at his own expense, Eren never talked about himself or expressed interest in hobbies.

In fact, it seemed like he was learning Japanese more out of a desire to have something to do rather than any genuine interest.

This was the first time she had ever seen him get passionate about anything.

Part of her resented that it had been Rias' dumb light novel that had him so engaged.

"And then," Eren continued, his voice impassioned. His words were practically spat out, bitter and vitriolic. This was also the most Sona had ever heard him speak without prompting. "You give up. You can't go on forever. No one can. When you realize there is no perfect plan, no way for everyone to be happy and safe, you make a choice. The choice of what matters most to you. The few things you are willing to sacrifice everything for. And when the time comes to pay that price, all you can do is laugh. Laugh because even if it wasn't you who pulled the trigger, you know your choices caused this. You know you could have chosen a different path. You knew what the cost would be. You saw it coming a thousand thousand times. But you paid it anyway. The bullet wasn't yours, but the kill was. So you laugh and cry because it is all your fault."

It didn't take a genius to understand what Eren was getting at.

They weren't talking about a time loop in a book anymore.

It was just a metaphor for making hard decisions.

Sona had read his file and knew of his past. His time leading his mercenary company had been consistently successful and without any known casualties on his side. But it hadn't always been like that.

He had been a child once.

A child on dozens of battlefields. Even if he was a genius, he would have made mistakes. Mistakes that would have cost people their lives.

Was it civilians that haunted him?

His comrades?

Or was it children like him, those thrust into a war not their own and gunned down because they were not as lucky as him?

Maybe he had to make that call.

To sacrifice the few for the many.

Maybe he sent someone to their death, knowing what would happen and knowing it was needed.

No matter the reason, it was clear that Eren Yeager was not so unaffected by his past as he liked to portray. That it was a dumb light novel that was the catalyst was irrelevant. What was important was that he was talking.

Sona gave him time to calm down, huffing and puffing as he was from his tirade. It also gave her time to organize her thoughts.

"Sorry," Eren said softly once he controlled his breathing after a minute of silence.

"It is alright," Sona answered just as softly, then hesitated. "Do you... wish to talk about it?"

Sona was not good with these kinds of things. She excelled at providing structure. Rules and a procedure. Handling emotional and traumatized people was more up Rias's alley than hers.

But, after a few months of tutoring the young man, she did regard Eren as a student and a friendly acquaintance. They certainly kept secrets from each other, but that was to be expected, given their positions.

But that didn't change the fact that she regarded the young man as almost a friend. If nothing else, Sona could listen. This wasn't therapy, but if she could help, she wanted to.

"I don't know." He sounded lost, the passion gone. It was like even he was confused about why he said all that. "I don't... Most people wouldn't get it and talking... Talking can't change the past. Can't change what I've done."

"I might not get it," Sona admitted, being honest. Yes, life as an heiress to a prominent devil house had its fair share of combat, but it also hadn't put her in such a nebulous position as she knew he had been. She had never had to make a call like that. "But I am here. I can listen."

Sona decided to make a bold move and laid her hand on his.

She had done some reading on blind people after meeting Eren, and many of her books spoke about the importance of the other senses to those deprived of sight.

It wasn't anything like superpowers portrayed in media. It was a simple application of practice. They worked those senses much harder than most people and thus got more out of it. It was a simple state of sensitivity.

They were more aware of everything their other senses conveyed.

Sona had taken that to heart in her interactions with Eren. She refrained from loud bursts of noise, used a spell to tone down the effect of her light perfume, and always respected his personal space by sitting at the other end of the bench.

This was the first time she had touched him since their first meeting.

There was no sudden flash of sparks, pounding of hearts, or great revelation. It was just Sona reassuring Eren that she was there. That he wasn't alone.

Though his hand was very warm.

And then she let go, hand returning to her lap.

For over five minutes, they sat on that bench in silence, the spring wind blowing through the leaves of the trees.

"I was a soldier," Eren finally said, his voice distant. "Always wanted to be one. Partly out of anger, partly to fight for something instead of just living life waiting to die like cattle. Joined up the first chance I had. I wasn't the only one. They each had their own reasons, but others joined at the same time. Only a handful of those who made it through training survived the first year of duty. We went through so much. So many died. For me. Because of me. Because they entrusted their hearts to a cause greater than themselves."

Eren rubbed his hair in frustration as if the memories angered him. As he did, the thick bandages over his eyes shifted slightly for a second to give Sona a glimpse of his eyeline.

Small indents were regularly marked along his skin, too regular to be scars. Remnants from surgery? To try and fix his eyes?

She only had a second to look, but Sona now understood why Eren wore those thick bandages instead of just a blindfold. She could only imagine how much harder life would be for him here in Japan if people could see those scars.

Either way, if Sona wanted Eren to continue to open up, she needed to keep him going.

"Were you close?"

There was another beat of silence as Eren let his hand fall to the bench, the other tightening around his cane. His face stared upward to a sky he couldn't see, and for a second, Sona feared she had overstepped.

Then he spoke, voice heavy with a melange of emotions she couldn't hope to unravel but knew none were good.

"We were. We all were. We were all we had. All that remained. I cared more about them than anyone else. More than the whole world."

Sona just listened. This was the first time Eren had ever shared anything about his past, even after months spent together. In some strange way, it warmed Sona's heart. She wasn't the only one who considered the other a friend.

"So many died because of me. Most I didn't know well. Some I did. But one of them... Sasha was... special. Always hungry. Always eating, even when we didn't have a lot. She got in so much trouble. But there was no one like her. We could always count on her to have our backs and cheer us up. Right before our first battle, she managed to snag some meat from the higher-ups. We weren't starved, but meat was a luxury we hadn't had in years. She could have gotten in serious trouble. But instead of hiding it, she wanted to share it with us. One of the rare times she did. More often, she would try and eat everything before anyone else had a chance."

Sounded like Koneko, Sona thought with a slight smile at the fondness in Eren's voice.

"I think." His voice hitched. "I think she wanted to encourage us in her own way. We were going to split up the next day and possibly die, and she didn't want our last memories together before we left to be sad ones."

"She sounds like a wonderful woman. I would have loved to meet her."

"You would have hated her," Eren snorted in derision, the closest thing to laughter she had ever heard from him. "Sasha was way too chaotic for you. In our first training session, she started eating a potato during the roll call. And when the instructor took her to task, she tried to bribe him with half. The smaller half. I honestly didn't think he would ever let her stop running."

He lapsed into silence again, caught up in a memory.

"What happened?" Sona asked gently, her hand brushing against his just the slightest amount to remind him of her presence.

"I killed her."

Sona had expected it from his earlier words, but she also knew it was bound to be more complicated than that.

"I made the plan, knowing she would die. I hoped, prayed, and tried desperately to think of another way to do it, but I couldn't find one. I went through the motions for so long, hoping another option would show itself. But nothing did. And Sasha died. She wasn't the only one. So many more died because of me. But she was the one that hurt the most."

There was another long silence, and Sona noticed he had a white-knuckled grip on his cane, and his teeth were clenched.

"Her last word was 'Meat.' It was such an absurd thing to say, so... Sasha, that I couldn't help but laugh. From start to end, she was still the same girl who offered her comrades a piece of meat when they could die the next day. And I killed her."

"Did you love her?" Sona asked. There was no accusation in her voice.

"I did," Eren admitted as if saying it was confessing a sin. "I told you. I loved them all. I chose them over the entire world. Sasha. Connie. Historia... Even horse face." Sona didn't comment on the unique way he had said the third name and the pause that came after. Nor did she say anything about the... creative nickname for the last. "They were comrades. Friends. Family. I think I even loved Captain Levy and Hange in some small way. We were all that remained. You don't spend so long with people and not care for them. There were others. Daz. Floch. Even Samuel, who was on the wall that day with Sasha. I cared for them all. But..."

"But?"

"But I loved others more," Eren sighed, and it was like all the fight left him with that release of air. "And they would all have died if I didn't make a plan. And who knows how many of the others I cared about would have died without that plan. By killing Sasha, I got the last pieces I needed. Both of them, all for the price of one bullet. So I went through with it, knowing she and others would die, all because of me. All the while desperately hoping that I was wrong. That there was a perfect plan. A way to not lose anyone. But there is no perfect plan. So I killed Sasha and laughed and cried."

Sona could have said a lot of things then.

She could have tried to reassure him that he didn't have a choice, that his actions had been the right ones. She could have pointed out that the cold calculation he had done, the logical path he had followed, had been the right one. That lives had been saved because of his actions.

Sona didn't know if any of that was true. All she had to go on was a few pages in a file and what Eren told her.

Sona Sitri was not Rias Gremory. She was not the warm, almost dotting woman who would welcome a lost child into her family just because she could.

Sona Sitri was a young woman of logic. A dreamer with a plan.

And, as she thought this to herself, Sona realized something else.

She... probably would have done the same as Eren in that situation.

Of course, she loved her peerage. They were her friends, the closest thing to family she had besides her own. They looked up to her, trusted her judgement and leadership, and believed in her dream. In return, Sona wanted to do everything in her power to support them as well.

If something like what Eren described happened, she would have searched high and low and used every possible resource available to her, even those of a less savoury nature, to see them safely. She would have even given up her own life for them.

But...

If there truly was no other way...

Sona realized she would have made the same call as Eren. She would have sacrificed one of her friends to save the others.

At the end of the day, Sona Sitri would have sacrificed those she couldn't save to ensure the survival of those she could. It was a cold logic but one she could follow.

So Sona could not give Eren the encouraging yet empty platitudes that others could because she would have made the same call.

All Sona Sitri could give Eren was her hand over his, reminding him she was there as they sat silently on the bench.

********

ReadingDangerously, WTF is this? I thought On The Bench was released on Tuesdays?

Well, my imaginary reader, the reception I received was so overwhelming that I was super motivated to edit the next chapter and get it out early. From now on, OTB will release Sundays and Tuesdays until we run out of chapters. That means I will run out before RR is done, which will remain my priority till it finishes, but I figured I might have time to write a few more chapters between now and then.

I will see you all Tuesday.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 14, 2023

"What is wrong?" Akeno asked as she set the cup of tea before her King.

"We're going to the underworld for the summer," Rias said as if that explained everything.

Which it didn't.

"I am aware," Akeno nodded and set another cup down for Kiba, who thanked her and took her seat on the club room couch. Koneko was nibbling on some cookies beside her, her middle school uniform getting covered in crumbs that the Queen got rid of with a wave of her hand. "I know things are tense with your parents, but seeing them again should still be nice. It has been a year."

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I guess it will," Rias answered distractedly as she bit her lower lip, deep in thought.

"Are you worried about our contracts?" Akeno asked, trying to puzzle out what had the young woman so distracted. "I have already alerted my regulars to the disruption in service."

"I did as well," Kiba nodded with a smile at Akeno as he put his tea down to chime in.

"...Me too."

"No, no," Rias hurried to waive her hands in dismissal. "I trust you all to be responsible. I have also talked with Gasper, and he's prepared for the trip. It's not you all I am worried about."

So she was worried about someone but not one of her Peerage? The only other people in the school she knew well were Sona and her Peerage, and Akeno doubted there was anything to be worried about there.

Which left...

"Are you afraid to leave your boyfriend alone for so long," Akeno teased her best friend.

"Akeno! It's not like that," Rias protested.

"So you say. But you and Sona do spend so much time with him. Rivals of love, ah... what a scandalous master I have," Akeno kept up, delighting in the way Rias' face started to match her hair.

Akeno's... preferences and proclivities were no secret among the Peerage, and she could drop the Yamato Nadeshiko act in the safety of the club room.

Her words weren't solely to tease Rias either.

The idea of two devil heiresses fighting over an injured, weak human tickled her romantic sense. And the concept of Rias coming in and trying to steal a man from her rival, like a seductive mistress, was in line with Akeno's fetishes.

"Eren is a friend," Rias insisted with a pout as she crossed her arms. "A good one. He doesn't know anything about me, or the supernatural, or the Gremory. There is nothing romantic about it. He doesn't even know what I look like."

"Just because he can't see you doesn't mean you can't show him what you look like," Akeno chirped happily, and Rias tilted her head in confusion at her Queen's words. Taking a cue from the videos she had been watching, Akeno lowered her voice into a sensual purr as she ran a hand down her body. "You just have to get... hands-on. Physical."

"Akeno!"

"Fufufufu," the seductive act fell away as the young woman giggled, a hand covering her mouth, as her King gaped at her, face flushed with embarrassment.

"But you are worried about him, right?" Kiba asked his floundering King, aware that the two young women would continue for hours if he let them to it.

He and Koneko had never officially met the older boy but had been told about him. They had also read his file and occasionally saw him on his bench when they moved through the park behind their club building.

"Both me and Sona will be gone for weeks," Rias took the opportunity to shift the topic away from an embarrassing subject. "He'll be completely alone."

"He will be fine," Akeno tried to reassure her King, giving up her teasing for the moment. "Despite his condition, he is very competent. And the wards will protect him while he's on the grounds."

"I know that," Rias said with a huff. "I'm leaving my familiar behind just in case, but he should be safe."

"Then what are you worried about?"

"He'll be bored!" Rias answered as if it was obvious. "Without Sona or me, he's going to be lonely. I've been trying to figure out what to leave behind to help him."

"Sona will leave behind study material for him," Akeno pointed out.

If there was one thing they could trust the Sitri to do, it was to give her 'special student' summer homework.

"But that's boring," Rias whined. "Sona needs to let him have fun, too. I just can't decide what to leave him. Definitely a few drama CDs, but which ones? And should I leave an anime behind? Just because he can't see it doesn't mean he can't enjoy it. We haven't started one yet. I've been hesitating, but do you think he'd like to listen to one, or is it too soon?"

"And this is what has you chewing on your pen?" Kiba asked, his ordinarily suave smile slightly pained.

"Of course," Rias said with pride. "There are a lot of things to consider when making recommendations. It can't be anything war-related, obviously. But Eren doesn't like just slice of life either. It needs to be able to catch his interest. It also cannot be something wholly new that we haven't gone through together, or he won't understand it. Context matters a lot in enjoying anime. He's still learning Japanese, which leaves only a few options that will interest him but are at a low enough level to not hurt his head."

Akeno smiled as her King went through the listing of Drama CDs she had already chosen. Why and how it was not nearly enough to cover all the time they would be gone for, and how she wanted him to have options if some of her listings didn't click with him.

She suspected Eren didn't care for manga or light novels as much as Rias did and just put up with them for Rias' sake.

If nothing else, she was happy that Eren Yeager was here for Rias. The heiress needed someone like him in her life. Someone who didn't see her as a King, heiress, source of influence, or potential rival for power and prestige.

Someone who saw her as Rias Gremory, not Rias of the Gremory.

Which made his inevitable death all the sadder.

********

"Who are you?" Eren asked as she took a seat on the bench.

How he could spend all day on the uncomfortable thing, Akeno had no idea.

"Himejima Akeno," she answered politely. "A pleasure to meet you."

"What do you want, Himejima Akeno?"

"I am here to talk to you as Rias Gremory's best friend," Akeno kept her voice unfailingly polite despite Eren's rough words. She didn't hold it against him. The situation hadn't been the same, but she had been where he was before. Distrustful and suspicious of everyone who approached. "You might not believe me-"

"Rias has mentioned you," Eren cut her off. "I was asking why you were here now. You should be in class."

Akeno bit her tongue before the caustic remark could escape at his rudeness.

She had to remind herself that despite knowing about him for months and seeing him a dozen or so times, this was the first time they had officially met. All he would know of her was from whatever Rias told him, but he had never met her.

"I needed to speak with you," Akeno said instead, her voice still gentle, kind, and polite. "Thank you for worrying, but my grades will not suffer from one missed class."

Eren's lips quirked down for an instant, his hand briefly tightening on his cane, but he remained silent, letting her explain herself.

"As I said," Akeno said gently. "I am here because of Rias. We will be leaving for the summer, returning home to see her family."

"I know," Eren repeated, his empty hand gesturing toward a bag leaning against his feet. "She and Souna told me. Gave me all this stuff this morning before class since they're leaving this afternoon. We've already said goodbye, so if that is all..."

"I'm afraid it isn't. I won't take too much of your time, I promise." Once again, Eren's hand twitched on his cane. Once more, he kept silent, and Akeno continued to the main subject. "I wish to enquire about your plans for Rias."

"What do you mean?" Eren asked, fully frowning in her general direction now.

"I simply wish to ask what your intentions are for her. And Souna, but I am mostly here for Rias."

"Is this you telling me to stay away from her? That she's too good for me?" Eren sarcastically asked, completely unimpressed.

"No, no, I don't intend anything like that," Akeno hurried to say while staying polite. "I am happy that you are friends with them. Truly, I am. I would not wish to deprive them of you, nor you of them."

"Then what?" Eren's voice was even harsher now, as if fed up with talking to her. Akeno paused, trying to think of a way to say it delicately. Eren caught her hesitation and didn't let it slide. "Spit it out."

"Your dying," Akeno whispered gently, politely, and regretfully.

Eren didn't react negatively to her words as she feared. He just tilted his head slightly to the side in a minute gesture as if asking her, 'So what?'

"It obvious to those who saw you a few months ago and see you now," Akeno kept her voice soft and kind. She was genuinely sympathetic for the boy despite his abrasive tone toward her. "Despite spending so much time in the sun, you've gotten paler. You must have lost at least ten pounds. You walk slower. And it has only been half a year since you first arrived. You can't have long left."

"I'll die at nineteen."

It was said so casually and matter-of-factly that a shiver ran down Akeno's spine.

There was no bitterness in his voice.

No resignation.

Eren was just stating a fact.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Eren frowned at her again. "It's not your fault. And there is nothing you can do. There is no cure money can buy. We all die. I've already lived a lot longer than I should have."

"Still, it's not fair fo-"

"Life's not fair," Eren cut her off again. "It's never fair. It is as cruel as it is beautiful. Only children and naive idiots don't recognize that."

"But you're so young," Akeno tried to say, but Eren continued speaking over her.

"It is not about the length of our lives. It is about the amount of living we do in them. And I've lived enough for two lifetimes."

The devil-fallen hybrid was getting sick of being interrupted, but she contained her annoyance.

She was the one who had come to see him and brought up such a personal topic, after all.

"While that is an admirable and mature way to view things," Akeno kept her polite and gentle tone despite her frustration. "As I mentioned, I am here for Rias. And she will not see things that way. She is a very caring girl and has never lost anyone. I just worry that..."

This time, the reincarnated devil trailed off instead of being interrupted, letting Eren fill in the blanks.

"That I am going to break her heart when I die," Eren said plainly.

"Yes," Akeno said regretfully.

She did feel bad for the boy. He had never asked for any of this. His past may be filled with violence, but it didn't seem like he had done anything to deserve to die so young.

On top of that, she knew she was being a bit unreasonable, asking him to put Rias' happiness above his own when they had only known each other for half a year.

In some small way, she was also grateful for him.

Not only was he a friend Rias' needed, but he also turned down the opportunity unknowingly to be reincarnated as a devil.

Rias could not afford to have a weak peerage, not with so much on the line. Her reincarnating a sick and dying boy, with no magic or sacred gear, out of pity might make her parents decide to push the marriage ahead, despite the promise to wait until she was in university. And even if it didn't, with her dreams regarding the Rating Games, Eren would forever be a chain around her neck.

As it was, Akeno still wasn't sure Rias would let him pass on peacefully.

That was what she was truly worried about.

That the redhead, unable to handle the loss of her friend, would try and bring him back. It would not only cost her a piece she couldn't afford to lose, but there was every probability that Eren would resent Rias for it.

It would be acceptable, if slightly regrettable, if Rias wasted a valuable Evil Piece to save a friend whose only contribution to the team was combat experience.

It would be a tragedy if that friend came to hate her for it.

Already, the Gremory and Sitri agents were combing the globe for any magical or mundane solution to Eren's disease, and they had only known him for a few months.

Akeno no did not want their friendship, so sweet and enviable, to be tainted by regret and hatred.

"I am not asking you to stop seeing them, or stop being friends with them, or even to stop coming here," Akeno explained gently. "I just ask that you do not tell them when it is time. You can leave a message, a will, or anything, and I'd be happy to pass it along after... afterwards. I just don't want them to have to watch you die. It is a terrible thing to see someone you are close to die in front of you."

Perhaps Eren heard the way her voice hitched, her mask of prim and proper composure lifting slightly as memories of her mother's murder flashed before her mind.

His face eased from his frown for the first time since she sat down.

"You don't have to worry about that." His voice softened as he leaned back against the bench and turned his head skyward. "I doubt we will still be friends then."

"You do not know Rias as well as I do. She is a very greedy girl. I have never seen her let anyone go once she latches on."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does-"

"I will die alone."

Another shiver ran down Akeno's spine at the absolute certainty in his voice.

If the earlier statement had been a prediction, then this was a prophecy.

Akeno felt a deep sadness well up in her as she realized what it meant. How he knew exactly when he would die.

What he would do.

Eren Yeager would die alone, and nothing anyone said would change his mind.

In his own terrible way, he'd control how he died.

Akeno did not have the right to criticize how someone chose their end.

"I understand," Akeno said gently as she rose from her seat. "I will not bother you anymore. Goodbye."

Eren grunted in dismissal.

That was the final straw.

Akeno had bothered him, yes, but she had also been polite, kind, and gentle. She hadn't asked him anything onerous or insulting. She had done everything in her power to be as unobtrusive as possible.

And in return?

She had been rudely questioned, been cut off repeatedly, and now, instead of simply saying goodbye, he was trying to dismiss her with a grunt?

She could have accepted his refusal. She could accept his scorn. She could even accept his resentment for her unreasonable demand. Akeno had prepared herself for that when she approached.

But she could not accept blatant disregard.

Himejima Akeno might pretend to be a prime and proper Yamato Nadeshiko, the ideal Japanese demure beauty, but deep down, she was rotten to her core.

He wanted her gone?

Too bad for him.

"Oh, one final thing, if you don't mind," Akeno said sweetly as she retook her seat on the uncomfortable bench.

"What?" Eren asked bluntly, obviously put out by her return.

"I just wish to ask if you have some issues with me? You have been quite rude since I arrived." Though Eren couldn't see the smile directed his way, any observer would have noticed it was not a kind one.

"I don't like you."

"May I ask why?" A bit surprised at his bluntness, Akeno was genuinely curious about the source of his dislike.

Had Rias pranked her by telling bad stories about her to the man?

"Your damn voice is pissing me off."

"My... voice?" Akeno asked in confusion, not put off by his swearing. "I am afraid I cannot help the voice I was born with. And I admit, I have been told I have a lovely singing voice before, so I do not know what aggravates you."

"It's so fake!" Eren snarled. The outburst of anger reared its head from almost nowhere as his hands tightened on his cane in frustration. "So damn fake! It's pissing me off! Too damn polite, too damn nice. Just say what you really feel, damn it! Swear if you want to swear. Insult me if you want to. Scream if you want to scream. Just stop trying to be someone you are not!"

Stunned by his short rant, Akeno said nothing for a few seconds.

"What did Rias tell you about me?" She was soooo getting back at her King for this.

"She didn't have to," Eren bit out. "I knew someone like you. For years, she pretended to be someone she wasn't, trying to be liked by everyone. I couldn't stand her then, but at least I could avoid her. You came to me. And I am too old to put up with it again. I don't care how you act around others, but if you want to talk to me, you better leave that fake shit behind. Or I am going to punch you."

The idea of Eren Yeager, blind and sickly human, trying to punch her, a devil-fallen hybrid that could kill him with a twitch of the finger, was so absurd that Akeno couldn't help herself.

"Fufufufu," Akeno giggled. "If you can hit me, I will reward you." The way her voice dipped low hinted at the nature of the reward. "I am usually an S, but I always wanted to try being an M."

As she teased him, she went over their short conversation in their head.

He had been wary at first but hadn't been hostile until she deliberately tried to be gentle and polite, knowing what she was asking would be rude. It wasn't politeness or kindness that bothered him. Sona spoke formally as well, and Rias was almost entirely too kind.

In only three sentences, without ever seeing her, Eren Yeager had understood Akeno Himejima better than most of her peers ever did.

No wonder Sona was so intrigued.

Rather than blush, fidget, or continue to be angry, Eren simply sagged against the bench in relief.

"Much better," he sighed.

Akeno blinked owlishly at the boy.

Sure, he couldn't see her, but her voice was sensual enough that he should have gotten the hint. Either he didn't care for women, had more experience than she expected, or...

Once more, the sadness and sympathy welled up within Akeno.

She supposed it was too much to expect a boy, even one at that age, going through what he was to not have hormonal issues.

"I wasn't lying about being concerned for Rias," Akeno diverted the topic back from less... sensitive grounds as quickly as possible. "It would be best if we could find a cure for what you are going through. Then my worries will be pointless."

Whoops.

She hadn't meant to let the fact that they were even looking for a cure slip out.

As far as Akeno knew, Eren had yet to learn of the resources Sona and Rias could call to hand. To him, they were just helpful young women, his friends who sat and talked with him.

She also didn't want to give him false hope. Devils were famously bad at healing magic.

"There is no cure." Eren thankfully didn't seem to catch on to the hint as he spoke with indifference about his impending doom. "I was born with a time limit. I will not live to see twenty. I do not regret living my life. It was necessary. Now I am just waiting for the meeting I was promised."

"That is... a mature way to look at it," Akeno hedged, her voice less polite and more dissatisfied. It was fine to look at one's mortality philosophically, but he was casual about it that it angered her. Eren shot her a look, lost under the bandages, but the frown was back, so she spoke her thoughts directly. "But death is not just about the dead. It is about those left behind. Souna will miss you. Rias will miss you. You should not belittle their care."

"You lost someone."

It was not a question.

The light note of sympathy in his voice and her knowledge of his own experiences gave Akeno the push she needed to share a bit more than she would usually.

"My mother. She was killed when I was a girl. Rias' family took me in after they found me."

"Losing a parent is..." Eren was clearly searching for the right words but came up blank.

"Yeah..." Akeno sighed, not blaming his silence.

It was unfair to expect Eren, who never knew his parents, to be able to understand what she had felt when her mother had been murdered before her eyes.

Because of her.

Because Akeno Himejima's birth had been a mistake.

The conversation lulled, both teens on the bench caught up in their memories.

In the end, since she was already missing class, Akeno decided to use the time to get to know Eren better before leaving with the rest of the Peerage this afternoon.

"Tell me about the girl?"

"Hm?"

"The one I remind you of. The one you don't like."

"I didn't like her," Eren corrected softly, the rage gone and leaving the void it had once filled. "By the end... she was probably the third closest person to me."

"Oho," Akeno tittered. "How close? Did you ever..."

"...No," Eren said simply. So much was packed into that short word that Akeno decided to not push.

So far, this conversation had not gone her way at all. She got the feeling most of her usual tactics to get under people's skin would not work on Eren Yeager.

Akeno did always enjoy a challenge.

"Do you want to help me play a little joke on Rias?" She asked, trying to talk about a less dour topic. If asking questions wouldn't get her answers, she would have to evaluate how he handled himself in other situations.

Just because it didn't look like Eren had a funny bone in his body didn't mean he couldn't help.

Maybe this would even get him to smile.

One way or another, Akeno would break the older boy's calm.

"On Rias," he asked. Akeno nodded, realized what she was doing, and answered in the affirmative instead. "I don't mind. The last time I played a prank was... Training?"

He trailed off as if asking himself a question. Akeno filed that away and kept going.

"You know Rias thinks you're an anime protagonist, right? When we return, you just need to say a few words to her."

Eren tilted his head in confusion, looking in her direction. That he was facing slightly to her left didn't bother Akeno as she slowly wove her prank on her best friend.

It would be over a month before it paid off, but it would be worth it.

By the time she explained her idea and gave him his lines, it was almost time for her to meet with the rest of the Gremory Peerage to head to the underworld.

"You are a worse person than I thought," Eren sighed as she stood up.

"It won't hurt her," Akeno assured. "She'll love it... after a while."

"You know her more than I do," Eren gave an ambivalent shrug. "I do have a question."

"Of course."

"What is 'anime?'"

Akeno blinked owlishly at the boy, unable to understand how one could spend months being friends with Rias Gremory without knowing what anime was.

Then again, hadn't Rias just said she was hesitating about introducing Eren to one? Had she never even mentioned it to not burden Eren with knowledge of what he was missing?

Had Akeno just, unknowingly, blundered through her King's well-intentioned consideration?

And more importantly...

How do you explain anime to the blind?

With difficulty, Akeno realized in the following hour as she tried to explain a visual medium to the blind boy on the bench.

********

As I mentioned in the first chapter, part of this story is me trying to experiment with tone.

AOT is pretty much the poster child for PTSD, angst, and trauma, but DxD is the complete opposite. A head-empty, no thoughts, only OPPAI kind of world, even in its darker moments.

One is a serious take on humanity, and the other is as close to a crack fic you can get while still getting published.

I try to lighten the AOT moments and give weight to the DxD moments to give On The Bench a blend that is both, yet neither. I think I am doing all right, but feedback is always appreciated.

Either way, I will be waiting on Sunday for you all On The Bench.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 19, 2023

"Eren! We're back!" Rias cheerfully greeted her friend as she sat on the uncomfortable bench.

"Rias," Eren nodded at her but tilted his head in question in his usual expressionless manner. Sometimes, he reminded her so much of Koneko that Rias decided that waiting for her Rook to enter high school was entirely too long before introducing the two. "Who else is with you?"

"I am here as well," Sona said as she approached at a much more sedate pace. She slightly adjusted her glasses, making them glint ominously as she glared at her rival. Rias stuck her tongue out at the student council president. Sona chose to be the bigger woman... metaphorically.

Either she'd hit her growth spurt and gain her sister's... assets, or she wouldn't and would grow up to be a beauty like her aunt.

Either way, Sona didn't need to compete on such a base level.

Or so she told herself.

"I trust your summer was enjoyable. What progress have you made with the lesson discs I left for you?"

Rather than let Eren answer the boring question, Rias started speaking again.

"I also brought Akeno." "Hello." "She asked me to introduce you."

"Good afternoon," Eren nodded in the direction Akeno had spoken from and tried to greet her in Japanese. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

The pronunciation was correct, but the accent was off. Still, it was enough to get Sona to congratulate him.

"I see you have been practicing," she nodded with evident approval. "Now that you have the syllabary order down and some basic vocabulary, we will work on sentence structure and conjugation while increasing your word pool. By the end of the year, I want to be able to practice with some simple test conversations."

"But you don't have to worry about it right now," Rias hurried to add, sending a light glare of her own at Sona. "Akeno is fluent in English like us."

"Thank you," Eren nodded at them both.

Or at least tried to.

Instead of nodding at Rias and Sona, he faced Akeno and a nearby tree.

"Have you been out here all day," Rias asked, a note of worry in her voice as she looked around the wooded park, just now realizing how hot the August afternoon really was. For a devil, it wasn't a significant concern. But for Eren? "Should we head into the shade? I brought a picnic."

Kuoh didn't get as hot as some parts of Japan, but leaving someone to sit in the sun for hours on end was in no way safe. The tree leaves blocked a lot of the direct glare, but Eren was already sickly. Rias was worried about heat stroke.

"I am fine," Eren shook his head in denial. "Heat doesn't bother me."

"You're burning up," Rias insisted as she hurried to grab his hand not holding his cane. "Come on, my club is near here. You can cool off inside."

"Don't worry," he said as he lightly shook off her hand. "I run a few degrees hotter than most."

"It's true," Sona agreed. "He felt warm even months ago, and it was spring." Rias gave her rival another glare as Akeno looked at the Sitri in delight. "Ah, I just mean when I touched him, it was warm. Just his hands." Sona lightly flushed and fidgeted under the Gremory's glower and Akeno's widening smile. "But I do think the park furniture could do with an update. I will discuss it at the school's next budget meeting." It was a transparent ploy to change the subject, and everyone knew it. "We should be able to replace all the benches with more mod-"

"No."

Eren's one word stopped Sona's voice in her tracks.

"Excuse me?" Sona said with a frown. She wasn't one to tolerate people being rude.

Just because this was the first time Eren had done so didn't mean she would allow it to slide. The boy wasn't what she would consider polite, nor was he outright rude.

He was just... rough around the edges, unaware of the social niceties due to his upbringing.

Sona willfully ignored the fact that even if Eren knew how to be polite, he would still choose not to be unless it was someone he respected.

"Not this bench," Eren insisted, not cowed in any way by Sona's harsh tone. "If you want to change the others, go right ahead. Not this one."

"Why?" Rias asked instead of Sona. "It's really uncomfortable, the spot isn't good, and you're exposed to the elements. I've seen you sit out here in the rain. You can't keep doing that in your condition, even with an umbrella. Winter is coming, too. We even get snow here in Kuoh. We can replace the bench with a full sitting booth. There'd be more room, and you'd be safer."

"Not this bench," Eren repeated, stressing every word. He would not be budged on the subject. "It's comfortable to me, and the elements don't bother me as much as other people. I've dealt with worse."

"Why is this bench special?" Sona asked, trying to get why he was being so obstinate about a bench, of all things.

"It is important to me," Eren said, and none of the young women there were happy with that answer. But then he continued. "I met you here on it, didn't I?"

"Oh," Rias said softly, her face flushing softly as she twiddled with a strand of her hair.

"I suppose," Sona coughed and cleared her throat as she looked everywhere but at Eren, pretending as if her own cheeks were not pinking. "If we simply installed a retractable covering and maybe a heater for winter, it would accomplish the same goals. It is not as if Kuoh is hurting for funds."

This sentimentality from Eren was utterly new, but it was... nice.

Akeno watched it all in undisguised glee.

So cute.

But the best was yet to come if Eren remembered the plan she had proposed before the break.

Thankfully, he did.

"Since you are both here, I was hoping I could ask you a favour," Eren said in silence after Sona's words.

His voice was as without inflection as it usually was, but this was the first time he had asked for anything, so both young women paid close attention.

"If it is within our power," Sona hedged gently, knowing not to make any promises before hearing all the details.

"We'll do it." Rias, of course, didn't have such worries with her friends. "And Akeno will help."

"If I can," the queen said gently, hiding her smile behind her hand as her eyes lit up with mischief.

"I am looking for two girls. They should live in the area and are a few years younger than me."

"What are their names?" Sona frowned.

If they lived here, there was a good chance they were Kuoh students, in which case she would know them. But it wasn't guaranteed. Their school had stringent admission requirements, so they might have gone to a different school in the area.

"I don't know their names," Eren admitted with a shrug, his voice still plain and without inflection. As if talking about the weather. "I met them when they were younger. I was only ten, and they never gave me their names. I only recently found out they lived in Kuoh."

"So, they moved here?" Rias asked, and Eren nodded. That would narrow it down considerably. "Can you give us any hint or description we can work with? And why are you looking for them?"

"You shouldn't have trouble finding them," Eren shrugged. His voice was bland, almost deadpan. "They were cute when I met them. I imagine they are only more beautiful now." Both Rias and Sona frowned but let him talk. "One of them had bright blue eyes and crimson hair, so she should stand out in a crowd." Rias froze. "The other had black hair, so it will be slightly harder. But her eyes were the most beautiful amethyst you will ever see, and she wore glasses." Sona froze. "I promised to marry them when we got older, but I doubt they remember me. Still, I have to try."

Silence.

Absolute silence filled the little park path after Eren's declaration.

Then Akeno broke.

"Ahahahahaha," she laughed uproariously, doubling over to hold her stomach in an entirely unladylike fashion. If any students had been around to see her mad burst of laughter, her reputation as a Yamato Nadeshiko would have disappeared overnight. "Your faces! Ahahahaha! Oh, Satans! Your faces!"

"A.KE.NO!" Rias bit out through clenched teeth. Her face was so red it almost eclipsed her hair. Part of it was anger, but a larger part was absolute mortification.

"Rias." Sona, by contrast, was cold in her anger. "Deal with her. Ten thousand spankings. Don't hold back."

"Ufufufufu," Akeno lewdly giggled. "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Rias lunged at her queen, who danced out of the way with more giggles.

As the pair ran through the park, laughing and growling in turn, Sona took Rias' vacant seat on the bench. Her face was still flushed, which Eren thankfully could not see, and her heart was racing.

"That was quite cruel," Sona said harshly as she calmed herself down.

"It was Akeno's idea," Eren explained plainly, utterly unperturbed by either her tone or the joke. "She visited before you left for the summer and asked for my help with a prank. I am guessing the two women she talked about were you two?"

"We can be described as such, yes," Sona coughed gently into her fist, cheeks flushing again at the memory. "In case you were curious, Rias is the one with red hair. I am the one... the other."

Dammit Akeno!

Sona cursed inwardly. Talking to Eren had never been awkward before, but even now, she couldn't help the slight stutter in her voice.

"Do not be too hard on her," Eren sighed softly as if reading her thoughts.

"I shall be," Sona denied simply. "This is far from the first time she has pulled something like this. Rias lets her get away with too much. And do not think I have forgotten your part in this little joke. If you have such free time to go along with frivolities that toy with a young maiden's heart, then you have time for twice the homework. I shall revise our lesson plans."

"If you wish," her first student nodded, unbothered by her threat.

Something about the way he was handling this unnerved the young heiress.

"Why did you go along with her?" Sona asked, genuinely curious why the usually serious boy decided to go along with something so whimsical.

"I thought it was a good idea." Eren couldn't see it, but Sona frowned at him. She did not understand how playing with her feelings was a good idea.

"I fail to see how it is so. The joke was in poor taste."

Eren paused for a moment, then he seemed to slump slightly, and his following words came out not in his usual monotone but in a nostalgic, almost regretful tone.

"A word of caution," he said gently. "A dream is a beautiful thing. Pursuing yours is admirable. But do not forget to live. Do not forget to laugh with your friends. Or cry. Or rage. Someday, you might not be able to anymore. All you will have remaining are the memories of those times together. It will be all that pushes you forward."

Sona fought back the shiver she felt at the sheer blankness of his voice, even knowing he wouldn't see it.

She knew she was incredibly lucky.

Wealth, power, family, friends, a Peerage supporting her and a dream she pursued.

Hell, Sona had recently gotten out of her arranged marriage while Rias still had hers hanging over her head.

Looking at the man beside her, who had only a few years left to live, no family, and had given up all his wealth, Sona knew she had no right to complain about a prank between friends.

It also drew something to her attention she hadn't noticed before.

Eren looked worse than she remembered.

His clothes hung from a frame that looked skinnier than before. Despite sitting in the sun for hours, his skin was a shade lighter than she remembered.

And he had spent the last month alone.

Every day, sitting on an uncomfortable bench, with no one for company but their hidden familiars.

An unfamiliar and unwelcome emotion rose in Sona's chest as she looked at her student and friend.

Rather than give voice to it or continue criticizing the boy for the prank, she turned to another subject.

"Your hair is getting too long," she chided gently, grabbing a long strand of dark hair that fell to below his chest and pushing it out of his face. "You should get it cut as soon as possible. A tidy appearance helps maintain a tidy mindset."

Eren didn't say anything, just giving her a weary nod.

A sound had Sona pulling her hand away as if she had been scalded by the brown locks.

"Ufufufu," Akeno giggled at the sight, her uniform and hair dishevelled from the chase but unharmed otherwise. "How cute."

"You're in my seat," Rias said with a pout and a glare at her rival as she crossed her arms in displeasure. She was also dishevelled and had a twig in her red hair but seemed more concerned with Sona's placement than anything else.

"Hem," Sona coughed softly in her hand, acting as if nothing had happened. She did not get up. "Since Eren asked, I will not be harsh with your punishment, Akeno." The reincarnated devil looked at the young man in surprise as Sona continued. "You will join the student council every night for two weeks to aid us. There is a lot of work to be done after the summer. This will be on top of your usual duties. I trust this is agreeable, Rias?"

"You took my seat," Rias repeated, still pouting, but nodded. "Fine. She can lose some free time."

"Ah," Akeno gasped dramatically, raising a hand to her forehead to feign a faint. "What a cruel mistress I have! Sold off to slave away for another. You will save me, won't you, Eren?"

Perfectly timed and without any tonal inflection, Eren answered.

"No."

"Ha!"
"Pfft."

Even as Rias crowed in triumph, pointing a finger at her queen, Sona desperately covered her mouth to try and cover up the sound of her snort escaping from between clenched lips.

Everyone turned to the Sitri, though Eren's facing was slightly off.

There was a beat of silence as everyone digested what had just happened.

"Ufufufufufu," Akeno's giggles gained further fervour as she watched the normally stoic young woman turn red for the second time today. "How cute."

"Rias!" Sona snapped at her rival, who was staring at her like she was seeing a ghost. "Didn't you say you brought a picnic? Let's eat."

It took another five minutes for Rias to bring out the picnic basket she had brought, and Sona had to give up her seat to do it, but the four teens eventually settled into a light meal. Eren and Rias sat on the bench while Sona and Akeno contented themselves to rest on the blanket in the grass.

In the afternoon sun of a small park, the three childhood friends ate and talked about their summer and plans for the coming semester. They laughed, teased, and enjoyed a moment of freedom.

Freedom from their responsibilities, their pasts, and the worries of their futures.

The young boy sat on the bench through it all, eating lightly and listening to them. He rarely joined in their talk, though they tried to include him when they could.

He was content to simply be there on that bench.

Eren's mind wandered to memories. To memories far away and long ago.

Eren Yeager never smiled.

Even surrounded by laughter, that didn't change.

Even if all three girls there would swear, his expression eased more than they had ever seen.

But if, while listening and remembering, Eren dozed into one of his habitual naps, none of the young women with him tried to wake him.

And if, while sleeping, he saw three children running to a tree on a hill...

Eren Yeager never smiled.

But the boy in the dream?

Well, the young boy in the dream was smiling enough for both of them.

All three girls quieted, content to let him rest as they spoke and laughed in hushed tones as Eren napped on the bench.

********

Thanks to Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331 for betaing this.

One of my favourite parts of AOT is how much goes unsaid. If you only look at the words spoken, you get one view of the characters and the story. But if you also consider the actions they take and even their body language, you get a much more rounded picture.

That is harder to convey through purely writing format, lacking as it is the visual storytelling of manga or anime. Still, I am trying to match that storytelling method as best I can.

It may not be apparent now, but like rereading the manga or rewatching the anime, I want my readers to start On The Bench after knowing the end and be able to point to a specific moment and go: 'That's it. That's when this happened' without me spelling it out for them. That is half the fun of AOT.

This chapter might be one of those moments. It might not. You'll have to read to the end to find out.

I will meet you all next time On The Bench.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 21, 2023

Eren woke up from his nap.

Koneko could tell by how his body tensed slightly, unconsciously reacting to a world he couldn't see.

Her senses had always been more sensitive than the others. Thanks to her heritage as a Yokai and her affinity for...

She bit into another cracker.

"Who are you?" He asked in his accented Japanese. He was facing her direction but noticeably higher than her head's position.

Koneko frowned minutely.

She still hadn't hit her growth spurt, but it was coming. Probably when she graduated middle school and into high school. Then she'd be tall, and her boobs would be bigger than Rias' and Akeno's.

She was sure of it.

She had to pause slightly to finish the cracker in her mouth to answer. Her eating had probably been what woke Eren up from his nap.

"...Toujou Koneko. Nice to meet you." After a beat, she decided to say a bit more to put him at ease. "You can speak English."

Eren's muscles slightly eased. Still tense, but not held on a knife's edge. His lips quirked. Not a smile. But something... something.

Koneko bit into another cracker. Elephant. She liked the idea of eating something so large in one bite.

So she did.

"...Rias' friend?"

Koneko nodded once.

Then, she froze, the back half of a horse cracker in her mouth.

This was going to be rough.

"...Yes."

"What are you doing here, Koneko?"

"Watching you."

"Why?"

"Buchou asked."

"'Buchou?' That is... 'club president?'"

"Yes."

Eren sighed. It was so quiet and minute that most others would not have caught the exhalation of air from his mouth.

Koneko put the cat cracker back in the box and ate the dog cracker head first.

She wasn't lying about Buchou asking her to come.

She, Sona, and Akeno had apparently decided the teenage boy in front of her shouldn't be left alone after classes ended. They didn't want him to get lonely or something. There was some sort of schedule or rotation setup Koneko was unaware of.

Unfortunately, a Stray devil had wandered into Kuoh, and both Buchou and Akeno had decided it was safer for both of them to go. Sona was still occupied with the student council, so they had asked Koneko to sit with and meet Eren and let him know they'd be late.

Koneko had agreed, not really caring. She had no clients tonight and planned to stay at the club to munch on snacks. Maybe visit Gya-kun and play a game. Sitting on an uncomfortable bench while doing the same was no great sacrifice.

She had honestly thought the smell would be the only hassle. Usually, sick people aggravated her sensitive senses. Open wounds, sweat-soaked clothes, or the smell of medication annoyed her sometimes.

Eren Yeager did not smell like any of that.

He just smelled... normal, really. He clearly bathed regularly, and his time in the park gave him the faint odour of grass, wind, and pollen. Even then, it was incredibly subtle. No overpowering smell of body spray, like so many of the boys in school.

Koneko sometimes wished she could punch people who thought deodorant replaced a shower.

But Buchou would disapprove.

Koneko continued to munch away, lost in her own thoughts.

Neither of the occupants of the bench were the most talkative of people, which suited Koneko just fine. She was ready to kill another hour or so, waiting for her King and Queen to find the Stray, kill it, and return.

From everything she had heard of Eren Yeager, he would also continue to sit in silence.

So when he asked her a question after long minutes of silence, she had to take a moment to swallow the rhino in her mouth before responding.

"Do you enjoy it?" His voice was hesitant, almost awkward. The words came out in an unsteady rhythm like he was forcing them out.

"...Enjoy what?"

"Your club. Rias and Akeno." He gestured vaguely in the direction of the school as if to try and explain with movement what his words couldn't convey.

"Yes."

"How about schooling? Do you like going to school?"

Koneko frowned minutely, trying to understand where this was coming from. Why was he being chatty?

Akeno had told her he would be wary and cautious. Buchou said he wouldn't open up easily, and Koneko would need to help him. She hadn't been sure she could but had promised to try.

"It's alright," she answered simply. "Boring. Not too bad."

"That's good. And your club duties? The others complain about them. They aren't too bad, are they? Rias doesn't work you too hard?"

The words tumbled from his lips as if nervous energy pushed them out despite their lack of tonal inflection. Like he didn't actually care and was just going through the motions. Or fulfilling some duty he was unsuited for.

Koneko's frown deepened further. This... didn't seem to be small talk, like her classmates sometimes engaged in.

What was going on with Eren Yeager?

Was he... trying to get information on the others through her? To make sure they didn't act differently behind his back?

She knew of his past and could understand a certain level of paranoia, but she thought he was their friend. Buchou certainly seemed to think so, and Akeno generally had good things to say about him.

"No," Koneko answered truthfully but kept it at that.

She only had a few clients and had plenty of free time. Rias provided everything she wanted. Her life was good.

If he was searching for something bad about her family, she wouldn't give it to him.

Koneko might be younger than the others, but she wouldn't be tricked.

"Did you..." Eren paused in his questions as if searching for the right words again. Koneko corrected her earlier thoughts. His voice had been as monotone as hers this entire time, but he seemed strangely invested in her answers. Eventually, he settled on a question. "You also went with them for the summer?"

"Yes."

"You live with Rias' family?"

"Yes."

"Are they kind to you?"

"Yes."

"Are you... happy?"

Koneko froze, unable to keep up with the one-word answers she had been giving.

Was she happy?

Rias, Akeno, Yuuto, and Gya-kun were her friends. School, while annoying, was alright. She ate what she wanted to eat when she wanted to eat it. On the weekends, she'd nap through the afternoon in a cozy spot where the sun would warm her.

She was strong, safe, and well cared for.

But was she happy?

Her mind flitted back to the nightmares.

To two young girls, black and white, all alone against the world after they lost their mother.

To long days of privation and starvation.

To an older girl, swearing to be there for her, only to leave.

To a small cell, trapped alone with nothing but her unwashed smell and nobody but herself, crying for anyone to tell her where her sister was.

Was she happy?

"...Yes."

It took her a long moment to think it through, and Eren had made no movement to hurry her along, But she arrived at the answer she honestly thought was the truth.

She still had nightmares, still woke up screaming for a sister who wasn't there or for release from the cell. She still feared senjutsu and the effects it might have on her in the future.

Koneko was still afraid of being abandoned again.

But, here and now?

She was happy.

Her new family was kind.

"That is good."

Again, only Koneko's excellent senses allowed her to notice the faint sigh in Eren's voice. Was that relief in his voice? Envy? Wistfulness? She honestly couldn't tell.

Koneko tilted her head as she bit into a giraffe.

Had she been wrong about why he was asking questions?

If he wasn't looking for dirt on Rias, why ask all that?

It took Koneko a bit longer than she would have liked to realize what probably had happened.

Eren Yeager knew nothing about devils, nekoshou, magic, or even the Gremory.

He wasn't asking about Toujou Koneko the Rook, but the Toujou Koneko the student. He was asking about her daily life.

Eren Yeager was a human boy asking about a life he would never have.

An everyday life with school, clubs, friends, and family.

A slight pang of sympathy echoed in Koneko's heart. She wished she had said more than her one-word answers. That she was like Rias, Akeno, or Yuuto and could talk to him at length.

About how life, despite being hard, and scary, and lonely sometimes, was still fun. That he, too, could be happy.

But Koneko wasn't like the others, so she only did what she could.

"...Do you want the penguin?" Koneko asked, holding out a cracker to the older boy.

Eren tilted his head again, and Koneko cursed internally again, realizing he couldn't see her offer.

And he might not know what animal crackers were.

This friendship thing was hard.

********

"Take the picture, take the picture, take the picture." The voice tumbled in a hurry.

"I did."

"Get another one! This is too cute! Eeeeepppp." A squeal that caused Koneko to frown minutely and snuggle deeper.

"You're going to wake them up," the second voice chastised.

"But they're so, so, so, daaaahhhhh!"

Koneko's frown deepened, wishing Akeno and Rias would let her sleep.

"I know," Akeno said with fondness in her voice. "How'd she get so close? When I first met him, he threatened to punch me."

"Pffft. You just aren't as cute as our Koneko."

"Should you be saying that? Didn't he shake your hand away?"

"That was a long time ago," Rias defended herself with pride. "Just last week, I held his ha-. Never mind, just keep taking pictures."

"Ara? I just heard something juicy. Have you decided to become a mistress after all? Should I tell Sona?"

Koneko was full-on scowling now as she kept her eyes closed and buried her face deeper into the couch.

Sometimes, she wished the older girls would be more like Yuuto.

It wasn't like they weren't reliable, but sometimes they got so caught up in their little games that they forgot about others in the room.

The Knight, on the other hand, was a bastion of calm serenity.

On days like this, Koneko thanked the Satans that the two younger Peerage members could simply sit on the uncomfortable couch together, her napping and he rubbing her hair. He was even kind enough to use the special soap that masked most of his scent because he knew she was sensitive.

"You can't bother me today," Rias said primly. "I am too busy being overwhelmed by cuteness. If Gasper was here, it'd be perfect."

"...They are quite adorable," Akeno admitted. "Like an older brother and younger sister. Still, is this alright? For Koneko to be like that?"

"Don't worry about it. You haven't known him as long, but waking Eren from a nap is super hard."

"... I suppose even if he does wake, it is not like he will see them. She must be really comfortable to let them out."

Damn. Koneko had accidentally let her ears and tail out in her sleep. Despite the seating, she was just so comfortable that it didn't seem worth it to go through the discomfort of hiding them again.

Well, no, that wasn't true. The couch was way more uncomfortable than usual, but her pillow made up for it in spades.

Even if having her racial traits out left her more sensitive to the various energies her race was known to manipulate, it was fine so long as she didn't reach out to the world around her.

"It can't be the bench. That thing is terrible. I have no idea how he sleeps on the thing. It has to be his lap. I'm jealous."

"Who knew Koneko would get the famous Lap Pillow before all of us," Akeno giggled.

"My Koneko is the cutest! And cuteness is justice!"

"Didn't Lord Lucifer say the same thing about 'his Ria-tan' this summer?"

"Hush you! That never happened."

Seriously, those two needed to leave. Or keep it down.

Relaxed and half-dozing, Koneko tried to snuggle deeper. In her state, in that awkward realm between wakefulness and sleep, when she was at her most vulnerable, Koneko's supernatural senses slipped the leash she usually kept in tight control.

Like a fire, it blazed across her senses.

"AAAHHH," she screamed in surprise, falling from the bench and to the ground as she rolled away.

"Koneko!"
"Koneko!"

Rias and Akeno dashed to her fallen form, concern and worry written across their faces as they checked her for injuries.

Koneko paid them no mind, staring at the boy on the bench with wide eyes.

"What was that?" He asked, sitting up from where he had been sleeping, Koneko in his lap. "Rias? Akeno? ...Koneko? What happened?" His hand rested on his cane, and he looked ready to stand and fight.

"Fine," Koneko said hurriedly. "I'm fine. Just fell."

Eren remained tense, and Rias and Akeno continued to brush the dirt from her uniform as they checked her over.

"You fell?" Eren asked with a frown, his empty hand raising slightly to his bandaged eyes before falling back to his cane. "Are you hurt?"

"No." She struggled to keep the emotions out of her voice as she stared at the older boy with dilated eyes.

"Koneko," Rias whispered in her ear. Her cat ear. "What happened?"

Quickly hiding her ears and tail, the middle-schooler looked at the older girls and shook her head slightly.

They couldn't talk about this here. Not with Eren here.

"When did you two get here?" He asked the older girls. "What time is it?"

"Just now. I guess we woke Koneko. Sorry for waking you," Akeno lied easily at Eren's question, sensing something off in Koneko. "It's a bit past eight, and the sun is setting. Do you need help getting home?"

"I can do it," Eren said but made no move to stand, instead relaxing back on the bench. "You should head home. You still have school tomorrow, and staying out late isn't safe."

Rias looked like she was about to protest, likely pointing out that the three of them would be much safer than he would, even discounting being devils. They were creatures of the night and stayed up much later than most teenagers could get away with without sleep withdrawals.

Koneko stopped her by tugging at her sleeve gently and giving her a pleading look.

"We were just picking up Koneko before heading back," Rias said with a smile that Eren couldn't see. "Sorry for missing today's appointment. I'll make it up to you tomorrow."

"You don't need to baby me," Eren frowned, but there was no heat in it. "I am fine on my own. If stuff happens, you don't need to send someone to watch me. I am not going anywhere."

"We had an appointment, and I missed it. And we're almost done with Battle Tendency. I think you will like the next part a lot. So I will see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow then," Eren said, giving up on changing the stubborn girl's mind. He nodded in their generation. "It was nice meeting you, Koneko."

"...Yeah. You too."

"And me?" Akeno said with a teasing lilt in her voice.

"...Goodnight, Rias, Koneko."

"Ooohhh, denial play. I like it."

"...Come on," Koneko said as she dragged Rias and the pervert away from the park, the bench, and its occupant.

"Goodnight, Eren!" Rias called back, and the sick boy raised a hand and gently waved farewell toward them.

Koneko continued to drag the pair through the woods and to the clubhouse nearby, leaving Eren behind on the bench.

********

Thanks to Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331 for betaing this.

A bit on the shorter side with this one, but needs must.

In writing this fic, I am trying to keep to only writing the needed parts, either for the story or to establish the characters. This way, I can avoid story bloat that is all too common in Slice of Life stories. (To say nothing of my other work that went from a planned 150k words to a 600k monstrosity that is still going strong.)

This means that, for the moment, Koneko and Eren have little to discuss. While both have strong opinions and beliefs, neither is the type to talk about them to strangers, leading to their first meeting being more awkward than Sona's, Rias', or Akeno's, who are very sociable girls despite their various characteristics.

Koneko will get her time in the sun, but because she is so closed off, it will be a while before I can really dive deep into her. Otherwise, it just would feel wrong for her character.

For those who celebrate it, have a good turkey day. I will be waiting for you on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 26, 2023

Nobody said anything until they were well out of earshot of the young man.

"What happened Koneko?" Rias asked gently, taking the younger girl's hand in her own. "You're shaking. Another nightmare?"

"...No."

How was she supposed to say this?

Was she supposed to say anything?

"Was it Eren?" Akeno asked with a concerned frown as she took her junior's other hand. "Did he do something?"

"He didn't do anything." In the end, Koneko trusted her King and Queen. "I felt his life force."

""What?"" They both asked in confusion, but then Rias' eyes lit up in excitement.

"And?" She asked eagerly. "Did you feel anything special? Some hidden bloodline or Sacred Gear? Magic?"

"No." This question was easy to answer, as it was one she had looked into before. "He's definitely human. No magic or Sacred Gear. I'm sure."

It wasn't just a pitiful amount of magic, like some humans. Koneko had not felt even a drop of magical potential in the boy. It was like he was magically disabled, which did happen sometimes. That meant he couldn't have a Sacred Gear, as they all had a magical component to them, even if only a tad.

Rias's face fell, and Koneko immediately felt terrible. She knew her King had been searching for any excuse she could find to make an offer to Eren to have him join her Peerage. Still, she wouldn't lie.

"If it wasn't that, then he had a lot of life force, right? That's what surprised you?"

Koneko nodded at Akeno's guess.

"That's good!" Rias fist pumped quietly. "I can have my cousin train him. I hear he's been trying to attain Touki recently. With Eren's experience and the chance he can gain Touki, the family won't complain when I reincarnate him."

"You can't."

"I'm going to ask first, of course," Rias' chuckled, rubbing Koneko's hair gently. "Eren would flip if he was forced into a Peerage. I want to get him to trust me first so he'll agree. I was just worried about the repercussions. But this should be enough. Thank you, Koneko."

She looked so happy, as if a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders, that Koneko regretted her next words as soon as they left her mouth.

"You can't," she repeated. "You're too weak."

Rias froze in place, hand resting on Koneko's scalp in the middle of ruffling her hair.

Koneko felt her eyes water at the hurt in her King's eyes. She didn't want Rias looking at her like that.

"Koneko," Akeno crouched slightly till she was at eye level with her junior and spoke softly. "Dear. What do you mean? Rias might be a lazy weeb, but she's not weak."

The nekoshou knew Akeno was trying to use humour to deflect, but it didn't change the truth. But how to explain it in a way they could understand?

"It's like a fire." She eventually said, speaking to both of them. "Most people are candles. Yuuto is like a fireplace. You two are bonfires. Buchou's is bigger."

It was a testament to the situation that Rias didn't start immediately bragging about 'size' to Akeno.

"And Eren?"

"... Remember the forest fire Surtr II started two years ago?"

"The one Nee-san tore into him about?" Akeno remembered with a fond smile. That smile dipped. "The one that burned down his entire territory?"

"Eren felt like that?" Rias asked with an intake of air. "How?"

Koneko shrugged, not having an answer to the question. She just knew what she felt.

"Can you compare it to anything else, dear?" Akeno asked gently, and Koneko gave it some real thought.

She didn't keep her Ki senses open often. Partly because it was only possible to get a really good sense of things when her ears and tail were out, but also because she was afraid it would leave her open to Senjutsu and the malice of the world that drove her sister mad. So, she only had a few frames of reference to work from.

"Less than Nee-san," Koneko said with certainty, then continued with much less confidence. "More than... Lord Gremory?" This was not an exact science by any means, and she was going by impressions more than anything.

Both Akeno and Rias shared a look.

Grayfia Lucifuge was probably the second strongest female devil alive, so Eren being less powerful than her didn't say much. But Rias' father was firmly in the ultimate class, if on the lower end.

For Eren's life force to rival his...

"Does he know Touki," Rias asked, and Koneko shrugged again. There was no way to tell if someone knew how to use their Ki until they actually did.

"Even someone with only a little Ki can use Touki," Akeno shook her head and explained to her King. She was more familiar with the practice, thanks to her past studies. "Having a lot of Ki doesn't mean he can use it, just that finding it is easier, and once he does, it is more useful. The question is, how did he gain so much? If he was part Yokai or had a Sacred Gear or something like it, it would be understandable. But a pure human?"

"Eren exercises regularly when he gets home," Rias spoke aloud. "I've had my familiar keep an eye on him occasionally when a Stray is in the area. Despite his condition, he spends at least a few hours daily keeping up a demanding regime for a human. It is the only thing he does besides sit on the bench. It's why he's still in decent shape."

"That isn't enough," Akeno shook her head, not even commenting on Rias' use of her familiar to 'keep an eye' on a young man. "Some humans have more Ki than others, but nothing like Koneko saw. Not without access to some sort of mystic art. A few hours of exercise isn't enough to make up that difference. To even have a hope of gaining that much lifeforce at that age, he'd need training from a Sennin or a similar teacher and years of effort."

"He's meditating," Koneko said with realization, the Queen's words tickling her brain to memories of her older sis... to Kuroka learning her own Ki arts. "When he's on the bench. He's meditating."

"Unconsciously?" Rias asked with disbelief. Humans meditating was nothing new, but doing so in a way to channel or raise their Ki without instruction was practically unheard of.

"Maybe not," Akeno, too, had a moment of realization. "His second in command in his mercenary company was Chinese if I remember right. And others were from cultures with mystic traditions that merged with regular humans. The Sitri agents didn't find anything supernatural in his past, but it is possible he learned proper meditation techniques without knowing how to consciously use the Ki. If all he does is meditate and exercise, it is theoretically possible for a human to reach Ki levels comparable in magnitude, if not usage, to an Ultimate Class. It would take an insanely gifted genius to do it at his age, but it is possible."

"That still doesn't make sense," Rias said, biting the tip of her nail in frustration. "If he has that much life force, he shouldn't be dying."

That Koneko did have an answer for.

"Strong, but limited." She struggled to put what she had felt into words. "The forest is running out of trees. Or, fire isn't getting air?"

What she had felt had been incredibly bright to her senses but not spread. In fact, it had been tightly contained.

Koneko was a nekoshou, a variant race of nekomata which were themselves a race of Yokai supernaturally gifted with talents in the Sage arts, and she hadn't felt any of his prodigious Ki when Rias first asked her to investigate him. It was only because she had been touching Eren directly, with her ears and tail out, that she felt it.

Like a sun trapped in a glass ball.

And that ball was shrinking as his body gave out.

Only a few hundred feet from that sun, Koneko could sense nothing special about the boy.

Ki was not a cure-all. Nor was having a significant source of vital energy a guarantee of a long life. People with Ki would still get sick and would still die from disease, poison, or even age. Their life might be strong, but their body might not be.

In real life, Ki was not like it was in Dragon Ball or other media. Eren Yeager could have all the Ki in the world; all it would do was delay the inevitable if his body failed.

Rias' finger was bleeding she was biting its tip so hard.

"If Koneko only sensed it now, it would explain how the Sitri servants missed it." Akeno continued to piece the puzzle together. "And why no other devil or faction has come to snatch him up."

"Is there any way he can learn to use his Ki to heal himself?" Rias asked both of them, a bit of desperation leaking into her voice.

Akeno looked at the Rook, but Koneko shook her head slightly.

"It is his body," she explained. "It shouldn't be this way, but it is. He's already doing everything but is still sick. Ki can't help, or it would have. Sickness, not injury. Internal, not external."

Koneko didn't need to tell them that it was probably only thanks to his prodigious life force that Eren had managed to stay alive this long. If he didn't have that internal reservoir of power he was unconsciously using, his body would have shut down long ago.

How young would he have been when he died without it?

Ten? Twelve? Koneko could not imagine he would have survived to fourteen if all his Ki could do was keep him going till nineteen.

But she did not need to speak those grim words to the older girls.

Both of them had probably guessed as much.

"If we could move his soul to a new body, it would fix the problem at the root," Akeno postulated. "But the only thing that can do that is the Sephiroth Grail, which hasn't appeared in generations."

Counting on the appearance of one of the twelve Longinus in this generation was wishful thinking in the extreme. The world's factions always kept a close eye on them when they showed up, and the last time the Grail appeared was decades ago.

And even if a user did appear in the time they had left, they would need to find them, convince them to help Eren, and create a body for him.

"Ok," Rias said to herself, pacing along the dark path back and forth as she continued to chew her nail. "Ok."

"Should we... tell Lord Lucifer?" Akeno asked delicately, knowing how much Rias valued her independence from her family and brother.

"No." Rias was firm in her denial, and when Akeno made to insist, she continued. "I don't think he can help. Think about it. We are already looking for a way to heal Eren and aren't going to stop. All that has changed is that we know Ki doesn't work and how much potential Eren has now. Potential we cannot let anyone know about. Ever."

Akeno pursed her lips but nodded, seeing the point.

If other high-class devils learned that there was someone like Eren, a once-in-centuries genius with the potential to be a Sennin, was currently weak and vulnerable in the human world...

"If anyone forcibly reincarnates him, he'll go Stray instantly."

Rias nodded sharply at Akeno's words.

Everything she knew about the older boy told her he would rather die than give up his freedom. He had said as much to Sona and her on different occasions.

That was why she had initially simply planned to make his last few years fun. Her plans had shifted since then, unwilling to let her friend die if she could help it, but she still wasn't going to reincarnate him against his wishes.

"Anyone able to turn him will be the peak of High Class or Ultimate Class at the very least. If he goes Stray, which he will, they'll kill him instantly before he can grow into his potential. He'll start weak because of his condition, Ki or no Ki. The greater his potential, the more risk he's in and the quicker they'd kill him."

"...Sorry," Koneko apologized, feeling terrible that her inattention had inadvertently put Eren in danger.

"Nononono," Rias hurried to reassure her Rook, drawing the young girl into a tight hug. "Us knowing about it is a good thing. It's an excellent thing. It'd be too late if we didn't learn about it till later. We still have time now."

"Time for what?" Akeno asked.

"Time for me to make Ultimate Class!"

"Rias!"

"Not a lot of time, but it should be enough," the King continued despite her Queen's shock and Koneko's wide eyes.

Rias was powerful for her age and did deserve her High-Class status even without her noble heritage. She was the peek of the current generation of devils in pure potential alone, thanks to her raw power and bloodline abilities.

While Rias might not be comparable to her Super-Devil of a brother, something that bothered her, she was still a once-in-a-generation talent. It was one of the reasons the Phenex family pushed so hard for her hand in marriage.

Any child of hers, combined with Phenex immortality, had the potential to reach or even eclipse her older brother's stupendous power.

But devils did not grow over years, but over decades. A young devil wasn't even considered mature until after their first half-century.

Rias claiming she could reach Ultimate Class in power, if not in status before she even turned twenty, was nothing less than insane.

"I'm going to tell Sona," Rias rambled on, putting her thoughts in order and setting out a game plan. "She deserves to know too. I'll have to leave ruling Kuoh to her, but between the two of us, I have the best chance. I still have all eight of my pawns. Those are our best shot. After that, I am going to need to get to training. A lot of training. I still have a year and a half left, at least. Akeno, do you mind taking over my clients? I'll need all the time I can get."

"Of course," Akeno answered instinctually but then paused as a thought arose. "What about... you know? Riser. You only have so many pieces left."

Power wouldn't save Rias from the marriage. If it could, she would have had a much easier time.

Riser was the peak of the High Class. Even if Rias became Ultimate Class, it still wouldn't be enough to overcome his regeneration. All he would have to do was stall her out, regenerating over and over again until he could wear her down.

Even if Eren had the potential to use Touki, it was ironically one of the worst matchups against a Phenex unless the latter was utterly outclassed.

It didn't matter if one could cause internal damage to someone if the Phenex could heal internal damage in seconds.

The initial desire to come to the human world was to gain independence and fill out their Peerages over the years. The plan had been to comb the human world, particularly the school, for anyone with the potential to at least counter the regeneration. Kuoh was a hotbed of magical potential, which tended to attract Sacred Gear holders unconsciously.

Rias had been promised till the end of her time in the human world before the actual marriage, even if her family was putting more pressure as the years passed. The stress was mounting for Rias without a counter appearing, but she still had years.

Even if it wasn't a Longinus, certain sacred gears or mystical talents could negate the regeneration of the Phenex clan. Members of the family had been killed or beaten by such in the past.

"We'll still look for someone," Rias reassured her Queen. She wasn't willing to completely give up the hope of finding a counter to the pompous asshole and getting her freedom. "But if I get stronger, it will cost fewer pieces to reincarnate them. So it's a win-win. And once Eren's reincarnated, he can train, get better, and will be able to help."

"Does this mean you aren't going to spend time with Eren anymore?" Akeno asked, trying to follow along with her King.

"What? No! If anything, I am going to spend even more time with him. It won't matter if I get strong enough to reincarnate him if he doesn't accept the offer. A year and a half. That's how much time he said he had, right? That's all the time I have to make Ultimate Class and convince Eren I won't take his freedom from him."

"...Are you sure about this, Rias?" Akeno asked, looking worried. "What about everything else? Your hobbies, your dreams. I like Eren, and I want him to live as well. But I don't want you to burn out. That won't help him."

"I won't," Rias reassured her friend with a smile. "I'll be with you all most of the time I'm training, and I read manga to Eren. Two birds, one stone. I'm also ahead of the curriculum at school. Really, there is no reason I shouldn't have been training this entire time. If I get good enough, we might be able to lift the seal on Gasper. Control training during class and when I'm with Eren, and power training when not. It will be my very own training arc. You better take video's Akeno! I will want to make an anime montage after this."

Koneko and Akeno shared a look.

Rias was putting a brave face on all this, trying to stay chipper and reassure them, but both understood just how hard this would be.

It was easy to say, read about, or play a game about someone spending all their time constantly training to improve, but it was a wholly different thing to do it.

Nobody wanted to spend every day exercising, doing repeated and monotonous training that left you tired and sweaty. 'Training' was easy to say, but who wants to go to bed every night sore and bruised, exhausted and weak, with a killer headache from overusing their magic.

You give up hobbies. You give up friends. You give up everything but the pursuit of power.

And that was for humans.

Devils, creatures of vice and indulgence, did not have to train to become strong. It certainly helped, but any devil that lived over five centuries would become High-class in power just by virtue of age, even if all they did was sleep and eat. If they did basic exercises in magic for ten minutes a day, that time frame shortened to only two centuries.

Rias was already much more dedicated than her peers and spent at least an hour a day training herself and her Peerage. It was a significant factor as to why they were so much stronger than other devils their age. By human standards, they were very active teenagers.

By devil standards, they were nothing less than training maniacs, only beaten by the likes of Sairaorg and his Peerage. And they didn't have to overcome the same deficiencies as the Bael.

Rias was projected to hit Ultimate Class before she was fifty if she kept this rate up. It was an insane growth speed for a race that measured their lifespan in millennia.

To shorten that down to before she was twenty?

Remarkably few ever achieved something like that, and of those that did, four were the current Satans.

"...We'll help," Koneko said simply after sharing a nod with Akeno.

"I shall break out my good whip," Akeno giggled, but there was a tenseness to it.

"Thank you," Rias said with a wide smile, dragging them into a tight hug. "I love you guys."

Akeno had one last question, but it was an important one.

"If you don't get strong enough in time," she asked as she wrapped her arms around the redhead. "What then?"

"Then I'll ask my brother or one of his Peerage to reincarnate Eren," Rias said with a troubled sigh. "I'll explain everything to Eren, and once I am strong enough, I'll request a trade."

"Eren won't accept that," Akeno sadly shook her head. "Maybe, just maybe, he might trust you enough to become a devil under you or Sona. But someone else? He'd rather die. Will you be able to let him? Let him die if he chooses to?"

"It won't come to that," Rias insisted, a slight tremble in her voice, squeezing both of them tighter. "You'll see. I'm going to be strong enough. Eren will trust me enough. I'm going to save him. Eren is going to live a long, happy life. You'll see."

********

I like having hard facts to play with when I write fanfiction. Especially with this fic, since it is an attempt at a continuation of AOT's story, I am trying to stick as close to canon facts as possible.

Unlike AOT, which is very grounded in logic processes and has clear cause and effect, DxD does not make it easy. At all.

Ishibumi is excellent for a head empty, just Oppai, story with depth for those who want to look for it, but he is absolutely abysmal with giving us mechanics or anything that would go against the 'rule of cool.' He will often invent things just to justify a new girl joining the harem and then give no consideration for what it means for the wider world.

What this means is that for subjects he only mentions in passing, I have to make my own guesses and write into the margins he left.

For example: Koneko is a nekoshou. Their whole thing is being sensitive to natural energies. The 'nekomata massacre' is fannon, but it stems from the 'nekomata incident' where Kuroka did kill her master and leave Koneko behind. Ostensibly, this is because she went mad with the malice of the world because of Senjutsu. But here is the thing. That 'malice' is never a thing at all. We know Kuroka did it to save her sister, and, for the rest of DxD, the 'malice' of the world is never brought up once. A total non-factor. A convenient excuse by the author to justify giving Koneko a reason for Issei to comfort her.

In fact, Ishibumi casually mentions 'sennin' at some point, but that is never elaborated on. Ever. So humans can use Ki, duh, and thus touki. Those who do are famous, yet not powerful enough to be genuine players on the world stage, or they would have appeared in the story. This means that I have to guestimate the rules that this power system follows, which are completely different from magic and demonic power.

This long rant is just me venting and letting you know that I am aware that some of what I write is not 'explicitly' canon. But, as far as I know, I have not written anything that goes against canon. This is just my understanding of the characters and world. If you find something that is 'explicitly' against canon, let me know. It could be something I overlooked (or it could be a hint, who knows

Ishibumi made things up as he went along. That is pretty clearly the Doylist reason for certain facts and actions in the story. Assuming characters are already familiar with their world (or at least the parts they should be), I have to provide the Watsonian reason.

Either way, I hope this tangent has been instructional on my thought process as I write. I will see you all next time on the bench.

PS: For those who enjoy Attack On Titan's music, the Grissini Project is currently running a Kickstarter for their Orchestral covers of the soundtrack. You can find them on Youtube to give them a listen before donating if you are interested. I listened to their work while I wrote, so I figured I'd give them a shout-out as thanks. They are very good and is some of the best covers I've ever heard. Vogel Im Kafig, in particular, is spectacular.

ReadingDangerously · Nov 28, 2023

Kiba Yuuto did not understand.

He watched his King read the manga to the blind boy, describing the pages in great detail. She spoke in English most of the time but would say the lines in Japanese. If the blind boy did not understand the meaning, she would also provide a translation.

It was extremely slow going. A volume of manga Kiba had seen Rias devour in less than an hour ended up stretched for days.

And through it all, Rias practiced with her magic.

Hidden below the bench, behind a tree, or at a distance from the seated pair, small clumps of destructive magic wove their way through the air. Sometimes, they would clump together to form small stick figures of black and red energy bobbing up and down in a crude approximation of Rias' narrated scenes.

It was a display of control that the Gremory King wouldn't have been able to achieve even a few months ago, and a part of Yuuto watched it with pride.

He just didn't understand why it had happened in the first place.

He did not understand why Eren Yeager was such a point of focus for the two Kings of the school, Akeno and even Koneko, in recent months.

Intellectually, he knew that he was their friend. Sona took him under her wing and was teaching the blind boy Japanese. Rias had decided to befriend him thanks to her kindness, and the other two met the dying young man through her.

Intellectually, Yuuto understood that Eren Yeager had been through a lot, as had everyone in the Gremory Peerage, and it gave them a common ground to stand on that was missing with a lot of their human peers. Even if Eren didn't know their history, he had a maturity and bearing that was sorely lacking in the average teenager.

Intellectually, the Knight understood that all the effort the Gremory Peerage was putting in now, the long hours of supplemental training, would only help them achieve their dreams later.

All this Kiba Yuuto understood intellectually, but it was like something was just out of his grasp.

It wasn't love. At least Yuuto didn't think so.

As far as he knew, none of the women he was closest to had expressed romantic interest in the sickly boy. Nor had Eren ever hinted at any feelings of such a nature either.

Sona might have a crush on him, but her sense of decency, his impending death, or some other factor kept her from acting on such thoughts.

It probably helped that the blind boy couldn't see the beauty of the women around him, which usually drove other boys his age to folly in their efforts to impress them.

But if it wasn't love, and they had only known Eren for a little under a year, Yuuto could not understand how the older boy had wormed his way into their heart to such a degree.

Kiba Yuuto did not understand Eren Yeager.

But today, he'd try and change that.

Rias nodded at her Knight as she left Eren with a farewell.

Strictly speaking, she was only entrusting him to watch over the blind boy, something he could do with his familiar.

It was a protection detail they kept up when they could ever since they had learned of his prodigious potential with Ki. While Rias and Sona were the only officially known supernatural factions in Kuoh, barring the destroyed church, it wasn't impossible that some malicious Yokai or Stray would wander into their territory.

Eren would be a delicious and inviting meal for such beings if they discovered his powerful life force. Eating him would give a number of man-eating races numerous benefits. It was always better to have a pair of eyes on him.

The park was warded against such creatures, as was his small house, but Eren came and went from the bench at odd hours, so at least one familiar was entrusted to follow him at those times for his safety.

There were blind spots, of course. The devils still had school and duties and needed to sleep. Unless there was an active threat, there was no reason to constantly watch him. Still, it was another factor to indicate how important the boy was becoming to Yuuto's friends, and he wanted to know why.

Rias had repeatedly insisted that Eren could never know, as he valued his independence fiercely. The sickly boy was unaware of the true danger he was in, and telling him about it would only stress him out and ruin what time he had left.

Yuuto had agreed readily enough, initially not really interested in meeting the boy who had captured the attention of his friends. He had enough on his plate, between school, contracts, avoiding his growing fan club, the occasional Stray devil, and the increased dedication to training the Gremory peerage was putting themselves through.

It was a whim, more than anything, that led to deciding today was the day he'd try and understand the blind boy.

But how to go about it?

In the end, the decision was made for him.

"Are you going to stand there all night?" Eren called out to the park.

He wasn't facing Yuuto, but the Knight could see no one else there. But Eren couldn't be talking to him, could he?

While he wasn't super far from the bench the boy sat on, Yuuto had been standing there without making a sound for over ten minutes now, resting against the bark of a tree. Eren couldn't have seen him, could he?

"I know you're there," Eren continued, turning his head. He wasn't facing the Knight directly. In fact, it was a few feet in front of him, but it was close enough that Yuuto knew it was him being addressed. "I can hear you breathing."

"Sorry," he said as he stepped closer. How had Eren heard him? He hadn't been doing his best to remain stealthy, but he also hadn't been breathing loudly. "I didn't think I was being that loud."

"You weren't. I hear a lot more than I used to."

Yuuto winced in sympathy.

It was easy to forget with the confidence he held himself with, but Eren had only been blind for slightly over a year, according to the file. He had gone through most of his life with the use of his eyes. It made sense that his hearing was still developing to compensate for the difference.

Probably helped along by his stupendous amount of Ki, unconsciously channelled to his body as it tried to keep him alive.

"Sorry," the Knight repeated. "Can I take a seat?"

"Go ahead," Eren said with an uncaring shrug. "It's a public bench. Though I seem to be one of the only ones to use this park."

"It is in a remote area," Kiba chuckled lightly as he took a seat, knowing the wards kept most people out. Wards Eren walked through entirely unconsciously. "Not many people go from the high school to the university."

"You must be Kiba Yuuto, then."

"You know me?" Yuuto asked in surprise. Seriously, was this boy really blind?

"Only Souna and Rias' club members come through here, and you sound different from how Rias described Gasper. She brags about you guys a lot."

"Ahaha," he chuckled awkwardly with a light blush. When Eren put it that way, it seemed obvious. "She talks about you too, you know."

"I'm sure," Eren said plainly. That was one thing Yuuto had understood about Eren without ever meeting him. The older boy never smiled, and on the rare occasions he showed emotion, it was usually in a negative way. "Rias is a nice girl, but she has too much energy."

"She's only a few years younger than you," Yuuto pointed out at the almost diminutive way the older boy spoke about his King.

"I know. But she is still naive about the world."

Yuuto bit back his instinctual desire to defend his King. Eren didn't know about anything they had been through. He had no clue of the true nature of the world or the efforts Rias was going through to give the blind boy a chance to live.

Instead of saying any of that, he settled with a vague statement.

"She could still surprise you."

"I'm surprised every day," Eren said, his voice lightening slightly. "Souna, Rias, Akeno, Koneko, and now you. Every time I meet someone on this bench, I am surprised."

Yuuto didn't understand the exact nature of that surprise but judged it to be good by Eren's tone of voice.

The conversation was silent for a minute before Eren broke it again.

"Ask it."

"Pardon?"

"You wouldn't be here if you didn't want something," Eren grunted. "I'm not good for anything physical in my state, so you must have a question. Go ahead and ask it."

Akeno had told them how sharp and perceptive the boy on the bench could sometimes be, but Yuuto still found himself surprised.

Since he had brought it up.

"Who are you?"

"What?"

"I don't mean your name, but who is Eren Yeager. You came out of nowhere, and all my friends are suddenly all over you."

"Are you in love with one of them," Eren asked with a sympathetic tilt to his mouth. "You don't need to be jealous. Trust me. I'll be gone soon."

"No, no, no," Yuuto hurried to clarify. Thinking about his word choice, it was easy to see how it could be misunderstood. But he really wasn't interested in romance or sex. Not until he had his revenge. "I don't mean stop meeting them. I'm not in love with anyone. You are a friend of my friends, so I found myself curious, that is all."

"More than curiosity," Eren said plainly. "You are wary. So was Akeno. Good."

"It is a bit rude, so I apologize," the Knight said gently. "I just wish to understand who you are. What makes you special?"

"Cut that shit out. You're better than Akeno," Eren sighed. "But you don't need to speak so formally. And don't bother apologizing to a man like me because there is no secret. I am no one special."

"If you will pardon-" Yuuto started to say, but as Eren's hand tightened on his cane and his frown deepened, he shifted to a less formal tone. "I don't know everything you've been through, but what I've picked up tells me your life has been anything but normal."

"That's just it," Eren said as he relaxed against the bench. "My life hasn't been normal by most standards. I recognize that. Circumstances and other people's decisions thrust me into the spotlight. And I used to think that made me special. That I was some sort of hero. I wasn't. Nobody is. There are no heroes. There are no villains. There are just people. I am just a man. A terrible man, but just a man."

"There might not be heroes, but there are villains. Evil people in the world that need to die."

Eren paused, and Yuuto realized he had unconsciously let his vitriol leak into his voice. The blind boy let the silence hang momentarily as if deciding whether to respond.

"There is evil in the world. Animals in the shape of men," Eren eventually nodded. "As well as good. But people... People are a result of their environment. Societal pressures that dig into young minds. Religious indoctrination. Nationalistic rhetoric. Even dreams, birthed by a child's mind, can lead to destruction. But these ideals are foisted on people. By books. By parents. Friends. Teachers. Leaders. Governments. We all do it to each other."

"So what," Yuuto bit back. "We should forgive people for what they do because it is not their fault? Are they just products of their environment? No. That isn't how that works. They don't get to do what they do and not pay for it using some tragic backstory as an excuse."

"I never said that," Eren sighed. "We are products of our environments, it is true, but what we make of them is our own. Our freedom is our own. Our birthright. We can't choose our birthplace, our society, or our family. But the things we can choose define us. That choice is what separates man from animals. And, when others try and take that choice from us, we can choose to fight back or die."

Yuuto took a deep breath, calming his racing heart. He hadn't meant to get so caught up there. He honestly felt like punching when Eren sounded like the church's preaching.

"Sorry," he apologized to the older boy.

"There is nothing to apologize for," Eren said. "You want to hurt those who hurt you. I get it. More than you will ever know, I get it."

"You're not going to tell me to forgive them?" The Knight asked wryly. "To understand where they are coming from?"

"Forgive? No," Eren said. "Even when I understood where they were coming from, that they had been manipulated by forces so much greater than what I could expect anyone to reject, I never forgave them. I just recognized that I was the same as them."

"To kill someone who kills others for fun is not the same as killing an innocent person."

"It is." Eren's voice was dead, completely absent any tonal inflection. "Nobody thinks they're in the wrong. Everyone believes themselves to be on the side of justice. But the fist, the blade, and the bullet. Those are the only things that prove justice. It doesn't matter who is actually right. Whoever is left is justice. They will tell whatever story they want. Worst of all? They will believe it. They will believe their own lies, their own justice."

"So all lives are equal to you?" Yuuto was struggling to wrap his head around Eren's viewpoint. It was like he kept vacillating between a saint and a Satan. "That nobody should ever kill anyone?"

"All people are fundamentally the same. But we assign values to different things. I just recognize that some people's values are completely different from mine. I will never kill in the name of religion. I think it is a stupid belief system that turns people into livestock. But millions die in its name. I gave value to a few people and a few beliefs. And they weigh heavier on my scale than the entire world. So I killed people. I am no better than anyone else."

"So when I say I want to kill someone for revenge for killing others?"

"You are weighing their life against your revenge. Just as they weighed the lives of whoever you are avenging to their own goals. We kill for revenge, justice, survival, and ideals, but ultimately, we are putting things we value on a scale and determining the results."

The pair lapsed into silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Then the Knight realized, in his engagement with Eren, he had let slip stuff a regular student would never think about.

"Sorry," he apologized once again. "I said I wanted to learn about you, but we ended up discussing hypotheticals like this."

"Hypotheticals?"

"Right," Yuuto laughed awkwardly. He'd always been a terrible liar. "I'm not going to go around killing people. I promise."

"I didn't think you would," Eren gave another minute shrug. "And I know you guys aren't normal, so the subject didn't surprise me."

Yuuto's heart clenched. What did he know? Had Eren found out about the supernatural? That they were devils?

Had he known all along?

"What do you mean?" His hands tensed, ready to call his Sacred Gear in a moment.

"After all this time, it's pretty obvious." Even as the blind boy spoke, a sword's outline started forming in the Knight's hand. "Rias and Souna are rich. Independent. They started helping me with no questions of return. And both Akeno and Koneko stayed with her during the summer? And now you? I'd be an idiot to not understand what was going on."

"What do you mean?" Yuuto repeated, his voice a lot less wary as the sword dissolved from his hand.

"You are all orphans. Lost your family somehow, and Rias took you in. None of you come from a normal background. That is the answer to your first question. That is why they get along with me. We aren't special people. Nobody is. But we all were put in special situations. You included."

"You are right," Yuuto gave a light chuckle. "None of us are normal. And yes, Rias took us in when she didn't have to. She got in trouble over it for a bit, but she is kind. Too kind sometimes."

"I know," Eren nodded simply.

"You know she'd love to help you, too, right? To take you in?" Rias had complained about Eren's stubbornness multiple times. It wasn't really an offer for Peerage ship, but it was as close as possible without tipping their hand about the supernatural. It would also make keeping a watch on him easier. "You wouldn't have to worry about anything. Her family is very well off, so it wouldn't inconvenience them in the slightest, and Rias would feel better if you didn't live alone."

"No." Eren's rejection was firm, giving no room for negotiation. "I don't doubt her kindness, but I am better alone. I have this bench, people to meet, and some time left. I am better off than I have been in a long time."

"If you say so."

By now, Yuuto was coming to understand why spending time with Eren appealed so much to the others.

The blind, sickly boy on the bench possessed an odd charisma in his blank expressions and world-weary words.

Like you could talk to him about anything and everything, and he would understand. He still had opinions. He still cast judgements. But it was like no part of you needed to be hidden. Like he had seen it all and done it all.

It was... freeing, in a way.

To be able to vent these dark emotions to someone who had actually seen the worst of humanity. Not from a position of power and observation like the devil therapists the Gremory had provided. But from the mud and the blood and the dirt.

The absolute lowest rung of society had somehow managed to achieve his goals, survive, and be there for them to talk to.

Yuuto could honestly say he had enjoyed their short talk and wouldn't mind doing so again.

But there was one question he had to ask that had been bugging him for a while.

"The people who hurt you, the ones you never forgave, did you get revenge?"

"I did," Eren nodded once.

"Was it worth it?"

Yuuto would have his revenge. Nothing in the world would stop him. But he would be lying if he said he didn't fear that it wouldn't be as satisfying as he always hoped it would be.

That revenge wouldn't fill the void, the gaping maw in his soul.

"Worth it? In a way, it was." Despite the words, Eren did not look happy in any way. "I accomplished everything I set out to do. Fulfilled a promise I made when I was a child. Multiple promises. I returned the pain inflicted on me a millionfold. Most of the people I cared about even survived. The world became as I willed it to be. In some twisted, horrible way, it was a happy ending."

"But it wasn't enough?"

"It was. I felt justified, even happy, in some twisted way. Guilty. Incredibly guilty. But we don't feel one emotion. With that guilt was satisfaction. It's just..." Eren paused before sagging in on himself. "In the end, my revenge became a tangential thing. Something I accomplished while building the world I wanted. A duty that weighed more heavily on my scale than lashing out. I do believe that, even without that other goal, I would have still inflicted all that pain and death. I am not a good man. I would have still lashed out. But in the end, it hadn't only been about revenge."

"What was that other goal," Kiba asked hesitantly. "What was more important than revenge? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"It's no great secret," Eren sighed. "I'm no saint. It wasn't to make the world a better place. It was a mixture of revenge, idealism, and a strategic plan. But the main reason was straightforward. I just wanted the people I cared most about to live long, happy lives. Even if I wasn't with them. A selfish wish. I've killed more people than anyone else in the world for my freedom, my revenge, and that simple, selfish wish."

If Yuuto had held any doubt Eren Yeager might know about the supernatural, it disappeared with that simple statement.

Some humans might have killed thousands directly or even hundreds of thousands in the case of bombs. Some humans were responsible for millions of deaths indirectly, such as Stalin, Truman, Mao, Hirohito, Hitler, Alexander, Ghengis Khan, and any number of infamous historical leaders leading great nations and empires.

But those numbers were paltry compared to the races who lived thousands of years of bloody history.

Zekram Bael, the first Bael, was well known to have killed hundreds of thousands during the Great War.

Personally.

His legions killed millions more. During the civil war, that number grew.

Other pantheons, other members of the three factions, and some great monsters could also count the deaths at their hands in the millions. That was what happened when you lived for so long, constantly in conflict with other factions.

As far as the Sitri had found out, Eren hadn't been responsible for any genocides or indiscriminate massacres during his time in active duty. He had been well known to be violent but effective. His kill count had maybe crossed the thousand mark but was nowhere near ten thousand.

It would be a staggering number to a teenage boy, unaware of the wider world. Enough to traumatize him.

To the supernatural races?

It wasn't even a statistic. Life simply has less value when you live for millennia. When the fall of empires was but another day for you.

Yuuto honestly couldn't think about how many people Eren would need to kill to back up his claim.

A hundred million? Five hundred million? A billion? A number so preposterous for a teenage human that it was almost funny.

Still, preposterous claim or not, it told the Knight something about Eren.

For all his talk, Eren's revenge hadn't been clean. It hadn't been without collateral damage.

The Sitri had missed something.

"Would you do it again?" Eren froze at the question. "If you could go back in time, knowing what your future held if you went after your revenge, would you do it again?"

"Yes." The word was firm as Eren spoke with the most conviction Yuuto had yet heard from him. "If I had to live through it a thousand more times, I would still do it all again. It wasn't a perfect answer, but it had been my answer. All the death, destruction, and hatred. Their lives, my freedom, my revenge. All of it together was worth that to me and more. If there is a hell, I will burn in it forever. But I would do it again."

"And if your friends, the people you were doing it for, had tried to get in the way of your revenge?"

What would Yuuto do if Rias, Akeno, Koneko, or Gasper stood in the way of his revenge? It was a distinct possibility. Destroying the Excaliburs would be tantamount to trying to start a war.

Was he willing to go Stray for it if it came to that?

"That is their choice. I wouldn't take it from them, no matter how much a selfish part wished they would side with me. I made my choices. They made theirs. I never blamed them for it. They are happier this way. In a way, I am, too."

That was why the boy was here alone, wasn't it?

The people he had cared about had turned from him, leaving him to live out his remaining years alone in a foreign country.

He would die alone.

That was why none of his former mercenary team had reached out to him even once in the year since he had appeared in Kuoh.

"There is no right answer," Eren intoned gravely. "No solution that solves everything. Just weights on the scale. If you ever find who you are looking for, you must decide what weighs more to you. Your revenge and everything that comes with it? Or the price you have to pay for it."

Kiba Yuuto did not know what weighed more on his scale.

The burning rage, the void within himself yearning to be filled with the blood and souls of those responsible?

Or the friends and family that had taken a broken, lonely boy in after bringing him back from the dead.

Kiba Yuuto didn't think he would know the answer until he was forced to choose.

"Thank you," the Knight said instead. "For talking to me. You've given me a lot to think about."

"You came to me," Eren shrugged. "You are the one who listened to a broken man ramble. All of you kids seem to like hearing me talk for some reason."

"You're only a few years older than me," Yuuto chuckled lightly. "And I think it's because having someone with your perspective and experience is nice. You don't shy away from hard topics. You simply speak of the world as you understand it."

"If that is enough," Eren said plainly with a tiny shrug.

"It is. So, Senpai, I hope you don't mind if I visit you sometime? To talk?"

Eren pursed his lips at the title but didn't say anything. He just nodded.

Yuuto hadn't called him his senior out of familiarity or obligation. He called him Senpai, not because the boy was older, but because Eren Yeager was farther down the path than Kiba Yuuto.

The Knight didn't know if his path would lead to the same destination as the blind boy, but knowing he had someone to whom he could talk about it was reassuring.

That was the role of senior, wasn't it? To guide their juniors?

It was comforting to know that whenever Yuuto wanted to vent or needed advice, he could find his Senpai on the bench.

********

A big thanks to my beta: Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331

The alternate title for this fic in my head is something like: Retired war criminal, and Devil God gives teenage devils therapy.

Honestly, out of all the DxD characters, I think that Kiba would be the one Eren got along with the easiest. Unlike Koneko, everything is there for them to click, to connect in a way few others can. There is just too much overlap for them not to, in my book. He's often overshadowed because DxD is an ecchi harem story, but Yuuto has a lot of depth that often goes overlooked in fanfiction.

It is still early in the story, despite the next chapter marking the end of the first part of what I have planned. Most of the main cast has been introduced, though a handful are still coming. We've established the foundation and planted the seed. Now, we just need to water it and let it grow.

I will see you all next time on the bench.

PS: For those who enjoy Attack On Titan's music, the Grissini Project is currently running a Kickstarter for their Orchestral covers of the soundtrack. You can find them on Youtube to give them a listen before donating if you are interested. I listened to their work while I wrote, so I figured I'd give them a shout-out as thanks. They are very good and is some of the best covers I've ever heard. Vogel Im Kafig, in particular, is spectacular.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 3, 2023

"How are you progressing?" Sona asked her rival as she put Rias' king in check.

"Well," Rias nodded, placing her rook in the way. Sona accepted the sacrifice with her bishop, replacing the king in check. The bishop was then taken by the black knight. That was fine. "My total output has almost doubled."

Sona frowned. Rias had always been the more powerful of the pair, and it was slightly disheartening to hear that the gap had grown wider. It was for a good cause, but Sona sometimes wished she was as blessed as the redhead.

... In multiple departments.

The Sitri carefully ignored Akeno's bust as the queen refilled the King's tea cups.

She just had yet to hit her growth spurt.

"After only a few months? That is impressive."

Even as they played and talked about the situation and town, Rias hadn't stopped training. A small ball of Destruction was hovering over the chessboard as Rias kept trying to pour more and more power into it without increasing its size.

"Thanks." Rather than be buoyed by Sona's compliment and brag about it and her Peerage, Rias just pursed her lips in a frown.

"What is wrong?" Sona asked as she removed a black pawn with one of her own from the board. "You don't seem satisfied."

"It's just not enough." Rias shook her head in frustration. Her distraction cost her her knight. "Koneko felt his Ki again while she was napping with him yesterday. He's getting worse."

"How much worse?" Sona asked the white-haired girl sitting on the nearby sofa.

"... Ten percent?" It was half asked, as putting numbers on this sort of thing was always finicky. Still, for it to be that noticeable...

"Tomorrow is the year anniversary since I met him," Sona sighed. "Even with all his exercise, Ki, and the healing, he's noticeably skinnier."

A year. A short yet long time.

What had started as taking a student as practice for her dream and curiosity had turned into trying to keep her friend alive.

Some days, Sona resented that she couldn't do more. She didn't regret reincarnating her Peerage, but she did wish she had enough pieces that it would be her, not Rias, who had the best chances to bring Eren back.

As it was, all she could do was provide limited healing and keep the territory under control to give Rias as much time as possible.

"There's only so much I can do with only holding his hand," Rias pouted. "I need more skin contact. Maybe I should visit him in bed sometimes?"

"That's a surefire way to destroy any trust he has with you," Sona said wryly, well aware of how little shame Rias had about nudity taboos. It wouldn't be so bad if the entire Gremory family didn't share that same trait.

There were reasons Sona never went to any more sleepovers at Rias' place.

"I know," Rias pouted, crossing her hands under her bust. "I am just trying to find a way to get more time. I am wasting so much already. And my family has been pushing things again now that I am going to be a senior. I had to spend all of Saturday arguing with my father. An entire day gone! Just to remind him, I want to decide my own partner."

"Any luck on that front?" Just because the redhead had been focusing on growing her power didn't mean Rias had forgotten the marriage that loomed over her head.

"Maybe," Rias sighed. "There are a few promising candidates among the students. But they are unawakened, so I can't know who can help and who can't. I can't waste my Pieces. I can't."

"The longer you wait, the less time you will have to train them," Sona cautioned.

It was a dilemma all High-class devils faced when they gained their Evil Pieces.

Do you invest early, giving time to train at the cost of weaker pieces or fewer total numbers due to needing multiple for one person? Or do you wait till you are stronger and thus can reincarnate stronger people with less cost?

Every devil only got fifteen Pieces, except for rare trades; they were stuck with their choices for life.

Rias had played it fast and loose when she was younger. It had worked out for her so far, but the current situation made the dilemma even more difficult for the redhead due to the Sword of Damocles above her head and Eren's.

Sona didn't have that problem. She had a process for her selection of Peerage members. Potential was one thing she looked for, but so were group cohesion, complementary personality traits, and willingness to support her dream.

She never invited anyone to join without deep thought, investigation, and an interview if possible.

"I know," Rias sighed, and Sona took her king in a checkmate. The Gremory groaned, and Sona smiled slightly. "Enough about that. What's been going on with you?"

"Getting the situation for the new school year." It was Sona's turn to sigh. "I don't know what is worse, the Fallen requesting permission to stay for a few months or the dozen complaints about the perverted trio coming back. At least we can kill the former if they violate the cease-fire. I am seriously considering not letting those three come to Kuoh for their junior year."

"I think they're funny," Rias said with a smile. "It's refreshing to see humans so open about their desires."

"Some of us value our privacy, you exhibitionist," Sona said with a glare. "Between them, paperwork, admissions, complaints, and budgets, I am half tempted to drown the student council room in water."

"Ara? Naughty words like 'exhibitionist.' Threatening destruction of school property. Should the Student Council President be saying all that? You are setting a bad example for us, Kaichou."

Sona sent Akeno a death glare as the Queen giggled. Then her eyes turned back to Rias as the redhead also laughed.

"It's your own fault," Rias laughed unapologetically. "You are the one who volunteered for the extra work."

"I need to learn to do it all for my dream," Sona defended herself. "This will be my last year in high school, and I will be too busy during college to learn these administrative tasks."

"Uhuh," Rias nodded, still chuckling. "And it has nothing to do with your pride."

"Better prideful than a lazy nudist."

"Better a lazy nudist than a control freak."

"Better a control freak than a ginger cow."

"Better a ginger cow than a pancake."

Both teenage girls glared at each other as they devolved into familiar arguments, teasing, and needling.

Koneko watched them, munching on some sugar cookies she shared with Yuuto, while Akeno giggled like the chaos gremlin she was.

*********

"""""Surprise!"""""

Instantly, Eren shot up, hand pulling on the handle of his cane as he drew a sword and swung.

"Woah!" Yuuto muttered as he dodged out of the way in surprise. Thankfully, Eren was human, so even surprised the Knight managed to avoid the blade with his speed.

""Eren!"" Rias and Sona shouted in surprise, and the blind boy froze, blade pulled back for another swing.

"Souna? Rias?" Eren asked as he collapsed back to the bench. He kept his hand on his drawn sword. "What are you doing? What is going on?"

"A surprise party," Akeno chuckled a bit nervously. "Though I think we were the surprised ones."

"What are you doing with a sword on school property?" Sona asked severely, sending him a glare he couldn't see.

"Japan doesn't allow guns," Eren said plainly as if it explained everything before moving on to the more important part. "A surprise party? What for?"

"It's been a year since you came to Kuoh," Rias said cheerfully, entirely moving on from almost getting her head cut off. "Since you never told us your birthday, we decided to celebrate today."

Koneko blew a flat note on her little party kazoo to punctuate Rias' words.

The file didn't have his date of birth, just the day he had been left on the church's stoop. Celebrating that would probably be in bad taste.

"What?" Eren asked, completely baffled.

For the ordinarily unflappable man to be so out of it was a sight that had everyone present smiling.

"We brought cakes," Koneko said, eyeing the deserts hungrily.

There had been a candle on one of them, but that had been sliced by Eren's swing, so Akeno tossed it away.

"What?" Eren sounded like a broken record now, and a few of them chuckled this time at how flat-footed he was acting. Even Sona, who was still glaring at the sword, smiled slightly.

"It is also to celebrate Koneko's first day of high school this week," Rias continued with a note of pride. "Just a little get-together of friends before the new school year."

Koneko pumped a fist slightly as Rias ruffled her hair as she blew another note.

Her growth spurt was coming. She could feel it.

"I... see," Eren said hesitantly, finally lowering his sword. "Congratulations Koneko."

"It's cool," she said simply. "We have vanilla strawberry and chocolate fudge. Which do you want?"

"Uh... vanilla?" Eren half asked, still clearly out of it after suddenly rousing from his nap and the surprise party.

"Can I see your sword," Yuuto asked as Rias took utensils and plates from the basket as she sat on the bench.

"Don't think I will forget that you brought it onto school grounds," Sona cautioned as Eren slid it into the cane and held it out. "You could hurt yourself and those around you with that thing."

"The only ones near me are you guys, and you usually don't pull stuff like this."

There were a few nervous chuckles.

Maybe suddenly waking up the ex-child soldier with shouting hadn't been such a good idea.

"It's a good blade," Yuuto said as he examined the sword. It was a style that tingled his senses, but he couldn't place it.

It was straight to fit in the cane and flat for slashing, not stabbing. Only two fingers wide, it wasn't a weapon designed to clash with others, it would break too quickly, but it was deadly sharp. A weapon for sudden surprise attacks and cutting flesh.

The only ornamentation on the otherwise plain and flat sword was the two stylized wings, one white and the other blue, carved into the handle.

"Thank you," Eren said as the Knight handed it back. "It was a gift."

"Here," Koneko said, placing a saucer with cake in his hand and putting a fork in the other. Then she returned to her own, much larger pieces.

"It's good," he said simply as he took a careful bite. Clearly, he was still processing what was happening as he made slow, almost awkward movements.

"Fufufu, I made it myself," Akeno said with pride, and Eren gave her an acknowledging nod.

"When is your birthday?" Rias asked. "We'll throw a proper party then."

"March 30th," Eren said with a shrug. "But you don-"

"What!" Rias stood in a flurry.

"Are you being serious?" Sona asked with a frown.

"What's wrong?" Eren asked, setting down his cake after only taking a few bites.

"...Are you aware of what day it is today?" Akeno asked.

"Sunday."

"Sunday, March 30th." Akeno corrected.

"Oh," Eren said plainly. Then he picked up his saucer and started eating his cake again.

"'Oh?' That's all you have to say? 'Oh.'" Rias was gesticulating wildly. "It's your birthday! I should have gotten you a gift. Or we could have gone to a park. Or had a proper party at the clubhouse! You only turn nineteen once!"

"Eighteen," Eren corrected her simply.

"You told me you were seventeen on the day we met," Sona accused. "You never said anything about your birthday!"

"It's not important." Eren shrugged again. "It's just another day."

"It is important," Akeno chastised him. "If not for you, then for others who know you. A celebration of the day a loved one came into the world. If you do not wish to have a large party, that is fine." Rias looked like she would protest, but the Queen shot her a look. "But you should spend a birthday with people you love."

"I... suppose," Eren said reluctantly.

"Do you have something against birthdays? Or were they not celebrated in your culture?" Yuuto asked, munching on his own slice of vanilla cake.

"It wasn't unheard of," Eren shrugged. "But either I was too young to remember, food was tight, I was in training, or on a mission of some sort. With everything that happened, we never really took the time to celebrate that kind of thing. Our parties were for victories, for survival, and even then, they were bittersweet. Memorials. Too many dead."

"So you never had a real party? Just have fun and be happy?" Rias asked with a frown. Her and Sona's birthdays were usually extravagant festivals put on by their families. Their Peerage, while not to the same degree, was still doted on, so they were large affairs hosted in the underworld. "One where you can just be happy, play some games, sing and laugh?"

Eren froze, cake halfway to his mouth.

It was like all sound ceased at that moment. Like the very world was holding its breath.

"Eren?" Sona asked as the mood in the clearing shifted.

"There was... one," Eren said, his voice thick with so much entangled emotion that even Koneko paused her eating to look at him. "It wasn't a birthday thing, though. Wasn't even planned."

The group of young devils shared a look. Clearly, they had stumbled, inadvertently, on heavy ground.

Did they let it pass and hope the awkwardness faded, or did they press to learn more about their enigmatic friend?

"Tell us about it," Sona gently coaxed.

For a long moment, there was silence, as if Eren would hold this secret tightly to his chest as he did so many others.

As if he couldn't trust them yet with such a memory.

Then he spoke, words tinged with a deep longing, filled with love, affection, and nostalgia.

And guilt.

There was so much guilt it clogged his throat tight.

"I had rescued a young boy from a beating," he narrated, voice distant as the words came out in halting steps. "Ramzi. A nomad travelling with his family. A thief. He took me back to their camp. My comrades joined me. We laughed. We sang. We drank. We ate. It was so different from everything we had ever known. We were so happy. For a fleeting moment, I thought..." He trailed off as if the next words were too painful to speak.

But someone there had experience with this kind of thing. Who cared enough not to let Eren Yeager wallow in his painful memories alone.

"What did you think, Eren," Rias asked, resting a caring hand on the dying boy's arm.

"That I could run away," he admitted as if confessing a great sin. "Leave it all behind. Far from war. Far from death. Leave all my responsibilities behind. Live out the few years I had left in peace and happiness, even if I knew doing so would doom my friends without me. Four years. That was all I wanted. Four years. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to kill people. That night, all I wanted was four years with the woman I loved."

There was a collective intake of breath.

Eren had never spoken of love before.

Never even hinted at romance or experience in such. To know he once had someone like that and never spoke of it...

Eren was prepared to die alone on a bench on the other side of the world from everything and everyone he had ever known.

It didn't take a genius to know this story didn't have a happy ending.

"What happened?" Sona asked just as gently as her rival, though her hand fell on the boy's shoulder.

"Three words," Eren rasped. "That's all I needed to hear from her. Three words, and I would have left everything behind. All my plans, my revenge, my rage, my freedom, all of it. Three words, and I'd dedicate my last four years to making her as happy as possible in the time I had left. Three words, and I would have hope. She told me three words, but they were not the ones I wanted to, needed to, hear. I was trapped by my own hand and knew I would... We could never..."

Nobody said a word as Eren took a deep breath that could have been mistaken for a sob.

"I left the next day," he continued. His voice was dead. Completely flat once more as if all the emotion of the last few minutes had been an illusion. "Nothing could stop me then. My plan went off without a hitch. Everything was exactly as I wanted. I fought my friends to do it. Sasha died."

Sona gasped lowly, but her hand remained tightly on his shoulder.

"So did Hange. And others. So many others. Captain Levy was handicapped. So many of my other comrades died in the infighting. And I don't even know if most survived after... After. But they weren't the only victims. So many more innocent, guiltless lives were lost. Ramzi. His friend Halil. His grandfather. Everyone who was with us that night. Who had taken us in, laughed and sang with us. Many more whom I never knew. So many. All dead. All at my hand. Trampled under my feet like bugs into the mud. I... I killed them all."

Eren could say no more.

The Sitri report had nothing on this, this attack or plan or whatever it was. Which meant only one thing.

There had been no survivors.

Nobody else said anything, either. They just kept their hands on the blind boy, reassuring him that they were there.

They were good kids. Despite being devils, they were not murderers or soldiers. They wanted to go to school with their friends. They wanted to live their lives, grow up, fall in love and fulfill their dreams.

They had been hurt by the world, and were not normal by any stretch, but they were good kids.

Eren Yeager was a monster.

If what he had just confessed was true, then he was a murderer who had killed not just his enemies but also his allies and an unknown number of innocent lives. A killer who sacrificed countless lives for his goals.

A Devil worse than actual devils.

But feelings don't care about morality.

They stayed. They, with their silent presence, continued to reassure Eren.

That he wasn't alone.

That he, too, despite the terrible deeds done, was cared for.

There is no complete evil. There is no absolute good.

There are only people.

Even the Devil can be loved.

The cakes sat forgotten as white bandages dampened with tears.

A year was such a short yet long time for the boy on the bench.

********

Thanks to my beta: Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331

Sometimes, something simple, innocuous and entirely mundane can change your world. It comes out of nowhere and destroys us.

A well-told story. A party with friends. A hand extended in kindness.

Something what means nothing to others can mean everything to us. That human experience unites us.

We are born alone. We die alone.

We must never live alone.

This ends the first part.

I'll be waiting for you all, next time, on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 5, 2023

Rias Gremory stared at the cooling corpse of Issei Hyoudou.

Crimson stained the area.

Blood had stopped flowing from the gaping wound in his chest as the heart stopped beating. Blood still pooled below his body, seeping into the dirt below in ugly splotches.

Regret welled up within the heiress as she stared at the body of her junior.

She had been so focused on training herself and her Peerage, on getting strong enough to reincarnate Eren, that she had let the task of ruling Kuoh fall to the wayside.

Issei had paid the price.

The boy had been a pervert and a nuisance to many, but he hadn't deserved this. Didn't deserve to die, stabbed to death in a public park and left to rot in the open for the morning birds to feast on.

His parents didn't deserve to stay awake at night, wondering where their boy was, not knowing he would never return home.

Rias could have stopped this.

Could have kept a closer eye on the Fallen in her territory. She might have gotten here in time if she had dedicated her forces to their appropriate duty instead of having familiars watch over Eren and focusing on training.

It was pure luck that Issei had a flyer to summon her in his last moments. After handing most of her duties off to Akeno and Sona, this was only the second time she had been summoned. He must have had an enormous desire to live in his last moments.

A part of Rias wanted to blame Sona, but she knew that was unfair.

Unlike Rias, the Sitri was fully occupied. She was busy with the Student Council affairs and the additional duties of running the school, and she also had to handle her own Peerage's training, education, and recruitment. And she was helping lighten Rias' burden when it should have been them both ruling Kuoh.

Another part of Rias tried to deny responsibility in this matter.

Yes, the fallen had shown interest in Issei, but killing him was utterly outside their standard behaviour.

For the last few decades, the Grigori had been on a hiring spree, snapping up every Sacred Gear holder they could find and recruiting them to their side. It was concerning, as it seemed like they were building an army, but the fallen organization hadn't made any hostile moves, so the cease-fire held.

For a group of fallen angels to kill a Sacred Gear holder on devil territory, one unfamiliar to the supernatural and with as little potential as Issei seemed to have, was so out of character that Rias felt it was completely reasonable to not expect this to happen.

All those reasons and more did not change the guilt and responsibility Rias felt as she looked at the unblinking eyes of a teenage boy who never got to live a full life.

With a long sigh, Rias internally cursed her kindness.

Once again, it was going to get her in so much trouble.

With a wry grin, Rias placed the pawn on the dead boy's heart and went through the motions and words of the ritual to bring him back to life as a reincarnated devil.

If there was one thing hanging out with Eren had taught her, it was to take responsibility for her faults.

And yet, nothing happened.

Blinking in surprise, the Gremory looked down at the boy.

Then she tried again with two pawn pieces.

That failed as well.

Finding Sacred Gears was in no way an exact science to the magical community. If it was, they'd know who had one of the Longinus as soon as they were born.

A big part of it was a simple 'feel.' Koneko was one of the best sensors around, and she had said Issei's aura was absolutely pitiful. Less than a devil child's.

Had she gotten lucky again? Could it be that Issei's Sacred Gear was powerful enough to make up for his absolute pitiful reserves of power? That had been the limiting factor in why she hadn't approached him before, despite seeing hints of a Gear.

Sometimes that happened, where a Sacred Gear was so unique that its abilities did not translate into power that could be felt but in some sort of utility that was extremely useful despite their low output.

The idea that Issei Hyoudou, one of the perverted trio and all-around average human, could have a Sacred Gear based on growth did cross her mind, but the most common of those types, Twice Critical, would not require multiple pawns from her after her recent increase in strength.

Rias couldn't think of others that would explain such a low beginning output yet still have enough potential to require three pawns from her.

Well, that wasn't strictly true.

There were two Sacred Gears that fit that bill perfectly, but the idea that Issei Hyoudou could have one of the Twelve Longinus was even more unlikely than the thought of Eren suddenly breaking into song.

For a moment of brief hope and a giggle at the mental image, Rias replaced the pawns with her last Knight, worth three pawns, and went through the process again.

Still, nothing happened.

Rias' mood fell back down to the bottom as she replaced the Knight piece with her last Rook.

A Rook was worth five pawns. If even this wasn't enough to reincarnate Issei, Rias didn't know what she would do.

She still had to save as many pawns as possible for Eren.

If Issei was worth six or more pawns, would she let him die to try and save Eren?

Even knowing there was an excellent chance the sickly boy would still turn her down, even if she became strong enough in time?

Issei was an innocent if mischievous teenage boy whose greatest crime had been peeping. His Sacred Gear had to be incredibly powerful to make up for his own lacking abilities. He might even be the key to breaking off her engagement. Given that she still had years before the due date, it would be plenty of time to train him to a useful level, regardless of his Gear.

Eren Yeager, by his own admission, was a mass murderer who had killed innocent and guilty alike. Even if he was reincarnated, it would be years before he was 'useful' with his Ki. Touki and Senjutsu just took longer to train than almost everything else by their nature. Her cousin had been trying for years without success.

Issei might not deserve to die, and Eren might not deserve to live. Both came from vastly different backgrounds.

The choice between the two was evident.

From a strategic standpoint.

From a moralistic standpoint.

Would Rias Gremory let Issei Hyoudou die for only the possibility of saving her friend?

Guilt reaffirmed its ugly head as the answer came to Rias.

Yes.

She would let Issei die if it gave Eren a chance to live.

The intelligent answer was Issei.

The one Rias Gremory chose, in her heart, was Eren Yeager.

Rias Gremory, for all her youthful cunning and ambition, had never chosen based on strategy or morals.

At her core, Rias Gremory was a greedy devil who would choose her family, her Peerage, and her friends over morals, herself, or even the world.

It was no wonder she got on so well with the Devil.

If the Rook piece failed, she would let Issei die.

Yet, Rias Gremory was still a lucky girl.

The Rook sank into the chest of the dead boy as he glowed red in the crimson light of the Gremory magic circle.

Rias breathed a sigh of relief as the hole in Issei's chest knitted itself together. A healing process based on Phenex tears and one of the reasons Evil Pieces were so valuable. It would see Issei in perfect physical shape in a few moments.

Picking him up quickly over one shoulder, Rias teleported him to the address listed in his wallet. A light touch of hypnosis on his parents sent them to bed early after getting directions to his room.

She needn't have bothered. Only one room was covered in anime posters and porn magazines.

Rias did spare an appreciative glance at his collection of figurines. She'd have to ask where he got that rare Goku. Most depicted either black hair Goku or post-Super Saiyan.

A mid-transformation figurine was pretty rare, and the hall at her family's home dedicated to her hobby had more than enough shelves left for one of her own.

Her job done for the night, Rias returned to her nightly training.

Only very rare cases required her direct attention regarding a summons. An hour had passed between getting called and getting Issei settled in his bed. No significant time had been lost, and now she had another cute Rook to join her little family.

A good night, despite the tragic start.

Tomorrow, she'd call him to the club room and give him a basic explanation of his new situation. She'd also need to start getting the Grigori to recall their agents. It would take a long, convoluted string of messages passed between intermediaries that Rias wasn't looking forward to.

Both factions were technically still at war, even if they were in a cease-fire.

Still, she and Sona couldn't tolerate them killing people in her territory. They might get away with it this time due to Issei not even being a contractor, but it would send the wrong message to the vultures that watched the two heiresses if it happened again.

And Issei deserved some justice.

Guilt, gratitude, and enthusiasm rose within Rias at the thought of her newest servant as she reappeared in her training grounds.

Issei might not have been as close to her as Eren was, but now he was her newest Rook. That could change as they spent more time together. They were family now, after all.

Rias didn't even want to think about how much Issei would have cost her if she had tried reincarnating him before she started training in earnest. It would have cost at least seven pawns if not all eight.

She might not have been able to at all, leaving a boy to die due to her inattention.

And yet...

The self-reflections of the night continued to weigh on her.

Rias Gremory didn't think of herself as a bad person. She hadn't been lying when she talked about being a 'good' devil. The Gremory family was famous for treating their servants well, but Rias was incredibly kind even among them.

Some chalked it up to youthful nativity that would change with age, while others saw it as a symptom of the peace the current generation faced. Either way, compared to most devils, Rias Gremory was practically a saint.

And yet...

That kindness had never cost her anything, she realized now.

It might have if her luck hadn't been so strong. Sometimes, she suspected her brother or family of orchestrating things to her benefit. Still, baring the situation with Koneko, none of her other servants had shown any sort of manipulation. In fact, in the case of Yuuto and Gasper, her family had been actively against their reincarnation.

For Rias, kindness usually came with rewards rather than costs.

But tonight, she had confronted a part of herself she didn't think she liked.

Even when she had first approached Eren, she had expected to be able to reincarnate him with one pawn. His sickness and her family's rejection of him would have hurt, but his experience would have been worth such a paltry cost to her.

At least, that was how she justified it to herself looking back.

It would have been a price, but not a large one.

Choosing Eren over Issei, when it had been partly her fault the perverted boy had died in the first place, had been eye-opening.

Words spoken a year ago floated to the forefront of her mind.

"When someone is a good person, it just seems to mean someone who's good for you. Nobody's good to everyone. So if someone doesn't help me, they're a bad person."

Did it matter if she wasn't a good devil?

As she destroyed another of the training blocks, each as dense as an entire mountain condensed into the shape and size of a human body, Rias let her frustration at herself flow out.

Things had worked out this time, too, and if she continued to work hard, everything would turn out well in the end.

Rias Gremory would make sure of it.

********

"How do you do it?"

"Hm?"

Rias took a moment to think about her words. The question had slipped out almost unconsciously as she packed up her manga for the night.

Questions about Issei, herself, her actions, and her guilty conscience had plagued her all day. She had tried to proactively address all she could to take her mind off the subject.

Sona knew about the Fallen's actions and her newest Rook.

Rias had started the process of having the Grigori either remove their agents from the town or having them declared as rogue agents.

She had introduced Issei to the club, explained the basics of being a devil, and gave him the tutorial on the new world he had found himself in.

Issei had been a bit out of it. He had died the night before, after all, but the mentions of High-Class devils getting peerages and the possibility of a harem had the boy as motivated as she had ever seen anyone.

Then, they had set about trying to manifest his Sacred Gear.

That was partially why she was so late to meet with Eren today.

It looked like a regular Twice Critical, but it couldn't be. Not with the cost of reincarnating Issei. So that left...

Had she been willing to let a Longinus slip through her hands, of becoming the first devil to reincarnate a Dragon Emperor, all so she could potentially reincarnate one dying boy? One who might reject her?

Once again, once Rias searched her heart, she had found the answer, and it continued to torment her.

"Your choices," Rias ended up saying. "How do you know when you make the right ones?"

"You don't," Eren shrugged. "Nobody does. Sometimes you make the right ones, sometimes you don't. Only after time has passed, at the end, do you know if what you did is correct. And sometimes, there is no right choice. I learned that the hard way."

"And if you make the wrong one? How do you deal with the guilt?"

"What is this about, Rias?"

The redhead sent Eren a smile he couldn't see at his showing of concern.

"I have a new club member," she started to explain. Eren nodded for her to continue. "I'll introduce him to you later. He's... lively."

The idea of the perverted Issei Hyoudou and the sombre Eren Yeager sitting and talking on this bench tickled Rias' funny bone.

"And you feel guilty towards this boy?"

"Yes," Rias admitted easily. Baring the supernatural, she had no secrets from Eren these days. "He was hurt badly due to my inattention. His invitation to the club was partly to make up for it. We are quite popular, you know?" She bragged with a smile.

Eren didn't smile.

"Do not let guilt make your decisions," he cautioned. "Taking responsibility is important, but never let it exceed your own actions. If you take responsibility for other's actions, you are absolving them of their own sins."

"Speaking from experience again?" Rias couldn't help but ask, always eager to learn more about the boy.

"Not mine," Eren shook his head. "I took responsibility for my actions in the only way I knew how. Years ago, a man felt so guilty for the crimes of his ancestors that he decided that not only should he pay the price, but untold innocent people should as well. He had options, so many possibilities, but he chose one of the worst because of his guilt. But Fritz's," Eren practically spat the name, venom lacing his voice. "Actions were his own. So are yours."

Understanding he was prodding for more explanations, Rias continued to word it as best as she could.

"I am not feeling guilty for what I actually did," she clarified. "It worked out in the end. But..." She paused, trying to find the words to put her struggle in terms Eren could understand. "Helping Issei, that's my new junior, by the way, cost me nothing. But it could have. And if it did, I don't think I would have helped him. And, I guess I feel guilty about that. And I wonder if I can call myself kind, good, nice, or anything like that if I only do those things when they don't cost me anything."

Eren was silent, and Rias appreciated that he gave her worries appropriate thought.

"I don't understand the issue," he eventually said. Rias frowned at him but let him continue. "You know my thoughts about 'good' people, but you are you, not me. If being kind or good is important to you, then yes, you will have to pay a price for that. But that is how life is. Everything has a cost, whether in time, resources, or life itself."

"I know that," Rias sighed, frustrated that Eren wasn't seeing the problem. "It's just... what if, next time, I have to pay something I am not willing to pay? Even if I want to do the right thing? Even if it's the correct choice? What do I do then?"

Eren continued to frown in thought.

"I still don't get it," he admitted but held up a hand to stop her from saying anything.

It smacked her in the face.

"Sorry," he apologized, a hint of sheepishness in his normally placid voice.

"It's fine."

It hadn't hurt at all, and it was her fault for sitting so close to him to hold his hand and press into his arm to get more skin contact to heal him. If he cared at all about her prodigious breasts pressing into him, he never commented.

"Anyway," he continued. "As I said, I still don't get the problem, but I can give you my own advice and the advice of my friend."

"Your friend?" Rias asked, hoping to get a more specific answer.

Sometimes, Eren spoke of people, places, and events they hadn't been able to track down. They had gotten a clue recently when he had mentioned 'remaining four years' during their surprise party, but they hadn't been able to link that time frame to a concrete event.

The more information he provided, the better their chance of understanding who Eren actually was and what he had been through.

"My best friend," Eren nodded. "The smartest man I've ever known. And one of the kindest. Despite that kindness, he used to have this saying. 'Someone who can't sacrifice everything can never change anything.' Only when you are prepared to sacrifice everything, even your humanity, kindness, and morals, can you accomplish your goals."

"So I should give up on being kind?" Rias asked.

That didn't sit right with her.

"If that's what it takes," Eren shrugged. "This is where my advice differs from his, even if he is smarter. You need to sacrifice something to achieve something, but only sacrifice what you can afford to lose. You have to choose what you absolutely cannot let go of. You hold onto that and never let it go, even if it means sacrificing everything else. Sometimes, you don't know what that is until it is time to make that choice. Sometimes, you think you know what is most important, but then you make a different choice. But, when you do, when you make that choice, make sure it is one you can live and die with. Even if it is not the kind, good, or correct choice."

"Is that what you did," Rias couldn't help but ask. "After... the party?"

"It is," Eren nodded gravely but not sadly. "I chose, knowing I was sacrificing almost everything for it. It was the wrong one from absolutely every standpoint but my own. But it was one I could live and die with."

"And they made a different choice? Your friends?" Rias asked, but she already knew the answer.

"They did," Eren nodded. He didn't sound sad, just regretful. "I could sacrifice my humanity for the future I wanted to build. They couldn't. They made a choice."

"Even if you were doing everything for them?" Rias felt infuriated at the thought that Eren, who had sacrificed so much, had been betrayed by his friends. He hadn't said as much, but she could read between the lines.

Why else was he here in Kuoh, left to die alone in exile?

"I do not blame them," Eren shrugged. "And neither should you. They made the right choice. The one I pushed them to. I am happy none of them were as monstrous as I am."

"You aren't a monster," Rias replied instantly. Eren didn't look convinced, so she plowed ahead recklessly. "That was the problem I was having. Helping Issei almost meant I couldn't help my friend. And, if it did, I wouldn't have helped him. Even if it was my fault. So I am like you-"

"Don't be like me!" Eren interrupted sternly, and her mouth clicked closed at the steel in his voice. "Never become like me!"

"But-"

"No, Rias." Eren interrupted again. "I am not someone to be admired, looked up to, or imitated. If a god exists in this world, he will ensure another Eren Yeager is never born."

"I am happy you were born!" Rias insisted, tightening her hold on his arm.

"So am I," Eren sighed, the stubbornness seeming to drain out of him as he rubbed a tired hand over his face. "This isn't me saying I shouldn't have been born. But Rias, part of the reason I did everything was to ensure nobody was forced to become like me ever again. What makes you think I'd want one of my friends to become me instead?"

Rias didn't answer.

That had been the first time Eren had ever called her a friend.

"Choosing your friends and family over strangers does not make you a bad person," Eren said, resting his other hand on top of hers so he could hold both in his hands. "Nor should you be kind to everyone equally, especially if you are faking it. That pisses me off. But you should always be aware of what you are sacrificing. It is a cold calculation. If you decide your friend is worth more than your kindness, their happiness is worth more than yours, or whatever you give up is worth it, that is your decision. I refuse to take that choice from you or from anyone. I just wish you never have to make the sacrifices needed to become me."

"But what if I have to?" Rias couldn't help but ask.

That was the source of her fear and her guilt.

Not what had happened but what could have been.

"You will make hard choices," Eren said simply as if predicting the future. "You will have to sacrifice something. That is the only way you will accomplish anything. But you will never become me. You are too kind for that. Just as they were. And I am glad for it."

Rias hadn't gotten an answer to her question.

She still felt guilty the next day when she saw Issei and sent him off on his bike to deliver flyers. Rias still didn't know if she was happy with the revaluations of who she was or what choice she would make in the future.

All she knew was that she didn't like that Eren had compared her to his old friends.

Eren Yeager clearly didn't understand how selfish a Gremory devil could be, but he'd learn.

Rias Gremory would never give up on her friends. Not on her family, her Peerage, or the boy waiting on the bench.

********

Thanks to my beta: Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331

We're officially in canon time now, and things will both speed up and slow down, story-wise. I mentioned in the last chapter that it was the end of part 1. That doesn't mean in story length or even chapter numbers. I'm dividing this story in my head based on key moments rather than length.

Boosted Gear was worth 7.9 pawns for Rias (A powerful young devil with enormous potential), and Issei was worth .1 pawns. That was the only reason she could reincarnate him in canon, and (as far as I am aware) no other Boosted Gear holder ever became a devil.

For those who hope I will Issei bash or do something similar, I am sorry to disappoint you. I stick as closely to cannon characteristics as possible, the good and the bad. His character is worth exploring, and I can go deeper into the others, too. Also, don't expect me to have Eren suddenly become someone else to shoehorn him into canon situations.

Finally, I have been getting a lot of questions regarding 'fanon' and such about DxD. As I mentioned, I steer clear of anything that explicitly goes against canon, but the nature of DxD is such that it was written with barely any long-term planning, unlike AOT.

Take the Riser situation. It occurs in volume 2, and it is mentioned that it was pulled forward from initially being set after Rias finishes her education. It isn't mentioned at all in Volume 1. But it wouldn't make any sense for her not to at least think about it, have some plans about it or consider it. A lot of fanfiction paints her as lazy or unmotivated, but we have to understand that, as readers, we only see what the author writes. If he doesn't write about something in one volume, it doesn't mean it isn't happening in the background. It's just that the story isn't relevant till later.

Could canon Rias have trained more, gone actively searching for specific recruits, or dedicated her entire life to getting out of the marriage? Sure, but that would be a boring character to read about and go against every other aspect of her character. Especially with serially published stories (manga, anime, light novels), we always have to be ready to recontextualize what we know of characters in light of new knowledge.

Here is an example: From the position of knowing the ending of AOT, knowing that it is a future explicitly designed by Eren and Ymir, reread the manga or rewatch the anime. If you do that, almost all the questions and problems most have about the story are easily answered. (Not all of them. There are still issues, but they are small compared to the most glaring ones people point to.) (I highly recommend doing this anyway. It is even more enjoyable when you know the end, as you see the secrets Isayama hid along the way and get the subtext instead of just what is explicitly stated.)

Either way, I hope you will continue to visit me on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 10, 2023

"Buchou means well," Kiba told Issei as they walked through the small forest behind the Occult Research Club. "She's not trying to limit your freedom or anything, but going near a church like that is risky. Devils, angels, and fallen angels have been at war for thousands of years. Even now, during a cease-fire, it isn't rare for each side to kill the other with the appropriate pretense."

"I was just helping Asia," Issei defended himself with a frown at the blond boy.

The Damn Handsome!

"Who is the enemy," Kiba pointed out, but not unkindly. "If you had actually stepped foot on church soil, then any priests would have an excuse to kill you, and there would be nothing Rias could do to get justice for you without restarting the war or putting all of us at risk. It's the perfect place to lure a new devil to kill them before they grow in power."

"I don't understand all this!" Issei rubbed his hair with frustration. "It wasn't some sort of trap! Asia wouldn't hurt a fly. She was super kind. She healed this kid in the park and didn't even complain when his mother was rude."

"Healed?" Kiba paused in his tracks. He stared at the other boy with an intensity that Issei didn't like.

Issei wasn't like that. He liked boobs!

"It was just a scrape," Issei shuffled uncomfortably under the blond's gaze. "Said it was a blessing from god- ow! Gah, I'm still getting used to that. Anyway, it's a Sacred Gear, right? Like mine?"

"Probably," Kiba said absentmindedly, seeming lost in thought with a deep frown. "But healing Sacred Gears are rare. As in 'only a few every generation' rare. For the church to bring one to Kuoh, and with the Fallen in town..." Kiba trailed off in thought, and this time, Issei's shuffling was for an entirely different reason.

Would you die for me?

A phantom pain lanced through his chest even though the wound had healed days ago.

"Anyway," Kiba shook himself out of his thoughts. "I'll tell Rias about this later. For now, you need to be aware that just because someone from the church seems nice doesn't mean they are. You only spent a bit of time with her. Asia could have been faking it, trying to get you to lower your guard."

"But... aren't nuns supposed to be nice?" Issei tried to dredge up what little he knew of Christianity.

Most of his exposure to nuns came from porn.

While Issei wasn't the brightest, even he knew porn was not reality, so he delved back to his childhood. His friend had been Christian, but most of the lessons and lectures had flown over his head in favour of playing games. He remembered some lessons about the bible and stuff, but it had never seemed important.

When would you need to use biblical knowledge in daily life if you didn't believe it?

"It is not as simple as that," Kiba explained patiently. "Not all devils are bad. There are some bad apples, and you must be careful when dealing with most pure-blood devils, but some, like Buchou, are kind. The church are not the good guys either." Something in the Knight's voice caused Issei to flinch. "They've done terrible things. Everyone knows about the crusades and witch hunts, but they've gotten away with much worse in the supernatural world that's never taught in school."

Issei was sure Asia wasn't like that. Something about the girl, a vulnerable nativity, convinced Issei that the blonde nun wouldn't hurt anyone.

But Kiba had never met her, and Issei didn't know enough about the subject to argue the point.

On top of that, Kiba was trying to help Issei, to teach him about this world he had been thrown into as he had been doing all week.

It had been Kiba who met him the day after his reincarnation. Issei had been searching desperately for proof that Yuuma had been real, and Kiba brought him to Buchou, who explained things.

Now Issei Hyoudou, one of the perverted trio, was part of the famous Occult Research Club and working on the basics of being a devil to become a High-class devil and gain a peerage.

Issei now had a viable path to becoming a Harem King!

And the other boy in the club had been the most helpful of his new companions so far. Kiba spent time guiding his fellow second year, answering his questions, and helping him try to practice with his Sacred Gear.

It had been Kiba who helped the pervert teleport to his first contract and waited outside while Issei tried, unsuccessfully, to make his first deal.

When Issei had asked why the boy was doing all this, Kiba had given that damn handsome smile, shrugged his shoulders, and said something about 'getting to know a new comrade' and a few light mumbles under his breath.

Issei appreciated the sentiment, even if he didn't know what 'weights' had to do with anything.

Issei would have also preferred it if Himejima-sempai or Buchou guided him. They had magnificent oppai. But they seemed super busy, so he didn't hold it against them.

Koneko-chan was super cute too, but she didn't seem to do much. And she was brutal in calling him out.

Despite being a Damn Handsome, Issei could grudgingly say he was coming to like Kiba.

So he followed the blond when he asked Issei if he had any free time.

Since he didn't know how to argue about Asia, Issei instead asked the question that had been bugging him for a while.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to introduce you to Senpai," Kiba said, restarting his walk.

"Senpai?"

"Eren Yeager. He isn't actually a student. I just call him that. It's a bit complicated," the blond gave an awkward smile. "Think of him as our club's advisor and friend. We go to him for advice, talk, or spend a relaxing afternoon."

"A devil therapist?" Issei asked, surprised such a thing existed.

"No, Eren is human. There are devil therapists, but he isn't one. He doesn't even know about the supernatural, so don't bring it up," Kiba gave Issei a look that had the pervert nodding quickly.

"If he's normal... what advice can he give?" Issei struggled to slot this new piece of information into the puzzle that was his new life.

So much was happening so fast over the last few days.

His first girlfriend was a fallen angel who killed him on their first date.

Devils were real, and he was now one.

He had power now, some sort of secret power-up like in Dragon Ball.

The church and all its members, including the cute girl he helped, might try to kill him.

And now he found out devils went to regular humans for advice?

"You'd be surprised," Kiba's smile tightened slightly. "Eren's been through a lot. Even if you don't follow what he says, he gives us a unique perspective to understanding our problems."

"I don't know," Issei hesitated. "Most of my questions are about being a devil. I don't think he can help."

"You don't have to ask him anything," Kiba said with a pat on Issei's shoulder. "Koneko doesn't. Most of the time they're together, they're just napping and not talking. As I said, he's a friend. I just figured I'd introduce you now. Better this way than if you stumble on him by accident. The last time we surprised him... well, better he knows you just in case."

"So he goes to Kuoh University?" Issei asked, starting to get curious as they neared the halfway point between the two institutions.

And jealous.

Napping with Koneko-chan! The lucky bastard!

Issei bet he was another Damn Handsome. All the people he had met these days were either beautiful or handsome.

Issei was sure being related to the supernatural made someone at least an eight on the hotness scale.

"He's old enough but isn't currently in school," Kiba hedged. "He is still learning Japanese and isn't... traditionally educated. As I said, he's had an interesting life. If you want, I'll tell you more later, but here we are."

As they turned a corner on the path through the wooded park, Issei saw where Kiba had been leading him. It was a small clearing in the dense foliage of the trees, allowing the spring sky to shine down on a bench and its occupant.

The bench was plain and boring, consisting of wooden planks held together by iron bands. The luxurious extra amenities around it highlighted the commonness of the bench.

A canopy with a flat, retractable solar panelled roof had been set up to provide shade and give power to what looked like a small heater below the bench and a... mini-fridge? Behind the setup, a few hammocks had been strung between the trees.

It looked less like a bench in a park and more like some sort of long-term camping area set up by rich people.

But the occupant on the seat held Issei's focus more than the amenities around it.

It was an older boy, sleeping with his back reclined against the bench, a cane lying across his lap.

His facial features were obscured by thick bandages wrapping around the top half of his head. Long, dark brown hair fell to his shoulder. He wasn't wearing the Kuoh uniform but regular clothes that hung lightly on a skinny frame to be healthy.

He didn't look like a Damn Handsome like Issei had feared, but like a nursing patient who escaped the institution.

"Senpai!" Kiba called to the sleeping boy as they approached. He wasn't shouting, but his voice carried, and the blind boy woke with a start, hands tightening on his cane.

"Yuuto?" Eren asked, relaxing slightly and facing their general direction. "Who's with you? I don't recognize those footsteps."

"This is Hyoudou Issei," Kiba introduced as he gestured to Eren. "Issei, this is Yeager Eren."

"Please to meet you, senpai," Issei said with a formal bow. Then he froze and stood up straight again, feeling very foolish.

"I'm not your senpai," Eren said simply, his Japanese halting and accented but understandable. Issei noted that his voice had no particular inflection, as if he had no emotions. "Call me Eren."

"Yes, sen- Eren," Issei nodded, not used to the habit of using first names right away, but Asia had been like that too, so it wasn't entirely new.

"Issei is the newest member of our club," Kiba explained lightly as he took a seat on the bench. There wasn't a lot of room left, so Issei just stood there awkwardly rather than crowd the pair, wondering what to do with himself. "I'm sure Rias' told you all about him."

"She did spend a few hours bragging about him, yes," Eren somehow made his voice even more deadpan, but Issei couldn't help but puff his chest out in pride.

"Really?" He asked, eager to know what Buchou had told the older boy about him. He hadn't gotten a lot of time to spend with his King, even if he would love to. She was seriously hot. "What did she say?"

"That you are honest, cheerful, and have a lot of potential," Eren answered with a shrug. Issei stood taller, pride filling his chest. "Also, you are a massive pervert, want a harem, and have much to learn."

Issei wilted slightly. He wasn't embarrassed about being a pervert or his dream, but to hear it put so bluntly was kind of insulting.

Though he did agree, he had a lot to learn.

"That about sums him up," Kiba nodded with a chuckle that had Issei shooting him a glare.

He took back all the good things he had thought about the blond earlier. Raijuus should explode!

"Rias also said you got hurt recently," Eren continued.

"Ah," Issei looked to Kiba for advice on what to say, not knowing what Buchou told the young man. The blond gave a shrug. "Yes. But Buchou helped me."

"Rias said as much," Eren nodded but with a frown. "I prefer to verify things than trust one side of a story. Even if it comes from friends." Kiba's polite smile widened at Eren's words, though Issei didn't know why. "But you are alright now? Happy with your situation?"

Again, his words were halting and slow, but Issei got the gist.

Would you die for me?

"Yes!" Issei declared passionately. "I am super happy. Buchou is great and so is Himejima-sempai. Koneko-chan might have small oppai and be a little mean, but she's the school mascot and super cute. Kiba's alright, I guess, for being a Damn Handsome."

There was a pause as Eren tilted his head.

"I only understood part of that," the blind boy admitted, speaking in English to Kiba. "What does 'oppai' mean? And 'kuso?'"

"Oppai means breasts," Kiba answered without a hint of shame. "'Kuso' is a swear, though not a serious one. The best translation is 'damn.' I am not surprised you didn't learn them, given your teacher. Feel free to speak English. Issei will understand you."

"Sorry," Issei said with another bow of apology. Then he was embarrassed again since Eren couldn't see it. "I answered without thinking."

It was still hard to control Language. With Asia, it was easy since she only spoke Italian to him and one or two words of Japanese. Still, Eren had been trying to talk in Issei's native tongue with some limited success, so he had responded instinctively.

"It's fine," Eren said with a sigh. "I need the practice. But I understood enough. At least you aren't being forced into anything."

"It was a surprise to be invited," Issei admitted hesitantly, wondering what was okay to say and what wasn't. "And I am still getting used to everything. It's new, confusing, and scary. But I am happy Buchou rescued me."

"Rescued?" Eren said with a tilt of his head, and Issei winced at the slip.

"Rias found him pretty hurt," Kiba hurried to explain. "He could have died if she didn't get there in time. Thankfully, she got him to a hospital in time."

"From what she told me, she felt like it was her fault," Eren pointed out. "Did she hit you with her car? That happens a lot in Japanese schools, as I understand it."

Kiba chuckled, but Issei looked confused at the pair.

Buchou had apologized that she hadn't been paying more attention to the Fallen, but Issei didn't really understand how it had been her fault. It was Yuu-... Would you die for me?... Raynare's fault.

"Buchou helps him learn Japanese by reading Light Novels and Manga to him," Kiba explained to Issei before returning to Eren. "Despite what she tells you, a real school in Japan has very little in common with those."

Issei didn't know about that.

He was now part of a school club filled with devils after becoming one after his first girlfriend killed him. That sounded like a light novel to him.

He hoped it was an ecchi harem novel or a hentai rather than in the horror genre.

"I didn't know Buchou read manga," Issei said. "What does she like?"

"A bit of everything," Kiba shrugged.

"Rias is a massive japanophile. Has been since she was a child."

It was not Eren who spoke but a feminine voice coming from behind Issei that made him jump in surprise.

Whirling around, he noticed that Souna Shitori, the student council president, had somehow managed to sneak up on him. The other two boys didn't seem surprised.

"Kaichou," Kiba greeted as he stood from the bench. Issei echoed him a moment later.

"Souna," Eren nodded at her. "You're later than usual."

"I have a new member in the council," she apologized without actually apologizing. "He needed guidance with his tasks. Yuuto, I see you are introducing Hyoudou to Eren. Good initiative. Will you two be joining the lesson?"

"I am afraid I have more to help Issei with. I just wanted to let them meet, so I will leave you two alone," Kiba said. "Come on, Issei, let's head back to the club. I'll talk to you later, Eren."

"Very well," the girl nodded. "Let Rias know we will do formal introductions between our new members at a later point once they are both settled in."

Kiba gave a polite bow and headed back to the club room.

Issei, still surprised by the sudden and unexplained appearance of the older girl, gave a hurried goodbye to Eren and a bow to Souna before hurrying to follow Kiba.

"She goes by Souna Shitori in Japan, but her real name is Sona Sitri," Kiba said once they were far away. "She's the other devil King in Kuoh, and the Student Council is her peerage. She and Buchou are childhood friends and rivals. She rules the school by day and Buchou by night."

"Are there any more devils in Kuoh?" Issei couldn't help but ask, worried now.

"A few, but none that you need to worry about," Kiba patted him on the back. "Both of them are here to gain some independence and fill out their Peerage, so the territory is pretty much theirs until they finish their studies."

"What was she doing with Eren?"

"Teaching," Kiba said with a smile. "She was the one who first met Senpai and started tutoring him in Japanese. Don't say anything about it to her, but we are all pretty sure she has a crush on him."

"That lucky bastard!" Issei shook his fist at the sky. "A beauty like that! Gah! I am so jealous."

"Don't ever say that again," Kiba cautioned, and Issei froze at the gravity in his voice. "You shouldn't be blindly jealous of people without knowing what they went through. And definitely don't say anything like that about Eren around the others."

"Sorry," Issei said softly, chastised.

"It's fine. You didn't know," the blond sighed. "It's no secret, but Eren is sick and getting worse. He only has about a year to live."

"What?" Issei asked, shocked. "Can't Buchou heal him like she did me?"

"It's not that simple," Kiba sighed regretfully. "The short answer is that neither Sona nor Rias can make him a Peerage member at the moment. Apart from Evil Pieces, we devils have very few healing abilities. We've been looking for a cure or way to heal him for over a year now, but no luck."

"Damn, that sucks," Issei cursed. He was jealous, sure, but he didn't want people to actually die. "Do you think Asia could heal him?"

"Maybe," Kiba hedged. "I actually wanted to stay longer and let you get to know each other, but I need to talk to Buchou about that, and she'll want to hear from your perspective. As I said, healing gears are very rare. And the church is extremely protective of them. A nun healing someone on behalf of a devil? That is extremely unlikely."

"She'd do it," Issei said instantly. "She's nice like that."

Kiba didn't say anything but didn't look convinced by Issei's words.

Still, the quick introduction and departure only gave the new Rook more questions about the boy on the bench.

********

A big thanks to my beta: Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331

Fun fact: before writing DxD, Ishibumi wrote horror. It comes through with the sometimes much darker tones of the story despite it being ecchi fun.

Speaking of, writing Issei is fun. While I am not so much of him as a protagonist, as a character alone, he is a breath of fresh air. He is self-aware to a degree that most don't give him credit for. A considerable portion of the reason people dislike him is less because of his character and more because he is, unfortunately, trapped in a light novel that needs to keep things PG. I think the industry really missed out on a deep exploration of the harem genre, sexual dynamics, and societal examinations of how we contextualize 'love.'

Then again, Oppai makes brain go BRRRRRR.

This story is not about either of those two subjects. Like all the characters I choose to focus on, Issei will have his time in the sun. I do want to clarify that this unfortunately means other characters will not get much attention. I will only focus on specific characters unless I want this story to go on for 25 light novels. Unfortunately, Sona's peerage, some major cannon characters, and even some of Rias' peerage will have to wait for another fic if I decide to write one.

Either way, I hope you continue to join me on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 12, 2023

It was a scene right out of a horror movie.

The body of the client Issei had been sent to, Koneko recognized, was crucified to the wall of his house. His limbs spread wide, and his face frozen in a silent scream of pain that told her he had not died quickly.

The smell was the worst. Blood, old and new, filled the air. And that was some of the more pleasant scents.

It made Koneko angry.

Minato had been kind. Most of his requests usually revolved around having Koneko help with moving things he couldn't due to his bad back with her enhanced strength.

And he baked some fantastic macaroons.

Koneko wanted to punch someone. Minato hadn't deserved this.

The culprit was the madly cackling man waving around a light sword and gun in priestly robes, making rude gestures from behind his compatriots' backs.

Whoever this fallen priest was, he was clearly a psychopath, and Koneko shuddered at the thought of what he might have done to Issei and the girl he was blocking if Kiba hadn't been there to call for backup and Issei didn't have a Rook's durability.

Four fallen, three women and a man, stood opposite the Gremory Peerage. Issei was behind his comrades' backs, a blond nun clutched protectively in his arms as he angrily glared at the black-haired woman.

Koneko was sure Buchou had said her name at some point, but she hadn't been paying attention.

Mooks didn't get names.

"We are not leaving without the nun," the black-haired woman said with a smirk, a lance of light in her hand.

"You can't take Asia!"

"Issei!" Rias cut off the Rook with a chastising look before returning her attention to their enemies. Kiba softened the blow slightly by patting him and the blonde nun on the shoulder. Asia just watched everything with wide eyes and tear marks on her cheeks. "I am well within my rights to kill all of you right now."

"You can try, bitch," the goth lolita reject laughed derisively.

Koneko was going to punch that one's teeth down her throat.

Rias didn't get angry, at least on the surface. Koneko knew her King was absolutely livid inside but was maintaining control for the moment.

"I have already alerted your superiors of your previous actions in my territory," Rias said, her voice a careful monotone, unlike her usual passionate speech pattern. Her face was also wholly blank. "The killing of a client and harming one of my Peerage on top of it are reason enough to do whatever I wish."

Koneko smirked slightly at the unnerved look in the Fallen's eyes.

The Rook liked Eren. She really did.

But there was no denying his way of speaking could be... off-putting. Not all the time, and it was getting rarer these days, but sometimes it was like he was completely empty.

Like all joy, hate, or emotion had been drained from him by the beatings of the world.

And when that expression was directed at you? It was like your entire existence was irrelevant.

As if you were nothing but a bug to be crushed underfoot.

It made for an excellent intimidation tactic, even if Rias would have to back it up a bit more.

These fallen seemed especially stupid.

"Big talk from a bunch of kids," the man in the trench coat sneered.

Koneko had been warned about people like him. She hoped he was wearing clothes under there. She already had to deal with one pervert on a day-to-day basis... Well, two.

Akeno was a different kind of pervert.

"I will give you this last chance," Rias declared impassively, crimson orbs of destruction centimetres thick filling the destroyed living room. They floated in the air like red raindrops, and the fallen stepped back at the sight. There were hundreds of them in the destroyed room. "Leave. Leave the nun. Leave this house. Leave my territory. Leave with your lives."

The black-haired woman looked like she was going to argue, a snarl forming on her lips, but the other Fallen with blue hair placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear.

"The ritual," was all she said.

Koneko's sensitive ears picked it up, and it was likely for that reason they kept their words to a minimum, out of caution that the Peerage had someone like her. Enhanced senses weren't rare in the supernatural world.

"Fine," Head-mook snorted, whirling around and grabbing the crazy priest roughly by his neck. "We'll leave. For now."

"Hey! Let me go! I wanna gut the fucking devils! And the bitch! I want her!"

The wacko priest continued to his stream of expletives as the fallen angels carried him by the neck as they fled through the hole they made in the house when they arrived.

There was a moment of tense silence as the devils didn't relax their guard.

"Gone." Koneko eventually spoke.

Rias untensed, whirling around and pulling Issei into a hug.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, but don't scare me like that!" She chastised the Rook. Rias pulled the boy back, his face set in a derpy grin as she searched for injuries. "Are you hurt anywhere? Why didn't you run?" Eventually, she looked at her Knight when Issei continued to not respond. "Kiba, what's wrong with him?"

The blond Knight awkwardly scratched at his cheek, unsure how to reply.

Koneko didn't have that problem.

"Pervert is being a pervert."

"Oppai," Issei murmured as if in a trance, a goofy smile on his face from the hug.

Koneko felt her point had been made, so she yanked her fellow Rook away from their King. He stumbled but managed to regain himself to avoid falling to the bloody floor.

"As long as you are okay," Rias sighed with a smile before looking around. "We should leave. I'll have a few agents come through, clean up, and make an official story. Let's head back to the club."

"I'm not leaving Asia," Issei said, standing in front of the nun who had watched this interaction with confusion.

She hadn't understood the language but recognized the intent and care in the room, which was at odds with how she expected devils to act.

"Bring her along," Rias said easily. The redhead turned to the scared blonde for the first time and spoke in her native tongue. "We're not going to hurt you. Will you come with us?"

Asia looked at Issei, who nodded and stood up from her kneeling position. Blood was on her clothes, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Um," she stammered. "I don't want to sell my soul."

"We don't want your soul, don't worry," Rias reassured her. "We just want to ask some questions, that's all."

"Like why you are with the fallen," Kiba said with an easy smile. "You've been expelled, haven't you?"

"Yes," Asia said, looking dejected.

Koneko elbowed Kiba in the side for being so blunt, and the Knight grunted in pain.

"We should have killed them," Akeno argued as they left the building. Koneko could still smell the lingering scent of ozone from the Queen as they walked the streets. Teleporting with Asia wasn't possible, so they were walking as a group for safety's sake. "We had justification, and there is no way they will let this go."

"I don't want to fight in the middle of the suburbs," Rias argued back. "And not without knowing Issei's state. I am not worried about them. 'For now.' Pss. That is a mook line if I've ever heard one."

Koneko nodded sagely, glad her King was as good at identifying scrubs as she was.

"You saw how they looked at her," Akeno cautioned. "They will not leave Asia alone, no matter the warning."

"I know," Rias sighed as she slowed slightly to walk closer to Asia and Issei. The blonde flinched, but Issei tried to reassure her it was all right. "But an area filled with sleeping civilians is not the place for a showdown."

Issei gained a point in Koneko's book for how chivalrous he was being in this whole thing. Seeing how protective he was of the nun was quite cute.

That still put him at a negative nine hundred and ninety-nine points.

Out of a hundred.

"Why are they so set on you?" Rias asked the nun bluntly. "Most healing spells of the church don't work on the Fallen. What's your Sacred Gear?"

Koneko wondered if spending so much time with Eren was a good thing or not. Her King was clearly taking after him with how blunt she was being.

"Twilight Healing," the nun said softly after Issei gave her an encouraging nod.

"I see," Rias sighed as she and Akeno wilted slightly. Asia looked like she would cry, so the King hurried to answer. "Nonono, it's a good gear. Great, in fact. It's one of the best healing Gears out there. There are only a few active users, and all factions are looking to recruit people with it; it's just..."

"You can only heal injuries, right? Not diseases or sickness?" Akeno interjected, getting a hesitant nod from the nun. "One of our friends is sick. We had hoped you had a gear that could help him."

"Sorry," Asia apologized with a bow.

Now Koneko felt like they had kicked a kitten.

The others also clearly felt that way, as even Akeno looked guilty.

"I think your Gear is awesome," Issei interjected with a broad smile, trying to cheer her up. He exaggeratedly rotated his shoulder. "I don't feel any more pain after being shot."

"You were shot!" Rias whirled on her newest Rook, looking him over more intensely than before. She noticed one of the holes in his uniform, over his left shoulder, was circular and covered in blood.

To be fair, much of Issei was covered in blood from rolling around and scuffling with the fake priest before the rest of the Gremory Peerage had arrived. That hole was one of many in his clothes, and there was no wound, so Rias hadn't missed anything.

"Twilight Healing also works on devils?" Kiba asked himself, but Koneko heard him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rias fretted over Issei, poking at his body for any other unmentioned wounds. "Light energy is poison to us. Did he get you anywhere else?"

"I'm all good now," Issei defended himself with his arms raised, not looking like he minded the attention at all. A pervert's gotta pervert, after all. "Asia's got me."

Rias narrowed her eyes at the boy as if daring him to lie to her but eventually accepted his words as the truth.

"Thank you for healing him," Rias said as she bowed to the nun. "Issei's new, a bit clumsy, and a pervert." "HEY!" "But he is my cute servant, nonetheless. So thank you for taking care of him."

"Uh..." Asia stuttered, eyes wide with panicked surprise. "NO! I, uh, I mean. Issei has been very kind to me, even if he is a devil. It was just... the right thing to do." She said the last part with a flush on her face as she looked away, twiddling her thumbs in embarrassment.

"Still, thank you," Rias smiled cheerfully.

Akeno nodded in thanks as well. Kiba smiled kindly at the blonde, and even Koneko gave the girl a thumbs up.

The pervert was still a pervert, but she didn't want him to die for it.

Just get kicked in the nads a few times.

Asia looked utterly overwhelmed by this positive reinforcement, as if her worldview was being rewritten.

"See," Issei urged. "You Gear is super useful. Much better than mine."

"I think Issei's glove is cool," Asia disagreed.

"All it does is let me punch things without hurting my hand," Issei rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "And since I'm a Rook, I'm already tough enough, so it's useless."

"There, there," Rias patted his head consolingly. "You just haven't awakened it yet. Once you do, I think you will be happy with your... glove." The redhead and her Queen snickered as if they were in on a joke that the others weren't.

"Meaning?" Koneko asked with a frown, not liking being left out like this.

"I'll tell you later," Akeno smiled mischievously.

Koneko nodded. That was fine. So long as she wasn't the last to know.

"Hey! It's my Sacred Gear! Tell me," Issei protested.

"I don't want to get your hopes up, so you will have to awaken it yourself to find out," Rias denied. "I'll just tell you that Sacred Gears are known to respond to emotions. Try focusing on what you really want."

Issei took her advice to heart, closing his eyes and muttering to himself as he walked.

"Harem King. Harem King. Harem King. Harem King. Harem King. Harem King. Harem King."

Koneko sped up a bit, so she was in front of the boy and held out one of her feet.

Issei tripped, smashing his face on the pavement and getting chuckles from the rest of the Peerage.

"Issei!" Asia, on the other hand, rushed to aid the boy in rising to his feet. Her hand glowed green, and she pressed it against his face.

"Don't bother," Koneko said with an imperceptible smirk. "He's a Rook. He's not hurt."

True enough, apart from some dirt, Issei stood unharmed after his fall.

"That was mean, Koneko-chan!"

"Git good scrub."

That got a few more chuckles from the group as Asia looked on in confusion. Rias must have taken pity on the poor girl because she decided to shift the topic.

"Do you know what you want to do," the redhead asked the nun. At her bewildered expression, Rias explained. "You are technically my prisoner of war, but I don't have any plans for you. You can stay at our clubhouse in one of the spare bedrooms tonight, but eventually, you will have to decide what comes next. The fallen did not seem to want to let you go. Once they leave my territory, I'll let you go if you want to follow them. Or you can stay here."

"If I want to stay," Asia asked softly, looking at the ground. "Do I... Do I have to become a devil?"

"It would make things easier," Rias admitted. "I think you would enjoy being in my Peerage, and I want you to join us. Your Gear is very useful, and I think we'll get along. But no, it is not a requirement."

"What do you want, Asia," Issei asked with far more gentleness than Koneko thought possible from him.

"I want... I want to go to school," Asia said softly as if admitting to a sin. Then her words started to pick up speed, sounding more determined than ever. "I want to have friends. I don't want people to be mean anymore. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to return to the church with Freed, Mittelt, Kalawarna, Dohnaseek, and Raynare."

The Peerage shared small smiles at the small, simple, selfish wish.

They were devils, after all.

Granting selfish wishes was their job.

"I can arrange that," Rias smiled kindly.

"Thank you," Asia bowed, tears in her eyes as Issei cheered.

"But nothing comes for free in the world," Rias cautioned. They had arrived before school by then, making good time as the client's house was pretty close by. "There is a price for everything. I can make you a student, find you a home, help you make friends, and protect you from the fallen. But you will need to do something for me."

"Hey, that's not fair," Issei complained.

"What do I need to do?" Asia asked, eyes still wet with tears but looking far more determined than before.

"All I want you to do is to try to heal my friend. The one we told you about earlier."

"But," Asia looked sad and regretful. "I really can't heal diseases. I've tried before, but I can't."

"Maybe not," Rias acknowledged. "I just want you to try your best. Maybe you can't heal him completely, but you might be able to reverse some of the symptoms. Give us more time to find a permanent cure. Can you promise to do that?"

"I can!" Asia declared passionately. "I'll do my best. I promise."

"Wonderful Asia," Rias said gently. "I'll introduce you to him tomorrow. Until then, get some rest. Akeno, can you show her to one of the available rooms?"

"Of course," the Queen agreed. "This way. I have some old clothes that might fit you."

Asia looked at Issei briefly, but he just nodded for her to follow Akeno.

"Do you need me to teleport you home," Kiba asked Issei. "It's pretty late, and your parents will wonder why you're covered in blood. I can get you in unseen."

"Thanks, man," Issei sighed in relief. "Asia healed me, but I am wiped, and I soooo wasn't looking forward to that conversation."

"Get some rest as well," Rias frowned at the boy in concern. "If you find any other issues, let me know immediately. Rogue priests are no joking matter for new devils."

"Will do Buchou," Issei said with a salute as he and Yuuto teleported away.

Koneko was also going to head to her place but paused when she saw Rias's face as her King sat behind her desk to finish the paperwork she had been working on before getting the emergency call.

"Buchou?" Koneko asked.

"Oh, Koneko," Rias said, emerging from her thoughts. "Sorry, I thought you had left. Be safe on your way home, okay? I don't think the fallen will pull anything tonight, but be careful just in case."

The smallest of frowns crossed the nekoshou's face as she looked at her King.

"You alright?" She asked the older girl.

"Hm? I'm fine," Rias said. She didn't look fine to Koneko. "Just a letter from my parents, that's all. Issei's recruitment has some... implications I needed to inform them about. I'll give you the details tomorrow. For now, get some rest."

Despite her King's assurances, Koneko maintained a frown as she wished Rias a good night.

Her last sight of the heiress, before she left, was of Rias holding a letter in her hand. Instead of reading it, she repeatedly tapped it on her arm, lost in thought.

Rias stared out her window into the dark park and the bench that lay within.

********

A big thanks as always to my beta, Old Man of the Mountain.

It was always hinted that Rias knew Issei had Boosted Gear before anyone else, likely because of how much it cost to reincarnate him and seeing its 'base form.' And, seeing how much of a BIG DEAL it is in canon, I find it perfectly reasonable that she alerted her parents and brother about her suspicions. It would also explain how quickly the news spread.

For those curious, yes, Twilight Healing cannot heal diseases in canon. That is explicitly stated. (I don't know if Asia's balance breaker is the same since it's never mentioned.)

I won't be showing a lot of the 'canon' events, just enough to give my readers a glimpse into what changed. For example, in this world, Rias not only had the political grounding to stand off against the fallen when they attacked because she already started the process, but she was also strong enough to scare them away. Issei is also in better shape because he is a Rook, not a Pawn, so she isn't as worried.

Anyway, this will probably be one of the only times I explicitly call out what changes in my AN. Everything else will be up to you all to read and puzzle out. I just want to be clear that things will be different. More and more so as the story progresses. Simple changes now will have tremendous effects later.

The next handful of chapters are some of my favourite written so far, so I look forward to that.

I will meet you all next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 17, 2023

Akeno watched the rest of the Peerage leave the little clearing with a frown as she set about cleaning up.

Rias was consoling her new Bishop quietly as they left. Asia was particularly distraught over her failure to heal Eren despite only meeting him today.

Akeno was sad but unsurprised that even Twilight Healing, one of the best healing Gears out there, couldn't help. There had been hope, but not a lot of it.

Seeing Eren trying to interact with the naive and kind Asia had been funny, though.

The Queen got the feeling that Eren was not used to dealing with people who were genuinely that kind, as opposed to faking it as Akeno, and to a lesser extent, Yuuto did.

"What's wrong with her," Eren asked bluntly as Akeno gathered the plates and silverware they had used for their lunch. It had only been a few hours, during which they had Asia subtly try and heal the blind boy.

"Asia is a dear," Akeno lightly chastised with a chuckle. "She really was trying to help."

"I know none of you believe in that 'miracle healing' shit. I am not just going to be healed suddenly because of a religious prayer. That's not how reality works."

Well, as 'subtle' as they could be.

The official excuse was that Asia, a new student at the school and club member, had been a nun and 'faith healer' before moving here. Rias claimed it was 'worth a shot,' and despite his doubts, Eren had gone along after they all urged him to. Nothing they said was technically a lie, so even Eren, with his almost supernatural bullshit radar, hadn't caught on.

Nothing had happened.

Koneko reported no change to his life force as it continued to dwindle. Nor had his eyes healed, his strength returned, or any indication of the healing having taken place.

Akeno was seriously starting to suspect Eren wasn't simply sick but under some divine-level curse.

Only the complete absence of any magic or power around him prevented that notion. They had been around him long enough that they would have noticed even the faintest trace if it was there.

If it had worked, or at least healed the side effects, like his eyes, it would have been a perfect time to introduce him to the world of devils, magic, and so on.

Rias had a whole speech planned and everything despite considering it to be a long shot. Akeno had seen her practicing it in front of a mirror.

It mostly boiled down to, 'I am a super powerful devil heiress trying to heal you. Please don't die. And if you do die, please let me bring you back. Yadda yadda, power of friendship, yadda yadda, anime protagonist, yadda yadda, JoJo.'

It had been quite cute, even if Rias had referenced the manga, she read to Eren a bit too much, in Akeno's opinion.

Shame she didn't get to use it.

"Is it so hard to believe she simply wanted to help you?" Akeno reprimanded him again as she continued her work. "Asia is a very kind girl. She sincerely believed she should have been able to help you."

"I believe she believes," Eren answered. "But belief does not save people. Belief does not fill hungry stomachs. Belief will not kill your enemies. People do. I have seen people of faith before, and I can't stand them. 'Flock' is but another word for livestock."

Akeno didn't bother to hide a smile, knowing the blind boy couldn't see it.

Eren was sometimes more devil-like than any of them.

"If medicine doesn't work, other options should be considered. Who knows what's out there? A miracle could happen."

"I know what's out there," Eren answered plainly. "And no miracle will stop my death."

Akeno's smile faded back to a frown. Eren didn't know about magic or the supernatural, so he would understandably hold that view. But the Queen was tired of his cavalier attitude towards his impending demise.

The conversation lapsed as Akeno fished up, storing the blanket. She put the leftovers in containers for Eren to take home later.

"What's bothering you?"

"What do you mean?" Akeno asked a sudden question.

"You're quiet. You've been quiet the last few days, and so has Rias. You didn't even tease Asia and Issei today."

Akeno snorted a small, unladylike laugh.

Eren was blind and only met the nun for a few hours today, but even he could tell the girl's crush on the perverted boy.

Then again, Asia could do a lot worse.

Despite his perversion, Issei was the Red Dragon Emperor of the generation. Even if he was the weakest holder of Ddraig ever, that would still put him firmly in the Ultimate Class once he grew a bit.

On top of that, the boy was unbelievably sweet to the girl.

As in, his friends and the school would literally not believe their eyes if they saw it.

Not only had Issei largely kept Asia out of his perverted antics, but he had stood up for her and defended her against the fallen when they came to reclaim her.

Asia had tried to sacrifice herself to get them to leave him alone, but Issei had managed to awaken his Gear in time to fend them off, combined with his Rook strength and durability. He had held them off long enough for Rias and Akeno to arrive and help finish them.

Their aid and desire to stay with Issei had been enough for Asia to approach Rias about her open offer to join the Peerage.

It was an adorable story, like one of Rias' anime.

A not-so-small part of the Queen also liked the idea of the fallen being some two-bit mook in the story. Characters killed off in the first season to establish a romantic interest.

Akeno would be genuinely happy for the pair if they ended up together.

At least some people deserve to find love.

"Are you going to answer my question or sit there and sigh all day," Eren asked, tapping his cane on the ground impatiently.

"It's not my secret to tell," Akeno eventually said.

"Rias' then," Eren nodded. Akeno smiled wryly as she once more reaffirmed how sharp the boy could be. "Something to do with her family? She's been complaining about them a lot more than usual."

"It does," Akeno acknowledged but didn't provide any details.

If Rias didn't share, she wouldn't either.

"And since she hasn't told me, she doesn't think I can help with whatever it is," Eren sighed.

"It is something none of us can help with," Akeno said lightly.

No. That wasn't true.

They all could help. They could and would fight Riser in a Rating Game.

That was where this was leading, after all. It was a transparent ploy Akeno, and her King could see coming a mile away.

Rias' family was pushing the engagement forward, despite their promises to wait till she graduated, because they feared her new Peerage members.

The Red Dragon and its hosts had killed numerous members of the Phenex clan in the past, and giving Issei time to grow was a surefire way to ensure Rias was strong enough to get out of the deal by the time the original deadline arrived.

They had been content to let Rias finish her schooling, confident that the rebelliousness of youth would wear out as she grew and came to accept their decision. There had been no binding agreement for that promise, so nothing stopped them from deciding to change the date on a whim except their genuine care for their daughter and desire to have her see things their way.

The Boosted Gear changed everything.

A King with a fully realized Red Dragon Emperor in their peerage could dictate whatever they wanted in devil politics.

Someone disagrees with them, like, say about their marriage? Challenge them to a Rating Game.

That was how central the games had become to devil life.

It would be like a Satan suddenly being allowed to participate in Rating Games. Entire political careers had been built on the Rating Games.

Once Issei had a few years of experience under his belt, the Gremory would have no control over Rias. She could go centuries without marriage if she wanted, and nothing they could do would stop her. She'd just challenge her own parents to a game. It wouldn't be the first time factionalism formed within a Pillar house.

And that would ruin the Gremory.

For devils, with their abysmal birthrates, starting young wasn't just recommended. It was almost a requirement.

Just looking at Rias' parents proved it. Despite being a very loving couple over a thousand years old, they only had two children born centuries apart.

It was one of the reasons arranged marriages were so common, to ensure devils had at least one child before they inevitably did something that got them killed. When you are one of three parties in the greatest war ever fought, you need to keep up the numbers.

Especially if you are a devil with a bloodline.

For Rias, who had the Power of Destruction, one of the most coveted bloodlines in the underworld, the idea that she wouldn't have a child for centuries or millennia was terrifying for the remaining Pillar families. Already, they were being outnumbered by reincarnated devils ten thousand to one.

Rias's parents cared for her and loved her. They really did. They were kind to her, spoiled her, and took her Peerage in as family.

But they also had a duty to see that the remaining 31 Pillar houses did not shrink further. They still loved each other and had been in an arranged marriage when they were young. They did not understand her reluctance, but they were out of time to try and convince her.

So they pushed and pushed and pushed.

And now, pushing was no longer enough.

Instead of nagging, they were being more overt. Forget letting Rias graduate college. They wouldn't even let her graduate high school.

That was how terrifying a Boosted Gear holder was.

There was only one thing Rias could do now. The one recourse all High-class devils had.

A Rating Game.

Everyone knew it. The question was how long Rias could delay it. To give the Peerage more time. There were other more desperate ploys, but that was the only one that was sure to stop the marriage and not lead her into disgrace.

Right now, the entire Peerage was strong. Rias' added practice in order to grow strong enough to reincarnate Eren had spurred on the growth of the rest.

Akeno had no doubt that even without Issei or Asia, the four of them would absolutely decimate Riser's little 'harem.'

But Riser himself?

And his sister?

None of them were strong enough to ensure they'd be able to beat him enough to force him to retire. Especially not if they had to deal with his Peerage as well. Even if Rias could beat him a dozen times, it didn't matter if he healed two dozen times.

The extra power and training gave them a chance, but it was increadibly small.

If only...

"You're lying."

"Hm?" Akeno asked, having fallen into deep thought once more.

"You're lying," Eren repeated, fully frowning. "I know your bullshit when I hear it. There's something we, or at least you, can help her with, isn't there?"

"Yes," Akeno admitted with a cavalier shrug of her own. What was the harm in admitting that? Eren already knew she was a rotten, terrible woman. "There is something I could do to help my best friend. But I won't."

Safe in the knowledge that Eren couldn't see them, Akeno let her wings free.

One of them was bat-like, leathery and angular. The wings of a Devil.

The other was larger. Black as night, with soft feathers that glittered in the sun like polished obsidian.

The wings of a fallen angel.

As with every time she saw that... thing, accursed proof of what she was, Akeno could not stop her hands.

Blood flowed across her fingers as she tore fistfuls of feathers from her flesh.

The pain was an old friend.

"Why not?" Eren asked in that empty voice of his. There was no judgement in his voice but no curiosity either. Akeno didn't know what he was feeling.

All she was feeling was the familiar sting of self-disgust.

"Because I am a terrible person," Akeno said airily like she was talking about the weather, as she tore another handful of soft feathers from her wing. She was not gentle. They floated to the ground, slick with blood. "I would rather let my best friend, my sister in all but blood, be consigned to a terrible fate because I cannot stand the idea of using anything from that man. Because I am the worst woman to ever live."

"No. You are not."

"I am," Akeno laughed hollowly—another fistful. The wing was gaining bald spots now. From experience, Akeno knew she wouldn't stop until it was completely bare flesh with no feather in sight. Until there was no proof of what she was. "I am a terrible woman. The worst, vilest creature to exist. I am my father's daughter."

"The parents' crimes should never be passed onto their children," Eren sighed, unseeing the self-mutilation happening on the bench beside him. "I cannot claim to not hate people due to their ancestors or where they were born, but children are guiltless. Simply casualties in the wars and sins of grown-ups. Whatever your father did is not your fault, no matter what people have told you."

"I hate him," Akeno bit out, glaring at the boy. "I hate him. He wasn't there. My mom died because he wasn't there to protect her."

"I don't know the circumstance, so I can't say if it was or wasn't his fault," Eren shrugged.

Sometimes, Akeno absolutely despised how blase he could be. As if every story he was told was one he had heard before.

"He should have been there!" Akeno insisted, voice rising despite Eren's serenity.

"All I will say is that a husband not knowing his wife is in danger doesn't make her death his fault. Even if he could have stopped it if he were there. He didn't kill her."

There was something there.

Under the cavalier attitude and blank voice, there was something Eren was hiding. It was only because she knew him so well that Akeno could notice.

It was what prompted the next words.

"He didn't," Akeno laughed bitterly, tears of anger, loathing, and resentment filled her eyes. "I did."

Eren froze.

"What?"

"I killed her," Akeno repeated, the words falling out of her. Years of built-up guilt and disgust burst out of her. "They came for her because of me. Because she married my father and had me. They killed her because she wouldn't give me up."

At her core, Akeno was a rotten woman who hated herself more than she hated the fallen or Baraqiel.

It was her fault her mother was murdered.

Her existence had pushed the clans to send their assassins after the family while her father was away. If her parents had simply been wed and never had a child, Shuri Himejima would still have been an outcast, but she would have lived. The taint on their legacy, the mixing of 'sacred' blood with that of the fallen, had caused her death.

And now?

Now, Akeno could help Rias if she was willing to use her unique heritage.

Holy Lightning.

Baraqiel's signature ability.

It would counter Phenex's regeneration and practically guarantee their victory and Rias' freedom, turning a ten percent chance at victory into a ninety percent.

Yet every time Akeno tried to pull up that part of herself, tried to will even the tiniest of sacred energy into her electricity, all she could think of was her mother's murder, of her dying face, and the guilt would sap everything from her.

Akeno could still hear the blades entering flesh, the scream of pain, the urging of her dying mother.

Begging her to run.

To live.

In her nightmares, she was still on the streets of Japan. Barely surviving as her mother's last words rang out over and over and over in her mind.

Those were the better ones.

Others were just a repeat of the event. No changes. No embellishments.

Shuri Himejima never blamed Akeno, not even in her dreams.

The worst of the dreams was when Akeno saw what could have been. The 'what if' of her parent's lives if she had never been born.

They were happy. A loving couple living out a quiet life of seclusion.

A happy life without her.

Akeno would never use Holy Lightning. She could never use it.

Rias never forced her to or even asked her to, even after all this time. Even if it would solve her problem.

Akeno loved Rias as much as she hated herself.

Hated how her continued existence ruined the lives of those around her.

Truly, "Akeno Himejima should never have been born."

...

The punch came out of nowhere, so lost was the hybrid in her self-hatred and guilt.

Akeno flew off the bench, tumbling to the ground below, wings splayed in the dirt.

"Don't say that!" Eren shouted at her. "Don't you dare say that!"

He was standing, Akeno thought in a daze of shock.

He was off the bench.

For some reason, that fact shocked her more than the punch.

"Don't you ever say that again!"

Eren's face, the part not covered in bandages, was twisted in a snarl of fury. The greatest show of emotion Akeno had ever seen on his face.

"Just when I think you can't piss me off anymore, you go and spew this crap," Eren snarled.

His cane tapped hard on her leg to find her, and he bent down, grabbing the stunned girl by her shirt. The cane fell to the ground as he used both hands to hold her in place, a few inches from his face.

"Listen here, you pathetic woman," he growled, practically spitting on her in his intensity. "I don't care about any guilt you feel, how much you hate yourself, or whatever pathetic excuse you have for those words. That crap only matters to you. We're all guilty. But never, and I mean never, say you shouldn't have been born!!"

Eren punched her in the face again.

Akeno could have dodged it.

She didn't.

Akeno fell again as Eren continued to yell.

"No matter who you are, what you are, what you do, who you kill or don't. None of that crap matters. It didn't matter to your mom. It might not matter to your dad. It doesn't matter to Rias. I certainly don't give a shit. But no matter what, there is one thing that does."

Ah.

That face. That rage. Had that always been there?

Hiding under a man beaten by the world?

Had Eren always been... this?

"We all deserve to be born," Eren snarled, smashing a fist to his heart in emphasis. "We all deserve to be free to live. That is the only thing owed to everyone in this shitty world. We all deserve that just for being born into this world. Our sole birthright. Even you, the rotten woman that you are."

The shouting, the rage, seemed to leave him then as Eren sagged, almost collapsing back to the bench.

For a long second, Akeno lay on the ground, utterly shocked.

Her hand rose to her cheek where she had been punched. Twice.

It didn't hurt.

Eren was human and sickly on top of that. As well as being born half-fallen, Akeno was a Queen of a devil Peerage. Queen's didn't get the total bonus to toughness as Rooks, but they got a part.

It had been momentum more than force or pain that had caused her falls.

"I don't know if your mom died because of you or not," Eren admitted, panting for breath after the exertion. "You didn't kill her. Others did. So get that stupid idea out of your head. If you can't or don't want to use whatever has to do with your father to help Rias, fine. If she needs you to, she'll ask herself. But if I ever hear that Akeno Himejima shouldn't have been born, I will punch you again. And I don't think I'll stop."

He was serious, Akeno realized. He really would try to beat her up if she said that again.

Akeno couldn't help it.

She laughed.

She laughed and laughed and laughed and cried.

Akeno cried in the dirt, wings splayed wide for the world to see as tears streamed down her face.

No hug. Not a single kind word.

This wasn't some romantic gesture of acceptance. This wasn't Eren acknowledging Akeno for being Akeno, comforting her with the knowledge that he saw her as her instead of her race or heritage.

Eren didn't know about fallen angels, about Baraqiel and the sacred clans of Japan. He had no idea that Akeno could fry him before he could even throw a punch.

And Akeno was sure that even if he did, he'd still punch her.

It was so... Eren that she couldn't help but laugh.

"Ufufufufu," Akeno chortled, getting to her feet and wiping herself down. She also put her wings away, glad the older boy hadn't noticed. She wiped her tears as she took a seat on the bench. "What a brute. To hurt a delicate lady such as myself." Eren snorted. "Still, if I remember correctly, I did promise you a reward if you could punch me. What do you say? Want to help me explore my M side?"

Eren sighed, but Akeno was happy to notice it was a familiar one of fond exasperation instead of anger or disgust.

"I wasn't lying, you know," Akeno admitted softly as she pulled a twig from her hair. "It really was because of me that my mother was killed. That isn't hyperbole but fact. I couldn't have stopped it, but she would still be alive today if I had never been born."

"That doesn't change that nobody's birth is a sin," Eren answered just as softly. "No matter what you are or what you become. We all have the right to be born. To live free."

"What do I do then?" Akeno asked helplessly as she collapsed onto the bench beside him. "With the guilt? With these memories?"

"The only thing you can," Eren shrugged. "You live with them. How you live is up to you, but that doesn't change what happened. So you carry it as you move forward."

"You make it sound easy." Akeno could admit her voice sounded petulant even to her.

"It isn't."

Eren paused as if giving his following words careful thought.

Then he sighed and tilted his face to the sky.

"I killed my parents."

"What?" Akeno asked, the statement coming out of left field. "I thought you were an orphan."

"I am," Eren acknowledged. "That doesn't change that I killed them. I don't mean that they died protecting me or anything like that. I mean, I, myself, killed them. Nobody else."

"Did you... hate them?" Akeno asked, wondering if it had been revenge for leaving him on that church's stoop.

"No," Eren shook his head. "I loved them. Dearly. And they loved me. Wanted the best for me. Worried about me and cared about me. And yet I still killed them."

"Why?"

Akeno could see it in her mind. Eren, maybe a young teen, tracking down his parents to demand the truth. Finding them and finding out they had some reason to leave him at that church. A reunion filled with emotions, maybe even a hint of that rage she saw. But then love. Acceptance. Perhaps Eren had been happy.

For a time.

"With my father, it was an accident. Completely unintentional. He knew it would happen and chose to let me do it anyway. That's how much he loved me. But my mom..."

Akeno noticed the slight dampness of the bandages over Eren's eyes but didn't comment. Nor about the thickness in his voice or his clenched fists.

"I killed my mom. Directly. On purpose. Knowing who she was, what I was doing, and what it would lead to. No matter how much I loved her."

Eren paused, teeth gritt tight enough that Akeno could hear them as his hands tightened on his cane.

"Her last words to me were, 'Don't go.' I don't know if she didn't want to die alone, wanted someone to save her, or wished to see her son one last time. I will never know. I still remember her face as I killed her. The fear. The pain. I will never forget that sight."

That... Shuri's last words had been the complete opposite.

Run, Akeno. Run and live. Please live.

"When I say you will carry the guilt for the rest of your life, I speak from experience," Eren's voice was as heavy as it had ever been. This was a confession to a friend. For all that he claimed that Akeno angered him, Eren would not be confiding in her this terrible secret if he didn't want to reassure her in some small way. To tell her she wasn't alone in her guilt. "Not a moment goes by where I do not feel guilty for all I've done."

"Then why did you do it?" Akeno couldn't help but ask. "Why did you kill her?"

"Because it was necessary," Eren answered immediately with a gasp that choked a sob. "Because it saved the life of a child that I hated. Because I chose a few friends, the future I wanted, over the mother I loved. Because Carla Yeager's death was the start of it all, and it needed to happen if I was to move forward."

"That's it," Akeno said as she held a hand in front of her face. It was slick with bloody dirt, and a half-torn feather was caught in her nails. "Just move forward, no matter how much it hurts? That's terrible advice."

"It's the only advice I have," Eren shrugged, the emotions of the moment bleeding out of him into that familiar weariness. "I can't see your future. Or Rias'. I have no idea what problems you will face or are facing right now. I'll die soon, but I hope you won't. I hope you all lead long, happy lives. To do that, you need to walk forward. Guilt. Fear. Regret. You will carry them with you all your life, but you must continue on. One step at a time. No matter what."

For some reason, her own anger flared at his words. An emotion joining the guilt, the pain, and the self-disgust.

"You don't get to die," Akeno shook her head as she stared at the dirty blood in her hand. "Souna, Rias, Koneko, Yuuto, and I won't let you. Even Issei and Asia won't once you get to know them better. After everything you just told me, you don't get to go off and die. If I have to live with the guilt, so do you."

"I told you," Eren sighed. "I will die alone."

He said it with the certainty of a prophecy, a fact that would come true no matter what.

"No, you won't," Akeno denied fervently. She clenched her fists. "You said you couldn't see the future. I'll let you know I come from a long line of Miko, so I will make a prediction right now. Eren Yeager will live a long, happy life. Just you wait."

Eren clearly didn't believe her, but Akeno didn't care. As he had told her earlier, that was his problem, not hers.

If Akeno Himejima deserved to live, then so did Eren Yeager. If he was going to be selfish, so was she.

Even if he was a mass murderer who killed his parents, a terrible person, that didn't change who she was. Akeno was a rotten woman to her core.

Akeno wasn't going to let anyone else be taken from her.

Even if it meant dirtying herself further.

The blood and feather disintegrated in a quiet crackle of divine lightning. The tiniest of sparks darkened her flesh and stung with pain.

Rias was trusting her. Yuuto and Koneko were trusting her. Even Issei and Asia trusted her, looked up, and went to her for guidance. She could hate herself, but she could not let them down. She needed to be there when they needed her.

Akeno couldn't be Baraqiel.

The trauma was still there. The self-loathing, hatred, guilt, and disgust still filled her. It wouldn't disappear with one conversation or affirmation of conviction.

If Akeno wanted the strength to keep hold of her family, she would need to face those emotions every day. Over and over again, for months, years, potentially for the rest of her life. It was a war of attrition against her own emotions.

She'd always carry that guilt. A part would always hate herself.

But Akeno took that first tiny step forward.

And that was enough, she realized. For now, that tiny, shuffling step was enough.

The worst woman in the world sat with the worst man, companions in culpability, in self-hatred, and in pain.

Guilty? Innocent? It didn't matter in that moment.

They were alive.

They shared the same birthright as they sat together on the bench.

********

Beta: Old man of the mountain/Darklord331

Canonically, Rias' parents ramped up their efforts once Issei was reincarnated, despite their previous agreements. It isn't a stretch to think they are related. At the same time, if Rias had any other recourse but offering her virginity to Issei or a rating game, she probably would have taken it. Outnumbered and outpowered as she was in canon, she didn't think she had a chance. Thus, she only suggested a Rating Game when she felt she had no choice. Something everyone expected, based on Grayfia's words in the book.

Rias has a better chance in this world, thanks to all the extra training, but it is by no means a surefire thing. It was never Riser's Peerage that she worried about, despite their larger numbers. It was his regeneration. Power doesn't matter if the opponent can endure until you run out. Remember, despite having Balance Breaker, Issei only won using holy instruments that he boosted and after he sacrificed an arm. Something most devils would never, could never use.

Akeno's Holy Lightning, despite only being revealed later, recontextualizes a lot of things. For one, it underscores how much trauma is actually there, bubbling under the surface. I don't think she wouldn't have at least tried to use it, but couldn't do it, even to help her best friend.

I liken it to when Eren tried to turn into a titan but kept failing because he couldn't gather the determination properly, too many conflicting emotions.

One thing I love about AOT, and that I am trying to portray in this fic is how characters can have conflicting emotions. They feel guilt for their actions, but they'd do them anyway, even if they hate themselves for it. They'd be determined to do something but vacillate, fear, or second guess themselves. It is an inner conflict that we don't usually see in anime, and I wish to convey, if in some small part, in my stories.

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you all on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 19, 2023

Two figures appeared from a clump of mist in a ruined church's basement.

"Exact coordinates as always," the shorter figure in glasses said with pleasure.

"Let's get this over with," the taller, much more muscular man grumbled. "I hate his assignments. No excitement."

"I like them," the shorter figure argued lightly, stepping over a ritual circle and looking at the large metal crucifix in the center. "Perfectly laid out step-by-step guides. Like a walkthrough. Can you imagine how hard it would be to find a Sacred Gear extractor outside Grigori control on our own? Even this one would have rotted in the basement of this no-name town whose only special feature is the devil heiresses playing house."

"Can I at least go fight them," the large man asked, hoisting the metal construct on his shoulder. "They're the Satans' sisters. They should give a good fight."

"Hm," the glasses-wearing boy hummed as he flipped through a book, reading its instructions. "No, Herc, you can't."

"Did he at least tell me why this time?"

"He doesn't. But I can guess. There is no other supernatural force in this town currently. They are all out. That's why we only came now. Apparently, the entire plan falls apart if we are discovered in Kuoh."

"Fine," Herc sighed. "Vali should be visiting soon anyway. He's always good for brawl."

"I would prefer if you didn't start fights you can't win."

"Nobody's asking you, Georg."

"Maybe I should leave you somewhere on the way back? What was that strip joint called again? 'Wangs Wonderful Wangs?'" Georg said to himself. "I heard you had fun last time. Maybe you'll actually get lucky and find someone 'man enough' for you."

"You wouldn't dare," Herc said confidently. "You won't do anything against the plan."

"I might," Georg said casually. "He'd know I'd do it. That would be part of the plan in the first place, wouldn't it?"

That seemed to stump the muscular man.

"I wish the boss was back," Herc grumbled. "At least I knew I could try and sock him one when one of his plans screwed me over."

"And achieve nothing," Georg said lightly. "But yes, I do agree. Most of us miss him. But what can you do? Wherever he is, we won't find him until he wants us to."

"That better be soon," Herc continued to grumble as they were swallowed by the mists, Gear extractor and all. "That damn cat is getting on my nerves."

********

"Surrender, Rias!"

"AAAGGGHHH."

Rias closed her eyes, biting her lip hard enough to bleed.

Anything to tune out Issei's screams.

It had been going so well.

Better than her wildest dreams.

Her Peerage had made quick work of their enemies, Koneko and Yuuto, retiring due to surprise attacks but only after clearing most of the way. Asia had fallen while healing Issei, and Riser took the field himself.

Despite that, the Gremory faction was winning.

Easily.

Their additional power, coordination, and Rias' help as a long-range Wizard-Type had wiped the floor with Riser's Peerage. The Phenex had obviously chosen them all for their looks rather than skill, power, or synergy.

The only risk they faced had been the Bomb Queen, the one who took out Koneko.

Akeno had toyed with the rival Queen. Played with and tortured her. Taunting and mocking her into frothing rage. Even the Phenex trump card, their tears, hadn't helped as Akeno had been glad to 'have a fresh toy.'

Issei had been stellar. Above and beyond what could have been expected of a new devil.

Responsible for half the total retirements on the other side, his durability and strength as a Rook boosted to absurd degrees thanks to Boosted Gear, which made him an absolute unit on the battlefield. A wrecking ball on the field.

Spells, blades, and fists had bounced right off him. His most significant contribution had been getting Ravel Phenex to give up after she took out Yuuto.

Somehow.

Rias still didn't know how Issei had done it.

The four of them, Akeno, Asia, Issei, and her, had faced Riser together. With his immortality, it would still be a long shot, but Rias had seen hope.

Losing Asia early to the Phenex had been a blow, but it had galvanized Issei to new heights, and he discovered he could transfer his power to another person. Taking the healer out had given Akeno a straight shot at Riser.

"I can do this forever!" Riser crowed with malicious glee. He was taking pleasure in the pain he was inflicting. Revenge for the reversal of his fortunes and the pain he had already suffered. "Surrender!"

"GRRRGK." Even though her eyes were closed, Rias could hear Issei try to grit his teeth against the pain.

"Rias?" Akeno asked softly.

Opening her eyes, the heiress looked at her Queen, her best friend, her sister in all but blood.

Akeno looked back, their eyes meeting in silent communication.

Words could not express how thankful she was to every one of her Peerage fighting for her freedom. Everyone, especially Issei, had gone above and beyond what could be expected of them.

Yet Akeno was the one Rias was most grateful for.

Not only had her Queen been with her every step of the way for years, every minute of training, blood, sweat, and tears, but Akeno had done the one thing Rias could never ask her to do.

Holy Lightning crackled around the 'Priestess of Thunder.'

It was raw, uncontrolled, blackening Akeno's skin in places where it touched her body. She hadn't practiced much with it, but that she was using it at all spoke of her commitment.

It proved that Akeno was part fallen angel to everyone watching, or would watch, this unofficial ratting game.

Akeno had borne her deepest wounds, her greatest shame, to the Underworld.

For Rias.

Rias Gremory was so Satan-damn lucky to have such a wonderful family.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Which made her failings as King all the more apparent.

With Akeno's Holy Lightning, boosted by every ounce of power Issei could give, they had trounced Riser. The divine spell weakened his healing, leaving him vulnerable to all three of them.

Riser was an older devil on the cusp of reaching Ultimate Class.

Yet a teenager and her Peerage had beaten him into the ground.

And Rias showed her immaturity. Her weakness.

Her failure.

She had been too kind.

All it would take to clinch the victory was to get his surrender. Despite being beaten badly, he was still a Phenex. A devil house famous for their stamina and recovery, even outside of their immortality.

She had underestimated his pride and the wounds inflicted on it. She had overestimated her own control of the situation.

Intoxicated with victory and the promise of freedom, Rias failed in her duty to her family.

Rather than let Akeno torture the man into unconsciousness, as she should have done, she had told her Queen to stop. His cries of pain had been getting to her.

Rias hated Riser. Despised him with every fibre of her being.

But it had never been about Riser himself.

It hadn't been his man-whore mannerisms, his disregard for humanity or his foppish attitude that angered her so much. Riser was actually one of the better young devils out there. Harems weren't rare in the Underworld, and he clearly cared for his family. More than that, his Peerage clearly cared for him, which was more than many devils could claim.

It hadn't even been about her duty to marry someone to carry on the Gremory name and lineage that angered Rias. Riser marrying into her family would have been an acceptable choice, all things considered. Even if he was not a good devil, he was not a bad one either.

Rias had never hated Riser Phenex for who he was.

Rias Gremory hated Riser Phenex because of what he meant to her.

It had never been about Riser himself but about Rias. It had always been about her freedom and ability to choose her path.

Riser was the chain she needed to shake off, the physical representation of everything she hated about being Rias Gremory instead of Rias.

So, she wanted to give Riser a chance. The chance to surrender and spare himself the pain all devils felt when assaulted by Light. Riser hadn't chosen this engagement either. He was as bound by this promise of their families as she was. Riser lusted after Rias and desired her; that was clear, but maybe he loved someone else or didn't want to marry at all.

Maybe he, a third son of a prominent family, didn't want to be married off to the Gremorys.

Riser could have withdrawn in grace, clearly outmatched, and having held on longer than expected when exposed to Holy Lightning powered by a Longinus.

A grace. A hand extended.

A kindness.

And now?

Issei was paying the price for her failure.

A devil's pride was a terrible thing indeed.

"Gaw!" Issei gasped in pain, writhing and twitching in Riser's hands as more fire burned away at his skin.

Riser's face, twisted in a pained grimace yet still smirking, differed from his usual pretty boy demeanour.

He had been beaten but had never given up. He'd seized his one chance, the Gremory's famous soft spot for their Peerage. And he was relishing the impending victory.

The pride of the Phenex had been trampled, but he had not let it down.

The older devil held the Rook between him and Akeno. Rias was behind the Phenex, making an effort to flank him and free her Rook.

Riser didn't care.

All he cared about was keeping Holy Lightning away. Rias' attacks? They could hurt him, but he'd still regenerate. Any attack Akeno tried to throw would hurt Issei just as bad.

Rias was stuck, victory at her fingertips, yet unable to clench her hands around it.

If Sona was here? She was sure her rival would have some cunning ploy, tactic, or trap to get Issei out of Riser's grip. She could imagine Sona watching the match right now, adjusting her glasses as she did when nervous while complaining about Rias' mistakes and still hoping for the best.

If Eren was here? Well... Rias was sure he wouldn't have given Riser a chance to speak, let alone escape and capture a hostage. Eren would have been entirely merciless.

Rias was glad he wasn't watching.

She didn't want Eren to see her like this.

This weak.

This pathetic.

"Choose!" Riser insisted with another pillar of fire. The longer this continued, the higher the likelihood that Issei would pass out and retire.

"AHH," Issei screamed.

Rias wished Issei was a Pawn. He would have retired by now. But he was a Rook, and none of the damage he had taken was fatal.

Should she use Casteling? Switching places with Issei would save him but would be the same as surrendering. Riser would have her in his grasp, and he'd eliminate her.

Rias had a choice.

Victory or defeat.

No matter what she chose here, Rias would lose something.

Rias knew what she would have chosen a year ago. She would have surrendered and gone on to get married to this odious man in exchange for the safety of her Peerage. Her life in the human world would have been over.

Her freedom would have been gone.

From a certain standpoint, it made no sense not to chase victory. Issei wouldn't die from this. It was just pain, not debilitating or anything. Even the Holy aspect, which severely affected devils and skirted around the rules of Rating Games, could be cured by Asia later.

But could Rias be the one to inflict that pain on Issei? The boy she had already wronged? The boy who had trained, fought, and was being tortured for her freedom?

Could she give an order which might mean he lost what little trust he had in her?

Issei, like all her Peerage, had scars.

If she hadn't been paying careful attention, she would have missed it in their frenetic training, too caught up in her own drama.

But spending so much time training had forced her to be much more observant with her Peerage in what little time she did have with them.

Rias saw it.

She saw it when he flinched from female touch, even as he craved it.

Saw it when Asia practically threw herself at him, and he stood befuddled.

As if the idea of being loved was alien to him.

Issei was an honest boy. Honest about his feelings, his dreams, and his perversion.

That honesty, that baring of himself, had been betrayed by someone he had poured his heart out to.

Could Rias Gremory scar her Rook again? For a selfish desire for freedom?

"Do, grrrh, IT!" Issei shouted in a moment when the fire lessened.

Riser lit him up again, and coherence left the boy who had been a regular human only a month ago. An ordinary boy thrust into exceptional circumstances through no fault of his own.

"See," the Phenex said with a smile as he looked over his shoulder at Rias. "Even the Red Dragon Emperor wants you to surrender. Cease your struggles. Become my bride. And I will stop hurting the boy."

That hadn't been what Issei meant at all.

Rias closed her eyes again as the tears fell.

She didn't deserve such a wonderful Peerage.

'A person who cannot sacrifice everything cannot change anything.'

'Choose what you cannot sacrifice. Hold on to it. No matter what else you lose.'

She couldn't give up on the happiness she had found in her freedom.

Watching anime with Gasper. Training with Akeno. Cooking snacks for Koneko and napping on the couch. Reading with Yuuto. Teasing Issei. Helping Asia explore the world.

Rias could not give up the hope she held to eventually be strong enough to reincarnate Eren, to show him a life far from the pain of war and loss.

At that moment, Rias Gremeory wanted nothing more than to be on that uncomfortable bench.

She wanted her greatest worry to be whether or not she could accurately explain the wacky hijinks of the latest Jojo chapter in a way Eren could understand.

At that moment, Rias Gremory was not in a ruined facsimile of her school, facing a man who threatened to be her husband. She wasn't fighting for her freedom under the eyes of her family and the Underworld.

She wasn't deciding whether or not to torture one of her newest family members.

At that moment, Rias Gremory didn't exist.

'Rias' was on a bench, talking and laughing with her friends as a blind, sickly boy listened in quiet contentment.

That was what she could not sacrifice.

She would do anything to return to that bench and what it meant for her.

"Akeno," Rias said, opening her eyes.

She needed to see this out to the end.

To see what her kindness and failure had cost.

"Rias?" Akeno asked again, waiting for the order.

Rias stared not at her Queen or the blond man who had haunted her nightmares for years.

She stared at the scorched body of her Rook. Issei weakly met her eyes over his shoulders, barely able to lift his head.

Rias stared into those brown eyes as she gave the order.

"Do it."

The crackle and thunder of Holy Lightning.

The shout of surprise and pain of a man whose plan had failed.

The weak cries of a boy already on the brink.

The sounds of the death of a love that could have been, should have been, but now never would be.

It all drowned out another sound.

[Welsh Dragon Balance Breaker]

********

Beta: Old man of the mountain/Darklord331

One thing that is rarely shown in Shonen shows is how much kindness can cost. The power of love and friendship conquers all yadda yadda. I like kind characters, but there is a price for kindness. Stories that show that price and force the characters to pay it to rise above the easy path are generally better, in my opinion. More real. Look at AOT or Vinland Saga.

Before someone points out that Riser is acting out of character, I will remind you that he does hold Issei hostage in the Rating Game for Rias' surrender. He's better than a lot of fanfiction likes to portray him as, but he is still a dick. He also has his pride, not backing down from the pain Issei inflicts on him with holy instruments. He could have, and would have, kept fighting if Issei hadn't knocked him out with boosted holy water.

As I said, I try to stick to the canon characteristics as much as possible. The good and the bad. For Rias and Riser.

I will see you all next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 24, 2023

"I did it again," Rias admitted, her voice laden with guilt and self-disgust.

"Did what?" Eren asked.

"I hurt Issei."

Issei said she did the right thing. He said he was all healed, thanks to Asia.

He said getting hurt was better than her marrying the Yakitori. She shouldn't feel bad. He had asked her to do it.

He meant it, too. Issei couldn't lie worth a damn.

But Rias saw.

Rias saw the way he'd flinch away when their eyes met.

Rias saw him shudder in quiet moments when he thought no one was looking.

Rias saw him stare at hers and Akeno's bodies in his usual, perverted manner. Then the memory would return, and he wouldn't look at them for hours.

Akeno had stopped teasing him.

Even her sadistic Queen understood that there were some wounds inflicted on the soul, not the body, that should never be touched.

Asia hadn't left his side once. The former nun confided in Rias that he had nightmares.

Asia had wanted advice as to how to help him.

Rias didn't have an answer for her.

"Accidentally?" Eren asked.

"Not this time," Rias muttered, staring vacantly at the page of the manga she had been narrating to Eren when her confession had slipped out. "I didn't want to hurt him. I really didn't. But I had a choice, and I did anyway. And now... I don't know if things will ever be the same."

That youthful nativity of Issei's that she found so endearing, that boundless desire and hope, was now tempered by pain.

Issei still proudly proclaimed his dream to be Harem King, still determinedly focused on gaining his own Peerage, training, and strength.

But it was not with certainty that he spoke anymore. His dream was something Issei worked for but was unsure he could achieve.

"Things are never the same," Eren responded in that complicated tone of voice he got when he reminisced on his own past. "Time passes, and things change. Whether we do anything or nothing, that is how the world is. The only thing we can do is try and change it in a way favourable to us. So, you hurt Issei? Was it worth it?"

"It was."

It was a terrible, sad thing to say, but Issei's pain had made the world a better place for her.

Rias was free.

Free of her family's machinations, free to choose her own path and her own future. Free to live in the human world as Rias, to establish herself as her own woman before taking up the mantle of 'Gremory.'

Free to try and save her friend's life.

In some twisted way, it was also worth it for Issei.

He had always possessed potential as the Red Dragon Emperor of this generation. His future would have been boundless if he could live long enough to realize his growth.

But Issei's starting point had been so behind the curve that he was practically handicapped.

Issei had been the weakest holder of Boosted Gear.

Ever.

His magical potential, an essential factor for all supernatural races, had been less than that of a baby devil.

His body had been lacklustre. When he became a Rook, his physical abilities were the absolute minimum of the type. Even Koneko had been stronger when she had been reincarnated, and she had been a little girl, starved and without training when she was reincarnated.

Issei had no special talent. No skill with weapons or genius intellect. Nothing to make up for his lack of magic.

Issei had been weak enough that a devil, one not fully grown, had been able to reincarnate him with one piece, even though he possessed one of the Twelve Longinus. Something that had never happened before in the history of the world.

Now?

Now, Issei Hyoudou was the Red Dragon Emperor who achieved Balance Breaker in the shortest time ever recorded.

Words could not express how much a Sacred Gear's Balance Breaker changed things. The name gave it away.

It broke the balance of the world.

It was something against the system of the Creator. An aberration was never meant to exist. Even a low rarity and low power Sacred Gear could become a threat to Ultimate Class beings when it achieved Balance Breaker.

Issei had done it with a Longinus in less than six weeks.

Issei might not grasp what that meant, but everyone else did.

Kiba, who had used his gear for half a decade, hadn't achieved Balance Breaker.

Asia, who had used hers daily for most of her life, hasn't attained Balance Breaker.

Rias knew reincarnated devils, centuries old, who had never achieved Balance Breaker. Most Sacred Gear holders died without ever reaching that level of power.

Issei had gone from the weakest Red Dragon Emperor ever to the one with the single greatest potential ever.

And people, devils especially, noticed.

Issei, if he wished, didn't need to become a High-Class devil to start his harem. All he had to do at this point was go to the underworld, and women would be throwing themselves at his feet, begging to join his harem.

Devils craved power. Admired it. Lusted for it.

In wealth, fame, influence and, especially, direct power.

Issei had that in spades now.

Rias wouldn't allow some magic-digger floozies to exploit Issei's nativity. She owed him that much, at least.

But it didn't change the fact that Issei was better off after the Rating Game than he ever was before.

Except...

Sacred Gears respond to emotions. They grow, change, and adapt as the user's emotions do the same.

Issei standing up to and defeating Raynare had been enough emotional upheaval to awaken the Boosted Gear.

What must he have felt, only a few weeks later, that propelled him all the way to Balance Breaker?

Rias shuddered to think.

Because if she did, she might cry at the thought of what she had done to her darling Rook.

"If it was worth it, you just have to do it again." Eren shrugged, taking Rias from her thoughts.

"What do you mean," she asked, knowing Eren wouldn't suggest hurting Issei again.

"You changed the situation," the blind boy explained. "It will never go back to the way it was. That is the simple truth. But if it was worth it, if the outcome was worth the cost, then your new situation is still acceptable. You should not seek to undo what was done. You should seek to change the situation again. To make it better in some way. We might never be able to return, but we can always move forward. You just have to work for it."

"How do I do that?" Rias asked, well aware of Eren's limit to his advice.

Eren never gave an exact, step-by-step plan. He always left things open-ended. Over the last year, Rias realized it was because he wanted them to think for themselves.

"You know Issei better than me," Eren shrugged. "You know how you hurt him. I don't. All I can tell you is that hurting your friends sucks, but it is sometimes necessary. So long as they are happier in the long run. Your actions were worth it to you. Make it worth it to him."

Because of Eren's lack of knowledge about exact situations, thanks to the supernatural, his advice was always vague. But it gave her a good place to start.

What had changed? Not for her but for Issei.

The easy answer was that he had been hurt again. But where was that pain coming from? What could Rias change to try to make things better for him?

Again, there was an easy answer. Issei was not a complicated boy, despite his hidden depths. But throwing women wouldn't help him.

... Or would it?

Rias and Akeno had hurt him. That was a fact. But it didn't have to be them, did it? Koneko was more likely to noogie her fellow Rook than she was to hug him, but there was a much more willing participant in any plan nearby, wasn't there?

Rias was all for supporting her Peerage's dreams, wasn't she?

Rias might be unable to heal Issei's wounded heart, but Asia had been asking for advice, hadn't she?

Maybe it was time to be more proactive in her Peerage's love life.

Issei was kind of dumb on top of being traumatized, but even a dull nail will eventually bind wood if you hit it often enough.

But how to go about it?

Again, there was an obvious answer.

"I have an idea," Rias said, but then paused as she realized what she would ask her friend. "Have you talked to Issei before?"

"A few times," Eren nodded. "It's mostly just him venting. He is... lively."

"But you talked to him alone?" Eren nodded again. "And, uh, if he asked you for advice, you wouldn't mind giving it to him."

"It seems that is all I'm good for these days," Eren said in his usual, plain tone, but Rias could detect a hint of wryness in it.

"Even about love?" Rias asked softly, taking Eren's hand in hers as she asked. The blind boy froze for a moment but eventually relaxed.

"I don't think I am the best to talk to about that."

"I wouldn't ask you this if I had anyone else I could turn to," Rias admitted. "None of us, or his usual friends, have any experience with love or romance."

"No experience is better than bad experience," Eren pointed out gravely. "She... we didn't part on the best of terms."

There was the slightest tremor in his hands, Rias noticed.

It had been years since he had seen this woman, whoever she was. Yet talking about her was troubling this normally unflappable boy so much. It made what Rias was asking all the more challenging.

"That," Rias winced as she cut off her sentence. She chose her following words carefully. "It's not my secret to tell, but Issei's first relationship didn't go well. She tried to kill him."

Eren tensed once more at her words. He was silent again, once more giving the situation careful thought.

Sometimes, he seemed so brash, so violent, like a force of nature. In others, he was cautious with his words, like he was afraid a single sentence would destroy the world.

Rias wondered which was the 'real' him and which had been forced upon him by circumstance.

"Ah," he sighed. "If he asks, I'll talk to him. It wouldn't be the first time I gave love advice to a young boy. Just so you know, the last time I did so, the results were mixed at best, and I never found out how it ended."

"Thanks," Rias smiled and gave his hand a thankful squeeze. "That means a lot. I think he needs a male role model."

"You really don't want me to be his role model," Eren shook his head.

"I believe you are wrong," Sona's voice chimed in, and Rias looked over.

Eren, too, looked in her direction, facing her exactly. He was much better without his eyes now than when they first met.

Sona was walking towards them, a portable chess board under one arm.

"If you can instill some sense of propriety into that boy, the entire school might cheer your name," Sona said with a smirk, and Rias chuckled.

Just because she knew Issei's issues didn't mean that others did as well. There might be a parade if the Issei stopped being a perv in school.

"Then again," Sona's eyes narrowed as she looked down at where Rias' and Eren's hands were joined. Her glasses flashed ominously. "I am afraid some of his... eccentricities might rub off on you."

A part of Rias wanted to flinch her hand away, to separate from Eren as if she had been caught doing something to be guilty about.

A much more significant part of Rias felt a surge of competitive antagonism at her old rival and refused to do such a thing. Instead, Rias leaned further into Eren's arm, pressing her breasts against him.

"Hey, Souna," Eren raised his free hand in greeting, unaware of the silent conversation between the young women. "I didn't think we had a lesson today."

"We do not," Sona responded, adjusting her glasses once more as she glared at the redhead. "But I wished to spend some time with you outside of lessons. I would like to also teach you to play chess."

"Chess?" Eren asked with a tilt of his head. "Why?"

"It's Souna's favourite hobby," Rias chimed in before Sona could answer. "I enjoy it as well. If you learn it, we can play sometime."

"I already know the basics," Eren answered, gesturing to the bandages over his eyes. "Can't play like this, though."

"You can," Sona said, holding up the packaged board. "I purchased a set with large pieces distinct in shape between black and white. You should be able to feel the difference with just a touch. Rias, please move so I can put it down and set it up."

"Why don't I hold it in my lap? I can help describe things to Eren until he knows which pieces are which."

"That will not be necessary. I am fully capable of describing the situation to him without aid."

"But you might cheat. I'm a neutral party he can trust."

"I would never cheat, and neither would Eren. I intend to win honestly and fairly, using my own abilities."

"Your abilities as his teacher? He can trust me more. I'm his friend."

"I believe we are both his friends. I have known him longer, and thus Eren can trust me more."

"Are you two going to do this for a while?" Eren asked, his tone annoyed. "It's just chess."

"Just chess?" Sona asked, almost offended.

"Chess is very important to our culture," Rias hurried to explain, not wanting to seem petty in Eren's mind. "We've both been taught it since very young. Souna got out of her arranged marriage using chess. She said she wouldn't marry anyone who couldn't beat her."

"Rias!" Sona squawked in outrage at the spilling of her secrets. Then she looked at Eren, worried about his response.

"Really?" He asked, but with a nonchalance that told the pair he didn't give it much thought. "Weird way to determine a partner, but if it works for you."

There was a brief moment of silence before Rias broke it.

"That's it?" She asked in disbelief. "You don't have any thoughts about the arranged marriage?"

"No?" Eren half asked as he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. "Why would I?"

"What I believe Rias means," Sona said, clearing her throat and regaining her equilibrium. "You have expressed many times your views on freedom and the like. We simply believed you would express similar passion against such an antiquated practice of marriage for benefit, political or familial, rather than for love."

"What does that have to do with freedom," Eren asked, audibly befuddled.

"Isn't it wrong to force someone to marry they don't love," Rias asked passionately. Out of everyone, she believed Eren would have been the one to understand her.

"I still don't understand," Eren shook his head. "It's wrong to force anyone to do anything against their will. But that isn't the case here. Sona wasn't forced to marry someone she didn't love. She got out of it. And with chess of all things."

"I was lucky," Sona admitted. "Not with the victory, as that was my skill, but that my family would accept my conditions. Others are not so fortunate and are forced to marry or face expulsion from their family or worse."

"Then be expelled," Eren shrugged again. "If they don't want to be married, don't get married."

"What if it's under threat?" Rias asked, trying to parse Eren's stance now that the initial shock had worn off. Eren was the type of man with increadibly simple beliefs he stuck to, but they were based on layers and complexity that sometimes popped up unexpectedly. "To their life or to others they care about?"

If she had been alone, Rias might have chosen the expulsion option if it came down to it.

But she wasn't alone.

She had a peerage, one that she would lose if she lost her High-Class status. At best, the rest of Gremory would take them in as their own pieces, and she wouldn't see them again. At worst, they would become Stray Devils, hunted by all factions to follow her.

"Then die, fight, or get married." Eren tilted his head as if the answer was obvious.

"Now, I do not understand," Sona admitted. "Is using threats or coercion to enforce specific actions and responses not the definition of depriving someone of their freedom?"

"I'm not explaining myself properly," Eren muttered lowly. Then, louder, he started a story. "I knew this girl, Historia. She loved another girl, but that one died. Years later, some bigwigs wanted to use Historia as a pawn. They'd use her and eventually kill her after getting a bunch of children from her." Both girls' voices hitched the horror at the idea overtaking them. "I had a plan, one that could save her. But I needed time. I told her this. You know what she did?"

"What?" Rias asked.

"She did exactly as those bigwigs wanted," Eren said, and both girls frowned. "But she did it on her terms. They wanted her to produce children? She got married and got pregnant. She chose a man she didn't love but could live with. In doing so, she had control over her future, and I had time for my plan."

"Why did you not help her escape?" Sona asked. "You just mentioned it as an option for others, and that would have given you the time you needed."

"I would have if that was what she wanted," Eren shrugged. "I owed her everything. I cared for her. We all did. But she was the one who suggested the plan, not me. By doing things this way, she kept peace and saved lives. If she had run or fought or killed herself, it would have been a civil war."

Seriously, Rias thought. Right when she thought Eren's life couldn't sound more like an anime, he went and said something like this.

"It wasn't an ideal outcome. Nothing ever is. But it was one she chose. That's what I mean when I say an arranged marriage doesn't necessarily take away freedom. Because you always have other choices. Only when you refuse to choose, to fight, do you lose what makes you free."

"By that logic, everyone is free," Sona contemplated with a frown.

"Everyone is," Eren shrugged. "They are born free. The only ones who aren't are those who choose not to be. Those who choose to be cattle in a cage. Freedom is not doing whatever you want. It's having the ability to choose. There might only be terrible choices, which all cost something, but that doesn't make you any less free."

"I don't like it," Rias said with a glare. "I don't like the idea that someone will force others to marry just for some benefit. I don't like the idea that death or flight are the only options."

"Bad options are still options," Eren shrugged. "To Historia, the prospect of marriage and motherhood were better than death and war. I would choose the opposite in her circumstances. Some others, men or women, might make the same choice as her. Maybe the marriage is worth the benefits. People will do crazy things for money or power."

"What if someone is just trying to kill you," Sona asked Eren, focusing less on the marriage aspect and more on the 'freedom' idea. "Are they free to do that?"

"They are," Eren nodded gravely. "But they are also trying to take away your freedom to live. Anyone trying to take your freedom should have theirs taken. The freest man in the world is the one without any surviving enemies. But seeing enemies that aren't there, fighting to attain a freedom you already have, is not being free."

It clicked for Rias then, where the disconnect was between her and Eren.

To Rias, freedom was just that. It was the ability to live how you wanted, without anyone influencing you—freedom from negative consequences.

To Eren?

Freedom was life itself. To be deprived of freedom was the same as dying, if not worse. So long as you were alive, you pursued freedom in your own way. If you weren't chasing your freedom, you were just waiting to die.

And if anything stood in his way?

He destroyed it.

No matter the cost.

"If you need to fight for your freedom? Fight," Eren intoned lowly. "If you need to kill? Kill. But never, ever forget why freedom is important. If you do, you will be chasing an empty word. You are not free. You have simply chosen a different set of chains. Always chase freedom. Never become a slave to it."

The mood remained sombre even once the girls set up the chess board and started playing against each other and occasionally against Eren.

Their thoughts revolved around freedom, its pursuit, what price they'd pay for it and what it had already cost them.

Dreams, regrets and memories weighed heavily on their backs as they spent another day together on the bench.

********

Beta: Old Man of the Mountain/Darklord331

I have always been interested in Eren's perspective on 'freedom' after the Rumbling. It would be completely against his character to give up on it, but I think that he would take a more philosophical approach after his pursuit of it led to what was, essentially, the ultimate prison.

Many people will think of that image where he stands in the clouds, has just started the Rumbling, and says he's free. I've seen many people say he isn't, but they fundamentally misunderstand what Eren considers freedom. To him, 'freedom' is having no walls. Nothing to stop him from doing what he wants. With the Founder's power, he can do whatever he likes.

He is free from all walls and all fear.

But it comes with consequences. And I think that would force him to confront Eren's own personal belief on 'freedom' and what it was he had been chasing for so long.

The same with Historia. A lot of people gave her shit in the last season because she 'chose' to marry and have kids. They ignore the subtext that, if she didn't, there'd be another civil war over her bloodline. Eldia needed the Founder, and they would kill for it. Historia was just the womb the bigwigs required to produce more of Fritz's bloodline to ensure the Eldian legacy. They'd never allow her to fight again. If she didn't want herself and her children to become titans, Historia's only choice was to give Eren the time for the Rumbling.

Historia chose both the kindest and cruellest option, which is perfectly in character for her.

Historia has always been the type of character who chooses an option she can live with. She's a survivor and a kindhearted one at that. Far from her character being 'ruined,' she did what she always did. Historia had shitty choices, but she chose to do things in her own way, which saved the lives of those she cared about.

Those are just a few of my thoughts; I hope they are conveyed well enough. Enjoy the holidays and I will see you all next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 26, 2023

There was silence on the bench.

Both young men were lost in their own thoughts. One of them stared sightlessly at a sky he couldn't see through thick bandages.

The other stared at his left hand, held up in front of his face with a complicated expression.

Not a word had been exchanged in over five minutes.

Issei, usually the one to talk when he visited the sickly boy, hadn't even felt the time pass.

To be fair to the pervert, he had a voice in his head he could talk to—a real one.

[Partner. The boy is trying to talk to you.]

"Sorry," Issei said, snapping out of his funk to look at Eren, who, in an uncharacteristic move, had been the one to break the silence. "I didn't hear that Yaeger-senpai."

"Don't call me that," the blind boy said for the dozenth time, but there was no heat to it anymore.

That was something Issei still didn't understand.

Eren allowed Kiba to call him senpai without comment but tried to stop everyone from doing the same. The Red Dragon Emperor didn't know why. Even after reading his file and talking to the others, much about the dying boy was still a mystery to the high school student.

They had talked a few times in the last couple of weeks, primarily Issei trying to get to know his Peerage's friend.

It mostly devolved into the pervert talking about women and harems and providing in-depth descriptions of various girls' breasts since Eren couldn't see them.

(It should be noted that once she found out, Sona bribed Issei to lie about her cup size to the older boy.

Issei steadfastly refused.

To lie about Oppai was blasphemous of the highest order. He might be a devil now, but he wasn't evil.

Turning down the student council president's offer of all previously confiscated contraband was one of the hardest things the Rook had ever done in his life. Issei really missed his limited edition copy of Milky Paradise 3: Olympus Mons. He never collected all the scenes.

But doing God- ow- Satan's work was often unrewarding, even if it was the right thing to do.)

Today, the younger boy had picked up where he left off last time, comparing the merits of size, firmness, perkiness, and bounce versus body types. As Issei rambled, Eren had listened, even though he was not very engaged.

Sometimes, Issei thought Eren just liked the company. But once Issei had finished proselytizing about the merits of the 'Oppai Loli,' the Rook didn't continue.

Instead, he started to talk to Ddraig in his mind.

"I asked if you were all right."

"Ah," Issei awkwardly rubbed the back of his hair, trying to devise an excuse. "Sorry. I, uh, got lost in thought. I'm fine."

Eren didn't say anything, but his lips did press slightly in a frown.

"Really!" Issei said with cheer. "I'm great!"

[Partner.]

Issei ignored Ddraig's sigh in favour of keeping a focus on the older boy, who looked even more displeased than before. But rather than calling Issei out on whatever he wasn't happy about or continuing to press him about his silence, Eren shifted the conversation.

"You talk about girls a lot."

Even Issei knew that was an understatement of the century, but he stared at the other boy in confusion, wondering where he was going with this.

Eren was speaking slower than usual, even if it was in his regular, plain voice. Was he... embarrassed?

"Have you, um, been with a girl? Do you have a lover, I mean?"

The questions were so out of character that Issei stared, mouth slightly agape in surprise. Only when Eren smacked his leg with his cane did the student stutter out an answer.

"Uh, no. No, I don't."

"Why not?" Eren frowned. "You want one, don't you? Or do you not have a girl you like?"

"I like all girls! Big girls and small girls. Milfs and Lolis. There are no girls I don't like! No Oppai is wrong!" Issei declared passionately before deflating. "But... it's complicated."

Would you die for me?

Akeno. Do it.

Phantom pain pulsed through Issei's chest. Only part of it was physical.

Nobody achieved Balance Breaker without strong emotions.

"Why is it complicated?"

"Well, um, I, ah," Issei stuttered, trying to think of what to say. Direct questions like this were not really common among Japanese social norms, where feelings and circumstances were usually kept quiet. Throw in the secrecy of magic, and Issei was seriously panicking. "I'm not very well-liked, you see."

"And?"

"And girls don't want to date a pervert."

It somewhat hurt to admit it out loud, but Issei knew what people thought of him and his friends. But he didn't regret it. He might be a pervert and an idiot, but he was true to himself. He refused to hide who he was.

It just made finding a date difficult.

"But you want to make a harem?" Eren asked doubtfully.

"Of course! I am going to be a Harem King!"

[Partner.]

This time, Ddraig's sigh was less of sympathy and more of exasperated exhaustion.

Eren surprised Issei then. Unlike everyone else who had heard his dream, he didn't mock Issei or laugh at him. Instead, the older boy asked a simple question.

"What are you doing to become a 'Harem King?'"

"Uh," Issei stuttered once again, unsure how to handle the frank question. Too used to derision, the student was caught flat-footed. Even his fellow Peerage members, who didn't deride his dream, still didn't seem to get it and often joked about it to him. Koneko was especially brutal. "What do you mean?"

"How are you advancing toward your goal," Eren asked. "Having a dream is good, but you must work at it. Souna wants to be a teacher and is practicing with me. Yuuto is walking his path. Even Rias and Akeno have their own goals and ambitions they work towards, though I don't know what they are. So, I will ask you again. What are you doing to become a 'Harem King?'"

Issei floundered once more.

He did, in fact, have an answer. It just wasn't one he could tell Eren.

High-class devils received their own Evil Pieces, and it was common for those not interested in climbing the ranks of the Rating Games to fill them with lovers and make their Peerage into their own personal harem.

More than that, both Ddraig and Buchou had told him multiple times that dragons and their Sacred Gear holders tended to attract members of the opposite sex because of their power and presence.

The short answer to Eren's question was Issei was training to get stronger.

Every day, Issei worked with Kiba, Koneko, Akeno, and Rias to take advantage of his Rook traits. With Asia on hand, they didn't need to worry about permanent damage, so they could go all out.

Every day, Issei grew stronger and tougher and could last just a little longer in his Balance Breaker Armour.

So he'd never be that weak, that helpless, again.

And Issei wasn't the only one to feel the hunger after the fight with the Phenex peerage. Everyone was training harder than ever.

They bled, they fought, and they grew.

But with the older boy's ignorance of the supernatural, Issei couldn't say 'training' and have it make sense.

Instead, to buy time, Issei asked a question of his own.

"Why are you asking?" Issei's eyes lit up as an idea came to him. "Have you decided you want a harem as well?"

"No," Eren said plainly, and the Red Dragon Emperor deflated. "I'll be dead soon. It's no secret. I won't start a relationship with a girl for it to end in tragedy. Even if I had the chance."

"Oh," Issei wilted further. "Right. Sorry."

There had been something in Eren's voice, a regret maybe, but Issei didn't know the older boy well enough to say for sure.

"I am asking because you have been off all night," Eren said, not bothered by Issei's lack of tact. "And don't give me that 'I'm fine' bullshit. I've used that one enough to know when someone is faking it." Issei closed his mouth. Sometimes, he wondered if Eren really was blind. "You are not a complicated boy, Issei. That is not a bad thing. If you have a problem, it's most likely about girls."

Issei wanted to say that wasn't true but paused as he gave it some serious thought.

Yuum- Would you die for me? - Raynare had been the one to kill him, leading to his reincarnation.

Asia had been the one he had been defending when they tried to take her back.

And the Yakitori fight was because of Buchou's -Akeno. Do it.- forced engagement.

Come to think of it, baring Kiba, all the supernatural beings he knew of were female.

[Attracting attention, especially from the opposite sex, is typical for dragons.] Ddraig rumbled within his soul. [That isn't always a good thing.]

"Will you tell me what is wrong?" Eren asked.

Issei knew then that, whether he answered or not, Eren would accept his decision. So long as he acknowledged something was wrong, Eren wouldn't ask any further questions if Issei didn't want him to.

There was just one issue.

"I don't know," Issei said helplessly, looking at the older boy. Eren couldn't see the confusion, hesitancy, or fear in the brown eyes. "I don't know what the problem is. I don't know if there is a problem. I've been having... nightmares."

The young devil said the words slowly as if admitting it was a weakness, a sin he shouldn't speak of.

"I don't remember most of them, but they're bad. Really bad. I woke the whole house a few times. Asia has started sleeping with me so she can wake me up when I start... screaming."

Eren looked ready to say something, but he closed his mouth, gave his words more thought and eventually asked a simple question in his usual monotone.

"What do you remember?"

A spear of light pierced his chest. Red blood. Red hair.

Lightning. Fire. Pain. Red hair and green eyes filled with tears.

"Girls," Issei eventually said. "Familiar ones."

"Rias? She said she hurt you again."

"And others," Issei said lowly.

"Do you hate them?"

"NO!" Issei shouted in surprise at the question, looking at Eren in horror. "Buchou saved me. And she didn't want to hurt me. She didn't have a choice! I can't hate her for... what she did." He had almost let the circumstances slip but caught himself at the last second.

"And the other women?"

Issei couldn't answer.

He honestly didn't know.

It should have been easy.

Raynare had lied to him. Betrayed him. Killed him. Tried to kill him again. She hurt his friends and hurt Asia. Issei knew she had been a monster, and the world was probably better with her death.

It should have been easy to hate her.

Yet, Issei couldn't find it in himself to hate Yuuma Amano.

No matter what the circumstances, she had been the first positive experience with the opposite sex he had ever had outside his mother. For a few hours, while the fallen's mask had been on, Issei had thought about giving up his dream of a harem if it meant making this girl happy.

It was naive. It was stupid. But, for those few hours, Issei could understand why his father had given up on the same dream in order to be with his mother. Issei wouldn't do it after one date, but he could understand his father's choice for the first time.

To the fallen angel, it had been a fun game. Make pretend. A higher being toying with a hapless mortal.

To Issei?

It had been real.

"There's your problem," Eren sighed. "It is easy to hate. So easy. To rage and fight and kill. People say killing is hard. It isn't. Not when you hate your enemy. But when you don't? When you understand them, know about them, care about them, or love them? When you know why they are that way and why they do the things they do? Hatred is easy. To care is so much harder."

They were both quiet for a long moment.

Then Issei broke the silence in the most 'Issei Hyoudou' way possible.

"I want a harem."

"You've mentioned," Eren said dryly.

"It's been my dream for most of my life. I used to think it was going to be easy," Issei said softly, staring at his left arm again. "A previously all-girl school? It was like an anime or eroge. Even if most girls hated me, one or two would like me, right? I'd give it my best, and everything else would fall into place. In some way, I thought it was inevitable."

Becoming a devil had only made that feeling grow. A society with a system tailor-made for harems, accepted his perversion, saw him as valuable, and provided him a path to walk to his dream?

Issei had almost considered his inevitable harem as set in stone. He had entertained fantasies about who would be in it. Rias. Akeno. Koneko. Maybe even Asia, once she was more worldly. Maybe some classmates or other supernatural races.

Issei had imagined it. Fantasised about it.

Dreamed about it.

For a while, Issei Hyoudou had lived in a world where he was the protagonist.

Then it collapsed in a flash of light, a clap of thunder, and the searing of flesh.

Issei had spoken the truth when he said he didn't blame Rias. In some way, he didn't even blame Raynare.

Issei Hyoudou blamed himself.

He blamed himself for being a naive, perverted, too-honest, and too-trusting boy. Someone more intelligent, wiser, or better than him would not have fallen for Raynare's facade.

They wouldn't have gotten captured by a defeated enemy and used as a hostage against his friends. Someone else would not be this week and pathetic.

Buchou claimed that the Rating Game had shown the world Issei was one of the most promising Red Dragon Emperors to ever live.

Issei disagreed.

All it showed was a young, dumb, weak pervert in over his head.

"Now, I am not sure I will ever have a girlfriend again, let alone a harem."

"You might not," Eren nodded.

Issei stared at the boy.

That... was not encouraging. Far from comfort or advice, as the Rook had expected, the sickly boy had responded instantly and brutally.

And Issei couldn't deny the truth of the statement.

"But that will be for you to decide," Eren continued. "You have to decide what you want and what you fight for."

"I'm not that bright," Issei said hesitantly, rubbing the back of his head. "But I don't think that's how love works. I think I don't get to decide whether girls like me."

Eren frowned, opened his mouth, leaned back, and looked at the sky. Issei wondered if he had put his foot in his mouth again and accidentally said something wrong when the sickly boy spoke.

His voice was heavy, slow, and deliberate, as if every word was worth its weight in gold.

"I knew a couple, once. Younger than you are now," Eren started. "Trained with them for years. They danced around each other's feelings forever. When they got together, they were inseparable. We always joked about their inevitable marriage. Teased them. If two people were made for each other, it was them." Eren grit his teeth as he spat the following words. "He died the first day on the job. We found Hannah cradling what was left of Franz, refusing to face reality. Refusing to acknowledge that he was dead."

Issei froze. It was one thing to read about Eren's history as a mercenary; it was another to hear stories directly from him.

There was a weight to them. Like Issei was being entrusted with something precious. But they were also far from what a boy who, only a few months ago, was a regular teen had any frame of reference for.

For all the conflict and trauma Issei had dealt with since becoming a devil, he had never lost anyone he cared about. He didn't know what to say.

Thankfully, Eren didn't expect him to say anything just yet.

"My experience with romance isn't great either," Eren's voice deadened as if all emotions had drained from his body, yet his words were as impactful as ever. "I never really thought about love. Too busy chasing my goals. Too busy running ahead. I never noticed her feelings. In my defence, I had always considered her an overprotective sister and never considered her a romantic partner. Still," Eren paused as if lost in thought.

Even if Issei didn't know Eren as well as the others, he still could hear the regret thick in his voice.

"I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had understood her better. If I had known what she always felt for me. If I had known what I could feel for her. If we had more time together, would we have been happy? Or would it have been a greater tragedy?"

This time, when Eren paused, he did not continue to talk. He was lost in his memories, staring at a sky he couldn't see.

Issei had a lot of questions, but one floated up, interrupting the older boy's reverie.

"Who was she?"

"She was," Eren paused again, voice thick with emotion. Longing. Regret. Love. "She was quiet. Private. Protective. She would do anything for those she cared about. She was the strongest person I ever met. In body and in heart. But she never wanted to use that strength. She would have much preferred a quiet life than one of battle. But she chose to follow me. To protect me. She saved my life. So many times. Too many times."

Eren choked back something. Maybe a grunt. Maybe a sob.

"She was my sister. My family took her in after hers were killed by slavers. She was one of my best friends—someone I could always trust to have my back. I had always loved her. Not in that way. Not initially. She had been in love with me for years, but I was too dense to notice. To caught up in my own pain and rage. I didn't fall in love with her till later. Till it was too late."

"What happened?" Issei asked, fear making his voice tremble.

"She didn't die, if that's what you are asking," Eren said as he shook his head. "It was a close thing, though. That was how I fell in love with her, believe it or not. I had done something stupid and got myself captured. Again. People died to get me back. Too many people. And one of them was really dear to us, almost an uncle. We watched as he was torn apart. We almost died, too. We were about to. We were sure it was going to happen."

Eren raised his own left hand over his head as if to stare at it, unknowingly echoing Issei's previous position.

"All I could do was scream. Scream at myself for being helpless. For failing. For everything. It was all my fault. More than I realized at the time, it was all my fault. And yet..."

For the first time, Issei saw something else on Eren Yeager's face.

It was only a shadow, a hint of expression lost in his words, but Issei would swear up and down that Eren almost smiled.

"She smiled. She didn't care about my guilt, uselessness, or anything else. We were about to die, and she smiled as she thanked me. For being with her. For rescuing her from those slavers. For teaching her how to live. For wrapping that scarf around her neck. We were about to die, and all I could think about was how beautiful she was when she smiled."

Enraptured by the story and the emotions that so mirrored his circumstances, Issei couldn't help repeating his question.

"What happened next?"

"We survived," Eren nodded. "But things changed. My feelings had changed. Maybe she sensed it, but she no longer was as overprotective. And I no longer resented her concern, seeing it in a new light. It took me a while to sort out my feelings. I am not good with that sort of thing. But I realized what they were pretty quickly. But we had a final mission to do. After that, I would talk to her if we survived."

"Did she? Survive, I mean?" Issei asked eagerly before realizing how insensitive that question would be if she hadn't.

"We did," Eren thankfully nodded, but his face was set in a heavy frown. "Two hundred scouts died that day. Nine survived. The mission was a success, but my thoughts were... occupied. I put off confessing till we had a plan on what to do from there. But then I had one. A plan that would get me almost everything I ever wanted."

Despite his words, Eren did not sound happy. If anything, he sounded furious.

"I wanted it. I wanted that future so bad." Eren bit out, teeth clenching. "But it would cost me so much. The lives of my friends. And I would never be with her. Even if we loved each other, we'd never be together. I searched desperately for an alternative. A way to avoid that plan. To save lives. The lives of strangers and of my friends. To save the life I wanted to live with her. Even when I resigned myself, I was prepared to throw it all away if it meant spending those few years with her."

The fury that filled the blind boy fizzled out as he slumped against the bench in defeat.

"But that never happened," Eren sighed sadly. "Instead, I went ahead with the plan. We never so much as kissed. She probably moved on. I hope she moved on. I hope she is happy, even if it is not with me. I don't know what happened after I... left."

A creaking sound tore Issei's gaze from the older boy's bandaged face, and for the first time, the Rook noticed Eren's hands.

He had gripped his cane tightly, so tightly it had creaked under his white-knuckled grasp.

Unused to the overt display of emotion from the boy, Issei scrambled for a way to change the subject to something more positive, something that might bring back the hint of a smile he saw.

"What was the scarf you mentioned?" Issei asked hurriedly. "The one she thanked you for?"

It thankfully worked, and Eren's frown fell from his face for a softer expression as his fists unclenched. He took a deep breath as if to compose himself before he answered.

"I rescued her from slavers, and she saved me right after. But it was the middle of the night in the mountains. It was cold out." Eren idly raised a hand to his neck as if to adjust a scarf that wasn't there.

"I wrapped my scarf around her. It was a simple thing to me. She seemed cold, almost in rags, and I still had my clothes. She kept the scarf. For years, she never went anywhere without it. I didn't realize what it meant to her till that day. It meant much more to her than it did to me. I promised I would always wrap it around her."

Eren softly lowered his hand back to his cane as he whispered the last words, almost to himself.

"I hope she got rid of it."

"Do you regret it?" Issei couldn't help but ask, morbidly curious, as he remembered a small scrunchie.

A small gift purchased to commemorate his first-ever date.

"Since you can't be together, do you regret giving her the scarf?"

It was the wrong thing to ask.

"Listen to me, Issei Hyoudou," Eren said, voice quiet but intense as he suddenly leaned forward, turning to face Issei as if to look him in the eye.

All the Rook saw were bandages and a mouth set into a determined line.

"I am a monster. The Devil in every sense of the word. I have killed. I have murdered. I have more blood on my hands than anyone ever before or since. Throughout all my life, everything I have done has ended in tragedy. I have many regrets, far too many."

Eren stabbed at Issei with a finger, right in the heart, and the Rook flinched in surprise.

"There is one thing I have never regretted. It is the only purely good thing I have ever done. The only time I was ever a hero. No matter what happens, I will never, ever regret wrapping that scarf around her. Do you understand?"

Startled by the intensity of the blank gaze and the fervour in his voice, Issei hurried to answer as he nodded frantically.

"I do. I do. I understand."

Eren maintained his position for a few heartbeats after Issei's frantic answer as if daring him to take back his words. When Issei said nothing else, he relaxed back into his chair with a grunt.

"I got off topic," Eren said as he resettled. "I wasn't telling that story for memory's sake. There was a point. Did you get it?"

"Uh," Issei stuttered. He had honestly been too absorbed to think about the more profound implications or possible morals. "No. Sorry."

"The point was that there is no such thing as a fated love," Erin grunted. "If life were like Rias' manga, I would have ended up with her. I am not unaware that my past can be considered fantastic enough to qualify for entertainment. But this is real life, not fiction."

Issei remembered a few weeks ago when he thought that his life had become a light novel.

Had he always assumed he was the protagonist? Or had it just been the exceptional circumstances getting to him?

"There is no such thing as destined love or soulmates," Eren bit out. "If there was, I would have settled down and married my childhood friend whom I loved and who loved me. My friends would not have died as soon as they got together. Another of my friends would not have had to find love in a marriage she never wanted. We would have lived happily ever after." Eren grunted in derision. "But that didn't happen. Because nobody is certain to end up with anyone else."

"I get it," Issei said morosely. Eren had a point, but it still hurt to have his naive dreams thrown in his face like that.

"I don't think you do," Eren said. "Because if you did, you would not sound so sad."

Issei blinked, unsure why he shouldn't be sad.

"Didn't you just say I am not fated to be with anyone?"

Eren smacked the boy on the back of his head.

"You aren't destined to be with anyone," Eren said roughly. "But that applies to others as well. They are not fated for anyone else, either. That is the freedom of it. I know nothing about your love life, about harems, or romance. All I know is that no romantic or otherwise relationship happens if you don't work for it."

Issei almost bit out something sarcastic about Sona but held it in.

Maybe Eren did know about the devil's crush and chose not to say anything because he did not want to start something doomed to a tragic end.

"Do you have a problem with someone? Fight! Do you like someone? Ask them out! Do you want a harem? Work for it! You will stumble, fall, and get hurt as you move forward. I can't promise you will achieve your dream or even have one girl, let alone many. All I will promise is that you will have none if you stay still."

Issei took a deep breath and looked at the older boy. Sickly, dying, and regretful.

Yet still living, still fighting in his own way.

"You're right," Issei said, smacking himself in the cheeks with both hands as he stood from the uncomfortable bench. "Your right! I've been too lazy. If I want to be a Harem King, I need to be better. I have to pursue more girls. I've been rejected a thousand times. I can handle a million rejections if I achieve my dreams. Even if it hurts, I can't just sit still!"

"Before you run off to get yourself hurt again," Eren said dryly. "I have some advice I wish I had received myself. It might help you get started with your... harem."

"What is it?" Issei asked eagerly, still fired up.

"Look to the ones beside you," Eren said gravely. "Instead of running ahead, slow down. You will reach the same destination, but you will have fewer regrets. Those who want to travel your path with you will thank you."

Issei left the clearing with the bench, pondering the older boy's parting words.

He left Eren Yeager alone on the bench with his memories of a love that never was.

Issei would continue to have nightmares, but they lessened over the coming months.

It might have been thanks to Eren's words, or it might be because, a week after that talk on the bench and turning the words over, Issei puzzled out what the dying boy meant.

A few days after that, when he gathered his courage and after a hefty amount of pep talk from Ddraig, Issei Hyoudou asked Asia Argento out on a date.

Asia's smile, as she agreed, was angelic.

Maybe Issei would get his harem, or perhaps he wouldn't. He'd been hurt. He would be hurt again, Issei was sure.

He had a long road to become the Harem King of his dreams. He didn't know the future.

All Issei knew was that for that smile, for that light in his life, he'd name his first child after the boy on the bench.

********

Beta: Old Man of the Mountain

Issei isn't an edge lord, vengence-driven type of man. That is his problem. He blames himself for most things that go wrong. That is half his trauma, always wondering if it was him and not Raynare that was the issue. The closest you get to that type of Issei in canon is when he goes Jugernaught Drive, and even then he is explicitly not in control then. Issei went through trauma, yes, but he is still Issei.

One of my pet peeves in Fanfiction has always been characters going OOC for no reason. AUs are fine, excellent even, but there needs to be a thread of logic I can follow, or I lose my investment and see the hand of the author. It can be subtle, but it has to be there. Ironically, AOT is one of the best examples of quiet character growth.

One of the most common complaints I've heard about the end of AOT is that 'Eren suddenly loves Mikasa? Where did that come from?' I respond that Eren didn't at the show's start, but he changed. Mikasa did, too. I can point to the exact moment where Eren fell in love. You can, too. Just read Chapter 50, 'Scream.' They are pages 21 to 26. That's what I always point to. I dare anyone who knows the ending of AOT to read that and say Eren didn't fall in love with Mikasa.

Between that point, throughout the entire ordeal with Historia's family and the battle to retake Maria, Eren never lashes out at Mikasa, and she never babys him, yet she is still concerned about him. It is a subtle realization of love without the 'daisuki' or overt displays of affection so common in anime. Neither of their characters is the type to be overt with that kind of emotion. After Maria, Eren sees the Rumbling and spends years searching for a way to stop it. When he can't, and Mikasa is too shy to say she loves him, he goes on to what we see post-time skip.

Do not get me wrong, AOT is not without fault. I have many issues with it myself. But the Eren/Misaka love thing was never one of them because I saw that love grow throughout the entire series. I just never understood why others couldn't see it, either.

Characters have reasons for their actions, or they aren't compelling characters. I hope to get that across with my writing.

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas, and I will meet you all next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Dec 31, 2023

The familiar voice cut through the red haze of rage and pain.

"What is going on here?"

Everyone froze, Excalibur Destruction inches from Kiba's neck.

""EREN!"" From his place on the ground, the Knight heard Akeno and Rias shout in surprise. It was the King who continued. "Sona! Get him out of here!"

"A human?" Kiba heard the executor with the sword at his neck mutter in confusion.

"Have you tried talking him out of something," the student council president asked rhetorically with more than a little bit of anger. "We heard a commotion, and he insisted on checking it out."

"I recognize a fight when I hear one. Especially one with metal blades." Kiba heard Eren say dryly.

Only the Knight's long experience with the dying boy let him understand that much of his tone.

Eren was speaking in that dead way of his, like nothing in the world mattered. From his position, the Knight couldn't see the boy's face to know his expression.

"Now, will someone explain what is going or will I have to start hitting things with my cane?"

"What have you done, Sitri?" Xenovia snarled, finally pulling the hateful blade from Kiba's neck and pointing it at Sona. "A hostage? What have you done to him? Torture? Is there no low your kind will not sink to?"

"Sitri? And Rias called you Sona?" Eren asked, and Kiba could finally look at the boy and notice him tilting his head in question.

The blind boy was off the bench, standing with the Sitri heiress on the far side of the clearing they had their fight in. Sona had kept him clear of the fallen trees and holes they had torn through the dirt.

Of all the exorcist said, only the names had given the former mercenary pause.

"I told you my family is foreign, right," Sona hurried to explain, a note of panic in her voice. "When I moved to Japan, I went by a Japanese version of my name. Souna Shitori, rather than Sona Sitri."

"Huh," Eren grunted. "That explains a lot. You should have told me. I'd have called you Sona."

"I'd like that," Sona said, relief in her voice at Eren's easy acceptance of her words, but she still glared at the exorcist. "And no. He is not a hostage. He was simply resting on a nearby bench when we heard your fight. If you are done, we will leave."

"Ah, Lord." All the devils winced in pain as the other exorcist, Irina, recited a prayer. "Please save this lost lamb from the devil's clutches and return him to the flock."

Eren's face was still set in his placid expression as if all emotion had drained from him. Still in a daze, Kiba noted that his friends hurriedly looked at each other, trying to communicate silently.

This was bad. They needed to get the boy out of there. If things devolved even further, they wouldn't be able to keep Eren safe if the exorcists attacked.

"If nobody will explain what is happening, I will have to get involved." Eren started to draw his blade, but Kiba's ragged and rough voice stopped him.

"Senpai," he croaked. "These are my juniors. They have my goal. It is right here."

All eyes looked at the fallen Knight.

"Yuuto!" Rias resumed her rush to his side, paused by the arrival of the unexpected guests, and began worrying over him and checking for injuries.

Even a little nick from an Excalibur was fatal to most devils.

"I see," Eren said, returning his blade to his cane with a click. He poked around a bit with his cane till he found an exposed stump and then, unmindful of the dirt, sat down. "Are you going to kill them?"

The casual way he asked the question, the complete disregard for human life, sent a shudder through the spine of the newer members' backs.

Both exorcists focused more intently on the older boy, reevaluating him.

"Who are you?" Xenovia asked bluntly. "Are you also a survivor of the project?"

"I have no idea what project you are talking about," Eren denied. As he spoke, Kiba was glad to see Akeno, Koneko, and Sona circle around the boy, ready to protect him in case things went bad.

"The Holy Sword Project," Kiba spat out as Rias lifted him over her shoulder. "It took in orphans. Ran experiments on us. And when they were done with us? They killed us. Guns. Gas. They killed us all. Except for me."

Kiba was laughing bitterly, even as tears fell from his eyes.

He felt weak.

Impotent.

His vengeance was right here!

And not a single blade of his survived a clash.

Rias tightened her hold on her Knight even as Asia gasped and Issei's gauntleted fist clenched. The others already knew about it, but they all still looked angry. Even the executors looked uncomfortable.

"They're from the church," Kiba rambled. "All the pain we went through? They got the reward for that. This is my chance for vengeance."

Eren snorted.

"There's no such thing as a holy sword," he denied, unable to see the blades glowing power. "All swords exist to kill. It is as simple as that. But the church doing something like that, I can believe. Religion is for the mad, the desperate, and the cattle."

"Who are you?" Xenovia asked again, anger filling her voice. "Who are you to question God and his followers?"

"The Devil," Eren deadpanned as the actual devils winced in pain again from the exorcist's use of the word. "And I've never seen proof of god or that he cares about his followers. I have seen a few churches, though. I saw one collapse, killing all the 'followers' inside like bugs. No god saved them. I've destroyed a few myself. So who are you, followers of a god that isn't there?"

Sona and Rias hurried to share a few looks, and the redhead sent a few subtle directions at her Peerage.

The devils were tense, ready to act at the first sign of actual conflict, but they were also quiet. More than anyone else, they understood that Eren had a way with words.

For good and bad.

So long as everyone kept talking, killing time wouldn't be too bad.

More than that, it gave Asia time to heal the fighters and for them to recover. Every second that passed, the devil's side was in a better position if it did come to a fight.

Irina Shidou didn't seem to care.

"Shidou Irina," she introduced herself cheerfully, waving her whip-sword around. "Nice to meet you, Heretic-kun."

"Xenovia Quarta," Xenovia said with displeasure, much less exuberant than her companion. "I should not be surprised by your blasphemy, given your company. Swine lays with swine."

The devils bristled, but Eren simply hummed in thought. He still didn't express any emotion. Like he was going through the motions rather than feeling anything.

It was incredibly off-putting.

The last time he had been like this for so long was almost a year ago.

"Quarta? And with the church?" He tilted his head, idly tapping his cane. "Any relation to Griselda Quarta?"

Everyone stared at the blind boy in shock.

Except for Issei, who whispered into Koneko's ear.

"Who's that?"

"Exorcist," Koneko whispered back. Low enough that Eren couldn't hear, but Kiba was still a devil. "Top five."

"How do you know her?" Xenovia bit out, hands tightening around her sword handle. Irina looked from the blind boy to her companion in confusion.

"We've met. At a church, believe or not," Eren deadpanned. "How's her leg?"

Kiba was the fastest person there.

He had been on guard ever since the exorcists had appeared. His eyes tracked the Excalibur's like a hawk watching a mouse.

He was still almost too late.

CLANG!!

Eren didn't flinch as Excalibur Destruction was deflected less than a foot from his face.

The devils lept into action, surrounding the boy even as Xenovia retreated from her failed blow.

"Xenovia!" Irina cried in surprise as the blue-haired girl snarled.

"That's him!" The exorcist spat. "Eren Yeager! The Child of Evil!"

Irina's eyes widened, and Excalibur Mimic returned to its sword form.

Kiba didn't see any of it. He was too busy staring in shock at the black sword in his hands.

He had summoned it on instinct.

It hadn't shattered.

"Griselda should have survived," Eren said blandly, still not emoting. "If she got help quick enough, she should have even been able to save the leg. If she died, it was not my fault."

"She's still alive," Xenovia spat. "No thanks to you. You left her for dead."

"She shouldn't have gotten in my way."

"She was protecting people!"

"The people she was protecting were mercenaries and sex traffickers."

"They had surrendered! They were asking for sanctuary! From you!"

"I'm sure that matters to their victims."

"You blew up a church!"

"It should have been better protected if it didn't want to get destroyed."

Was he dreaming?

Was this real?

It was too surreal that Kiba wondered if he had actually died under Destruction's blade.

On one side was the shouting girl, waving a sword larger than herself and shouting accusations.

On the other was the blind boy sitting on a stump, answering blandly without any emotions.

It was like a twisted parody of Kiba's recent outburst of hysteric rage.

And the subject matter was even more unbelievable.

Eren, young, sickly and blind, knew Griselda Quarta? Had fought her? Beaten and injured her?

It was like Kiba was in a world where up was down, left was right, and his swords could suddenly stand up to an Excalibur.

Nothing made sense anymore.

But his body moved all the same.

CLANG!!

Excaliber Destruction bounced. Kiba did it again.

His sword deflected Excalibur.

This time, the attack didn't go without response.

"ENOUGH!" Rias shouted, glowing with power as Issei placed himself in front of Kiba and Eren. "You got what you wanted. Leave. Now! Another attack like that, and we will respond with lethal force."

Xenovia looked like she was ready to argue or even put up a fight, but she wasn't the first to respond.

"Why don't you?" Eren asked Rias. He was still speaking in that cold, plain monotone. "They're here. You outnumber them. I can help with the bodies. So why don't you kill them? They're Kiba's enemies, aren't they? Targets of vengeance who hurt him? So kill them."

Everyone looked at the boy, some in horror and others with consternation.

"Just as I would expect from the Child of Evil," Xenovia spat as she lept back towards her partner, facing the group side by side. "Bring it on. We are not scared of any of you."

"We are not killing anyone," Rias insisted as she glared at her friend. "If they were the ones who hurt Yuuto, I would. But they aren't. They're no older than us. So long as they leave us alone, I promised not to interfere and will not break my word."

Eren didn't know anything about the politics involved, Kiba could understand. He couldn't even see who he was threatening to kill.

As far as the blind boy was aware, there was a fight. He approached and found out it was the target of the Knight's vengeance. Everything Kiba knew about Eren Yeager told him that Eren would not hesitate.

But...

"I..." Kiba said, voice low with realization. "I didn't want to kill them. I just wanted to destroy their swords. Those cursed things. They're the reason all my friends died."

Both exorcists looked at the Knight in surprise, and Rias' eyes glowed with pride.

"Mmmh," Eren nodded. Then he pulled out his sword again. A sense of familiarity once again struck Kiba, like he had seen the flat blade somewhere before.

Eren held the thin sword before him, parallel to the ground.

Then he brought his elbow down on it.

It snapped.

The thin sword could not hold up to even the sickly boy's strength.

Bending down, the blind boy pawed around momentarily before finding the broken blade and picking it up. Without a handle, the razor-thin sword cut into his fingers and palm.

"Eren!" Sona shouted in shock, reaching down to get the boy to drop the blade even as his fingers bled. By the time she held his wrist, Eren had already thrown the sword at Kiba.

It missed. By a wide margin.

Eren was still blind, after all.

But it sank into the ground in the middle of the clearing, feet away from the Knight.

"If you are going to be stupid enough to believe that, use that sword. It will do you just as well as anything you might have," Eren said as the others fretted over him. He ignored them, pulling a roll of bandages from his pocket to wrap his hand.

Asia was already healing it, but he could not see the green glow.

"If that one breaks, I have dozens of the things," he said. "They're sharp. Made to cut through flesh. They'll cut you just as easily as any other blade."

"That will shatter in a second in a real fight," Xenovia said derisively.

"A sword is not meant to break swords," Eren replied. "A sword is made to kill. Ask Griselda. That blade is sharp enough to kill your actual target."

Then, the blind boy faced Kiba again, who was staring from his white blade to the razor in the ground.

"Hating inanimate objects is stupid. I know. I hated those walls for years. I still do. But your vengeance should never be against the walls but against the people who built them. It doesn't matter if you tear a thousand walls down if they are rebuilt."

Kiba started laughing.

He laughed and laughed and laughed.

Of course.

Of course, Eren was right.

So Kiba laughed and cried.

Excalibur had been broken before. That's why there were multiple swords now. Made from its fragments.

Kiba could break them and break them and break them, and there would still be fools who would torture children to reforge them.

Killing their wielders wouldn't even accomplish anything, either. There were always more slaves to the church to pick up the pieces.

It was all so pointless.

"Senpai," Kiba choked out through a sob. "What am I supposed to do?"

"That is your choice," Eren said simply. "I can't see your Path. I don't know what you will do or how it will end. All I see is my own. I had my vengeance. And I ended up alone for it. I would do it again, but I have regrets. Will you?"

Kiba looked at the exorcists. These girls had everything he had been promised. He looked at their swords. Those blades he and his friends had died for.

Then he looked at Rias, the girl who took him in even though he might not have anything to offer.

Akeno, who took care of him, taught him and cared for him like a sister.

Koneko, who looked up to him and held his hand on the first day of school because she had been scared.

Issei, the clumsy junior he took under his wing. Yuuto hadn't been called a Damn Handsome in weeks.

Asia, also betrayed by the church, yet so devoted to caring for others still.

And then he looked at the sickly boy on the stump.

At his Senpai.

At a twisted mirror of what he could become.

The black sword dissolved into motes of light.

"Now that this... disturbance has ended," Sona said with a sigh as she adjusted her glasses. "You can take your leave. We will not interfere with your search."

"Ah," Irina gasped and bowed in farewell as she spoke cheerfully. "It was nice to see you again, Issei-kun. Take care of yourselves, you filthy heathens."

Xenovia looked like she had swallowed a lemon, but she understood that further conflict would not help her mission. Still, she had a question she needed answering.

"How did you do it?" She asked, looking at Eren. Since he didn't respond, probably because he didn't know she was talking to him, the exorcist continued. "How'd you beat her? She never said."

"Beat her?" Eren asked. "Griselda? I didn't. I was nine. Nobody expects a child to stab them. I tricked her. It's why I went for her leg, to stop her from being able to fight in the first place. You can fight with one arm but not one leg. She was in the way of my mission, and I got rid of her threat. As simple as that."

"Why didn't you kill her?"

"Why would I? She hadn't wronged me. She wasn't even my enemy. I might have if she had a gun, but all she had was that stupidly oversized sword. She wasn't worth the loss of time it would take to kill her when my prey could run at any second."

Despite himself, Kiba couldn't help the snort of amusement that left his lips, mirrored by Akeno.

The idea that Griselda Quarta, famed exorcist and terror to devils everywhere, had been tricked by a human child and left to die because she 'wasn't worth killing' was too damn funny.

Xenovia's fingers twitched, but she swallowed her words and turned on a dime to stomp her way out of the forest. Irina hurried to follow with one last cheerful wave towards Issei.

There was a beat of silence as everyone waited for them to gain some distance.

"Dramatic." Koneko deadpanned.

"I only understood half of what just happened," Issei said, raising his hand as if in question.

"That's more than I expected."

"Hey!" Issei cried in self-defence as he whirled. Then he froze as he realized who had spoken. "Did you... Did you just make a joke?"

"Help me back to the bench," Eren said in his monotone, utterly unaware of the looks of disbelief he was receiving. "You haven't told me how the date went yet."

"Ah," Issei gasped and hurried to pull the boy up, slinging an arm over his shoulder. His face, as well as Asia's, was flushed completely red. "Hehehe." He laughed nervously as he led the boy back the way he came. Asia hurried to follow.

Those who remained watched them leave with a mixture of emotions.

"That boy," Akeno muttered, placing her hand on her cheek as she shook her head in silent laughter. "I can't tell if he's a good influence or not."

"Should I bake a cake?" Rias asked out of nowhere. When they looked at her, she explained. "For Eren's first joke with us. He's opening up. We should celebrate."

"He just told us to kill a couple of girls he had never met before," Kiba snorted, but he was smiling.

"I think it was sweet," Akeno giggled. "He was defending his Kohai."

"What do you think, Sona," Rias asked her rival, who continued staring after the departed boy. "Chocolate, vanilla, or ice cream?"

"I am not interested in cake flavours, Rias," Sona said as she removed her glasses to rub her eyes tiredly. "What I am interested in is how a nine-year-old human boy was able to injure one of the most dangerous women in the world enough that she couldn't fight anymore?"

"Anybody can be defeated if they are taken by surprise," Akeno shrugged. "I wouldn't expect a kid to stab me in the leg, either."

"...Sneaky," Koneko said with a thumbs up.

"Maybe," Sona said lowly, looking thoughtful.

"What is it?" Rias asked.

"Don't you think Eren is being too... blase about all this?" Sona asked, looking around. "He hears a sword fight and goes toward it instead of away. In that entire conversation, only my name gave him pause. I think..." She trailed off, worrying her lower lip.

"Eren's life hasn't been normal by any stretch," Akeno pointed out wryly.

"But that's just it," Sona pursed her lips as she adjusted her glasses. "Everything about him is slightly off. Names that don't fit. Events we can't trace. A timeline that doesn't line up."

"Lying?" Koneko asked with a frown.

"No way," Rias denied instantly. "There is no way I will believe what he... That what he told us is a lie. There was too much emotion, too many details, and over too long a period of time. Maybe your family's agents missed some stuff, that's all."

"It's possible, but everything on that file was verified. We are missing something. Some key fact. Some clue that will make everything make sense. And..." She paused, giving the matter another moment of thought. "And I think he knows something is going on."

"What do you mean?" Yuuto asked.

"I don't think he knows about the supernatural, or at least not fully, but he didn't even flinch when Asia started healing him."

"If he fought Griselda Quarta, he probably ran into other supernatural beings while he was active," Akeno nodded in agreement with Sona's words. "He probably saw things he couldn't explain but never got a full explanation of how the world really works."

"Should we tell him," Rias asked eagerly.

"Eren... probably already knows something is up with us," Sona continued, worrying her lip. "He's sharp enough and known us long enough that I can't imagine he doesn't know we aren't regular students. Today would just be proof. But he hasn't brought it up. It might be best to leave it for now. Until he asks, at least."

"Fine," Rias pouted. "But I get to be the one to tell him. I already have a speech and everything."

"Fufufufu," Akeno giggled behind her hand, eyes twinkling in mischief.

"There is another thing, though," Sona said, her smile muted as she shook her head at her rival's antics. "We might need to be more careful from now on. Eren has enemies. And now, they know he is here. Or at least the church does. We need to get those exorcists out of our territory immediately. I will have my Peerage send out their familiars to search for the Excaliburs."

"Trouble," Koneko nodded as she punched her fist into her palm.

"Hm," Rias gave the matter some more thought. "I know we said we would leave those exorcists alone, but we can do that and keep an eye on them. Maybe subtly point them in the right direction if we find the swords first." She looked at Koneko, who nodded, and then to Yuuto. "Can you do this?" She asked softly. "I don't want to leave Koneko alone when Excaliburs are involved. Can I trust you to keep calm and back her up?"

"You can," the Knight said as he saluted with one of his swords. The black blade glinted in the light.

"Hopefully, we all get out of this intact," Sona muttered as she eyed the blade curiously.

The next day, Kokabiel, cloaked from surveillance and scouting the local leylines under Kuoh Academy, found a blind boy sitting on a bench.

********

Beta: Old Man of the Mountain

There's a lot I want to say with this one, but at the same time, I think this is one of the cases where I am better off letting the readers form their own opinion, so I'll keep mum on most of it.

All I will say is that my experiment with tones continues. The hard-hitting emotional moments shifting to light-hearted jokes, to serious concern. It is a whiplash, but I hope it flows well enough.

I wish everyone a very happy new year, and I will meet you all, in 2024, on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 2, 2024

Kokiabel felt a shiver of excitement down his back.

Was this it?

Was he going to die here?

Now?

Could his millennia of life of warfare, victory, and defeat come to an end today?

Would all his planning, his careful orchestration of events to his benefit, fail fruitlessly here, right before the finish line?

Kokabiel was one of the very few beings aware of how useless plans were before this foe.

With a mad grin, the Angel of the Stars stepped towards the bench and the young man sitting on it.

... When he wasn't immediately attacked, Kokiabel's excitement and nervousness started to fade, and wary caution replaced it.

Step after step, the fallen Cardinal approached. He made no move to quiet his steps, knowing it was pointless.

Yet no attack came. No ambush or trap.

It was just him and the boy.

Which meant...

"What do you need?" Kokabiel asked, sitting beside the sickly boy on the bench.

It was better to work with him. Trying to defy him would be pointless.

Kokabiel thought his plan was foolproof, but if there was one thing he had learned in his life of war, nothing was without flaws.

"From you?" Eren Yeager asked, not looking at the Fallen but facing the sky.

As if he was really blind.

"Nothing."

Kokabiel scowled but didn't lash out at the human.

"Then why are you here?" He asked instead.

If Yaeger was not here for him, then he had another goal in mind.

He knew the depths of the power within the human. Even if Kokabiel was not the reason he was in Kuoh, somehow, their meeting was part of his plan.

Whatever it was.

"I'm retired," Yaeger answered simply. "Just waiting to die."

Kokabiel couldn't help the bark of laughter that escaped his lips.

"Aren't we all," he chortled to himself. "And you chose here? In the town with the sisters of the current Satans? You are up to something."

The boy shrugged as if unbothered by the Cardinal's disbelief.

Kokabiel was no fool.

If Eren Yeager was here, it meant Kokabiel's fate was in his hands already.

This conversation was enough for the fallen angel to understand he had fallen into a trap.

Still, the old war veteran couldn't help but ask the question. The same question that had teased his mind ever since he set out on this course of action. This final plan.

"Do I win?"

For a long minute, Eren Yaeger remained silent. Then he gave his answer.

"Does it matter?"

Did it?

Kokabiel would restart the Great War and fight his long-time enemies until he died in glorious battle. It wouldn't be long, but it would be glorious.

Sirzechs Lucifer or Serafall Leviathan would stop at nothing to tear him to shreds.

Or he would die in the attempt, and Azazel would have the grounds for the peace he had always wanted.

Peace. Something Kokabiel couldn't stomach but was necessary for his race's survival.

No matter what happens, Kokabiel, Angel of the Stars and Fourth Watcher, would face his end.

"No," Kokabiel spoke, turning from the bandaged boy and staring at the sky. "It doesn't."

For a minute, both were silent, facing the sky yet not seeing it.

One was thousands of years old and responsible for the death of hundreds of thousands of sapient beings.

The other wasn't even nineteen.

Both were terrible people by every metric imaginable.

Both had done everything they could for their people.

It was a silent moment of acknowledgment between two old soldiers, two men about to die.

That camaraderie, that resignation to an approaching doom, was why the words slipped out.

"I hate them."

The words were spat out with vitriol. Rage, despair, loathing, pain, and grief mixed in three words that failed to encapsulate all the emotions contained within.

"I hate them all," Kokabiel repeated, his fists clenching. The teenager made no sound. "They killed so many of us. My brothers and sisters. My comrades. My friends. Slaughtered. Tortured. Despoiled. I hate devils and their ilk. I hate the hypocrites that cast us out for doing our duty. I hate them all. Every one of them. I'll kill them all."

"Hate."

The boy tasted the familiar word, sampling it like one would a wine they knew intimately.

Then he shook his head.

"Old wars should be settled by old men."

The words of an old man in a young body.

Kokabiel knew that Yeager's abilities must be why he was like this. Why this mortal of only eighteen could speak on such subjects with such certainty.

Still...

"I know that," Kokabiel snapped, unwilling to be lectured by a boy in his teens. Even if it was Eren Yeager. "These kids," he spat the word. "They know nothing of war. Nothing of battles and death and destruction. They play their games. They fight for position and power. They only know peace."

"The goal of every war is peace." Yaeger was speaking, yet his words were light as if he didn't mean them, yet believed them to be true.

"THEN WHY CAN'T I BE AT PEACE?!" Kokabiel roared, standing from the bench and glaring at the boy. He didn't even flinch. "WHY CAN I NEVER HAVE THAT?! WHY DO I WANT TO FIGHT AND FIGHT AND FIGHT UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT BUT AN OCEAN OF BLOOD?! WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE ABLE TO FORGET WHEN I CAN'T?"

"They don't forget," Yeager spoke softly. "Nobody forgets war."

"Azazel is content to play with his toys," Kokabiel snapped, pacing in front of the bench as his wings flexed in agitation. "Penume drowns is sex. Baraqiel tried to play house." As if all the corpses at his feet were nothing more than waste. As if entire nations hadn't disappeared in a flash of Holy Lightning. "None of them care for the dead. Their grudges. Their wishes. What about their peace?"

Even as the fallen Watcher raged and paced, the boy sat still, unbothered by the being so beyond his league that fighting wasn't even a consideration.

They both knew who had the power here.

"We all move forward." Yaeger's voice was dry. Resigned. Words spoken a thousand times to a thousand people. "We all dream. But some dream of the sea. And some dream of what's beyond the sea. You and I? We dream of victory. They? They dream of a life after victory."

Kokabiel stop pacing.

"How?" He asked.

Not a plea.

A snarl.

Kokabiel would ever be the monster.

The fallen Cadre who tried to restart the Great War.

Whether he succeeded or failed, no one would ever celebrate his name. He'd be vilified by his own people, by his enemies, and the world.

A martyr nobody would celebrate.

But even monsters want to dream.

"I don't know."

Kokabiel barked a mad laugh.

He laughed and laughed and laughed.

His laughter was crazed, at once joyous as it was despairing.

It was the laugh of a dead man.

"If even Erin Yaeger doesn't know, what hope do I have of finding an answer," Kokabiel crowed in jubilation, arms spread up and wide to the sky as if to embrace the heavens. "If I shall never have peace. I shall have war!"

Then he rounded on the boy, marching with quick steps until he loomed over the tiny, sickly human. His shadow blotted out the fading light.

Yaeger did not so much as twitch.

Kokabiel longed to impale the boy on his spears, to force him to do... something. Anything.

Kokabiel wanted violence. He wanted rage and pain and death.

He didn't want this pitiful wreck of a man.

He wanted worthy foes.

Yet Eren Yeager was not one. Too weak. Too strong.

So Kokabiel sat down on the bench, his rage spent without an outlet to vent it on.

It left him... empty. Hollow.

What was he if not the rage?

"War is simple," Kokabiel spoke to the sky. "You kill your enemies, or they kill you. It brought out the best in us. The comradery, the passion, the bravery, the valour. It showed us who we were. We knew who were craven, duplicitous, and weak. It shaped us and forged us in the Holy Light and Demonic Dark. It was glorious."

He spoke the last word with a rapturous fascination. He would give anything to have those days back.

"We fought for something. A better future. And we were cast out. But we fought on. From one bloody battlefield to another. For centuries. And when He died? The victory was ours to claim. Our war was won. One final push, one last mountain of bodies."

That road to the top, paved with countless corpses, called to Kokabiel.

"But we didn't," the fallen spat. "We fled. Maybe if we had won, I would be able to close my eyes and not see them. Maybe I would not see their eyes accusing me. Why did they die if we would flee from victory? Why did we fight if we do not claim our prize?"

"Some soldiers die too young," Yaeger sighed, and, for the first time, his head turned from the dark sky to face the Fallen Angel. "Some soldiers live too long."

They sat there in silence for long minutes. The darkness of the park was contrasted by the city's light in the distance. Neither said a word. All that needed to be said had been said.

Then, when the time had come, Kokabiel stood.

"This seat is too uncomfortable to be my throne." Ten black wings flexed, and his almost vampiric features twisted in annoyance. "Irregular, too small yet too large. Old wood and steel. It makes me nostalgic for better times. It fits you, Child of Evil."

"This will be your last choice," Eren Yaeger said solemnly.

"I know not what your plan is, Yaeger," Kokabiel responded just as solemnly to the sickly boy. "Why you are here, nor what talking to me accomplished. I don't care. If you impede my plans, I will fight."

"I won't," Yaeger nodded.

"Then, no matter the outcome, I go to my last war."

********

It had been a good fight.

Two severed wings, a blackened stump of a hand, and dozens of wounds that bled freely.

Kokabiel laughed in glee.

More than he had ever wished, it had been a good fight.

The church executors had been barely noticeable, though a wielder of Durandal was a pleasant surprise.

No, it had been Gremory and her peerage that had been the real prize.

The Rook and Bishop weren't worth his interest, but the others?

They had gone above and beyond his expectations.

The Knight, a product of the Holy Sword Project, had achieved a mutated Balance Breaker before his eyes.

Holy and Demonic swords in a reincarnated devil.

The Old Man would be rolling in his grave.

Baraquiel's daughter was a gem and a half. It was crude, lacking the millennia of practice his comrade held with his element, but for a few moments, it was as if Kokabiel stood before the Lightning of God for one final time.

The Gremory herself was responsible for almost all the damage he had sustained. She didn't have the inborn instincts or power for the signature power of the Bael family as her brother did. She wasn't the monster Sirzechs was.

But she could be.

Kokabiel recognized it when he saw it. The hunger. The passion. The fear.

Rias Gremory wasn't born a monster. But she would shed blood until she became one.

The idea that the devils could gain a second Crimson Devil was so absurd that Kokabiel would have started a war just to stop it from happening.

But the greatest surprise was, hands down, the Red Dragon Emperor.

When the Cadre first heard that Ddraig's new host had been reincarnated as Devil, he immediately dismissed him as a threat.

Any Red Dragon Emperor that was reincarnated by someone not on par with a Satan, was automatically the weakest in history.

Vali would tear him apart in a heartbeat.

Then Kokabiel heard that he had achieved Balance Breaker in less than two months, and his hopes had risen.

Issei Hyoudou had surpassed even his wildest expectations.

The boy had not landed a single blow on the Fallen. In fact, Kokabiel's thoughts about him being the weakest Red Dragon Emperor ever were probably true if you just looked at his offensive capabilities.

But the Rook had not even tried to throw a punch once.

Instead, he had stood between Kokabiel and everyone else. All his Boosts went towards his durability or were passed to his comrades.

No matter the size of the attack, the potency of his Light, or how Kokabiel positioned himself, the boy was there—an impenetrable wall of red scale.

It was like seeing the true Red Dragon again.

So massive and powerful that even his greatest blow did naught but singe its scales.

Issei Hyoudou wasn't there yet.

He was too slow, and he couldn't leverage his body to counter properly yet, but with time to grow, he could be the greatest Red Dragon Emperor of all time.

Alone, they were impressive for their age.

Together?

Kokabiel had lost his wings when Hyoudou gained a hold, and the Gremory princess wrapped hoopes of Destruction around them. Reeling, he had blocked the Holy/Demon sword and Durandal with one hand and taken Holy Lightning with the other.

It had been his underestimating of them that had allowed them to hurt him, certainly.

But that they could hurt him at all was monumental.

Kokabiel hadn't been hurt at all in almost a century, and even that had been from the greatest exorcist the church had ever produced since the Great War.

Not even yesterday, he had cursed these children as not knowing war, of being addicted to peace.

He was right.

They didn't know the horrors of the Great War.

But they had it.

The killer instinct, the comradery, and the drive to push themselves till their bodies, minds, and souls cried out in pain.

Then they pushed some more.

Had they been born but a millennia earlier, Kokabiel would have been proud to give them a fitting death.

Instead, he would just make it quick.

He would despoil their bodies after they died, as had been done to his comrades during the Great War, to incite Sirzechs and Serafall further, but the children needn't be alive for that.

The fight had gone on long enough to know that neither Satan were coming.

Not even the revelation of God's death had drawn Heaven down or Hell up.

Were they so committed to peace that they would let these promising seeds die rather than take up arms again?

A shame.

With an idle thought, more spears of light gathered in the air. Unlike his earlier attacks, Kokabiel focused on them, carefully controlling their formation and angle of attack.

The children weathered the first volley well enough.

Baraquiel's daughter and the Ruin Princess dealt with many at range, and the rest of the group handled those that passed them well, deflecting and dodging those they couldn't destroy with sword or fist. The Red Dragon Emperor was solid, as ever, and the rest of the group slowly started to converge around him and the beacon of safety he provided.

That was their mistake.

It was easy to see the flaw in the Gremory peerage. They fought well, were more powerful than almost anyone their age, and were decently coordinated.

They had managed to injure him, after all.

But Kokabiel had not been entirely wrong about their lack of actual experience.

Tactically, they absolutely failed.

Even now, as they fended off an assault from hundreds of light spears, they failed to realize they were being corralled.

The Hyoudou boy was undoubtedly solid, but he was almost immobile because he focused on defending the rest. They, in turn, exacerbated the problem by giving more targets to defend.

The King and Queen of the peerage were powerful, but they lacked any sort of creativity with their magic. They were so focused on their attack magic that they failed to account for supplementary spells that would help the group remain mobile, hidden, or provide support.

Without the others to provide them opportunities, the sword wielders and Rook were unable to affect the battle in a significant way.

They had lost as soon as Kokabiel decided to take them seriously.

If he hadn't needed to keep their bodies intact, he would have simply blasted them and this town to pieces.

With all his enemies in a close grouping, another rain of spears fell from their hidden position in the clouds directly above the defenders.

With their death, Kokabiel would have his war.

[Divide!]

[Divide!]

[Divide!]

[Divide!]

[Divide!]

Kokabiel's war died with his spears of light as power flowed out of him and into a man in white armour.

It happened quickly.

Blink, and you'd miss it.

Kokabiel felt his remaining wings being severed. White armoured fists pounded into his body with stollen strength.

Kokabiel felt weak. Weaker than ever before.

In any other situation, he would have appreciated the irony.

Ddraig would rise to meet his foe.

Albion lowered his foe to his level.

As his plan came undone, Kokabiel felt rage well up within himself. He embraced the familiar fire as consciousness added.

Was this why nobody had answered his call to war?

Was Vali the reason why Michael did not descend from his throne?

Was the White Dragon Emperor, surely here at Azazel's behest, why the Satans were so sure of their sibling's survival?

Kokabiel could see it now. Could see the plan that had been woven around him. He had suspected but hoped to be wrong.

Kokabiel hadn't meant to restart the Great War. He had been a tool, a patsy, for his leader to have the justification to bring the other leaders to the negotiation table.

Even the Gremory peerage hadn't been in danger with the White Dragon Emperor nearby.

Kokabiel had been used to give them the experience he had just lamented they lacked, and as soon as it would cost them, Vali had descended.

The brat probably thought it was an excellent idea to toughen up Ddraig's wielder for their inevitable fight.

Kokabiel had been a puppet on a string dangling from the Scapegoat's hands.

A fitting name.

A scapegoat is what Azazael had made him. Like so many of his fallen comrades.

Scapegoats for peace.

Kokabiel had known that his failure would lead to peace, had expected it even, but still, he raged.

Raged at the vengeance he was denied.

Raged at the end of his war.

Then the rage, too, left him as he was carted back to the Grigori.

All that was left was amusement, wry and sadistic.

Kokabiel remembered the boy on the bench.

The boy who had known what was going to happen and known the foolishness of the fallen who visited him yet still offered an ear to an old soldier.

Kokabiel, Fallen Archangel of the Stars, was imprisoned in the ice of Cocytus, and, with his defeat, the great peace conference of Kuoh was called.

There, for the first time, a peace treaty between all three biblical factions was signed, marking the death of the Great War that had raged, on and off, since time immemorial.

One would expect that the fallen Cadre would lament or continue to rage in the wake of his failure.

Instead, the face below the ice of the Cocytus' frozen waters was light with laughter and mad joy.

Kokabiel's war died with him.

Eren Yeager's war had only just begun.

Kokabiel, as the ice consumed him, laughed madly, remembering the boy on the bench.

********

A big thanks to my Beta: Old Man of the Mountain.

It's been a while since I posed. Over a year. My, how the time flies.

I have seen Kokabiel portrayed in a few ways in fanfiction. Some added nuance to his character that was lacking in the books because of his short appearance. I like that, turning a two-bit villain of the week into a complex character. Something like that can only happen in fanfiction. I wanted to do something similar without sacrificing what was shown about his character.

I did not want Kokabiel to be a hero as he is sometimes portrayed. While a fascinating read, that is entirely at odds with his canon self, which I have tried to stick to this entire story. He isn't a noble soldier, no matter what he thinks of himself. Even in this fic, his perspective warps how he sees Azazel and everyone else. He is unable to recognize kindness, forgiveness, or anything like it.

Kokabiel is a monster. A warmonger who would drown the world in blood and fire. There is no excuse for that.

But there is a reason for it.

If you fight in an eternal war, where your enemies are literal devils, and you are cast aside by your leader/creator/dad, you bet your ass there is trauma there. It is why Fallen Angels are such a common enemy in the series.

As a society (before the Evil Pieces, at least), the Grigori were the best off after the war. But they were also the most scarred. Every Fallen we meet is deeply traumatized in some way. It does not excuse them, but it makes them understandable.

At least, that is what I am going for.

It is important to remember that even if someone has reasons for their actions, and everyone does, it does not make their actions acceptable. AOT is great about that, and I want this fic to reflect that a bit.

Happy New Year to everyone, and I will see you all next week on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 7, 2024

"I had my revenge," Yuuto said somberly, staring at the sword in his hand.

It was a familiar shape, flat and straight.

Designed to cut through flesh like a razor rather than the larger, more jagged swords he usually summoned. Those had been created to break other blades. It wasn't European or Japanese, his usual preferences.

This was the length of one of his usual blades, but its colouring proved it wasn't a standard sword.

One side of the flat sword pulsated with a black so dark it seemed to suck in all light.

The other side was radiant with white light, warm and bright as if to eclipse the sun.

Yuuto's Balance Breaker.

Something he had strived to attain for years yet had always been beyond his reach.

He hadn't attained it when he achieved his long-sought revenge.

"And?" Eren asked.

"And what?" the Knight asked, unsure what his Senpai was asking about.

Eren paused as if hesitating on the exact words to use. When he finally spoke, it was in a surprisingly gentle tone.

"What did it cost?"

Ah. Right.

Eren's vengeance had cost him everything, hadn't it?

It left him without friends and family, to live out his final years of life alone in a foreign country.

It had cost him the guilt of the innocent blood on his hands, the regret of the future that could have been, and the love of his life.

It made sense he would want to know what it had cost Yuuto.

Which made the words the Knight spoke all the more brutal.

Yet it had to be said.

"Nothing." There was disbelief in his tone as if even Yuuto couldn't believe them even as he spoke. "It was risky and dangerous, and things could have gone wrong in a dozen different ways." The blond laughed lightly as if the idea of him surviving was funny in and of itself. "But I did it. We did it. We all made it out, and it cost me nothing."

If Yuuto had expected Eren to be jealous or disgruntled at the younger boy's fortune, he would have been disappointed.

"Good," Eren grunted with a nod.

It seemed like the blind boy was prepared to accept that is the final word and end the subject.

Yuuto, though, was not ready to end it. He wanted to talk about it. Needed to talk about it.

Needed to be understood.

Even if he had to be vague about the details, Yuuto wanted to explain, to justify himself to the only person in the world he felt could understand him. He wanted his Senpai to know.

"I almost failed," he confessed, and the words came tumbling out from there. "My target was right before my eyes. Not those girls, but the actual man who had hurt me. Who killed all my friends and left me for dead. Valper Galilei." The name was spat with vile venom. Even now, the name tasted foul on his lips. "He was right there. But Koneko was injured." Before Eren could ask, the Knight hurried to answer. "She's fine now. But she was in danger. So were Issei and Asia. But Valper was getting away."

"What did you choose?" Eren asked somberly, understanding what Yuuto was trying to convey without needing it explicitly spelled out.

"I chased Valper," the Knight said, his voice flat. "Despite my promise to Rias, I chased him."

He paused and stared at the sword in his hand. Black energy pooled and swirled.

"But?" Eren prompted.

"But the weights on my scale were all wrong," Yuuto confessed. "I barely made it ten feet. My feet wouldn't move. He was right there, and I couldn't move. My feet. My back. My heart. It all weighed too much."

That had been when he attained his original Balance Breaker.

[Inferno]

A demonic sword subspecies. A blade of evil. A twisted, cruel sword meant to wreak vengeance on his enemies.

It had been HIS Balance Breaker.

For the short time he had it.

His first and only act with that evil sword was to save his friends.

"You made your choice," Eren nodded, and something in his voice tore the Knight's attention from his sword to look at the older boy.

Sympathy. Pride. Maybe... approval?

"Was it like that with you, Senpai?"

"No." Eren shook his head, and all emotion drained from his voice again. "I kept running. Not just once or twice. Over and over, I chose to keep running. I continued to run forward for my revenge even as people, corpses, were left in my wake."

"What changed?" The Knight couldn't help but ask, remembering their first conversation. "When did you stop running just for vengeance?"

It spoke of their friendship that Eren only paused for a heartbeat before answering.

"When I fell in love and saw what it would cost," Eren said gravely. "I never stopped running. I just saw a face I didn't want to leave behind. I just saw the people I would trample to get it. You know the rest. I discovered a way to have my vengeance and ensure they'd live long, happy lives after I was gone. A way to end it all. That made it worth it to me, despite the cost."

"Better than a half-assed reason like mine," the Knight laughed in derision at himself. "I just couldn't live with myself if I kept running."

"It was the right decision," Eren chastised lightly. "It is very rare and precious to be able to look back at a choice and say with certainty that you made the right one. We are always asking ourselves, 'What if.' You made a choice. You had your vengeance, which cost you nothing you couldn't pay. Take solace in that."

He was right, Yuuto knew, even if Eren didn't understand just how lucky they had all been to survive Kokabiel.

Not just survive, the Knight corrected himself. Benefit from.

And none more so than Kiba Yuuto.

Not only had he managed to kill the man responsible for all his pain and loss, but he had also managed to destroy a reforged Excalibur.

Most importantly, Yuuto had met his friends one final time in that remnant of souls harvested from their bodies.

He had seen their spirits, their Light, and knew they forgave him. For continuing to live, for surviving when they all died.

That Light was here. In Yuuto's blade. It always would be with him. It reassured him. Comforted him.

Absorbing that Light had led to a mutation in his Balance Breaker.

The dark, jagged and cruel blade of [Inferno] had given way to the flat sword in his hand.

[Purgatorio]

A sword for cutting and killing, but only what needed to be cut.

No longer HIS blade, it was now THEIR Balance Breaker.

A disposable blade perfect for someone who could forever remake it.

Perfect for children tossed away, yet coming back over and over until they had their vengeance.

Perfect for a man whose only salvation could come from the hands extended to him by others.

Staring at the sword in his hand, the Knight smiled wryly. His Balance Breaker imitated blades he had only seen three times in his life. He finally had a sword like the people he admired most.

Souji-sensei would be disappointed it was not a katana.

But Eren was right.

Yuuto dissipated the sword into motes of black and white light.

"You were right, in the end," the Holy Demonic sword wielder said. "My vengeance became a tangential thing. Something I wanted, but it wasn't all I wanted."

"Good," Senpai nodded. "Getting revenge is satisfying. Anybody who says it isn't is lying. But it is not all that the world has to offer. Men like us, sometimes find a new target when we have our revenge. A new grudge. That is where the danger is. Even if we claim our new target, it will never feel the same as the first. And like an addiction, you will always be chasing that feeling down. You need to find the beauty of life away from vengeance."

Yuuto could understand that. He still didn't like the church and the way they had turned a blind eye to the tragedies that benefited them.

It wasn't impossible that in another life, or if he had made another choice, he would have pursued vengeance against everyone involved or who had benefited from his pain.

But...

The Knight remembered a broken blade in the dirt, the blood of his Senpai still staining its razor edge.

Rias had taken that blade to have people examine Eren's blood, hoping for a cure, but Yuuto could still see that crimson-stained sword in his mind.

The Kiba Yuuto who pursued the path of vengeance to the end would have picked up that blade and sliced his new comrades' throats. He'd have gone Stray for his vengeance.

That Kiba Yuuto would not look at the lost, betrayed, and hurt Xenovia Quarta, his fellow Knight, and remember Eren's words.

Yuuto understood her in that moment of terrible realization.

God was dead.

Her entire life had been a lie. She was lost. Alone. Unsure what to trust and who to blame.

There was evil in the world. Kiba Yuuto still firmly believed that, and his blade was there to cut them down.

But people? People were just people.

So Kiba Yuuto extended his hand to the woman he had tried to kill.

Issei, Asia, and now Xenovia.

When had he become someone to look to for guidance?

The idea made the Knight laugh lightly.

Still, it was the role of Seniors, wasn't it?

To guide their Juniors.

"What's funny?" Eren asked, and Yuuto realized he had been silent for a while.

Yuuto decided to skirt the truth a bit.

"Xenovia, the girl we almost killed, whose guardian you almost laimed?" Eren nodded to show he remembered her. "She's going to school here now. She's part of the club. She might even visit you."

"I... see," Eren said slowly, clearly confused. "She here of her own free will, right? To join the club of the people she fought only a few days ago? She didn't seem to like you very much."

"She did," the Knight reassured the older boy. "She recently had a disturbing revelation about people she used to trust. Rias offered to take her in, and she accepted. I was laughing because I realized I had some really interesting Juniors. I wouldn't have believed it if you told me who they were a year ago."

"Ah," Eren nodded gravely. "Enemies can become allies if the cause is right and interest aligns. They can even become lovers. I think that is what happened to my best friend, though I can't say for sure. Just know it will take time if you want to pursue something like that."

"No, no," Yuuto laughed lightly, waiving off the idea. "I am still not certain I want anything to do with romance, to be honest. At least not now. And if I did, Xenovia isn't really my type."

The former exorcist wasn't unattractive by any standards. Issei had put it best, if crudely, while they were looking for the Exorcists the other day, before the whole mess with Kokabiel.

'Have you seen a pair of glorious Oppai hidden by an ugly cloak?'

"You don't have to fall in love," Eren allowed. "And romance isn't for everyone."

"I am not opposed to it," the Knight hedged, wondering how to put it into words without sounding like... well, like Issei. "It's just that girls my age seem so... immature. I don't think they're stupid," he hurried to clarify. "Just... There's a gap, a divide between how people my age should feel and how I usually feel. Am I making sense?"

"In a way," Eren tilted his head. "You know my situation as well as anybody. I might give advice when asked, but my experience with love is... bad. Or at least not normal. I can understand your feelings, though. For the longest time, I couldn't understand why everyone else didn't feel the same rage and passion as I did. It seemed so simple to me, so obvious, that anybody who disagreed with me wasn't just wrong. They were cowards. It took a long time for me to realize I was the odd one, not them."

"I know I am the weird one," the Knight said wryly. "The need for revenge always burned hotter with me than it did with the others. I couldn't help it though."

"I don't think that's wrong," Eren said plainly. "Especially now that you have accomplished your goal. All I will say is that you must find something that ignites that spark again, even if it is not as bright. Rias asked me to give Issei love advice, and it seemed to help, but that is for him. All he thinks about is girls. You can find anything you want that keeps you moving forward. Romance is but one option. There are others."

"I am not against falling in love," Yuuto said slowly, putting his thoughts together.

It was for reasons like this that talking to Eren was so enjoyable despite the dour topics they covered. Before sitting on the bench, the Knight hadn't given any deep thought to where he wanted to go from there.

"I even had a crush, once upon a time. I was younger. Barely a boy. And she is older, much older, so I never gave it serious thought."

Age differences weren't a big deal for devils, but Yuuto knew the woman was also a reincarnated devil and considered him a child. It had been the emotions of a troubled and unaware boy.

He hadn't seen her in years, so the feelings had long faded. He did remember the gentle curve of her lips when she gave one of her rare smiles. That had stuck with him every time he thought about his 'ideal' type.

"Love has always been something for others, not for me. A lot of things were like that."

"Now they are not," Eren said soberly. "Now you have an unknown future ahead of you. That is scary. But you are free to decide what you want to do. But what do you want? What future do you want to build?"

"I want to be a better cook."

Both boys had a moment of surprised silence as the words slipped from the blond's mouth.

"What?" Eren's voice wasn't filled with disbelief so much as bafflement.

Yuuto was just as surprised but started to explain himself as the thoughts came to him.

"I like cooking," he said as much to himself as to his Senpai. "Always have. But Akeno is better. I never thought about it before, but now I think I want to be better than her. Especially at baking."

"Ok," Eren nodded slowly, still clearly thrown by the unexpected admission but willing to go along with it. "It is not a bad goal. I... can't really help much with it. I am a terrible cook. Though I am very good at cleaning."

"You can taste test," Yuuto said absentmindedly. Now that the idea had come, inspiration flashed through his mind. "A bakery. That's what I want. One day, I'll open Isaiah's bakery. That's the goal I'll pursue for now. It might be a small one, and I might change my mind later, but it is something I can work towards."

"There is no dream too small," Eren said, and there was no mistaking the approval in his voice. "Only too big. A bakery is a fine dream. Why 'Isaiah'?"

"That was my birth name," Yuuto explained. "Before Rias took me in and gave me my current one. I still want to be 'Kiba Yuuto.' I am not Isaiah anymore, but I don't want to forget."

Isaiah had died with his friends, and Kiba Yuuto had been born from that child's body.

But just like he now carried his friends with him in his sword, he would carry Isaiah and his dream.

For hours, a Senpai and a Kohai conceived of the greatest bakery the underworld would ever know under the darkening light as they sat on the bench.

********

A bit on the shorter side of things, but volume 3 of DxD is such a significant turning point for Kiba that often goes overlooked in fanfiction that it didn't feel right to not give him the time to close things out.

For those whose only experience with DxD is the anime, in the light novels, Kiba explicitly remains as 'Kiba Yuuto,' unlike Koneko. The Bakery dream is also canon, and he expressly stated his favourite part of a woman is her lips.

Fun fact: The balance breaker Kiba gains in cannon, the Holy/Demonic sword, is explicitly only possible because he absorbs some of the Light from his dead friends' spirits. Without that, his regular Balance Breaker would be closer in keeping with a pure Demonic Sword, as he has a great affinity for that type of sword.

There were a lot of questions after the last chapter, which I expected. I won't answer most of them; as I said, I want people to be able to reread this after the end and go, 'How did I miss this!' like I did with AOT. Catching things like that was very fun for me, and I want my readers to experience that, too.

I will answer one misunderstanding some people have, though. This is not the end of On The Bench. When I said it would be 'short,' I meant in comparison to my other fic, which, at the time of writing this, is sitting at around 600k words. Volume 4 will mark the end of part 2 of this fic, roughly the halfway mark. The shortness is because of the size of the chapters and the smaller number. I fully expect to get to reach at least 150k in this work.

And if you are confused now? Well... *Mwahahahaha* It's going to get worse before it gets better. I just hope it is engaging, interesting, and, for those interested, it makes sense on the reread.

I look forward to it and will see you all next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 9, 2024

Sona felt the headache build behind her eyes, but she couldn't even rub her temples.

"SO-TAN!" Miracle-girl Levi-Tan continued to holler as she shook Sona back and forth in a tight hug.

"So-tan?" She heard Issei ask quietly.

At any other point, she would appreciate his helping Saji calm the students and parents when they came to gawk at the 'magical girl cosplayer.'

Right now?

All Sona wanted was to find a hole to crawl into to die.

"Levi-tan missed you!" The Satan continued to wail loudly as she flailed Sona around like a rag doll. "Did you miss me? Did you? Did you? Did you?"

"Ufufufu," Akeno giggled at the sight. "That is Sona's sister."

"But... isn't her sister..." Issei trailed off as he no doubt felt the horror Sona felt daily.

"The Satan Leviathan? Yes. Yes, she is." Akeno was taking far too much pleasure in this. Sona would have to get back at her later. "All the Satans are... unique. Lady Leviathan is much like Lord Lucifer and dotes on her sister."

"I 'id't 'no 'ot 'u' 'ere 'oming," Sona tried to speak, but it came out muffled against the most famous pair of breasts in the underworld.

Damn her sister.

She'd hit her growth spurt soon.

"I almost missed it," Serafall cried, hugging Sona tighter. Was that her spine or a rib-cracking? "Your message was intercepted. It was that bitch Gabriel! I was going to go 'Pew-pew' to get it back!"

There had been no message.

Sona had, very carefully, not communicated the date for Kuoh Academy's parent visit date. Despite wanting to see them, she hadn't even mentioned it to her parents or aunt, lest her sister find out.

"But Mi-chan told me we'd be late if I invaded Heaven."

Sona felt an odd mixture of gratefulness and spite toward her aunt.

On the one hand, her sister invading Heaven would no doubt restart the Great War, something they had gone through a lot of effort to prevent recently.

On the other hand, Serafall would not be here.

Then, a scarier thought entered the Sitri Heiress' mind, and she froze.

She hugged her sister back.

"Ah," Serafall exclaimed in joyful surprise. "So-tan? You missed me! Is it finally yuri-yuri time?"

"I missed you," Sona said, head finally peeking out from her sister's cleavage. She wasn't even lying. Despite Sona's considerable embarrassment at Serafall's antics, she did love her sister and was happy to see her. She just wished the Leviathan behaved more... appropriately, as befitted her station. "Are you here to watch me in a class?"

More importantly, going along with the Leviathan's antics was the best way to direct her attention from unwanted directions.

Like a blind boy on a bench.

Sona had been meticulous in only using Sitri agents when looking into Eren's background. If Serafall ever found out she was investigating a boy her own age...

Sona shuddered in horror.

Even her parents only thought she was scouting a potential new recruit for her Peerage.

"Mhmh," Serafall nodded, eyes sparkling in joy. That was literal. There were actual stars in her eyes. They twinkled. "I get to watch So-tan be all serious and smart and cute and cool. Mi-chan is also here. She was looking for you. She needs to refill her So-tanium too."

Sona felt a wave of gratitude at her honorary aunt at that moment. She knew her sister's Pawn did not like leaving her cottage, preferring to spend her days in peace in her territory, away from politics and combat.

The fact that she always visited when Sona went home for the summer and was here now filled the student's heart with warmth.

But that didn't change the fact that neither of them could learn about Eren's existence.

Her aunt would tell her King immediately. Despite their opposite natures, Serafall was her best friend, and the pair saw each other regularly. Serafall would know everything within a week.

Then Eren would die.

Or, worse, her sister would embarrass Sona so much that she'd need to die to purge her shame.

"Lunch is going to end soon," Sona half lied, trying to extricate herself from her sister's arms. She didn't succeed. "I need to get back to class. Why don't you find Aunty and tell her you found me?"

"But, but, but, but," Serafall stuttered, sounding like she would cry. "But I just found So-tan. And we haven't had yuri-yuri time."

"I will still be here," Sona said, ignoring the last part with the ease of long practice. "I want to see Aunty too. And then we can talk after school at the house."

Far from the park and the boy in it.

"Moouu, fine," the Satan pouted as she lowered Sona back to the ground. "But don't do anything cute till I get back with Mi-chan and the camera."

"I promise," Sona said seriously, and it was everything she could do not to deadpan.

"Gah," Serafall gasped in an exaggerated manner, stumbling back dramatically, clutching her heart. "Like that! Serious So-tan is super cute! Don't do that again, or Levi-tan will not be able to leave."

Sona didn't say anything else, unwilling to push her sister further.

"I'm going, I'm going," Serafall said, large crocodile tears filling her eyes as she looked at the student council president. "So-tan is a meanie."

Then, with a twirl of her too-short pink skirt, Miracle Girl Levi-tan disappeared in a shower of sparkles.

Sona pretended not to notice as Serafall Leviathan flashed the entire gymnasium her panties as she cast a spell to alter everyone's memories.

The crowd that had gathered blinked stupidly. Sona could have done without the need to hypnotize the entire gymnasium, as well as leave the sparkles behind, but she still admired the control of her sister's spell.

But now was not the time for that.

Sona needed to focus on crisis management if she wanted to go the entire day without being forced to join a convent out of shame.

Which was a much bigger deal for devils.

It took less than a second for Sona to adjust her uniform, control her hair, and align her glasses before she whirled on the only occupants of the room who hadn't just been mind-wiped.

Saji, Akeno, Xenovia, Issei, and Asia.

Rias wasn't there, likely dealing with her own visitors, which was good. Lord Lucifer or Lord Gremory would let Eren's existence slip to her sister for amusement if they found out about him.

"That was well done," Akeno giggled with a golf clap. "I was expecting you to run away crying and for her to chase you yelling 'So-tan, So-tan!' I am a bit disappointed you learned how to deal with her."

Damn sadists.

"Leviathan is a magical girl," Xenovia was muttering to herself in shock. "Lucifer is henpecked. Both are sis-cons. My entire life has been a lie."

Sona didn't have time to deal with the new Knight's trauma.

"Get Rias from her brother and father," Sona ordered the Queen. "Then tell her to take them home immediately after school. No dawdling."

"Uh," Issei raised his hand in question. "I still don't understand what is going on. Why is a Satan a Magical girl?"

"Not important," Sona cut him off with a swipe of her hand. "What is important is keeping her, my aunt, and Rias' family from discovering Eren."

"Why," Saji said with a pained grimace.

Sona felt sympathy for her Pawn. She really did. She wasn't unaware of his affection for her, and she had tried to let him down easily.

Unlike other devils, she never wanted to leverage her position as King to gain romantic favour from her Peerage.

Still, it didn't mean she would tolerate dawdling just because he felt antagonism towards Eren without ever meeting the boy.

"Lord Lucifer is already aware of him," Akeno shrugged, the sadistic smile still on her face. "We passed Eren's blood samples to him to give to Lord Beelzebub to try and find a cure. It seems like he has taken it as a personal challenge."

"And is Lord Lucifer aware of how much time Rias spends with Eren?" Sona adjusted her glasses so they'd flash ominously. "Or would you like me to tell Lady Lucifuge about some of the outfits you wear when meeting Eren? I haven't heard one of her speeches about propriety in a few years."

If Sona was going down, she wouldn't go alone.

They could all join the same convent.

"Nobody saw them," Akeno hurried to defend herself. "He's blind. And the thought of dressing like that where anybody can catch us... nnnngggg."

Akeno shuddered, and Saji stepped back, eyes wide in surprise. Both Issei and Asia shared beet-red looks.

Xenovia was still traumatized.

Sona was unperturbed, well used to the half-fallen's inclinations.

All the Sitri did was continue to stare down the female pervert until she got the message.

"Fine," Akeno pouted, crossing her arms under her bust so it bounced. "But we can't leave the school early. We're skipping the last classes to free Gasper today."

"Congratulations," Sona said immediately. She was genuinely happy for her friend. Being unable to control Gasper's power had been a significant thorn in Rias' side for years. It also showed she was nearing her goal of Ultimate Class. "But then we'll need to take Eren away for the day. One of us will have to slip away immediately after class without them realizing we're gone."

"Is the Child of Evil a threat?" Xenovia whispered/asked Issei, finally snapping out of her funk. "Can I kill him?"

"What? No!" Issei cried, aghast. "Why are you so set against Eren anyway?"

"He nearly cut off my guardian's leg," Xenovia said seriously.

"Yeah, but Asia healed her, didn't she?"

"It's true," Asia chimed in like an eager puppy sticking its nose into a bag. "I can't heal Mr. Eren, but Miss Griselda is all better. And Mr. Eren is really kind. Um, most of the time."

"He still almost killed her," Xenovia insisted.

Sona ignored their little by-play. She had much more important things to worry about than the former exorcist.

Like preventing her family from embarrassing her in front of the whole school, her friends, and her crush.

Not necessarily in that order.

"I will ask Koneko to sneak off after we let Gasper out," Akeno nodded as she leaned in to conspire with Sona. "She's been trying to get Eren to take her to a new snack store. It shouldn't be too hard. You know he has a soft spot for her. But I don't know how we will keep him hidden with the peace conference happening here."

"Peace conference?" Sona asked.

"Lord Lucifer let it 'slip,'" Akeno rolled her eyes fondly. "They're using Kokabiel's recent attack as an excuse to hold a peace conference between all three factions. It's going to be held at Kuoh."

"And I wasn't told," Sona hissed.

This was big.

Huge really.

The ceasefire had waxed and waned over the years, but all three factions were technically still at war.

That there would be a peace conference, and it was in her territory?

"You probably would be," Akeno shrugged. "Part of the reason Lord Lucifer and Lord Gremory are here is to evaluate the territory before it is finalized. But once it is, Kuoh will be crawling with security from all three factions. Eren will be found unless he leaves town."

"He won't leave," Sona said immediately, and Akeno nodded. Both knew how stubborn that boy could be.

Still, the Sitri heiress' mind was working a mile a minute.

She had never achieved such clarity of thought before, and Sona would have marvelled at it, but it didn't matter.

Right now, all she needed to do was to save Eren's life, her life, and her sanity.

Again, not necessarily in that order.

"But he's human. And the only supernatural aspect about him is his life force, which most can't sense." Sona quickly put together a plan. It was rough, but it might work. "After today, we stay away from him. No visits, no familiars, nothing. Just between when people start to arrive and the end of the peace conference."

"Any security will notice him right away," Akeno pointed out. "He's inside the wards."

"Most will only realize that we 'let' him through the wards of the park. If we don't draw attention, he'll be safe with all the extra security in the area. We'll exploit the blindness most people have towards humans," Sona explained easily. Devils, angels, fallen, or even anyone else of power simply ignored humans without magic, Sacred Gears, or something equivalent. "I don't care if they see him. They just can't connect him to us. Eren just needs to remain unnoticed for a few days."

The only risk would be the church. They might hold a grudge. Sona would keep an eye on them. They'd think of another plan if Griselda arrived as security, but that was unlikely. She was half retired.

More importantly, Sona didn't want her sister or aunt to find him.

It was for Eren's safety, really.

Would it also save Sona from taking vows of chastity and locking herself away from the world out of shame?

Yes, but it was mainly for Eren's sake.

Really.

"It has been a while since I saw Aunty," Akeno asked with a light smile. "Yuuto will be happy. He hasn't seen her in years, either."

Sona's eyebrow twitched, but Issei interrupted before she could say anything.

"Who's your aunt? Is she hot?" he asked eagerly, always happy to talk about women. Asia pouted beside him. "Kiba has a devil girlfriend? He never told me."

"He does not," Sona declared as she crossed her arms in a huff. "She is my sister's Pawn. My adoptive aunt."

"Yuuto had the biggest crush on her," Akeno giggled behind her hand. "He'd follow her around everywhere, asking for training or trying to help her. It was so cute."

"So he's into MILFs," Issei crowed triumphantly. "That's why he never went on a date with his fans, the Damn Handsome. I'm so proud. How's her oppai?"

"Uuuu," Asia whined piteously, looking down at her own modest bust.

"Leviathan's Pawn?" Xenovia murmured to herself. "I have never heard of her."

"She's pretty," Akeno giggled in answer to Issei as Sona's eyebrow twitch returned with extra force. "But I'm bigger."

Just for emphasis, Akeno put an arm under her boobs and bounced them suggestively while shooting a challenging look at Sona.

The twitching was getting worse.

Was everyone trying to anger her today? And shouldn't they be focusing on the crisis here?

Sona didn't want to join a convent.

"But yes, Aunty is beautiful. And you wouldn't have heard of her Xenovia. She was reincarnated before we were born and rarely leaves her land. She doesn't like to fight. And since Satan Peerages don't fight in Rating Games, if they don't take missions, they can go years without being seen if they want."

"Still," Xenovia crossed her arms in thought. "As exorcists, we needed to study all the Satan's Peerages in case we run into them in the field, as well as all well-known devils and their abilities. That I was never told about her is suspicious."

"It isn't," Sona denied, wanting to end this topic. "Aunty's last mission was years ago. One of her only ones. And the church would not want to talk about it to their younger members."

"Why?"

"I made them look bad."

Sona whirled, eyes lighting up with joy as she caught sight of the familiar woman. The small smile on her face, so rare and precious, lit up Sona's heart.

"Aunty," she said with joy as she hugged the older woman.

"It is good to see you, Sona," her aunt said softly, pulling her tight.

""Whoa."" She heard Issei and Saji say at the same time.

She couldn't blame them, even if she wanted to tell them to stop staring.

Mikasa Ackerman wasn't as voluptuous or sexy as most natural devils, but she was still very pretty.

With Asian and European mixed features, long black hair, and a body built from training, she fulfilled the image of classical beauty the Japanese had. Her conservative clothing belied the dense muscles and undersold just how deadly the woman really was.

Hers was an intense beauty, unlike the softness of Akeno, Rias or even Serafall. She held herself like a blade, accentuated by her training and form-fitting clothes. Sharp and ready for action.

The only extraneous ornament on her was the red scarf she never went anywhere without, and even then, it was tucked tight so as not to get caught by enemies.

"Um, they look alike," Asia commented with wonder.

Sona's cheeks burned, embarrassment warring with pride. Sona had always looked up to her sister's Pawn.

Mikasa's competence, her maturity and grace, and even her confidence, she admired it all.

Sona was self-aware enough to know that her honorary aunt had been the greatest female role model in her life.

She broke the hug and met her aunt's gaze.

"You've grown again," Mikasa said gently. That was true. Now, Sona was only a few inches, about ten centimetres, shorter than the older woman.

"It is good to see you," Sona said with a small smile. "Did sister find you?"

"I must have missed her," her aunt shook her head. "You know how she is. Especially today."

"You didn't have to tell her about visiting day," Sona said with a light glare. Mikasa must have remembered the date from last year after they had missed it.

"You should not have tried to hide it," her aunt glared right back, but it was softer. Sadder. "Serafall is a bit excitable, but she loves you. Do not lose precious time together because you are embarrassed."

Chastised, Sona reluctantly nodded. Her aunt smiled again and pulled a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Introduce me to your friends?" Mikasa's smile fell to her usual expression of neutrality as she looked over at the gawking students.

"You already know, Akeno," Sona started.

"It is good to see you again, Aunty," Akeno said with a curtsy.

"You look... better," her aunt nodded, looking the Queen up and down.

"Ufufufu, thank you," Akeno giggled, placing a hand on her cheek and idly rubbing it. "I had a bit of a rough wake-up call, I am afraid."

Her aunt didn't say anything, just watching the girl with a critical eye.

"This is my newest pawn, Genshiro Saji," Sona gestured to the boy. He had only been reincarnated recently, and they would have been introduced this summer during the break.

"Pleased to meet you," Saji said as he bowed formally. Sona beamed with pride. Clearly, their etiquette practice had paid off.

"Please take care of Sona," Mikasa nodded, and Sona felt the tip of her ears turn red. She hurried to continue the introductions to distract everyone.

"This is Asia Argentio, Rias' Bishop, Issei Hyoudou, her Rook, and Xenovia Quarta, her newest Knight."

Again, the Pawn didn't say anything, just looking over all three critically. Sona knew she was a woman of few words, except when around those she was close to.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am," Issei said energetically as he bowed.

Sona noticed, with some schadenfreude, that his bow was far from Saji's in neatness or fluidity.

"Please take care of me," Asia tried to bow at the same time as curtsy and ended up tripping on her own legs. "Uuueee."

Thankfully, Issei caught her and held her in place as she regained her balance. The teenager held his girlfriend close and seemed lost in each other's eyes for a second.

Xenovia, thank the Satans, saved Sona from having to stare at the happy couple.

"What did you mean when you said you made the church look bad," Xenovia asked. Her aunt evaluated the girl for a long second before answering.

"I was the one that broke up the Holy Sword Project and a few others," she eventually said. "They wanted to deal with it themselves."

"No wonder Kiba likes her," Issei said under his breath as he released Asia. Then he tilted his head as if listening to something.

Her aunt didn't say anything despite hearing the Rook's words. Sona knew she knew of the Knight's crush but hadn't given it much thought.

Her aunt didn't deal with romance and was likely waiting for Kiba's infatuation to disappear rather than addressing it.

Mikasa didn't really talk about her past. All Sona knew about her aunt's life before Serafall reincarnated her except her unique birth location and the fact she had outlived all her friends and once had a child.

"Ddraig said I should be careful," Issei reported. "He says you're dangerous."

For the slightest second, Sona saw a grimace on her aunt's face as she looked at the boy.

"You are honest," the older woman nodded. "And I am not surprised. I killed the last Red Dragon Emperor."

That got some wide eyes from the group, even Sona.

"How come I never heard of this," the student council president asked.

"It was before you were born," her aunt said with a shrug. "It wasn't a big fight. The Red Dragon Emperor is only dangerous if you give them time to ramp up. I didn't."

"Ddraig wants to know why you finally took the challenge," Issei said, looking at his hand curiously. "They had been trying to get your attention for days. He said you were mad about a tree?"

It was only because of her long familiarity with the woman that Sona noticed the tenseness of her jaw. It made the scar on her cheek more noticeable.

"Something like that," Mikasa said simply.

There was less than a year between Sona's birth and her aunt's reincarnation. A newly reincarnated devil, without magic or a Sacred Gear, had killed last generation's holder of Boosted Gear?

"How did you do it," Sona asked, curious.

It had nothing to do with her inevitable Rating Games against Rias' Peerage.

Sona was all about self-delusions today.

"Surprise," her aunt shook her head. "The fight ended quickly. Only a few people heard of it."

"Why?" Akeno asked, morbidly curious.

She, like Sona, knew that getting her aunt angry was almost impossible. Whatever the last holder of Boosted Gear had done must have been vile to actually provoke the Pawn.

"She heard about me and was rampaging around my territory in the human world," Mikasa said, keeping her words short. "She killed the last devil to control the area and didn't like someone else taking over. I didn't care and left her alone. She found where I lived and tried to anger me. She succeeded. She destroyed something she shouldn't. A grave."

Sona shared a look with Akeno. They both knew the Pawn's unique situation, and that story didn't line up. Not when they knew she had been born and died beyond the Gap.

If it was before Sona was born, it must have been right after she was reincarnated. Mikasa wouldn't have known anyone who had died in this world. Her aunt didn't get close to people easily.

Coming to care for someone in less than a year? There was no way.

But at the same time, her aunt looked so sad, so lonely, standing there and touching the scar on her cheek that neither wanted to press.

"Everyone back to class," Sona said instead. "The bell will ring in a few minutes."

She had told a little white lie to get her sister to leave. Sue her.

"I'll follow you," her aunt said, snapping out of her funk. "Serafall will find us, I'm sure."

Sona twitched and shot a look at Akeno, who nodded.

"Will you be staying for a while," the Queen asked with feigned casualness.

"No. I am visiting today and will return as Serafall's bodyguard for the conference."

Sona read between the lines.

Bodyguard meant babysitter between the two friends. There was a possibility that Gabriel would come from Heaven's faction, and Mikasa was one of the only people Serafall would listen to.

This wasn't the worst outcome, Sona thought. Koneko would have time to get Eren off campus today and again on the conference day. So long as Eren was off premises, Sona's life (read: pride) was safe.

"Ano," Asia said hesitantly in the silence that fell as they walked back to class. "Are you Japanese, Miss? Your hair is really pretty."

"...Thank you. But, no, I am not Japanese. My mother was from the East, though. I got my hair from her." Almost self-consciously, the Pawn ran a hand through her long locks. "And you can call me Mikasa... or Ackerman if you want to use Japanese standards."

"That's German, right," Saji said, eager to show off.

Sona wanted to smack him but held her control. He had no idea how much of a minefield that was for her aunt. Sometimes, she questioned whether or not his friendship with Issei was good. He definitely seemed more interested in girls, rather than his duties, when around the Rook.

"No. I'm not German, either. It's not a secret or anything," Mikasa said, and it was like listening to Eren when they first met. Her voice was dead. Empty. "I'm Eldian. The only Eldian in this world."

********

Mwahahaha *Evil Laughter Intensifies*.

There is so much and so little in this chapter. I won't say anything more and will let you all digest it. Just that I will see you all next week on the bench.

PS: ...Mwahahaha.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 14, 2024

He had been looking for his rival.

Not for a fight, of course. It was too soon.

Issei Hyoudou had potential, but he had started way behind Vali. It would be years before he would be fun enough to challenge.

More than that, Ddraig was simply not the mountain he once was. Albion's rivalry remained, but Vali had a different goal.

Still, that didn't mean the Red Dragon Emperor wasn't worth noticing. Vali had only gotten a distant look at the boy during the Kokabiel incident, so getting a better understanding of the reincarnated devil was worth some time.

Besides, Vali was bored.

Azazel was wandering around town, making a nuisance of himself while waiting for the conference, and Vali had time to kill.

So he had gone looking for his 'destined rival.'

Instead, Vali found a boy on a bench.

It took a long second to realize what he was looking at.

Who he was looking at.

Long black hair that reached past the boy's shoulders. Pale and thin, the boy's clothes hung off his frame loosely. Thick white bandages wrapped the top half of his head, covering everything from the bridge of his nose to his forehead. Those unfamiliar factors threw Vali off.

Then he saw the cane with its two stylized wings as the figure turned to face the White Dragon Emperor.

"Hello, Vali."

Vali saw red.

The half-devil seethed, launching forward and punching the boy across the jaw with his full strength.

Eren's jaw shattered. Teeth, bone and blood exploded as the enter bottom half of the boy's head was torn from his skull.

He went flying, body spinning with the force, as he was thrown from the bench to crash into a nearby tree, shattering it and the two others behind it.

Vali did not let up. He chased.

He was on the boy in an instant.

How dare he.

Vali continued to hammer into the insate body below him.

How fucking dare you be here. Here!

[Vali!]

After everything he did, he didn't get to just show up! [Vali!] He was going to tear this bastard to pieces! Today was the day's final kick his ass.

[VALI!!!]

"WHAT?" Vali growled as he continued to pummel away.

[Look at him!]

Albion's voice cut through the haze of rage, and Vali looked at the boy below him.

Vali hadn't focused on hitting one place in particular but rather on hurting the boy in any way he could.

Eren's shirt was gone, and his chest was a bloody smear along the ground, a hollow bowl in the shape of a torso. Delicate human organs had pulped and ran with bone in a disgusting slurry. His arms were bent in unnatural angles, bone peaking out through the skin.

He didn't look alive.

"What?" Vali asked in disbelief, stumbling away from the body. He was covered in blood and viscera. "That... this is fake. It has to be. Where are you, Eren!?" He shouted, looking around the woods. "Very funny. You tricked me again! Now come out here and fight ME!"

[Vali,] Albion said, his voice gentle. [That is him. It wasn't a trick.]

"It has to be," Vali insisted, even as he looked at the bloody mush that was starting to waft steam. "If it wasn't, he would have stopped me. He would have... done something! This has to be planned. A trap."

[It could be,] Albion said, but Vali heard the doubt in his voice. [Some sort of long play. The Titan is good at that.]

"Right," Vali took a deep breath, regaining his calm. He smelled the gore. "He better have a plan. Or I really will kick his ass."

Vali ignored the seed of fear in his heart.

Instead, he walked back toward the pile of blood and bone in the vague shape of a man, grabbed the head by the hair and roughly dragged it back toward the bench.

If he bumped into roots and rocks along the way, well, accidents happen.

With a careless throw, he dropped the carcass in the sunlight as he took a seat on the bench.

It was incredibly uncomfortable.

It was like the wood and nails were all positioned to make it as annoying to sit on without hurting people. Grabbing the cane from where it had fallen, Vali drew the sword.

It was a fresh blade, he could tell. Eren had changed it recently. But apart from that, it was the same as when Eren first got it. The same crossed wings painted white and blue. The same hidden trigger to eject and replace the blade.

Vali sat there, idly playing with the cane as the bloody body reknit itself into something vaguely human-shaped. Steam continued to billow, dissipating in the morning sun.

It took a while. Over an hour.

That was much too long.

The seed of fear in Vali's heart grew, but he ignored it. He was wrong. Vali had to be wrong.

It was lucky that nobody came to investigate. The devils were still in school, and the security forces had already combed this area, or they would have seen what looked like a brutal murder scene.

A finger twitched against the dirt.

"Why didn't you use Touki?" Vali demanded instantly as soon as Eren's jaw healed.

"Hello Vali," Eren rasped, voice gravely as he lay on the ground. With one trembling hand, he reached over and re-broke his other arm, lining it up so it would heal correctly.

"Answer the question." Vali's hand tightened on the cane.

"You took me by surprise." It was Eren's usual voice. Dead. Void of emotion. Even as he took his properly healed arm and realigned the other, he emoted no more than usual.

Vali closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had been right.

Satans, damn it, he didn't want to be right.

"How is that possible?"

Eren didn't answer, steam continuing to waft from his body as he healed. With a painful effort, he sat up and rose to his feet.

Vali got a good look at him then.

His long hair was matted with dirt, blood, and wood from tree fragments. Eren was still taller than the half-devil by an inch or so. He still had muscles, meaning he hadn't let himself go completely, but they were much thinner than they used to be.

His skin was also paler, like he wasn't getting enough sun. The bandages around his eyes had shifted, revealing the deep groves in his skin below them. They were half dyed with blood.

Eren adjusted the bandages to cover his upper face again as, with slow steps, he walked to the bench and fell back on it with a grunt.

Vali asked the second question, the one he hoped Eren wouldn't answer.

"How long do you have left?"

"Less than a year."

The same matter-of-fact voice.

"Damn it," Vali cursed, standing from the bench and starting to pace. "Damn it!" He punched another tree, rendering it to pulp.

He was very careful not to damage the cane.

"Clean that up before you leave. And I told you already," Eren said, and for once, there was something in his voice. It was softer. Almost kinder. "When we first met."

"That doesn't make it better!" Vali snapped. "You're the Satan-damn Titan! You don't get to die of some fucking sickness! You don't get to waste away alone! There has to be something we can do. Anything!"

"There isn't," Eren said simply. "It is not something that can be cured. As soon as I was born, I had an expiration date."

"Let me tell Azazel," Vali urged. "He'll figure something out."

"No," Eren denied simply. "He won't. What's wrong with me is not something this world can handle. And if you tell him, the plan fails. Tell him everything else, but not about me."

"Screw the plan!" Vali denied. "I will get my revenge myself. The bastard has lasted this long. He'll last long enough for me to grow stronger. But you aren't allowed to die. Not before I can beat you."

"I told you," Eren repeated, his voice almost amused. "You'll never beat me."

"I thought you were bragging," Vali laughed hollowly, collapsing on the bench. Still damn uncomfortable. "That you were stronger than me. I wanted to punch you so damn hard."

"You just did," Eren said. "Count that as your victory."

"No," Vali spat. "If I can't beat you at your best, it doesn't count." Taking a deep breath, the White Dragon Emperor recentered himself for the second time in as many hours. Eren could always get under his skin. "Why are you here, Eren?"

"This bench is where I'll die," Eren said.

Vali bit his lip, forcing himself to not snap again. Instead, he threw the cane at the boy.

It hit him in the leg and clattered to the ground.

Watching Eren paw around for it hollowed out Vali's heart, and he had to look away.

"Kuroka cried."

The cane clattered to the ground again behind him.

Those two words hurt Eren more than every punch Vali had landed, but they needed to be said.

"Is that so," Eren said softly as he bent to pick it up again. "You've been taking care of her?"

"'Taking care of her?'" Vali repeated sarcastically as he whirled and stomped back to the older boy. Grabbing Eren by his bloody shirt, Vali snarled down at him. "Listen, you blockhead. You don't get it both ways. Either you care about her, in which case you shouldn't have disappeared for OVER A YEAR!" Vali took a deep breath and said the rest quietly. "Or you don't. In which case, you can go die alone! You clearly want to. But you don't get to hand her over like a used tool. That's not how love works."

Eren didn't say anything, but he sagged in Vali's arms.

"I know," Eren eventually said, his voice mournful. "I just... she deserves better than I can give her."

"That's not for you to decide," Vali said, releasing his best friend and sitting on the bench beside him. "It's her choice who to love. And I know she would rather spend what time you have left with you than try to move on."

"I suppose I thought it would work like last time," Eren sighed. "I should have known Kuroka is different than..." Eren trailed off.

Vali knew he was thinking about the woman he used to love. The one a world away. Eren never talked about her or his former best friend, but they weighed on him.

Even after all these years.

"You could give her what she wants," Vali said, shifting the topic slightly. "Even if you die, she'll have something to remember you by."

"No." Eren denied firmly, snapping out of his funk. "I will never have children."

"Will not? Or don't want to?" Vali asked.

This was an aspect he always wanted to ask about. How much did Eren see? Despite what some might think, he wasn't perfect, and there were clear limits to his power, but there was no denying his abilities.

Where did the boundaries lie?

"Both," Eren said gravely. "I am the only one in the Path. There will never be another of Ymir's descendants in this world. And there shouldn't be. When I die, I will take this curse with me. If I did ever have children, I know what would happen. I will not allow that."

Vali wanted to ask what would happen but held off. Instead, he asked about something else.

"Why did you decide to stay here," Vali asked, running a hand to comb his hair back as he regained his usual cool. "It was a smart move. We never thought you'd hide near Shirone."

"I didn't decide," Eren shrugged. "I stopped by here to check up on her before I went looking for this bench. When I found it, I decided to stay."

"But why this bench specifically," Vali asked and then elaborated before Eren could speak. "I know you said you die here, but why is that?"

Eren remained silent for a long moment, idly rubbing his fingers along the twin wings on his cane. Eventually, he spoke.

"The Path," Eren started, then stopped and started again. "My power comes in two forms. The first is what will happen. It is me, sending my memory back to myself of what will happen. It is ironclad. Nothing I do can change. The act of sending those memories back is what determines that future. But..."

Eren struggled for words before continuing.

"My other ability connects past, present, and future. I live in all those times. It is more... open. Combined with the first ability, I see what will happen and what can happen. Both are limited to me. I cannot see anything not connected to the Path. I am the only thing connected to the Path, so I can only control my actions and might not see their consequences."

"Isn't the second ability... redundant?" Vali asked. For years, he had asked Eren about his foresight and never got an answer. Now, he couldn't help himself. "If you know exactly what will happen, why look for what can happen?"

"Because I still get to choose the future," Eren sighed, and Vali couldn't help but notice that it was almost joyful. "These two abilities were never meant to be contained within one person. And certainly not without... someone else to regulate them. It wasn't until I was reborn in this world that I could wield the second as I wished. Usually, it is limited to one bloodline that I am not a part of. I choose which future to walk and live in and then send it back to myself so I will make the same choices. A loop of my choosing. A way to determine the future of my own choice."

"So when you say there is no cure?" Vali felt despair creep up his heart.

"There isn't," Eren nodded. "No matter what future I choose, I always die. The Path ends. There is no saving me."

Vali bit his lip and turned back to the original topic.

"So coming to this bench to die is the best future?"

"It is."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You... don't know?" Vali asked in disbelief. "You just said you see the future. Twice over!"

"I decide what I see," Eren sighed. "I have to send the memories back. If I don't, I don't know. The other part, the... Coordinate isn't optional. I always live it. Except when I am on this bench."

Vali wasn't the most accomplished devil regarding magic or enchantment. Kuroka, Le Fey, and Azazel were much better. Still, even he should have been able to feel something from the bench if it was able to prevent Eren from using his powers.

He didn't feel anything.

It was just a bench. An uncomfortable bench, but just a bench.

Instead, Vali tried to puzzle out what Eren meant when he said he wasn't seeing the 'set in stone' future.

"So, by hiding your memories from yourself, you are ensuring that future happens?" Vali guessed, and Eren nodded. "How do you know it's the best one?"

"I don't. I have to trust that my future self made the best choice. And..." Eren paused, debating whether to tell Vali something, then sighed. "In that future, I die alone. But... I am smiling."

Vali stared.

He had known Eren Yeager for almost a decade. Had seen him do things that should have been impossible. Yet, not once had Eren Yeager ever smiled.

"I am chasing that smile," Eren admitted as if confessing a sin. "Why do I look like that? I have asked myself that question for almost thirteen years. And I still don't know. I can't know. Because if I do, it will never happen. I don't know what half my actions will accomplish, but I do them anyway. All for that future. I hurt you, I hurt Kuroka, and I will hurt others just because I am trusting that future and that smile. I have to trust it. It's the only way I can move forward."

Vali felt... he didn't know what he felt.

Angry? He had every right to be angry. One of his best friends had disappeared for a year, and he didn't know why.

Should he be hurt? Was all their time together worth nothing compared to a future Eren couldn't even see?

Sympathy? There was no doubt Eren had gone through and been forced to do terrible things. He was going to die young. Eren deserved happiness.

In the end, Vali was worn down. This emotional roller coaster was not what he expected when he decided to tour Kuoh. He usually kept his emotions tightly lidded, portraying a calm, confident exterior. He wasn't cut out for these sorts of emotions.

Vali wanted to fight something.

Having regained his calm, Vali leaned back on the bench, arms spread casually as he stared at the sky.

"If I ask you to transform, will you? I could really use a good spar."

"I can't," Eren sighed. "I only have two shifts left. Each time I shift, my time shortens. Sorry."

"Damn it," Vali cursed again, but there was no heat to it. "And asking you to never shift again won't work. You're on that 'path' of yours."

"I need to," Eren nodded sadly. "If I don't, I can't keep my word to you, Kuroka, or any others. And yes, that is part of the future I want. If the plan fails... Not all the futures I see are good ones."

Vali realized then. The price Eren paid to choose his own future. He had to see what could be.

If Vali could see anything and everything that could happen to himself, would he be able to handle it?

If Vali could see the future where he failed, where he died, where those he loved had atrocity after atrocity inflicted on them, could he remain sane?

If he was always aware of how close he was to failure, and its price, could he do anything?

The memories of his mother already tore at Vali. Seeing that every day, every second, would he be able to walk forward?

[You've changed, Titan.] Albion said, manifesting the white wings below Vali's clothes to talk with the boy.

"In what way?" Eren asked with a tilt of his head.

[You are softer.] Albion answered, but it didn't sound like an insult. [When we met, you were like a dog on a leash. Rabid, wanting to tear the world apart. But directed. The rage I felt isn't gone. But it is not everything anymore. Even if you do not have the smile you want, you are more emotive than you ever were before you left. A year ago, you would not have told us all this.]

"It is the bench," Eren nodded. "While I sit on it, part of my power is limited. I can't see anything. Not the past or the future. While I sit on the bench, I am blind."

"That's how I surprised you," Vali grinned. "Not going to lie, that felt good. You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"I think I do," Eren said dryly.

[You are like Ddraig and I.] Albion rumbled. [It is only when we were confined within our prison that we were able to let the haze of rage dissipate. It will never leave us, but we now see a world we were blind to.]

"I am not..." Eren paused as if Albion's words surprised him more than Vali's attack. "You are right. I have changed. Thank you, Albion. You just answered one of my questions about my Path."

[Just remember your promise.]

Vali felt his Sacred Gear retract, leaving him alone with Eren again.

They sat there in companionable silence for a long while.

"You will stay here?" Vali eventually asked.

"Until it is time," Eren nodded. "I still have a meeting to wait for."

"I'm going to tell Kuroka." Vali watched Eren's face for any sign of disagreement. If Eren tried to stop him, he would punch him again. The other boy simply nodded. "That won't mess up your 'path'?" Vali asked sarcastically.

He still wasn't over the fact that Eren had left them for over a year.

"I honestly don't know," Eren said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I can't see anything while on the bench. I don't know if I will do something to destroy my future myself, or if meeting you here already did that. But I don't think trying to stop you telling her will ruin anything."

"Why not? You won't let me go to Azazel."

"Because the leaders of the three factions can't know about my abilities. That would ruin the plan and accomplish nothing," Eren said softly. "But if you truly did that, I wouldn't stop you. I simply offer a choice. I will never fight for a future where my friends aren't as free as I am."

"Even if it will ruin your plan?"

"If the only way for you to be free is to stand against me? So be it."

Vali did end up cleaning his mess with a spell before he left. It was easy for the Lucifer descendent. The little park looked as pristine as he found it.

He also gave Eren one last punch for good measure.

Then he left.

He'd see Eren again when it was time.

Until then, he had no desire to watch the man he considered a big brother waste away on the bench.

********

Hoo boy. I think the last chapter was the single most divisive thing I've ever written. I sure got a lot of responses. I will stick with it, though. Unlike other writers, I only publish something once I know how it will end. I appreciate feedback, advice, and even ideas, but by the time a story is released, I generally do not change it based on fan response. That way, it maintains cohesion.

I am not surprised by the response. Mikasa is an increadibly divisive character, perhaps even more than Eren. I won't give my thoughts one way or the other here, but I will say: One, I don't plan to drag things on; two, just as Eren is post-Rumbling, so is Mikasa from after the ending. As I mentioned in the first chapter, this story follows canon as closely as possible. Including the parts some people will not like. That is the only way it can be the continuation and closure I want from it.

About this chapter, I admit to leaning a lot more about later volumes of Vali's character. He simply doesn't get much characterization in the early seasons/light novels. Also, the explanation of the Attack Titan and Founding Titan is incomplete; it is just what Eren wanted to tell Vali. More will be explained later.

Though the ability to see 'possibilities' is canon. That's how Eren saw what the cabin he'd share with Mikasa if they ran away together. The Attack Titan works on memories, so it is what 'Will Happen,' because they've already happened, there is no escaping it. The Founding Titan sees what 'Is Happening and Has Happened,' not the future. Only when they are combined (in Ymir and Eren) do you get the omniscience and timeless view that trapped Eren. Otherwise, all of the Founder's hosts would have been able to see the future of the Rumbling.

Anyway, I hope this has answered a few questions (and given a few more) and I will see you next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 16, 2024

It was pity that made Michael stop in front of the bench.

His guards had swept Kuoh thoroughly and had reported no anomalies of concern in the lead-up to the Peace Conference. Except, that is, for the human boy sitting on the bench well within the devils' wards around the school.

After initial scans, even going so far as to approach, they had determined him to be nothing more than a human. One without any magic or Sacred Gear. Thanks to their constant exposure to Heaven's system, angels were much better at sensing such things.

Despite determining the boy to be of little to no importance, Michael's guards still dutifully reported the oddity to the Seraph.

It was Irina Shidou, one of the church agents and a participant in the Kokabiel incident, who had accurately guessed who it was.

Eren Yeager. The Child of Evil. A former child soldier and mercenary living out his last days in Kuoh.

A human that was friends with the devil scions but remained largely unaware of the supernatural world, according to Irina, who had spoken to the Red Dragon Emperor on the subject.

Apparently, the exorcist had been concerned for her former partner, Xenovia, and inquired about the subject with her childhood friend.

Hearing that the boy had managed to injure Griselda, even if thanks to trickery, was interesting. But the fact that he lacked anything that would make him a threat had reassured Michael's security that they had made the correct call to leave the human alone.

Not so for the leader of Heaven himself.

Michael had memorized every word his Father had ever spoken to him and never forgot the particular importance God had placed on how wonderous and terrible humanity's potential could be. He was to never overlook them.

So he asked more questions.

And hadn't liked the answers.

Sadness overwhelmed the Seraph.

Sadness at the world that would allow a child so young to face the horrors of war. Sadness at the unfairness of it all that even after going through so much, the boy was still denied a long, happy life.

It was a familiar sadness.

A deep, all-consuming melancholy at the daily tragedies of a world without God.

And then the regret came.

Regret because there was nothing Michael could do. If even Twilight Healing, one of the greatest of his Father's works, failed to save the boy, it would take a miracle to cure Eren Yeager.

And miracles from Heaven were in short supply.

They had been waiting on one themselves for so long.

So, moved by pity, Michael met the boy on the bench.

"Do you mind if I take a seat," the Seraph asked the Devil.

"You're free to do what you want," the Devil answered with a shrug.

"Thank you." Michael sat down, his overly elaborate robes of office dragging along the dirt as he took his seat, yet they remained pristine white.

He let out a breath of air as he leaned back, gazing towards the sky. Unlike the boy beside him, Michael could see it, bright blue taking on a darker hue as the sunset.

They sat in silence, taking their rest as they each watched a world the other couldn't see.

It was Michael who spoke first.

"What brings you here, young man?"

"Waiting."

"For what?"

"A meeting I was promised."

"With whom?"

"I'll know when I meet them."

The pair lapsed back into silence.

Michael let it stretch longer this time. He knew he was under observation by both his guards and the other factions, but he did not mind. He could not remember the last time he took a break, even for as short a time as this.

It was the most relaxed he had been in centuries.

Eventually, Michael knew he had to leave the bench, to return to a world without God, so he got around to the reason for his visit.

"Are you a religious man, my friend?"

"No."

"Through lack of opportunity or lack of belief."

"Yes."

Michael's smile, soft and comforting, took on a wry note.

"Even in your... condition?" Michael asked gently. "If you will pardon a bit of rudeness, you do not look well."

"If I changed who I was just because I was about to die, it wouldn't be out of faith," Eren said simply, not bothered by the allusion to his sickly appearance. "It would be cowardice."

"It is not cowardly to seek salvation," the Seraph chided gently. "There is nothing wrong with entrusting your soul to a greater power. In praying for an afterlife. A better life."

"There is," Eren said, this time with a note of steel in his dull voice. "It makes you cattle. When you give up your freedom for safety, you deserve neither."

"I take it you don't believe in God and the afterlife, then?" Michael asked, giving up the pretext of subtlety. Eren Yeager seemed to be the type to appreciate blunt honesty.

"Whether they exist or not does not matter."

"Why do you say that?"

"If God exists, she either allows the world to be like this, makes the world like this, or is helpless to change the world. Either way, believing in her or not does not change whether she is real or her effect on me and the world."

"Her? You believe God to be a woman?"

Eren didn't answer, and seeing as he wasn't going to be able to continue that train of conversation, Michael steered it back on course.

"What of the afterlife?" The Seraph asked curiously. "Why does its existence not matter?"

"Because if it doesn't exist, I will cease to exist as well when I die," Eren said simply, but there was something in his emotionless voice, some note that Michael picked up on thanks to his millennia of life.

"And if it does?"

"Then I am going to hell, and nothing I say or do will change that."

The certainty in the boy's words broke Michael's heart.

The world was a cruel place. A terrible place. A place where a child was forced to commit heinous acts just to survive.

That was why he was here. Why the Seraph was taking a few minutes out of his day to talk to a dying boy.

Michael would forever disappoint his Father if he failed to extend the one hand he could offer.

"That is not true," Michael said with certainty. "No matter your actions, guilt, or crimes, it is never too late to find salvation. I am a priest, of a sort. I can take your confession. If you dedicate yourself to repentance and atonement, I am certain you can find a better place in the next life."

Michael had seen the worst sinners weep in repentance and live out their days as saints. He had seen monsters turn into heroes.

The Seraph had seen the worst of humanity turn into its best.

Only those who knew the dark could truly appreciate the light.

Michael did not know the extent of Eren Yeager's sins. Such an ability was beyond even him, and a single file and testimony from his church exorcists was not enough information to render judgment.

Only when the boy stood before the Pearly Gates would he be judged by his Father's system.

Until then, Michael could not know for sure if someone was destined for paradise or damnation.

What Michael did know was that the Gates of Heaven would always be open.

Michael was not God.

Michael's name meant 'Like God,' not God himself. He was a poor substitute.

But on one point, he was absolutely sure.

The one point of the System his Father had put in place that Michael had unwavering confidence in. That he had maintained perfectly despite every other failure of his.

Because of his ineptitude, Michael might allow flaws in the Divine system. The likes of the Holy Sword Project could be laid at his feet for his inability to match God.

Asia Argento had been excommunicated from the church because of his weakness. Xenovia Quarta had been exiled because news of God's death could not be allowed to spread lest chaos and fear reign.

But, until either had become devils, they had never been beyond Heaven's blessing, the one reward they could give that was wholly theirs.

There was only one place where Michael's hubris allowed him to acknowledge that Michael might, in some minuscule way, compare to his deceased Father.

For the truly faithful, those who did good, who regretted their sins and strove for salvation, the Pearly Gates would always be open.

No man was without sin.

It was those who repented, who strove to be better, that walked Heaven's Halls.

That was why Michael was meeting with Eren.

Not to heal him, for he could not.

Not to convert him, for he should not.

But to save him, in the only way he could.

If Eren took the chance the highest Seraph was giving him, if he confessed his sins and spent his remaining time on earth dedicated to others, to balance out the bad with the good, then he too might walk those golden halls one day.

Sins are never forgotten.

But they can be forgiven.

It was up to the dying boy to make the first step.

All Michael could do was extend a hand.

But Eren Yeager, the Child of Evil, could not see that hand.

He was blind to everything but the Path he chose to walk.

For good or ill.

"My confession?" The dying boy asked a note of disbelief in his placid voice. "What a useless thing. Will my confession bring the dead back? Will it give the living the vengeance they want? Will it change what I have done?"

"Nothing will change the past," Michael said sombrely, knowing rejection was the most likely outcome when he came here.

But he had to try.

He owed it to his Father. To his brother and sisters. To the beliefs they held within their hearts. To humanity.

He owed it to the dead. The countless mountain of corpses he and his comrades had tread across to reach this day.

He owed it to those faces who looked to Heaven and found not God but a pale imitation.

He owed them all to always have this one hand extended.

Peace was imminent. Why could salvation not be as well?

"Your sins are your own. All we can do is change the future. It is there that we might balance the scales away from evil."

"There are not scales in heaven or hell large enough to weigh the evil I have done."

Michael felt his gentle smile twist into one of regret and pain.

He was not diminishing what the boy had gone through. Michael could see it in the tenseness of the boy's body when he arrived. He could hear it in the exhaustion in the boy's voice. He could feel it in the aura of pain, anger and guilt that seemed to radiate from the dying boy as they talked.

Eren Yeager was not naive, ignorant, or even childish.

But he was young.

It was the privilege of the young to believe they were unique and that their circumstance had never happened before and would never happen again.

It was the privilege of the old to know that the world did not work like that.

And Michael was very, very old.

The blood on Eren's hands could not compare to the ocean that dripped from Michael's spear.

"Even were that the case," Michael allowed, well knowing that a young man's pride was fragile. "Would it not be better to make the attempt? To do enough good to outweigh the bad? To repent and-"

"Repent?"

Eren cut off the greatest angel with clear anger in his voice.

The first clear display of emotion the Seraph had heard from the boy.

Michael actually had to waive his guards down when they made to say something. They wouldn't have hurt the boy, but they would have made their displeasure at his rude interruption known.

"I repent nothing. I regret. I endlessly regret it. But I shall never repent. To repent is to stop moving forward. To try and undo the choices I made. To trample on the hearts they dedicated. I will burn in hell for all eternity before I repent for even one footstep of mine. Because to try and repent is to spit on all the dead I trampled on."

Ah.

Michael understood now.

He had made a mistake.

Despite his best efforts and despite the warnings of his Father so long ago about humanity, Michael had underestimated Eren Yeager.

"Confess? Repent? It's shit like this why I can't stand you religious types. You can't take responsibility for your own actions. Always trusting others to do it for you."

Eren Yeager was not some traumatized child soldier forced to confront the horrors of the world at a too-young age. He was not a young man dying so far before his time that he lamented the unfairness of the world.

Nor was he a child of pure evil. He was not a monster unrepentant of his actions or the atrocities he committed.

Eren Yeager was not a boy who wished for salvation.

"If I do evil, it is because I choose to. If I do good, it is because I want to. Not because of some arbitrary rules from old fuc-"

Michael's pity overwhelmed his propriety, and it was his turn to interrupt the boy's angry tirade to ask the question.

"Would you do it again?"

Eren's mouth clicked shut, teeth clenching.

"Knowing the sins you'd commit, the deaths at your hands and the evil you'd inflict? Would you do it again?"

"Yes." The answer was bit out through clenched teeth as his fists curled on his cane hard enough to creak the wood. "Over and over and over and over again. A million times over. Even if I could change the past, I wouldn't. I would do it all again."

"Then you have my apologies." Michael stood from the bench and bowed to the human. "I interrupted your day with pointless preaching. I hope you will forgive me."

For a long second, Eren seemed at a loss for words. The anger was still there, but it was confused, as if he didn't know how to direct it. Michael maintained his bow, even as his guards shifted in the air until the boy spoke.

"It's not worth apologizing for," Eren sagged against the bench as the anger left him, and the strength went with it. "I am more... emotional these days than I should be."

Michael stood from his bow with his usual gentle smile.

He noted, wryly, that Eren had never said he forgave him or that the boy was sorry for his anger.

"Thank you for entertaining my questions," the Seraph said instead of pointing it out. "It has been nice to relax in comfort for a few minutes. I hope you find peace."

Michael's guards started to signal him as Eren answered.

"Peace always comes after war."

"Well said," Sirzechs Lucifer responded with a smile as he entered the clearing with the bench.

He, too, was in ceremonial robes, and Michael saw his companions tense as the Crimson Satan approached.

Sirzechs was only accompanied by his wife and Queen rather than the contingent of guards Michael's siblings had foisted on him. Grayfia Lucifuge, dressed as a maid as always, looked over the blind boy with a critical eye, her face as cold as her magic.

Michael gestured for his hidden compatriots to calm themselves. They could do nothing to the Super-Devil and would only serve to slow his Queen down.

Besides, they were here for peace.

Eren Yeager had no idea he was currently in a clearing with the replacements for Lucifer and God.

"Who are you?" Eren asked bluntly.

"Sirzechs," Lucifer, far from being offended by the tone, laughed lightly as he greeted the dying boy. "Rias' brother, in case she's mentioned me."

"She hasn't."

It was below a Seraph to take pleasure in suffering, but lying was also a sin, so Michael admitted, to himself, if no one else, that seeing the leader of the devils wilt in despair was genuinely amusing.

"Ria-tan is just shy. She's proud of her big brother. She is. She'll tell yo-" the former Gremory said with a slightly pained expression as his wife subtly pinched him. "Anyway, this is my wife, Grayfia. You must be Eren Yeager. Rias has told me so much about you."

"Greeting, Mr. Yeager," the second strongest female devil executed a perfect curtsy even if the boy couldn't see her. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"My bench is very popular today," Eren said sarcastically as his hands tensed around his cane. "Why are you here, brother and sister of Rias?"

"As much as I would love to talk to you about my dear Ria-tan and what she's been up to," Sirzechs laughed again despite Eren's evident unease. "I am actually here for your companion. I hope you don't mind if I steal him away? We have business to attend to."

Michael again had to signal his guards not to do anything stupid at the devil's provocative words.

Must Sirzechs rile them up so much.

"Go ahead," Eren grunted. "I don't care."

"Thank you," Sirzechs said with his easy smile. "I hope you don't mind if I return some other day? To talk? I am always happy to get to know Rias' friends."

"I won't stop you."

"Until then."

Lucifer gave Michael a wave as Grayfia, the stickler for propriety, gave another curtsy that the blind boy couldn't see.

The Seraph also bid his farewells to the dying boy.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Eren Yeager," Michael said formally. "Walk with the Lord's blessing."

Eren grunted in dismissal, tapping his cane on the ground rhythmically as his guests and their hidden entourage left him.

As soon as they left, they saw a small girl rush towards the clearing they had just left.

Upon seeing the pair, she froze.

"Don't mind us, Koneko-chan," Sirzechs waived the young girl by with a smile. "We were just taking a walk together before the meeting."

The young devil stared at the pair with wide, golden eyes.

Michael nodded in greeting.

She bowed as they walked by, much to Grayfia's silent pride. As soon as they were out of eyesight, Koneko resumed her run.

They heard her speedy footsteps, no matter how quiet she tried to be. They were some of the strongest beings on the planet.

Both men shared a smile.

As they were leaving the small forest park towards the school, the other students having long gone for the day, Sirzechs finally spoke up.

"I am surprised," the devil said lightly. "As I understand it, young Eren, back there is a figure of contention within your faction. I heard he's destroyed a few churches and even almost lamed one of your more experienced exorcists."

"She recovered without issue," Michael answered just as lightly. He knew how the game was played. "And we always offer salvation to those who would seek it. So long as he does not become a devil, our hands will always be extended."

Lucifer laughed as if Michael had told a joke.

They might be walking to a peace conference, but immortal beings like them had long memories. Just because they were doing what was best for their people and the world did not mean they forgot the friends and family they had lost at the other's hands.

Peace always came after war.

And war always followed peace.

Such was the nature of the world.

"If Eren ends up in heaven," Sirzechs said, still chuckling. "Rias will never let me hear the end of it. The Child of Evil? An Angel? There is some delicious irony there."

Michael didn't comment on the devil's blase handling of secrets. Every one of his guards was trustworthy. They knew that this peace conference was just a pretext. The actual negotiations had been going on behind the scenes for decades, and the terms had already been laid out.

One of the most significant benefits the angels would gain was a system similar to the Evil Piece system. A way to replenish their race that had been lost with his Father's death.

It was also a key benefit for the fallen. More angels meant more that might fall, though that part went unsaid.

The Brave Saint system was ready after long years of work from both Beelzebub and Azazel.

The leaders of the three factions had just been waiting for an excuse, a show they could put on for the others in their factions and the world.

Kokabiel had been that excuse, and this conference was that show.

"Eren Yeager will never be an angel."

"Oh? Why not?"

"Because it would be cruel," Michael answered, pity leaking into his voice. "Salvation only comes to those who search for it. And that boy never will. He does not regret his sins, so he cannot repent. He only regrets their necessity. He will never give them up. Would he become an angel, his sins would drag him down. He would fall instantly."

"I suppose that makes him the perfect devil, then," Sirzechs said lightly. "Rias will be happy."

"That would be crueller still," Michael shook his head. "If he could repent, he might take such a deal. Just as Eren cannot repent, so too can he not forgive himself. He is already in hell. Angel, fallen, or devil, it does not matter. Unless he learns to live again, death will be his only rest."

For a long moment, the group was quiet. Eventually, the Crimson Satan said one word.

"Good."

It was not a kind sentiment, and Michael gave his companion a challenging look.

Sirzechs, for all his faults, was not a cruel devil.

He would not wish a child suffering if it did not serve his interests.

But his interests were many and varied.

"Rias needs to learn to lose," the devil said. "Better it be someone she has only known for a short time and a death she can prepare for. Even if we have peace, a devil's life is never peaceful."

Michael's expression soured slightly.

They might be signing a peace treaty today, but he could never allow himself to forget just what kind of creatures devils were.

"By the way," Sirzechs continued, a grin forming on his face. "Please do not mention Eren in front of Serafall."

"Why not?"

Michael hadn't actually planned on doing such, considering the matter with the blind boy done. He was also well aware of the Leviathan's... mercurial moods.

Especially with regards to the Seraphs.

"Her sister is sweet on the boy," Sirzechs smiled mischievously. "I don't know about you, but I don't want Leviathan going on a rampage during a peace conference out of jealousy."

"Ah," Michael blinked in surprise. "I see. Young love? And between the Sitri Heiress and a human? Is this the 'bad boy' appeal I hear so much about? I confess I do not understand such matters."

"Take a tragic backstory, a touch of danger, and wrap it all in a mystery? Human or devil, teenage girls lap that up," Sirzechs was nodding sagely. "How do you think I got- ow ow ow, Grayfia!"

Out of angelic kindness, Michael pretended not to notice the Crimson Devil's plight as his wife mercilessly pinched him.

It would be cruel to point out that the Queen had broken the etiquette she valued so highly.

Such mercy was expected of a Seraph such as him.

Peace was on the horizon, he had taken his first rest in centuries, and Michael saw Sirzechs Lucifer get tormented by his wife.

For the first time in a very long time, the mantle on Michael's back, the weight on his wings, felt just a little lighter.

With such matters on his mind, Michael spent only a few moments of quiet prayer. He prayed that salvation would come for the boy on the bench.

********

It's never really gone into in DxD, because almost everything we get is from Issei's perspective, but it is hinted that all three faction leaders have been in contact for a long time before the actual peace conference. And the Brave Saint system comes about after only a month or so.

In my mind, just like most negotiations happen away from the actual deal table, it is pretty likely that the Peace Conference only happened after a deal had been finalized. That would also explain how easily it comes about in the books/show. Rather than three factions deciding to have peace after millennia of war because of a ten-minute talk, much more is happening behind the scenes. Again, this isn't explicitly canon, but it lines up with it and doesn't contradict it.

My biggest issue with this chapter was more on how to portray Michael. The Heaven faction is the most underrepresented in all of DxD. I also never want to bash religions (despite Eren's views), but they are represented in a fairly military way in DxD, so I tried to strike a balance here. Sirzechs is canonically shown to be manipulative and will do anything to better Rias, so I think I got him down reasonably well.

Next week, we will wrap up the peace conference. Until then, I will be waiting on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 21, 2024

It was an important meeting.

World-changing, even.

The three biblical factions were ceasing their never-ending war and tense cease-fire in favour of an official declaration of peace.

Koneko knew that it was very important and knew that the world of tomorrow would be different than the one of today, no matter what happened.

That didn't change the fact that she was tired.

Not only was it a school night, but she hadn't been sleeping well recently. The nightmares had been worse ever since the Kokabiel incident.

Usually, she could supplement her lack of sleep with naps with Eren, but Koneko had been busy lately, between regular duties, helping Gya-kun, and the additional training they had all taken after the Excaliber disaster.

It was seriously cutting into her nap time.

The leaders of the factions had been talking a while and, after calling upon Buchou and Kachou for their testimony, had spoken to the pervert for a bit before deciding that they all wanted peace.

It was all Koneko could do not to yawn.

Of course, they wanted peace.

They wouldn't be here if they didn't want peace.

But from there, things got even duller, with the conversation shifting to even more boring topics. Trade deals, personnel movements, what the Grigori were doing with Gear holders, yadda yadda.

This chair was so damn annoying. Would it have been too hard to ensure the audience had proper seating instead of using the standard chairs Kuoh used for students? Koneko had to spend the entire day in these things, and they were terrible for naps.

She would know. She tried.

Koneko wished she was on the bench with Eren.

The damned thing was uncomfortable as hell, but Eren let her lay her head on his lap when they napped.

He had already gone home for the night. She had made sure of it. It was for the best. Koneko had almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Lord Lucifer and Lord Michael walking through the park, but they had left the human alone, so she had hurried to get him gone before someone started asking questions.

Right now, the entire grounds were crawling with security forces. No need for him to draw attention.

Still... Koneko was tired.

It shouldn't matter if she closed her eyes for a moment, right?

Just a little bit. A few seconds. Nobody would even notice.

Even Nee-san and Obaa-san, usually so attentive, were more focused on the table full of leaders with their Kings.

Just a minute. Or two. Nobody would know.

...

Koneko would swear that she only closed her eyes for a second, a brief moment, before she was brutally shaken from her doze by Akeno.

"Koneko! Koneko!" Her Queen said urgently, shaking the Rook awake.

"...Huh?" Koneko murmured blearily, looking around the room with uncomprehending eyes.

It was a mess.

All the leaders had left the table they had been sitting around and were staring outside to Kuoh's grounds through a hole in the wall that Koneko would swear wasn't there before.

Magic of various types flew through the air beyond them, and Koneko's sensitive ears picked up screams, and she could smell blood in the air.

Yuuto and Asia were also blinking in surprise from the seats beside her, as were Sona, her Peerage, and the other attendants, while Akeno leaned over them.

Notable were the absences.

Buchou and the pervert were gone, as were Obaa-san, the White Dragon Emperor and Azazel.

"Are you alright?" Akeno asked, looking Koneko, Yuuto, and Asia over in turn as if expecting them to be injured.

"What is going on?" Yuuto asked, standing from his seat and summoning his Balance Breaker to his hands as he readied himself for combat.

"The conference was attacked," Akeno said simply. "They managed to get a hold of Gasper and did something to him that made his Gear run wild. You've been trapped for a while."

"...Gya-kun?" Koneko asked, slipping her gloves on and readying herself for a fight.

"I don't know," Akeno said worriedly. "Lady Ackerman took Rias and Issei to try to get him from them, but we haven't heard back."

"Mi-chan's got them," Serafall Levithan said proudly, puffing out her chest. Koneko wasn't jealous. There was a crisis going on. Being jealous would be stupid and childish. "Look! Here they come."

Sure enough, all the leaders stepped away from the hole in the wall to allow Mikasa to land in their midst. She had Gya-kun slung over one shoulder and Rias in her other hand.

While the Gremory Peerage felt relief at the sight, Mikasa Ackerman's following words chilled the room.

"The White Dragon Emperor has betrayed us," she declared, even as new swords appeared in her hands from nowhere. "The Red Dragon Emperor is delaying him."

With no more words, the Pawn disappeared back out of the hole in the wall faster than Koneko could track.

"Well," Sirzech Lucifer said wryly. "Now that we don't have to worry about keeping the barrier up, shall we deal with our uninvited guests?"

"I am so going to pew-pew Katerea so hard," Serafall said as she gave a little twirl and shot off sparkles into the distance. "How dare she insult Magical Girls!"

"I believe Lord Azazel has that matter in hand," Nee-san told the Satan. "Might you please instead deal with the insects?"

"Mou~" the strongest woman in the Underworld pouted. "I don't want to be on mook duty! Miracle Girl Levi-tan is the star!"

"Sister, please?" Sona asked, her voice a touch lower than usual. "I don't want my subjects getting hurt or my school getting destroyed."

"Gah!" Serafall stumbled back, dramatically grasping her heart. "So-tan's heartfelt plea! Levi-tan's one weakness!"

"Looks like you have to do it now," Sirzech teased. "You don't want to see So-tan cry, do you?"

"NO!" Serafall cried, standing tall and posing for cameras that weren't there with her wand raised high. "Levi-tan will never allow So-tan to cry! Begone evil-doers! The power of cuteness compels you! So-tan Vult!"

Even as the two Satans and the Seraph left, it was incredibly clear that they were not worried in the least and considered this attack more of a curiosity than a genuine threat.

Now that the hostage had been secured, they were more interested in getting information than defending themselves.

Of course, Koneko couldn't appreciate all this.

She was too busy being squished in an incredibly tight hug by Rias.

Which wouldn't be so bad if the redhead wasn't trying to hug her Rook, Bishop and both Knights at once.

"I was so worried," Rias said, her arms struggling to hold them all.

"Uh," Asia squeaked. "I don't understand what is happening. Where's Issei?"

"He's fighting Vali," Rias said, finally letting them go.

"We should go help," Yuuto said, resuming his sword after he had dismissed it before Rias could impale herself on it in her effort to hug them.

Koneko nodded, smashing one fist into another for emphasis.

"There is nothing to fear," Grayfia, who had remained behind when the leaders left, told the group. She closed up the hole behind them with a thick wall of ice. "Mikasa will have no trouble. Please remain here, and I will protect you."

"But-" Rias made to say something, but the maid interrupted her.

"Your Rook will be fine," Grayfia reassured. "His specialty is defence. A unique path for a Red Dragon Emperor that ensures even if he cannot beat his destined rival for the moment, he will last until Mikasa finishes him off. Trust her and trust Lord Lucifer."

Rias still looked mulish, but Sona grabbed her attention when the Sitri heiress approached after checking over her Peerage.

"What about..." Sona never finished the sentence, but her worried gaze toward the direction of the park conveyed the topic of her concern.

"Don't worry," Akeno was the one to answer instead of their King, shooting a look at Koneko. "I made sure he left before the conference. He's at home and safe."

Sona let out a sigh of relief.

Xenovia, on the other hand, was not ready to sit back and let others fight for her.

"We are not helpless. Let us fight."

Koneko wanted to stop the new Knight.

Clearly, she didn't know Grayfia Lucifuge was voted number one on the list of 'Devils you don't want to piss off' for seventeen years running.

"You will only get in the way," the maid said impassively.

"Let us at least get Issei," Rias joined her newest Peerage member. "We'll come right back."

"No." Grayfia's face might as well have been carved from her own ice magic. "The enemy has already demonstrated a willingness to use hostages. We let you go last time because of the unique circumstances, but not again. It is too risky."

Then, the facade cracked for a fraction of an instant, and the woman peeked through the veneer as she spoke in a softer tone.

"Your brother will make sure nothing happens to him, I promise."

As if God wasn't dead and had been waiting for that exact moment, the ice wall shattered, and a figure clad in draconic red armour passed beside the maid to smash into the far wall.

""ISSEI!"" Multiple voices cried out in worry.

Koneko recognized Rias' voice, of course, but she was surprised to notice that brown-haired girl had also yelled. Had she always been there? What was her name again? Iri- something or other. She had come with the church, right?

It wasn't Koneko's fault. It was Iri...na? That sounded right. It was Irina's fault. Why was she so forgetable?

"I am OK!" Issei said, giving the room a thumbs up as he stood from the wreckage.

"Nyayayayaya."

Koneko froze, eyes dilating in fear as her breath and heartbeat picked up.

No.

No, she couldn't be here. Not her. Not now.

"Not bad, boyo," Kuroka laughed as she sauntered through the hole in the ice. She moved with feline grace, a sensual flow that spoke of absolute confidence despite the battlefield and the enemies that faced her. "Vali'll have fun with you."

"Black Cat Kuroka," Grayfia intoned gravely, the air around her misting as her magic seeped into it. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting Shironya~" the Stray devil admitted casually, dismissing the Strongest Queen as her eyes found Koneko. "There you are."

Suddenly, Koneko was in her sister's arms again.

The familiar scent, the nostalgic warmth, and the heartbeat she knew as well as her own.

It was like Koneko's worst nightmare had come to life.

"Let her go!" Rias shouted in fear and anger.

Dozens of small yet incredibly dense spheres of destruction converged on the feline woman from behind, her power trying to blast the Stray away from her Rook without hurting Koneko.

Six black tails batted them away like a cat with balls of yarn.

That shouldn't be possible. At her sister's age, she should only have two, maybe three tails.

"RIAS!" Grayfia shouted in fear as ice covered the room, separating the kimono-clad woman from the devil heiress' and their Peerage.

Only because of the hostage did the maid keep her magic defensive instead of trying to attack the threat.

Koneko was too busy having a panic attack to notice any of this.

Her sister.

Her insane, dangerous, and insanely dangerous sister was here.

Here with her new family, here attacking the peace conference.

She was here for Koneko.

In her panic, Koneko instinctively tried to free herself from the prison she found herself confined to.

She squirmed and wiggled, struggling with all her might to get even an inch of space to attack, defend, flee, or anything. She needed to get away get away get away awayawayaway.

Kuroka did not allow her an inch.

"I missed you, Shirone," the Black Cat rumbled affectionately, rubbing her face against Koneko's cheeks and not giving the younger girl the slightest possibility of escape.

It was a familiar action, one the older sister had done hundreds of times before.

Koneko felt nauseous.

"...go."

"Nya?" Kuroka asked, stopping her nuzzling to look at her younger sister.

"LET ME GO!" Koneko shouted in her sister's face, redoubling her effort for even an inch of freedom.

"Do as she says," Grayfia ordered. She had wrapped herself, Kuroka, and Koneko in a box of ice meters thick, trapping them together. Rias and her Peerage tried to smash their way in, desperate to reach the Rook, but the maid did not allow it. "Release her and surrender. You will be detained. If you do, I will guarantee your survival."

"You're annoying," Kuroka grumbled, looking less scared and more put out as she glared at the devil. "Don't interfere, nyaa~."

Even as Koneko tried to free herself from her sister's grasp, two more versions of the Black Cat appeared in the ice box and launched themselves at the Strongest Queen.

The ice around them pelted the clones at speeds Koneko couldn't follow, but the other Kurokas surrounded themselves with balls of black flame, laughing lightly as they burned their way closer to the maid despite all the ice.

Kasha. Flames that served to guide the dead. A powerful ability of the nekomata.

The Kuroka Koneko remembered had never been able to summon them.

But then again, the Kuroka Koneko remembered couldn't make solid clones either and only had two tails.

What she saw should be impossible for such a young nekomata, nekoshou or not.

"See Shironya," Kuroka said proudly to her still-struggling sister. "Onee-sama is strong!"

"Let me go," Koneko said again, eyes starting to water in frustration.

She hated this.

She hated how she was being used to ensure Grayfia could not use her full power.

Hated how scared Rias and Akeno and Yuuto and everyone looked as they desperately tried to reach her.

Hated how weak she was, unable to free herself.

Hated how scared she was.

Koneko hated how comfortable she felt in her sister's arms once more.

Kuroka looked at her younger sister and, amazingly, did as she asked.

Koneko stared, wide-eyed, as Kuroka put her back down to the ground.

The older girl leaned forward, lowering herself slightly till they were at eye level.

Even her clones stopped trying to attack Grayfia, keeping their Kasha burning to deal with the ice, but otherwise, they were not actively attacking anymore.

"Shirone," Kuroka said, far more serious than she had been since she had appeared. "I am sorry. It was necessary, but I am still sorry. Sorry that you were hurt. Sorry I had to leave you alone."

"...what?" Koneko hated how her voice cracked.

"I can't explain right now," Kuroka said, her black ears twitching from a sound Koneko couldn't hear. Her six tails writhed behind her in agitation. "But I will. Someday, you'll understand."

"You left," Koneko accused softly.

All her betrayal, all her heartbreak, all her fear, and all the love she had once felt were packed into two words.

"I did," Kuroka nodded gravely, and the tails sped up in their agitation as her ears drooped. "I will explain everything when I can. I am also sorry I scared you now. I just wanted to see you again. I am not here to take you away. I am sorry I have to leave again."

"...Why?"

Why did Kuroka leave her?

Why was she here now?

Why was she leaving again?

...Why wasn't she insane?

"Onee-sama wanted to see Shironyaa," Kuroka laughed, perking back up. "It's not time yet, but we'll be together soon. All three of us. Onee-sama promises."

A part of Koneko, the part that yearned for her older sister once again, the part she hated, wanted for it to be true. Wanted to believe her sister had her reasons. Koneko wanted the promise to come true.

But Kuroka had broken promises before.

"...Three?" Koneko couldn't help but ask. Who was she talking about?

"Onee-sama found herself a man, nyaa," Kuroka said proudly, her playful demeanour returning. "He's scary and strong and a bit too serious, but don't worry, Onee-sama will have amazing kittens."

...Was her sister actually insane and just been covering it up until now?

"Nyaa!?" Kuroka stumbled away as if she had been stabbed. "Don't look at Onee-sama like that! He's real!"

Koneko continued to watch her sister doubtfully. She didn't doubt Kuroka could find herself a man, she was beautiful after all, but why bring it up now?

What did that have to do with Koneko?

Did she think Koneko would go with her to meet him?

"I am never going with you," Koneko said firmly, the moments of calm giving her time to recompose herself slightly after her world had crashed around her. She looked to Rias, still blasting away at the ice that separated them. "I am staying with Buchou."

Kuroka looked like she was to say something again, but her ears twitched again, and instead, she summoned a wave of black fire to melt a part of the ice wall.

Right away, the wooden wall behind it collapsed, and the second armoured form crashed through. This one was white instead of red.

The figure didn't land on his back but skidded along the ice-covered floor, armoured feet carving a groove as his wings flashed.

[Divide]

For a brief moment, Koneko saw a flash of a blade that threatened to take the White Dragon Emperor's head off. Then it disappeared, and Mikasa stood beside Grayfia, a pair of shattered swords in hand.

"Nyaa?" Kuroka said curiously as she looked the pair of new arrivals over. "Vali? You're losing? Who's she?"

"Don't know. She's weak," the White Dragon Emperor said, and there was a note of glee in his voice. "Fast, but weak. No power at all. All I can divide are her swords as they hit me, and she must have hundreds."

Koneko heard her sister sigh and mumble something about 'battle maniacs.' Now that Koneko had a moment to look, she noticed the blue wings of Divine Dividing were surprisingly small. Much smaller than the massive blue wings they had been when he had taken down Kokabiel.

"Grayfia?" Mikasa asked lowly.

"I'll distract them," Grayfia said grimly. "Get Koneko."

Mikasa nodded, throwing away the destroyed swords and pulling two more European straight swords from who knew where.

Vali prepared himself with a laugh, more than ready and excited for the upcoming fight.

Kuroka wasn't having any of it.

Before any sort of conflict could begin, Vali slumped forward as a fourth Kuroka, hidden under an illusion until now, smacked him behind his head.

Koneko felt it. She felt the senjutsu pass through the armour of Albion's Balance Breaker and disrupt the brain within the skull, rendering him unconscious.

"Vali's an idiot, nyaa," Kuroka sighed as she slung him over her shoulder. "Instead of distracting the guards, he brought them near Shirone. No noodles for him for a week. But we need him, so I can't let you kill him."

"What are you doing here, Black Cat Kuroka," Grayfia asked again, not lowering her guard. "Have you joined these terrorists?"

"The Khaos Brigade? You have it wrong, nyaa~ They joined us." Kuroka paused, tilting her head, ears flickering as she grinned sadistically. "Not that they had a choice. Nyahahahaha~ This whole attack is that idiot Katarea's idea. She's not needed, so please kill her. Ah! Please kill everyone else who attacks you. You'd be doing us a favour, nyaa~."

Then she completely disregarded the two devils and looked back to Koneko, the White Dragon Emperor slung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Onee-sama has to leave now, Shirone. I'll introduce you to brother-in-law later. I promise," Kuroka told her younger sister. "Just not now. Onee-sama needs to have a... talk with him about running off without telling anyone."

For a second, Koneko felt the malice she so feared. It practically radiated from the older girl before she and Vali dissipated in a shimmer of magic.

A part of Koneko wanted to reach out, begging her sister not to leave her again.

But she didn't.

Seeing Kuroka again brought it all back.

The confusion. The abandonment. The sting of betrayal. The pain.

Just because her sister seemed slightly sane and claimed to have a reason for her actions didn't erase everything Koneko had gone through.

And it didn't change what she had gained from that pain.

Even now, as Kuroka gave Koneko a quick hug before teleporting away, her new family was fighting to reach her.

Kuroka's farewell remained unanswered.

Koneko remained silent as her old family disappeared, and her new one embraced her in worried concern.

********

Hmmm, what to say this time?

First off, the peace conference always struck me as odd. I've already mentioned how the actual terms would have been negotiated ahead of time, and that was just the symbolic signing, but the Khaos Brigade's actions were also weird. I get the reasons from a Doylist perspective. It sets up a recurring villain group, gives Issei a chance to fight Vali, and shows off Azazel (who is an important character in DXD after this point).

From a Watsonian perspective, it makes absolutely zero sense. The Khaos Brigade went from an unknown actor to a known threat, showing off their trump (Ophis's power) and gained nothing for it. While it can be chalked up to Katarea being a moron (which she is), I want to play with that idea more. They have a reason, at least in this story. It's just a bit opaque at the moment from the character's perspective.

We also see Kuroka for the first time. She's the last main character I will focus on in this story, though I have one or two more side characters of import that will get some focus. She's obviously different from canon in some regards, but she's the same in others.

That's one of the things I love and struggle with when writing characters in fanfiction. How do you stay true to the original character while showing they have changed? So many things have to be taken into account.

For an example of my thought process: Issei is a Rook. This means Rias can't use Castling to rescue Gasper. But Mikasa is there. So she helps save him because she can't help power the spells that keep the area safe. Issei still gives Gasper blood to regain control and Rias to calm him down, but Issei doesn't need Azazel's device to maintain Balance Breaker. When Vali attacks, the hostages are a priority, as Mikasa would know from her past experience, so she leaves Issei to delay him.

All together, that train of logic accounts for one or two paragraphs in the story, but it is a good example of what can change with even superficial differences. If I want to be able to re-read this story when it is done and go, 'Yep, this is my new canon ending for AOT,' I need to be able to follow these trains of thought and convey them quickly and succinctly.

A bit of a peek behind the screen, but I hope it gives you all an idea of how I write. Either way, two more chapters in Part 2, then we will be on to Part 3, where things will shift once again.

I will meet you all next time on the bench.

PS: For those curious about power levels/abilities, the strongest nekomata in DxD has seven tails and is hundreds of years old. As far as we know in canon, both Shirone and Kuroka go up to three (so far), but are very young.

As for Vali Vs. Mikasa needs to touch someone to Divide their power, unlike what Fanon would have you believe. A speedy weapon user with no powers and hundreds of disposable weapons would be the perfect enemy. He'd still win in the end in a straight fight, but Mikasa could punch well above her weight class for a while and even kill Vali if she took him by surprise.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 23, 2024

Koneko was skipping class.

Rias knew. She offered no chastisement when told, pulling the more petite girl into a firm hug and letting Koneko know she was always available if she needed to talk.

Koneko hadn't wanted to talk.

She had wanted sleep.

Sleep that had eluded her for weeks.

The nightmares, the fear, it all prevented her from getting any rest.

Nee- Kuroka had no right to come back. She had no right to prance back into her life as if she had never left. She had no right to leave Koneko feeling scared, confused, and betrayed all over again.

Sometimes, the dreams were about the good times, brought back by warm arms and a familiar scent.

Most of the time, Koneko dreamed about a promise left unfulfilled, about being left behind.

Those were the worst because they weren't dreams. Just memories.

Mad with power. Corrupted by Senjutsu. That was what Koneko had been told about her sister's abandonment.

She had believed it.

Kuroka was certainly powerful now.

A six-tailed nekomata was almost at the pinnacle their race had ever reached. Combined with her already prodigious magical talent, enough to have needed two Bishops to reincarnate her, Kuroka was at least in the upper ranks of the Ultimate class if she was able to go toe to toe with Grayfia Lucifuge.

For a few minutes at least.

Neither had been using their full power, so Koneko didn't know where Nee- where Kuroka stood compared to Nee-san.

And that was the other source of Koneko's nightmares.

Kuroka had seemed... sane.

Powerful, certainly, but in control. Kuroka was so in control that she hadn't hurt anyone.

According to Issei, all she had done was join Vali when he and Mikasa were teaming up against him. Kuroka had used him to bash through the wall of ice but hadn't even hurt him enough for him to feel it.

And she had been able to fight the Strongest Queen. If Vali was keeping Mikasa busy, Kuroka could have killed Issei in a second.

When Kuroka had talked to Koneko, when she called that old name, held her close, and apologized, Kuroka had seemed perfectly, maddeningly sane.

Exactly as Koneko remembered her older sister being.

Which terrified Koneko.

Because she needed Kuroka to have gone mad.

Because it was the only thing that made sense. Only then could Koneko understand why she had been left behind.

If Kuroka hadn't gone mad, then Shirone had truly been abandoned.

The thoughts kept her up at night, tossing and turning. When she finally fell asleep, it was only to be awoken by the nightmares again.

After weeks without proper rest, even her Devil biology had been strained to limits. She was falling asleep in class, her training was going nowhere, and even her appetite was smaller than usual.

The others tried to help. They really did.

Asia tried to use her Sacred Gear on her almost daily, despite that not being how Twilight Healing actually worked.

Rias, Akeno, and Yuuto tried to get her to talk to them or offer what support they could. Xenovia thought training hard enough would put her right to sleep. Gya-kun had offered her one of his cardboard boxes... a tempting offer, to be sure, but one that hadn't helped.

Even the pervert had noticed and taken it upon himself to take over a few of her contractors.

They were all kind, but they weren't what she needed.

Koneko needed sleep. Sleep uninterrupted from long dreams.

So here she was, skipping school and sleeping in the only place she could.

On a supremely uncomfortable bench and an unfairly comfortable lap.

Koneko didn't know what it was about Eren's lap that just... relaxed her. Maybe it was because of how often they would go without saying a single word to each other. Or it could be because of how often he would join her in napping.

He had never said, just as she never did, but Koneko thought Eren had nightmares, too. It was the only reason she could think of why he slept as much as he did on the bench instead of in his bed at his house.

That silent comradery was... calming? Peaceful? Trustworthy?

Koneko didn't know the exact term, only that she liked it, and it allowed her to fall asleep on the older boy's lap and rest in a way she couldn't anywhere else.

Even knowing how much Ki was right beneath the surface was oddly... reassuring, in a way, like a warm fireplace to curl up by.

His blindness and the wards on the area meant she could fully relax and let out her ears and tail, something she hadn't realized had been contributing to her stress until she had started sleeping with them out.

Eren never touched her, and if he did, she'd just tell him she was wearing a headband, so she wasn't worried.

So Koneko spent the last day of the spring term before they left for the underworld napping on Eren's lap.

He had said nothing when she had joined him instead of going to class, just giving her a nod in greeting and letting her smaller form curl up against his leg, head on his lap.

He remained there, in silence, for hours. Just letting Koneko get the sleep she needed.

She did not dream.

When Koneko awoke in the warm afternoon sun, she was feeling better than she had in weeks.

She stayed there, eyes closed, luxuriating in the clarity of thought and the comfortable pillow.

The bench was still awful, though.

Fully rested, if still bleary, Koneko decided she was hungry.

With an absent thought, her tail reached down and brought her bag to her, careful not to brush against Eren. A cat ear headband was one thing. A tail would be a lot harder to explain.

Koneko rummaged around her bag, pushing books and pencils to the side to grab the food container. It was larger than most, but that was for good reason. Not only did it contain her lunch, but also the snacks she would munch on throughout the day.

Tossing the bookbag carelessly aside, Koneko opened it to root around for something appropriate when she froze.

There, on top of everything else, was a bag of homemade cakes.

That wasn't rare, as Akeno sometimes included treats like that for dessert when she made the Peerage's lunches.

These were not Akeno's cookies, however.

Akeno made deserts in the traditional Japanese style. Good, but without embellishments.

These came from Yuuto.

They were fancy, with an artistic flair that Akeno never used. They were some made jam, with frosting, with cream. There were brownies, macaroons, cookies, maple cream, and all sorts of others. And they were all shaped like little cats.

A small note was attached to the bag, written in Yuuto's precise handwriting.

'I hope you enjoy them and you feel better.'

Koneko didn't know when the Knight had snuck in the treats, but she was suddenly overcome with a surge of... something.

Something strong that made her eyes water slightly.

Memories of Rias, Akeno, and Yuuto welled up, and Koneko allowed herself a smile.

She rubbed the dampness away and held out a small cat filled with cream to Eren.

"Cookie?" She asked the boy who had remained completely silent until now.

He nodded and took it, munching on it as Koneko sat up and started devouring the treats with a much greater gusto.

"Thanks," Eren said as he finished the snack. "Yuuto's?"

"Yes," Koneko answered before holding out a cat-shaped chocolate chip cookie. "Another?"

Eren gave it some thought but eventually ate the sweet treat slowly.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, munching away in companionable silence.

After she had finished the snacks and the actual meal in the bento, Koneko stared at that little note the Knight had left.

"I have a sister."

"Hm?" Eren made a noise of confusion at the sudden utterance.

"She left," Koneko said simply, staring at the note. "Abandoned me."

"...I'm sorry."

"Rias took me in. She was kind. Her family is kind. Akeno, Yuuto, Gya-kun, Asia, even Xenovia and the pervert are kind. You are kind."

"...I'm not-"

"You asked if I was happy," Koneko interrupted his words. No doubt they'd be wrong. Eren was kind to her. "I am. I am happy. But my sister came back."

"And that makes you unhappy," Eren let out a sigh. "You cannot forgive her."

There was so much more than that.

Kuroka had killed her King. She was a Stray devil.

Even if she wasn't insane, which she very well might be, she was still a criminal. One in league with a terrorist organization that had attacked the peace conference.

"...No. I cannot."

A part of Koneko wanted to be happy, was happy, to see her sister again. The part that had worried for her and secretly prayed for her return every day for months after she had left.

But Kuroka brought so much pain, confusion, and betrayal back with her.

She had been gone for years. Years when Koneko had needed her the most.

And she walks back in with more power than ever and as a terrorist, promising they'd be together again.

It was all... too much. Too complicated. Too painful.

"Don't then," Eren said casually.

Koneko blinked, having been momentarily lost in her thoughts and not expecting such an answer.

"She hurt you, didn't she?" Eren asked, sensing Koneko's confusion. Koneko nodded.

Then Koneko realized she had done it again.

"...Yes."

"Whether she did it on purpose or not doesn't matter," Eren said, tapping his cane on the ground in thought as he spoke slowly. "We sometimes hurt the ones we love. On purpose or on accident. It doesn't matter. All that matters is the pain was real. Your sister came back? Then it is on her, not you, to fix things."

"...What if I want her back?" Koneko asked softly. Guiltily.

She had been happy with her life. Even after Kokabiel's attack, she had been recovering. But a part of her would always miss her sister, the sister who had cared for her when their mother died.

Koneko feared Kuroka.

Feared what her sister had become and what it meant for herself. Feared that the Black Cat would take her away from the family she had grown to love.

But you can still love someone who hurt you.

Conflicting emotion roiled and churned within her breast.

"She still hurt you," Eren shook his head. "Do not let her hurt you again. She has to be the one to start fixing things. Only you can decide when it is enough. When you can trust her to not hurt you again. She starts, you finish."

Koneko didn't know if she could ever trust her sister again. Not after everything. Not when she continued to use Senjutsu and threatened to take her from her new family.

Kuroka had said she wouldn't. Yet.

But Koneko could not trust the Black Cat to keep her word.

And she was still a terrorist.

Who knew what she was planning or who this 'brother-in-law' was?

There was just too much unknown.

Still...

"Thanks," Koneko said softly. "For listening."

Eren frowned softly and let out a sigh as he turned his head towards a sky he couldn't see.

"I had an older brother," he confessed.

"...What?" Koneko asked.

"We didn't know each other until we were older," Eren shrugged. "Different mothers. When he found out about me, his first goal was to reach me. To talk. We were on different sides, different armies, but he still wanted the best for the younger brother he never knew. He risked his life to 'rescue' me as he saw it."

"What happened?" Koneko couldn't help but ask.

Everyone had been slowly piecing together what they knew of Eren's past, Sona especially, to try and line things up with verifiable times and places, yet nothing fit together with what they had found.

The names he mentioned were not part of his former mercenary group, meaning they were probably child soldiers like him. Yet their names were Germanic, not consistent with his time in Africa. He was an orphan, yet he had found his parents and done something that led to their death.

Now he had an older brother?

Nobody thought Eren was lying to them. The emotion was too raw, too painful for it to be lies, yet there was a disconnect here. A missing link that would tie everything together.

Any time Eren spoke of his past, it was a rare, precious thing. Only once every few weeks or months, it not only provided another piece to the puzzle, it also gave them a better grasp of who he had been before... this.

Before he had been exiled to die alone on a bench in Kuoh.

And, a small part of Koneko whispered, Eren only used his past to try and help them. So they would avoid what he saw as his own mistakes.

Those were not the actions of a liar.

"I betrayed him," Eren sighed again. "In many ways, he was the better man. Our father was not kind to him, yet his first response to finding out I lived was to try and save me from what he thought were similar circumstances. I think... I think he did love me. He did everything he could to bring me over to his viewpoint. To be a good big brother. And I used it against him. I manipulated him, fought him, and did the one thing he sought to prevent. His plan was a travesty I would never agree with, but mine was worse. We fought. I won. And my comrades killed him, as I knew they would."

"...Did you love him?"

"...I don't think I did," Eren admitted. "It was too late by then. Not only had he killed many of my comrades, too many, but I was set on my path by the time we really got to talk. If I had told him my real plan, he would never have agreed, just as I couldn't agree to his. We were both two very different people. I didn't love him. But I could have. In another world, one less cruel, one where we grew up together, I could have loved my big brother."

Eren turned, facing her directly.

"I have never been in your position," he admitted. "I have been in your sister's. Both with my brother and with my real family. I hurt them both. Intentionally and unintentionally. One brother, the one I was related to, I didn't love. I used him. The other wasn't blood, but I loved him like a brother. The former, I did not seek forgiveness from. The latter? I begged. I pleaded. I cried. I wanted to be understood. Even though I didn't deserve it, I wanted to be forgiven."

The situations were different. The scale was larger than Eren could understand, involving peace between factions, terrorism, and grudges that had their roots millennia in the past. Powers a mortal could not understand.

Yet Eren's message, spoken with such regret, guilt, and love, carved itself in Koneko's heart.

"Find out which of these two your sister is, then make your choice. I can't make it for you. All I can say is that if I had the chance, I would still be begging for forgiveness from the brother I loved."

Koneko didn't nod or say anything.

She just wrapped the older boy in a hug, letting him know without words that she understood.

They stayed like that till it was time for Koneko to leave, waiving one last goodbye to Eren before she left for the summer with the rest of her friends.

Then she hurried away in embarrassment, realizing she had done it again.

Eren was left alone as the sun set in the park.

"Are you going to come down now?"

"Nyahahaha," Kuroka giggled as she dropped from the tree, shifting back into human form. "How'd you know?"

"I sensed you," Eren said simply. "A while ago."

"Ara? You managed to learn sensing?" Kuroka asked as she sashayed over to the bench.

"I've had a year to practice," Eren deadpanned as if saying that even he could learn something with that much time. "I've been waiting for you to do something for weeks."

"Like what, nyaa?" Kuroka asked as she nuzzled up against the blind boy.

"Vali attacked me as soon as he saw me," Eren shrugged. "I thought you'd do the same."

"Nyaa?" Kuroka hummed in confusion. "You should have seen I'd never hurt you."

"Vali didn't tell you," Eren asked with a head tilt. "While I'm on this bench, I can't see anything. I am blind."

Kuroka's eyes widened, reaching for that familiar connection with her Senjutsu.

It wasn't there.

She could still sense Eren since she was touching him, enormously diminished as he was, but she could not reach out further.

The Path was closed to her.

"Are you..." Kuroka hesitated, tails whipping back and forth in agitation. "Are you okay?"

Sitting here, feeling how weak Eren had become, Kuroka could not help the fear and pain that gripped her heart.

Her Titan looked so... fragile. So frail.

And yet...

"It's almost time," Eren acknowledged. "I don't have much time left."

Kuroka closed her eyes in pain.

Eren had never kept his short life a secret from her, as he did their allies.

He had done it to dissuade her when she started ramping up her attempts to win him over fully. He tried to never lie to her about the true nature of their relationship. All it had done was spur her on.

Eren said he would never have children, but Kuroka was determined to prove him wrong. If he was wrong about that, he could be wrong about his death.

"I'll keep my promise," Eren reassured. "It is only when I am here that I can't see the Path. Everything else will go exactly as planned. It's already happened for me."

That wasn't what she was worried about, this stupid man.

Kuroka burrowed her head deeper for a second, taking in the long, familiar scent and reassuring warmth.

Then she sat up.

She would change the future. Eren wouldn't die. He'd live a long and happy life.

And they'd have lots of kittens.

As always, the idea of Titan Nekomata sent a trill of humour, wonder, and pleasure down Kuroka's spine.

Giant kittens pawing around the underworld, chasing massive balls of yarn and causing earthquakes as they tumbled around.

Screw dragons, that would be the strongest race.

Speaking of kittens...

"Thank you," Kuroka said softly, leaning against Eren's shoulder. "For taking care of Shirone."

Eren just nodded as if it was the expected thing to do.

"Still," the Stray Bishop couldn't help but pout. "You could have gone easier on me. Couldn't you have told Shirone to accept her Nee-sama back?"

"You hurt her," Eren shook his head. "You had good reason, but you still hurt her. You must make up for it if you want to be a part of her life again. I promised you the chance. Everything else is up to you two. I can't see that far."

"You're such a serious man, nyaa," Kuroka complained playfully.

"One of us has to be," Eren nodded severely. "You? Bikou? Or the Ramen Dragon?"

Kuroka froze, staring at the boy with eyes wide in shock.

Had Eren... made a joke?

She couldn't help it.

"Nyahahahahahah," Kuroka howled with laughter. More than the joke itself, the unexpectedness and the relief had her laughing and laughing.

Eren bore with it, not smiling or even acknowledging his attempt at humour, but Kuroka knew him best out of anyone in this world.

She saw the way his shoulders slacked, the looseness on his face, and the way his face slightly angled away in the slightest hint of embarrassment.

Kuroka had been scared. Scared that Eren had gone off to die. That he had disappeared, never to be seen again.

Kuroka had been scared that she would never learn what happened to the man she had come to love as he, in his stupidly headstrong nature, had advanced to some future she couldn't follow.

Kuroka had not heard one word about him for over a year despite looking all over the world and the underworld for him.

To find out he had never left Kuoh after she asked him to check on Shirone... It was as infuriating as it was worrying.

He looked worse than ever.

Of the young boy who had destroyed a Devil lineage just to meet with her, only a sickly man remained.

Yet, after watching him for the last few weeks, Kuroka had realized something.

Eren was... better than ever. More whole. Still dour and severe, still Eren, but the edge was duller.

He was still walking forward, but it wasn't a mad dash anymore.

It gave her hope that she could finally reach him.

"Nyahaha," Kuroka's laughter petered out as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Did you call him that, nyaa? Albion must have been angry."

Eren didn't answer, but Kuroka had enough fun imagining the scene that it didn't matter if he did or not.

Still, if Eren was going to be more open...

"Hey," Kuroka said gently as her giggles quieted. "Tell me about him."

"Hm?"

"Your brother."

"There's not much to say," Eren sighed. "Like I told Shirone, I didn't know about him till I was older, and we were on opposite sides."

"Not him, nyaa," Kuroka scooted slightly away from Eren and gently guided Eren to fall onto her lap, resting his head against her thighs as he had done for Shirone. Eren let her. Trusting her. "The other one. The one you loved. Did he ever forgive you?"

Eren lay there, facing the sky, as she ran her hands through his long hair. The bandages were annoying, but she knew their purpose, so Kuroka left them alone.

For a long minute, Kuroka thought he wouldn't answer. So many times, she had asked about his past. So many times, she had gotten nothing but silence for her efforts.

That was all right.

Eren didn't have to say anything.

Kuroka's curiosity was a strong thing, one that would never be slacked until she knew everything there was to know about Eren Yeager, no matter how long it took.

If he wouldn't speak now, if he didn't want to talk about it, Kuroka would wait a thousand years if that was what it took.

For what he did for her, what he would do for her, she could wait.

It was a surprise when he actually spoke.

"No," Eren denied. "He never forgave me. What I had done, would do, wasn't something that could be forgiven. Instead, Armin promised me something. He'd shoulder the blame with me."

"He must have loved you," Kuroka said softly, a rumble of purr escaping her.

"Armin was my best friend," Eren said quietly. "The smartest of us. The best of us. My brother in every way but blood."

Kuroka didn't say anything more, continuing to run her fingers through his hair as the sun set.

"I have so many regrets. Too many. I stand by my actions, no matter how much I regret them. It was needed. Of my actions, I would only change two."

The guilt was cloying in his voice as Eren grit his teeth.

"He promised to meet me in hell..." Eren paused, letting out a choking breath. "Being reborn in this world means I won't be there. When I go to hell, it will be a different one. I am not worried. He would never have gone to hell. I entrusted the world to him. There is no way he'd ever go to hell. He's too good. Too moral. Ultimately, he could not cast away his humanity, and I am so proud of him." Eren choked down a sob. "I just wish... All I wish is that I could have told Armin goodbye."

For all that Eren tried to appear emotionless and uncaring, rebuffing her attempts to sway his heart and showing a strong front, Kuroka noticed he had never let go of her gift as tears trailed down his face.

Eren's fingers rubbed the two wings as he lay his head on her lap, and they rested together once again.

The sun set on old friends and comrades finally reunited, as the pair spent a warm summer night on the bench.

********

A bit more of a deep dive into Koneko's state, a taste of Kuroka and Eren's relationship, and a reflection on his perception of Zeke.

My personal take on the two brothers has always been that Zeke sincerely tried to work with Eren and came to care about him, but that wasn't returned. By then, Eren had already seen a flash of the future during the ceremony with Historia. He spent years searching for proof that he could change his future, that the Rumbling wasn't the only option, but he could never find it. Zeke, as the royal Eren would use instead of Historia, couldn't breach his heart because he knew Zeke's plan, which he disagreed with, and knew Zeke would die with him.

We have one more chapter in part 2, then we'll move on to part 3. I will meet you all next time on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Jan 28, 2024

"I'll be right outside; just press the button if you need me, sir," Mikasa heard the nurse say, voice filled with almost reverent awe.

"Thank you," Armin said absentmindedly, not paying the nurse attention as she left the room and closed the door behind her.

The steady beeping of the machine and the woman's heavy breathing on the bed were the only sounds left in the room.

It wasn't enough to completely drown out the crowd's noise outside the building.

Armin couldn't go anywhere without some form of hubbub, and he had forgone discretion to arrive as soon as possible.

It used to worry her. Armin used to be such a shy boy, needing her and... Needing people to help him. He had grown to be so much more since then, but she never forgot who they used to be, and she never forgot her worry for her friend. Even in her state, Mikasa couldn't help but take a long look at the man she hadn't seen in a few months.

Armin looked... old.

Once blond hair now hung in wispy grey strands. His skin was sunken and pale, hanging too loosely on his bones. He barely stood with the help of a cane.

Not that she was any better.

Various instruments and tubes were attached to withered flesh, meant to keep her alive.

Not that Mikasa cared about living much longer.

Armin Artlet, her best and last friend, was dying.

Mikasa had known this would happen one day. She was just lucky that she was going first.

As if to make up for their once limited life span, the former titan shifters had retained some fraction of the enhanced vitality they once possessed. They had outlived almost everyone.

Yet, not even they could ignore the march of time.

Armin was the last. The last human to ever be a titan to still walk the earth.

The Last Titan.

It had been a long life. A full life.

Armin had seen the worst of humanity and rose against it. For all the terrible things he had seen and done in his youth, he had dedicated the rest of his life to bringing peace and happiness to the world so that others might not suffer as he did. He had fallen in love, built a family, and still found time to curb humanity's worst impulses.

Armin was a large part of the reason that the rebuilding of the world after the Rumbling had gone so well. That peace had lasted so long after the Battle of Heaven and Earth.

It had been a long and happy life.

So he sat quietly at her bedside, holding Mikasa's withered hand with what little strength he still possessed.

Even if an Ackerman lived long, she wasn't immune to time either. Her life had been much simpler by comparison. She had had enough of fighting with the world as a whole. It had been selfish of her, but Mikasa had left the future to those best qualified to build it.

She, too, had a long and happy life.

And here they were, the last of the 104th Trainee Corps. The last Scouts.

They were all that remained of a much crueller era.

"I'm sorry," Armin suddenly said.

"For what?" Mikasa asked weakly.

"For leaving you alone for so long."

"I wasn't alone," she said. "I had Grisha and Ymir. Erwin and Hange visit, too. You should be proud."

"I am. I saw them outside."

Armin's wizened face stretched into that boyhood smile at the mention of his children for the tiniest of seconds. Mikasa's heart swelled, but it was gone too fast. In its place was the world-weary look he had most days since Annie's death.

"But I am still sorry. I ran around for so long and haven't made time for you. And now this. I came as soon as I heard."

"Don't apologize," Mikasa chastised. "I couldn't do half of what you did."

Armin's laugh devolved into a coughing fit, but he waived her off when she was about to call a nurse.

"Cough. Don't, ack, bother," Armin said, barely getting his breathing under control. "Eren would punch me if a cough ended up killing me after everything."

Mikasa's heart throbbed in familiar pain at the name, but she didn't let it show as Armin settled back into his seat.

"You'll be fine," Armin said with what strength and hope he could muster. "We've gone through worse. You've gone through worse."

"I won't," Mikasa said, a note of finality in her voice. "This is it. I know it is. The end of my path. I am not sorry. I refuse to bury you, too."

"It won't be long for me either."

"Don't say that," Mikasa begged, eyes tearing up as she grasped his hand as tightly as she could. As if her measly strength could hold onto him.

"It's true," Armin sighed. "Ever since Annie... passed, I knew my time would come. I tried to hold out. I really did, but I can't anymore. I'm sorry."

Mikasa didn't say anything, just clutching his hand tightly and closing her eyes as if it would stop the tears.

It didn't.

The beep beep beep of the machine echoed through the room.

"I..." Armin paused, unsure of what to say.

"What," Mikasa croaked, voice feeble.

"I dreamed of him," Armin said, and Mikasa opened red-rimmed eyes to see him staring at the ceiling. "Eren."

He didn't need to clarify.

Even after all these years, there was only one 'him.'

Mikasa's breath hitched as the familiar pain echoed, reinforced by the sadness of impending loss.

"He was the same as I remember him," Armin said, his voice wistful. Nostalgic. Far away, as if he was seeing something she couldn't. "It's been so long, and he was so young. I was young. It was like we were talking in the Paths again."

Armin reached out as if cupping something in his hands he couldn't see.

Then his arm lost strength and fell to the bed.

"He came to say goodbye."

Armin's voice cracked, and tears beaded his eyes.

"Not 'see you later.' Goodbye."

"...Armin?" Mikasa asked as the tears flowed freely from the dying man.

"He told me-" Armin's voice cut out as he sobbed. "He said he was proud of me. That I had helped create a better world. That I had kept my promise to him. He told me I wasn't going to hell. He told me I'd done too much good. I can't go to hell. That it would be the last time we saw each other."

These were the tears of an old man. Tears of a good man who did terrible things for his people, country and friends. Who had helped kill his best friend.

The tears of an old man who had finally been forgiven yet could not forgive himself.

"And I was... relieved."

The old man was openly weeping now. In a way he hadn't done in years, the tears streamed from his eyes as he looked at her with pleading eyes.

"I was so damn relieved!" Armin said, self-disgust in his voice as he pounded the bed with feeble strength. "I promised him, Mikasa! I promised Eren! I promised I'd meet him in hell! That I would help shoulder the responsibility. And when I found out I wouldn't? That I'd see Annie again? I was so happy. So damned happy!"

Mikasa could do nothing for her best and last friend as he wailed, the beeping increasing in tempo as her heart accelerated in sympathy. Eventually, after a long minute of heaving sobs, the Last Titan quieted his rage and self-disgust.

"I don't want to go to hell," Armin Arlert said as if confessing the greatest of sins. The tears still flowed, but he looked at her now, begging Mikasa to understand. "I want to see Annie, and Jean, and Connie, and Historia, and Reiner, and Sasha, and Captain Levi, and Hange, and Gramps, and Mom and Dad. I want to see them all again. But I promised him, Mikasa."

Armin pleaded and begged Mikasa to understand the weakness and pain of a mortal man.

She did.

Mikasa Ackerman knew very well how much it hurt to kill your heart.

And she also knew Eren Yeager.

"He'd be happier if you broke your promise," Mikasa reassured Armin with the truth.

"But..." Armin gasped out a sob. "He must be lonely. So lonely. I can't leave him alone. I can't. We entrusted too much to him. Put too much on his shoulders. I should carry some of it. We are all to blame, not just him. He can't be the only one to pay. Not alone. I showed him that book. I did all those terrible things. I promised him. I promised."

"We all did," Mikasa's voice cracked. "All of us. The military. Humanity. Eldia. The scouts. You, me, everyone. We kept entrusting more and more to him. He carried all those bodies on his back. We were the ones who wanted to use the Rumbling as a threat. We were the ones who would use Historia and her children as sacrifices for our future. We are all to blame."

"But I was the one who promised him," Armin repeated, eyes swimming with tears. "We saw them in the end. We all did. Even with all the terrible things we did, they aren't in hell. Eren is alone there. He can't be alone. I can't let him be alone. I promised him Mikasa."

As she listened to Armin talk, listened to him pour out this last confession of an old man, Mikasa told her last friend the secret she had long kept.

"He won't be alone."

A secret she had planned to take to her grave.

Armin's tears slowed to a stop as he listened to her and the plan she had laid out so long ago.

"Ahhh," Armin let out a rasping sigh, at once of relief and of self-disgust. "I... I should have known."

"You would have... after," Mikasa said lowly. "It's in my will."

"I never deserved friends like you two," Armin said, his free hand reaching over to cup her cheek and rub along the scar that had never healed. "You've always been too good for me. Always going ahead. I'm always trying to catch up."

"You've always been the best of us," Mikasa said, a small, sad smile on her face. "You surpassed us long ago."

Armin seemed to shudder as he felt her arm falling softly to the bed again.

"I'll leave Eren to you, then," he gasped, eyes blurry from tears. "Be careful. He's a handful."

"I know," Mikasa said softly.

That was it. That was all she had.

Mikasa had been fighting for her entire life to not waste the gift she had been given. The cursed and blessed gift, paid for by so much death and destruction.

She had been strong for so long. Too long.

It was time to lay down her swords.

The beeping started to slow as Armin's hands tightened on weak fingers.

Mikasa had the strength to say a few quiet, final words before the nurses rushed in, and the flat noise of the machine drowned it out.

"Goodbye, Armin."

No history book would ever record the passing of Mikasa Ackerman. Her name had long faded from public consciousness. Only a handful of people attended her funeral.

Her family was unsurprised by her passing despite their sadness.

At her memorial, her son, Grisha, would tell all who attended that his mother was the strongest woman ever born and that he was glad she could finally rest.

Per her will, Mikasa was not buried in the cemetery dedicated to heroes with all her lost friends and her husband.

Instead, all that marked her final resting place was an old and battered grave marker that had been there for close to a century and a smaller piece of fresh and clean stone placed there as she was lowered into the ground.

Mikasa Ackerman's casket was filled with her favourite flowers, wrapped in the red scarf she had worn her entire life, and laid to rest under a towering tree.

A day after the funeral, an old man walked to the hill alone on weak legs.

He stared at the graves.

He stared at the tree.

He could hear the laughter of three children as they ran up the hill.

He could see a small boy lead the way, a broad smile on his face as he looked back as if challenging the other two to catch up.

He could see the steady run of the girl, only a step behind, as her red scarf flapped in the wind.

Well behind the first two, he saw a smaller, weaker boy struggle to catch up. His legs shook. His breath heaved. He tripped and stumbled.

But his smile was as big as the other two.

He could see it all, though he was alone with the tree on the hill.

Leaves were falling again.

"I am sorry I broke my promise," Armin told the graves. "I am sorry I can't join you. I am sorry I was always the last to reach the tree. I hope you two are together, wherever you are. Take care of each other."

The wind blew. The grass rustled. The leaves fell.

With movements slowed by age, Armin Artlet took the two leaves that had fallen on his hat.

The laughter of the children grew louder.

He placed the two leaves in front of the graves.

"Goodbye, Eren. Goodbye, Mikasa."

********

That evening, Armin Artlet was admitted to the hospital.

For weeks, all the world could speak of was the death of the Final Titan.

His passing was an international event as the world mourned the loss of a man who had done more for peace than anyone else.

Future history would mark his passing as the end of an era. The final tombstone of an age of titans and the long peace Armin had brought.

It would also be the beginning of a new dawn, one where the lessons of the past were forgotten as there was no one around to remember it.

Armin Arlert, the Final Titan, the Hero, the Traitor, the man who brought peace to the world, the great diplomat, and the Last Scout Commander, was buried beside his wife in the cemetery with almost all his friends.

He died in his sleep with a smile on his face.

Armin's last dream was of three young children running.

Of falling leaves and laughter.

Of smiles as he chased a boy and a girl to the tree on the hill.

Armin opened his eyes to his wife's welcoming arms and the greeting of long-dead comrades.

********

Mikasa woke without a sound in her little cabin in the woods, wiped the tears from her eyes, and got dressed.

As she did every morning, she checked the defence and repair enchantments on her scarf before wrapping it around herself. She had taken care of it for so long, but it had only returned to its once vibrant colour thanks to the aid of her friend and King.

Unlike usual, Mikasa did not start tending to her garden immediately or visit the towns in her territory. All the orphanages she visited knew not to expect her today.

Instead, Mikasa spread her wings to take to the air.

Sitri territory was far from the Underwold's version of Eldi- of Madagascar, even with her speed. Mikasa had to leave early to arrive in time to greet Sona as she returned home for the summer.

She could have teleported. As a Pawn of a Satan and a High-class devil in her own right, Mikasa had her own sigil to use as a teleportation circle.

While Mikasa lacked the magic to power it herself, like her weapon enchantments or those on her scarf, Sera had bugged Adjuka long enough to get him to make a portable battery she could use in day-to-day tasks.

That wasn't the reason she didn't teleport.

Mikasa never teleported if she could fly.

Flight reminded her of her youth.

Reminded her of ODM gear and the incredible rush it brought.

And if a bird happened to fly with her for a few hours?

Well, Mikasa could imagine she wasn't alone in the air.

Instead, Mikasa was flying side by side with a young boy, a broad smile on his face, as they flew hand in hand through the skies of this strange version of hell.

********

This is the last chapter of Part 2 and roughly the story's halfway point.

It also marks where I have run out of my pre-written chapters. From here on, it will be only one chapter a week on Sundays until Rapturous Rhapsody is finished; then, I will return to two chapters for this fic until it is done as well.

Until next time, I'll be waiting on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Feb 4, 2024

"Aunty, do you have a minute to talk?" Sona asked as she emerged from her teleportation circle.

Mikasa looked up in surprise at the sudden arrival of her honorary niece. Sona felt bad about showing up unannounced, but she wanted to talk to her sister's Pawn without her Peerage around.

Or her family.

"I do," Mikasa said slowly, standing up from tending to her vegetable garden. She brushed herself off before giving Sona a long look. "I will put on some tea."

Sona gave her aunt a soft, if slightly nervous, smile.

That show of emotion, more than anything, had Mikasa giving her another look before she entered her small cabin, Sona following along.

The young devil didn't know if what she was about to do was right.

Satan's, she had fought against almost this exact thing a few weeks ago. But now, with the approach of the Young Devils gathering, Sona felt herself evaluating herself, her future, and what she wanted.

So Sona had come to the only person she felt could provide her with the answers she needed.

As always, Sona was struck by the humbleness of her aunt's residence.

Mikasa's house was small, far from the opulence of her own family's estate or even that of most Sitri servants. Only one story tall and wide enough for a living room, a small bedroom, a kitchen and a bathroom.

Despite technically owning more land than some countries, the only part of her property the Pawn used was a few acres of fenced-in yard with her garden.

Mikasa lived a quiet, secluded life far from combat or politics. She did not have an official position or list of duties like other members of the Satans' Peerage. The only time she ever left her land was if Serafall dragged her somewhere or to visit Sona.

It was a humble existence, one at odds with the incredible warrior Sona knew her aunt could be.

The only hint of the woman's combat abilities was the half-decorative sword over the fireplace. Flat and palm-wide with two triggers for the handle, Sona noted idly that it looked like Eren's cane blade, only wider and with a different handle.

But that was superficial at best.

The thinness of Eren's weapon was designed to be inconspicuous and fit in a cane, whereas this was how the sword on the mantle had always been, according to her aunt.

Mikasa had it created as a memento of her time fighting as a human. She never used it in actual combat. Odds were, as flimsy as it was, it wouldn't even pierce the skin of a Mid-class devil.

Mikasa used regular enchanted swords these days. She still used them disposably, and Sona knew that most of her aunt's money went to keeping the storage item her sister had given her Pawn full of blades with assorted effects.

A rich person's version of Blade Blacksmith.

It wasn't like Mikasa had anything else to spend her money on, and her fighting style had heavily contributed to Kiba's crush on her when he trained under her for a summer as a child.

Then Sona could distract herself no longer as her aunt approached with the tea.

"What is the matter," Mikasa asked somewhat bluntly as she set a cup of tea in front of Sona before sitting on the opposite seat in the small living room. "And why couldn't it wait a few hours?"

"I wished to speak with you away from my sister, my parents, and my Peerage," Sona admitted as she sipped the warm beverage.

It was an ordinary green tea without a sweetener, but Sona still appreciated it. It reminded her of the many days she'd come to her aunt's little corner of the Underworld to read in peace.

"First of all, thank you again for your help training my Peerage. We will need all the experience we can get to stand up to the likes of Sairaorg and Rias. Even Seekviara, Diadora, and Zephyrdor shall be a challenge to overcome, and I will need to put on a good showing. Your help is greatly appreciated in getting my team ready."

The older woman looked Sona in the eyes for a long second before nodding and giving her a small smile.

"I am happy to help." Then her smile faded, and Mikasa's eyes narrowed. "Why are you here, Sona?"

Sona took another sip of her tea, looking anywhere but at her aunt.

"I believe," the heiress hedged slowly. "That I may be developing an interest in a boy. Romantically, that is."

Sona's ears burned in embarrassment as she stared into her tea.

Nothing was said for a long moment, and eventually, the young devil had to look up as the silence got to her.

Mikasa was staring at her, wide-eyed and mouth slightly ajar. An almost imperceptible flush to her cheeks.

Catching Sona's eyes, Mikasa closed her mouth and cleared her throat, the flush spreading further along her cheeks.

"I see," the Pawn said, a slight creak in her voice. She took a sip of tea, looking out the window so as not to meet Sona's eyes again. "I suppose you are at that age. I understand why you would not wish your sister to know about... that. But why not approach your mother if you have questions? Why me?"

"He is human," Sona said plainly, and Mikasa gave a slight wince.

Sona loved her parents, she really did, but they were pureblood devils through and through. They would be able to accept her falling in love with a reincarnated devil, albeit reluctantly, if they grew to High-class status.

But a human?

Forget joining a convent, Sona's parents would force her to become a magical girl on her sister's show.

Much worse.

"Are you planning to reincarnate him?" Mikasa asked curiously, looking at the younger girl again.

"It... It is complicated," Sona hedged lightly, not wanting to get into the specifics of Eren.

At least for the moment.

Her initial reasoning for keeping him a secret from her sister and honorary aunt was still valid, after all. In a few years, she could explain everything.

Or never.

Sona liked 'never' better.

"For the moment, he will not be becoming a devil," Sona said, brushing over the subject. She wasn't even sure Eren knew about devils, let alone that she was one. "But that is one of the things I wanted to ask about. My parents would not understand me liking a human, but you were one. So I would like your advice."

"About what," Mikasa asked with a lightly furrowed brow.

"Um," Sona cleared her throat lightly, looking away.

Satans, this was awkward.

Not just because it was about romance but because of what she was about to ask and the effect it might have on the woman.

If there was something spending time with Eren had taught her, it was that trauma could crop up at the most unexpected times. Wounds could be opened by accident.

Only Sona wasn't planning on accidentally hurting her aunt. Her question would be the equivalent of stabbing a scar with a new blade.

Satans, how did Rias handle things like this?

As Sona gathered her courage, Mikasa remained silent, face in her usual neutral expression.

"Mortality," Sona eventually bit out, babbling at the awkwardness. "That is, humans are, I mean, they die and are fragile, and you never know, and we live for so long-"

"Stop," Mikasa interrupted the younger girl. "Take a deep breath. Then speak. This isn't like you."

Sona filled her lungs, held her breath, and let out the breath.

"Right," the Sitri heiress nodded, some of her usual composure returning. "My apologies. I just fear the topic is sensitive and will cause you distress."

"Don't be afraid of hurting my feelings," Mikasa said bluntly. "I can handle it."

"Very well," Sona nodded and asked the question she was here for with her chin held high to meet her aunt's eyes.

"If you were in love with someone who would die soon, would you tell them how you feel?"

"Yes."

The answer wasn't just immediate. It was instant.

Sona didn't even have time to finish her question before Mikasa had spoken. Nor did she have time to be surprised because her aunt, in a rare moment, started talking at length.

"I would not only tell them I loved them, I would show it. Every day, every minute they had left that we still had together, I would spend it all proving how much I loved him."

"What if you are rejected," Sona asked. "What if they don't feel the same?"

"So what," Mikasa stared into Sona's eyes for a long second before her gaze drifted out the window. "You are young. You do not understand how cruel love can be. Or how beautiful. Even if it hurts, those memories, those feelings... they are more precious than anything."

Normally, Sona would have bristled at those words, her pride being unable to tolerate being dismissed because she was 'young.'

The pain in Mikasa's eyes as they stared at a bird perched on her fence through the window quashed any hurt feelings Sona might have entertained.

"It is one of the greatest disconnects I've faced as a devil," the older woman admitted. "It is so easy to forget when you have power, when you live so long. Death comes quickly. The swipe of a blade. Human or devil, it doesn't matter. There are always regrets. Never enough time. So, make the most of what you have. Even if it hurts. Even if he doesn't feel the same way. Because the moments you miss will hurt more than any rejection ever will."

Sona adjusted her glasses as she thought over Mikasa's words.

They were hard to accept.

Not because she believed the Pawn was wrong, per se, but because the situation with Eren was just so unconventional.

If he had a regular human lifetime, it would make sense. Or if they had known each other for longer.

But Eren only had a year left, if that.

Even if everything went perfectly, they would only be 'together' briefly. With such limited time, was it not better to simply remain friends and enjoy the current relationship?

And that was assuming everything went perfectly.

There was every possibility Eren didn't feel the same way about her, or even if he did, he wouldn't want to engage in romance with his impending demise.

Would telling him about her devil status and the Evil Pieces be better or worse in that situation?

Would Eren think Sona was trying to take advantage of his situation and possibly their feelings to reincarnate him?

Would Eren give up his freedom for love if they did come to love each other?

Sona was objective enough with herself, even if inexperienced with matters of the heart, to know she liked Eren. She cared for him, and she could see pursuing a relationship with him. But was that love? Sona didn't think so.

Sona was not Rias. She could not easily give out her heart.

Both a strength and a weakness, Sona reflected.

"You don't believe me," Mikasa said, studying Sona intently as she sipped her tea.

"I do," Sona nodded, pulled from her thoughts. "It is..." Sona struggled to put the thoughts into words. "Unless something happens, I will live for thousands of years. He will not. I do not believe he would welcome becoming a devil, even if I offered it, so we are going to part no matter what. And I will have to find a husband eventually."

Sona was not Rias.

She would do her duty to her family. She had escaped her own arranged marriage but still intended to continue the Sitri house one day. It had been timing, more than anything, that had led to her rejecting the marriage. She didn't want to tie herself to another Pureblood devil until her dream was already underway.

"I suppose I do not want my memories to be tainted," Sona admitted, looking down into her tea. "Whatever happens now, I will live with it for the rest of my life. And, knowing that I will outlive him, it doesn't feel right. Even if he felt the same way, he could give me the rest of his life, his whole heart, but I cannot promise the same. Like I am just allocating a section of my heart, knowing I will have to give most of it to someone else. And that feels unfair. He doesn't deserve that."

"Do not do that!"

Sona jumped at the suddenness of the order.

Mikasa stared her adopted niece down and, for the first time today, Sona felt the force of the woman.

Sona was a High-Class devil. While the likes of Sairaorg and Rias might overpower her, she was still one of the greatest devils of her generation.

Mikasa was a Pawn with not a single drop of magic to her name. She had no Sacred Gear or unique heritage.

Yet one of them had killed a fully grown Red Dragon Emperor.

And it wasn't Sona.

"Do not base your happiness on others!" Mikasa ordered. "Love. Always love. But never let love be chains."

Always chase freedom. Never become a slave to it.

"Nobody deserves anything," Mikasa said lowly, hand idly shifting her scarf. "Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. That is life."

Sona bit her lip.

She knew her aunt spoke the truth. Knew that life was unfair. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.

Power begets power. Weakness begets weakness.

Education was the great equalizer.

The pen to defeat the sword.

It was one of the main reasons Sona dreamed of a school. One for everybody. Regardless of race, bloodline, or status.

To build a school where everyone got the same opportunities and where effort and dedication were rewarded regardless of the unfair advantages of the outside world.

Where the weak could grow to defeat the strong, and the strong could face their own weaknesses.

Such a school would be the ultimate paradise for a girl born into wealth and privilege yet eternally cast in a frozen shadow.

Sona still had a long way to go.

"The man I loved died when I was your age."

Sona blinked, torn from her thoughts.

She looked up, but Mikasa wasn't looking at her anymore. She was staring out the window again.

Her face was blank.

Not the regular neutral expression of the woman who rarely emoted that Sona knew, but the blankness of a broken doll.

Mikasa rarely ever talked about her past. She had heard it brought up maybe five times in all of Sona's life.

Her aunt wasn't shy about the fact she came from another world, but getting any specifics about it was like pulling teeth. Partly, that was due to how quiet Mikasa was as a woman and her isolated lifestyle, but a much larger part was due to how the Pawn withdrew whenever she talked about it.

All Sona knew was that Mikasa had been human, a soldier of some sort, married with a child, died of old age, and that her world had no magic. But every time a young, inquisitive Sona had tried to ask more, her aunt would close off.

Like the pain and regrets sealed her mouth.

Sona hated seeing her aunt like that. Like she carried a sadness with her that chained her to the ground. Sona usually avoided bringing up anything touching Mikasa's time as a human as much as possible. It was one of the reasons Sona had been so hesitant to talk to her today.

Yet the heiress would be lying if she said she wasn't interested in learning more about the woman who had been there for her entire life.

Torn between the desire to ask questions and the wish to spare the woman she loved the pain memories brought, Sona kept quiet.

Whatever Mikasa said, it would be by her own choice.

"We all knew he was on a time limit," Mikasa continued, watching the bird hop along the fence. "Yet I..."

The Pawn stopped.

The bird flew away.

"I never told him how I felt. Not till it was too late."

Sona had never heard Mikasa sound so small. So weak.

"Because he was going to die?"

"No."

The porcelain cracked, and Mikasa's blank face twisted. Warped into such a subtle yet profound example of grief and self-loathing that Sona had only seen the like once before.

On Eren, the day he told them about the woman he had loved and left behind.

"Because I was scared," Mikasa admitted. "I always wanted to, but the fear choked me. Even when he asked me what he meant to me, I could not say the words. I told myself we had time. Years. When I was older, when things were safer, I'd tell him. I'd be strong enough to tell him."

Mikasa's eyes met Sonas for the first time since her confession.

"There wasn't more time." Mikasa's voice cracked from the heartbreak. "We thought we had years. When he asked me what he meant to me, it was his last chance. He was out of time. I have never regretted anything more in my life than not being able to say 'I love you' that night."

Sona didn't know what to say, so she stayed silent.

Mikasa's tea cup was gently placed on the table as the Pawn walked around and sat beside Sona. She pulled the younger devil into a hug.

Sona let herself be held. Her aunt was always more conservative with physical affection, so these rare moments were always nice.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"That you are going through this," Mikasa said softly. Her own eyes were moist. "That I can't be more help. That you don't feel like you can talk to your sister or parents. I am sorry that your first love hurts. And I am sorry that I can't say it gets better. I learned to love my husband. Having Grisha and seeing him grow were some of my life's happiest moments. But the love and pain they never left me. Not a day didn't go by where I didn't wish for him back, for more time, or for things to be different."

An admittance of weakness from a woman Sona had always seen as a pillar of strength.

"Why can't things be simple," Sona asked in a small voice. Her own eyes were damp. "Why am I so weak? Why does he have to die?"

"Children shouldn't worry about life and death," Mikasa said softly, pretending not to feel the dampness on her clothes.

"We're devils," Sona shook her head as she pulled away. She surreptitiously wiped her eyes. "I learned how to drown a man when I was five. I killed my first Stray when I was ten. We grow up on stories of the Great War. Our racial hobby is a blood sport. Life and death are just a part of who we are."

"That doesn't make it right."

"Maybe," Sona said. "Fighting, killing, ruling. I am good at that. But it is love that I don't understand. That is complicated. What is the right thing to do? How do I make sure we are happy?"

"There is no perfect answer."

"Funny you should say that," Sona laughed lightly. Her voice hitched. "He said the same thing."

"Sounds like a smart boy," Mikasa smiled gently at her honorary niece. "But I am not surprised. Our Sona would only go for the smart ones."

Sona acknowledged the compliment for what it was but felt the need to correct her aunt, if only in her mind.

Eren wasn't really smart. He wasn't dumb by any means, but he wasn't the intellectual genius Sona had often imagined herself with when she was younger.

Eren was wise.

A wisdom born from experience rather than intelligence. Paid for with blood and pain.

Sona firmly believed in education. Her dream was to make it available to everyone. But she could admit that there had been a bias in her thoughts against those who were not educated.

Then, someone who had never finished elementary school had seen depths and implications in a light novel of all things. Something Sona had read herself yet had never given much thought.

That had been the moment.

When someone Sona had thought of as a 'student' taught her something. Eren ceased to be a 'test for future students' and had become an equal.

Maybe someone she could come to love.

"Can I ask you for another favour?" Sona asked.

Her aunt had helped clarify a few things in her mind. Sona, once she made a decision, was a girl of action.

"Anything."

"My newest member, Saji, is romantically interested in me," she explained.

This would be step one: wiping the board clean.

"I remember him. Your Pawn, right?

"I can't see him that way," Sona admitted. "I do not feel right engaging in such a relationship with my Peerage."

"Isn't that common for Kings?" Mikasa asked with a tilt of her head. Technically, the Pawn could start her own Peerage as she had her own Evil Pieces, but she had yet to see any point.

"For others," Sona nodded. "But I cannot be that way. I need to be a leader they can trust to make the best decisions for everyone. A relationship with one or more of them would, by necessity, mean I am partial to them over the others."

If the time ever came when Sona was forced to make a call to sacrifice the few for the many, or something equally as bad, she needed her Peerage to trust her to be fair and just. To not let her feelings blind her.

"You were always such a responsible girl," Mikasa said fondly. "What do you need me to do?"

"Talk to him," Sona said. "A few of my Peerage are interested in him, but his focus on me blinds him. I have already explained my position, but coming from someone else might help him understand."

"I am not good with... talking like that," Mikasa admitted, shuffling in the seat beside Sona. "Not with people I don't know."

"I know," Sona admitted.

Her aunt spent most of her time alone, and today had been one of the most prolonged conversations they had held together. Barring Serafall, whose conversations usually involved the Leviathan doing all the talking, Sona was not aware of anyone else who had spent a long time talking to the Pawn.

"I am sorry to ask it of you. But I recently saw how much an outside perspective can help in such matters."

Now, if only Issei and Asia would stop being so lovey-dovey in front of Sona, she'd appreciate it.

This would also give her aunt more time to socialize, even if Sona's Peerage was considerably younger than Mikasa.

Serafall and Sona had been struggling to get the Pawn more friends for years. Talking to Sona's Peerage could help her open up more.

If it worked with Eren, it could work with Mikasa, right?

Sona was taking a play out of Eren's book, manipulating others for them to find happiness when they wouldn't chase it themselves.

Sona was sick of seeing people holed up in the corner of a world waiting to die.

"Can you not go to someone else," Mikasa asked.

Sona just looked at her aunt with a raised brow.

If her liking a boy would bring trouble from her family (read: Sister), then someone liking Sona but her not returning the feelings would lead to a second Civil War.

Or an assassination of her newest Pawn by hypothermia.

"The only other person I would trust with such a conversation is... well, he is the one Saji is jealous of."

The idea of Eren giving Saji romantic advice, like he did with Issei, put a smile on Sona's face. She wouldn't do it, as it would just be mean-spirited, but the idea was amusing.

"Ah," Mikasa said lamely. "I see."

"So will you? Just a few minutes after training will be fine."

"I guess?"

"Thank you," Sona hugged her aunt tightly.

Mikasa sighed lightly before returning the hug.

Sona still needed to figure out if she would end up confessing to Eren but decided that it would depend on whether he accepted Rias' offer.

Mikasa's words did have an effect, though. They had solidified Sona's resolve.

Time was limited. Both Eren's and hers.

If she wanted to change the world, to force her dream into existence, she needed to move forward more confidently.

The Underworld could either keep up or be left behind.

********

And so begins part 3 of the story. As promised, I'll release on Sundays until I finish Rapturous Rhapsody.

I have had some questions/complaints/well-meaning threats about Mikasa's and Eren's eventual reunion. All I will say is I already have the rest of the story planned, and I want to explore both characters alone and together.

Also, this is a friendly reminder that this story is utterly epilogue-compliant with AOT. Yes, even the parts you don't like. I know the epilogue is one of the most controversial parts of AOT, as is the relationship between Mikasa and Eren. Still, my goal has always been for this story to be a continuation. Something I can read myself when I am done and go, 'Yep. This is cannon.'

If you've reached this chapter, you're halfway done. I hope you will stay with me until the end on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Feb 11, 2024

Eren had changed.

"Spread out your senses lightly, like stretching after a long nyaap."

Eren grunted but kept his focus despite her joke.

Kuroka took her own advice, stretching lazily out on the bench as her tails flicked idly behind her.

This thing was incredibly uncomfortable, but if it finally got Eren to slow down and relax a bit, Kuroka would put up with it.

That, and the uncomfortableness of the bench was contrasted by Eren letting her lay her head on his thighs. Her favorite position when they trained together.

Gaining power, being lazy, and spending time with the future father of her kittens, all while napping in the sun? This was as close to heaven as a reincarnated devil like her could get.

Now, she just needed Shirone to cuddle with, and everything would be perfect.

"There are... two magical beings still in town, not including familiars. Only one devil."

"Three. There are two devils, but one is trying to hide."

Eren tried to reach out to find the one he had missed, but she felt his energy waver.

Kuroka's ears flickered as she felt Eren's Senjutsu destabilize.

"You are working with a lot less Ki than you used to have," Kuroka chided gently, one of her tails bopping Eren's cheek gently as he grit his teeth in frustration at his most recent failure. "No need to cover the whole city, nyaa."

"I had it." Eren denied and Kuroka rolled her eyes playfully.

Ok, Eren hadn't changed that much. He was just as headstrong as she remembered.

But he had changed.

Did he notice?

"Why are you trying so hard to learn sensing," Kuroka asked as she summoned a clone to grab her a drink from the minifridge under the bench. "You said it wasn't needed, nyaa? And you already have a good grasp of the basics."

"It isn't," Eren sighed, and she felt his Ki calm as he ceased practicing, pulling the layer of Ki back into himself.

The clone also adjusted the covering so that the full glare of the sun wasn't hitting her face.

Really, she had to thank these devil girls. They made this little park the perfect place to be lazy. All she had to do was keep up the illusions on those pesky familiars, and Kuroka had the perfect little setup.

When she wasn't crashing at Eren's place anyway.

But that was no fun without him. Kruoka could only play games for so long before she needed to find someone to mess with. Half in hiding as she was, Kuroka lacked the usual selection of targets, so she would have to settle for Eren.

He had to make up for disappearing for a year anyway.

"Then why," Kuroka asked again, rolling onto her back so she was facing up.

Eren's hair was getting long again.

Kuroka was of two minds about that.

On one paw, Eren had great hair, and she loved to bat at it. It also made him look more mature.

On the other, when he cut it short, it emphasized the angles of his handsome face.

For now, Kuroka settled for idly twirling a finger through the strands that fell a few inches from her face.

He let her.

Eren had really changed.

"I have nothing else to do," Eren answered easily. "The only reason I didn't learn it before was because there is nothing to sense in the Path. I couldn't practice it like Senjutsu or Touki, so it wasn't worth the time invested in the real world. Now, I have that time."

Anyone else might have bought that excuse. It was in Eren's usual austere voice.

Not Kuroka.

Knowing him as well as she did, actively monitoring his Ki as she was, Kuroka could tell Eren was hiding something.

Was it worth giving up her comfortable position?

In the end, Kuroka's curiosity got the better of her.

Like it always did.

Sitting up, the nekoshou used her usual tactics against the Titan.

"Nyahahaha," Kuroka giggled, leaning into his body suggestively.

He didn't flinch. Eren was long inured to her lack of shame. Not even the breasts she was so proud of could make him so much as twitch. It certainly didn't help that he was covering his eyes with bandages.

Still, he had his weaknesses.

"Hey," she purred sensually in his ear, her breath warming his skin. "Tell me? Please?"

Eren recoiled in surprise, almost falling off the bench in a sudden and violent flinch.

Kuroka stared, wide-eyed, at the unexpected reaction.

Eren had been immune to her teasing for as long as she had known him. Even when she got physically close, close enough to make him uncomfortable, Eren remained largely unfazed and acquiesced to her whims to get her to stop more than anything else.

She could feel it bothering him, but he never showed any reaction. Kuroka had never been able to surprise Eren once in their entire time together.

Such was the price of trying to seduce a clairvoyant.

That reaction...

Kuroka's tails swirled in agitation, her eyes locked on to Eren hungrily as he righted himself and scowled at her.

"Don't do that again."

Kuroka was definitely doing that again.

"I won't if you tell me why you are so set on learning to sense now?"

Eren's scowl deepened for a second before he turned to face away.

"I made a mistake," he eventually said, his voice small.

"A mistake, nyaa?"

"When I first arrived... I didn't recognize someone."

"Who?" Kuroka asked with a furrowed brow.

Sure, Eren couldn't see through the bandages he used to cover his marks, and while he was on the bench, he couldn't use his powers to make up the difference, but he was no fool. Anybody who could pull one over on Eren Yeager had to be an absolute genius.

"...Sona."

He said it so quietly that Kuroka almost didn't hear him, and it took her a moment to place the name.

"Leviathan's sister, nyaa?" Kuroka asked in disbelief. "The Sitri Heiress? How did she trick you?"

"I... didn't know she was a devil initially," Eren said, still facing away from her. "She was using a fake name. And I had only checked on Rias because of Kone-Shirone, so I didn't recognize who she was right away."

The tips of his ears were red, and there was the slightest flush to his cheeks.

Eren was... embarrassed?

"How... how long did it take you to realize?" Kuroka asked, biting her lip between her teeth.

"..."

"What was that?" Even with her enhanced senses, Kuroka hadn't understood the words due to the low volume of Eren's voice.

"... a year."

Kuroka couldn't help it anymore.

"Nyahahahahahaha," she howled with laughter, falling over and rolling around clutching her sides in mirth, not caring that she was dirtying her kimono. She laughed and laughed and laughed as Eren's face darkened further with embarrassment and rage.

"It's not my fault," Eren tried to defend himself. "She didn't act like the devils I've met. And when Rias said she was a friend, I thought she was a contracted magician. Sona's that type. Only when I started learning to sense to replace my eyes did I find out she was a devil, and I only found out her real name a few weeks ago."

His embarrassed ramblings just kept Kuroka laughing and laughing, and eventually, Eren simply decided to stay quiet and let the cat girl get her mirth under control.

It took a while.

"Nyahaha," Kuroka giggled as she rose back to her feet, casting a spell to clean herself up as she retook her seat beside Eren on the bench. "Is that why you are so focused on sensing magic types? To be able to tell devils apart?"

"You know I am terrible at learning anything. Without cheating with the Path, I only got a vague sense of energy before," Eren nodded, his embarrassment fading into his normal world-weary tone. "I can tell you are more powerful than the other devils, and you have demonic energy instead of Light or regular magic, but that's it."

"Why couldn't you just check through the Path?" Kuroka asked.

Eren paused at the question, hesitating to answer.

Kuroka was the only being on earth whom Eren had confided with the true scope of his abilities.

Yes, he had absolute knowledge of the actual future in which he'd live, but he could also explore other possibilities. See the Paths he didn't take. He had sometimes used it to gain information that he shouldn't have by peering into timelines that never happened.

There was no reason he couldn't have just looked at a timeline where he asked the Sitri Heiress what she was or seen in the future where he would come to learn about her true identity.

It was one of the reasons Eren was so hard to trick. He was sharp, of course, but he could also know what future versions of himself would come to learn.

"I don't just lose my future sight while sitting on the bench," Eren eventually answered. "The part of my abilities that allows me to experience my whole life at once and see possibilities is hampered by this bench. I can't see it or anyone who I meet for the first time on it. They are... protected, I guess. I can't see them at all in my future. They are completely immune."

"I'm invisible, nyaa?"

"No. Just those I met for the first time while I was on the bench. It somehow inhibits my powers, which is transferred to those who sit with me. There is only one exception so far: he didn't sit on the bench when we first met. And even then, everything around the bench becomes fuzzier and fuzzier the closer it is in time and place to the bench. It's... disrupting me and nullifying me completely while I touch it. Like a... curse or something. I don't know the specifics."

Kuroka smiled. It was reassuring to see that despite the year apart, she was still the one he trusted the most. He answered almost every question she had without reservation.

The only exceptions were details about his past before his rebirth.

Kuroka didn't blame him.

Eren's condition meant that if he ever talked about his past, he would be experiencing those feelings all the time because he would be constantly reliving that memory in the past, present, and future.

Still, this gave her an idea. A hope.

"They can change your future?" Kuroka tried to be sly about the question, trying not to alert Eren to her intentions.

She should have known better.

"No. They can't," Eren denied instantly.

"But you can't see them."

"Just because they are invisible doesn't mean they aren't there. Even with this bench, my future and my memories have not changed. And they aren't the only ones that I don't see. Billions of people all contribute to the future in a billion ways. I cannot see all of that, even with the Path. I change one thing, and a million things change in other timelines. Even with infinite time, I am still just one man. I cannot see every future. I can say one thing for certain, though."

Eren sighed, his voice deadening further and further as he spoke until the exhaustion at the idea seemed to overwhelm him.

Then, in the same tone he had on the first day they had met, empty of all hope, joy, and will, Eren repeated his words to her.

"I will never have children."

Drat.

Still, Kuroka had learned more about the ability and discovered another avenue of weakness.

Before today, the biggest one had been the fact that Eren couldn't read minds. He could see actions, events, and consequences, but he had to be the one to piece together motivations if nobody told him. Cheating by looking into the possibilities didn't help if no version of Eren he looked for ever learned it.

And he had to actively look for it. He had infinite time to do so with the Path, but if he never had the idea or decided to look, he'd never learn something.

Therin lay her most significant advantage.

Kuroka would never, ever tell Eren she planned to go against him.

Not under torture. Not under threat.

She had long ago vowed that in no timeline would she ever betray Eren Yeager until she had the perfect plan, one hidden from his ability.

It was the only way for her goal, the future she wished for, to come true.

And she was close. So close.

Eren had changed.

More than Kuroka had ever dreamed of, Eren had changed.

Eren was embarrassed. He was angry. He was talking to people and making jokes.

Eren might not laugh or smile, but he was connecting to people. Even she, who had been with him the longest, and Vali, whom Eren had taken under his wing, had never been able to provoke half the emotions Kuroka had seen from the boy over the last few days.

For as long as she had known Eren, he had been... empty.

Driven to action, but not to will. A machine going through the motions, performing tasks without knowing why it did so.

Occasionally, very occasionally, his real emotions would peak through, usually in bursts of rage and violence, but they were always the exception that proved the rule.

Only now, on this bench, could Eren truly live.

"You never know, nyaa," Kuroka said playfully, cuddling back into Eren's side. Just because she couldn't access the Path to train didn't mean she wouldn't still curl up in her usual spot.

"I do," Eren denied, his voice unbending steel. "The Path is a bloodline. A connection between past, present and future to everyone who shares my genetics. If there was any Eldian in this world, now, in the past, or in the future, I would know about it. I'd be able to see what they see. I'd live every second of their life just as I do my own. But there is no one connected to me. No one before or after. The Path of this world was born and will die with me."

As if Kuroka would let that happen.

Eren Yeager did not get to die. Not until he had lived a long, happy life.

With her, specifically.

And Shirone.

And a few dozen kittens, interspersed over their millennia of life.

It would take a lot of practice, but Kuroka didn't mind. Devil fertility rates were notoriously terrible.

Right now, it was just a waiting game. After Eren fulfilled that promise he had made all those years ago, after everything he predicted came true, Kuroka could put her own plan into motion.

For now, she'd enjoy spending a cozy summer with the man she loved.

The other devils would be back at the end of summer, and she'd have to be more subtle then, lest their scary siblings find out where she was and go cat hunting.

Really, they were such Sis-cons that even the higher-ups in Khaos Brigade knew it. It was why Kokabiel had targeted them in the first place.

Kuroka shook her head. Her thoughts had been idling for long enough that she almost fell into another nap.

Curse Eren and his comfortable lap.

Kuroka had Eren Yeager all to herself right now, and he was more open than ever before. If she didn't take advantage, she'd forever regret it.

Kuroka could be lazy and procrastinate later.

"Tell me about yourself, nyaa," the Black Cat said lazily. Ok, she could procrastinate later.

"...What do you mean?"

"Anything, nyaaaaaah," Kuroka yawned. "About your past? Your world? Your friends? I just want to know."

"I..." Eren paused. "I don't know. What should I say? Looking back, there is so much and so little. It's all... tainted. By pain. By what happened later."

"Tell me about good times," Kuroka said softly. "When you were happy."

"When I was happy?" Eren asked as if wondering when such a time was.

"What were you like as a kid?" Kuroka prompted. Then, just for emphasis, she took his empty hand and placed it on her head. It was just to provide Eren with some physical comfort and not because it felt good. Really. "You must have some good memories."

Slowly, hesitantly, Eren started to move his hand.

"I do," he admitted.

"So tell me about them."

"I... suppose." Eren was quiet for a long moment as if deciding what to talk about. "I was a terrible child."

"Hmm?"

"I was," Eren nodded. "Always getting into fights. Being lazy whenever I could get away with it. And I never knew when to keep my mouth shut. I still don't."

Kuroka wouldn't say that. Before Eren had left, getting information from him that wasn't instructions was like pulling teeth.

"My mom was always scolding me, patching me up, or apologizing on my behalf. My dad... He never got mad." Eren paused again. "Looking back, I realize he was trying to let me be myself. To not impose his way of life on me. To make up for his mistake with his first kid. He didn't want anything special from me. He just wanted me to be happy."

"The brother you told Shironyaa about?"

"Yes. My dad was... terrible to him. I love my dad, but he made mistakes." Eren shook his head. "Not as much as me, though. He was a better man. He let go of his hatred. Even when my mom... even then. He would have let them go."

There was another pause. Eren stopped petting her ears, so Kuroka shifted them back to happier topics.

"What about Armin?"

"Armin?" Eren blinked, coming back to the present. "Oh, right. I told you about him."

"Did you not want to?"

"No," Eren shook his head. "It's just I think that was the first time I ever said his name. Hearing it from you was unexpected."

"Why?" Kuroka wasn't surprised that he hadn't said Armin's name in his life. If he wouldn't tell her, who would he tell?

"Talking about him and... Talking about any of my past is hard, but those two... They're different. Even when the whole world was against me, when I declared war on the whole world and got one of our friends killed, they still would have sided with me. Not because I was the choice that saved them or gave them power, but just because it was me. They would have turned against the whole world for me. I had to do some... I had to give them motivation to not join me."

As always, hearing Eren mention, if even obliquely, to the woman he had loved sent a pang of jealousy down Kuroka's back, and her tails waved in her agitation.

Best to lead him back to happier thoughts again.

"How'd you meet Armin, nyaa?"

"He was being bullied," Eren shrugged. "I must have seen him get beat up a half dozen times. But no matter what they did to him, he never fought back. Not once. I wanted to know why. Was he just a coward?"

Eren's voice took on a quality, a note of nostalgia? Whistfullness? Fondness?

"He wasn't. Armin was the bravest, best of us all. The entire time they were hitting him, he was fighting a different war. One to be better. If he threw a punch, he'd lose that war. I admired that about him, but I wasn't him. If Armin wouldn't fight back, I would."

"That's how you'd get into fights?" Kuroka grinned, imagining a chibi Eren standing up for an imaginary child. "You were defending your friend? How cute."

"I lost," Eren shook his head wryly. "I'd see them ganging up on him because he wouldn't fight back, charge in without thought, and get beat for my trouble. If it wasn't for... Anyway, it was always the three of us. Before, and after... That Day."

Eren took on a more pensive, whistful tone.

"I don't think I would have made it through those two years after... after my parents, if not for those two. I know for sure I wouldn't have made it through training, or even my first mission, without them. That's how it would usually go. I'd mess things up, and they'd fix it. I was a terrible child. An awful friend."

Kuroka idly wondered how much the 'Child of Evil' moniker Eren had gained had affected him.

Then she shook off the thought and, once more, steered Eren away from his blue mood.

Eren wasn't making this easy, but Satans damn it, she was going to make him happy.

"Tell me about your training," Kuroka prompted. "What was it like?"

"Hard," Eren said instantly. "Increadibly difficult. A third dropped out in the first week. Another third never finished. They either dropped out, were kicked out, were too injured to continue, or died." Despite his words, there was pride in his spirit. "But... they were good times. The world was simple. You train. You get better. Every drop of sweat or blood you shed in training was so you had that tiniest chance do not die later."

Eren shook his head as if in disbelief at his younger self.

"We were so young. So dumb. We had no idea what the world was truly like. But the 104th... they were comrades. Friends. A replacement for the families we had lost. After three years together, our bonds were strong. Unbreakable. Or I thought so, at least."

Having learned her lesson from last time, Kuroka didn't give Eren time to descend into melancholy.

"This was your military symbol, right?" She asked, tapping his cane.

"One of them," Eren nodded. "There were three divisions, each with roles and their own symbol. The top ten in training got to choose which of the three to join, but everyone else was assigned their position. People trained harder to get to choose a cushier position."

"Were you in the top ten?"

"Number five," Eren nodded. Kuroka had trouble imagining four people better than Eren at anything physical but understood he hadn't always had his current abilities. "The position didn't really matter for me, though. I had always planned on joining the Survey Corps. They had the highest mortality rate and were the most desperate for volunteers, so anyone could choose them. Even if I didn't reach the top ten, I still would have joined them. I didn't train hard for the position. I just wanted to get better. To be able to kill more, to be free. And the Survey Corps represented that to me."

Eren ran his fingers across the hilt of his cane, feeling the carved wood.

"This symbol means to always to always go forward. To fight rather than die in a cage. To fight for hope, for a better future. For humanity. For a world where we didn't have to live in fear. If I was going to dedicate my heart to anything, it would be to the Wings of Freedom." Eren's fingers trailed across the two wings set into the handle. "Thank you for this."

"I didn't manage to surprise you, nyaa," Kuroka pretended to pout. "You found out immediately when I started making it. You are the one who told me how to carve the handle. You cheated."

"You decided to make it, not me. Just because I see the future doesn't mean your choices are any less yours," Eren shook his head. "Everyone makes that mistake. Even if I could control people, I wouldn't. Just because I've lived the future doesn't mean people don't affect it. They do. They are still free. They are still making the choices. I just see the result."

"You're cheating," Kuroka summarized plainly.

"If you want to think that way," Eren allowed. Then he paused, hand resting in petting her. "That first day, when we met, I already knew you'd give me this cane one day. That doesn't mean your feelings or choices mean any less to me. So, thank you, Kuroka. It is the best gift I've received in a very, very long time."

Kuroka felt her face flush at the softness in Eren's voice. She had never heard him speak like that before.

Kuroka knew, at that moment, that Eren wasn't just speaking of the cane but of all their time together.

It was as close to a confession as she had ever heard from Eren.

"You're welcome," Kuroka's voice was just as soft as she nuzzled deeper into his lap.

Eren had changed.

Kuroka hoped he could continue to change.

The two spent the rest of the day together in quiet companionship. In the end, Kuroka succeeded in making the day a good one, even if Eren didn't make it easy.

At some point, the two lazy lovers slipped into a doze and passed the day napping away on the bench.

********

Before anything else, I want to touch on one of the most common complaints I saw after the last chapter. The fact that neither Mikasa nor Sona brought up Eren's name potentially revealed to the others they were speaking about the same person. I've already explained Sona's rationale in the story, one that fits her character to a T, so I won't go over that again. As for Mikasa, let me ask any of my readers this:

Does anyone who has watched/read Attack on Titan expect Mikasa Ackerman to volunteer information more than the bare minimum to get her point across? I already thought I was making her more chatty than she should be in the last chapter, and only because she is a fully grown woman trying to teach someone she sees as an almost daughter.

Make no mistake: Mikasa reuniting with Eren is a foregone conclusion, and nobody is more excited than I am for when that happens. But it will happen naturally. Not artificially lengthed or shortened, but when I feel it comes up organically.

That's my piece on the subject. Everything else you will need to learn through reading the story.

As for this chapter, one of the most misunderstood parts of AOT, at least in my opinion, is the idea that all the suffering and hardship is meaningless because Eren could have just mind-wammied everyone. It would fundamentally go against his character if he did that, as committed as he is to freedom. Not only could he touch the memories of the People of Ymir, but The only memories he actively manipulated were his own; the only other exception was the messages he left for others after he died.

Everything else was him using the Attack Titan's power or only targeting Pure Titans. Not once did he use the Founder to control anyone, even when it could have saved the lives of people he cared about, such as Sasha. If he did so, it would go against everything that made 'Eren Yeager' who he was, good or bad.

Once again, another week has passed. Another chapter released, another step forward. I will meet you all, next week, on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Feb 18, 2024

Rias was surrounded.

In enemy territory, with no allies to call upon, she faced her foes alone, armed with only her wits and will.

It wouldn't be wrong to say Rias was fighting for her very life.

But she would not back down.

She would fight and die on this hill if that was to be her fate, and she would do it with pride.

"Gurren Lagann is the peak of Mecha anime!"

"Rias, Rias, Rias," Seekvaira Agares shook her head as if looking at something pitiful. Her every movement was graceful, as expected of the heir of an archduke.

Backed up by her Peerage, she was the epitome of a young noble devil.

She was also completely wrong.

"The beauty of Mecha comes from the details," Seek-chan pontificated. "From their feasibility. The mechanics of their creation. The stats, the gear, and the possibility of one-day building and piloting one yourself. An absurdist rendition of Mecha cannot properly accentuate the majesty of the genre. You lose the gravity, the majesty, the weight. When something becomes too unbelievable, you lose perspective. That is to say, Gundam is better… Macross is also an acceptable answer."

The Peerage surrounding her nodded in agreement with their King's words.

Rias scowled. After not seeing her for over a year, she had come to talk to her friend, and they had devolved into a familiar argument. She didn't even have Akeno to back her up, as her Queen was talking with Sairaorg's Queen.

She would have to win this battle on her own.

"We are devils!" Rias argued back passionately. "The struggle to survive as a race! The chase for power! Gurren Lagann speaks to us on a level no other Mecha does. Should we not grow until we stand astride the universe, 10.45 trillion light years tall? Our power must become the drill that will pierce Heaven!"

So in awe was everyone around Rias (in her mind) that they could not mount a counterargument without careful thought.

"I always thought Evangelion was the best Mecha anime."

Silence.

Dead silence.

Like broken dolls, all heads slowly turned to look at the speaker.

One of Seek-chan's Peerage, one Rias didn't recognize, flushed under the attention.

"What," he squeaked in a quiet voice, his nerves failing him.

"My apologies, Lady Rias," Alivian, Seekvaira's Queen, said as he bowed regretfully. "He is a newly reincarnated Pawn. He is young and foolish and does not know of what he speaks."

"Hey!"

"I have been remiss in his education," Seekvaira sighed, giving Rias a nod of apology as well. "Trust me, when the gathering is over, I shall spend some time… re-educating him on what constitutes proper Mecha."

"See that you do," Rias nodded imperiously. "Maybe you will finally gain a Peer with true knowledge and appreciation for the genre."

Seek-chan's eyes narrowed, but she didn't argue further. Her Peerage was the one to make such a calamitous blunder.

Really, Evangelion. As peak Mecha? That was like saying Naruto was peak Shonen.

...Ok, that was an exaggeration, but still.

Rias enjoyed both Evangelion and Naruto, more so the former, but some standards needed to be upheld.

They may be devils, but they weren't barbarians.

"We shall continue this conversation at a later date," the Agares Heiress said primly. "It was good to speak with you again, Rias."

"You too, Seek-chan."

Rias walked away with her head held high, her victory accomplished.

Sometimes, an incompetent ally was worse than any competent enemy.

At no point did Rias self-reflect that all her friends, baring those that were part of her family, were those she had somehow cajoled (read: badgered) into engaging with her hobby.

Seeing as she had a few more minutes before they would be called, Rias looked around the waiting room for the Young Devil Gathering. Most of those gathered remained within their Peerages, talking in almost hushed whispers and shooting concerned glances around the room.

Rias received more than a few fearful glances herself, but she bore them with the grace of a lady.

Rias could understand their concerns. Not only were they going to be presented in front of the Lords and Ladies of the remaining 31 Pillar Families and the Four Satans as was standard for these bi-centennial events, but this was a precursor to the first time representatives of foreign factions had also been invited to watch.

The Peace Treaty was only a few months old, and it was already having a significant impact on their lives.

There would be Gods at their debut Rating Games to judge them as they declared their goals for the future.

Being nervous was expected.

So why was Rias... not?

Oh, there was some apprehension. Rias was going to declare her dream in front of her peers and her family, including her brother.

But... that was it.

Maybe it was because, unlike everyone else here, her dream was simple. Small. Selfish.

At the end of the day, whether she received the approval or disdain of the attendees was irrelevant.

Rias would accomplish her dream.

... Man, she sounded like an anime protagonist.

She should totally say that during one of their training sessions when the camera was rolling. It would be a great moment in the montage she'd show her children one day.

Lost in thought of crimson-haired children, all sitting with her as they watched her 'epic journey' together, Rias almost flinched when a voice called her.

"Rias," Sairaorg interrupted her thoughts, his towering form almost bursting from his perfectly tailored outfit with his every move. "I liked what you did earlier."

"Cousin," Rias greeted warmly. Though he had been banished from his family because he lacked the Power of Destruction, a power she had inherited, their relationship had remained strong. "And it was nothing. A trick from a friend."

"I hope you have more tricks. I hope to see all of them when we fight."

"You want to fight everyone," Rias laughed lightly, not taking his bluntness as an insult. "It seems like I am doomed to always be surrounded by battle maniacs. I shall introduce you to the White Dragon Emperor if I have the chance."

"I'll look forward to it," Sairaorg grinned, but his eyes narrowed. "I do want to fight everyone in this room, but only two fights have me excited. The Red Dragon Emperor. And you."

Rias didn't know how to take that.

"You're in luck then," she deflected. "You only need one Rating Game for both of us. If Issei doesn't beat you first, I'll have to fight you."

The Bael didn't say anything for a second; then his eyes widened, as did his grin.

"You haven't realized," he laughed.

"Realized what?" Rias asked, furrowing her brow.

"Let me be the first to congratulate you then." Sairaorg's grin was as amused as it was proud. "The number of devils who made Ultimate class in power, if not in status, at your age can be counted on one's hands. That there are two at this generation's gathering might be a record."

"What?" Rias asked, the words not making sense to her for a long moment. "I'm not Ultimate class."

"You are," Sairaog's smile was definitely one of humour now. "Barely, but you are. It must have been recently, too."

That couldn't be right.

Surely Rias would have noticed an increase in power... no.

She had noticed her power increasing, but it had steadily been growing since she had started training whenever she had the chance.

And hadn't it been increasing faster now that she had more partners to work with?

Whether it was Issei transferring her power so she could work on control with more significant reserves, Akeno's Holy Lightning being a great counter to her Power of Destruction, or even just Asia healing her so she could get back to training faster.

It would make sense that the rate would pick up with all the extra options she had.

And didn't she have more motivation than ever? Yes, the Phenex situation had been handled, but Eren's deadline drew ever closer, and Kokabiel had shown them just how far they needed to go.

Devils were creatures of desire. While those desires lead most of them to squander their potential, they also gave devils one of the most significant growth potentials of all supernatural species when properly channelled.

Rias had been channelling her desire to save her friend for almost a year to grow stronger. She had faced down not only a fully grown devil, one who had outclassed her in every respect, but had also fought for her life against one of the oldest enemies of her race.

Kokabiel had killed some of the original 72 demons, and yet Rias had fought him and lived. Hells, she had wounded him.

Rias had also spent the last few weeks non-stop training with her mother in the finer points of her power. The original Ruin Princess was an Ultimate class devil, stronger than many of her brothers' Peerage and even her father.

With all those factors together, it was possible, if unlikely, that her internal reserves had crossed the bare minimum to be considered Ultimate class.

Unlike other classes of devils, there was no upper limit on Ultimate class, but there was definitely a floor. The basic of basic metrics were internal reserves of power, though combat ability was also a factor when officially acknowledged as one and given the corresponding rank.

It wasn't rare for a devil to have the reserves of an Ultimate class being but be unable to use it in such a way to prove they deserved the promotion.

Theoretically, now that she had crossed the threshold, Rias could go to a specialized facility to be tested to see if she deserved to be called an Ultimate class devil.

She wouldn't, though. At least not yet.

For one, Rias didn't feel confident she could fight well enough to deserve the rank. For another, she had never sought the promotion to Princess, Dutchess, or Archduchess that came with the rank.

No. As always, Rias Gremory's motivation had been purely selfish.

But she had done it.

She now had the bare minimum of qualifications to offer Eren a place within her Peerage.

And she would.

Once she returned to the human world, Rias would make the offer.

She'd explain the supernatural, who she really was, and what she was offering. She'd promise Eren anything, so long as he accepted.

Eren would say no.

Rias knew that.

But it would be out in the open. Rias wouldn't need to hide the truth of what she was from him anymore and could work on changing his mind.

It didn't matter if Eren turned her down a thousand times.

He just had to say yes once.

All the while, Rias would keep training. Just because she had the bare minimum to make the offer didn't mean she was guaranteed to be strong enough to reincarnate him. She'd train every day until Eren was safely her Pawn.

Then...

"That's a good look in your eye, cousin," Sairaorg's rumbling voice tore Rias from her plans. His smile was no longer one of mirth but of hunger. Like a beast spotting its prey. "I am really looking forward to fighting you now."

"I can't say the same," Rias shook her head. Now wasn't the time or place to get lost in thought. "I did not miss that you said there were TWO Ultimate class devils here. And how did you sense my power so clearly when I couldn't even tell?" Sairaorg's smile was all teeth, but Rias didn't need him to answer. "You achieved Touki, didn't you?"

Touki was not Senjutsu, though the latter usually meant the former. Touki was just the complete control, awareness, and ability to use one's Ki. That perfect awareness of 'self' was known to have a multiplicative effect on the physical and magical senses, even if it didn't grant a true Sage's almost omnipresent sensing ability.

To have sensed something that even Rias hadn't, Sairaorg had to have achieved his goal.

The laugh that escaped the older devil drew all the attention in the room to the pair, loud and boisterous as it was.

Rias put her plans for Eren aside for the moment and allowed herself to feel pride in her cousin's almost unheard-of achievement.

Like Sairaorg had said, they weren't unique in achieving their rank at their age, even if it wasn't official yet and was rare.

What might very well be unique was someone achieving that without the bloodline advantages the Pillars enjoyed.

Rias had the Power of Destruction, had been born with prodigious reserves, trained regularly for years, and over the last year, had dedicated almost her entire life to crossing that threshold.

She had barely crossed it.

Sairaorg Bael had none of that.

His magical reserves were decent for a High-class devil, but that was it. He had no bloodline ability. And he had no support from his family after his 'disability' was discovered.

Everything he had achieved was through pure effort, willpower, and training.

And it was all physical.

He didn't have the luxury Rias did. He could not train and enjoy his hobbies at the same time. It was a grind, day in and day out, all on the slim chance to prove the world wrong.

And he had done it.

After experiencing a fraction of the effort her cousin must have gone through, Rias felt her respect for him skyrocket.

The pair might not be the first Young Devils to reach Ultimate class, but Sairaorg might be the very first to do so through physical training. Their race was simply more predisposed to magical training than physical. He was undoubtedly the very first to do so with Touki, an ability only a handful of devils had ever attained.

What a monster.

"Not just stronger," the older devil grinned down at her like a lion, uncaring that the gazels watched them. "You've gotten sharper. Is this what they call 'real experience?' I should try it."

"No," Rias denied. "I just have good friends. Don't go challenging cardinals because you want to experience it."

"Probably for the best," Sairaorg sighed, not even denying that he had been thinking of it. "We are at peace now. I hope the Khaos Brigade attacks me at some point. Maybe the White Dragon Emperor."

"Careful what you wish for," Rias cautioned the man, a shiver of fear running down her back. "Some of their members will wipe the floor with us, Ultimate class or not."

It was only luck that Black Cat Kuroka hadn't actually planned to catnap Koneko, or Rias wasn't sure they could have stopped her.

Grayfia could probably have beaten her, maybe, but stopping the Stray Devil from catnapping Rias' cute Rook would have been almost impossible with Kuroka's use of magic, Youjutsu, and Senjutsu. That was how absurdly dangerous Yokai got as their tails increased in number.

The power wasn't additive; it was multiplicative.

"Then I'll work my way up the ladder," Sairaorg, far from being deterred, looked even more excited. "Sharpen my fangs on the legs until I'm ready to bite the head off."

Before Rias could caution him some more, the door to the waiting hall opened, and a servant let them know they were being called to enter.

The cousins shared a nod as they rejoined their own Peerages for the journey.

It didn't take long for the six young devils, attended by their Peerages, to be standing in front of the gathered Lords and Ladies of the Underworld.

It was a layered seating arrangement in the amphitheatre, with the four Satans sitting at the peak and the dozens of devils and guests in rows below looking down on the stage. It was a placement designed to evoke a feeling of being looked down on and judged.

Like their worth was to be determined.

Already, there were murmurs and whispers around from the gallery that surveyed the groups.

More than a few were about Rias and her Peerage.

Far from feeling intimidated, Rias felt her will firm.

"Welcome," Sirzechs Lucifer, the highest ranking person there, warmly greeted the young men and women. Rias caught his eye for the briefest of moments and saw the pride in them. Would he still be proud in a few minutes? "In order to check the faces of you all, who will carry the burden of the next generation, we have gathered here."

Serafall was much less subtle in her acknowledgement of her sister, waving around a small blue flag that said, 'So-tan is the best!' Aunty Mikasa, the Leviathan's plus one, stood blank-faced behind her King as Sona flushed in embarrassment.

Despite having extended family members among the group, the other two Satans were much less invested.

Lord Beelzebub held a red vial in his hand, magic circles swirling around it as he ignored the world around him in favour of his research.

Lord Asmodeus was asleep.

"I admit," her bother chuckled as he looked over the group. "I expected some of you to come to blows while you were waiting. It is almost a tradition. That you didn't speaks well of this generation's wisdom."

Rias kept her back straight as Akeno giggled beside her, and the other young devils shot her looks.

It wasn't her fault Zephyrdol was making an ass out of himself to Seek-chan. The new Glaysa-Labolas heir should be thankful Rias had been the one to step in instead of Sairaorg.

It also gave Rias a great excuse to put her Eren Voice (TM) to practice.

Rias wondered if everyone in this room had been secretly watching the ante-chamber and knew what she did? If so, then her brother's words were no doubt a subtle way to raise her position in the eyes of those gathered.

... Was Sairaorg right? A year ago, Rias doubted she would have caught on to such a subtle political play. Did spending so much time with Sona and Eren, as well as her focus on minimal details in training, make her sharper?

A part of Rias chafed that, even now, her older brother was not letting her stand on her own.

Another part felt his warm concern and knew she was increadibly lucky to have someone looking out for her. Others lacked such family.

Rias stood, back straight, as she contemplated these questions. Around her, the ceremony continued, and eventually, they got to the part where the young devils were called to proclaim their dreams.

"My dream is to become a Satan."

Sairaorg's proclamation, the first to speak after Sirzechs had asked, had already sent the room into a tizzy. To declare such an ambition so plainly and without reservation was admirable.

There was also a layer of scandal behind the words.

No devil of the Great King family, the Bael, had ever given up the name willingly, even to become a Satan.

Sairaorg's story was well known, from member to exile to heir. To give up the title he had fought to achieve was a slap in the face to the Bael. It was a declaration that they were lesser.

How juicy.

"I shall become a Satan when the Underworld feels there is no choice but for me to become one."

Rias knew Sairaorg's statement alone would fuel the elite's rumour mills and gossip halls for the next few years.

Yet, in this gathering of young devils, his proclamation of grand ambition was destined to come in third place.

"My dream is to build a school."

Sona stood in front of the gathering of the Underworld, back straight and eyes narrowed, as she looked over the hall.

Like she wasn't the one being judged, but they were.

There were some murmurs around the crowd, then one Lord called out.

"What type of school?"

"A school for everything and everyone. Magic. Rating Games. Our race's culture and history. That of other races as well. Math. Science. Language. Every subject that can be taught will be taught."

"So, just a regular school," the same Lord sighed derisively. "There is already an academy for Rating Games and others for magic."

"That admit only High-class devils," Sona rejoined, not deterred in the slightest. "My school shall for everything and everyone. High class and Low class. Devil and Angel. Human or Yokai. Strong or weak. Healthy or crippled. So long as they wish to learn, my school will be there to teach. That is my dream."

There was a beat of silence.

Then laughter.

"""Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"""

"That's impossible!"

"This is just brilliant!"

"I see! So you're a little girl who dreams big!"

"It's good to be young! However, for the next head of the Sitri family to state such a dream, I have to say thank goodness that it was here at this introduction before your debut."

Sona Sitri bore the laughter and the mockery with a straight back.

The sneers and the jeers. Even as her Peerage shuffled in agitation, prepared to defend their King as they glared back up the gathered devils. Aunty Mikasa held her King back as the Levithan frothed at the mouth to get to the fools laughing at her darling sister.

No matter what, Sona Sitri stood firm.

Then, when there was a lull in the derision heaped on her from the crowd, she spoke.

Her voice was not louder than before, nor was it agitated or hurried. It was the same cool, measured tone as ever.

"I do dream big. I dream a dream so big that the whole world will look at my dream in envy. I take pride in my dream. I am dedicating my entire heart to my dream. If you cannot say the same, if you claim my dream is impossible, that just means your dreams, your ambitions, are too small."

Silence.

Absolute silence.

Sona was not the strongest of the young men and women here.

She wasn't the most well-known or talented. In a society that valued power, she was middling at best among High-class devils in terms of potential.

Yet, in this record-breaking Young Devil Gathering, the Sitri Heiress' dream and her challenge sealed her position as the greatest of the Young Devils to watch.

Rias stared at her friend in wonder, not believing what Sona had just done.

While Sona had a stubborn streak, she was also a cautious individual. Even better than Rias, she knew how much politics would play in achieving her dream.

These were the movers and shakers of the Underworld. Getting them on her side would be paramount to achieving her dream. If she failed, if she made enemies of them, it would become all but impossible.

And Sona had just insulted them all.

"The world has changed," Sona declared into the silence. "We are at peace. No longer will killing our enemies until we are all that is left be possible. We will disappoint our ancestors if we remain chained to old traditions and do not exploit the opportunity before us. We must win through other means. My dream shall be a stepping stone towards something no devil has ever attained. Permanence. An institution that shall outlast everything else. You can laugh. You can fight. You might even kill me. But you cannot kill an idea. My school, my dream, will come true. You can either join us or be left behind."

Sona stepped back, rejoining her Peerage as they beamed around the room in pride.

More silence.

Someone clapped.

It was not Serafall Leviathan.

All eyes landed on Zekram Bael as he slowly brought his hands together.

"Now that is a dream befitting a devil."

Unsurprisingly, Serafall Leviathan was the first to break the silence of the Great King's declaration.

"WHHOOOOOO!!!" The satan hollered, waving her flag energetically. "Go So-tan, go So-tan, go So-tan."

Behind her, Mikasa beamed down at her honorary niece in pride. Though you could only tell if you knew her since her face barely changed.

The other Satans, even Beelzebub and Asmodeus, who had woken up, also clapped.

With pressure from above, both the New Satan and Great King factions were forced to join in the applause.

Some genuinely, but many didn't look happy.

"Um," Ise whispered behind Rias. "What just happened?"

"I'll explain later," Akeno whispered back.

Rias didn't blame her Rook for not getting it. She wouldn't have either if she didn't know Sona so well.

As it was, Rias barely believed Sona was making such a bold move.

Sairaorg declared that he'd become a Satan when the population of the Underworld decided there was no choice BUT to make him one.

In contrast, Sona had skipped over the process entirely and forced the gathering of Lords and Ladies to support her dream.

She declared peace with the other factions had not stopped the Great War with their historic enemies. Just shifted the type of war fought. Devils were no longer in a hot war but a cold one.

A culture war.

And Sona had put her dream, her school, at the forefront of that supposed conflict.

If her school did become what she wanted it to be, the greatest the world had ever seen, it could influence every other faction through their education, slanting things in favour of devils.

A way to win a war while adhering to a peace treaty many old devils disagreed with. Money, power, and fame would all come flowing into the hands of the side that won.

It also would help answer the problem the Pillars were having with reincarnated devils, as they, too, would be influenced by Sona's propaganda.

Sona had called out everyone who didn't support her dream as unambitious, stupid, and a hindrance to devil society.

Either they supported her, or they would get no benefit from her school. Worse, they would be making enemies of those who stood to benefit and supported her dream.

It was an incredibly deft political movement, turning Sona's dream from a far-fetched goal of a young devil to one that needed to be accomplished by devil kind to win this new war.

If that had indeed been Sona's goal, it would have been a raging success.

It wasn't.

Rias knew her childhood friend, her rival.

Knew her beliefs, abilities, and dreams.

Sona would never turn her school into a center for devil propaganda.

She would undoubtedly teach the devil's history and culture, but she would make things as objective as possible. There would be no slanting, no brainwashing, and no winning a culture war.

Sona's dream was just a school that taught everything to anyone willing to learn.

While her declaration of her dream had garnered her the support she'd need to get started, once those supporters learned she wouldn't be teaching reincarnated devils, angels, fallen angels, or anyone else attending how great they were, those supporters would turn into enemies.

Sona was betting on herself.

She was betting on being successful enough, influential enough, and her school being ingrained enough by the time that realization hit that her dream would not doom her.

If Sona failed, if her dream school never reached the heights she desired, she'd lose it all.

The people who knew her realized this. The Satans knew this. The Great King knew this.

More than that, she had to prove she had the ability to back up such a radical dream. Everyone would be watching her now, looking for even the slightest sign of weakness. If Sona faltered, even once, she'd fail.

Sona had gained support, but she was more alone than ever. It was all up to her now.

Truly, a dream befitting a devil.

For the first time in her life, as she joined in the applause, Rias compared herself to her rival and felt... small.

Selfish.

Petty.

And... Rias was all right with that, she realized.

Rias was all right with her small, selfish, petty, dream.

Rias Gremory was not the type of girl who dreamed of changing the world or reshaping society.

Rias was perfectly happy with her family, Peerage, hobbies, and tiny, selfish wishes.

She was content to support those with big dreams.

Whether it was helping Sona with her school, subtly nudging things to help Issei build his harem, scouting venues for Yuuto's bakery, or any number of other ways to make her life, and theirs, just a teeny-tiny bit better.

So, after the applause died down, and it was time for the other four young devils to declare their dreams, Rias felt none of the nervousness the others felt when she stepped forward.

Rias wasn't worried about being upstaged or being found wanting. She wasn't trying to become a Satan. She wasn't promising to change Underworld culture forever.

'Rias Gremory' was simply Rias, and that was enough.

"I don't have a dream." Rias declared boldly to the room. She didn't shout the words. She stated them. They were fact. "I have a promise."

The room stirred. Already, this gathering had turned out very different than any before it. This generation of Young Devils was one for the history books.

What new surprise was this going to be?

Those expecting some grand proclamation of ambition were disappointed with Rias in the coming weeks.

Those who understood her deeper meaning knew that her promise, her small selfish promise, was only behind Sona's in terms of difficulty.

"We will be free."

'We' not 'I.'

Free to chase their dreams.

Free to be who they wanted to be.

Free from fear, pain, loneliness, and sadness.

Free to live in a world where children were not abused, turned into soldiers, or cursed for being born.

Free to live.

A dream, a promise, not for herself but for her friends and family. For those who supported her, she'd support in turn.

A declaration unbefitting a devil, yet perhaps the most devilish wish of all.

"And we will destroy all who try to take that freedom from us."

********

I've had this scene in my head since the start of this fic. In my opinion, the Youth Devil Gathering was one of the most significant missed opportunities of DxD. A chance to really cement some characters as more than 'waifu bait.'

Instead of declaring an ambition that would show how much she's grown since the start of the series, Rias declares she's going to be 'Rating game champ,' which she has never even mentioned before now. Sona is both better and worse. Her dream is better, but it also doesn't go anywhere. The school she wanted to build never went about, and far from upending devil society as promised, she went on to become the head of the house, giving up practically everything.

That entire situation was more about setting a tournament arc and introducing rivals to Issei, like Saji and Sairaorg, than it was about any growth in story or characters.

Well, in this story, Eren, and to a lesser extent Mikasa, have had an effect. One that is both obvious and subtle. Rias still wants to win rating games, of course, but that has become tangential. A byproduct of what she sees as her true dream. From the beginning, being free to live as 'Rias' is a central theme of her character, and aiding her friends in having that same freedom, along with herself, I feel is a dream much more befitting her. Everything else will come with that purpose.

Part 3 is all about a turning point, a hinge on which the characters, the story, and the world change. Not necessarily the source but the result. This chapter, plus the next three planned, are some of the most exciting I've been to write.

I will be waiting for you all next week on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Feb 25, 2024

"Why?"

Eren stirred from his nap, his head leaving Kuroka's shoulder to sit up straight on the bench. He had been awake for a few minutes, just laying there lazily. Otherwise, she would have let him rest longer.

With summer drawing to a close soon, and with it the return of the Shirone's Peerage, Kuroka could no longer delay the question. One that she thought could go without asking but continued to torment her as the days passed.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you leave, nyaa?"

"... I told you. I found this bench when I checked on Shirone."

"I don't mean why did you stay here, nyaa," Kuroka clarified, hand running through his long hair. "I understand that your powers... I understand wanting some peace. But why did you not tell us where you were?"

Why hadn't he told her?

Throughout the entire summer, Kuroka had repeatedly asked herself the question.

Early on, when he had first disappeared, she had entertained the possibility that Eren had decided to betray both the Brigade and her, abandoning them as his 'death' drew closer. She had feared he had gone off to die alone in some forgotten corner of the world.

Vali telling her of Eren's location and his continued commitment to his promises had put that fear to rest for the most part.

Then, a more worrying and personal reason had come to mind.

Had it been her that was the problem?

Kuroka knew what type of woman she was and had no desire to change that, but there was always niggling doubt in everyone's mind when with someone you love.

Am I the problem? Am I being too pushy with my desires? Has this relationship become one-sided? Does he not care about me like I care about him?

Even though she knew that to be false, Kuroka couldn't help the fear she felt.

The last few weeks had largely put those fears to rest as well.

Eren still remained the same man he had always been with her. Hesitant to show physical affection, but not put off by it so long as it didn't become smothering.

If anything, Eren had become even more open with Kuroka now that he didn't have to worry about continually reliving their interactions every moment, past and future.

So, why then had he left?

"I wasn't needed anymore," Eren shrugged. A casual gesture that, if Kuroka didn't know him so well, would have fooled her. "All the factions had been cowed. I left instructions for those that needed them, and it was just a matter of waiting till the world and other pieces of the plan would fall into place without my involvement."

His voice and the slight tremble in his spirit gave it away.

The subtle undercurrent of hesitancy and... shame?

He was lying to her.

Why?

Eren never lied to her. He wouldn't talk about specific topics, but he never lied.

Not to her.

So why now?

"That's why you didn't tell our mooks," Kuroka pointed out with a pout. "You could have told me or Vali, nyaa."

Eren remained stubbornly, infuriatingly, silent.

"You were always planning on leaving," Kuroka pressed. "That's how your powers work. While this bench might be a blind spot, you would know there was a hole in your memory, even if you didn't know where. From the first day we met, you knew you'd leave. Just like you knew I'd make your cane."

"I... did," Eren nodded hesitantly.

"And, nyaat once, did you think of telling me you'd leave for over a year?"

There was heat in her voice, Kuroka realized. One she hadn't intended to let slip.

It had just boiled out.

A year of worry, of fear, of feeling betrayed.

For an instant of clarity, Kuroka suddenly realized this was a tiny fraction of what Shirone must have felt.

Had that been Eren's goal? To give Kuroka a fraction of the pain her sister had felt? Was this a necessary part of the promise to have them reunited?

As always, knowing what was planned and what was coincidence was impossible with Eren, even if his powers were now limited.

"Why, huh," Eren grunted, fists clenching. "I've been asking myself that a lot lately. Why? I know what will happen. I know the cause, the effect. I know the Path. But why do I walk it?"

"You aren't answering my question," Kuroka scowled. "You didn't have to tell me where you were. I just needed to know you were alive. So why didn't you?"

"Why do I do a lot of things," Eren asked himself rhetorically, looking forlorn. Listless. "I never had this problem before, you know? I always knew why. For every single step I took, every terrible deed and evil I committed, I knew why. I was certain of it. Now..."

"Stop running away from the question!"

"...unning away."

"Nyaa?"

"I was running away!" The Titan snapped, hands tightening around his cane. "You want to know why? So do I! But I don't! So I ran!"

"Nyaa!?" Kuroka flinched at the outburst.

"I want to know why!" Eren's cane slammed into the ground with enough force to shake the bench. "Why am I here? Why was I reborn in this world? Why do I still have this damn power? Why have I done all this? Why will I..."

Eren didn't finish the question, shaking his head frantically, face set in a snarl of frustration.

"You want to know why I left you? Because I gave up. I've done everything! Everything! All that's left is the final step. And I don't know why yet!"

Eren gripped his head, hands tightening in his hair in frustration.

"I know there's a reason. There has to be a reason. This bench only blocks one part of my power, not the one that lets me know my own memories. What I know will definitely happen. The only reason I can't see them is because I am preventing myself from seeing them. I know knowing it ahead of time will prevent me from reaching that future. But why is that terrible future something I want? Why have I done all this? Will do it, have done it, am doing it? GAH!! I don't even know anymore!!"

"But," Kuroka hesitated, unsure what to do in this situation. Eren had never snapped at her like this. He looked... confused. Frustrated. Angry. Ashamed. "Haven't you already lived it, nyaa?"

"I have!" Eren growled from clenched teeth. "I know I can't change the future I've lived. I tried. I tried so hard last time. But I can't. But I promised myself, from that first moment in the Path, that I won't do it until I know why!"

Eren's fist slammed into the arm of the bench in his anger. Unenhanced by Touki, it was the arm of a regular human, his flesh split on the metal, blood flowing.

He hit the bench again.

"So I set everything up to work without me and left. I left to look for this damn bench! And I wasn't going to come back. You, Vali, my plans, my promises, all of it. I ran away. I was going to leave it behind! All for this damn bench. I will not leave it until I know why!"

Kuroka had never seen her lover so angry. So passionate.

So... scared.

He had used violence and rage before to cow devils, dragons, and all sorts of monsters to his cause. But it was all chaneled. Limited.

Not like this.

This was why he had lied.

He was ashamed of his weakness.

Eren dropped his cane. The wood clattered, and Kuroka flinched again at the sound.

Turning in his seat, he seized Kuroka's shoulders tightly and looked at her directly, blood staining her kimono.

She couldn't see them clearly, but his bandages had loosened slightly when he had grabbed his head, and she could see his eyes.

Kuroka didn't want to see his eyes. Not now, not like this.

Not as they stared at her in confusion, anger, horror, and shame.

Not with the wet tracks that lined his cheeks or the way his mouth was contorted into a grimace of extreme grief.

Her Senjustu and the connection they shared told her what the face meant.

It was rage.

It was fear.

It was hatred.

It was guilt.

It was a self-loathing so deep that it had Kuroka seeing stars.

"Why am I doing this?" Eren begged for an answer. One Kuroka didn't have. "I don't know why I exist. Why I am here. What am I always the one who has to do these terrible things? What I'll do, it's worse than the Rumbling. What I will inflict on this world is the worst fate I can imagine. So why, dammit!? Why was I smiling?"

The rage left. Eren sagged, still holding Kuroka's shoulders, and he collapsed against her chest.

"Why? Why am I doing this to this world," Eren cried. "You don't deserve this. They don't deserve this. So why am I always the one who has to do these things? Am I really just the Devil?"

He sat there, pouring his emotions out on a bloody and wet kimono.

Awkwardly, Kuroka held him.

She didn't say anything.

She didn't know what to say.

Kuroka didn't know what the 'Rumbling' was.

Kuroka didn't know why Eren's plan was so bad in his eyes. To her, it was a great plan.

Kuroka didn't know why Eren was struggling so much with this now, so close to the end.

Kuroka didn't know so much.

But she thought she knew Eren Yeager.

Now, Kuroka realized, she had only known a part of him.

As long as she had known Eren Yeager, he had never been... this.

This sobbing wreck of a man.

For the first time since they had met so many years ago, Eren Yeager resembled and acted like the young boy she knew he must have been at one point.

Kuroka had a second realization.

This was what Eren had always been.

For the first few years they had known each other, Kuroka had thought Eren to be an emotionless machine. An automaton is marching forward towards a single goal without caring who he trampled over to get there.

There was some truth to that, as Eren did not shy away from violence in the least.

But that wasn't who Eren Yeager truly was.

Kuroka had thought she understood his burden. She had been the only one he had told the true extent of his power, and she had thought she understood the price of that power.

She had been wrong.

Kuroka was confident she was the only one who could see the truth. She was the only one who had seen Erin at the peak of his power, and now, when he was little more of a threat than a regular Ultimate class devil.

She only saw who Eren truly was by seeing him when he was at his most powerless. His most weak and pathetic.

Eren was just a man.

He was just human.

He had an extraordinary power, which she knew for sure, but Eren himself?

He was no genius, someone with an inviolate willpower, or even a great general.

He was just a boy who gained power and sought to create a world in the only way he knew how: through violence.

It was such a revelation to Kuroka.

Eren was... human.

Not a Yokai. Not a devil, angel, or fallen. Not a god or a hero.

Eren was just a man.

More than that, Eren was a man of emotions. A man of rage, sorrow, yearning, and regret.

Kuroka had seen the darker emotions, the rage and fury before. He had used it to bend some of the most powerful beings in the world to his will.

But Kuroka had thought it had just been another part of the plan, a calculated outburst.

After all, he never showed any other emotions.

But she had mistaken the cause and effect.

Eren hadn't allowed himself to feel any other emotion, to express any of the deeper currents that twirled within him, because if he did it once, he would always be living that moment, constantly feeling that collapse of will.

If he allowed himself to reach his lowest point, he'd always be at that lowest point.

And he wouldn't be able to walk forward if he was always at his lowest point.

Eren Yeager needed to walk forward.

Even if he didn't know why.

So Kuroka held her lover close for long minutes as he regained his center.

He must have been holding it in for years.

Eren broke the silence first, pulling away from her to collapse bonelessly against the bench.

"Sorry."

"For what, nyaa?"

"That I am using you."

The voice, so familiar in its lack of emotions, hurt Kuroka's heart just as much as the tears.

"I know." Kuroka's voice was soft and full of love. "You told me."

That first day they had met, when Eren had extended a hand to her, he had said as much. Warned her that he'd use her.

"I am using you too."

Kuroka had laughed and warned him she would use him in turn.

A tool to escape her pursuers, a defender against those hunting Black Cat Kuroka and a tool to reunite her with Shirone.

They had used each other. They were still using each other.

Kuroka thought she understood the exchange when they first made the deal.

She hadn't.

She, after all, couldn't see the future.

Kuroka had realized how deeply Eren had used her only years later when it had been too late. When the shackles of love had been placed tight around her wrists and neck.

Yet Kuroka also realized that... she was alright with that.

Kuroka was different from Eren Yeager.

She'd give up freedom for love.

It had been Kuroka who had offered to use Bouchujutsu to reinforce his flagging life force, trying to buy him more time. Eren had never asked her to, had told her it wouldn't heal him, but it had been Kuroka's choice.

That had been the important part.

Eren knew she would make the offer, though he never asked. He had always known she would come to him that night.

He had known he would accept and what would come of it.

He had seen, lived through, and remembered her offer, her touch, long before they had ever met.

It was probably one of the reasons he had sought her out.

Eren was manipulating her. Kuroka knew that before she offered herself to the man.

Love and an almost fatalistic resignation had compelled her.

Eren could see her choices, but he couldn't make them for her.

What happened when they became one, when Kuroka shared her power, body, and heart with Eren, solidified Kuroka's feelings.

Kuroka had not managed to heal him, just as he knew she wouldn't, but she did connect to Eren through their mingling of Ki. Bouchujutsu was the mingling of Ki, of lifeforce.

When two masters of Senjutsu joined in such a way, it went well beyond the physical.

For that instant, their lives had been one, and she'd seen what he saw.

The Path.

That place where time passed infinitely in an instant.

Eren experienced every moment of his life all at once, but the Path was different.

In that space of towering dunes and blue light, with its lonely tree without branches, things happened as they should, one after another.

And Kuroka had been there with him for so, so long.

She didn't know what they talked about or what they did there. They might have already had this conversation already, and she had forgotten. Maybe lifetimes of conversations and moments.

Maybe Eren had told her he would leave to find this bench, to find out why he was in this world. Maybe Eren had talked about his past, dreams, fears, and love.

Maybe they hadn't talked at all, just sitting together for countless years that passed in an instant.

It was hazy, half-remembered, like a fever dream. There was too much there and too little. Kuroka could only hold on to an impression, a foggy dream, because she was not part of the Path. Not really.

A guest, but she was not part of that world.

It was not her Path.

But the impression of that place had seared itself into her soul.

"It doesn't make it right," Eren grunted, his voice dead of any inflection, even as he drowned himself in self-hatred. "But I did it anyway. Because I needed people to die for me! Again!"

"We knew what we were getting into, nyaa," Kuroka argued back passionately, tails waving in a frenzy. "We all did. You never lied to us about that."

"Again and again," Eren repeated, staring blankly skyward. "More children for my wars. More blood at my feet. More corpses for the road."

"They know they are dying for something, something they believe in. And you gave them something no one else has. Confirmation of success. They can die for you because they know the Titan will bring their dream to life."

Despite her words, Eren still lay there. Like he was empty.

But he wasn't.

That was the problem.

Eren cared.

He tried not to. Tried to keep himself distant and aloof. Tried to wrap himself in apathy.

But Eren wasn't a man who could be detached from emotion.

He cared deeply. About her. About Vali.

About those whom he was leading into damnation.

Not equally.

The subordinates he never met knew were needles in his heart. The comrades he saw every day were arrows of guilt. Vali and his team were swords piercing his chest.

Kuroka?

Eren cared for her more than anyone else in this new life, at least at the time of their joining. Kuroka remembered feeling that clearly in the Path.

It was the care, the love, of a mortal man.

One who had lived an entire lifetime, short as it was, with Kuroka before she had ever met him.

Every second he lived, Eren felt Kuroka's touch. Every moment, he heard her whispers of love well before she uttered them.

He manipulated her, choosing the end goal and leading them both towards it.

That didn't mean he didn't feel every step.

For the same reason, he could not talk about the past, for he would constantly relive the pain, and so too had Eren always cared about her.

Because he had seen their every moment together, he had lived it for every second of his life.

Eren loved her.

Kuroka had been a hundred percent sure of that in that moment of union. It had pervaded that Path so wholly that it might as well have been written in the stars.

It was what had made his disappearance so heartbreaking.

Kuroka didn't know exactly how long she spent in the Path, in the half second of connection, that first time.

All she knew was that it was long enough to gain a third tail.

It was easy to convince Eren that they needed to repeat the experience. He hadn't even argued against it. As Senjutsu users, they both gained power by the exchange and mixing of Ki.

The act itself felt wonderful. The connection, the feelings, all of it had been the most peaceful Kuroka had ever felt.

More than that, though, it had been necessary.

It turned Eren's already large reserves for a human into something that rivalled gods at his peak as he drew Ki from a supremely talented senjutsu user, refined it with endless practice, and used it as an arrow to pierce his enemies' necks.

Kuroka gaining more tails was also a boon, meaning Eren had a more helpful lieutenant. Her passing years in the Path, in an instant, turned a millennia-long process into something that lasted a heartbeat. She couldn't gain such power too often; most of her training was spent controlling the increase, but it turned millennia of effort into months.

And every time they joined, two masters of Bouchujutsu, they grew in power by magnitudes.

Without that power, without each other, they would not have been able to reign in some of the absolute monsters that now worked with the Brigade. There was no way those bastards would have followed a human unless under threat.

But the cost had been steep, Kuroka had realized.

That had been why the future Eren desired had Kuroka in it. He had needed her power. To get that power, he needed to be with her. If he was with her, Eren would come to care.

A vicious cycle, one where Eren manipulated himself as much as everyone else.

Which had come first, she had wondered.

Had Eren decided the goal and then fallen in love?

Or had he fallen in love and chosen a future where they'd be together?

Or had both happened simultaneously, an instant and a lifetime.

Did it matter?

Not to Kuroka.

Eren had come to care for the woman he was supposed to manipulate.

He was only human, after all.

Kuroka never spoke of the truth of her revelations. She never would. For if she spoke it in any timeline Eren looked at, there was a possibility he would know.

Know what she felt when they joined. When her soul and life mixed with his.

And if he knew, he'd know she would never let him die.

"This world, it's terrible," Kuroka tried to reassure him. "So many are mocked, used, thrown away, enslaved, and killed because they don't have power. This world is hell to the weak. You will change that. They die for you, not because you are manipulating them. They know their fate, just like I know it. You told us. They die for you because you give them hope for a world that isn't hell."

"Hell?" Eren tasted the word as if never having heard it before. Then he shook his head as he spoke slowly. "You're wrong. This world isn't hell. It's terrible, but it isn't hell. The world I'll make will be hell. I know that. I know what I have to do. Because I am remaking my world. My hell! I've become the exact person I hate the most, and I don't even know why!"

Eren gripped his head with both hands again, doubling over as if trying to tear thoughts from his head.

He was shaking.

In rage, in hatred, in sorrow, or in fear, Kuroka didn't know.

"Do I die?"

Eren froze. His shaking stopped, but his head remained bowed.

"No."

"Does Shirone?"

"...I don't know. I can't see her."

"If I am alive, Shinronyaa won't die," Kuroka stated. It was a fact. So long as she lived, her sister would too. Then her voice softened, and she hesitated. "But you can only see until you... until the end, right?"

"Yes. I am the only one on the Path. Nobody has come before or will come after."

"So you don't know what will happen after you... after you die." The words tasted like ash in her mouth.

"I do. Because I know people. People repeat the same mistakes. Over and over. There is no escaping it," Eren denied, sitting back up and facing the reincarnated devil. "Even after I die, I know what will happen. I've seen it in my world. And the people of this world are no different. Race doesn't matter. People are the same everywhere. What I am going to do... The world that I will build... I've seen it all before. I've lived in that hell. I just don't know why I am doing it all again."

Kuroka heard the hatred in Eren's voice as he spoke of his home dimension.

"...Is this the 'Rumbling' you mentioned, nyaa?" Kuroka asked hesitantly.

Eren didn't answer.

"If you've seen this before, tell me why it happened there. Maybe the reason is the same."

"The reasons aren't the same," Eren denied instantly, his voice once more detached. He was vacillating, Kuroka realized. Between extremes of emotions and apathy. Trying to come to terms. "I don't hate the people here. Everything that happened in my world was caused by love and hatred. And I don't hate this world enough. I don't hate the people here. They've never done anything to me."

"What about the devils," Kuroka prodded.

She knew Eren held a hatred for the Peerage system and how it allowed devils to force people into what was essentially eternal slavery.

Her own experiences were bad enough that she had no problem when he had directed his ire towards the High-class devils in the Brigade.

"I... thought I did," Eren said hesitantly, hands tightening into fists. "Not all devils." Kuroka hoped not since she was one herself, as was Vali. "But devil Kings? Those that enslave others for power and entertainment? I hated them. Still hate them. What they do is disgusting. I have no problem killing a bunch of devils like that. But everyone else? They don't deserve to die like that, not because of a few animals. And... I am not even sure that hatred is enough anymore."

Kuroka didn't doubt Eren's disgust for devil Kings. The Old Satan faction had been Eren's favourite part of the Brigaid to use as examples whenever he needed to put the fear of the Titan in newbies.

It was hilarious to see those hoity-toity 'noble' devils chafe under his control, act out, and get crushed by a 'lowly human.' But now wasn't time for justified schadenfreude.

Eren was lost. Confused. Hurt.

"What changed," Kuroka asked gently.

"Since I've been here," Eren hesitated, speaking slowly as he tried to put his thoughts back together. "On this bench, even that reason, that hatred, isn't enough to answer why. I haven't found the answer, just more reasons to ask why."

"What changed, nyaa?"

"I realized I was making the same mistake as last time," Eren sighed, weariness all that was left in him as he slumped back against the bench. "I thought I wasn't, but I was. I was hating them for what they were, not who they were. I still hate most Kings of Peerages. Or at least, most I've met," Eren clarified.

Then he paused, reaching down for his cane where it had fallen.

"But... there are kind devils too," he said softly, drawing the first few inches of the blade. "Those with dreams or who give their Peerage a choice. And I can't hate people like that."

It was with a voice void of any will to live that Eren spoke his following words.

"You. Them. Everyone in this world. I can't hate everyone, not like I used to. So why am I here? You all would be better off if I wasn't here."

"Don't say that!" Kuroka snapped. Eren went to speak, but she cut him off. "You can only see what you are involved in. You have no idea if things would be better or worse without you. Whether I would even still be here!"

"You're right," Eren nodded slowly. "I can't see that. But after what I do-"

"What we do, nyaa," Kuroka cut him off. "I've been with you this entire time. I'll be with you to the end. You don't get to take all the blame."

More than anything else she had said, more than any sort of reassurance or appeal to logic, those words shut Eren up.

Which was good because Kuroka wasn't done.

"I don't get it, nyaa," the Nekoshou hissed angrily. It was her turn to be shaking Eren by the shoulders now. "I don't get any of this. I'm trying to understand. I thought I did, but I don't. I don't understand why what we will do is worse than what we've already done. I don't know why you are here or why you are smiling at the end. I don't know why you couldn't send a message for over a year!"

As she shook him, the bandages covering his face finally gave up the ghost and fell to the bench, exposing the deep groves under his eyes. The marks that meant he had to cover his face wherever he went or risk being identified by anyone looking for him.

How many times had Kuroka gently rubbed her hands over those marks, marvelling at the ridges and holes and the power they represented?

Too many to count.

But it was never the shifter marks that held her full attention.

Eren looked up at Kuroka, gray eyes showing more emotion than she had ever seen in them.

Those eyes froze Kuroka's tirade on her lips.

For a second, they stared at each other, really seeing each other for the first time in their lives.

A pathetic man. Lost, confused and angry. One who'd destroy a world for revenge so his friends would live long, happy lives.

A monstrous woman. Loving, hedonistic, and angry. One who'd crush the world for her sister and those she loved.

Kuroka's voice was much softer as she finished her declaration.

"I don't know why you were reborn in this world." Kuroka still had her hands on Eren's shoulders, fingers digging in. As if she could hold on forever. "All I know is that no matter the reason, I am glad you were reborn."

"You don't understand," Eren shook his head slowly. "You can't understand. The fear and shame-"

"Get it through your thick skull, nyaa!" Kuroka interrupted Eren again, physically shaking him as the anger returned. "I am not trying to understand. Not now. You're smiling in the end, right? Then you'll know why, and I will, too. Until then, I don't care, nyaa!"

She kissed him. Hard. Hard enough that his lips would bruise.

Then she pulled back, revelling in the surprise in his eyes. The first time she had ever seen that look on him.

"You've been gone for over a year. You ran away. Fine, I'll accept such a lame excuse, nyaa. I always knew you had your moments of suicidal idiocy. But I cannot accept you saying you shouldn't have been born."

"I didn't say that," Eren said, seizing Kuroka's wrists and glaring at her. There it was. The fire. The passion. The will. The hard-headed stubbornness that had broken the backs of the worst this world had to offer over his titanic knee. "I never regretted being born. I just want to know why? Why was I reborn, and why me? Why have I become exactly what I've always hated?"

"I don't care why, nyaa!" Kuroka hissed, throwing her considerable strength against Eren's. All she managed to do was reposition herself till she was sitting on his lap, glaring down at him with fierce eyes as her tails swirled in a frenzy behind her. "You don't know why you were born? None of us do! So I don't care. All I care about is this. This moment. You and me. Right here and now."

"Why?"

So much in such a short question, asked by a man as lost as everyone else about the future.

Why can't you understand? Why won't you understand?

Why can you ignore this problem, this question about my existence?

Why, after everything I've done and will do, are you still with me?

Why do you still care?

"Because I love you," Kuroka said softly. "Idiot."

Kuroka kissed him again, taking great pleasure in the way Eren's eyes widened in surprise once more.

It was a shame that his connection to the Path was inhibited. Otherwise, Kuroka might have gained her seventh tail that summer evening on the bench.

********

While the enormous power of the mix of the Founder and Attack Titan does give an excellent opportunity for visually dramatic conflicts, I have always been more interested in how it affects the characters. How does one deal with seeing everything, living every moment in a life all at once? At every moment, you are living your worst and best moments. You are feeling the most significant pain and most incredible pleasure every second of your existence.

That's gonna mess a guy up. We see hints of it at the end of AOT, but there simply isn't room for exploring it.

Imagine knowing your husband/wife for decades before even meeting them. Do you love them more or less? What about enemies? You know someone is an enemy who will hurt you before they even know you exist. Does that affect your decisions? Are you the one that makes them an enemy? Are you the one that makes someone your lover?

It's such an interesting premise that I haven't really seen explored deeply. The closest is Dr. Manhattan in the original Watchman, and he is categorically not a base human, unlike Eren and Ymir before they gained their power. If one is a complete sociopath or an unfeeling machine, it doesn't matter, but despite the actions they take, both Eren and Ymir are shown to care and love people.

I've rambled a bit, but my point is that Eren is not an absolute type character. Just as the DxD cast is growing by knowing him, so is he growing by knowing them. In a way he couldn't do in AOT because of how it ended.

I've made no secret that On The Bench is a way of coming to terms with the end of Attack on Titan, both for the characters and me as an author. I've never stated one way or the other whether I like the ending because it doesn't matter for this story. It's the ending we received. And we must come to terms with it, whether we like it or not.

Fanfiction is terrific for allowing us to explore 'what ifs,' AUs, or alternate scenarios, but it can never escape the original work. Then it's not fanfiction anymore, but a whole new story.

I will meet you all next week on the bench.

ReadingDangerously · Mar 3, 2024

Mikasa Ackerman clenched her fists tightly.

It was the second least dramatic reaction to Sona's loss in the booth after Grayfia's quiet exhale of air.

Their Kings, obviously, were less measured in their responses.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Serafall Leviathan wailed to the sky as she collapsed to her knees.

So grief-filled was her shout that one would think a family member had died.

"SOOOO-TAAAAAANNNNN!"

"WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!" Sirzechs Lucifer, in contrast, was shouting in joy as he hopped up and down, waving his red flag energetically. "Go Rias. Go Rias. Go Rais."

The Crimson Satan's chant would have gone on longer if not for his fellow Satan tackling him around the waist with all the fury of a rabid hamster.

The frozen gerbil, powered by the rage of a sis-con who just saw her sister lose, tried to strangle the leader of her race, frothing at the mouth with righteous So-tan-fuelled power.

Mikasa and Grayfia shared long-suffering looks of commiseration.

Then they went to stop a second civil war, one caused by an argument over whose sister was better.

Grayfia went straight for the physical option, grabbing her husband's ear and pulling it tight.

Sirzechs flinched, partly from his wife's pinching and partly because Serafall had bitten him on the arm with all the small dog energy she could muster.

Mikasa, in contrast, went for the diplomatic approach.

"Serafall," Mikasa sighed. "What are you doing?"

"'effen'in-." Judging she couldn't get her point across adequately as she was, the Minister of Foreign Affairs for all devil-kind spat out Sirzechs' sleeve to proclaim her intent proudly. "Defending So-tan's honor!"

Long knowing her King, Mikasa didn't even try to argue. Instead, she just went for the nape of the neck.

"Instead of consoling her after her first Rating Game loss?" Mikasa asked simply.

It was like she had smashed her King with a hammer.

"AH!" Serafall gasped in horrified realization. "You're right, Mi-tan! Don't worry, So-tan! Onee-sama is coming!"

With a swish of her pink skirt, an unnecessary panty shot, and a rain of sparkles, Serafall teleported away.

Grayfia gave Mikasa a look of admiration and respect as she pulled her own King to his feet.

"Are you certain you do not wish to be employed," the maid asked. There was a thread of desperate hope in her voice, one Mikasa only noticed because of their similar way of speaking. "I assure you, the Ministry of Internal Affairs is more than generous in salary and benefits. And you would be a great help."

"No thanks," Mikasa answered bluntly.

Grayfia looked heartbroken, even though her face hadn't so much as twitched.

"What did you think of the match," Sirzechs asked, rubbing his cheek.

"They did good."

"They did more than good," Sirzechs protested good-naturedly. Mikasa remained silent. "Admit it, you are proud of Sona's Peerage."

She was, but she wouldn't admit anything to the man. Mikasa had nothing personally against the Satan, but also had no desire to be closer to her King's friend.

Or anyone else, really.

"They did good," Mikasa repeated.

Sirzechs pouted.

Would devils really be all right with this type of leadership? Mikasa asked herself that for the thousandth time.

Sure, they were in the Satan's private viewing room, but the Pawn was confident that all the Satans' eccentricities were not nearly as feigned as they liked others to believe.

They really were these types of idiots.

They just also were supremely powerful and could be competent. Sometimes. The juxtaposition was probably why they were so successful. Nobody was sure what was fake and what was true.

It was the only way these 'young' devils had been able to lead a faction full of millennia-old monsters with the worst sort of vices.

In the end, it was none of Mikasa's business.

"Be that way," Sirzechs sighed dramatically.

"I am going to see how they are doing," the Pawn said, preparing to teleport to the infirmary herself. Then she paused and finally asked a question she had been worrying over. "Will this loss hurt Sona's dream?"

"Not likely," the leader of the devils answered easily. "While most traditional devils value power over all else, none of the ones that really matter will have expected Sona to beat Rias or Sairaorg. Even if they don't hold the rank officially, a High-class Peerage has never beaten an Ultimate-class one. The match might actually do the opposite, as Sona's tactics allowed her to come close to defeating not only a new Ultimate class devil with the Power of Destruction but also the Red Dragon Emperor."

Mikasa nodded, letting a bit of relief fill her chest. She had been worried and wasn't politically aware enough to know if this would hamper Sona after she had declared her ambition so proudly.

"Sona demonstrated her mental ability, which is more important for her dream than direct power," Sirzechs must have noticed her relief because he continued. "And her Peerage demonstrated their competence against a stronger force, as well as coordination. Rias not only won but also demonstrated her power and control to a degree most Ultimate class beings struggle with. Even Issei stood out, making up for the showing with Riser and demonstrating perseverance and loyalty that will put even the hardest fearmongers to rest."

"Unfortunately, the rest of Lady Rias' Peerage will have to give a better showing in the coming matches."

"They have the entire rest of the tournament," Sirzechs waived off his Queen's concern. "No, this was likely the best outcome for both of them. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought they staged it. Hells, Sona might have planned it if she knew she couldn't win."

That did sound like Sona. Accomplishing her goal even in defeat.

Mikasa nodded in thanks to the pair for their explanation and once again prepared herself for teleportation.

"When you get the chance," Lucifer added before she disappeared. "Please talk to Rias and her Peerage as well. They might have won, but it was a rough go."

Mikasa simply nodded again as the device Adjuka created for her teleported her away.

She reappeared in the part of the facility designed to receive those injured in Rating Games.

While fatalities weren't carried over from the fake space, there were always chances of aftereffects, and combatants would need a place to recover from exhaustion and unconsciousness as they were evaluated by the medics.

From there, Mikasa faced a choice.

Did she go see Rias and her Peerage, as Sirzechs asked, or visit Sona and hers?

Mikasa did like Rias and her group, and she knew them decently well. Plus, Serafall was with Sona, so Mikasa's presence would be more of a hindrance as her King tried to distract Sona with her antics.

But...

"Please train me!" A young Kiba Yutto glared up at Mikasa. "Please. I have to kill them all!"

The newly named Koneko Toujo looked at her with blank eyes. Familiar eyes. The eyes of a girl who had lost everything but could never pick up a small blade to fight back.

"I am Himejima Akeno," the young girl curtsied formally. "Pleased to meet you." Mikasa wanted to shatter that fake and brittle smile.

"I'm not a monster. I don't want to drink blood." The boy hidden in the cardboard box could not see Mikasa flinch. "I'm not a monster."

Mikasa turned toward the section where Sona's Peerage was to be recovering.

It wasn't that she didn't like Rias and her Peerage. In fact, she was glad Sona had such a vivacious childhood friend. It was just...

It was like the Gremory Peerage was a blade, cutting deep into wounds Mikasa had thought long healed.

Every one of them reminded the former soldier of long-dead friends, of times of cruelty and death, and of a boy waiting under a tree.

Hells, the Red Dragon Emperor even sounded slightly like Eren.

Rias had been the only exception, a bastion of joy and liveliness, so at odds with all the cruelties of the world and desperately trying to bring joy to those lost children.

At least until...

"We will be free," Rias declared to the world. Mikasa could almost imagine seeing the shadow of a grey-eyed boy behind her, and her heart sank. Was history doomed to repeat itself? "And we will destroy all who take that freedom from us."

... Mikasa would talk with them later. For now, it was better to check on the Sitri Peerage.

She found them without issue, as there were no other Rating Games at the moment to accommodate the Young Devils Tournament.

Deciding to step past the room where she could hear Serafall try to 'console' Sona, though she did smile slightly at Serafall's antics, Mikasa went to the larger room containing the rest of the Peerage.

They were all there, some crowding around Saji's bed as he had been the last to be defeated, but the rest were all talking to each other in low, dejected voices.

Tsubaki was the first to notice Mikasa's arrival.

"Mikasa-sensei," the Queen said in surprise, standing to her feet as the rest of the Peerage did the same.

Or at least tried to, in Saji's case, but Riruko held him down forcefully to prevent him from standing.

Mikasa looked over the room, noting the looks of shame and failure.

"Good job," she said, trying to cheer them up.

It didn't really work.

"We lost," Momo murmured dejectedly.

"And you helped us train so much," Reya said as she sat back down with a sigh, staring at the floor.

"Sorry, Ackerman-sensei," Tsubasa apologized.

Saji didn't say anything, clenching his fists in frustration as he stared down at his lap.

Mikasa understood they were frustrated, disappointed, and sad that they had lost after giving their all.

But...

"I said 'good job' because you did a good job," Mikasa said simply. "You were evenly matched in numbers but were the weaker party."

They all winced, but Mikasa continued bluntly. They needed to hear this.

"Despite that, you managed to defeat all but two of them before they put up any resistance. You would have won if you were facing anyone but the Red Dragon Emperor and an Ultimate class devil."

"I almost had him," Saji growled through grit teeth. "Just a little longer."

"No," Mikasa answered brutally. "You didn't. The longer a fight goes on, the stronger a Red Dragon Emperor becomes. You could outlast him if he was a Pawn, but he's a Rook. You all lost when the surprise attack failed to take out Hyoudou and Rias."

"Then what," Momo asked helplessly, tears beading her eyes as she looked at their instructor. "Were we supposed to give up?"

"No," Mikasa repeated. "You did exactly what you should have done. You fought an organized retreat against superior opponents. When one of you fell, the others didn't panic, just reorganized. You extended a match that should have been over in a minute to over five."

None of them looked consoled, and the former scout shook her head.

"This is why I don't like Rating Games," Mikasa admitted, and they looked at her in surprise.

"Why not Sensei?" Riruko asked.

"They teach the wrong lessons," Mikasa leaned against the doorway.

How to put this in a way they'd understand? Once more, the former soldier wished Armin was here. He was the one with a way with words.

"In the real world, in the field, Hyoudou would have started Boosting before entering battle, and you'd have no chance of defeating him. Rias would have acted as artillery and destroyed the building from a distance. Or Akeno, since you- we are devils. In the real world, there would not have been a battle."

The Peerage looked more dejected, angry, or despondent with every word Mikasa spoke.

"Despite all that, in the real world, I would still choose to have you all and Sona over Rias and her Peerage."

"Ackerman-sensei?" Tsubaki asked, light returning to her eyes.

"I am not saying this because I trained you or to make you feel better," Mikasa explained with narrowed eyes. "I am stating the truth. If I went on a mission, I would choose you all over them."

"Why?" Tsubasa asked, hope in her voice. They all knew Mikasa wasn't one to mince words or use platitudes.

"Tactics, teamwork, and mindset," Mikasa listed off simply. "Rias might be more powerful, but Sona is the better leader. I'd trust her orders more. And we would work together rather than separately. Having comrades you can coordinate with is a force and safety multiplier. When someone goes off on their own, they are an easy victim. And when things went wrong? You all handled it logically rather than letting emotions ruin your plan."

How many times had she messed things up because she couldn't control her emotions?

Too many to count.

"You saw Hyoudou? The loss of his comrades gave him strength, but he became a blunt instrument. Instead of working with Rias, he took you all on practically alone. While they won the match, it was despite their faults, not because of their superiority."

By now, everyone was looking much brighter. Some were even smiling.

Good.

Mikasa was terrible at cheering people up. Or working with the emotions of others at all. It had always been difficult trying to sympathize with Grisha when he was growing up. Not because she didn't care or didn't have ideas to help, but because Mikasa had no idea how to convey what she was feeling or thinking.

Mikasa had always felt strongly about people, but conveying those emotions had been impossible for so long. It was like there had been a wall separating her from everyone else, and only rarely had she been able to cross it.

It had been easier with people like her adoptive family, but she had only been able to really express herself without issue with two people.

It had been Jean who had come up with the idea of putting a military lens on situations. Mikasa might not have been able to give a motivational speech to save her life, but she had given hundreds of After Action Reports.

It helped that these were the words Mikasa wished she had received when she was younger. When she thought her strength was all that was needed to keep those she loved safe.

The world needed more Erwins, Armins, and Sonas than it needed more Mikasas, Levis, and Rias'.

The world needed more people working together.

The world did not need stronger monsters.

Mikasa made sure to stare them all in the eyes, one at a time, so that they would understand what she was telling them.

"You. Did. Good."

This time, her words had her desired effect as chests slightly puffed in pride. Mikasa nodded, glad to see the small smiles she received.

"More than good!"

Mikasa whirled, sword appearing in her hand to point at the throat of the cheerful voice that had snuck up on her.

Azazel didn't even flinch.

"You all were wonderful," the former Governor of the Grigorri was all smiles despite the blade at his Adam's apple. "So much data. I couldn't have asked for a better showcase of my Artificial Sacred Gears. I need to know everything. How did they feel? Were they responsive in live combat? Did you feel any change before and after the battle? And do you want to keep them? The same ones, or do you want to try some of my other inventions? Tsubaki, are you sure you don't want to try Heavenly Crimson Black Halberd? I think you will see even better results."

The inventor babbled happily, surveying the Sitri Peerage with a critical eye as they all squirmed under his gaze.

Azazel's help significantly contributed to their good showing, thanks to his artificial Sacred Gears. Still, it didn't change that he could be off-putting because of his power, race, and mania whenever he started talking about sacred gears.

Especially the ones he created and named.

Names that the group had immediately changed.

Mikasa put her blade back in her storage device.

"Azazel," the Pawn greeted with a nod, if not a particularly friendly one. She had nothing against the man, fallen or not, but he reminded her too much of Hange. And not the reliable Hange, but the one obsessed with Titans. And Mikasa had never really approved of how Hange would act around... "They've just fought. Give them time to rest."

"This is the best time," Azazel argued. "While the memory is fresh."

"Don't worry, Mikasa-sensei, we're recovered," Tsubaki nodded with a slight grimace. "It is the least we can do for Azazel-dono. So long as he lets Saji rest for a while."

"I'm fine," the Pawn tried to protest, but Riruko pushed him back into bed again with a frown.

"That's for the best," Azazel nodded quickly. "I have something else planned for him." Saji looked worried at the fallen's easy smile. "Don't worry. Next time you face Issei, you'll be able to do more than simply hold him off."

"You will tell both Sona and me everything you have planned before doing anything." Tsubaki adjusted her glasses so they glinted ominously as if daring the leader of an entire faction to test her.

"Yes, yes," Azazel waived off her glare quickly. "You'll agree, I'm sure. Now, come on, all of you. I want to get some readings as soon as possible."

Sona's Peerage shared long commiserating looks, well used to being directed, before filing out of the room.

Mikasa was going to follow them as well to ensure Azazel didn't push them too hard when she noticed Momo and Ruroko saying farewell to 'Gen-chan.'

Saji returned their farewells but completely ignored the more nuanced glances the girls shared with each other and how they looked at him.

Mikasa winced internally.

Right.

That situation.

"I must speak to Saji," Mikasa said plainly, getting questioning looks, but she paid them no mind. Instead, she stared at the fallen leader. "Do not go too far."

"Who do you take me for," Azazel said with a foppish grin, placing his hand over his heart as if he had been wounded by Mikasa's words. "I'd never do something like that."

Mikasa just stared the man down.

"Fine," he sighed eventually with a slump. "I'll save the more rigorous and thorough tests for tomorrow."

Mikasa nodded.

She also discreetly signalled for Tsubaki to call her if the fallen tried something.

Azazel was too much like Hange when it came to Sacred Gears to not have redundancies, just in case.

It didn't take long for Mikasa and Saji to be left alone, and Mikasa closed the door and locked it.

This would be embarrassing enough without being interrupted.

"Ackerman-sensei?" The Pawn shifted nervously on his bed as she walked over and sat on one of the chairs nearby.

Mikasa didn't say anything.

How was she supposed to do this?

There was a reason she had put this off for so long. Talking with Sona about romance had been hard enough and only even possible because Mikasa had seen so much of herself in the young devil.

Well, herself and Armin.

Sona was much more like her friend than Mikasa most of the time.

"Ackerman-sensei?" Saji said again, looking around nervously as Mikasa just sat there, looking at him and not saying anything. "What, um, what did you want to talk about? The match?"

"Saji." Mikasa decided to just speak bluntly and get this over with. "You like Sona."

The boy flinched, flushing as he looked down at his hands.

"Uuuumm," Saji cleared his throat as he squeaked out his words. "You could tell?"

No, but Sona had told her, and once she knew where to look, Mikasa had seen the signs herself.

"She turned you down."

"No," Saji said softly, still looking at the bed as his fists clenched in his sheets. "I didn't even get the chance to confess. She just knew. Pulled me aside and told me it wouldn't happen."

"Do you know why?"

"Because of-" Saji flinched, looked up to meet Mikasa's eyes, then looked back to the bed. His following words were spoken through grit teeth. "Because she likes someone else."

Mikasa knew Sona was trying to keep this boy's exact name and location a secret, likely to avoid either her parents' or, more likely, Serafall's attention. She couldn't even say it was without merit, knowing her best friend as she did.

Serafall had a surprisingly sly side to her, and more than once, Mikasa had let something slip she hadn't intended under the bubbly Satan's attention.

Mikasa was also unsurprised that Sona had ordered her Peerage to keep all information on the human a secret, possibly under threat of punishment. Sona would not have allowed such a point of weakness if she could help it. She had probably also had Rias and her Peerage under the same or similar threat.

In the end, Mikasa wasn't the type to pry. She'd find out who he was when Sona felt ready to share and make her judgements on the boy from there.

"I'm sure that's part of the reason," Mikasa nodded more softly than before. "Another part is her duty as a leader."

"I don't care about that!" Saji looked up to meet her eyes fiercely. "I know I'm just a Low class Pawn, but I'll get there. I'm going to be a devil worthy of her. I swear it!"

While his dedication was admirable, the boy was missing the point.

"You know Sona doesn't care about status," Mikasa scowled, and the boy looked away again. "That's not why she rejected you. It's because she's your leader. She will be your superior, your King, for the rest of your lives, even if you are both High class. It's not about the class. It is about the power dynamic. She doesn't feel comfortable with a relationship like that."

"She'd never take advantage of me, and I'd never ask for special privilege."

"Even if true, her emotional attachment would affect Sona's judgement. She doesn't want that. That's not the leader, the King, she wants to be."

Saji didn't say anything, gritting his teeth in frustration.

Mikasa didn't think she was getting through to him. Sona had probably already explained all this to him before.

Really, what was Mikasa doing here?

She wasn't some genius when it came to relationships. In fact, she was terrible with them. With feelings in general.

Why had Sona asked her to do this?

Saji was stubbornly silent, body trembling. Was it rage at his situation or sadness that had his fists clenched so hard?

Despite herself, Mikasa's heart went out to the boy.

She might not be knowledgeable about relationships or love, but heartbreak?

Heartbreak, Mikasa knew intimately.

"No matter the reason, Sona doesn't see you the way you see her," Mikasa said, face in a mask of neutrality. "So you have a choice."

"A choice?" Saji looked up, hope in his eyes.

It was as if he expected Mikasa to have a way to get Sona to change her mind.

She didn't.

All the former soldier had was the bitter truth of reality.

"Try to move on or persevere." When the boy looked like he would answer immediately, Mikasa cut him off with a look. "To persevere is not a good thing. Sona asked me to come here to stop just that."

Saji flinched as if Mikasa had slapped him.

"Why not," he croaked sadly. "He's not going to be around forever. He's human. I will always be by Sona's side. Maybe she'll change her mind."

"Maybe she'll find someone else," Mikasa said bluntly, and Saji flinched again. Mikasa sighed.

She wasn't trying to hurt the boy, but this was all true, and he needed to hear it.

"To persevere is to go years, decades, without doing anything. No acting on your feelings, even if they remain strong. Not even when, if, Sona is available. Because any time you try anything, you will just remind her why she rejected you. Whether or not you two end up together would be entirely up to her. If you falter, push, or are just unlucky, you will never have the love you want."

"That's kind of romantic, isn't it," Saji tried to smile. It came out as more of a grimace. "Someone always there for you, you know? Who always has your back, who you know loves you? That's a love story, isn't it?"

His voice cracked, and he looked like he was going to cry.

Mikasa took no pleasure in her following words, though they needed to be said.

"That's not a love story." Her words were soft but no less deadly for their tone. "It's a tragedy."

The tears fell on the bed sheets, and it was Mikasa's turn to look away.

She pretended not to hear the tears fall or the muffled sobs.

Mikasa was terrible at this.

All she was good for was hurting people, not helping them.

"It can work," Mikasa found herself saying, the words slipping out from her mouth even as she continued to look away. "That is how my husband and I got together."

"...What?" Saji's voice was soft and wet and oh so delicate.

"He gave me time to grieve. He'd loved me for years but didn't say anything, even when I was... available. It took ten years before I was ready to move on. But..."

Mikasa looked at the wet eyes of a young boy who had been rejected by his first love.

"But is that what you want?" The old widow asked gently. "My husband and I were happy together. Made a family. But... there was always someone between us. We both knew it. I couldn't help who I loved, just like you can't, just like Sona can't. It hurt him. And it will hurt for the rest of your life if that's what you choose to do."

Mikasa had come to love Jean. They had many happy years and memories together. Grisha was the light of her life.

But Eren's memory had always been there. A silence, a hole that could not be filled.

If it weren't for everything Eren had done for them, for Jean going into the relationship knowing exactly what he was getting into, and for Jean's own sense of empathy, their relationship would never have worked.

Mikasa Ackerman had loved Jean Kirstein, but she just couldn't physically find it in herself to love someone more than she had loved Eren Yeager.

And that knowledge had permeated their marriage from the moment they first kissed to the last kiss goodbye.

One last tiny tragedy, even amid the happiness of a long and happy life together.

"What else am I supposed to do," Saji asked, biting his lip and squeezing the sheets harder.

"You can try and move on," Mikasa said, trying to be gentle with her encouragement. She didn't know if she succeeded. "It won't be easy. It won't be quick. You will always feel something for her. But you will be happier in the long run. You both will."

"This would have been so much easier if she just liked me," Saji said, trying to joke as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"Or if you liked the girls who like you," Mikasa pointed out the hypocrisy in his statement.

"What?" Saji asked, looking at the older Pawn in surprise. "What girls? Who likes me?"

Mikasa blinked.

Right, she was dealing with a teenage boy here. Utterly oblivious to the feelings of others.

Maybe he hadn't been ignoring Momo and Ruroko and had genuinely not noticed.

"I'll let you figure that out," Mikasa deadpanned, standing up from her seat.

She might not pry if they wanted to keep her in the dark about Sona's human lover, but she was petty enough to get a measure of payback. There was only so much teenage drama she couldn't deal with anyway.

She looked down at the boy on the bed, feeling relief that she had gotten Sona's request over with and more than a small measure of sympathy.

"Unless you deeply love Sona so much that you are willing to be alone for decades, potentially forever, you are better off trying to move on and find happiness with someone else."

There was some hope.

Mikasa knew that Saji had only known Sona personally for a few months. This early on in their dynamic, there was every possibility he could move on if he tried.

It still wouldn't be easy, but there was hope.

"What you decide to do is up to you," Mikasa said as she moved to leave the room. "I can only tell you what I recommend. Chase your own happiness, Saji."

"Ackerman-sensei." Mikasa paused, hand on the door handle to look back at the boy. "Call me Genshirou, please," Sa- Genshirou asked. "And... Thanks."

Mikasa just nodded, glad to see some measure of determination in the Pawn's eyes.

Mikasa wished she was better at this sort of thing, but she had done all she could.

Everything from here would be up to the boy's own choices.

She left the young devil to ruminate on his thoughts and get himself in order.

It wasn't a happy conversation, but it needed to happen.

Genshirou wouldn't have an easy time of it, no matter what he decided to do, but at least he shouldn't bother Sona anymore, which was the goal.

********

Alone in his medical room, physically fine but emotionally wrung out, Genshirou Saji stared down at his hands.

He was frustrated, jealous, sad, heartbroken, tired, and confused.

He didn't know what to do with himself but knew he needed to do something.

Wholly alone, he allowed the tears to flow freely.

One hand wiped them away while the other pounded his bed.

Alone, free of fear of judgment, Genshirou Saji let out his true feelings in a low mutter of impotent jealousy. One last bitter, pathetic, and all too human venting.

"Damn Yeager," he murmured under his breath, voice rough with pain. "Why couldn't it have been me?"

For a minute, Saji sat there, feeling sorry for himself, letting the pain in his heart dwell.

Then he stood up from the bed, smacked himself on the cheek a few times, and wiped his red eyes dry.

Genshirou Saji was not a man to sit still and lament his lot.

He might not be the man she liked, but he was still a Pawn of Sona Sitri, the devil who'd change the world.

He still believed in her dream and still wanted to be a part of it.

Even if he wasn't the man she loved, Saji would still be a man she respected.

Even if it meant facing the pain of moving on from his first love.

With renewed determination, Saji left his room to set out and join his fellow Peerage mates.

They might have lost the first Rating Game of the Young Devil Gathering, but Saji would be damned if they lost the second.

********

For all his determination to grow, to be better, and to walk forward, Genshirou Saji was still a newly reincarnated devil.

He was still unaware of just how sensitive a devil's senses could be.

Especially those of a Satan's Pawn who used to be one of humanity's strongest soldiers.

"Mi-chan?" Serafall asked her Pawn with worry.

The door was halfway opened as the woman prepared to 'save' Sona from Serafall's attempt to 'kiss her boo-boos away.'

Then her friend froze mid-word, head darting to look back down the hall with wide eyes.

At the Leviathan's words, Mikasa snapped her head to look at her.

No... not her.

At Sona.

Mikasa didn't move as she stared the girl down, face more intense than Serafall had ever seen.

Then she spoke two words, eyes boring into Sona's.

"Eren Yeager."

Sona flinched, eyes darting around in a panic.

Serafall didn't know why.

All she knew was that she had never seen such a look on her Pawn's face before.

Everything happened so quickly after that for the Leviathan to get a clear answer out of her Pawn.

Then, the woman she considered a second sister was gone, and Serafall was left with her actual sister and dozens of questions.

Like, who was 'Eren Yeager?'

********

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please let it be him.

Please let it be him.

Please let it be him.

Ymir. God. Satans. Great Red.

I don't care who answers.

Just please let it be Eren.

Please let it be my Eren.

Mikasa raced from her teleportation portal, having broken a half dozen laws to get to the human world on such short notice with Adjuka's device.

Mikasa didn't care about that.

All Mikasa cared about, all she could think about was Eren Yeager.

The Pawn took less than a second to move from the Kuoh teleportation spot to the spot in the park Sona had let slip.

Then Mikasa froze, feet and wings refusing to move, even as her heart did its best to burst from her chest.

A heady feeling overcame her, and she stumbled as vertigo overwhelmed her.

It was surreal.

Like she was in a dream.

If what she saw was a dream, she didn't want to wake up.

In a clearing of trees along a dirt path, alone in the warm afternoon sun, Mikasa Ackerman found Eren Yeager napping on the bench.

********

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Evil laughter intensifies.*

Already the longest chapter of the fic, but I had so much to write. Sorry, not sorry. Don't expect this length too often, though. I still intend to keep most chapters between 2500 and 5000 words, with an average of around 3500.

From her first appearance in the story to now, only ten chapters have passed. Still, it feels like forever. I had no intention of delaying Mikasa and Eren's reunion to the end of the story, but at the same time, there were reasons, both Watsonian and Doyalist, that they hadn't met till now. Only some of them are obvious, but they will all be fleshed out more in the coming chapters.

I am glad we are finally here, though I will address something people have commented on after chapter 28. It is not that Mikasa didn't see reminders of Eren in Rias. There were always such reminders, even before Eren entered their life. I've already briefly touched on, from Eren's talks with them, how they remind him of some of his old comrades. Mikasa saw that, too, but she was not a peer of theirs. She is a grown woman. Connecting to them, beyond a simple matronly figure, has a whole different set of problems. One Mikasa Ackerman is not suited to handle.

That is a bit of a microcosm of an issue I face with a story like this, almost wholly unique to crossover fanfiction. Mikasa has been around in this world for decades. She's influenced the world even before our story started. But, for narrative purposes, I have to balance her existence with the story's needs.

Do I introduce her in the first chapter, well before her role comes in, as a way of signalling what is to come? Or do I only introduce her when she starts to affect the main story? In the end, I settled for a middle ground. She only shows up when she, the character, would.

I like this type of character-driven story, as it absolves me of many contrivances fanfiction writers often use. Imagine if Mikasa suddenly is with Eren on the bench with no warning. That would feel like a total ass-pull. This way, things happen more organically.

A few other misc notes to round us off. I am glad I could give Sona's Peerage and Saji a bit of screen time. They still won't be major characters, but they are a part of Sona's and Mikasa's stories, so they deserve some focus. Same with Serafall. She is also not going to be a main character, but she ties into both Sona and Mikasa so profoundly that she will get more exploration later.

With all that said, while you are still wringing from that cliffhanger, I will meet you all next time, with Mikasa and Eren, on the bench.

PS: .....Mwahahahahaha.

On The Bench (AOT/DxD)

On The Bench (AOT/DxD) {COMPLETE}

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