Reborn as a Demonic Hat

[IronLung]

Ethan Hawke was a man who got things done.

He was a worker – pure and simple. Put him in any situation, and he'd come out on top. Ethan's boss at the Tax Consultancy company he worked for knew this, and saw to it that his best worker was kept busy.

"Ethan! Make sure those reports are triple-checked before tomorrow morning"

"Ethan – new trainees just joined up. Gonna need someone to run 'em through the ropes and assess their skills. Make this your primary action objective for the day."

"Ethan! Regional Manager's on the way. Keep him confined to your stall. And get that manga bullshit off. Your. Desk!"

To all these requests, Ethan would oblige. He'd work day-in, day-out, never muttering a grumble of complaint, never casting a dark glance cast in his more lackadaisical coworkers' direction.

At night, he'd get home and absorb himself in anime and manga, playing the occasional MMO, and wait for the dawn that heralded another dull day of his life.

And one day, he looked in the mirror and saw a tired clown staring back at him.

"Look at you," he told his grizzled, unkempt face. "Even the Gibdos from Zelda scrub up better than you do."

There it was – the first joke of the day. The first of many mechanisms Ethan had invented to get through the drudgery of his 9-5 life. Taking this world seriously had ceased being an option for him a long time ago.

Oh, it wasn't that he begrudged those who worked long hours for a living like him. It wasn't that he hated his boss, his company, and the city he lived in. After all, he could just leave and move on, right? No – Ethan's ennui went far deeper than that. The specific circumstances of his life were endemic of a much greater problem that had followed him since his birth.

Ethan Hawke's problem was that he had no control over anything.

As a kid, there'd always been someone telling him how the world worked. There'd always been someone who believed they knew better than he did who he was, and what his place in the world was.

"Stick in at school," his father – a Stockbroker who brokered bottles more than stocks - had said. "Get a job. Work hard. Monitor your assets. Get married. Have kids. Tell them to do the same."

His mother – when she wasn't cleaning up his father's drunken messes - would tell him how he could find a good wife that could make him happy. She was telling him the love of a good woman was all he'd ever need.

And Ethan, at 25 years of age, was now beginning to doubt that very much.

Because the world had also started telling him different things these days – that a man had to be strong (but not too strong) masculine (but not so much as to be considered toxic) and caring (but not too emotional – crybabies were such a turnoff).

How the hell could he get married when the game seemed so rigged against him?

His mother, his father, his teachers, his backbreaking boss, his friends, and even the society he was living in itself – all of them seemed to Ethan to be nothing more than a council of 'wise' old Elders who told him what life he ought to live. The person he should be.

And today, as Ethan crossed the road towards his office building and his stuffy little worker's cubicle within, a heretical thought suddenly occurred to him:

What about what he wanted to be?

He stopped, ignoring the oncoming traffic that swerved to avoid him as this thought occurred. It was like a jittery little imp was knocking at the side of his brain. It was a thought that brought a hoarse chuckle to his lips. The anagnorisis of the tragic hero, occurring in the middle of a congested main road at 09:00 am. He'd simply…never thought about it before.

"What I want? Fuck," he whispered. "I just wanna see what happens when I'm the one in control, for once…"

A barrage of lights threw themselves across his body, casting his thin silhouette across the street.

He heard the driver of the truck beep his horn. He knew – without exception – that he'd be able to leap out of the way if he wanted to.

And yet…he didn't.

Without really knowing why, Ethan Hawke did the one thing that no one had ever told him to do: he stopped.

And he waited.

And the funniest thing was that when the truck finally did hit him, he barely felt any pain at all.

…

Ethan's life faded away with not even a whimper. And as his soul floated in a peaceful little void of nothingness – where no self-righteous voices existed – he suddenly felt a certain…sensation.

It was not unlike being sucked through a really tight vacuum cleaner hose, which, to be fair, was exactly what he imagined dying would feel like. The darkness eventually gave way to dust, and he awoke to a high ceilinged mine shaft filled with sparkling rocks and dripping water from above.

So, this is what death looks like, huh, Ethan thought as he prospected his new surroundings. You know what? This all checks out.

What didn't check out was the feeling of something under him. Something round, smooth, and…more dead than him, apparently.

He looked down to see that he was perched atop the head of a dusty skeleton, its cobweb-laden eyes staring into the far distance like it had left something out there in the dark tunnel beyond this shaft.

Poor dude probably starved to death. Helluva way to go. Then again, I ain't exactly one to talk…

Ethan ruffled his rim and rolled his single eye.

…

Wait a minute…

He looked down again, seeing the deep blue rim of a hat exactly where his feet should have been. Stitches, a little brown patch sewn into the side…yeah, it was a hat alright.

He was a hat…

---System Notification---

Rebirth: Complete!

You are a hat. Congratulations.

…I'm a hat?

Correct.

…Am I a pretty hat?

The little box that represented this 'System' screen then appeared to show him exactly what he looked like. Yup. He was a hat, alright. He was a pointy, dainty little wizard's hat – just like the classic ones worn by DnD wizards. The only thing that marked him out as rather distinct was the single, crimson eye that was currently staring back at him from the base of the hat's stem. His eye…

So, this really is some Isekai shit, Ethan thought. Like 'So I'm a Spider, so what?' right?

No. You are not a spider.

You are a hat.

You are a {Legendary} hat.

Riiiight. Well, since I'm going nowhere fast, tell me: what can a {Legendary} hat do?

A hat exists to be worn. Even {Legendary} ones.

This is a hat's only purpose.

You're gonna be one of those snarky little System guides, ain't ya? Ethan yawned – an action accomplished by slightly ruffling his front hem and rolling his single eye. This ain't my first rodeo, y'know. I've seen plenty of nonhuman MC shit. I wouldn't be reborn unless I had a few OP skills up my sleeve.

A hat does not have sleeves. A hat is only a ha-

A hat is gonna lose his fucking mind if you keep that shit up, Ethan raged, his crimson eye bulging with anger. Look, pull up my skill list and let's get the show on the road here, huh? I ain't gonna mope around in some backwater mine waiting for someone to pick me up. No point lying down on the job and regretting my previous life (such as it was). Just don't tell me that there's some self-righteous God I've gotta answer to…

---Skill check: Ethan Hawke---

Object: Hat {Legendary}

Skills: Possession (Rank F)

Skill Steal (Rank F)

Appraisal (Rank F)

Transmogrification (Rank F)

Spirit Cores: 1

HP: SPECIAL

MP: SPECIAL

WILL: SPECIAL

PER: SPECIAL

STR: SPECIAL

SPD: SPECIAL

CHA: SPECIAL

Now we're talking…Mrs Thornberry always did say I was a special student.

Something then began scurrying out of the corner of Ethan's peripheral vision. Something small, and chittery, which had just wormed its fuzzy form into the mine shaft.

A rat.

A rat with a pair of beady little eyes.

Eyes that found the only other eye in the otherwise eyeless expanse of the mine.

Eyes that shone with mischief.

Ah shit…ok, ok. Defenses, Mr system? What ya got for me here? I'm a wizard's hat, obviously. The guy that croaked it while he was wearing me had some magic skill, right? Bring up my epic spell list.

…

A hat has no spells.

A hat exists only to be worn.

You are a hat.

You're enjoying this shit, aren't you?

Before Ethan could spout a few choice obscenities for his awkward System screen to try and interpret, the rat had already scurried over to his position and began nibbling away at his hem.

Hey, hey, hey! he tried screaming through his mouthless form.

The rat didn't seem to understand the importance of exchanging pleasantries with polite company. Instead, it elected to chew clean through a section of his hem and scuttle underneath into his floppy, hatty bowels.

Wow! This…this is some bad territory to be straying into this early in my Isekai adventure, little guy! Just because I'm technically an object does not mean I don't have a say in – hey!

While the little creature was poking around inside the darkness of his threaded insides, the System screen made a prompt return:

[Potential Host: Identified]

Possession Success chance will be determined by your Spirit Core strength vs the Host's 'Willpower' attribute.

Attempt possession?

Ohkaaay, Ethan mumbled. Either I get chewed to death from my insides by a fleapitten rodent, or I become the fleabitten rodent…you know what? It ain't like I've got anything better to do. Call me Pazzuzu and let's get some head-spinning goodness going.

Possession: Activated

He felt it. He felt the rat jerk up in his bowels. He felt the creature's eyes begin to blur, its ruby pupils dilating as it realized its mistake in snooping around…

Then he felt something else – resistance.

Damn! Ethan screamed internally. This…this little guy's puttin' up a fight!

He closed his eye and concentrated. Now he could actually see the creature flailing about, spittle flying from its tiny, cracked teeth as it twisted unnaturally in the deep darkness of its prison.

Come ON! You're a freaking rat! Give it the fuck up already!

And then, almost as soon as the whole ordeal had started, it was over.

[Possession: Success!]

Rats Willpower: 0 vs Hat {Legendary} Spirit Core: 1

Rats are not strong willed. They have nothing but base, primal desires.

Congratulations! You have successfully possessed a {Rat, Lvl 1} .

Spirit Cores: +1

Ethan didn't feel too different at first – though he could definitely feel something…changing.

[Form Manipulation: Complete!]

An audible pop sounded in the depths of the cavernous mine, and Ethan now looked down upon a very different body beneath his hem.

He had shrunk. He had shrunk to fit the rat's head.

He was currently a pointy wizard's hat atop the head of a smelly, cave-dwelling rat.

And…he could move.

Hell yeah! he screeched, his command to cry out in delight being performed by his new host. The rat now seemed fully under his control. He could feel every limb, every muscle, every joint within its tiny form contort and even dance to the tune of his thoughts.

I should probably give my first host a name. Something distinguished. Something the history books in this world will talk about when I sit upon the head of a King or Emperor...How about…Theodore!

[Status Update]

Host: Theodore the Rat {Level 1}

Stats:

HP: 10/10

MP: 0

WILL: 0

STR: 5

PER: 5

SPD: 25

CHA: 2

[Skills known]

Hide (Grade F),

Skitter (Grade F)

Detect Life (Grade F)

Bite (Grade F)

Huh, rats have a Charisma score of 2. Who'd have thought. Maybe I got lucky and found myself an eloquent little critter.

Ethan began appraising the world with new eyes, now – those of his Host.

[Skill: Detect Life]

{PASSIVE}

[Grade F]

This skill allows you to sense nearby living creatures of flesh and blood, as well as the aromas given off by them.

He saw the mine shaft as a kaleidoscope of colors, some lambent oranges, yellows, and one trail of red mixed in there that led outside. Probably towards food.

And where there was food…there was the potential of a new host.

That's…all I have to do here, ain't it? He asked his System menu floating before him, giving him a good view of Theodore's glazed eyes and furry behind. Just find a powerful enough host, possess 'em, and live the good life. The life I should've had back home. A life where luck is what I make it, for once…

A hat exists only to be worn.

You are a hat.

And a {Legendary} one at that, Ethan chuckled. You know something, Mr System? Maybe you ain't so bad after all.

Ethan turned to bid adieu to the skeletal remains of what must have been this hat's last host before he ironically took over its form in this world. He scurried out, propelling Theodore forward with unhindered glee. Oh, it felt good to actually run again!

Ethan Hawke made a vow then and there, in the dark depths of this new world he'd just be reborn into:

From now on, I'm gonna be the one in control. I'm gonna live this life for me, and make damn sure that the world knows my name. Onward, Theodore! We've got a realm out there full of flesh-bags just waitin' to be possessed!

And Theodore, having no choice in the matter, ran headfirst into the dark.

 

[IronLung]

Ethan-the-hat drove Theodore-the-rat through the dark shafts of the mine he'd woken up in, following the scintillating scents that his new host's eyes showed him.

He quickly worked out the stats of the rat – classic RPG stuff, no problems there. The skills too – they were self-explanatory. When he activated [Skitter] he got a quick little boost of speed. When he activated [Bite], he felt his new baby-blade teeth bare themselves for an attack.

You ain't the strongest, Theo, Ethan thought, hoping that some semblance of his host's consciousness was there to hear his praise. But you make up for it in speed…I'd probably do a marathon of this place if it would do anything to increase your skills.

Ethan was quickly realizing that this world – wherever it was – certainly didn't run on Bethesda RPG rules. He drove Theo on and on through the dilapidated remains of the shaft, finding broken pieces of machinery and mining equipment, and his [Skitter] skill didn't increase one bit.

Mr System? Ethan asked his enigmatic menu. Care to give me the low-down on how I boost my furry little host's skills?

In order to improve skills, one must harness [Spirit Cores]

And let me guess: that means killing, right?

For you, yes. You are classless.

You are level-less

You are only a [Hat] who is now worn by a [Rat {Lvl 1}]

How else shall you occupy your time?

I'll have you know I had plenty of hobbies and interests back on good ol' earth. Come to think of it, I hope my Crunchyroll subscription wasn't set to auto renew…

Ethan's pressing concern was put to rest as he finally came upon the site where all scents converged. In a new shaft, skittering around an overturned mine-crate, was a cabal of five rats - each one of a similar shape and size to him.

We just found our first targets, Theodore. Ready for action?

Having literally no say in the matter, Theodore merely blinked his dead-eyes and scampered forward.

[Skill Activated: Hide]

Ethan kept to the shadows, embracing the deepest recesses of the shaft's darkness as though he was born to it. He crept round the edges of the rat assembly until he saw one of them sniff the air and come towards him, interested to meet the new arrival.

His mates seem distracted by whatever's in that mine cart. Should be easy pickings.

He felt Theodore's spirit wrestle against him ever so slightly as their unsuspecting victim stood on its tiny legs and sniffed the air again, its eyes unable to pick out the stalker hiding in the shadows before it.

Oh, Theo, Ethan mumbled. This is no time for nostalgia. Listen, you help me and I'll help you. We're gonna level you up till you're the strongest rat that's ever scurried around these parts!

Ethan moved his host back, kicking some stones outside the shaft in order to draw the unsuspecting rat further away from his friends. The rat took the bait, not noticing its stalking cousin slowly creeping towards its back, eyes trained on its furry neck.

Now!

[Bite: Activated]

Sneak Attack Bonus!

DMG: x2

Theodore's teeth shone in the dark and sank into his cousin rat's neck with pinpoint precision. Ethan forced him to bite down until the blood of his victim clotted every fang, and only when the creature went limp did Ethan withdraw back into the dusk, just in time to see another rat who'd heard all the commotion scurry towards his fallen brother.

Just call me – well, us – 'Ratman'. Greatest assassin of…this world. 'Cept instead of a bar-code on the back of your head, you've got me.

Ethan wasn't sure if Theo got the reference. But, as he flexed his little limbs, curled his tail, and made for his next victim, Ethan thought it probably didn't matter either way.

…

[Rat {LVL 1}]

Status: {Possessed} by [Hat] {Legendary}

[Spirit Cores: 6]

In the wake of his mass-rat murder, Ethan prospected his stats and skills with his newly acquired Spirit Cores.

I get the main idea, he mused as he picked pieces of blood-clotted fur from between his teeth. Levelling in this world works on a kind of 'point-buy' system. For every Spirit Core I have, I can spend it to increase stats and skills.

Congratulations!

You have understood the basics of this world's leveling process

Don't patronize me, Ethan mumbled to his sarcastic little menu screen. I'm on a roll, here.

He looked through his stats and skills, realizing quickly that the current costs to increase stat points was only one Spirit Core, while the cost to increase [Skills] was much higher.

And I'm gonna hazard a guess that the cost gets bigger with every upgrade I give myself or my host…otherwise I could just kill fifty rats in this place and make myself a walking, furry little HP tank right now.

Ethan decided to test out his theory, increasing the HP of his reliable (and hopefully not too mentally scarred) little host by a single pip.

Host: Theodore the Rat is now a {Rat: Level 2}

[HP: +1]

[HP: 11/11]

[Spirit Cores] to Increase: 2

Current [Spirit Cores: 3]

Gotcha, Ethan nodded, bloody specks of his enemy's dried blood flying from his flaring nostril. Looks like I've got a lot of work to do here before I'm ready for the outside world. Then again…I'm betting there's stronger monsters in here than you, Theo. No offence, but I'd rather not stay a rat for the duration of my stay here…which looks like it's gonna be pretty long.

You have no idea

Why am I here, anyway? Ethan asked, possessed by a sudden urge to know what he admitted should have been a question he asked a long time ago.

You are [INFORMATION REDACTED]

You are a [Hat]

That sounds…super cryptic. What about my old life? I had…y'know, stuff going on.

…

You would really wish to return to your home?

Don't take that tone with me, Ethan commanded – the single eye on his rim blinking in complete denial while his host merely stood, staring at the fallen rats and their gradually pooling blood. I'll have you know that the me back on earth was an upstanding, model citizen. Sure, maybe I was unemployed. Sure, maybe I only went to that birthday party to get me some grub. Sure, maybe no one invited me, and sure, maybe I choked to death on the first thing I ate. But…still…it was…something…

Shit. Can't even convince myself, never mind this snarky bastard…

Ethan instead turned his attention back to the reality of the mine shaft, observing his fallen kills with no small degree of satisfaction. Ordinarily, he'd have probably vomited at the sight before him – five once living rats torn apart by teeth that he owned – but he was strangely unperturbed by the whole thing. In fact, gulping down their blood felt as natural as filling himself with Mountain Dew during a midnight gaming session.

You know something? I think I might have found my true calling. Maybe I'm an assassin at heart.

You are probably just a sociopath.

I think that's unfair, Ethan mumbled back as he drove Theodore towards the overturned mine cart. Weren't you the one who told me that killing's the only way to power up in this world? Pot. Kettle, Mr System.

A sane human would have spent a long time adjusting to such bloody murder.

You, however, are a [Hat]

A [Hat] has no moral compass

Again – unfair. I'm still me, even if I am a dainty little hat. I wasn't some batshit crazy brute in my last life.

You are exactly what you need to be

Nothing more

Nothing less

Ethan ignored the System's increasing cryptic (and downright rude) messages, and instead investigated the mine cart that had the fallen rats so intrigued. Right now, he saw nothing but the fuzzy outline of an object – it was like a thin sheen of camera static covered it, denying him the ability to comprehend what the thing even was, never mind what it could do.

I mean, it looks like a sword, Ethan observed. But who the hell can be sure in a new world? System! Skill me up! Let's pull up my Appraisal.

[Skill Activated]: Appraisal (Rank F)

You can identify plain items with the (Common) identifier

Ethan watched as the fuzzy static slowly dissipated into the dank air to reveal the item that had the rats so interested:

[Item: Silver Dagger] {Common}

DMG (Base): 6-12 (Piercing)

SPECIAL: Especially effective against Undead

Now that's a shiny we could use, eh Theo? Too bad it's not exactly rat-shaped. Lack of opposable thumbs might just be our downfall, my furry friend.

As Theodore-the-rat-wearing-a-demonic-wizard-hat looked at his stubby claws with shame, the System decided to chime in with something useful for once.

As your System, I am compelled to offer you information that might aid you in your exploits.

Ethan smirked. He could almost feel the thing sigh at the restraints its programming placed on it. He wondered for a moment who the 'programmer' could be…and if he or she was watching him down here, right now…

[Skill: Transmogrification] (Grade F)

This skill allows you to morph an item to better suit your current [Host]

As Ethan read these simple words, desire formed in his heartless, threadbare chest. Desire that was strong enough to look passed the System menu screen and watch as the dagger slowly altered its shape before him, shrinking and filing itself into a thin silver tooth that slotted quite nicely into one of Theodore's front fangs.

Oh, System…Ethan chuckled. You shouldn't have.

No. I really shouldn't.

I've finally made it, Theodore, Ethan sniggered, checking his new sleek weapon out in a muddy puddle beside the cart. I'm fabulous. We're fabulous.

Ethan liked to think that somewhere in their shared mindscape, his little rat friend was also appreciating his new silver tooth. So many things in this little place the guy called home were eminently pierceable, after all. And he'd just gotten the upgrade of a lifetime.

The thought then resolved in Ethan's head as he moved away from the minecart, wondering who had left the silver blade there in the first place.

Theo, he told his obedient host. I've just settled on our first quests. One: find out what happened to the miners who left their equipment here. I'm betting their boss had some proper decent loot. And two: make us the most OP rat who ever lived.

 

[IronLung]

Reborn as a Demon Hat Books 1-3 is now being published through Podium publishing as a paperback, ebook, and audiobook through Kindle Unlimited.

To comply with Kindle's rules, the story has been removed from QQ.

You can find it here in all formats. Preorders available!

Reborn as a Demon Hat: A Monster Evolution isekai adventure

Thank you for all your kind comments, critiques, and thoughts on the story. Today was the day I finished book 4 and put Ethan's tale to rest. If you'd like to read all 290 chapters of the story now, you can do so through the Patreon.

 

[IronLung]

New chapter coming soon. In the meantime, I added about 600 words to chapter 1 and edited a few elements. I would love some feedback on the changes. Specifically, I included Ethan's backstory before entering the world of Argwyll.

 

[IronLung]

Been messing around with Demon Hat covers for when I get the story ready for daily uploads. What do you guys think of these cover designs?

 

[IronLung]

Quick update everyone, last Wednesday Demon Hat went LIVE on Royal Road.

This is the place where you'll be finding its daily updates from now on. The book is #12 trending across the entire site and I couldn't have done it without all of you. You gave me hope and motivation - showing me Ethan's story was one worth telling.

The reason for the move to Royal Road is because LitRPG/Isekai is the main genre there. Royal Road is the place to be if you want to continue following Ethan the Hat's adventures in Argwyll! Book 1 is already finished. It's gonna be a wild ride and I'd love to see you there.

The novel is new and improved, with tons more content, extra chapters that flesh out the lore of Argwyll and Ethan's companions, more insight into Ethan's own backstory, and edited with help from my wonderful readers like you.

Any follows, ratings, and reviews you can bestow upon the novel on Royal Road does wonders for its visibility and extends the lifeblood of the story. I hope to see you there!

Link: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/94449/reborn-as-a-demon-hat-a-monster-evolution-litrpg

Alternatively, if you would like to read all available chapters right now, you can support the story through the Patreon and get access to +25 advanced chapters for $10 (or 7 for $5). Link here: https://www.patreon.com/IronLungwrites