RomComs are garbage, and the stories are bullshit.
You smile as she walks down the aisle...
You smile as she walks down the aisle...
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RomCom Bullshit [One-Shot, Original/Crossover]
- Thread starter heralding_bubble
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heralding_bubble
Liar and Hypocrite
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RomComs are garbage, and the stories are bullshit.
You smile as she walks down the aisle. She's beautiful, of course, but you can't help but worry. Her father gives a pat on her arm, and a gentle smile before moving next to his wife. Her father liked you, thankfully, but her mother... A sign of things to come, you'd worried.
The airways are silent, for now.
She walks next to you in front of the priest, and lifts her veil. The priest does her speaking, her friends say a few nice words to her and some thinly veiled vitriol for you, and all goes as they should... Except, you can see it. Her smile is troubled, and she's anxious with doubt.
He'd met with her, then.
Then, it is time for your vows. You speak of your honest love for her, and her happiness, and true hopes of a good future together. When it's her turn, she hesitates.
Movement is reported in your earpiece. The first time, five years ago, was parachuting from a crashing helicopter. The second, beaching a cruise liner fifty metres from the ceremony. This time he's riding a horse, drunk. You don't even want to know how he managed to get a horse to the island.
She fumbles through her vows, but then the priest suddenly does the "speak your piece or shove it up your ass" part which wasn't supposed to be a thing precisely because he chooses that exact moment to crash through the six centuries old stained glass window. Which you know you're going to end up paying for. It was the same the last time, and the time before that.
You kick up the obligatory fuss when he professes his love to her, that he's sorry for his mistakes, he'll be a better man if she just gives him another chance, blah blah fucking blah. You end up with a busted lip, a shiner, torn off sleeve, and minus one friend when you realise your former bestie boi conspired with the maid of honour for the priest to do her "one last chance to speak against the marriage" speech.
The next few hours is a bit of a blur, but you end up sitting on a hill overlooking the now nicely burning church and sipping some nice whiskey your could-have father-in-law had gotten you. It's a pity, really, you liked him.
"Good evening mister Lancer. I'm sorry for your loss."
You turn around. A man, sitting in a wheelchair. You offer him the bottle of whiskey, but he declines. "I'm afraid my bones couldn't take it." You offer your sympathies, and ask him what does he want. Oh, and who is he anyway?
"My name is Elijah Price, and I have a proposition for you..."
Inspired by discussions about RomCom protags/"heroes" being assholes who compulsively hound after/stalk/harass their lost loves who'd moved on, and fuck things up for said lost love and the "antagonist".
And remembering the 2000 movie Unbreakable is a thing. That's the crossover.
Written in maybe 40 minutes on a phone.
You smile as she walks down the aisle. She's beautiful, of course, but you can't help but worry. Her father gives a pat on her arm, and a gentle smile before moving next to his wife. Her father liked you, thankfully, but her mother... A sign of things to come, you'd worried.
The airways are silent, for now.
She walks next to you in front of the priest, and lifts her veil. The priest does her speaking, her friends say a few nice words to her and some thinly veiled vitriol for you, and all goes as they should... Except, you can see it. Her smile is troubled, and she's anxious with doubt.
He'd met with her, then.
Then, it is time for your vows. You speak of your honest love for her, and her happiness, and true hopes of a good future together. When it's her turn, she hesitates.
Movement is reported in your earpiece. The first time, five years ago, was parachuting from a crashing helicopter. The second, beaching a cruise liner fifty metres from the ceremony. This time he's riding a horse, drunk. You don't even want to know how he managed to get a horse to the island.
She fumbles through her vows, but then the priest suddenly does the "speak your piece or shove it up your ass" part which wasn't supposed to be a thing precisely because he chooses that exact moment to crash through the six centuries old stained glass window. Which you know you're going to end up paying for. It was the same the last time, and the time before that.
You kick up the obligatory fuss when he professes his love to her, that he's sorry for his mistakes, he'll be a better man if she just gives him another chance, blah blah fucking blah. You end up with a busted lip, a shiner, torn off sleeve, and minus one friend when you realise your former bestie boi conspired with the maid of honour for the priest to do her "one last chance to speak against the marriage" speech.
The next few hours is a bit of a blur, but you end up sitting on a hill overlooking the now nicely burning church and sipping some nice whiskey your could-have father-in-law had gotten you. It's a pity, really, you liked him.
"Good evening mister Lancer. I'm sorry for your loss."
You turn around. A man, sitting in a wheelchair. You offer him the bottle of whiskey, but he declines. "I'm afraid my bones couldn't take it." You offer your sympathies, and ask him what does he want. Oh, and who is he anyway?
"My name is Elijah Price, and I have a proposition for you..."
Inspired by discussions about RomCom protags/"heroes" being assholes who compulsively hound after/stalk/harass their lost loves who'd moved on, and fuck things up for said lost love and the "antagonist".
And remembering the 2000 movie Unbreakable is a thing. That's the crossover.
Written in maybe 40 minutes on a phone.