Secret Kingdom Crisis on Infinite Singularities

[OverMaster]

Fate Grand Order is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

All other characters and franchises shown through this story are the intellectual property of their respective copyright holders.

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Secret Kingdom Crisis on Infinite Singularities.

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Prologue: A Woman's Work is Never Done.

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Come all who roam, both old and young,
And listen to my song,
I'll tell you of a circumstance,
That will not keep you long;
I saw a man the other day,
As savage as a Turk,
And he was grumbling at his wife
And said she did no work.
So men, if you would happy be,
Don't grumble at your wife so;
For no man can imagine
What a woman has to do.
- Everyman's Book of British Ballads.

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"I feel," Fujimaru Ritsuka said after a few moments, "that we've had this conversation before."

Leonardo Da Vinci, Caster, the Universal Genius, blinked at her curiously from across the large desk in her office. "Why do you say that?"

Ritsuka sighed, pinched the bridge of her small nose, and shook her head. "No. It's nothing. Forget it, Sensei. It's just that, well, so many crisis have happened that they've come to blur together."

"Ah, yes, one after another, isn't that right?" Leonardo laughed. "I suppose I missed most of them during all the time I was gone, but don't worry, now that I've been summoned again against all odds and all logic, I'll support you as capably as ever!"

Then she took a moment to frown viciously, pull a dart out from under the desk, and toss it at the dartboard on her wall, with Rasputin's face on it. It hit Rasputin's portrait between the eyes.

Mash, who was standing next to Ritsuka, blinked. "Uh, please don't put it like that, Sensei. Da Vinci-chan did a remarkable job as well during your absence, she might get offended should she overhear you..."

"Believe me, I am!" said a huffing young voice from right out the door.

"If you've got the time to eavesdrop, please use it to finish it with that floor! I want to see my reflection on it!" Caster Leonardo raised her voice.

Mash, Ritsuka, and Fou all sweatdropped.

"That's rather callous treatment for a child who was just saved from a limited lifespan and who worked hard to carry on with your work," Ritsuka summed it up.

The adult Gioconda waved a hand at her. "That child is also me, don't I have the right to be harsh on myself?" Before anyone, Rider Da Vinci included, could protest that it was NOT the same thing, she went on, "Anyway! These new irregular realities need careful research and exploration before we can sort anything out with the Mages Association!"

Ritsuka's shoulders drooped. "Yes, we HAVE had this conversation before. Right before the Pseudo-Singularities! And then came the Lostbelts! And then the Order Call! Aaaarrrghhh! Does this ever end?!"

Leonardo looked at her. "Well, fine, if you prefer it, we can just set a new Master and you can be sent immediately to deal with the Mages Association," she said after a beat. "I wish you good luck with your-"

"On second thought, I think I'll take my risks with these new worlds or timelines or whatever they are, no matter the dumb name you wanna give them this time," Ritsuka interrupted her.

"That's the thing, we aren't even certain they are akin to Singularities or Lostbelts yet. From what little we have been able to receive, they seem closer to traditional depictions of 'alternate dimensions' in pop culture, coming from beyond the range of possibilities within our multiverse, if you would call it so," Da Vinci said, crossing her long legs.

"Meaning?" Mash asked.

Da Vinci shrugged. "Anything goes. Or might go. Thankfully, we more Servants than ever now. We can Rayshift up to four of them along with you at a time, so you only have to choose carefully before each mission... well, you know the drift by now, don't you?"

Ritsuka facepalmed. "It's like I'm trapped in a never ending loop..."

Leonardo blinked before pressing a button on the caller of her desk. "Director Goredolf? Please call the Mages Association and tell them that Ritsuka is-"

"I'm not!" Fujimaru pushed the Servant's hand off the button, using the hand not still pressed on her face. "When did I say such a thing?!"

"What kind of alternate world would we be exploring first, Sensei?" Mash asked.

Da Vinci smiled very pleasantly. "Oh, it'll be an ideal destination for a weeaboo like you, Mash!"

"I'm not a weeaboo."

"You sure aren't, you only use Japanese terms in your everyday conversation to endear yourself to Ritsuka," the Mona Lisa agreed. "It's a Japanese junior high school for girls near 2003 A.D."

Ritsuka looked from between her fingers. "Really? Well, I'll blend in without any effort, at least."

Da Vinci arched an eyebrow. "Are you sure? You already were high schooled when you joined Chaldea, and that was a few years ago."

Ritsuka grinned and ran a hand through her orange hair. "I've kept my youthful good looks through all these years of warfare!"

Mash and Da Vinci looked at her silently.

"What?!" Ritsuka said.

"Your breasts haven't grown, at the very least," Da Vinci said.

"And... And you haven't gotten any taller either..." Mash stammered.

"Fou fou," Fou said.

"Aaarghh!" Ritsuka said. "I've grown wrinkles and gray hairs all over, haven't I?!" Ritsuka took both hands to her head. "And bags under the eyes, too! But I'm not an ageless Servant! You've worn me down, man! This is all on you!"

Da Vinci blinked. "But, if you want us to, we can send you to rest at the Mages-"

"You aren't sending me over to be dissected by those jerks!" Ritsuka waved a pointer finger at her.

Mash sighed. "Senpai, it's exactly that kind of overreacting attitude why you have aged so badly."

"Don't agree with me, please!" Ritsuka demanded.

"I can go!" said Kiyohime's voice from right out of the office, eager as ever. "I'm so very youthful looking, and Japanese, nobody will notice anything weird about me, Anchin-sama!"

"Hey, you," Rider Da Vinci's voice said. "You're messing up my floor with those dirty sandals of yours."

 

[Absque Zer0]

"Hey, you," Rider Da Vinci's voice said. "You're messing up my floor with those dirty sandals of yours."

Click to shrink...

"She walked all over it with her dirty sandals! Over my crisp, white floor that I just cleaned!" -Da Vinci-chan, probably.