Self insert tears characters a new asshole (multifandom)

[Davout]

Have you ever read or watched a scene in which the character was so pathetic you prayed every single god that you knew may or may not exist just for the slight chance that you may reincarnate in this specific world after your death to beat the shit out of the fucking wimp crying for no other fucking reason than being a little pussy.
Well me too, I also don't take my meds, they make me less funny.
I promise that everything I shall write will be my purest thoughts with only my unfiltered autism seeping through my keyboard, with no beta, no proofreading and English not being my native language. Or as one with a big brain would say, "fun".



Chapter 1 : Sasuke telling Kakashi he does not know what it means to see the people closest to you die.

-"Sasuke, do you have any idea what it is to actually feel loss? Your whole family died yes that is absolutely tragic and you've been traumatized that is fair, however don't you fucking dare use that as a shield to justify your pathetic behavior and insecurity. You talk about it like you give a shit about your family, you've cried for a day and then the only thing on your mind was to kill the only thing you have in your family, by all means necessary.

The first thing that came to your mind is that you should absolutely close yourself and be a pathetic egoistical shit that doesn't have the skills or talent your infamous brother had. When you entered the academy he'd already left it, when you graduated he was already feared on the battlefield, what about you? What have you done? What have you achieved?

You barely are a functional ninja, you are an okay genin we could easily be well without and a constant risk of kidnapping from other villages to get your pathetic bloodline that gives you such an ego. The only thing resulting from that is the already criminally short staffed anbu is forced to do even more babysitting than with the orange dumbass.

Talking about the orange dumbass, do you think he knows what it means to lose everyone he loved or everyone that loved him, have you ever thought about that? No you didn't, because you thought that was beneath you yet as you are now if Naruto wasn't autistic he would play tennis with your head. He never even felt love, ask him how many times anyone ever hugged him, you want to know the answer? He probably doesn't know or doesn't remember, not only because he is a dumbass but because his only hugs are probably the ones from his dead parents which he does not even know the names of.

But it's a good question right? What do I know after all, about loss and pain, just an innocent question, do you know anyone that bears the name Hatake in this village or anyone by that matter? Because they have all been killed, it used to be a whole ass clan and now I am the only one left, do you know what happened to my father? He killed himself when I was still in the academy, shunned by everyone he loved because he decided to save them and not send them to their death for the mission.

Have you ever seen me with anyone else being genuinely happy and not my snarky usual self? Have you seen me be attached to anyone? You haven't, my closest friends were part of my genin team are all dead, because I was a ninja in the greatest of times for ninjas, the age in which the best changed landscapes, where our identity was again reinforced by our victory, you've studied it in the academy and your teacher probably looked longingly at the state of the leaf village from that time. That victory? That famed victory? I played an instrumental part in it, I was a genin under the fourth hokage to be.

You'd think I was safe with him as my mentor yet do you know of any of his "cute little students"? One died after being wounded in battle, we were in a cave that was about to collapse and he pushed me off as a rock was about to fall, it fell on him but I escaped thanks to him. he saved my life, sacrificed his and gave me his only working sharingan because he'd lost his other eye not too long before. That day he made me swear that I would look after our third teammate and that no matter what I would not let her die.

He loved her, with all his heart he loved her and they would have made a wonderful couple but they were robbed of that, of their future, their childhood, their happiness, everything. She became the most important person in the world for me, one of the rare people I still held close to my heart. So Sasuke I will ask you this question, do you even know the first letter of her name?

You do not, her name was Rin and she was captured by enemy ninjas, their plan was to seal the three tails inside of her with a faulty seal, release her in Konoha along with that beast so that Konoha never stands again. Thankfully we learned of their plans, but it was too late, they'd already sealed the three tails in her, I didn't know that so I rushed to help her, together we fought the enemy anbu team but then as I had my chidori ready to take another one of them, she impaled herself into it. With a smile.

Can you even imagine how I felt after that? Do you have any idea what I went through? My signature move, my best move, the one that in a fight holds all my hopes and dreams for victory, forever tied to the move that impaled the apple of my eye, the one person that made life worth it for me.

At that point I really thought about ending it all, you know just one well placed strike of the kunai and all of the suffering is over, so simple even a genin could do it. Even then when I died, what would I say in the afterlife to my fallen friend with whom I'd sworn I would protect her at all cost, he'd have seen her come there before I did, and he would know I killed her because he is watching and even know he probably is watching.

I became afraid of even killing myself not because I cared about my life but because I didn't want to face him. I absolutely abhorred life at that time and honestly I still do. But my teacher, the now fourth hokage still tried to lift up my spirits, to keep my mind off dark thoughts through training and missions. He approved of my entrance into the anbu despite my frankly awful mental state, much to the horror of the yamanaka psychologist.

He died, you know how he died everyone did but he fucking died because the nine tails was destroying Konoha. He died a hero and I was completely alone, everyone I had known and loved dead one by one. Do you know about any of that Sasuke?

And that sharingan you have barely just acquired has photographic memory coming along with it as a premium package and since mine is constantly active I remember everything that happened, every second of it haunts me daily, even sleep can't stop the visions, every night I have nightmares about it. You might have been stuck in an illusion for hours but I have been stuck with those memories for years.

So don't you ever dare talk about loss with me ever again you little ungrateful fuck, the only reason I bothered to teach you was because I had to so that I could teach the other two, I would rather have a thousand Sakura with half of her talent than a single percent of you.


Okay I'm done if you have any suggestions including who I should do next (fair warning I might have no idea about the character you are talking about) or if you want to send me death threats I am completely on board with new suggestions! You can dm me on discord or review/comment depends on where the fuck I post it.
My discord → dvut
or you can just talk to me in shiro's discord (please don't put it in trashing trash taste I will be very hurt.