Seriously. Have You TRIED the Cookies?

[Hilight]

I'd probably walk by Yoda and ask why the clones have behavior inhibitor chips in their heads or something to that effect. The has to be something he can let slip so the Jedi actually take a thorough look at their new slaves.

 

[mango363]

Any chance the SI can float the idea of the control chips to Jocasta? Seems like a logical conclusion to the question of how the obedience/programming is achieved, which should obviously be a question the Council should be asking right now. Tftc

 

[HughJass]

As an author I would understand not wanting to deviate so far from the plot that you're forced to build your own setting from near scratch, but with all that Ben knows why not be a bit more proactive with someone to potentially improve things? Give hints to Yoda or Mace that there is a Sith on Corresaunt or something. Impress upon them they shouldn't tip anyone off like the chancellor *cough cough*. Help Anakin not to be afraid of prophecy or dreams like seeing his wife die.

On a smaller scale, the Jedi absolutely suck as generals and commanders which is why so many of them die in the Battle of Geonosis. Why not try to find a way to prevent mass casualties? Feels like the MC is just walking into genocide by sitting around like this.

 

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 16: Jedi Time Out

If hell exists in the Star Wars galaxy, I'm convinced it looks exactly like the Jedi Council Chamber: twelve chairs, twelve Masters, twelve synchronized Disappointment Faces aimed squarely at me.

I stand in the center of the room like a kid called to the principal's office—except instead of doodling on walls or sneaking snacks, my crime is… sending family updates. To my aunt. And my brother. A little treason-flavored if you squint, apparently.

The High Council does not squint. The High Council glares.

Mace Windu stares down from his floating chair like I'm some particularly offensive traffic infraction he's been forced to adjudicate. He clears his throat with the solemnity of a man preparing to sentence me to death by paperwork.

"Ben Kryze," he begins, and I swear I can hear capital letters in his voice. "Communication breaches. Unauthorized holo-exchanges. Deception." He pauses exactly long enough for dramatic effect. "You are hereby placed on probation."

There it is. The guillotine drops.

I resist the urge to salute ironically. Barely. I always knew this day would come. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Must be the will of the Force. Still, maybe I can get some mitigation here.

But before I can even open my mouth to defend myself, Master Yoda leans forward, ears angling like twin judge's gavels. He squints at me—squints, hard—like I personally keyed his starfighter and then blamed it on a Wookiee.

"Warned, you were," he says, cane tapping the floor once, twice. "Attachment… dangerous it is."

I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid blurting, Attachment is literally why half this Council exists, including me, because that feels like an argument best saved for when Master Windu is not in the room.

Also because Obi-Wan is sitting right behind Yoda, being aggressively neutral.

I mean aggressively. My dear maybe-probably-father is sitting in his seat like a statue sculpted out of polite British denial. Hands folded. Back straight. Expression serene. Except for one tiny muscle twitching at the edge of his jaw that screams:

I am going to pretend I know nothing about your crimes, son, please for the love of the Force do not drag me into this.

And honestly? Fair.

But that doesn't mean I'm wrong, either. You know how many Jedi were born without fucking being involved? One. Anakin Skywalker. And the Council didn't even want the little Tatooine slave boy!

Bunch of hypocrites.

Knight Quinlan Vos has had more lovers than General Grevious had arms. Master Mundi married a whole harem. And it's not like Baby Yoda sprouted from a hydroponic vat.

Meanwhile, I'm just standing here thinking: I didn't commit treason! I sent family updates! You know—normal, harmless things like:

"Hey Aunt Bo, I'm alive! Also, the Temple food still sucks."

But apparently this violates the sacred Jedi protocols of Not Having People You Care About.

Windu continues reading from his invisible script. "Your probation will include the following restrictions." He checks something on a datapad, though I suspect he memorized the list hours ago purely so he could recite it with maximum gravitas.

"One: No off-world missions."

Cool. Wasn't going anywhere anyway.

"Two: No external communications."

Rude.

"Three: Daily reflection hours."

Ah, supervised brooding.

"Four: Assigned community service tasks, at the discretion of Temple staff."

I blink. "So… chores," I say. Out loud. It slips out before I can stop it. "Ah yes. The ancient Jedi punishment."

Half the Council sighs in unison.

Literally in unison.

It's like they rehearsed it.

Even Plo Koon, who is usually the nice one, shakes his head in a way that feels vaguely parental. Ki-Adi-Mundi leans back like this is giving him a stress migraine. Shaak Ti pinches the bridge of her nose. Depa Billaba closes her eyes and maybe prays for strength. Even Kit Fisto's smile dims by two degrees, which is basically a tragedy.

And Yoda? He thwacks his cane again, muttering something in Yodish that I'm pretty sure translates to "Disaster child, he is."

Obi-Wan finally speaks, his voice calm and annoyingly reasonable. "Ben… perhaps a period of structured discipline will help you reflect on the consequences of your choices."

Translation: Son. Stop talking.

Mace continues, voice flat as Tatooine. "Your behavior jeopardized the Order's neutrality."

"Neutrality?" I blurt. "How am I—" I chop my own sentence in half when Windu raises one eyebrow in a way that triggers my survival instincts. "Right. Yes. I jeopardized. Very jeopardous. Mega-jeopardous. Continue."

Fantastic. Now I'm inventing words in front of the people who could legally ban me from touching a lightsaber until I'm twenty.

Saesee Tiin clears his throat. "Knight Kenobi, you were aware your padawan—"

"I am not his Padawan," I say reflexively, because I will die before acknowledging the Order's unofficial assumption that Obi-Wan is my dad. It's completely valid, but he has to admit it first. That way, we can all go "no shit!"

Oh, and also his Padawan is Space Jesus.

"—your initiate," Saesee amends, "was engaging in illicit correspondence?"

Obi-Wan's eye twitches again.

"No," he says, sounding exactly like a man who is very aware but has decided pretending otherwise is healthier for everyone. "I was not."

Yoda hums. Windu's expression remains granite. Plo Koon murmurs something about "troubling patterns."

My brain starts screaming because I recognize the energy in the room—this is the same vibe as when adults decide They Are Disappointed In You but also they're too Jedi to yell.

Which somehow makes it worse.

Much worse.

Windu leans back. "Do you have anything you wish to say before sentencing concludes?"

I absolutely do. I have so many things to say. None of them are wise, but when has that ever stopped me?

I raise my hand like I'm answering a school question. "So, hypothetical scenario—"

"No," Windu says instantly.

"But you didn't even hear it!"

"I do not need to." He gestures to the doors. Damn Shatterpoint, OP space power bullshit.. "Your probation begins immediately."

Well. That's that.

I bow, because I like living, and because everyone expects it, and because bending at the waist gives me a few seconds to swallow the huge wave of irritation boiling up behind my ribs. When I straighten, twelve pairs of eyes are still boring holes into me.

"I understand, Masters," I say in the most respectful tone I can manage.

Which is… passable. Probably.

Then I turn on my heel, the doors hiss open, and as I step into the hallway I mutter under my breath:

"This is fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine."

The doors slide shut behind me with the softest, most judgmental fwip I've ever heard in my life.

...​

Everything is not fine.

This is outrageous.

It's unfair.

I storm down the hallway like an angry mop. I don't even mean to stomp, but the Temple floors are too damn polished, so each step makes this loud slap that echoes off the walls like I'm throwing a toddler tantrum. Which I guess I am. Except I'm twelve, so it's more respectable. Probably.

Probation. Actual probation.

I didn't duel a senator, I didn't steal a transport, I didn't even blow anything up this time. I sent messages.

Messages! To family! You know, those people the Council pretends Jedi don't have but absolutely do, because otherwise how is the Temple not extinct already?

Nope. No thinking about them. Not after Windu's "we will be monitoring your reflection hours" like he wasn't secretly enjoying telling a child they're grounded.

Fine. Whatever. First task: go to the meditation hall like a good little near-Padawan and sit there for an hour.

I march in like I'm entering a battlefield.

...​

The Meditation Hall smells like incense and smug authority. It's dim and quiet—the sort of quiet that feels judgmental. A dozen initiates sit peacefully in their little circles of serenity.

I flop down onto my mat cross-legged, arms stiff at my sides. My back pops. My soul pops. I close my eyes because that's what you do here. Be calm. Be centered. Be mindful. Blah blah blah.

Thirty seconds pass.

Forty.

A full minute.

My brain: hey what if we think about everything we're NOT supposed to think about?

Me: NO.

Brain: okay but what if we do?

I exhale way too loudly, earning a shhh from some kid who looks seven. Seven! I have been shushed by a toddler with a braid longer than his attention span.

I inhale again. Slow. Deep. Even.

And then, without meaning to—

I start humming.

Very softly.

Dun… dun dun-dun… dun dun-dun…

The Imperial March.

Yes, I know it hasn't technically been written yet. Doesn't matter. It lives in my soul.

Another initiate cracks open one eye at me. I smile serenely, like the angel I obviously am.

He scoots away.

Within five minutes, I've mentally ranked every Council member by how quickly they'd die in a horror movie. (Yoda survives. Obviously. Windu dies because he refuses to run.)

Within ten minutes, I've come up with a new lightsaber kata that involves aggressively pointing at people.

Within fifteen minutes, I'm lying flat on my back staring at the ceiling like I'm manifesting a Force storm out of spite.

The attendant watches me the way one watches a malfunctioning toaster.

"Ben," she whispers, "try to empty your mind."

"Oh trust me," I whisper back, "I've been trying to empty it for years. This is as good as it gets."

She gives me a look that screams I'm writing this down in your file.

Mercifully, the hour ends.

I spring up like a freed prisoner and salute the room.

"Namaste," I say, and leave before anyone can throw a cushion at me.

...​

Next stop: the training hall.

A stack of janitorial supplies waits for me. A bucket. A rag. Cleaning fluid. A droid that chirps unpleasantly like it also hates its job.

An instructor hands me a datapad labeled: DROID MAINTENANCE — BASIC CLEANING

I nod as though I'm going to follow instructions.

I am not.

I pick up the rag and begin wiping down a scuffed training droid. It's one of those spherical ones that zaps people for fun. I mutter to myself, because talking to machines counts as meditation in my book:

"You know, I wonder if binary has swear words."

The droid whirs.

I tap it once. Twice. "Come on, buddy. You can tell me."

It lights up. Emits a curious trill. My curiosity turns into a scientific urge. I poke a diagnostic port with the rag handle.

Suddenly the droid jolts awake like I dared it to.

And then—

It beeps something.

The supervising Knight gasps.

One of the other droids gasps.

I gasp.

"Oh," I whisper. "Binary has a lot of swear words."

The droid rolls forward and starts absolutely shredding every other droid in the hall. Not physically—verbally. Through beeps. Which somehow sounds even worse.

Another droid sputters like it's offended. A third whirls away in disgust. A fourth pretends it didn't hear the insult.

"Shut it down!" the supervisor cries, sprinting toward it.

I take this moment to decide that technically nothing that happened is my fault.

Which means I may quietly back away. Very quietly.

I slip out the side door just as the rogue droid starts dishing out insults about somebody's motherboard.

Not my problem. Probably.

...​

"Ben!" calls a voice as soon as I enter the childcare wing.

The caretaker is a sweet old Mirialan who always smells like cookies. She waves me in with the kind of cheer only someone who's never been attacked by children can possess.

"We're short staffed. Please assist the initiates during playtime."

I look around.

There are at least fifteen toddlers.

Fifteen.

And every single one looks at me like I'm fresh prey.

"Uh," I say. "I don't think—"

It's too late.

I am swarmed.

They latch onto my legs. My arms. One jumps onto my back like a feral Tooka. One brandishes a foam lightsaber that's been sharpened on… something? It gleams. Gleams.

The caretaker claps her hands.

"Children! Today we're playing 'Capture the Sith'!"

They all turn and grin at me.

I die inside.

Before I can protest, someone shrieks, "GET HIM!" and suddenly I'm running for my life.

Foam sabers thunk into my thighs. My ribs. My pride.

A tiny Zabrak tackles me behind the knees. I go down like a sack of womp rats.

They pile on. Six of them. Maybe seven. Hard to count when your face is mashed into a carpet stained with juice boxes.

"I surrender!" I wheeze. "I SURRENDER!"

A toddler sits triumphantly on my chest and pokes my forehead. "Sith defeated."

I lift one hand toward the heavens.

"This is why Sith Lords happen!"

The caretaker gives me a gentle, approving thumbs-up like I did something noble.

I lie there for a moment longer, debating the merits of joining the dark side.

They don't make you do childcare on the dark side. Probably.

...​

My final task of the day: help in the Archives.

I step inside and instantly feel watched by ancient knowledge. And also Jocasta Nu, who has eyes like a hawk and the soul of a standardized test.

"Ben," she says. "You will assist with scroll restoration. Handle everything with extreme care."

"Absolutely," I say.

Ten minutes later I'm reorganizing the entire scroll section by color.

Not age.

Not subject.

Not species origin.

Color.

It looks gorgeous.

The scrolls go from deep umber gold pale buff cream snowy white. It's soothing. It's perfect. It's symmetrical.

Then I hear the sharp inhale of someone discovering a crime.

"Stop that immediately."

I turn around. Jocasta Nu stands there with a look of horror usually reserved for Sith alchemy.

"It's aesthetically superior," I say helpfully.

Her face tightens in a way that suggests she's debating igniting a lightsaber regardless of her rank.

"I will exile you," she says flatly.

I believe her. Wholeheartedly.

She confiscates the scrolls from my hands and points to the door like she's banishing a demon.

I bow.

I flee.

I do not look back.

...​

By the time I reach the hallway, my robes are wrinkled, my brain is fried, someone's toddler spit is drying on my sleeve, and my soul has left my body for greener pastures.

I lean against the wall and drag a hand down my face.

Day one of probation.

One.

I have thirty more.

I groan into my palms.

"…This is going to kill me."

And somewhere, deep in the bowels of the Jedi Temple, a training droid screams an insult in binary that I'm ninety percent sure translates to:

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET.

...​

Ahsoka balanced the paper-wrapped bundle of snacks in one hand as she crossed the courtyard, weaving between meditating initiates and a pair of Knights arguing over whether a lightsaber could be used to sauté vegetables. She didn't slow; she was on a mission. A very important, very compassionate mission.

Delivery of emotional support carbs.

Ben had survived his first day of probation, but from what she'd heard through the grapevine — specifically the "excited gossip" grapevine, which was always the fastest — he'd been attacked by toddlers, disgraced by scrolls, and may or may not have caused a profanity-laced uprising among the cleaning droids.

Which meant he needed snacks. Immediately.

She rounded the corner into the service wing, and there he was: sitting in the middle of his tiny assigned workroom, surrounded by tools and loose wires, brow furrowed with exaggerated concentration as he tinkered with a dust sweeper.

Except "tinkering" was too innocent a word. This was… surgery. Chaotic surgery.

The little cleaning droid whirred, beeped, and suddenly blasted a heroic orchestral DA-DA-DAAAA fanfare before sputtering into static.

Ahsoka blinked once. Twice.

Ben pumped his fist. "Yes! That's the sound I want when it detects dirt. Dramatic. Motivational. Like: behold, filth, your reckoning approaches!"

She sighed, amused despite herself. There was no part of him that understood the concept of "lying low."

"I brought emotional support carbs," she said.

Ben's head snapped up. His eyes lit like she'd just offered salvation itself.

"You saint."

He scrambled over, tripped on a wire, caught himself, and plucked a sweet bun from the bag with the reverence of a man receiving a holy artifact. He took a large, slow bite — so slow she could see the exact moment dopamine entered his bloodstream — and then slumped back against the wall with a groan.

Ahsoka set the rest of the snacks on a crate. "Rough day?"

He pointed at nothing in particular in a gesture of full-body exasperation. "They weaponized toddlers. TODDLERS."

She tried not to laugh. She failed.

"I'm serious," he insisted. "They work in packs. Packs, Ahsoka. They planned my downfall."

She offered him a protein puff. He accepted it like medicine and swallowed with the theatrics of a martyr.

Before she could tease him again, another presence slipped into the doorway — silent, sharp, and slightly rumpled.

Maris.

Her arms were folded. Her hair was doing that thing where half of it obeyed gravity and the other half defied it purely out of spite. Her expression was focused, intense — the kind of look that usually preceded something either incredibly wise or deeply illegal.

She took in the room. The snacks. The dismantled droid. Ben chewing tragically.

"The Jedi are hypocrites," Maris declared.

Ahsoka pinched the bridge of her lekku. "Maris…"

"No, I mean it." Maris stepped fully inside, boots tapping sharply on the stone floor. "If they can't handle a kid talking to his family, what good is this whole 'peacekeeper' thing? Peacekeepers don't cut people off from the people who give them peace."

Ahsoka felt the words hit, hard and uncomfortably true. She tried not to show it. Jedi philosophy was… layered. Complicated. Contradictory. Even she didn't fully understand it, and she'd grown up in the Order.

Ben snorted. "Stop tempting me into quitting."

Maris didn't flinch. "I am tempting."

"Please stop tempting," Ahsoka said, because she could already feel her heart rate climbing at the idea of explaining this to Master Yoda.

Maris adjusted her sleeves with all the authority of someone preparing a closing argument. "I'm just saying—maybe the Jedi wouldn't lose so many people to the dark side if they stopped forbidding anything that makes existence tolerable."

Ahsoka flinched again. Ouch. Accurate. Too accurate.

Ben raised a hand. "Hey, I fully support whatever speech you're giving. But right now? I support snacks more." He reached blindly toward the bag until Ahsoka nudged it closer.

He popped another protein puff into his mouth. "Okay. So. Long story short: I'm on chore duty for the foreseeable future. And I'd like to not die."

Maris crouched beside him. "Then don't follow the schedule."

Ahsoka's montrals buzzed with alarm. "Maris."

"What? It's a stupid schedule. Whoever wrote it hates him."

Ben pointed at himself with both hands. "Yes! Thank you!"

Ahsoka groaned. She hated how easily these two could drag her into trouble. Or maybe she just hated how she rarely resisted.

Maris nudged aside a screwdriver, sat cross-legged, and pulled the datapad containing Ben's assignments closer. "Let's see what we're working with."

Ahsoka sat too, because if she was going to stop them, she needed proximity. Also snacks.

The schedule was… dense. Unreasonable. A masterpiece of passive-aggressive bureaucracy.

Meditation hours. Cleaning rotations. Nursery duty. Archive work. Hallway sweeping. Meal distribution assistance. Laundry. Then back to meditation.

"It's a wonder they didn't add 'renovate the Senate Building by hand,'" Ben muttered.

Ahsoka scanned the list, her montrals tingling with secondhand stress. "I mean… it's structured. The Order likes structure. It's how we teach discipline."

Ben looked at her like she'd said, the Council would never lie to you.

"Ahsoka. They made me reorganize moldy scrolls for two hours."

She opened her mouth to defend the Archives and immediately failed to think of a single positive thing about the Archives besides "quiet."

"Okay," she conceded. "Maybe it's a little much."

Maris smirked. "So we change it."

Ahsoka rubbed her forehead. "We—Maris, we can't just rewrite a probation schedule. That's— that's—"

"Crime?" Ben offered hopefully.

"Punishable?" she countered.

"Revolutionary," Maris said.

Ahsoka stared at her for a long moment. Very long. Her heartbeat thudded like she'd sprinted the length of the Temple.

And then she sighed, shoulders dropping.

She wasn't blind. Ben wasn't hurt because he'd done something evil. He was hurt because the Order had punished kindness. Family. Connection. Whether it was technically "in the rules" didn't make it feel any less wrong.

"Fine," she muttered. "Show me what you want to change."

Maris grinned like someone who had just successfully corrupted a Padawan.

Ben scooted between them, brushing crumbs off his tunic. "Okay, okay. First of all: I'm not doing toddler duty again. Not unless I get hazard pay."

Maris flicked her fingers dismissively. "Delete it."

Ahsoka snatched the datapad back. "We can't delete it. They'll notice."

Maris leaned in. "Then move it. Swap it with something easier."

Ahsoka bit her lip. "…like laundry?"

Ben recoiled. "Laundry is not easier."

Maris took the pad from her. "It is compared to children with weapons."

"Fair point," Ben murmured.

Ahsoka hesitated, then tapped the screen and dragged the "Nursery Assistance" block into a later day. She felt a rush of adrenaline she absolutely should not have been feeling. "Okay. Fine. One change."

Ben cheered silently, arms raised.

"Next," Maris said. "Meditation hours."

Ahsoka stiffened. "We cannot change meditation hours. The Council monitors them."

Ben groaned. "Of course they do. They want to make sure I'm spiritually suffering."

Maris tilted her head. "Do they monitor where you meditate?"

Ahsoka blinked. Oh no. She could see where this was going. "You are not going to meditate on the roof."

Ben's eyes sparked. "I am absolutely meditating on the roof."

Maris changed the location on the schedule.

Ahsoka buried her face in her hands. "We are going to die."

"No," Maris corrected, tapping another block. "Ben will die. You and I will get stern looks."

Ben nodded solemnly. "Sounds about right."

The three of them worked in a huddle, elbows bumping, snacks disappearing steadily, as they rearranged his entire punishment roster into something survivable. The more they did it, the lighter Ben looked. Less weighed down. Less alone.

Ahsoka felt a small warmth unfurl in her chest. Yes, the Order was home. But home wasn't just rules and meditation. It was people. It was support. It was friendship.

Even if that friendship currently involved technically-sort-of-definitely modifying probation documents.

When they finally leaned back, the schedule looked… chaotic. Improper. Brilliant.

Ben whistled. "Wow. I'm going to get arrested."

"Not on my watch," Ahsoka said, surprising herself with how much she meant it.

Maris smirked. "Welcome to the rebellion."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes — but she didn't disagree.

The three of them stared at their handiwork with the satisfaction of conspirators who knew, deep down, they'd regret this later.

For now, though?

It was perfect.

...​

The Temple balcony was quiet at sunset, which should've been Obi-Wan's first warning. Ben Kryze never gravitated to quiet unless he was making the trouble rather than discovering it.

Sure enough, when Obi-Wan stepped outside, the orange light of the lowering Coruscant sun revealed a pair of booted feet sticking out of an access panel under the railing.

A muffled voice drifted out:

"—okay, if I reroute the fail-safes and the ambient light sensors, the whole courtyard will play the Duel of the Fates theme when someone walks by—"

Obi-Wan inhaled. Counted to three. It did not help.

"Ben," he said, with the softness of someone desperately trying not to sound like a parent despite absolutely being one.

Ben jolted so hard he smacked his head on the inside of the panel. "Ow— kriff—"

A moment later he wriggled out like an irritated Tooka, hair sticking up, face smudged with something suspiciously greasy. And, of course, he beamed.

"Master Obi-Dad. Fancy meeting you here."

Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose. "That title is not— I never— Ben, what are you doing?"

Ben held up a screwdriver with the pride of a child offering a dead lizard. "Improving morale."

"I see," Obi-Wan said, though he did not.

Ben scooted aside to show off the gutted maintenance panel, wires everywhere. Obi-Wan was almost impressed. Almost. It took talent to commit this level of unsanctioned engineering.

"You are," Obi-Wan said carefully, "very much not allowed to be touching that."

Ben shrugged. "In fairness, I am technically touching it less than earlier."

Force help him, the boy delivered nonsense with the confidence of a seasoned politician. Obi-Wan flashed back to Anakin telling him, 'Relax, Master, the fire wouldn't have spread if the sprinklers hadn't malfunctioned.'

He was too tired for this.

"Ben," he said, straightening his shoulders into his best-possible Jedi authority posture. "We need to talk."

Ben whipped upright as if bracing for impact. "If this is about snacks in the dorms, Ahsoka started it."

"It is not about snacks."

"Oh. Then I'm definitely innocent."

Obi-Wan exhaled. The sunset cast gold on the Temple stones, painting the scene warm and gentle—completely inappropriate for the conversation he was trying to have.

He began the familiar script. The script he was required to give. The script every Jedi Master had to deliver at least once per month, especially around Skywalkers and Skywalker-adjacent entities.

"Attachment leads to—"

"Disappointment, existential dread, and three-hour lectures," Ben cut in. "Yes, I know."

Obi-Wan blinked. "That is… not quite how the Jedi phrased it."

Ben leaned against the railing, arms folded, posture obnoxiously relaxed. "But accurate."

The worst part was that the boy wasn't entirely wrong.

Obi-Wan rubbed his temples. "Ben, the Council's concern—"

"—is that I care too much, think too much, breathe too much, talk too much, blink weird, and sneeze with agenda. Yes, yes, I've heard the gossip."

"That is not— Ben, please let me speak."

Ben's mouth snapped shut with theatrical innocence.

Thank the Force.

"Your communications with your family…" Obi-Wan began slowly, choosing each word with surgical precision, "were unexpected."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "Harmful? Dangerous? Treason-adjacent?"

"No." Obi-Wan dropped his arms, letting the honesty settle between them. "They scared them."

Ben stopped.

It was small—just a subtle shift of weight, a brief stillness—but Obi-Wan caught it. The humor didn't vanish. It never did with Ben. But it flickered, as if someone had cupped a hand around the flame.

Obi-Wan softened. "They thought your connections could compromise you."

"Maybe," Ben said quietly, "say that instead of treating me like a toddler who licked a power socket?"

"I have never treated you—"

Ben just looked at him.

Obi-Wan paused. "Well. Not intentionally."

A corner of Ben's mouth twitched upward.

Obi-Wan sighed, feeling some tension dissolve, replaced by weary affection. "Ben… it isn't wrong to care for people outside the Order. But the Council must ensure you can make decisions even when your emotions are involved."

Ben shrugged again, but it was looser now. "I know. I just… I don't like being punished for giving a damn."

"That," Obi-Wan allowed, "is fair."

They stood there a moment—the boy pretending he wasn't emotionally affected, and the Jedi Master pretending he wasn't warmed by the boy's stubborn loyalty.

It was Ahsoka in miniature. It was Anakin in miniature. It was Satine.

It was… everyone he'd ever failed to keep in the neat, tidy boxes the Jedi preferred.

He cleared his throat before the moment got too soft.

"Well then," he said briskly, "let us return to the topic of—"

Ben perked up mischievously. "How the Jedi should unionize?"

"What? No—"

"Form a labor board?"

"Ben—"

"A secret underground support group for emotionally constipated Knights?"

Obi-Wan made a strangled noise. "That is quite enough."

Ben grinned wildly. "You know you love me."

"I—" Obi-Wan blinked, tripped on his own dignity, and started over. "I tolerate you."

"Affectionately."

"Occasionally."

Ben looked far too pleased.

Their banter slid back into place as naturally as breathing, like they'd both been holding it back to maintain the tension quota.

Obi-Wan gestured at the maintenance panel. "Now. Regarding this disaster. Why, exactly, were you tampering with it?"

Ben hesitated.

And that alone told Obi-Wan everything.

The boy was bored. Lonely. Restless. Probation had cut away large chunks of his world, and he was filling the gaps with chaos because empty space felt worse.

It wasn't deep reflection. Just an instinctive understanding. The kind a tired mentor developed after too many young troublemakers drifted through his training room.

Obi-Wan crouched, inspecting the mess of wires with a face full of resignation. "Did you at least turn off the power before—"

A spark shot out, nearly singeing his beard.

"…Ben."

Ben winced. "In my defense, I forgot."

Obi-Wan closed the panel firmly, decisively, heroically.

He held out his hand.

"Give me the screwdriver."

Ben tucked it behind his back like a rodent hoarding food. "No."

"Ben."

"What if I need it later?"

"For what?"

"Emergency morale improvement."

"Ben."

Ben sighed dramatically and slapped the screwdriver into Obi-Wan's palm as if surrendering a cherished heirloom.

Obi-Wan confiscated it with all the gravitas of a war general. "This stays with me."

Ben muttered, "Authoritarian."

"I heard that."

"You were meant to."

The sun dipped lower, bathing them in deep gold. For the first time all day, Obi-Wan felt the tension in his shoulders lighten. Ben did that. In the most aggravating way imaginable.

Obi-Wan straightened. "Come along. You're assisting me with evening duties."

Ben groaned. "Slave labor."

"Character development."

"Ugh."

Ben trudged after him with the enthusiasm of someone being marched to their doom. Obi-Wan ignored every exaggerated sigh.

...​

I was supposed to be reorganizing the Temple's emergency ration storage.

Which, in Jedi terms, meant moving boxes while being supervised by a droid whose vocabulary had recently expanded to include very not safe for work phrases in binary. Through no fault of my own!

Naturally, I was not reorganizing anything.

Instead, I was crouched behind a stack of Temple-issued supply crates with a datapad and two accomplices who were absolutely going to get blamed for this later.

Ahsoka peeked over the top of the crates like a morally conflicted meerkat. "Ben… why are we hiding? Again?"

"Correction," I whispered. "I am hiding. You and Maris are my security detail."

"Great," Ahsoka muttered. "So I'm complicit."

Maris crouched on my other side, arms folded, eyes glinting with the eager menace of someone ready to start a small, polite insurgency. "What's the objective?"

I grinned. "Behold."

I turned the datapad around with a flourish. On the screen, in bold lettering, was:

THE ORDER OF REASONABLE ATTACHMENTS

(name pending review)

Ahsoka inhaled sharply. "Ben."

Maris leaned in. "Oh, I already love this."

I scrolled down proudly.

MOTTO:

At least we talk about our feelings.

Ahsoka pressed her hand to her face. "No. No. Absolutely not. Ben—"

But I wasn't done.

CORE FEATURES

— Sabacc Nights

— Snack Breaks

— No Lectures from Mace Windu

— Occasional Twi'lek dancers

Maris cleared her throat pointedly. "Respectfully, that's objectifying."

I blinked. "Oh. Fair point. Uh—"

I edited it with a few taps.

— Occasional acrobatics

Ahsoka stared at me like she was trying to telekinetically slap me. "This is a terrible idea."

"This," I said, "is the BEST idea."

Maris nodded solemnly, as if approving a war plan. "I support the schism."

"It's not a schism," I whispered, offended. "It's a micro-schism. A snack-funded micro-schism."

Then I heard footsteps.

Heavy ones.

Not good.

Ahsoka shoved the datapad into my hands. "Turn it off!"

"I'm trying!" I hissed, mashing random buttons.

Maris grabbed my arm. "Hide it!"

Ahsoka grabbed my other one. "Hide yourself!"

This resulted in all three of us flinging ourselves sideways behind the crates in total panic. In the chaos, I dropped the datapad, Ahsoka tripped over it, Maris tripped over her, I tripped over both, and suddenly we were a three-person disaster sandwich.

Ahsoka's knee hit my shoulder.

Maris's elbow dug into my ribs.

Someone's foot — Ahsoka's, probably — pressed directly against my cheek.

"Ben," Ahsoka whispered urgently, breathless and furious. "This is NOT helping your probation."

"No," I whispered back, "but it's GREAT for morale. Also, get your foot out of my face."

Ahsoka jerked it back. "Sorry."

Maris shifted, accidentally kneeing me again. "Also sorry."

"I am going to die under a pile of Force users," I hissed. "And not even heroically."

The approaching footsteps stopped at the entrance of the storage room.

I held my breath.

Ahsoka held hers.

Maris held hers and tightened her grip on two of my belt loops like she was prepared to drag me straight into the Shadow Realm if necessary.

The droid supervisor's grumpy voice echoed:

"BLEEEP WHIIIR—"

The three of us froze so hard we might as well have been carbonite.

The droid scanned the room with the loud, judgmental beep of someone who'd seen too much teenage stupidity for one lifetime.

Then:

"BoodOoo."

Its footsteps moved away.

The moment the droid vanished, we collapsed into whispered groans.

"Okay," Ahsoka hissed, sitting up. "That was awful. I'm getting too old for this."

"You're twelve," I said.

"And yet here I am," she replied, "participating in a cult behind the storage crates."

"It's not a cult," I said. "It's a very sane alternative support network."

Maris raised an eyebrow. "With acrobatics."

I nodded. "Obviously."

Ahsoka slapped the datapad back into my hands. "Ben. You cannot form a breakaway Jedi order while on probation."

"Sure I can," I said. "I'm already halfway through the bylaws."

Maris leaned against the crates like the world's most supportive gremlin. "He has a point."

"No, he does not have a point," Ahsoka snapped. "He has a problem."

"Actually," I corrected, "I have twelve problems. They're called the Council."

Ahsoka groaned.

Maris fist-bumped me.

"Okay okay okay," I said, waving them both down. "New idea. We launch quietly. Underground. Subtle. Exclusive membership. Initiation ritual pending."

Ahsoka stared at me. "Tell me the ritual doesn't involve snacks."

I stared back.

She sighed. "Ben."

Maris shrugged. "Snacks build loyalty."

"SEE?!" I whispered loud enough to not be a whisper at all.

Ahsoka silenced us both with a glare. "No more cult."

"It's—"

"No more micro-schism."

"Fine," I said. "Then it's a club."

Maris nodded. "A dubious club."

"Still counts," I said.

"But," Ahsoka added sharply, "whatever this is? It stops tonight. No more planning. No more meetings. No more—"

The door slammed open.

All three of us jolted.

The droid rolled in at full speed, shouting:

"WhhhhhIIIIIRRRRRRR!!"

I would like to clarify that this was not my fault, but everyone believed it was. Including me.

"RUN!" I yelled.

Ahsoka didn't need to be told twice. She bolted.

Maris followed, snatching the datapad out of my hand on the way.

I scrambled after them as the droid accelerated, swearing loudly in Binary:

"BRRRRRrrrrBBBB—

CCCCLLLLI—

BBBBBEEEEDDDD—"

We tore down the corridor, sliding around corners, dodging startled Padawans.

Ahsoka screamed, "Ben, why is that droid cussing us out?!"

Huh. Didn't know she spoke binary.

"Character development?! How should I know!"

Maris grabbed my arm. "LEFT TURN! LEFT TURN!"

Ahsoka grabbed my other arm. "STOP GIVING DIRECTIONS, YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT THEM!"

We skidded into the main hall, nearly crashed into a Mon Calamari Knight, ricocheted off a pillar, and kept running, the enraged droid clattering behind us yelling:

"WHHHHEEEeeeeEEE!"

We vanished around the corner.

The droid did not.

But its furious, disappointed screech echoed beautifully through the entire Temple.

Honestly?

Worth it.

...​

Someone asked me, very reasonably, why Ben tried crawling through the vents, given that they're so much smaller than people may realize. To that person, and all of you, I say this:

I played the Arkham games growing up. If I can suspend my believe that a decades old Asylum had vents large enough to fit AND support a fully grown, armored man, than we can all suspend our disbelief that a child with the Force as his guide, could use the temple vents the same way.

Oh.

Right.

Support me on Patreon, if you want to read ahead. Or just generally support my work. I'm broke. Check the link below!

My Patreon

 

[ZzzSlothzzZ]

"You know, I wonder if binary has swear words."

Click to shrink...

Binary includes math, It's all swearwords

Maris smirked. "Welcome to the rebellion."

Click to shrink...

Ben drives the council to the darkside/be more authoritarian and they actually need a rebellion

blink weird

Click to shrink...

Blinking in binary to drive droids to rampancy? Classic

treating me like a toddler who licked a power socket?"

Click to shrink...

That's just Anakin

CORE FEATURES

Click to shrink...

Pazzak and hookers*.

*Maris an Ahsoka are of the scantily dressed persuasion and if they get dead are technically indistinguishable from hookers

— Occasional acrobatics

Click to shrink...

With scantily dressed Zabrak and Togruta

three-person disaster sandwich.

Click to shrink...

Yes, but with more pizazz

 

[noya]

This story is really fun. I wonder if the trio will end up finding the hidden Sith shrine under a meditation chamber.

It has been fun reading this. The chaos and the series moments work well with each other.

 

[Hilight]

Someone asked me, very reasonably, why Ben tried crawling through the vents, given that they're so much smaller than people may realize. To that person, and all of you, I say this:

Click to shrink...

I watch Clone Wars and there were support shafts large enough to walk through and fight in directly attached to the Council Room.

 

[po-tay-toes]

holy shit what a fever dream of a story. flour bomb in the air vents when?

 

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 17: It's a Conspiracy!

I'm not saying my plan is flawless, but if you squint hard enough and believe in me the way my original mother used to believe the tax collectors would "just forget" about her late payments, it looks pretty airtight.

The Force is my plan.

And yes — that's exactly how the Force works.

Yoda would agree with me if he weren't so committed to being wrong in front of children.

The trick to sneaking into the Restricted Archives is simple: move with confidence, walk fast enough that people assume you're supposed to be there, and radiate the general aura of someone who's either on a mission or about to cry. Jedi never stop people who look like they're about to cry. Too messy. Too many emotions. Too much paperwork.

I, thankfully, have perfected the face that suggests both "extremely important errand" and "internal crisis." It's one of my many talents.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Maris whispers beside me, or rather slightly behind me, using me as a meat shield against the possibility of authority. "Because this feels like a bad idea. A really bad idea."

I'm pretty sure she was putting most of her concern on. Either that, or she's using Force Gaslighting, because she's been egging me on. Which is why if we get caught, I'm naturally blaming her.

"It's a great idea," I say, confidently, like someone who absolutely did not get this idea fifteen minutes ago while staring at my ceiling and wondering if I could start my own Force sect. "And you're going to be the lookout. Which is extremely easy. Even fun."

"I don't have the right kind of fun," she mutters. "My fun is quiet. Safe. Legal… usually."

"Tonight," I say, sweeping around a corner with the dramatic flourish of someone who definitely practices dramatic flourishes alone, "we broaden your horizons."

"I don't want broader horizons."

"Too late. Horizons: broadened."

She lets out the tiniest, most offended choke of a noise, like a cat who's just discovered someone moved its bowl two inches left. Maris processes change poorly. Maris processes responsibility worse. Which is why she's the perfect lookout — nobody is more alert than a person who desperately wishes not to be involved.

Which I'm mostly sure she is. But, yeah. I have been deceived, before.

We approach the Archive rotunda just as a Knight in tired-looking obi-robes comes down the opposite hall. His hair is uneven, his eyes are red, and his gait is the shuffle of someone who has not slept a full night since the Stark Hyperspace War. Perfect. Exhaustion: the Jedi's natural weakness.

He blinks at us. "The Archive closes in ten minutes."

"It does," I say, nodding gravely, "but Archivist Nu asked me to perform a late-night cross-referencing audit on the comparative cataloging system for niche Force traditions."

The Knight stares at me. I stare back with serene academic authority.

Maris stares at the floor like she's trying to merge with it.

"…That sounds," the Knight says, rubbing his forehead, "like a real thing?"

"It is," I assure him. "Very real. Very necessary. Records have fallen behind on… phrasing conventions. And, ah… cross-indexed cultural context."

What I've just said means absolutely nothing. Absolutely. Nothing.

But this man is exhausted enough that if I told him I was reorganizing the Archives alphabetically by philosophical mood, he would probably thank me.

He nods, gives a vague hand wave that says not my problem, and continues shuffling down the hall. I swear he yawns mid-turn.

Maris watches him leave, then turns to me with the look of a person who cannot believe the universe lets me live without supervision. "Ben."

"Yes?"

"That was nonsense."

"You're welcome."

She doesn't speak again.

I call that victory.

We reach the Archive entrance. The gates are in "polite lockdown" — still open, but glowing faintly with the blue shimmer that says "we will absolutely narc on you." I flash my best "I'm definitely authorized" smile at the first security droid standing by the threshold.

The droid whirs awake.

"STATE YOUR CLEARANCE LEVEL."

"Historical," I tell it, without missing a beat.

The droid pauses. Its eye-sensor flickers. "THAT IS NOT A LEVEL."

"It should be," I say, hands on my hips. "Frankly, I'm surprised it isn't. I'll send in a suggestion form."

"YOU WILL— WAIT. ARE YOU AUTHORIZED TO SUBMIT FORMS?"

"No one's authorized to submit forms," I say. "That's how they get you."

The droid processes this. It clearly shouldn't. But it does. Archive droids have two modes: "impeccably strict" and "deeply confused by human behavior." You want the second one.

"PROCEED," it finally says, stepping aside.

Maris gives me a whisper that was half horrified, and half impressed. "That actually worked?"

"Of course it worked," I whisper back, tapping a panel on the gate so it logs "Skywalker, A." as the user. I've had access to Anakin's account for months. I didn't even have to hack it. I just guessed the password.

It was "Padmé."

No numbers. Only the first letter was capital.

Padmé.

I am living in a galaxy ruled by toddlers.

Once we're inside, the Archive's cool air wraps around me like someone dunked my soul in a glass of ice water. The room hums with soft blue light, holofiles drifting like lazy fireflies between the towering stacks. And somewhere above, Jocasta Nu is probably meditating in her personal quarters, dreaming about catching future generations of Jedi breaking rules.

My plan is to grab what I need before she wakes up and comes downstairs to enforce "learning." The most dangerous discipline of them all.

Maris hovers by the entrance like she's waiting for a trap door to open. "Okay. So. Lookout. Right. What do I do?"

"You look out," I say, already moving toward the turbolift leading to the upper tiers, "and if you see anyone coming, you make a noise."

"What kind of noise?"

"Any noise."

"What if I panic?"

"That's also a noise."

She opens her mouth to argue, but I'm already stepping into the lift. The doors swish shut before she can unload her anxiety onto me like a malfunctioning cargo droid.

As the lift ascends, I give myself a quick mental prep talk.

Okay, Ben. This is fine. This is normal. This is absolutely something responsible people do. The Force wants you to do this. Probably. The Force has been known to want strange things. It wanted Qui-Gon to adopt a nine-year-old bomb-building gremlin from the desert, after all.

The lift opens with a soft chime, and I step into the Restricted Section.

Technically, I have clearance for the outer tiers. I earned it by spending so many detentions in here that the droids started greeting me by name. But the inner tiers — the ones holding anything not approved for general Jedi consumption — those are locked behind ID signatures.

Which is why I'm using Anakin's.

I slide his identi-code into the holoterminal. It blips, scanning.

A beat passes.

ACCESS GRANTED.

WELCOME, KNIGHT SKYWALKER.

The fact that the system recognizes Anakin as a Knight when he is definitely, very clearly, still a Padawan, tells me everything I need to know about his… extracurricular activities.

"Force help us all," I mutter.

I step into the stacks. The lighting dims automatically, recognizing a "sensitive access session." Thin strips of blue glow tangle between shelves of ancient holotomes and crystalline datacylinders. Every sound in here echoes like the room is judging me.

Good. I judge it back.

I take three steps in.

Then hear:

"INTRUDER DETECTED."

I freeze.

The droid rolls toward me, lights flashing.

I raise a hand. "I'm not an intruder. I'm a curious historian. Big difference."

The droid processes this. Literally.

"PROCESSING… PROCESSING… HISTORICAL INTEREST CONFIRMED. STATUS: NOT INTRUDER."

I grin.

"Thank you."

"HOWEVER—"

My grin dies.

"YOUR BIOMETRIC SIGNATURE IS NOT ASSOCIATED WITH CURRENT ACCESS IDENTITY."

Ah. Right. The Anakin problem.

Totally forgot the droids got an update last week.

"Explanation," it demands.

I clear my throat, smile, and say, "I am Knight Skywalker's intern."

Kriff! I meant Padawan, not intern!

There is no such position in the Jedi Order.

There is no universe in which that should work.

There is no version of reality where—

"INTERNSHIP STATUS VERIFIED," the droid says. "PROCEED."

I blink.

Then blink again.

"…That worked?" I whisper.

The droid tilts its head. "ARE YOU QUESTIONING THE EFFICIENCY OF ARCHIVE SECURITY?"

"Never," I say, stepping past it as fast as possible. "This is the most professional institution I've ever seen."

The droid hums smugly.

And I dive deeper into the forbidden stacks, grinning like the gremlin I absolutely am, ready to commit academic crimes in the name of building my own Force sect.

Tonight's going to be perfect.

Probably.

Hopefully.

Assuming the Force continues being very, very stupid.

...​

The Restricted Stacks smell like dust, cold metal, and the subtle, lingering shame of an Order that keeps insisting it has nothing to hide while hiding everything. The lights are dimmer here, probably on purpose — intimidation via ambiance. Classic Jedi strategy. If someone ever taught a class on "How to Discourage Curiosity," it was definitely designed in this room. Probably by a committee.

I slip between two towering shelves as the security droid's footsteps fade behind me, clutching Anakin's login credentials like a stolen credit chit. The archives hum to life at my approach, projectors blooming with cool-blue light. Rows of holotables illuminate in cascading lines, one by one, like they're bowing to me.

Good. They should.

"I'm in," I whisper to myself, even though I've never had to say it out loud in my life. But every illegal data search deserves a dramatic one-liner.

The console flickers. Access accepted. The Force is with me. Anakin's total obliviousness to cybersecurity is with me even more.

The holoscreen loads a list of Force traditions from across the galaxy: Baran Do. Zeison Sha. Fallanassi. Sorcerers of Tund. Jal Shey. Half of these sound like yoga studios, the other half like indie rock bands.

I scroll.

BARAN DO SAGES — Origin: Dorin

Air manipulation.

Specialty: predictive meditation, storm shaping.

Storm shaping.

Storm.

Shaping.

"Okay but why don't we get that?" I mutter. "Storm Jedi would solve half the galaxy's problems and all of our dramatic entrance needs."

Next entry.

ZEISON SHA — Origin: Yanibar

Telekinetic combat. Force-disc techniques.

I lean closer.

"Disc techniques," I read out loud. "As in… throwing discs?"

The description helpfully elaborates:

'Force-forged circular weapons capable of remote manipulation, recall, and slicing trajectories.'

I slap the table.

"Are you kidding me? They get laser frisbees? We spend ten years learning how to politely disarm someone with a glowstick when we could just—" I mime a frisbee toss. "—shnk—problem solved."

I swipe the data onto a portable file. Definitely stealing this for later. For training. For study. For the possibility that someday I will absolutely throw one of these at someone's head.

The holodiscs themselves shimmer, a beautiful translucent gold.

Shiny.

Pretty.

Mine.

I pocket three before I can even pretend to justify it.

Jedi are supposed to reject attachment. Yet here I am, emotionally bonding with contraband educational materials. This Order creates its own problems.

I scroll deeper. More traditions. Secret histories. Names I've never heard, techniques I absolutely want.

Then the holo-pane shifts, almost glitching — a data pathway locked behind a half-corrupted tag.

ACCESS LEVEL: MASTER

CONTENT: FRAGMENTED HISTORICAL ARCHIVE — UNKNOWN HOLOCRON

REFERENCE PHRASE: "THE EMPEROR'S WRATH."

My stomach drops.

Oh, no.

Oh, absolutely not.

No way.

No—

I open it.

Because I'm stupid.

A faint projection forms: a red-lit figure in archaic armor, silhouette jagged and imposing, the kind of ominous posture you only get from someone professionally dedicated to dramatic entrances. The file is too corrupted to identify details, but the title flashes bright and bold:

THE EMPEROR'S WRATH

I physically recoil.

"Oh come on," I hiss. "I can't escape this franchise."

I know that name.

I played that name.

Back in my old universe — mouse in hand, lights off, Mom yelling at me about screen time — I was that guy in the game. The Sith Warrior class story. The one who absolutely body-slammed half the galaxy a few centuries ago.

A Sith enforcer so powerful they made Jedi Masters cry on cutscenes.

The holo-text flickers:

'A being of unparalleled destructive potential… feared by both Empire and Republic… vassal yet executioner… unstoppable…'

"Darth Vader without the asthma suit," I mutter. "An unstoppable force… literally, when you think about it.."

The archive lists theorized historical sightings, none confirmed. Legends passed between Master historians, noting how every mention vanishes from the record ten seconds later.

Because why not make him spooky and meta?

This is ridiculous.

I cross my arms.

Plant my feet.

Declare, to no one:

"There is absolutely no universe where this becomes relevant to my future career path."

The holocron projection flickers, dimming, as if the Force itself is rolling its eyes.

I shut it off. Hard.

Nope. Not dealing with that. If destiny wants me, it can send an appointment request like everyone else.

I turn to leave—

—and nearly collide with a hooded figure.

I yell.

She yells.

A holodisc falls out of my pocket and hits the floor with a very obvious plink.

"MARIS?!"

Maris Brood blinks at me from five inches away, looking like she materialized out of thin air, her hood half-twisted, trying to pretend she didn't just scare ten years off my lifespan.

"Oh good," she says, completely unbothered. "You're alive."

"You were supposed to be the lookout!"

"I was," she says confidently.

"You're literally in the room with me."

"I relocated," she says.

"To inside the restricted zone?!"

She shrugs. "I got bored."

I run both hands over my face.

She studies me with a small frown, like I'm the one being strange.

"The door was taking a long time," she explains, as if this clarifies anything. "So I thought, 'Maybe I'm supposed to go in.' Also, I found snacks."

She pulls a ration bar from inside her sleeve.

It is definitely not from the Archives.

It is definitely stolen.

It is definitely partially eaten.

"I'm losing my mind," I whisper.

She leans in, peering over my shoulder at the holographic terminal. "Ooh. Forbidden history?"

"For learning purposes," I correct, putting my body between her and the Emperor's Wrath file like a shield.

"You're sweating."

"No, I'm being responsible."

She tilts her head. "You're vibrating like the floor during a turbolift malfunction."

"That's just my natural state."

Maris squints at the screen again. "Did something in here freak you out? Is it a ghost? I hope it's a ghost. That would be fun. Unless it's the bad kind."

"There are no Force ghosts in the Archives."

"You say that, but the way the old Masters talk sometimes—"

"Maris."

She waits.

I wait.

She raises a brow.

I groan.

"Okay, yes," I admit. "Maybe there was one thing. A weird thing. An irrelevant thing."

Her eyes sparkle with interest. A terrible sign.

"What kind of irrelevant thing?"

"The kind that definitely won't affect me, the plot, the galaxy, or anything else ever," I say firmly. "So naturally, we're ignoring it."

"Is this like when you said you definitely weren't going to break curfew and then we wound up repelling down the side of the west tower because the elevators were 'being rude'?"

"That was one time."

"It was three times."

I wave my hands. "Point is: the less anyone knows about this, the better. Especially Ahsoka. Especially the Masters. Especially literally everyone."

Maris considers this.

And nods.

"Okay," she says. "Then we should leave before you do something stupid."

I blink.

"…I do something stupid?"

She casually munches her ration bar. "Statistically speaking."

I open my mouth to argue — loudly, passionately, dramatically — and that's exactly when the archive lights flicker in warning, and the distant sound of a security droid echoes down the hall.

Maris freezes.

I freeze.

We look at each other.

"We're leaving," I whisper.

"We should leave faster," she whispers back.

"We're already leaving fast."

"We should elevate that."

"Oh my god, Maris, RUN!"

And we bolt — because nothing motivates two Jedi preteens quite like the sound of impending consequences.

...​

Ahsoka had known something was wrong the moment Maris Brood slinked past her in the hallway with the same guilty, too-casual gait of someone who absolutely wasn't supposed to be out after hours. The girl didn't even try to hide the ration bar in her sleeve. She just nodded at Ahsoka, said "Evening," and then proceeded to walk directly into a restricted wing of the Archives.

Ahsoka stared after her.

That was suspicious.

Even for Maris.

She followed quietly — not sneaky, she wasn't Anakin — but with a purposeful stride that said, "I'm not doing anything wrong, but you probably are." Down the mezzanine staircase, around the corner, past a row of quietly judging statues of long-dead Masters.

She kept expecting to hear the faint hum of Maris's sabers or the sharp clatter of something breaking, but instead she heard—

Running.

Very fast running.

Then shouting.

Then—

Two bodies came careening into view around the corner: Maris first, looking like she'd simply chosen to sprint for fun, and Ben right behind her in a full panic, arms flailing, boots skidding wildly on the polished Archive floors.

Ahsoka's brain took a moment to process the incoming disaster.

Oh no.

Oh no no no—

They were not going to—

"STOP!" she yelped.

To their credit, both of them tried.

To their less credit, the Temple had very smooth flooring and Ben had the traction of a speeder on ice. He kept sliding forward in a straight line toward her, eyes wide, hands windmilling.

And then — at the last second — she felt the Force surge through him, a frantic, chaotic shove outward that snapped his momentum like a leash. Ben jerked to a stop inches from her, hair disheveled, expression guilty in a way that suggested he had absolutely done at least twelve things wrong.

Ahsoka folded her arms.

Ben attempted a smile that was technically a smile only because it involved teeth.

"Hi," he squeaked.

Behind him, Maris waved lazily. "We're not in trouble."

Ahsoka stared at them both.

Then at the datapads spilling out of Ben's sleeves.

Then at the glowing holodiscs clipped haphazardly to his belt.

Then at the little blinking light on a console panel behind them that she knew was an after-hours alarm indicator.

Stars help her.

"What," she asked, voice flat, "did you two do?"

Ben immediately began juggling the datapads — horribly. One slipped. He caught it. Another slipped. He lifted it with the Force… and then began doing that with all of them. This did not inspire confidence.

"Nothing," he said.

Ahsoka raised a brow.

"Something academic," Maris offered.

"Research!" Ben blurted. "Historical research! Super normal. Very boring. Would put you right to sleep, I promise."

Ahsoka stared him down.

He lasted three seconds.

"Okay," he said, hands dropping. "We broke into the Restricted stacks… again."

Ahsoka closed her eyes.

Why.

Why did she hang out with the two most chaos-coded individuals in the entire Order?

"Oh Force," she muttered.

Ben brightened. "Not the whole stacks! Just… most of them. Half. A third. Honestly, it's a blur. Things were shiny."

Ahsoka inhaled, steeling herself.

This was fine.

This was salvageable.

This was—

She glanced at the datapads he was still juggling. One was actively labeled Classified: Master Clearance Only.

—this was definitely going to be a problem.

"Ben."

"Yes?"

"Why," she said carefully, "are you holding restricted datachips?"

He looked down at his hands like they had only just now appeared.

"Oh. Those. Souvenirs."

"Souvenirs," she repeated, monotone.

"Well, more like educational tools. Helpful references. Shhh, don't put them back, the droids will feel smug."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, which was becoming a habit ever since she befriended him. "Ben, Master Jocasta is going to kill you."

He winced. "Not if we fix the logs first."

"YOU TOOK THE LOGS?" she cried.

Maris held up a finger. "Borrowed."

Ahsoka glared.

Maris smiled.

Ahsoka did not smile back.

She took a deep breath. "Okay. We're fixing this. Now. Before anyone notices."

Ben perked up instantly.

That alone was proof he needed adult supervision at all times.

"Great!" he said. "Because… um… they might have noticed already."

A mechanical whir echoed from below.

Ahsoka peered over the mezzanine railing and spotted a pair of security droids beginning their sweep, optical sensors glowing bright yellow.

Her stomach dropped.

"Ben."

"Yes?"

"They're coming this way."

"Yes."

"And you have a plan."

He froze.

She watched him think.

This was always a dangerous sight.

"…Yes?"

"No, you don't," she said.

"No," he admitted.

Ahsoka grabbed him by the sleeve. "Okay. Here's what we're going to do. I'll reroute the terminal logs to one of the unused Archivist IDs. Maris, you go stall the droids."

Maris saluted. "On it."

Without hesitation — and without any indication she understood what "stall" meant — Maris hopped the railing, dropped two meters, and landed silently between the droids.

"Explain your presence," one droned.

"Contemplating," she said.

Ahsoka buried her face in her hands. "Why is that her answer to everything?"

Ben grinned, proud. "She's improving! Last week she said 'existing'."

"Ben," Ahsoka snapped, "focus."

She turned to the terminal, fingers flying across the controls. She wasn't exactly slicing—just "aggressively re-categorizing." Archivist Kano was on sabbatical. He would never know one extra after-hours login appeared under his ID. Would she feel guilty later? Yes. But also, she was friends with Ben, and friendship came with ethical gray zones.

Behind her, she heard Ben approach a second droid that had rolled in from the opposite corridor.

"Intruder detected," it said.

Ben placed a hand dramatically over his heart. "Me? An intruder? Please. Would an intruder wear robes this stylish?"

The droid paused.

Then turned its head.

Then back.

Then back again.

"…Query: is fashion a clearance level?"

Ahsoka almost choked on a laugh, despite everything.

"No," Ben said gravely, "but it should be."

The droid processed this.

Slowly.

Painfully.

Like Ben had just introduced it to the concept of existential crisis.

Ahsoka finished inputting the reroute command, heart pounding. A final string of code flashed across the screen:

LOG ALTERATION: COMPLETE

SOURCE: ARCHIVIST KANO

TIME-STAMP SHIFTED

Done.

Saved.

Contained.

She exhaled.

Then turned around to see Ben holding a glowing holodisc upside-down, Maris dangling from a decorative beam, and both security droids frozen in what she could only describe as "debugging confusion."

Ahsoka planted her hands on her hips.

"All right," she said, "we're leaving. Quietly. No more stealing. No more talking. No more anything."

Ben nodded vigorously. "Agreed. Entirely agreed. Wholeheartedly—"

"Ben."

"I'm shutting up."

They regrouped as the droids finally rebooted their patrol cycle.

Ahsoka grabbed Ben's sleeve again just to make sure he didn't wander off or explode.

He grinned at her — wide, boyish, relieved.

She sighed.

Stars.

She really was the responsible one, wasn't she?

"Let's go," she muttered.

And together — one sensible Initiate dragging two feral ones — they disappeared into the mezzanine shadows just as the security sweep resumed behind them.

...​

The safehouse holoprojector sputtered like it was protesting the very idea of broadcasting Duchess Satine Kryze's voice. Bo-Katan sat on the edge of the long metal table, helmet tucked under one arm, fingers drumming against the paint-scratched surface as her sister's image flickered into clarity.

"…and as such," Satine was saying, every syllable ridiculously calm, "Mandalore formally extends asylum and full rights of citizenship to all clone troopers seeking refuge from wartime service. They are the sons of Jango Fett, a Mandalorian by blood, and we will honor that lineage."

The room went stiff.

Death Watch warriors shifted uncomfortably. A few growled. One cursed loudly enough to make the holoprojector hiccup.

And Bo-Katan —

Bo-Katan didn't move.

She watched Satine with the narrowed, calculating eyes of someone who had been angry for so long she had forgotten what other emotions felt like.

The clones.

Jango's clones.

If fate had twisted just slightly differently — if the Galaxy had offered her just one other path — she would have followed Jango Fett. In another life, she would have worn his crest on her shoulder, his orders in her ear, his respect at her back. The True Mandalorians had been everything she was raised to honor. Courage. Strength. Loyalty. Family.

And then the Jedi wiped them out.

The children of bloody diplomacy and misplaced mercy.

Bo-Katan's jaw clenched.

Satine continued speaking, the holofeed broadcasting her serenity like a challenge.

"And further," Satine said, "Mandalore reaffirms its stance of political neutrality, now paired with the acknowledgement of these clone citizens as individuals under our protection. Their personhood is non-negotiable."

Someone choked behind her.

Possibly on outrage.

Possibly on their own tongue.

Pre Vizsla stormed forward, armored boots slamming against the stone floor as though he wanted the mountain beneath them to know he was furious.

"This is deliberate provocation," he snarled, slicing a hand through the air. "She is baiting the Republic. She's daring them to challenge her. To challenge us."

The safehouse smelled of old metal and hover-exhaust, but Vizsla's rage added something sharper—burnt ozone and restless violence. Half the room bristled in response.

Bo-Katan stayed silent.

Vizsla jabbed a finger at the projector. "A clone army granted sanctuary on Mandalore? The Republic won't stand for it. Not after she already declared independence. This is recklessness."

Bo-Katan almost laughed.

Recklessness.

That was one of the kinder words she had for her sister.

But this… this wasn't recklessness.

This was calculated.

It was political war.

And Satine Kryze had just thrown a thermal detonator under every power in the galaxy and smiled politely while doing it.

"She'll turn the clones against the Republic," Vizsla went on. "Or worse — she'll make it look like Mandalore is arming itself."

A thin, nervous voice piped up near Bo-Katan's elbow.

"Uh — technically, sir, Duchess Satine didn't say anything about weapons," said one of the newer recruits, a surprisingly polite young man named Vevik whose armor still gleamed from lack of battle-scarring. "Just… y'know… providing shelter. And meals. And legal support. And, um… medical care. And—"

Vizsla rounded on him. "Are you defending her?"

Vevik squeaked so hard his helmet beeped. "N-no! Absolutely not! I just— I'm just saying she didn't technically arm anyone, sir!"

Bo-Katan smothered a snort.

Poor kid.

Already halfway to realizing Satine wasn't the demon Death Watch liked pretending she was.

She turned her attention back to the broadcast. Satine was wrapping her speech, posture regal, eyes fierce.

Bo-Katan hated how familiar that fierceness felt.

"We will not turn our backs on those who share our blood," Satine said. "Nor will we surrender our right to self-governance to fear or foreign influence. Mandalore stands independent, united, and unafraid."

The feed cut.

Silence settled over the room like dust.

Bo-Katan exhaled slowly.

Carefully.

As if each breath threatened to fracture something inside her.

Because this changed everything.

Satine had always renounced Mandalore's martial traditions.

Always preached peace.

Always framed warriors as relics.

But now?

Now she was invoking bloodline. Heritage. Jango Fett. Mandalorian sons.

She was claiming the clones.

Claiming an army.

And Mandalore with a clone army — or even a few thousand defectors — would reshape the entire power structure of the galaxy. The Core Worlds, the Outer Rim, everyone would have to recalculate their strategies overnight.

Vizsla paced, rage simmering hot enough to fog the air.

"This will bring Republic eyes down on us," he spat. "On me. On our movement. Satine is tightening the noose. Every trooper searching her borders will eventually turn inward. We'll be surrounded."

Bo-Katan absorbed his words without reacting.

Because he was right.

This was going to put a spotlight on Mandalore the likes of which the sector hadn't seen since the Mandalorian Excision.

Death Watch was used to hiding in the dark.

This would blaze them in galactic daylight.

But…

But it would also put pressure on Satine's image. No one could claim she'd abandoned Mandalorian heritage if she embraced Jango's sons. The people — their people — would question everything Death Watch had told them. It could unravel the movement from within.

Vizsla ranted on, but Bo-Katan's mind had already moved ahead, racing through possibilities, probabilities, consequences.

Satine would gain strength.

Death Watch would lose it.

The Galaxy would shift.

And then there was the other matter — the one no one else in the room dared bring up around her.

The Jedi.

Specifically: the very Jedi who had actually discovered the Clone Army. Was also the very one who knocked up Satine. Which was probably the reason one of her nephews was… what did they call it? Force-sensitive?

Space magic bullshit, in her opinion. Still, the irony was palpabale.

The Force must have a sick sense of humor.

For all Satine's pacifist ideals, she was now in possession of something dangerously close to a ready-made army — a move worthy of any warlord.

This was Satine revealing she still had Mandalorian steel in her bones.

Bo-Katan hated how much respect that stirred in her.

Or was it envy?

Vevik cleared his throat hesitantly beside her. "So, uh… commander? What do we do? About all… that?"

Bo-Katan didn't answer immediately.

Instead she rose, sliding her helmet into place, letting the HUD dim the too-bright room and the too-loud noise of her own thoughts.

What did they do?

Break with Satine completely?

Double down on Death Watch?

Strike now, while Mandalore was in political upheaval?

Wait, and let her sister build something stronger than Death Watch could match?

Her heart twisted sharply — the ache of being torn between two worlds, two loyalties, two pieces of herself that refused to merge.

Bo-Katan stared at the blank projector, seeing her sister's face even after it was gone.

Satine had just declared herself a player in the war.

And the galaxy would answer.

"If Mandalore starts welcoming clone defectors," Bo-Katan said finally, voice a calm blade, "everything changes."

Vevik nodded rapidly. Vizsla scowled. The others leaned in, hanging on her words the way her Warriors always had — even if she tried not to think of why.

Bo-Katan lifted her chin.

"We'll watch," she said. "We'll wait."

And under the armor, beneath the rage, deeper than even she wanted to admit — she wondered:

Is this it?

Is this the moment I choose between my sister… and my cause?

Or is it the moment I realize they were never as far apart as I've made myself believe?

She didn't know.

But she would soon.

The Galaxy was shifting.

And Mandalore would shift with it.

...​

Rex had gotten used to the buzz of aging fluorescent lights. They hummed the same way the Kaminoan nutrient tubes had hummed—endless, low, and just annoying enough to remind you they were there. The barracks were clean, dry, and warmer than Kamino, but they still felt like… holding space. Temporary. Like the whole building was waiting for the Republic to make up its mind about whether clones counted as soldiers, weapons, or some morally awkward combination of both.

Tonight, though, the humming wasn't the only thing keeping anyone awake.

"—I'm telling you, it sounded real," CT-1409 insisted from the top bunk. "Duchess Satine Kryze herself. Broadcast went out on the public Holonet. Offer of asylum. Citizenship if we want it."

CT-9415 sat cross-legged on the floor below him, helmet in his lap like a stress ball. "Citizenship," he repeated, tasting the unfamiliar shape of the word. "Like… actual citizenship? Papers? Benefits? A home? A home that isn't water and lightning storms?"

"There's no lightning on Kamino," Jesse muttered.

"There should be. Would've made sense."

Rex listened from the end of the room, arms folded over his chestplate. He didn't step in to stop the discussion; it wasn't harmful, and it was better than replaying the same questions in silence. Besides, he was thinking the exact same things—they were all just braver about saying them out loud.

"Look, I'm not saying it's bad," CT-1477 said carefully, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just… Mandalore is Mandalore. Mandalorians expect things."

"Yeah. Soldiers," CT-6922 added. "And we're good at that, sure, but I don't think that's the point of 'citizenship.'"

"That is the point of Mandalore," CT-1409 countered. "It's literally a warrior culture."

"It used to be," Jesse corrected. "Now their Duchess is a pacifist. Completely reformed the system."

CT-9415 blinked. "So what does she want with us, then?"

That was the real question. The one they all kept circling around without landing anywhere.

Rex exhaled slowly, pushing away from the wall. The conversation quieted automatically—respect, or ingrained command protocol, or both.

"We don't know what she wants," Rex said. "All we know is what she said publicly. Clones discovered, offer extended. Nothing official from the Senate." He grimaced. "Not even a briefing."

"That part bothers me," CT-1477 said. "Why didn't the Senate tell us first?"

"Maybe they didn't think it mattered," CT-6922 said. Then, quieter: "Maybe we don't matter."

CT-9415 punched him lightly in the shoulder. "You matter to me, vod."

"That's not the same," CT-6922 replied, but there was a faint smile.

Rex glanced toward the end of the room, where Cody stepped in from the hall. His posture was tense, even for Cody. Rex raised a brow. Cody shook his head, signaling no updates from command.

No briefing. No meeting. No explanation.

Just silence filled with secondhand news.

Cody sat beside him. "Still nothing," he murmured. "Knight Kenobi pushed for information, but the Senate's in a holding pattern."

"That's a polite way to say they're panicking," Rex murmured back.

Cody huffed. "That's me. Polite."

The troopers were still talking quietly.

"…we'd finally have a home," CT-9415 whispered. "A real one. Somewhere we choose."

"But then what?" CT-1477 said. "We become Mandalorians? Join the clans? Fight their wars?" There was no judgment in his tone—just a genuine attempt to understand. "Do we get to decide that? Do they?"

Rex felt that one in his ribs. The Kaminoans had never given them choices—not about training, not about life, not about anything. Everything was predetermined. Purpose, deployment, lifespan. Even their childhoods had belonged to someone else.

"Citizenship means expectations," Jesse said. "And obligations. If Mandalore takes us in, they're not doing it for free."

"Better than the Republic," CT-1409 muttered.

Rex caught that, and so did Cody. But neither called him on it. Because CT-1409 wasn't wrong.

The Republic hadn't asked for an army. That was the line they kept hearing—an army built without their authorization, under circumstances no one could confirm. Apparently the Jedi had commissioned them, per the Kaminoans, but no Jedi knew anything about it. The Master responsible, Sifo-Dyas, had disappeared years ago, before any contracts were filed officially.

So the Republic had an army it didn't want.

And the clones had a government that didn't want them.

Assets. Tools. Numbers.

None of the men said it out loud, but Rex could read it in their faces, in the stiff set of their shoulders.

They wondered if they were being traded. If they'd be handed off like equipment between bureaucracies.

Cody leaned closer. "You hear what the Kaminoans said about the Duchess's broadcast?"

Rex shook his head.

"Apparently the facilities are… annoyed. They claim Mandalore is interfering with property." His jaw tightened. "Property."

Rex fought the instinctive clench of his fists. "We're people."

"I know that," Cody said softly. "The question is whether anyone making decisions does."

Across the room, some of the younger troopers turned the conversation lighter, but not less honest.

"What about Jango?" someone asked from a bunk near the door. "He's still here on Coruscant, last I heard. What's he going to do about all this?"

Everyone quieted again.

No one knew. Jango, just by being being alive, put an entire extra layer of complication on everything. Some clones admired him. Some hated him. Most didn't understand him.

He was their source material, not their father.

And yet he was the closest thing they had to one.

"He hasn't said anything," CT-1409 finally offered. "Not to any of us."

"Would he?" CT-1477asked. "He didn't raise us. The Kaminoans did."

CT-9415 frowned. "He trained the ARC troopers."

"Only the first batch," Jesse corrected. "Not the rest of us."

Rex felt that, too—a strange ache. Not painful, exactly. Just empty. Like something he wasn't sure he'd ever had the right to want.

The room fell quiet, resting on that uneasy line between possibility and dread.

Cody nudged him. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That depends," Rex murmured. "Are you thinking we're being shuffled around like supply crates?"

Cody didn't reply.

He didn't have to.

Rex rose, hands behind his back as he addressed the room—not formally, not as a commander giving orders, but as someone who could see his brothers drifting toward spirals.

"Listen up," he said quietly. "We don't know what's coming. Not from the Senate. Not from Mandalore. Not from anyone. But whatever decision gets made…" He looked around at them—different faces, same face. Brothers. "We face it together. No one's getting traded. No one's getting abandoned. If Mandalore wants something from us, we decide what that means. Not them. Not the Senate."

CT-6922 lifted his chin. "You really think they'll let us decide?"

Rex hesitated only a heartbeat. "I think no one knows how to handle us. That means we have more room to stand our ground than they realize."

That actually seemed to ease some tension.

Cody added, "And until we hear otherwise, we're still the Republic's responsibility. Whether they like it or not."

CT-9415 grinned faintly. "Guess we're everyone's problem."

"Always have been," CT-1409 said. "In the best way."

The lights hummed. The brothers settled slowly back into their bunks, conversations softening into murmurs. The uncertainty didn't vanish—it wouldn't—but they weren't facing it alone.

...​

I should've left the slate alone.

In my defense, it was sitting there on the shelf looking mysterious, and I'd already committed several crimes tonight. At a certain point the difference between three and four felonies becomes philosophical. Still, the holoslate was heavier than I expected when I lifted it again, like it knew I was unqualified to be touching it.

"So," I muttered to it, tapping its darkened surface, "you're the one with the cryptic 'Emperor's Wrath' reference. Which—by the way—rude name. Zero context. Zero instructions. Zero consideration for my curiosity."

Ahsoka and Maris were hovering nearby, which meant Ahsoka was anxiously tracking every move I made and Maris was staring at a glowing fungus patch on the wall like she wanted to adopt it.

I closed my eyes and reached out with the Force, hoping for… I don't know. An intuitive sense of how to get past the Master-level lock. Something flowy and mystical. Yoda made this look easy. On the other hand, Yoda wasn't a self-insert from a planet where the microwave sometimes scared him.

Don't judge me! Have you ever tried to microwave a hot pocket?! Half the time it sounds like a bomb went off!

Still—trust the Force, right?

That was the plan.

Mostly because I didn't have a backup plan.

I let my awareness settle into the device, brushing past the surface encryption like running fingers over a stuck seal. It resisted—then, suddenly, it didn't. Something clicked, like a lock tumbling open. Metaphorically, anyways.

The slate hummed to life in my hands.

"Oh kriff," Ahsoka whispered behind me. "He actually did it."

"Of course I did it," I said. "I am a scholar. A visionary. A menace to authority."

A projection blinked into existence above the slate, and I rotated toward the nearest holoterminal with all the dignity of someone pretending they didn't almost drop a priceless artifact. I slotted the slate into the panel.

The terminal lit up.

A stream of high-level access codes flickered across it—Master level. Maybe higher. Something the Jedi definitely didn't want a Padawan, let alone me, poking around in.

The map popped into view. A burning red world.

Korriban.

The name pulsed on the screen like it was trying to menace us.

"Well," I said carefully, "that sounds… totally not evil."

Ahsoka folded her arms. "Ben, it literally starts with 'Kor.' Nothing good starts with 'Kor.'"

"Oh, so we're judging evil based on phonemes now? You are so insensitive. You know Coruscant has the same sound in there! Granted, Coruscant is a hollowed-out, overpopulated, crime-infested planet that's home to the worst beings in the galaxy—politicians—but still. Now. Don't you feel silly?"

She stared at me.

Maris was already halfway down the aisle headed for the exit, doing that silent scooting thing cats do when they know a cup is about to fall off a table.

"Uh… Ben?" she called in the softest possible voice that still conveyed abject panic.

That's when the lights snapped from their usual peaceful library glow into a vivid, siren-red strobe.

A voice boomed overhead:

"UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS DETECTED. ARCHIVE SECURITY PROTOCOLS ACTIVATING."

See, this is the downside of the Jedi Order's whole "no killing" policy. Their security systems were built around not hurting anyone, which somehow made them more terrifying because the droids put so much effort into subduing you gently. It was unsettling.

A security droid rolled into view from the far end of the stacks, photoreceptors blazing.

"Please remain still for your safety."

A stun bolt sizzled past my ear. I yelped.

"Okay, wow, immediately contradicting yourself—"

Another shot. I raised my saber and reflexively deflected—straight back into the droid's chest.

Nothing happened.

Right. Stun bolts don't affect metal.

I pointed my saber accusingly. "I'll remain still at your funeral!"

"Ben!" Ahsoka grabbed my sleeve and yanked. "Move!"

We sprinted. The droid kept a polite but relentless pace behind us, firing stun bolts in what it probably thought was a helpful pattern.

"Please do not flee. Evading security is unsafe."

"I disagree!" I shouted back.

Maris skidded into a turn ahead of us, almost wiping out on the marble floor. "Why are the Archives this smooth?!"

"Because the Jedi hate friction!" I yelled.

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"It does right now!"

Ahsoka vaulted over a study table; I slid under it and nearly rearranged my entire face on the edge. Another droid clanked into view beside the first.

"Multiple intruders detected. Initiating pacification."

"Pacification?" I squeaked. "We're not even bothering anyone! We are the most non-disruptive criminals ever!"

Ahsoka shot me a look as she ran. "Ben, you hacked a restricted slate, triggered a locked archive terminal, and you're holding contraband in your sleeve."

I thought about that for two seconds.

"Okay, so there were parts to that sentence I didn't love."

We barreled down the central aisle. The main doors loomed ahead like salvation. Or at least like something with fewer robots.

Maris reached them first and slapped the emergency release panel. The lights flickered crimson again. The doors began to grind open at a pace so slow it defied physics.

The droids glided closer.

"Remain still for your saf—"

I shoved my hand out, a burst of Force shove rattling through the aisle. The droids skidded backward, flailing their limbs like indignant metal turtles.

Ahsoka and Maris squeezed through the half-open gap. I dove after them.

We slammed the doors behind us.

Ahsoka braced her hands on her knees, panting. Maris clung to the wall like it was the safest place she'd ever encountered.

I straightened, dusted myself off, and patted my sleeve.

The slate-chip with the Korriban coordinate was tucked safely there.

Ahsoka noticed. Her montrals twitched.

"You're not actually going there."

I considered pretending, for half a second, that I would never, ever be that reckless.

Then I remembered who I am.

I shrugged. "We'll see how tomorrow feels."

Ahsoka groaned. Maris whimpered. The Archive doors beeped angrily behind us.

And that was how we ended the night: sweaty, terrified, and technically still in the library hallway.

Just three kids.

And one very evil-sounding planet now sitting in my pocket.

...​

Who could ask for more?

You could. Read ahead on my Patreon! Link below:

My Patreon

IMPORTANT ANNOUCNEMNT:

Tomorrow will be the last daily update for this fic. It will continue! But we are at the point, where we have finally caught up to what's been released to the public. After tomorrow, chapters will still continue to be released, but it will be weekly, every Tuesday.

 

[$4.99]

She really was the responsible one, wasn't she?

Click to shrink...

I mean, yeah. Duh. Did you just figure that out?

 

[Rustic]

...Alright so, is there a reason the mc all excited to learn from a dark cult?

 

[Mad King Kevin]

Chapter 18: The Totally Normal Humanitarian Mission

It started with me doing something extremely responsible: studying.

And not even the fake kind of studying where I stare at a screen until my brain slides out my ear and hope the Force uploads the lesson into my skull. No — I was genuinely, legitimately, enthusiastically analyzing the forbidden holo-chip I had absolutely not stolen from the Restricted Archives the night before.

(There's a difference between "stealing" and "borrowing indefinitely." I don't care what the Temple legal department says.)

The chip buzzed faintly in my hands, projecting a dim red map across my desk. It was the kind of red that screamed ancient curses included and please sign the waiver before opening. Several glyphs pulsed in the corner — jagged, angry characters shaped like someone lost a fight with a chisel — and then, right on cue, the projection blinked and locked onto a set of coordinates.

Coordinates that pointed to a barren desert world.

Coordinates accompanied by a faint, ominous musical sting.

I frowned. "Okay, dramatic, but points for presentation."

The little map rotated slowly, casting the glyphs across my walls like angry fireflies. The accompanying text translated itself into something approximating Basic, though it was clearly trying its best to terrify me: Site of Ancient Trials — Entry Forbidden — Jedi Council Oversight Required — Extremely Evil, Probably.

The word "Probably" was doing a lot of the heavy lifting there.

I leaned back in my chair, steepled my fingers, and said the most academically responsible thing possible:

"…Well. This looks educational enough."

My brain — traitor that it is — immediately started filling in the details: the desert wind, the lost corridors, the curses whispered by long-dead zealots. The awe. The mystery. The fact that I definitely, absolutely should not go there.

And that's when it hit me.

That quiet, tiny, beautiful moment where a bad idea evolves into a full plot.

You know the moment. The exact second where curiosity wins, consequences lose, and you can practically hear the Force whisper, Do it. What are they gonna do, put you on more probation?

I grinned. "This is either going to be genius or catastrophically stupid."

Naturally, that's when Ahsoka walked in — because the universe likes to send me warnings disguised as friends.

The door hissed open, and she poked her head in with a snack in one hand and a datapad in the other. "Hey, Ben, I—"

She froze. Her eyes went wide.

She stared at the projection, then at me.

Then back at the projection.

"Oh no," she breathed. "Ben. No. Not even a little no. A planetary-level no."

Now, Ahsoka is usually pretty expressive, but this was the kind of expression that deserved its own holocomic. I could practically see the internal calculation:

Ancient Sith planet freshly grounded friend forbidden maps me = disaster.

I lifted my hands defensively. "Before you say anything—"

She pointed at the glowing red glyph pulsing on my wall. "That's Korriban. The bad world. Remember?!"

"I know!" I said, as if this helped my case. "Isn't it cool?"

"It is the opposite of cool! It's— it's—" She sputtered. "It's the warning sticker of planets!"

I opened my mouth to reassure her, but before I could summon even one lie shaped like optimism, Maris Brood slid dramatically through the doorway like she'd been eavesdropping the entire time.

Which, knowing her, she had.

She took one look at the map, smirked, and announced, "Field trip."

See, where Ahsoka was the little angel on my shoulder yelling "STOP," Maris was the gremlin on my other shoulder whispering "What if we pushed the big glowing red button?"

"Thank you, Maris," I said, gesturing grandly at her. "Finally, someone who understands academic enthusiasm."

Ahsoka blinked at both of us. "Academic? You think going to Korriban counts as academic?! That's like saying touching a live electrical conduit is a science experiment."

"Well…" I said carefully, "technically it could be—"

"No."

She stabbed a finger in my direction. "Your probation just started. Just started. And your first response is 'Let me go somewhere known for producing mass murderers.'"

"But think about it," I countered, rising from my chair with all the confidence of someone who absolutely should not be confident. "If the Jedi won't tell me things, I'll just go ask their enemies' ghosts. Academic integrity."

Ahsoka stared at me like she was trying to Force-push sense back into my skull. "You are not seriously considering going there."

"Oh, Ahsoka," I said, clapping a hand to my chest. "I'm not just considering it. I'm actively planning it."

Maris placed her hands on her hips. "Do we pack weapons? Concealed blades? Emotional support knives?"

Ahsoka whipped toward her. "Don't encourage him!"

"I'm not," Maris said, deadpan. "I'm encouraging us."

This was exactly why we should not be allowed to hang out unsupervised.

I waved toward the projection again. "Look — desert world, ancient ruins, probably cursed. But educational! Imagine all the lost knowledge. Jedi history. Force philosophy. Maybe even the secret to why the Council thinks everything fun counts as a felony."

Ahsoka dragged both hands down her face.

I continued undeterred, "And realistically—realistically—it can't be that dangerous. We're not going to touch anything. Or awaken anything. Or open any ominous sarcophagi with the words 'DO NOT OPEN' carved into them."

Maris raised a hand. "What if it's already open?"

"Well, then that's a safety hazard," I said. "We'd be morally obligated to check."

Ahsoka pointed at me like she was leveling a blaster. "Ben. Korriban literally eats Jedi."

"I eat a lot too," I said. "We'll get along."

She let out a long, slow exhale. One of those breaths where you can physically see someone reevaluating all their life choices. "This is… this is madness."

"To be fair," Maris said, "it's not his worst idea."

"That is not comforting!" Ahsoka yelped.

I slapped my hands together decisively. "Look, we'll be fine. We'll take a shuttle. We'll fly low. We'll be in and out before anyone knows we're gone. Simple."

Ahsoka blinked once. Twice. "Ben. Please tell me you're not planning to—"

"Steal?" I corrected. "Nooo, Ahsoka. Not steal."

She relaxed a hair.

"We're going to borrow."

She tensed again.

Maris gave a thumbs-up. "Do we bring snacks?"

"Yes," I said immediately. "Absolutely. Good initiative."

Ahsoka made a strangled noise. "No. No! We are not going anywhere! We are not stealing—borrowing—a ship! You are on probation, Ben! PRO-BA-TION!"

"Ahsoka," I said, putting on my most innocent smile, "how hard could stealing a ship be?"

"WE'RE NOT STEALING—"

...​

Obi-Wan Kenobi was having a very long day.

And when his version of a long-day ranged from bailing his erstwhile padawan out of another sky-speeded joyride, or accidentally discovering an entire clone army… well. Suffice it to say, he's come to expect the unexpected.

Which was why when he had just settled into what might have passed for meditation if he squinted hard enough — the kind where the Force felt peaceful, quiet, and very deliberately pretending not to comment on his life choices — it did not come as a surprise to him when his comm chimed with the specific tone used only for Council directives.

Not even a hint of surprise, in fact. Only a very healthy sense of dread.

The holo flickered to life, displaying the Council chamber and several Masters who wore matching expressions of concern. Not annoyance. Concern. That was worse.

"Knight Kenobi," Mace Windu said, voice clipped. "Due to recent political developments surrounding Mandalore's declaration of independence, the Council has reassessed our diplomatic strategy."

Obi-Wan felt his shoulders tense immediately. Mandalore. Satine. Independence. Politics.

The exact things that usually meant his week was about to fall apart.

He listened as they detailed the situation: Satine's declaration had caused ripples throughout the Mid and Outer Rim. The Republic was rattled. The Senate was fracturing.

The newly announced Confederacy had already begun spreading propaganda about Mandalore being "ripe for alignment." Satine was resistant, but isolated. And now that Mandalore had publicly offered sanctuary to the clones — citizenship, even — tensions were rising faster than the Jedi could file diplomatic briefings.

Which meant, naturally, they were sending him.

"Given your familiarity with Mandalore," Ki-Adi-Mundi added delicately, "you are the most… experienced candidate for this advisory role."

Experienced.

That was one word for it.

Emotionally compromised was another.

Romantically entangled if you asked Quinlan Vos.

A disaster waiting to happen if you asked Obi-Wan himself.

He masked the tightness in his chest with a polite nod.

"I understand, Masters."

There was a pause — just long enough for Obi-Wan to sense a second directive waiting in the wings.

"And," Windu added, "regarding Initiate Kryze…"

Ah. There it was.

He braced himself.

"…we understand you requested to bring him."

Obi-Wan startled, though only inwardly. He had asked — quietly, tentatively, knowing full well how it would be received. He had worded it carefully, too: Ben may benefit from witnessing peaceful diplomatic processes on his ancestral world. He'd chosen that phrasing specifically because it sounded responsible, professional, and definitely not because he wanted his son somewhere he could keep an eye on him after the Archives debacle and the Council reprimand.

The Council did not agree.

"It is our decision," Mace said, "that he remain on Coruscant."

"His probation remains in effect," Plo Koon added gently. "Reflection, not adventure, is what he requires now."

Obi-Wan managed not to sigh aloud. He only felt it — that faint, aching tug in his ribs that came from wanting to protect two worlds at once and failing at both.

He bowed. "Of course, Masters."

After the message ended, he stayed seated for a few minutes, staring at the darkened comm.

It was the right decision. Rational. Reasonable. Entirely logical.

And yet it felt wrong.

Ben, for all the chaos orbiting around him like debris caught in a gravity well, wasn't dangerous. He wasn't reckless without cause. He was curious. Passionate. Searching.

And increasingly lonely.

Obi-Wan stood, took a breath, and headed for Ben's quarters.

If he couldn't bring the boy with him, the least he could do was explain it himself.

...​

The door to Ben's room slid open with a soft hiss after he knocked. Ben appeared in the frame looking… alarmingly innocent. Far too innocent. The kind of innocence that Obi-Wan had learned, through hard experience, only appeared when Ben was absolutely, positively, one-hundred-percent guilty of something.

His bag was half-packed on the bed behind him — not a normal bag, either, but one of the Temple-approved travel satchels initiates used for off-world training. Inside, Obi-Wan spotted rations, a multipurpose tool, two datapads, and something that looked suspiciously like a pilfered maintenance passcard.

Ben froze when he saw who it was. "Oh — Master Obi-Wan. Hi. Um. I was just… meditating."

Obi-Wan blinked, then glanced meaningfully at the bag.

Ben followed his gaze, then said, "Active meditation. You know. Movement. Packing. Contemplative… organizing."

The lie was terrible.

Spectacularly terrible.

Almost performance art.

Obi-Wan folded his arms. "I see."

Ben smiled with the fully unconvincing charm of someone who had no idea how obvious he truly was. "So… what's up?"

Obi-Wan stepped inside, though he didn't comment on the bag. Not yet. He could feel the tension rolling under Ben's surface like a tide. Whatever the boy was planning, he didn't want to humiliate him by calling it out immediately.

Instead, he said gently, "I've come to tell you that I've been assigned a new mission."

Ben's eyes lit with interest — too quickly. Obi-Wan detected the unmistakable spark of hope.

"Mandalore?" Ben guessed.

Obi-Wan nodded.

Ben's face split into a grin that made Obi-Wan's heart simultaneously warm and ache. "Can I come?"

There it was.

Pure, earnest eagerness.

And Obi-Wan had to extinguish it.

His chest tightened as he spoke. "I asked the Council."

Ben stilled. Just for a moment. But Obi-Wan felt the flicker of emotion — restrained, but sharp.

"And?" Ben asked.

Obi-Wan gave him the softest expression he could manage. "And they declined."

The hope drained from Ben's features in slow motion.

"Oh," he said, voice light, careful. "Right. Because of my probation."

"Yes."

Obi-Wan wished he could offer something gentler, but the truth stood like stone. "They believe reflection will benefit you more at this time."

"They say that," Ben muttered, "like reflection and adventure are different things."

Obi-Wan actually laughed — small, quiet, rueful. "Indeed. Personally, I've had some of my best epiphanies under blaster fire."

Ben blinked. "…I think I'm starting to understand why the healers don't like you."

Obi-Wan smiled faintly. "Yes, well. They rarely appreciate my insights."

He hesitated, watching Ben try — and fail — to mask his disappointment. The boy's shoulders had pulled in slightly, tension ghosting through the Force around him. Not anger. Not even frustration.

Just… confinement.

Obi-Wan's voice softened. "Ben."

The boy looked up.

"I am proud of you," Obi-Wan said. "Truly. Your curiosity, your initiative, the way you care for others — these are not failings. They are strengths. Even when they create… complications."

A faint, surprised laugh escaped Ben. "Complications. Yeah. That's one word for it."

Obi-Wan stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder. It was as close as he could allow himself to come to embracing him outright. "I worry," he admitted quietly. "Not because I believe you reckless, but because the galaxy is shifting. Forces are moving faster than even the Council can track. And I don't want to lose you in that chaos."

Ben's throat bobbed in a swallow. He was quiet for a long beat.

Then he nodded. "I'll stay put. I promise."

Obi-Wan let out a relieved breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thank you."

Ben smiled — small, almost shy. "Have a safe trip. And… tell my aunt—"

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow.

"My actual aunt," Ben amended quickly. "Bo-Katan. Tell her I said hi… unless she joined Death Watch. Then, just tell her to stop it. Threaten her with peace lectures. She hates those."

Obi-Wan chuckled.

They exchanged a mutual, gentle nod — the quiet warmth of an almost-family goodbye they couldn't have in words.

Obi-Wan turned to leave.

He paused at the doorway.

Something tugged faintly at his senses — not danger, exactly, but… misalignment. A thread pulled taut. Something just a little off.

He glanced over his shoulder at Ben, who stood there watching him with the perfect stillness of someone who desperately did not want to draw attention to the duffel bag behind him.

Obi-Wan frowned.

Then — after a second's hesitation — he let it go with a sigh.

He was probably just overthinking it.

He left the room.

In hindsight, he really, really shouldn't have.

...​

The Jedi Temple hangar has a very particular smell—ionized engine coolant, polish, and the unmistakable scent of responsibility. Which is why stepping into it while actively planning a felony feels a bit like walking into the Healer's Ward carrying a flamethrower. I swear the walls know. They judge.

"Act normal," I whisper, which is immediately the least normal thing a person can say.

Ahsoka elbows me. "You saying that makes it worse."

Maris doesn't respond because she's already ten steps ahead, slinking between tool carts and landed starfighters with the grace of someone who alternates between ballet and petty crime. She hops onto a walkway rail, dangles for exactly one dramatic second, and drops behind a parked shuttle like a particularly smug cat.

I inhale deeply. The hangar is busy—busier than last time. Probably because the Council is having some kind of Very Serious Argument about Mandalore, the Separatists, and the Clones, which means all the pilots and mechanics are on high alert.

Speaking of said Clones, I'm still not entirely sure what the Republic's stance on them is, yet. But they have been making themselves very friendly with the Jedi. Ordinarily, that'd be a good thing.

But right now, that was a very bad thing for me.

Security wise.

Clone troopers in orange-striped tech armor made themselves at home loading crates into transports. A pair of Temple Guards stand in very obvious do not commit shenanigans positions by the primary console. A flight officer is barking orders at a pair of Jedi Knights who look like they'd rather be anywhere else. I spot at least three adults who could ruin our entire afternoon with a single stern look.

Perfect. Nothing raises the stakes of a stupid plan like witnesses.

We duck behind a stack of ration crates marked PROPERTY OF REPUBLIC RELIEF DIVISION — which feels like foreshadowing, considering my very logical and not-at-all insane plan to disguise our stolen ship as a food relief shuttle.

"Well," Ahsoka whispers, staring around the corner like she's scouting a battlefield, "this is officially the worst idea you've ever had."

"Incorrect," I whisper back cheerfully. "It's top three, at best. And besides—terrible ideas are the birthplace of legends."

Ahsoka stares at me the way Masters stare at malfunctioning droids. "That's not a saying."

"It is now."

"Ben," she hisses, "we are literally about to steal a shuttle."

"Borrow," I correct. "We're borrowing a shuttle."

"You don't plan to return it today."

"…Future returning is still returning."

Ahsoka opens her mouth—no doubt to deliver a lecture involving phrases like gross misconduct or why does the Force even let you live—but she freezes as a loud clank echoes through the hangar.

We both peek around the crates in time to see Maris climbing the side of our target shuttle like it personally offended her. She wedges her boot in a maintenance seam, pulls herself up, and pries open the cockpit hatch with a level of enthusiasm that suggests she was waiting her entire life for this moment.

Ahsoka pinches the bridge of her nose. "She moves like gravity is just… a suggestion."

"She rejects your mortal physics."

"She rejects everything."

"I admire that in a person."

Ahsoka shoots me a look that could peel paint. "You admire exactly the wrong things."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't—Ben, focus."

Right. The plan. The brilliant, flawless, absolutely airtight plan that I will definitely regret later but also probably brag about for years.

I tap the holopad strapped to my belt, Obi-Wan's ID tag tucked neatly beneath it like a guilty secret. He's being deployed. The Council assumes he's leaving the Temple shortly. That means his clearance is active. All I have to do is slip it through the terminal, file a fake flight plan, and hope I don't get arrested before we even get on the ship.

Easy. Simple. Worst case scenario, we become cautionary tales for future generations. Which would be a legacy, technically.

I take one step toward the central console.

Ahsoka grabs the back of my tunic so hard I choke. "No!"

I wheeze. "Ahsoka—this is—this is obstructing history—"

"You were about to use the Force on a guard!"

"I was going to nudge him! Mentally! Very gently! Like tapping someone on the shoulder. With telekinesis."

"That is still a felony!"

"You don't know that for sure."

"Yes I do! I actually pay attention in class!"

Traitor!

I clear my throat, adjusting my tunic like I meant to almost choke. "Fine. Plan B."

Ahsoka blinks. "There's a Plan B?"

"Of course there is. I always plan ahead." (I absolutely do not always plan ahead.)

Before she can say another negative, energy-killing, future-legend-destroying word, I slip around the crates and stride confidently toward the primary console—because adults can sense fear, and I refuse to give them the satisfaction.

Clone mechanics bustle around me, carrying hydrospanners, calibrating stabilizers, shouting about misaligned thrusters. I try to blend in with the vibe of competence, which is difficult considering I currently radiate the vibe of a kid sneaking into the kitchen at 2 a.m. to steal cake.

I slide Obi-Wan's tag into the terminal.

The console lights up.

A flight officer walks directly toward me.

I smile at him with all the ease of someone absolutely not about to commit grand theft starship.

He squints. "Initiate. Should you be—"

A sudden thoomp echoes behind us.

Everyone turns.

The shuttle's landing ramp has dropped—no, slammed down—like a guillotine, missing a passing Initiates class by approximately one finger-width. A group of five children scatter like startled loth-cats.

Ahsoka screams internally.

I scream internally.

The Temple Guard screams externally.

And Maris leans out of the cockpit hatch with the most unapologetic expression I've ever seen on a humanoid face. "Oops."

The flight officer sprints toward the chaos.

I yank the ID tag out of the terminal and shove it back into my belt like it personally betrayed me.

Ahsoka grabs my arm, dragging me backward so fast my boots squeak. "Do you understand how close that came to flattening three ten-year-olds?!"

"I would never allow harm to come to children," I say, offended. "Intentionally. Besides, the ramp missed. We should congratulate Maris on her precision."

"That wasn't precision. That was entropy wearing boots."

We skid behind the crates again just as two clone mechanics jog over to help the Padawan class regain their footing. A Temple Guard starts lecturing Maris from the floor. Maris, incredibly, appears to be pretending she can't hear him.

Ahsoka rounds on me. "We're so getting arrested."

I glance at the shuttle, engine lights glowing faintly, ramp still halfway extended like a tongue. I glance at the distracted adults. I glance at Maris silently mouthing get in losers, we're committing space crimes from the cockpit.

Then I grin.

"Correction," I announce, hands on hips like someone who absolutely deserves confidence. "We're getting promoted."

Ahsoka blinks. "Promoted?"

"To cautionary tales."

She stares at me like she's weighing whether to strangle me or join me.

The Force swirls through my chest—wild, warm, expectant. I feel a terrible idea crystalize into destiny.

This is happening.

This is so very, very happening.

...​

There are many things a rational person would do when preparing to steal a shuttle from the Jedi Temple hangar. Meditate. Review escape paths. Perhaps reconsider their life choices.

I, however, am proudly slapping a giant REPUBLIC FOOD RELIEF TRANSPORT sticker onto the hull like I'm trying to win a prize for Most Overcompensating Cover Story.

Unfortunately, I forgot Galactic Basic is not spelled exactly like English.

Ahsoka stands behind me with her arms crossed. "Ben… you spelled 'Relief' wrong."

I look at the sticker.

I look at her.

I look back at the sticker, where RELEEF stares back at me like a taunt.

"Shhh," I whisper. "No one reads anymore. We're totally fine."

I am, internally, screaming. Kriffing Basic. Half the letters have different phonetic values and the grammar is a war crime. How am I supposed to remember that ei makes the long vowel sound here when it makes the completely opposite sound in other contexts? I didn't ask to be multilingual in space wizard languages.

I just wanted to move things with my mind, and chop things with lasers. Is that really so wrong?

Ahsoka huffs, "They literally do read, Ben. It's a government hanger."

"Government spelling," I argue, "is famously flexible."

Before she can reply with the kind of judgment only a Togruta pre-teen with moral high ground can wield, Maris strolls by carrying a crate labeled SWEET BANTHA COOKIES — BULK like it weighs nothing. She thunks it into the shuttle's cargo hold with the confidence of someone who has fully embraced the chaos inside her soul.

I gesture at her like she's evidence. "See? Look at that. Authenticity."

Ahsoka raises an eyebrow. "Authenticity?"

"Yes." I count on my fingers. "One: relief shipments often include food. We are helping the needy."

"By bringing cookies to… Korriban."

"We don't judge the nutritional needs of ancient Sith ghosts."

Ahsoka rubs her face.

"Two," I continue cheerfully, "long flight needs snacks."

She points at me. "The second one is the only honest part of this entire operation."

"Honesty is about intention."

"No, it's about truth, Ben."

"Well, that explains a lot of my grades."

She groans.

Maris hops back out of the cargo bay with a datapad under her arm. "We're short six crates. Should I steal more?"

"No!" Ahsoka blurts.

"…But also yes," I add, because what is moral consistency if not a boundary I choose not to recognize?

Maris grins and saunters away.

Ahsoka turns to me like I'm personally responsible for unleashing her. "You can't encourage her. She doesn't need encouragement. She needs supervision."

"Which we are providing!"

"We are not providing supervision, Ben. We are committing a crime."

"Do you ever get tired of being the responsible one?"

"Yes," she says instantly.

We share a moment of mutual understanding: the Force has done us both dirty with our role assignments today.

I slap another sticker on the shuttle. This one I spell correctly. Mostly because it only says FOOD, and thank the stars that's spelled the same in both languages. Some throngs really are universal.

I step back to admire the work: our modest Jedi shuttle now looks like a very enthusiastic third-rate charity project. The decals are slightly crooked and definitely peeling at the edges. The cargo ramp is hanging a bit low because Maris kicked the hydraulics earlier. And the whole thing smells faintly like ration bars.

Perfect. Exactly the kind of ship no one wants to talk to.

I'm halfway through adjusting my robe in what I hope is a "yes, I am a legitimate relief worker" fashion when I notice a clone trooper approaching. He's wearing officer markings—orange stripe on the pauldron, helmet tucked under one arm. He walks with that mix of discipline and mild exasperation that defines clones currently living as temple houseguests.

He stops three feet from me. "Initiates," he says, giving us a polite nod. "Cargo inspection."

Ahsoka stiffens.

Maris whispers from inside the shuttle, "Don't let him see the snacks."

I step forward and channel the full power of fake credibility. "Of course, sir. Absolutely. Happy to help you help us help the galaxy."

The clone blinks slowly. "Right. What's the mission designation?"

I hand him the datapad I forged earlier. "Humanitarian Route 2-Five-Seven, to… uh…" I fake a yawn to cover the pause. "Outer Rim. Food deployment for remote settlements."

He scans the file.

My heart races.

He frowns.

My soul leaves my body.

Then he nods. "Seems in order."

My soul re-enters, slightly crooked.

The clone walks to the cargo hold. Ahsoka and I follow like doomed schoolchildren. Maris attempts to hide behind a crate but fails miserably, since she is very clearly visible and also making direct eye contact.

The clone leans in, checks the first crate.

"Nutrient packs. Good."

He moves to the second.

"More nutrient packs."

He moves to the third.

He stops.

I freeze.

Ahsoka freezes.

Maris does not freeze. She casually picks lint off her sleeve like she isn't the architect of this disaster.

The trooper taps the crate. "Cookies?"

My entire brain short-circuits.

Without thinking—without even the barest consultation of the last three neurons I have functioning—I blurt:

"We're also delivering morale!"

Silence.

Echoing, vast, terrifying silence.

The clone turns his helmet in his hands. I can't read his expression, but I can feel the judgement radiating through the Force like a sunburn.

Then he shrugs.

SHRUGS.

"Well," he says, "settlers in the Outer Rim could use the boost. Carry on."

He signs the clearance.

Hands me the pad.

And walks away.

Ahsoka waits until he's out of earshot.

Then very quietly says:

"I hate that this worked."

I beam at her. "Faith, Ahsoka. Believe in the power of bold stupidity."

Maris hops down from the ramp. "Believing in stupidity is easy. We're surrounded by it."

"That's the spirit," I say proudly.

She smirks. "I meant you."

Before I can retort, a blaring alarm erupts from the far end of the hangar. Red lights strobe across the deck. Clone troopers jog toward the entryway, someone yelling about an equipment breach, and every adult pair of eyes becomes very, very distracted.

Which, of course, is our cue.

I feel the Force buzz through my chest like it's holding up a massive neon sign that reads RUN.

I sprint for the ramp.

Ahsoka sprints too, muttering something that sounds like "I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die."

Maris is already halfway up the ladder to the cockpit, shouting, "Called shotgun!"

The three of us tumble into the shuttle—

—and the hangar falls away behind us as destiny, stupidity, and momentum collide in perfect harmony.

...​

Ahsoka already knew this was a mistake. She knew it back in the hallway, when she first felt Ben's "I have a brilliant idea" aura radiate off him like a space heater left on too long. She knew it while they were sneaking through the hangar, and she definitely knew it when Maris started flipping switches with the gleeful recklessness of someone who wanted to see what would explode first.

But now, strapped into a shuttle that was technically flightworthy, watching her two best friends try to pilot like half-sedated Kowakian lizards… Ahsoka decided the Force had abandoned her.

Or worse — it was laughing.

Ben slammed his hand against a panel. "Shields up!"

The shuttle lurched so violently Ahsoka's montrals rang like tuning forks.

Maris, in the co-pilot seat, stared at the mess of buttons in front of her as though they were written in ancient Sith. "Which one is shields?"

"That—" Ahsoka tried to point, but the shuttle bobbed upward without warning. She grabbed the back of Ben's seat to steady herself. "The one that says shields! You know— the button literally labeled shields!"

"Oh," Maris said. "That seems too obvious."

She pressed it.

The shields came online with a bassy thrum, followed immediately by something sparking behind them. Ahsoka inhaled sharply.

"Did something just break?" she asked.

Ben grinned without turning around. "Not anything we need."

Ahsoka buried her face in her hands and reminded herself that she had, of her own free will, chosen these two as her friends. At this point, she couldn't even blame the Force. The Force had given her at least three opportunities to stop this. She'd ignored all of them. That made her just as guilty.

Maybe more.

The shuttle shot forward, scraping so close to the hangar wall that Ahsoka heard the paint peel.

"Ben!" she yelped.

"Relax! I know exactly what I'm doing!" Ben lied confidently, veering sharply to avoid a refueling tank. A group of clone engineers dove for cover. A few shouted something rude enough that Ahsoka decided she didn't want to know what it meant.

Ahead of them, two clone gunships lifted off the deck — elegant, steady, controlled.

The complete opposite of this.

Ahsoka's heart lurched. "Ben, you're heading straight for them—!"

Ben yanked the controls right as Maris simultaneously yanked other controls, and for one horrible second the shuttle twisted sideways like a drunk bantha attempting ballet. The gunships roared past, one above, one below, missing them by what Ahsoka was pretty sure counted as "legally unacceptable distance."

Her montrals buzzed. Her stomach buzzed. Her future disciplinary hearing buzzed.

If she lived that long.

"That was close," Maris said cheerfully. "We only almost died twice."

"Three times," Ahsoka corrected. "The first one was when you got into the pilot's seat."

Ben flicked a switch and the shuttle shot forward again, faster this time — too fast. Definitely too fast. Ahsoka grabbed her safety harness and braced.

The comm panel crackled to life as hangar control's voice exploded through the cockpit speakers:

"SHUTTLE 4-B, YOU ARE NOT CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF— DO YOU COPY? REPEAT: YOU ARE NOT CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF— WHO IS IN MY SHIP?!"

Maris blinked. "Should I answer it?"

Ben shook his head fiercely. "Absolutely not. If we don't answer, they can't yell at us."

"That's not how it works!" Ahsoka snapped. "Ben— we're stealing a shuttle!"

"Borrowing," Ben corrected. "Stealing implies we won't bring it back."

"Are we bringing it back?"

Ben paused, did the mental math, then shrugged. "We'll see how the day goes."

The comm continued blaring:

"SHUTTLE 4-B, YOU ARE ON A COLLISION TRAJECTORY WITH THE SOUTH TRAFFIC LANE— ADJUST COURSE IMMEDIATELY OR YOU WILL— HEY— HEY, WHO'S TOUCHING MY SHIP?!"

Ahsoka slumped lower in her seat and whispered to the heavens, "Why do I care about these idiots?"

Because she did. Against all logic. Against all self-preservation instincts. Against every warning the Force had ever tried to send her.

She cared about Ben, with his ridiculous optimism and even more ridiculous hair, and his unwavering belief that every terrible plan was one brilliant idea away from becoming legendary. And she cared about Maris, whose default emotional setting was "Chaotic Neutral, leaning toward Gremlin," and who treated danger with the same energy someone might treat a carnival ride.

They were disasters. Walking, Force-sensitive disasters.

But they were her disasters. And if she didn't make sure they didn't die… no one would.

Ben jerked the shuttle up and they shot through the hangar mouth, wobbling into open sky. Coruscant's air lanes unfolded before them — a bright, endless maze of traffic streams like glowing arteries.

The shuttle surged forward, narrowly avoiding a passing speeder with a furious honk. Ahsoka felt her lekku curl tight against her skull. "Ben, slow down!"

"Can't! Not until we're clear of the Temple airspace." Ben leaned forward over the controls, fully committed to the chaos he had created. "Almost there!"

A stern, clipped voice came through the comm: "Unidentified shuttle, this is Coruscant Traffic Control. Adjust course immediately— you are violating civilian lanes—"

Maris reached toward the comm switch. "Should I—?"

"No!" Ahsoka and Ben yelled at the same time.

Maris pulled her hand back with a pout. "Why do you two get to have all the fun?"

"We are trying to not die!" Ahsoka shouted.

"Speak for yourself," Ben said. "Maris and I are doing amazing."

Ahsoka stared at him. "…Ben, we nearly hit four things in the last thirty seconds."

"Which means we didn't hit them. That's skill, Ahsoka."

"That's luck!"

Ben smirked. "Skillfully applied luck."

Ahsoka thumped her forehead against the viewport and wondered if she could apply for asylum with the clones. They seemed nice. Orderly. Sane. She could live in their barracks. Learn their card games. Never fly with Ben and Maris again.

The shuttle jolted sideways as Ben executed what he confidently referred to as a "slight maneuver" and what Ahsoka referred to as "a cry for help."

Traffic lanes blurred around them, streams of speeders splitting like water around a rock — except the rock was on fire and making wrong decisions.

A speeder driver shouted something obscene through the window as they passed. Maris waved cheerfully.

Ahsoka pressed both hands over her eyes. She could already feel the punishment stacking up. The scolding. The formal reprimands. The "deeply disappointed" look from Master Yoda that made her feel like she'd kicked a tooka. The look from Master Plo, which would be worse because he'd still love her while she suffered.

She'd joined the criminals.

She was one of the criminals.

She was going to get a criminal record before she even became a Padawan.

Ben, because the universe refused to stop indulging him, let out a whoop of triumph as the shuttle burst free from the densest lanes and shot upward toward open sky.

"We did it!" he shouted. "We're officially fugitives!"

Ahsoka groaned long and loud, sinking so far into her seat she considered never emerging again.

Maris grinned back at her. "Hey, at least the view's nice."

Ahsoka stared at the ceiling.

"I hate both of you."

Ben whooped again, steering them toward the clouds.

...​

The moment the shuttle stopped rattling like it was being piloted by two children with brain damage—because it was—my eyes locked on the navscreen lighting up with our destination coordinates.

KORRIBAN.

The word glowed in this deep, brooding red, pulsing like it wanted to warn me, Hey, kid, this is where Jedi go to die, get haunted, or make very poor life choices. The whole thing felt ominous. Dramatic. Heavy.

Then I realized the color setting was just set to "Alert Scarlet."

"Okay," I muttered, leaning forward and poking at the controls. "But what if we don't do 'blood of a thousand Sith' red? What if we did…"

I flipped a toggle.

The text turned bright green.

The ominous vibe died instantly, replaced with something that reminded me of Master Yoda. Or my trusty lightsaber. Or a salad. Granted, I hate salads, but at least I know I could annihilate them if I wanted to.

Much better.

I sat back, visibly pleased with myself. "Now that is a much friendlier ancient Dark Side planet."

Ahsoka leaned forward between the seats, staring like she expected the navscreen to burst into flames just for witnessing my existence. "Ben, why would you—why green?"

"Because it's less 'You will die horribly' and more 'Please enjoy your visit,'" I said. "Also it reminds me of Master Yoda."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure he'd be… thrilled."

Actually, I wondered what Master Yoda would say if he could see me right now, sitting in a stolen shuttle with two of the Temple's biggest agents of chaos, heading to the Sith homeworld. He'd probably sigh. Maybe do the disappointed slow blink. Or tilt his head and say something like:

Failed, I have.

I snorted. Out loud. Ahsoka gave me a look like he's finally snapped.

The starfield ahead of us stretched, elongated, and then—

FLASH.

Hyperspace swallowed everything.

I felt my heart lift, like it always did when the blue tunnel of light wrapped around the ship. Hyperspace was freedom. Adventure. Possibility. Consequence-free velocity.

…In theory.

Ahsoka settled into the copilot's seat with the energy of someone resigning themselves to a fate they had been warned about repeatedly and yet still walked into. She crossed her arms. Her montrals tilted slightly toward me — the Togruta equivalent of a raised eyebrow.

"You know we're making a huge mistake," she said quietly.

She didn't sound angry. Or scared. More like someone narrating the doomed choices of her own documentary.

I should probably feel a little guilt about that.

Instead, I grinned.

"Yeah," I said. "But imagine how cool it'll be if it works."

Her face did that thing where she wanted to be annoyed but couldn't quite get there because part of her also wanted to laugh. She looked away, muttering something under her breath about "idiots" and "terrible ideas" and "why do I like you people."

Behind us, Maris made a content little noise. I turned just in time to see her perched cross-legged on the emergency supply crate like some kind of smug gremlin queen, chewing a cookie with the serenity of a monk contemplating enlightenment.

"We're so dead," she said happily. "I love it."

"Wait—are you eating the cookies we brought for food relief?!" I leaned back over the seat, scandalized. I didn't even get to open the first pack!

Maris shoved another one in her mouth without breaking eye contact. "Maybe."

"Hey! Don't eat all of them! I want one!"

Ahsoka lifted her head, eyes narrowing like a predator hearing prey rustle in the grass damn her sharp, flawless instincts. "Cookies?"

"No," I said quickly. "No, these are mine. I called dibs. I'm the captain. I get a cookie."

"You're not the captain," Ahsoka said, already unbuckling. "And I want a cookie."

I clutched the crate reflexively. "These are my cookies. You left me alone for two minutes in the hangar and I almost died; I deserve these."

"You almost died because you're you," Ahsoka countered. "Gimme."

"No!"

"Ben." Her voice dropped an octave. Jedi Youngling Training Voice. The one that sounded like she was ready to swing a training sabers at my head. "Give me one."

"They are the last happy thing on this ship and I earned them!"

Maris, in the background, whispered like she was watching gladiatorial combat. "Good… fight."

"Maris, stop encouraging her!" I snapped.

"I'm not encouraging— I'm enjoying," she said, taking another slow bite. She was doing it on purpose. She wanted us to see the dramatics of the nibble. Sith behavior.

Ahsoka lunged for the crate. I yanked it away, scrambling backward across the floor, narrowly avoiding hitting my head on the bunk frame.

"Hey!" I shouted. "Personal space! These cookies are sacred!"

Ahsoka pounced again. I rolled.

"Ben, just give me one!" she shot back.

"No! The last time I shared snacks with you, you ate the entire pack and said it was 'accidentally on purpose!'"

"That was one time!"

"That was last week!"

"Children," Maris said, licking crumbs off her fingers, "please. There are more cookies in the box. I packed a lot."

We both froze.

Slowly, we turned.

She was sitting on the other half of the crate. The unopened half. The larger half.

Ahsoka blinked. "…Maris."

"Yes?" she said sweetly.

"If you had more cookies," Ahsoka said, "why did you—?"

Maris shrugged. "Drama."

There was a moment of silence.

I whispered reverently, "You are… terrifying."

Ahsoka nodded. "Yeah. I actually respect that."

Maris grinned like she'd just been handed an award.

I cracked open the untouched half of the crate and passed Ahsoka a cookie. She took it with the kind of gravitas usually reserved for treaties or small, fragile animals.

We sat there for a second, nibbling in relative peace. Hyperspace hummed around us. The cabin lights buzzed. A broken panel somewhere near the refresher made a sad little rattling noise.

And for a moment — just long enough for the Force to settle quietly around us — it hit me:

We were actually doing this.

We were on our way to Korriban.

The Sith homeworld.

Alone.

No Masters. No supervision. No permission. No plan.

Just three half-trained lunatics and a shuttle that handled like a half-melted datapad.

I felt a ridiculous, wild thrill spark in my chest. The kind that said, This is either the best idea I've ever had or the beginning of a disaster ballad future Padawans will sing while sweeping the Temple.

Ahsoka leaned her head back against the seat. "When we get arrested," she said, "I'm blaming you first."

"That's fair," I said.

"I'm blaming both of you," Maris added. "Equally."

"That's less fair," I said.

Ahsoka gave me this sideways smile — tired, stressed, fond in the way only a best friend can be while contemplating the legal consequences of your joint stupidity.

"You know," she said softly, "if somehow… somehow… we don't die?"

"Yeah?"

"This is going to be the coolest thing we ever do."

I felt my grin stretch.

"Oh," I said, leaning back and letting hyperspace blur into a blue river beyond the viewport, "I'm counting on it."

...​

It has taken me eighteen chapters to come full circle like this, but now that we have, let me ask you...

Have you tried the cookies?

...

...

...

...

As a general reminder, this will be the last daily uploaded chapter to this fic. Updates will resume weekly on Tuesdays. If you'd still like to read ahead, feel free to check out my Patreon, link below:

My Patreon

 

[numlore]

this is either going to go gloriously perfectly or end in our boy channeling enough lightning to nuke a planet no between

 

[ZzzSlothzzZ]

stare at a screen until my brain slides out my ear and hope the Force uploads the lesson into my skull.

Click to shrink...

aka Meditating: Protagonist Level

Emotional support knives?"

Click to shrink...

That's not an emotional support knife, THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT KNIFE!!!

"I'm encouraging us."

Click to shrink...

Battle harem goooo!

I like Maris


Yup
Initiate gets grounded, immediately runs away to Korriban with his battle harem friends

"By bringing cookies to… Korriban."

Click to shrink...

Speedrunning to the darkside C%

 

[numlore]

also realization hits but its entirely possible all the ghosts try to temp them all to fall (like what happens to the exile in the caves in kotor 2) and the only one to go "naw thats stupid" is ben lol

 

[po-tay-toes]

so, they have now 'tried the cookies'.