The Curious Case of Rei Ikari

[Jackie]

Chapter 15-A:
Asuka Strikes​

The sound of metal striking metal startled me. I'd never admit it to anyone, but I was scared. We'd come under attack, soldiers had boarded the carrier. They took over the cockpit, and we ran. Misato shot at them, she probably hit some of them.

And I was on foot, where I couldn't do anything. I was an Evangelion pilot, an air-force Captain. I wasn't a foot soldier. Bright red was poor camouflage, at that. Didn't matter though. I was scared, but I wasn't stupid. I knew what the game was.

Win or die, there is nothing else.

Well, that was the idea at least. And there was the gun sitting on the decking at my feet, so there was that too.

"Asuka, run!" Misato yelled as the arm wrapped around her neck and the man pulled her off her feet.

I felt myself trembling, I dropped into a crouch and snatched the pistol up off the ground, I could do this, right? I was trained for this, just in case. I never thought it would have actually come to it though.

But that was exactly where I was, staring down the sights of a Sig Sauer P226 pistol. Locked, loaded, and ready to fire. And I couldn't pull the trigger, because I couldn't stop my treasonous hand from shaking, couldn't keep the sights on target. Couldn't stop the cold sweat inside my plugsuit. What a fucking failure.

The solider dragged her backwards through a hatch, and a single gunshot ran out. There was a sudden intense burning in my side, I felt like throwing up, my knees got weak. I was hit, I was shot. The alarms in my plug suit started to screech.

The burning hot sting of the coagulants that the suit injected into the wound brought me back around. I felt jumpy, twitchy, ready to go. Adrenaline response had me absolutely lit up. Fight or flight, live or die.

I ran. I could access Unit Two, tear this whole place apart. That must have been their mission. Capture Unit Two, capture an eva pilot.

They weren't getting my Unit Two, and they sure as hell weren't getting me.

Left foot, right foot. The soles of my plug suit clicked across the decking. The burning went all the way through. They were using submachine guns. Full metal jacket probably, there was an exit wound and it wasn't very big. Bullet went straight through me.

It was kind of funny, I went from terrified to analyzing my wound and sprinting through the aircraft after being shot. Adrenaline was a hell of a thing, my neuro-chemistry was shot. Didn't matter. There was a mission to be completed. I had a goal, right?

I couldn't show the world who I was if I didn't make it through this. That would be unforgivable.
I dropped down the stairs at the end of the corridor and felt the wind knocked out of me when I hit the deck, felt the wound shifting around the hot foam plug that was keeping my blood inside me. I grit my teeth and pressed on. It wasn't far now. People were going to die today, and I was going to kill them. It was a fact that I was beginning to realize, and yet I couldn't make myself care, not really.

They were here of their own will, they consented to combat, right? They already shot me once. What was that old saying? My sympathy for your cause ends at the barrel of your gun? Yeah, I could relate.

There was noise and light up ahead, I sped up, intent on using the adrenaline while I had it. If I could get to Unit Two, this entire thing would be over. I wasn't doing it to play the hero, no. That wasn't my role in this, I was doing this for me.

Or maybe I was doing it to show up stupid Ikari. She killed an angel with a fighter jet? Lucky. I was going to end this entire confrontation by myself.

My eyes darted left and right as I turned the last corner, I heard footsteps on the decking head. I snapped the pistol up and my eyes followed it, a single soldier standing guard in front of the hatch, the last barrier between me and my Evangelion.

My finger snapped down on the trigger and the gun jumped in my hand, I heard screaming after the first shot. My finger snapped down again, again, again, again, again. Each step closer, another shot. I watched the man turn, turn. Blood sprayed against the wall next to him, he turned more, fell.

I ran past him, through the hatch way. The screaming stopped, my throat was sore. I stopped and leaned against the frame of the hatch, panted for breath. I started to slide down the wall and caught myself. If I sat down now I might never get back up again.

I stumbled away from the wall and across the deck plating, the entry plug was right in front of me, all I had to do was climb in, and I was home free.

I grabbed onto the side of the slick white cylinder to steady myself and tapped my code into the keypad with the muzzle of the pistol, couldn't bring myself to put it down, not now. Not after that.

The hatch slid open and I dropped climbed into the plug. My feet hit the LCL in the partially full plug, and I finally closed the hatch behind me. It was then that I finally put the pistol on safe and dropped myself into the soft control seat.

My back tensed up when I hit the cushion, the jarring of the impact sent a jolt of pain through my wound, and that woke me back up. Now that I was finally sitting, I wasn't quite so tired anymore. Probably for the best, I definitely had internal bleeding.

I dropped the pistol into a pocket on the side of the control seat and grabbed the sticks. The bottom dropped out and I felt the plug sliding down, down into Unit Two. The autostart had kicked in, good.

Wouldn't be long now, just lean my head back against the seat and wait.

xxx​

The taste of LCL and the cool motion of liquid across my skin were the first things I noticed. Then, the jarring vibrations. I'd dozed at some point during the start-up procedure, but the Eva was active, and still running on the standby power from the carrier.

Which was listing to one side.

I blinked away the fatigue as the radio crackled in my ears, "Asuka, if you're listening, I have Misato. Repeat, I have Misato. Get out of there."

Ikari? How the hell did she… I looked down and behind me, toward Two's feet. Yeah, there was that stupid fighter jet.

I looked up again and saw the bottom hull of the carrier. So it was just bad guys then? They'd killed the crew, I'd watched that.

Hell with em. "Well, you gotta die of something. Unit Two activating."

I settled myself into the control seat and hauled back on the control sticks, felt the sympathetic feedback of the restraints on Two's arms and legs, and pushed. I could feel the metal creaking, hear it through the microphones, feel it in my hands.

And then all at once it snapped and I felt myself in freefall.

I smirked despite myself "Nah, not that easy." I snapped a hand out and grabbed the carrier as I fell away, got a nice big chunk of the leading edge of the wing root in my hand and ripped right through it. They weren't getting far without that wing.

I coughed into the LCL and opened a link back up with the jet, with Ikari, "Unit Two… Is away."

I shook my head and bit down on my tongue. The endorphins were starting to wear off, being shot had this way of hurting unimaginably when you had to actually calm down and deal with it.

I tapped out the necessary commands into the MFD set in the center of the control panel and activated the glider pack that my unit was equipped with. Twenty minutes of power in the pack, well… with the rocket assist and the right glide slope, I could make shore easily, almost certainly get to an auxiliary power hookup for Unit Two before the batteries ran dry.

As I finished punching in the autopilot corrections I finally chanced a glance over at the F-2 and… wait, where the hell is the canopy? There was red trailing down the side of the fuselage too, hydraulic fluid? No, it didn't look like it took damage, wasn't trailing smoke.

I clicked a few buttons on my left control stick and zoomed in.

"Oh, fuck."

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 16:
The Mighty Fall​

You brought her down alive. You did your job. Save the world and then worry about her when you're done. Right? Right. And still, still I couldn't get the image out of my mind. I'd carry it with me until the day that I died.

And they'd congratulated me, told me I'd done alright. I'd killed… I couldn't keep track of how many. Either when I shot down those phantoms, or when I'd hosed down the cargo hold with twenty millimeter. It was alright though, they were the other guys. They were the bad guys, right? That's what they said, and they'd killed too, they'd have put me in the ground, and Misato too.

But they were afraid of us, weren't they? They were afraid of the Evangelion, they were afraid of the person piloting it. I wasn't stupid, I knew what the score was, and I couldn't imagine that they were really so far off.

No, there were only a few ways this was going to end, and I knew that by the end of it, we were going to prove Rose right.

But the truth was, I didn't care. In that moment, I didn't care, couldn't have cared. I could have been ending the world right then and there and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. They had my friend, they took over that carrier, tried to kill me, and they had my friend.

And it didn't matter to me how many it would take to put me down, didn't matter how many they were going to use. I was going to cut a path through them, ram them out of the sky if I had to, I wasn't going to let them keep her. Wasn't going to let them keep me from her.

I kicked the nose wheel of the jet and spit on the flight deck. So, what had I done? I'd killed men and women who truly believed that they were fighting to save the world. Executed them, put them in a watery grave. Because they were between me and my friend.

Because even if they were right, I couldn't let them win, not yet, not while there was so much left to do.

There were Angels left to kill, people left to protect who were counting on me to protect them. I had a city full of people that needed me, or else they would die.

The truth was, though, that I was being selfish. Truly, I was my Father's daughter.

"Wish this reunion could have been under different circumstances, and I wish we had the time for a real conversation, but circumstances are against us this time."

I blinked and looked up, the captain was there. "Captain Clark. It's that time again, then?"

He had the good grace to look conflicted about it, and he was probably genuine in that, too. He'd been the one that had a problem with sending children off to fight, but then, that was before I had all this blood staining my hands, wasn't it?

It didn't matter, I was already in it, right? Misato was hurt, she might die. I'd killed for her, and because I'd killed for her I got her back. I'd killed men and women who had thought they were saving the world, but they crossed me to do it, made me look down into myself and show them what I was really made of.

And when the cards were down, I was a killer.

"There's an Angel on its way to Tokyo-3. We've got a helicopter on standby, they're going to deploy you alongside the Evangelion, in the field. You have to leave now, I'm sorry that there isn't more time," he explained to me as the wind swept across the deck and rippled through his uniform.

"And you decided to tell me in person?"

"That was one of my conditions. If I'm going to let them send a child out to war, I'm at least going to give her the courtesy of telling her myself."

I sucked my lips against my teeth and felt the smirk creeping across my face. It was like that, right? I knew this feeling, remembered it from that life I never lived. "Alright, you know what I did up there, don't you? I guess they want me to keep killing, right?"

"You changed up there."

I sighed, looked off the end of the flight deck towards the shore, "I just had some aspects of myself clarified, that's all."

His lips pressed thin and he stared at me. Agreement, or was he holding something else back? Would he try to stop me, change his mind, tell them to find someone else, because they couldn't have me?

Who was he to save my soul?

My face felt hot, heart pounding. Palms slick, sweaty. Legs tensed up, ready to spring forward or lash out. Adrenaline, the thrill of the fight, or the fear of loss, maybe. I knew what I'd done, and I knew what I was going to do still, so could he really stop me?

He lifted his arm as if to strike out, I flinched, and his face softened. He set his hand on my shoulder, "Don't lose yourself out there. You've got someone here, and she's waiting for you to come back. Alright?"

xxx​

Back in my yellow plugsuit, the vinyl polymer wrapped around me like the hug of an old friend, I stared into my hands. Head down, eyes half closed and with my hair dangling down in front of my face, the taste and smell of jet fuel thick in the air.

And I couldn't ever, wouldn't ever, forget the sound of the rotors cutting through the air. Familiar enough with that sound, I would have known it even if I hadn't heard it for a hundred years, a thousand. A lifetime ago.

And on that sound, on that smell and taste, I was carried towards fate. The things I was asked to do, the things I would do, to fight for a future that wasn't meant for me. Not anymore. The future isn't for the people who fight to create it, is it? We're just here to make sure it happens.

A commodity to be expended, fuel to be burnt in the engine of war.

Her father wouldn't have wanted that for her, and maybe mine would have agreed, once upon a time. But she'd never had her mother, and mine had died, and my father had grown colder, bitter and full of hate and rage. His opinions had changed hadn't they? Was I his daughter again?

Or just a cog in the machine, a component to make the Evangelion move, the organic processor?

The polymer glove on my right hand was wet, vision was blurry. My face was tight, my eyes hurt, chest was heaving. Tears, I could still feel then, even after what I did, what I tried to make myself enjoy. But there was still guilt, and hurt, and pain.

Misato wouldn't want me to feel like this. She'd warned me, hadn't she? She knew what was down this path, she'd walked it herself. She'd wanted better for me, wished she could take my burden, hadn't she?

So, that's where I found myself, then. The unenviable position of having to fight for her, and try to honor her desire to see me able to live with what I'd done at the same time.

But I'd had a good reason then, and I had a good reason now.

If it hadn't been for Angels, for Evangelion, none of this would have happened, I wouldn't have become the pilot of Unit One, and I wouldn't have killed those people.

But I wouldn't have met Misato.

The helicopter rocked to the side suddenly and I blinked the tears away, jerked my head up and looked out into the distance. The scream pierced my soul. I could feel it with every fiber of my being, it resonated within me. The Angel?

It wouldn't be long now, till we landed. Till I boarded my Evangelion. Till I, once again, rode into battle, the spoils of which would be the salvation or damnation of mankind, of my own soul.

And I couldn't help but think that if I found one, I'd lose the other.

The pitch of the rotors changed, the floor tilted and I looked up, the trees were getting closer, we were descending. Dropping fast, a combat landing? They were in a hurry, much more and we'd probably vortex ring into a fiery crater.

The tip of the purple horn crossed the plane of the helicopter's side-door, and again, as before, I was left speechless. The sense of scale, the sheer size and presence of One was intimidating, but it was more than that; there was a power about it. More than just the power that comes with size, there was something deeper, darker, more primal about it.

An energy.

I clenched my right fist and cracked the knuckles, licked my lip and snorted, no matter how many times I saw it, it never got old. There are some things we never lose our sense of wonder about.

The head came next, the shoulder, the bicep, the chestplate. The helicopter rocked violently and the pitch of the engine rose sharply, g-forces pressed me down into the seat as the pilot spilled off our vertical speed. A jolt, the skids hit the ground.
Arms reached in to grab me, to help me out and to the ground. The glare of the sun behind the owner of those arms blocked out his face, but I accepted the help down anyway. The ground against my feet, soft earth. Couldn't remember how long it had been since that had happened. Days? All of that time had really blended together in memory.

A few steps from the helicopter, the hulk of Unit One blocked out the sunlight and I got a good look at the man's face.

"Father?"

xxx​

The soft whisper in the back of my mind. The gentle, warm, touch of the LCL against my face, in the moment before it's charged. The feel of the saddle against the plugsuit, the way it conforms to my body. The feeling of love? Power, purpose, conviction.

A feeling not that far removed from the unexpected hug my father had given me, just before he sent me on my way.

"I'm home," I whispered, and opened my eyes. The plug was lit up, the weight of the armor hung heavy on my body, the earth was soft under my feet, and the sky above bright and cloud free.

I glanced to the side, at the support staff, at my father. I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth, and pushed myself to a standing position. Muscles tightened under armor plating as thousands of tons of bone and blood stood tall over the outskirts of the city of Tokyo-3.

For a minute, I could forget what had happened that day, I could forget about Misato lying in a hospital bed, could forget about the war and why I was here. Forget about that other girl's life, and forget about the things that made me want to forget. I just sat in the saddle and felt the power.

I had to wonder if that link between us was more than just sensation and control, if there was something more exchanged between us. If the Evangelion was sharing personality and thought with me, on some subconscious level. Every time I sat in the saddle, I felt… more.

"Rei, the Angel is approaching from the sea, you are being deployed to intercept. Unit Two will be your backup once recovery is complete."

Evangelion had a way of making me feel like I was right. It had a way of making me not feel the guilt from what I'd done only a short time ago. Or maybe I was just looking for an excuse to stop feeling those feelings.

"Cyl-- Er, Ikari acknowledges. I'm moving out now," I replied and started to step forward. Like riding a bike; you never forgot how.My time spent away, in the fighter jet cockpit, hadn't dulled my Evangelion piloting. It was like slipping into your favorite sweater, it just fit.

"What's this, you're actually responding to comms? This might be a first," the voice on the other end of the link chided. Sounded like Akagi, a glance confirmed that theory.

"Doctor, nice to see you. Figured I'd give it a shot. Will Ayanami be joining the party today, or is this a solo dance?" I asked as the trees grew thicker around me and I left the outskirts of the city behind.

"Ayanami is on station observing the Angel. We are having her relaying intel until you arrive. It's not yet worth the risk to have her attack without you."

I nodded absently and started poking at the MFD set into the pommel of the saddle, there was a data link from zero, live data from her surveillance of the Angel then? I toggled through the feeds until I got to the video uplink, static crackled through the entry plug for a few moments before an image resolved, floating in front of me, of the feed from Ayanami's Evangelion.

Was this going to be hero stuff or killer stuff?

Only one way to find out.

"Ayanami, I'm on my way, how's your dance card lookin?" I asked through the open link as I poured some speed on and broke into a run. Telemetry said I wasn't far, and I could make out the vague shape of the Angel on the horizon already.

"It has an opening, Ikari."

I grinned suddenly and poured on some extra speed, that angel wasn't gonna know what hit it. "Alright, well pencil me in!"

The Eva was really moving now, trees and the odd building passed by me as little more than a blur. An alarm briefly shrilled in the entry plug to let me know I was running out of power cabling. That was a limitation I hadn't missed when I was in America.

It didn't matter, this would be over with time to spare. I popped the release catch on the left control stick and ejected the power cable, I wouldn't be needing it anyway.

According to the telemetry from Ayanami, the Angel was stationary, as if waiting. I hated to leave it in suspense. Licked my lip and forced the control sticks forward to there limit, my thumb popped the release catch on the back of the one in my right hand and activated the progressive knife stored in the shoulder pylon.

Half a mile, plenty of room for a run-up, and a convenient hill as well.

I snatched the knife from the shoulder pylon and angled myself through the trees, the Angel in my sight. At this speed the trees didn't even fall over, they were shattered on impact. I couldn't feel it, it didn't matter. Nobody was dying today, this would be over in a minute.

"Ayanami, cover me!" I yelled into the radio as I hit the hill, planted my right foot at the top, and launched myself into the air. The force of the jump pushed me down into the saddle even as I leaned forward, as if I could use my own body to urge the Evangelion onward through the air.

Tracer fire lanced up from the ground below and peppered the surface of the oddly shaped Angel, shells the size of trucks deflected off of a body composed of dark metal spikes and spires and spheres. But even as strange as the Angel was, it still had that bony face plate, and behind it the red ball I was looking for.

I pulled my arm back at the Apex of the jump and flipped the knife around in my hand. One throw, why the hell not? I grit my teeth and let out a snarl as I put my entire being behind that one throw; muscles coiled and tensed, and then released like a shot, the knife went sailing through the air with all the force an Evangelion could muster--

I couldn't breathe, the world was spinning around me, my chest was on fire. The world was spinning around me, the LCL was… cloudy? Altitude, I was losing altitude, I could feel the falling, the spinning. I tried to reach down for the ejection handle, had to punch out before I hit the ground--

No, I was in Evangelion wasn't I? I was piloting Evangelion, not an airplane. I jumped and… why was it so hard to think? Why did everything hurt? Cold, wet… I felt the air on my face?

The alarms wouldn't stop screaming in my ears, the control stick slipped out of my hand. If I could just… think, for just a few seconds, I could correct, land on my feet, if I could just--

 

[macdjord]

Evangelion: Reminding us why putting teenagers in giant war machines is a Bad Idea since 1995.

(Edit: Man, did NGE only come out in '95? I'd thought it was older...)

 

[nobodez]

Excellent chapter(s). I really liked the perspective from Asuka.

 

[chiufan95]

When will chapter 17 be out?

 

[Jackie]

geeze so impatient.

 

[chiufan95]

geeze so impatient.

Click to shrink...

I just discovered this last night, and I loved it.

 

[macdjord]

Jackie: Something's been bugging me. You said at one point that the reason the Bad Guys the whole 'hidden SAM site' sneak attack, rather than just putting in a proper air ambush and pressing the attack, was because they didn't have modern planes to take Rei and her escorts in a fair fight. But in that case, how did they successfully prosecute an attack on an entire airbase filled with modern planes and SAMs?

 

[Jackie]

Jackie: Something's been bugging me. You said at one point that the reason the Bad Guys the whole 'hidden SAM site' sneak attack, rather than just putting in a proper air ambush and pressing the attack, was because they didn't have modern planes to take Rei and her escorts in a fair fight. But in that case, how did they successfully prosecute an attack on an entire airbase filled with modern planes and SAMs?

Click to shrink...

Because it was a suicidal diversion. If a Viper and a flight of F-22s saw a swarm of phantoms and sabrejets pouring onto them, they could easily turn and run and never look back. If Rose hadn't been a spectacular pilot, she wouldn't have been able to flee when she played spotter for the S-400, and she still wouldn't have been able to take them in a dogfight, not in that plane.

The planes attacking the airbase, however, were a mix-match of an absurd number of early supersonic and late subsonic fighters, because the airbase can't run away, and because to them, it was a target worth losing *all* of their lives to capture. The assault on the airbase, and the subsequent assault on the carrier, was literally everything that organization had to throw at Nerv, at that time. Remember, much like Nerv, Rose's organization thinks it's saving the world.

attacking the airbase was intended to force the evangelion carrier to launch without an escort, so that it could be captured later. If Ikari hadn't been in the viper zero when it was pushed off the deck, they would have succeeded.

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 17:
Alive.​

I woke with a start, the last memory, the falling, the impact? My eyes slid open slowly, sluggish despite my sudden panic, and I took deep lungful of air. The scent of alcohol and antiseptic thick on the air--

And a sudden stabbing pain in my left side as my lungs filled hit me like a truck, causing me to gasp and make the pain worse until I exhaled, and the pain subsided. Well, that pain. The rest of my body was slowly reporting in with aches and pains, and weird pinching pressures all over.

The left side of my body hurt the worst, but for the moment all I could seem to do was stare at the tiled ceiling, too sluggish and weak feeling to do much else. I was commanding my body to sit up, take stock of the situation, yet my muscles refused to heed the call.

I licked my bottom lip. Tongue worked, mouth worked. Tasted like rubbing alcohol and the back seat of a taxi-cab inside, but it worked. I let out a breath and took in another, slower, less completely, to avoid that sharp stabbing pain a second time.

I started at my hands and slowly tapped each fingertip to the tip of my thumb, working the muscles in my forearms. Stiff, a little tingly in the extremities. My right hand was more or less normal feeling, but the left was… off, just slightly.

But I was alive, and in one piece, at least. Mostly.

I felt sick to my stomach, the muscles in my left arm started to tense up, that fall couldn't have been good for it, probably made the break worse. I needed to get out of the bed, get up, get moving!

I started to move my right arm over to the railing of the bed, slow deliberate movements that fought against the fatigue of long term unconsciousness… or maybe I'd been sedated. My fingertips found cold metal and I grabbed on with as much of my slowly returning strength I could muster.

The muscles in my arm felt weird as they tensed up, like taffy being pulled taut. It was a disorienting sensation, but I pulled. I strained against gravity and fatigue, and hauled myself upright and ended up mostly in a sitting position, with most of my weight leaning on my right arm, against the bed rail.

Hospital gown, loose fitting, with wires coming out of it all over my body. Monitoring equipment no doubt, and certainly they'd know I was awake by now. My eyes drifted to the left, to my other arm, the one not holding me up the one--

The one without a cast on it any longer. It was loosely bandaged all the way up to my shoulder, covered by the gown, but there was no cast, and it actually hurt a lot less to move than it had before. How long had I really been out?

The door clicked open and I turned my head towards the sound, a lazy, almost drunken wobble of a motion. The figure was blacked out by the contrast of the bright light coming into the room from behind them, so it was only after they'd taken a few steps into the room that I was able to make out their features and determine--

"Misato,"I said simply. My voice came out rough, dry, strained. Vocal cords hadn't done anything for a while, that much was clear, and the cotton mouth didn't help either. She was up and about? After what I'd seen…

No, she had a limp, some bandages still. Couldn't have been that long then. Few weeks maybe? "You're alright then," I continued, "I was worried out of my mind… when I saw you like that."

She limped into the room, a fast purposeful limp and put her hand on my shoulder, "I was more worried about you. You nearly died on us. They should never have sent you out to fight after what you'd been through."

I felt a sad smile creeping onto my lips and I looked down at my bandaged left hand and opened and closed my fist experimentally, "Well… You know how it is."

She laughed, "Yeah, I know how it is. Didn't think I'd be standing here, to be honest. I have to thank you for that. You're crazier than I give you credit for. How'd you know it would work?"

I turned my head and looked up at her with a grin, "I didn't. I just had a really bad idea and figured 'why the hell not?' and went for it."

"Didn't work out as well for you the second time though," She replied, her expression shifting back towards the neutral. She hadn't been there, but that didn't mean…

"I guess we won then, after I went down? We're still alive so I guess that's how it went huh? Who landed the killing blow anyway, Ayanami? Asuka? The IPEA pilot?"

She shook her head, "That's a story for another time, after you're back on your feet and have had some time to decompress. I'm just glad that you're alright… The rest can wait for later."

Something nagged at the back of my mind, something about Ayanami… I had a sick feeling in my gut, an anxiety that started to build the more I thought about her… "Is Ayanami alright? I know… that probably sounds weird, but she's okay right?"

Misato flinched, just a little, but enough for me to notice even in my less than stellar state. Something about that had bothered her. I'd need to find out why. "Ayanami is fine," she answered quickly, "She's fine, I've got to go talk to Ritsu, you'll be fine until I'm back, right?"

"Yeah," I said softly, "Yeah, I'll be fine."

She turned to leave and I really got a look at how she was moving, a limp on her left side, her whole body was stiffer than it should be, her pace wooden. She wasn't as well off as she'd have had me believe, but it was a testament to her strength that she was even walking after what I'd seen. Or… a testament to how long I'd been out.

I looked down at my left arm again, flexed the hand. It wasn't broken anymore, but it was different. I frowned and leaned back against my pillow.

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Step, click. Step, click. "So, you're awake now, huh?"

I turned my head to the left, Asuka, but she looked… rough. She was walking with a Lofstrand crutch in her right hand, every step looked like it was causing her pain. "I should be mad at you," she continued, "I should be furious, I just… don't have the energy for it right now."

I raised my eyebrows at her, "You know it's not my fault you got shot."

She grunted and shook her head, "No, but you are responsible for what came after. During the battle that came later."

I leaned forward in the bed, "I don't remember what happened after I blacked out, and Misato wouldn't tell me. But you were there weren't you? They said that you'd be deploying to help us fight--"

She snorted, a derisive, vulgar sort of sound, unamused, I detected, perhaps, contempt? "No, I never got that chance. It wasn't the Angel I had to fight, it was down before I'd even got there, as were unit zero and unit five."

I narrowed my eyes, felt… something, stirring up inside me, some feeling. That anxiety came back, made my stomach hurt. My left arm was tingling, my left lung had that stinging stabbing pain, my ribs hurt… I licked my bottom lip, "So, if the Angel was down… then… No."

I didn't want to believe it, I couldn't have, I wouldn't have. Not against her, not against anyone, not against the people I was trying to save! But… That other voice in my head, the dark one, the devil on my shoulder. You're a killer, Rei.

It couldn't be, I wouldn't.

"Yes. That's exactly what it was."

xxx​

My eyes cracked open slowly, a racking cough ripped through my body and blood poured out of my mouth. I was dying, it wouldn't be long. My left arm was gone, part of my shoulder with it. The burned flesh and melted plugsuit sealing the wound was the only thing letting me draw any breath at all, and It wouldn't be long until I was gone.

The plug was punched clean through. I'd telegraphed my attack and the Angel took advantage of my ballistic trajectory to take me out of the fight, out of the war. Through the hole in the plug, through the Evangelion itself, I could see unit Zero. Ayanami, she was still fighting, she was going to win. I watched Unit Five roll into view, saw Ayanami climb onto it holding a spear in her right hand.

There was a cloud of smoke and both Evangelions rocketed upwards. They were going to do what I'd tried to do, but they were going to win, to succeed where I'd failed. They'd kill the Angel, they'd kill the next Angel. Even without me, they'd--

Unit Zero slammed into the ground in a cloud of dust and debris, my own damaged Evangelion shook with the impact. As the smoke cleared I could make out one of the Angel's spears pinning Zero to the ground.
"Ay...a…nami..." I croaked out. She couldn't die, not like this, not here and not now. No, I couldn't let it end like that. Not after everything.

I clenched my right hand into a tight fist around the control stick. I wouldn't let Ayanami die. I wouldn't let Misato die. Not today, not ever. Not while there was one single breath left in my body. I wasn't going to lose the only friends I had left. My only… family.

I pulled the trigger on the stick and forced it forward with the strength I had left. The batteries were flat, I didn't care. I had to make Eva move. I needed to make Eva move. I was going to make Eva move.

Another spear shot out from the Angel and nailed Zero to the ground. My blood boiled.

"N...No!"

The blood was rushing in my ears, my heart pounded in my chest harder than it had any right. I leaned forward, rolled onto my stomach, and pushed myself into a standing position. I was wounded, punched through the chest, my left arm hung limp at my side. My right hand was clenched into a fist, the purple armored glove stained red with blood. My blood.

Zero lay at my feet, crippled and twitching, pinned to the ground with a severed power cable, leaking blood and… LCL. This wouldn't stand. I looked up at the Angel, and it fired spears down at me, but this time I was having none of it. My right arm snapped up, hand open, palm outstretched. The AT field snapped into existence and the spears crashed into it and melted into oblivion.

I stared at the creature with such disgust, such contempt, such hatred. I wouldn't tolerate such an abomination, such a creature that would kill Ayanami. I would have my revenge, I would atone for my failure.

I leaped from the ground, leaving a crater behind me as I closed the distance to the Angel's main body in an instant. My good hand grabbed that bony Angelic mask and ripped with everything I had. The stringy flesh resisted, so I lunged forward and bit into it, jerking my head, ripping and tearing--

xxx​

I jerked forward, gasping for breath, my face slick with sweat, my hair matted down to my face. I could still taste the metallic coppery flesh, the rubbery skin, the blood. I shuddered and clenched the bed rails in both hands and tried to catch my breath.

Both hands… I looked to my left, my bandaged left hand was clenched around the steel pipe, and yet I remembered what it was like to not have it, having had that… flashback?

"Welcome back, you were gone for a minute."

I snapped my head over to Asuka. It was funny, that dream, or flashback, memory, whatever it was, it gave me an adrenaline rush that cleared the fog and lethargy from my body. I had to know though, what I'd seen, I had to know.

I forced myself upright, dragged myself over the railing of the bed. Adrenaline forced weak muscles into action and I crashed to the tile floor in a pile of tangled limbs and wiring. I grabbed a handful of the sensor leads with my right hand and ripped them out of my gown. The stinging bite of the adhesive pads ripping away from the skin of my chest only served to amplify my drive.

I grabbed onto the bed rail with the left hand that shouldn't even be attached and hoisted myself onto my feet with a powerful yank. My legs wobbled under me, yet I held on. This was important, so very important. I could force myself, for this.

One foot in front of the other, even with the sound of my heart hammering in my ears, I could manage that. Left, right. Little stumble, catch myself, left, right. I just needed a mirror, the private bathroom attached to the hospital room was in front of me, it would work.

I grabbed the neckline of the hospital gown with my right hand and pulled it up and over my head as I shuffled across the room, a half panicked limping gait. The kind of walk a person has when they're forcing their body into doing something that it absolutely doesn't want to do.

With a bit of tugging the loose knots holding the fabric to my body gave way and the thin garment came free and was dropped to the ground unceremoniously. I stumbled into the door and grabbed the handle, shoved it down and was rewarded with the sound of a click and the sudden lack of resistance to the weight of my body against the door.

I fumbled for the light switch and then squinted against the sudden oppressive brightness of the florescent tubes set into the drop ceiling. I braced myself against the stainless steel sink and stared into the mirror. My hair was a mess, my roots were showing, black under the blue it had been dyed, un-brushed, unwashed.

My eyes were bloodshot, the bags under my eyes told a story that the rest of my body already knew by feel: It was a rough time, as of late. The red spots on my chest from the sensor probes that got ripped off sat in stark contrast to the pale skin surrounding them. I needed a tan, what else was new?

My eyes drifted over to the bandages wrapped around my left arm and I grabbed onto the edge of the wrapping and started pulling, unraveling the long strip of gauze. With each unwound coil my eyes grew wider, a sort of mute panicked shock, yet I could not stop.

Healed scars, sure, but with each inch, each foot, I knew that my fears weren't unjustified. While the truth of the matter wasn't anything I'd have ever imagined, the proof staring me in the face was fairly irrefutable. From just to the left of my breast, up and over my shoulder, and down to my waist, a healed, yet still very fresh looking scar.

A scar made ever more obvious by the contrast of my flesh to the right of it to the almost super-naturally pale skin to the left. To the arm that looked just like mine, only… slightly not. I held the two hands together, nearly a match and yet… that left hand was very familiar to me, as I'd seen it before.

The fight, Unit Zero on the ground, being pummeled…

I clenched a fist and turned for the door, she said she was fine, she'd said that Ayanami was okay, but if she was, then how…

I grabbed the door frame with my right hand and pulled myself through the door, running more on fear and panic than anything else, if I had this arm, that meant--

"Ikari, I'm… glad to see you're awake and on your feet," the soft voice said.

I blinked, Rei Ayanami was standing in front of me, wearing her school uniform and most assuredly with both of her arms. How in the hell? I held up my left arm and looked at it, and then past it to Ayanami.

"Ayanami, you're… you're alright?"

"I am," she answered, and I could almost swear I saw the barest hint of a smirk in the corner of her mouth, "and you are naked."

 

[Skelm]

I'm kind of surprised they used one of the Rei clones instead of just growing her a new arm. Is this just to get her back into action faster?

 

[nobodez]

I'm kind of surprised they used one of the Rei clones instead of just growing her a new arm. Is this just to get her back into action faster?

Click to shrink...

Feels like that was why. And Asuka told her about it just to spite her, as is Asuka's way.

 

[macdjord]

I'm kind of surprised they used one of the Rei clones instead of just growing her a new arm. Is this just to get her back into action faster?

Click to shrink...

AFAIK, they never demonstrate any cloning ability except the Ree, and while the Ree are obviously growth accelerated to some degree, since they appear to be Shinji's age despite having been created at least 6 years after his birth, that does not imply the ability to grow a functional organ from scratch in any time less than years.

 

[Jackie]

I'm kind of surprised they used one of the Rei clones instead of just growing her a new arm. Is this just to get her back into action faster?

Click to shrink...

They didn't activate a new clone, they just used parts from one.

 

[Skelm]

They didn't activate a new clone, they just used parts from one.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, that's what I meant by "use a Rei clone".

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 18:

Out of the Fight​

"With respect, that's bullshit."

My arm was itchy. Nerves connected to new, fresh nerves, skin that'd never seen sunlight or felt the air before was getting used to those new sensations, and my brain was trying to get used to the changes. I had a headache, my mouth still tasted like rubbing alcohol, and I really needed to eat something.

"You need to stop looking at it like a punishment, Rei. We're worried about you, we want to make sure you're healed up, both physically and mentally. You almost died." She said to me. I could hear the pleading, she wanted me to understand, needed me to see it from her point of view.

"So what's new about that? I could die any time I go out there. We're in the middle of a war and you're putting one of your best assets on the bench? How the hell does that make sense?" I yelled back with my fists clenched down at my sides. At least it wasn't broken anymore, even if it wasn't my arm, eh?

"It doesn't matter anyway," she said after a slight pause, and with a dejected sigh, "Unit One and the entry plug were both damaged extensively in the fight. We couldn't send you out even if we wanted to."

"You can't send me out in Unit One, that doesn't mean I'm an invalid, Misato. The fact that you're still standing should be proof enough of that." I spat back, I could feel my fresh fingernails digging into my new left palm.

"Well, I dunno Rei, I think it's nice havin' ya back and not dead. Maybe we could keep it like that for a while?" A new voice with an osakan accent?

I recognized that Osakan accent.

"Suzuhara?" I turned and looked at the jock, still as I remembered, a bit sharper looking in his nerv uniform.

"Did you miss me?"

I felt the grin pulling at the corners of my mouth and took a few steps toward him, "Yeah, but my aim is improving. Come here." I took another step and pulled him into a hug. He was taller than me, stronger, but that didn't seem to matter as he let me drag him into the embrace.

I guess when a cute girl does something, a teenage boy is inclined to let her do whatever she wants.

Or maybe he really did miss me, one of the few people my own age I could call a friend.

It was almost like a wave of self-awareness washed over me; the simple friendship with someone my own age put the entirety of my recent misadventures in perspective. With everything happening, things seemingly larger than life, Suzuhara was… a constant.

One I was immeasurably thankful for, now more than ever.

I pulled away from the embrace and looked up at him, "So… where's Hikari?"

"Do you need her to hit you in the head with a lunch box again? Will that knock some sense into you?" Misato quipped from the other side of the room.

I shook my head. "Nah, just figured that she and Touji would be joined at the hip. Or, maybe at the lips" I teased. I still needed to eat something.

"Hey it's not… completely like that. And besides, I'm sure you've got somebody that you're hot for, Ikari!" My athletically inclined friend protested.

I felt a little heat in my own cheeks and shrugged, "Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. Still doesn't change the fact that you'd rather be giving Hikari--"

"Anyway," Misato interrupted, "While this is fun and all, I think our meeting here is over. I've got more work to do, and you've got some mandatory down time. Think of it as a vacation."

XXX​

A vacation, that was what I needed. Sure.

I hated vacations, there was always this unspoken obligation to go out and do something, go some place, have fun! It wasn't fun if you stayed in one place and just relaxed. It wasn't fun if you weren't moving and doing and experiencing.

I didn't agree with that though.

I had always been the staycation queen; take time off, stay home, do nothing. That made it even better then, that there was a beach right here in Tokyo-3. Not on the ocean, that wouldn't have been that fun with the blood sea anyway, but on one of the many, many lakes dotting the countryside.

And it was permanently hot and humid anyway so it may as well have been the ocean. The real one, not the dead one in this shitty universe.

Still, it was nice to get some sun, for sure. Laying back on a beach chair, tanning and pretending that there weren't sixteen, no, I looked over to the treeline, make that seventeen section two agents making very sure that nobody tried to kill me, and that I didn't somehow end up on a jet over the pacific again.

You know, just in case.

Still, scars didn't tan very well at all, and as my bikini made readily apparent to anyone with eyes to look, I had an extremely alarming number of them. Mostly centered around my left side and my new arm, that angry looking slash down my side that showed exactly where they'd grafted quite a bit of new body onto my own thrashed one.

So I was still hot as hell, just in a 'Lady Frankenstein' kinda way. Yeah, no ego here at all. Part Ikari, part Ayanami, all Rei, all the way. It was as good a guess as any as to where they'd gotten the parts to put me back together. It beat a broken arm any day of the week.

I was the human version of a custom hot rod.

I sighed and cracked my neck. It was still boring as all hell. After the fighter jet combat, the angelic beat-down in unit one, and everything else that had been happening in my life, trying to relax just felt like somebody turned the volume on my life down to mute.

"Nice lake. Is your handiwork?"

I tilted my head to the side and looked over at the Russian-accented speaker. He was familiar to me, a Very large Russian man, Naval uniform. Oh.

"Captain-Lieutenant, nice to see you again? What brings you to my beach?" I asked the man. Denisovich was quite possibly the last person I would have expected to see here.

"Is your beach? Forgive my intrusion," he laughed. "I had hoped to see you sooner. We had heard that you were injured in the most recent battle but NERV would not allow visitors." He paused and I caught his eyes lingering on my numerous scars, "However, I am pleased to see that you are still in one piece, the rest of the crew will be relieved."

I laughed and shook my head, yeah one piece. "The rest of the crew? I didn't think I met that many of them."

"Not as such, no. However, you made quite an impression when you made such productive use of our fighter jet. After that, well, you were talk of the ship."

I nodded. That must have been quite something from the deck of the ship. I wish I'd felt as heroic about it as they seemed to think I was. "I do kinda wonder though, how did you manage to find me on this beach of all places?"

"I may have called in a favor or two with the KGB. Was no trouble at all to find you once you came back to the surface."

I laughed and shook my head in disbelief, "You called in a favor with the KGB to have a conversation with me? What did Section Two have to say about that?"

"As I said, I may have called in a favor or two with the KGB." he stated in a flat, matter of fact tone.

I blinked when the pieces clicked together in my head. "Oh. That's… very enlightening."

He nodded. "Truth is, for the most part, cooperation between our organizations is paramount, so most requests are granted. 'Little blue hair girl' being on vacation makes this request even more likely to be granted."

"Seems like a lot of effort to go through just to talk to say hi." I looked up at him with a slight frown. "Is that really all you came for?"

There was a lot I could believe, but a Russian naval officer deciding to just 'hang out' with a fourteen year old Japanese girl 'just because' strained my credulity.

"Your fight over Japan has important men concerned. This 'Rose' is a dangerous woman, she's a risk to you, and so she is a risk to all of us. The truth is, we have been unofficially assigned to look after you. I suspect the Americans have a similar arrangement. You could call it a favor. If this 'Rose' shows up again, we will come to your aid."

XXX​

I'd been left with no shortage of questions and fewer answers than I would like. So the Russians were sticking around in Japan. Kitty Hawk was here too, I knew that because I'd landed there. Most of the fleet was probably with it.

I really wish I had a gun.

As if a war against otherworldly (but not really) beings wasn't bad enough, now I had the Russians and quite possibly the Americans as well trying to groom me for who knows what. And whatever organization Rose was part of.

Somehow, I didn't think that was the last I was going to see of her. After what she did to Misato, she'd better hope it was.

I frowned. I was torn about how to feel about the air battle, still. On the one hand it was pretty clear cut that they earned everything I did to them. On the other, there could have been a better way.

But then what they did to Misato, what they did to Asuka. What they did to the people at Travis. Even if they were right, they had gone about it in such a wrong way…

I'd gladly be on the wrong side if it meant I hadn't acted like them.

I kicked a discarded can down the sidewalk, the roads clearly hadn't been getting cleaned between the crater lake and the apartment. With all the devastation in the city recently they probably had more important things to worry about than litter control.

I was momentarily taken by the mental image of a janitor lamenting his lot in life while trying to mop up the millions of gallons of Angel blood that had been spilled in the city. A little old Japanese man with a mop, staring at this wall of blood and gore rushing across the city with a look of bitter resignation.

I chortled.

It wasn't the most ladylike of sounds, but damn it felt appropriate.

Of course, the Russians we were following me a few hundred meters behind me probably got a laugh out of it too. They weren't doing a very good job of being covert, but at least they weren't trying to get in my way.

It was a little difficult not to think of them badly. They were ostensibly protectors, if I was to take Denisovich at his word. That of course didn't change the fact that it was still the KGB. What I, She, remembered, well, it didn't always paint them in the best light.

The same could definitely be said of the CIA though, and if the Americans were truly involved, the alphabet agencies wouldn't be far away. From there it was only a hop skip an a jump to some truly insane spy-vs-spy bullshit that would only make my life more complicated than it was.

Still, it had to be a hilarious sight for anyone watching. A small blue haired girl with way too many scars, in a white sun dress, being followed by men in black suits trying and failing to be inconspicuous. It probably would have worked if we hadn't been in a relatively deserted part of the city.

It seemed like more and more people were leaving every day.

The sound of a car engine shook me from my reverie and I stopped to look over my shoulder at the approaching… Honda Civic. Somehow I'd prepared myself for something a little more imposing or at least flashy.

But, the little blue car was slowing down and eventually pulled up along side me and sstopped. And the window rolled down. And I rolled my eyes.

"We've got to stop meeting like this," I said with a frown. Him? Of all of the people that the Americans would send… Actually it kind of made sense. We'd already met and developed a working relationship, of sorts. We'd had Dennys.

"Hey at least you're sober this time." Becket said from the driver's seat of the car. Good ol' Bucket.

"That's what you think. I'm drunk with power. You know, when I said you could join us in Tokyo-3, I wasn't actually serious. I don't think I have room in my bed for two," I joked with a shake of my head.

"Nothing like that, I've got a place to stay I promise." He laughed, "Besides, I heard what you did the other day. I might have to start calling you ace."

"I'd love it if you didn't."

"Well, fair enough. What's with all the suits?"

"KGB. Long story. How did you find me?"

"Long story. Need a ride?"

I shrugged, why not? "Sure. No grub stop this time?" I asked as I grabbed onto the door handle to get into the car.

"'Fraid not. Actually, I need to see Katsuragi." He explained while I buckled myself in.

The seat felt new, clean, despite the apparent age of the car. Interesting, that detail might be important later. I filed it away in the back of my mind.

"That's not shocking. Do I have some kind of tracking bug implanted in my head or something? You're the second totally random member of a military group that's just happened to stumble across me today."

"Do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you something to make you feel better?" He asked as he pushed the car into gear and pulled away from the curb.

"Which one keeps me from jumping out of the car and running screaming into the wilderness, never to be seen again?"

"Well, given what happened with the pacific fleet, and then again what happened in California--"

"Let me stop you right there, I think I've seen this movie before," I cut him off. "The Americans want you to follow me around because they're afraid of whatever group tore Travis a new one?"

"Basically."

"And I'm guessing Nerv is okay with this."

"Basically."

"Did you bring the rest of the flight with you?"

"The ones that made it out of Travis." He went quiet after that, his voice flattened, the emotion fell out of it.

I clenched my fist against the seat cushion. So it was that bad. I shouldn't have been surprised. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. You paid them back for it. With any luck we won't be seeing any of them again."

I noded. "Yeah. Have you seen the gun camera footage from the Viper Zero?"

"Yep."

"And?"

"Got no complaints."

I sat back and leaned my head into the seat. No complaints huh? He saw what I did then. He saw everything that happened. He didn't disapprove. That… actually made me feel a lot better.

I sat quietly for a minute, then felt a smirk creeping onto my face. "So, you're going to try to put the moves on Misato."

"You're not wrong."

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 19:
By Any Other Name​

What I wouldn't have given to understand the girl staring back at me in the mirror. To understand both of what had come before, that I might understand what the future would hold. I couldn't help but feel that the person I'd become, the two parts that made the whole, was somehow worse than what composed it.

Rei Ikari wouldn't have had the courage, That Other Girl would have had self control. Misato wouldn't have gotten hurt, those other pilots would be alive, and the carrier wouldn't have been shot down. Right?

Maybe.

I frowned and straightened the red necktie that was part of my uniform. My yellow sweater-vest was… a comforting bit of familiarity, and I was glad to be wearing it again. It meant school again, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

At least they didn't know about the blood on my hands, couldn't see it.

I clenched my left hand into a fist and stepped away from the mirror. That wasn't a line of thought I needed to drag myself down yet again. It's not about the past, I'm fighting for the future, right? Those who can fight, securing a future paid for in blood.

So maybe I couldn't force myself down a different line of thought. But then, I wasn't wrong. Every war in human history was paid for with the blood of innocents. This war was to ensure that humanity was more than just history, it was for us to have a future, right?

Anyone who would try to stop that… they were on the wrong side of history.

"Lookin' sharp there kiddo."

I felt a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth and turned around to face Misato. "I try."

She was looking a lot better, the bandages had come off. The scars never would. She still had a cane, and a limp. How many people was I going to get almost killed?

Or kill, for that matter.

"Not going to wear the proper uniform then?"

I looked down at my canary yellow vest. "No, this is… special to me. If they don't like it, they can pilot the giant robot."

"Don't forget you're off the active roster right now, Rei."

"Oh, I couldn't forget that," I muttered back. My fist started to clench at my side.

She frowned, she'd noticed my body language, not that I'd been trying too hard to hide it. "Look, Rei--"

I shook my head and cut her off "I'm leaving, call me if you need me to kill something. I know, I know, I'm not allowed to pilot Evangelion right now, but I think we've established that I don't need one to get the job done, and that's what I'm useful for, right?"

I spun on my heel and stormed out of the apartment, my blood was boiling. This wasn't like me, it wasn't like her either, but I couldn't keep it in. I was irrationally angry, and I couldn't really, really convince myself she was wrong for keeping me out of the entry plug.

But I was hurt, so I wanted to hurt her back.

My right hand hurt, my nails had dug into my palm and drew blood. Was it Evangelion that had made me feel like this? Was it a result of my injuries? The replacement arm? Maybe it was because of whatever it was that made me into… whatever the hell I was now.

And for that matter, to hell with school. It might have been important, once upon a time, but now? What the hell was the point? I had already found my place in life, hadn't I? Point me and pull the trigger.

My shoes clicked against the pavement, I was walking fast, my adrenaline was pumping from my anger, fight or flight short circuited with no real outlet. I didn't have a destination, I wasn't paying attention to the direction, I was just moving, because that's what I could do.

XXX​

The sun was beating down on the back of my neck and the humidity was uncomfortably high. The air tasted like, for lack of a better word, plants. By the time I'd calmed down and bothered to pay attention to my surroundings I'd found myself on the outskirts of the city, there were more trees than houses, more grass than sidewalks. It was as though civilization had abruptly ended, deciding that nature could keep this part of the land.

I'd run away, like he would have done. What that other girl had done, and what the me before I was me wanted to do, every day.

It was the first time I'd really gone into nature since I'd been here. It was pleasant, not necessarily calming but it helped to distance myself from my problems, at least for a little while.

But then, there was that part of me that wished, that knew, if Misato hadn't been with me, I'd have pointed the nose east after Alaska and not stopped till the tanks were dry in a misguided effort to resume a life that had never been mine. To reconnect with family and friends that had never been mine in the first place.

I knew they were alive. I could feel that, somehow. Her family, those people who she'd known, they weren't the type to go gentle into that good night.

There wasn't a place for me there, any more than there was a world in which I didn't have to fight. A world in which I truly fit in, or a world in which I got to have the happy lovers ending.

There were two people, really, who'd have fit the requirements for that, for me, and neither was within my grasp… not really.

Who would have thought a chance to start over as a teenager would be such a burden?

I blinked my eyes and was suddenly aware of just how quiet it had become. The cicadas had stopped, no birds chirping, just the sound of the wind in the trees--

Section Two wasn't following me. They were good, but there was always a tell, distant footsteps, muffled voices, something to indicate that I wasn't alone, something to make me feel secure.

And it was gone.

Had I ducked them completely? With the Americans and the Russians both following me, could I really have gotten away from them?

The first blow came from behind and I stumbled forward, the second blow had me face down on the ground in a cloud of dust, then there was a weight against my back, a hand on my head, and something sharp poking me in the neck.

"You're not very skilled outside of the cockpit are you? That's good to know. And here I was hoping you'd been taken out in that last fight, but taken out of active duty is good enough for my purposes," The voice was… familiar, not quite hateful, but dripping with fake sweetness. She was angry.

I winced at the poking in my neck. "So, what, are you just going to kill me then?" I asked. I caught sight of some of the woman's skin, a little darker than my own, something was familiar about it.

"No, I couldn't do that, little Ikari. There's something about you that just draws me to you. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I noticed it right after you killed all my men, right after… hmm, is she your lover I wonder? That Katsuragi," the woman continued. Rose, that's who it was, the woman who never gave me her real name, and seemed to know too much about me.

I spit into the dirt and tried to shake her off of me, until the tip of her knife pressed firmer against my skin, "As if I'd ever tell you. I don't know how you got off that carrier, but you should know that if you kill me, there won't be a place on this earth you can hide. You know that right?"

I felt her shift on me, and then heard her inhaling, smelling me? "Oh no, little Ikari. I have no reason, no need to kill you. Nerv is who I am after, and you're far too interesting for me to kill. I even respect you, you did what you had to do, to save the one you love. Right? I wouldn't do anything differently. No, child, you get to live, as long as you stay out of an Evangelion cockpit."

I felt the knife point pull away from my neck and I turned my head to try to get a look at her face, she shoved my face down into the dirt and I spit again, "You know if you let me go, even if I don't have Evangelion, you know I can still fight you. If you let me live here, you know I'll fight you again."

I felt her lips press into the back of my neck. "Little Ikari, if I kill you now, you won't have to live with what you've done." She laughed, "That doesn't mean I can't hurt you though."

I felt her weight pull off of me for an instant, then I heard a loud crackling sound and every muscle in my body locked up, my lungs started to burn for oxygen I couldn't take in… and then it all went dark.

XXX​

I awoke to the sound of rustling leaves and a taste in my mouth not entirely unlike a handful of nine volt batteries mixed with airbag propellant. The back of my neck felt like I'd spent too long in the sun, and with skin like mine that could get a little intense.

She'd had a knife, but instead opted to knock me out with a stun gun. For better or worse, I knew what that felt like. It didn't feel like a trip to the spa.

There was, however, one thing I was absolutely certain of: that bitch was crazy.

The rustling of the leaves grew louder, so I figured it might be time to actually open my eyes and see what all the fuss was about. I cracked my eyes open hesitantly, unsure of, of all things, the light levels. Nothing makes a headache like the one I was becoming increasingly aware of better quite like opening your eyes into direct sunlight.

Not that I'd had to worry, six men were blocking most of the, much dimmer than I'd expected, sunlight. Not suits, and not quite plain clothes. They were dressed in the polo and cargo pants attire that screamed 'I'm military but I'm pretending I'm not' to anyone with eyes.

Two of them were crouched next to me, one of whom had a stick in his hands and looked like he'd been getting ready to poke me with it, the other four standing on perimeter.

I opened my eyes the rest of the way and opened my mouth with an annoyed grunt. "Yeah, I'm not dead. Feel like it though."

"--found her, yes. She's awake." I heard one of the guys standing on perimeter say into his radio. Accent was definitely American. Interesting.

"Could have used you guys a few hours ago..." I muttered under my breath and started to sit up. Stick-guy put his hand behind my back and helped me up, the other Crouching Nameless nodded to Stick, and stood up to walk away.

"You'll be alright. We weren't sure if we should move you, but ah, well you woke up well enough on our own," Stick guy said to me. He sounded American too.

"Is this a kidnapping? You're not Section Two, right?" I asked over the dull ringing in my ears. If I could go a day without getting the shit knocked out of me, I might just die of shock.

"Actually… no. We'll explain the rest of it later. For right now, we're… friends of a friend. It took us a while to track you down-- I'll let Becket explain it when we meet up with him, we're extracting… right about now actually."

"Extracting? What the hell's going on?!" I yelled suddenly. I clenched my right hand into a fist, and everything in my soul was telling me to wind up for the knockout. All of that rage from before started boiling up again. Stop treating me like a child.

The other men glanced at me for a moment, but Stick-guy was the only one to actually respond to me. "Look, we'll explain it when we have the time. You're not the only one who had an interesting day today. There was an attack, and the city's being evacuated."

"An attack? An Angel?" I asked, I felt my fist relaxing. I needed medication, I shouldn't be this erratic--

"No… and yes. You'll see. We're leaving." He said, and gestured towards the sky.

I followed his hand and saw a helicopter coming in hot. It was bigger than the Huey I'd ridden on before, and it was flying way too fast to set down, not that there was a clearing big enough. I only had a few seconds to think about it before the helicopter was overhead and had pulled into a high G turn to spill off speed and altitude at the last moment.

The rotor wash nearly knocked me off my feet, they were definitely in a hurry. I couldn't help but wonder what would inspire such recklessness. But then, I was probably about to find out.

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 20:
For you, my friend.​

So that I'd have to live with what I'd done. That's what she had said to me before she'd jammed the stun gun into my neck. So that I'd have to live with what I'd done? I had done nothing she hadn't forced my hand into doing.

But it was also nothing I hadn't been willing to do. Part of me certainly enjoyed it. It was nothing that other girl hadn't done. It was something he wouldn't have done. It was something the old me wouldn't do.

I sighed and clenched, then relaxed my fist. We'd meet again, of that I was sure. Next time, I'd get my answers from her, or I'd get even.

The helicopter set down on the flight deck with a dull thud and a slight tremble, far less violent than embarking had been, and for that matter the ride itself. Whatever had happened had them all spooked as hell; we'd been flying balls to the wall, fifty feet off the deck, the whole way to Yokosuka.

Yokosuka was… different. The naval base was about the only thing left of the original city, rising sea levels and all that. Not that I'd likely have had the time for exploration anyway. The Kitty Hawk was as I remembered it, less the damage it had taken during the battle in the arctic.

I stepped out of the helicopter and when my feet hit the deck I was aware of the almost imperceptible tilting of the deck. A ship of Kitty Hawk's size was very stable, but it would never be quite as solid as the planet was.

They were definitely on high alert. There seemed to be an endless cycle of jets cycling on and off the deck, to say nothing of the four Iowa-class battleships forming a loose perimeter alongside.

"Glad you could join us Miss Ikari. It's been too long."

I turned on my heel to face the source of the voice that had broken my concentration on the fleet. "Captain Clark. You know, I didn't think you'd go to such great lengths to bring me back for that dinner," I offered with a laugh. "You know, there are probably better places to evacuate me to."

"But none safer," he replied with a smile. He was holding something back. He had to be, I refused to believe that it was an accident that they'd found me after my encounter with Rose. I think that was just coincidence, they'd probably been looking for me anyway.

"Four battleships and an aircraft carrier could give a girl that impression. So where's Becket?" I asked. I couldn't get a read on the situation, something was just a little off about this whole thing. But then, I was supposed to trust Clark, wasn't I?

"On mission. You should come inside. Things have happened."

XXX​

The officer's mess, with actual seafood, was not where I'd expected my day to end up. With both Clark and Denisovich, no less. The silence was tense, broken only by the sounds of my own chewing.

I wasn't about to let actual seafood, and who knows how they got it, go to waste.

The guards outside of the room were armed to the teeth, full tactical gear, armor, M4s, the works. Whether that was to keep others out, or to keep me in, remained to be seen.

I looked up at the two men sitting opposite me at the table, "So--"

"I would like to begin by clearing the air as to the nature of this meeting," Denisovich interrupted. "I have been directed by… actors outside of my standard chain of command to capture Miss Ikari, should the opportunity present. I suspect that Captain Clark has received similar instructions as well, yes?"

Clark nodded and turned to me, "He's not wrong. I've elected to ignore this directive. You could consider this to be a professional courtesy extended due in no small part to your actions in the arctic. I believe the Captain-Lieutenant feels the same way."

"This is correct."

I jerked my head towards the door, "Forgive my impertinence; if you're not capturing me why the guards?"

"That's for appearances sake. What's important is that you're safe on the Kitty Hawk, for a short while anyway, and no-one will be looking for you here. These accommodations are certainly more to your liking than what these back-channel actors have in mind, I assure you," Clark explained while eying the door as well.

I looked down at my new left arm and back up, "Yeah, I imagine they've got more than a few questions… So what's this about an evacuation, an attack?"

"Your friend, this 'Rose', has been very busy today. She and her group raided a Russian airbase and attacked key power facilities in and around Tokyo-3 four hours ago. Three hours ago an Angel was detected in orbit on an intercept trajectory with the city. Katsuragi passed this information to us two hours ago," Clark explained.

"So she's armed again? I'm enjoying this less and less."

So the lunatic chick was making her moves again. Telling me to keep out of Evangelion, not that it would have made a difference since Misato had me pulled from active duty. The IPEA pilot, Asuka, and Ayanami, could handle one Angel by themselves. But with Rose back in the picture…

"It is unfortunately worse than that." Denisovich shook his head, "Among captured aircraft were at least two Sukhoi PAK FA and an unknown number of Su-35 aircraft. Airbase was bombed shortly after."

"What we would like to know, is if you have anything you can tell us about this 'Rose', you've fought her twice now, and we do know she contacted you shortly before your extraction. I understand if this is difficult, but we don't have much time--"

"No, it's fine." I answered quickly, blinking away a tear. "There are some things I can't explain, that you wouldn't understand. She seemed familiar to me. I didn't see her face, she wouldn't let me, but there was something about her that I remembered. She was familiar in a way that… In the same way the cockpit of that F-2B was familiar to me."

I paused for a moment, that… was the way meeting her felt. Like something from that other girl's past, something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"For what it's worth," I continued, "I don't think she means to kill me. I think that she's more concerned with preventing the Evangelions from being used than to actually kill people… though she's clearly willing to kill to make that happen. She told me she would let me live as long as I didn't pilot again."

Denisovich leaned back in his chair and stared at the wall behind me, "This does match what we do know of her. Her group has a stated anti-Nerv goal. We don't believe her to be the leader of the group, only one part of it."

"This isn't making me feel that secure. Why are you even telling me all of this? I'm just a kid, right?" I rubbed my forehead and leaned against the table. And this, after they extended the offer of help before? It sounded like they were under orders to take me off the table.

"You're right. And as loath as I am to send a child into a fight, I don't think another four years would really make me feel all that much better. No, I think for better or worse that word doesn't apply to you anymore. Not after I saw a little girl climb into a fighter jet and do what grown men couldn't or wouldn't do." Clark paused and stood up from his chair.

"Captain?" I tilted my head in confusion. This wasn't a one-eighty from his reaction to my piloting Evangelion, but it was close.

He turned to me and smiled, or tried to. "I can't take you away from here, as much as I wish I could. There's something important for you to do here. You can do something I can't. I can't keep your safe on this ship and do what I need to do, and you wouldn't be able to do what you need to do… no." he paused, "I'm not really being very clear. I haven't rehearsed this you know? Once this passes, when we come out of the other side of this battle. When Nerv has you back on their radar, when we no longer have the plausible-deniability to spirit you away, we can revisit this conversation."

I blinked a few times and stood up I felt a little shaky on my legs. Stress probably. "So you're going to put me in a situation where too many people have eyes on me to get away with a smash and grab."

He smiled, genuinely this time. "What I'm saying is that this is my ship, and my fleet. These men and women are under my command. I'm not going to do the wrong thing, order my people to do the wrong thing, because of some hidden agenda cloak and dagger bullshit. I'm certainly not letting the world end over politics."

"As far as Russian navy is concerned, I have not seen you here. Of course, last time I saw you, you were on the beach." Denisovich laughed.

"I still don't understand exactly what you meant when you said you didn't like to send a child into a fight."

"Well… as it happens I have something of yours that I've been meaning to return."

XXX​

"The most beautiful girl that I did ever see, I dreamt that one day I would get inside her. I finally got my way, I ride her every day. She's the only one for me and she's a Viper," I muttered under my breath, the words from a long forgotten memory, brought back to me in that moment.

That other girl, she'd been a Mudhen driver through and through, but I wasn't her, was I? No. I was something else entirely, and I'd felt a kinship with this machine. Not like the bond with the Eva, but no less valid either.

We'd fought and killed together.

Besides, when it came down to it the F-2B could turn circles around the 15E. But if Rose had flankers…

I was to leave the Kitty Hawk. I didn't have the fuel to make it to North America, not from here. Still, three bags could get me far from here, far from the fighting, far from Rose, from Evangelion, from the war.

It felt damn good to be back in the pilot's seat, back in the flight suit, with a helmet that fit. They'd even put my name under the edge of the canopy. 'R. Ikari.' and 'M. Katsuragi' was a nice touch.

I punched through the MFD weapons inventory. It didn't tell me anything I hadn't already seen when they'd taken me out to the flight deck to see it. Two Sidewinders, four AMRAAMs, three drop tanks. Loaded for bear, but with flankers in place I could see the appeal.

Still, it made me wonder what kind of shit the Americans had on the shelf, if they were so casually loading me up with this much firepower.

I dropped the canopy and was satisfied when I heard it lock. The flight deck crew was under the nose gear securing it to the catapult. Everything that other girl's memory told me said that a Viper Zero had never been rated for this, but then this wasn't that girl's world.

I felt lonely with the back seat empty, though.

"Iris, ready for departure."

And I waited, hands on throttle and stick. At least my arm wasn't broken this time. I had to wonder what was taking them so long, I was ready to go, I was on the catapult. I might not have known exactly where I was going to go but--

"Iris, stand by."

That might not be okay. I craned my neck to look over my shoulder towards the conning tower, and caught sight of a super hornet being lifted up on the elevator.

"What's going on?" I called out into the radio. "It's getting kind of crowded out here."

"We're taking you off the catapult. Cylon flight has engaged in combat in Tokyo 3 airspace. We're sending support."

Cylon flight? Becket? Taking me off the catapult? No. Hell no.

"Negative, Kitty Hawk. If you want me off the catapult, fire it." I could kill, I'd killed. I had a reason to kill, and people to kill for. If Bucket was fighting flankers and needed backup, I wasn't gonna stand by and just let somebody else do it.

"Have it your way. Throttle up and prepare for release."

I gripped the throttle in my left hand and pushed it forward to the lock. The plane shuddered as it fought to move, the afterburner lit and sprayed the blast shield with fire. An instant later my head pressed itself into the back of my helmet as the catapult released and I found myself accelerated to flight speed and hurling into the sky.

The airspeed indicator rose along with my altitude as I leaned into the stick and brought the nose up. I snapped my finger over the landing gear actuator and started bringing them in, before too much longer I'd be going too fast for it to be safe to leave them extended.

While I was picking up speed under full afterburner, I toggled through my MFD and armed the AIM-120s. I felt I was going to need them sooner than later.

It was funny, I had no idea where I'd go, just that I could run away if I wanted to, and they were going to let me, going to help me. But then this? They couldn't have planned something to keep me around better if they'd tried.

I looked to the west, towards Tokyo 3. I wasn't that far away, really. Could be there in minutes, and if this was what it was supposed to be… I looked up towards the sky, it was faint, but visible it wouldn't be too long now. The thing they would evacuate the whole city for. An Angel falling from the sky.

Was that Rose's plan then? Attack the Evangelions while they were distracted in a fight, try to kill one, or more, of them? It made sense. It's what I would do. It's not like an Evangelion had much in the way of countermeasures against a fighter jet. That wasn't what they were for.

"This is Kitty Hawk Actual. Ikari, be advised; communications with Cylon flight are down, too much interference. You need to relay a message: Nuclear weapons are in play. Repeating; Nuclear weapons are in play."

I felt my throat tighten up. So that was the plan then, it made sense. The Eva pilots would never see it coming. Misato would never see it coming. The Eva's would be so preoccupied with the fight that they'd never get their AT fields up in time.

But they wouldn't have to.

"Copy, Kitty Hawk. I'll pass along the message. Iris out."

I clenched my fist around the throttle and eased the stick back to bring the nose up and keep my air speed from getting too high. Altitude was energy and I was going to rain down like an angry god.

Maybe.

My hands were slick with sweat and I felt a knot deep in my stomach. I wasn't angry like I was before. I wasn't on autopilot, I had a few minutes to think about what I was about to get into. I had the time to realize I might die.

But there was a world counting on the Eva pilots. I could help them, right? I could try to stop Rose's people, because who else could they be?

I could see radar contacts a hundred nautical miles out, but the returns were distorted, the Angel no doubt. It was blocking radio transmissions, it stood to reason that it could play hell with the radar.

If I was lucky they wouldn't see me coming, but that could backfire quick if the raptors couldn't figure out who I was.

I reached over to the MFD and dialed through it, then punched the center drop tank, leveled off, and watched the airspeed climb. The loss of weight and drag caused the plane to accelerate much harder, in a few moments I passed through mach one point five and climbing.

I rolled my head a few times, cracked my neck, and nudged into the rudder. I could see Tokyo-3 getting bigger and bigger in the center of my HUD.

"Iris to Cylon One-One, come back." I called out into the radio.

Static answered me back, static with… something under it, something disturbing, made me uncomfortable.

Fucking Angel.

"Gotta die of something..." I muttered and reached over to jettison the two remaining drop tanks.

The aircraft lurched hard with the loss in weight and drag, I could see the fight ahead of me, lots of tracer fire. The flankers must have been giving the raptors hell.

"Iris transmitting in the blind; Cylon One-One, be advised hostiles have possession of an armed nuclear weapon. I am on station and preparing to engage."

I clenched my fist around the control stick. That was a hell of a furball I was getting myself involved in. I pulled back out of afterburner and aligned on an aircraft at the edge of the engagement. The raptors were outnumbered, that any of them were still alive was a testament to skill.

Still no response, I rolled the radio over to guard and listened for any kind of communication. Unencrypted comms might have fared better--

What the raptors needed was a distraction.

The radar lock tone filled my ears and I slapped down the firing stud. "Fox Three!" I called out by instinct as the missile rocketed off the rail. Broadcasting on guard, everyone would be able to hear it, but then that was the point.

I was well over mach two, I only had a second, maybe a second and a half, and I'd be out the other side of the fight, but my AMRAAM lanced towards the fighter I'd locked up. Hitting him didn't matter, he just had to know I'd fired on him. The missile went pitbull the second it left the rail, so maybe it had a chance.

I grit my teeth and leaned back on the stick as I passed through the fight, the airframe shook as I pulled hard G's to climb out over the fight. A detached part of me wondered what Misato and the Evangelion pilots would think, if they were looking up at that moment.

I keyed up my mic, "Rose! You're out there, right Rose? I'm fighting your men, that's what you don't want, right? Why don't you come stop me, Rose!"

I kept leaning on the stick until the nose was in the vertical, turning my airspeed into as much altitude as--

I blinked, in front of me was a gigantic eye, attached to the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen in the sky.

It was the Angel, and it was coming.
​

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 21:
I would end the world​

But I'd fought scarier things; before Evangelion, before Tokyo-3. Before this girl's memories got dropped into my head, and before I'd forgotten who I was, for a little while.

The Angel could wait, that wasn't my responsibility. Ayanami, Asuka, the IPEA pilot; They could handle it.

My hand clenched around the throttle and I jerked it back to the idle position and pulled the stick straight back. The force of the maneuver pressed me down into the seat, made the blood rush from my head, but I didn't need to hold it for long.

The ground filled my canopy, and I punched the throttle to full dry thrust. I had a specific target in mind, and the Flankers were too busy with the Raptors, and soon the Super Hornets, to bother with me. I stepped into the rudder and shed altitude as the airspeed built up.

The ground rushed up quickly, the city's buildings had already been retracted for the most part, and so my target would stand out even better. Not that it would have been hard to stop in the first place.

I caught the flash of yellow out of the corner of my eye, and rolled in. I was still doing mach one from the dive, I'd have to shed airspeed, but it should work. It would have to.

I stepped into the rudder and craned my neck to look over my shoulder, nothing… nothing chasing me, yet. The Flankers couldn't afford to disengage even still, but that was what I was counting on.

I chopped throttle down to idle and leveled off into a shallow left bank towards what I could now make out clearly as the form of Evangelion Unit-00. It was big enough, even at this range, that I felt like it could snatch me out of the sky without a second thought.

But if anyone would understand my message, it would be Ayanami.

And I had to risk it.

I dropped under five hundred feet and pushed the gear lever to the down position. Immediately I felt the difference in handling as the drag profile of the aircraft changed, and it was at this point that I was my most vulnerable.

"Let's see if I remember how this works..." I muttered to myself as the landing gear indicators all flashed green. I snapped my finger down on the landing light toggle. That worked.

"Hmm, morse code..." I tapped the switch down and back up. Up down, up down.

N-U-C-F-L-A-S-H

She didn't react, or didn't seem like it. I pulled more throttle and dropped the flaps, I was going to take a low slow pass on her head and see if she got the picture.

I eased the stick over and settled in on a shallow glide slope toward the Evangelion's head, from straight on. Again I flashed out my message.

N-U-C-F-L-A-S-H

I glanced over at my radio panel and tapped out another sequence. The transmitters in the Evangelion had to be a hell of a lot more powerful than my radioset. They could probably cut through the jamming, right?

I-K-A-R-I

2-4-3-M-H-Z

I dropped my hand to the gear lever and locked it in the 'up' position, I couldn't afford to keep going this low and slow. I might have already killed myself, but the message needed to be passed along.

The gear retracted with a subdued rumble until they locked back into position. I stepped into the left rudder and rolled away from the Evangelion. I pushed the throttle forward and I rolled the flap selector back to zero degrees.

I could only hope that somebody figured it out, if anyone was left--

"Be advised, message relayed from Pilot Ikari: Nuclear threat imminent."

Atta girl Ayanami.

The Hornets would be engaging soon, that gave me the opportunity to pull away from the fight and gain some altitude. Get a good picture of the situation. Get clear of the Angel if it came to that.

Or other options involving the Angel.

I caught a flash of movement to my low ten and rolled left to get a better look; Unit-00 had ejected its power cable and began the sprint. It was happening now. That meant the nuke would be in play soon, right?

I eased back on the stick and brought the nose higher, I had to get altitude fast. I could turn it back into airspeed later but I needed to see the bigger picture. Okay, so, if I was a nuclear weapon where would I be?

It wouldn't be with the Flankers, they were stuck in a dogfight with the Raptors and the Hornets. They'd either be fleeing or dying very soon.

I wouldn't trust someone else with that kind of payload if it was my missile. So I didn't think Rose would either. And I hadn't seen her. They'd stolen a PAK though. A stealth aircraft, so it wouldn't show up on radar would it?

And she wouldn't be in the fight… no she'd wait. I would wait. Draw everyone in, and at the last minute--

"Fly in out of the sun so nobody sees it coming." I muttered into my oxygen mask. That had to be the plan, it made sense, it was simple, and it would kill everyone. It is what I would have done.

I punched the throttle up into afterburner and tore for altitude. The PAK FA could out run, out gun, and out turn me any day of the week, but if I got the drop on her I might just have a chance… I jut had to watch my fuel.

After clearing another ten thousand feet I dropped back into dry thrust. I had about two thirds of my fuel left. I had to be careful. I had four missiles left and a full drum of twenty millimeter.

At least I wasn't heavy.

I leveled off at thirty thousand as the falling Angel passed through headed the other direction. The wind shear pushed my jet into a shallow roll but I corrected.

It was go time. I flipped my fire control radar into active and started pinging the hell out of the sky in front of me. As long as she wasn't behind me I should be able to find something.

Maybe.

I caught a return, barely distinguished from the ground scatter, just for a second. It might have been the PAK, but it might have been a Raptor too.

I rolled the weapon selection over to the remaining AIM-120s and warmed up the seekers. Whoever it was, if it was anyone, they might react to their RWR twigging out.

The circle on my hud popped up as the seeker started looking for something to lock onto, a moment later my eye caught motion. Low and to my eleven o'clock, I saw a dim flash as a pair of afterburners lit up.

And it was not a Raptor. It was burning for distance from the fight, rather than toward it, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I switched the missile over to boresight and slapped the firing stud. The aircraft jolted as the missile dropped off the rail and the rocket motor ignited.

The PAK was stealth, but at close range even the best stealth fighter had a radar return, and once that AMRAAM got close enough it should lock on and kill it.

A bright flash of light blinded me from my low ten, the Angel or the nuke? A moment later I felt the shockwave hit my jet and I felt my stomach drop out. The warnings screamed in the cockpit and I felt my head pinned to the side of the canopy.

Flat spin. I jerked my hand back on the throttle and pulled it to idle. How did this go again? It was so hard to think. Rudder in, stick down? No that was wrong. I forced my eyes open to see the world spinning around me counter clockwise. That meant I was in a clockwise spin right?

I stepped hard into the left rudder and snapped the stick over to the left side. If I could get the nose down I might just have a chance. "Come on baby don't kill me now..."

One revolution, two, thee, four. The nose and left wing started to drop. The pressure on my head was letting up.

I felt the jet return to controlled flight. I'd shed sixteen thousand feet. No more time. I punched the throttle back into full after burner and pulled out of the dive.

"Cylon one-one. It was a fake out. Tokyo-3 was not the target. Repeat, Tokyo-3 was not the target. Flankers are bugging out."

The radios were working again. The Angel was jamming us?

"Cylon one-three to Cylon on-one. I had visual on the PAK FA before the blast. If they're not going after Tokyo-3 what's the target? Rose isn't stupid." I transmitted back.

"This is Evangelion Unit zero. Control reports re-entry vehicle currently on course for Toyko-3. Commander Ikari is onboard."

I felt my blood run cold. There was a pit of ice in my stomach. I hauled the stick back and turned my speed into altitude, kept the afterburner running wide open. I would run out of fuel in five minutes. It didn't matter.

"Cylon one-three to all forces, Commander Ikari is the target. I am headed for the merge."

That had to be it, she was going for the commander, my father. She was going to kill him, that was her plan the whole time, the rest was just misdirection.

I could see the plasma envelope surrounding the re-entry craft from here, in the distance ahead of me against the darkening sky. I switched over to my remaining AIM-120 and snapped it off in boresight. I didn't care to bother for a lock, or even confirm what I knew to be true. I didn't have the time, or the restraint.

"Cylon one-three, maddog.

I caught sight of movement again, the PAK had detected the launch and had maneuvered again, re-lit her afterburners. So my last missile hadn't taken her out after all. It didn't matter. I was lighter and faster than her right now.

I rolled the selector over to sidewinders and waited for the range to close. Even this far out the seekers were detecting the afterburners ahead of me, but I had to wait, had to be sure. I had my finger hovering over the switch--

The radar screen flashed, I was picking the PAK up on Radar in a big way. Her weapons bays were open. I was out of time. I could start to make out the shape of the re-entry craft, the plasma envelope was dissipating, it was in range.

"Cylon one-three, Fox Two"

I slapped my finger down on the firing stud and let the sidewinder on my left wingtip fly. An instant later the PAK cut afterburners and rolled into a dive while spitting out flares. "What the hell--"

I caught sight of a missile plume headed for the space plane. She'd fired, I was too late.

My remaining sidewinder squealed out a lock tone and I snapped my finger down on the firing stud. It had acquired the missile's engine. I felt as if time had slowed to a crawl as my missile rocketed past my nose on a pillar of fire. It flew towards the missile ahead of us, a much larger, much slower device.

An eternity later; an instant later. The sidewinder impacted the engine of the missile and blew it in half, it immediately went into a tumble and started to break up from the aerodynamic stresses.

I had a minute and a half of fuel left. I pulled out of afterburner and rolled over to try to get a visual on the PAK FA. So fixated I was on the missile it had fired I hadn't thought to look where it had gone.

"You shouldn't have done that, Ikari."

I grit my teeth and rolled my transmit over to guard. "Rose, you fucked with the wrong person today," I spat into the radio.

I caught sight of her jet looping around for another try. Not a chance, not today. I rolled the fire selector to my canon and pulled the stick to the lock, dragging the Viper through a max performance turn to line up for a head on. I didn't even wait for the reticle to settle before I started firing.

She fired a burst of return fire and broke away from her attack run. I just had to keep her busy, just for a few more minutes. I could do that, I had enough fuel if I stayed out of the afterburner. "You're not getting away from me that easy!" I screamed into my radio.

"You stupid girl, you've killed the world!" She screamed back at me. Her voice struck a chord with me, something deep in my memory, who the hell was she?

I stomped hard into the rudder and rolled in, slid myself in behind her while she tried to get herself lined up again. She might have had the better jet, but she wasn't the better pilot, not right now. I was one with my Viper. She was a tourist in that PAK FA.

I slapped my thumb back down on the firing stud and peppered her right wing and vertical stabalizer with cannon rounds. "No, but I'll kill you!" I yelled.

There was a loud bang from behind me and the cannon stopped firing. It had jammed? Not now, not when I was that close to ending this. No.

"Cylon one-one to one-three, bug out. We'll take care of this."

The radio crackled for a second, and I heard Becket's voice on guard instead.

"Pilot of PAK FA, you are ordered to lower your landing gear immediately and comply with all directions. Failure to obey will result in your destruction."

I looked over my shoulder as two Raptors came alongside me. They would have been able to sneak up on me, wouldn't they?

Rose's PAK FA was trailing smoke now, and leaking fuel. They had her over a barrel. And they were going to take her alive. I had as many questions as they did no doubt, so maybe I'd finally get some answer--

"Negative, Becket. I'm afraid that I am unable to comply. My flight controls are too damaged, hydraulics are gone. That girl is as good a pilot as I am. I'm gonna have to ride this one in. It was nice to be up here with you again, even if it wasn't on the same side. Gypsy Rose, out."

Who? Why was that so familiar to me, and how did she know Becket?

I didn't have too much time to think about it, as the PAK's engines chose that moment to fail, and the crippled jet dropped away from us. Something about what she had said must have meant something to him, because he made no attempt to follow her through the dive.

I rolled my transmitter back over to flight frequency and turned to look over at Becket's jet. "Who is Gypsy Rose?"

"A memory. Stay on my wing. There's a tanker inbound. After we land there is a long overdue conversation that we all need to have. Bring Misato."

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 22 Part 1:
Gypsy Rose​

I hadn't had the chance to take my flight suit off, nor to shower. But I was in the briefing room with a bunch of people who I didn't know, and a few that I did. Becket, Misato, Ayanami, Asuka, even the IPEA pilot Mari.

And my father. Gendo Ikari, who stood at the front of the room and kept looking at me with what looked like... pride? I couldn't manage to keep a smile off my face, despite what had happened that day. But we'd won, twice even.

Captain Clark stepped into the room and nodded at me. All we needed now was Denisovich and it would be a full party, but then he was probably busy doing damage control after all those Russian fighters got stolen.

After Rose, or was it Gypsy Rose? After all the fighters were stolen, I'm sure they would have a review of their security at least.

"So you're all here for an important reason, the attack on Tokyo-3, and the attack on Travis, which are related," Becket explained from the front of the room. All attention shifted to him.

"The woman who we suspect to have been the leader of these attacks is known as 'Rose'. A few hours ago, I was able to determine her identity with a reasonable amount of certainty. This is important because she is, most likely, still alive."

There was murmuring around me, but nothing I could really make out. I had a feeling in my gut that something about this meeting was going to ruin my day.

"Still, we do have Rei Ikari to thank for intercepting Rose's attack on Commander Ikari, and preventing his assassination. If she hadn't been there it is unlikely that this is the meeting we would be having today. Can I get someone to turn out the lights?"

A person by the door flipped the light switch off and the projector in the ceiling powered on. Becket was holding the remote. He pressed a button and a page from a service record was displayed. "She called herself 'Gypsy Rose' and she knew who I was. Based on these facts, her voice, and the descriptions that I have been given, it is my belief that the person we are dealing with is Lieutenant Victoria Eleanor Becket. She went missing in June. And I will answer the unasked question preemptively; she is my sister."

The murmuring was louder this time. People were turning to talk with each other. If he wasn't arrested at this point, it would be pure luck, probably.

He pressed a button to move to the next slide and I felt my stomach drop out. My pupils dilated, I broke out in a cold sweat, could hear my heart pounding in my ears. Her face, that face. I knew that face. I had forgotten for so long, but those memories were in my head, waiting for the right trigger, this trigger.

All of this time I had spent wondering, searching through the memories that weren't my own. But once I saw it I knew who it was, could remember finally. Brown eyes, brown hair, a darker skin tone, darker than her 'brother', definitely South East Asian. I could have pointed out the city she was born in on map, but not because of what she looked like.

But because the other girl, the one who gave me the memories of that other life, the skill to fly a plane, and the courage to fight… That girl saw the face in front of me in the mirror every day.

Somehow, knowing who I was facing didn't make it any better. I felt the tears falling from my eyes. I had to leave, had to get out. I stood up from my chair and pushed my way to the door. Nobody would understand, nobody would get it. But I'd done my duty, I'd done what had to be done.

And I knew that Gypsy Rose would never stop, not if she was still alive. She'd gone missing in June. June, when I'd come here, when I'd had these memories shoved into my head. If she knew what I knew… If she knew about that life she never lived, the love she never had, with the woman she never married…

No, I knew what she was doing, and I knew that nothing short of getting what she wanted would ever stop her. She would tear Nerv apart, she'd kill my father, for revenge?

I could still remember what it felt like when that other girl met her wife, when they'd shared their first kiss. I remembered what their love felt like. To know that you were denied that? I could understand her hate.

But I couldn't let her get what she wanted, not for any reason. I wouldn't let her take my family from me!

"Rei, what's wrong?"

I felt the hand on my shoulder, I'd made it half way down the hall in my distress. I turned to see the speaker. Misato. I felt the heat rising in my face, the emotional overload of the revelation I'd had, remembering everything that Rose, that Victoria had lost.

"Misato, I--"

No, fuck it. No more waiting, no more wondering what if. I wasn't going to live my life with regret, not from here, not after what I'd done, or who I'd done it for. I put my arms around her and pressed myself up to her, and put my lips to hers.

I would take whatever would come, whatever consequences there should be for this… but for the moment, I would just let the warmth spread from that contact, from that affection I'd wanted to share for weeks.

Through the tears and the pain, the fear and the uncertainty, I felt her lips move against mine, felt her arms around me.

God's in his heaven. All's right with the world.
​

 

[macdjord]

Wooooo! The further adventures of Awesome!FighterJock!Rei is back!

"Cylon one-one. It was a fake out. Tokyo-3 was not the target. Repeat, Tokyo-3 was not the target. Flankers are bugging out."

Click to shrink...

I'm slightly confuse here. That flash was a nuke going off, right? And it was in the vicinity of T-3 and/or the Evas. So... how did they know it wasn't the main attack?

 

[theBSDude]

I'm slightly confuse here. That flash was a nuke going off, right? And it was in the vicinity of T-3 and/or the Evas. So... how did they know it wasn't the main attack?

Click to shrink...

No, the flash was the Angel. Ikari didn't know when she saw it where it was the Angel's detonation or the bomb when it happened. But then the jamming stopped and the report came.

 

[macdjord]

Jackie: When are you going to update the FF.net version? I'd like to reread this off my Kindle.

 

[Jackie]

Wooooo! The further adventures of Awesome!FighterJock!Rei is back!



I'm slightly confuse here. That flash was a nuke going off, right? And it was in the vicinity of T-3 and/or the Evas. So... how did they know it wasn't the main attack?

Click to shrink...

Rei fired her last sidewinder into the nuke. Gypsy Rose launched the nuke at gendo's shuttle.

Jackie: When are you going to update the FF.net version? I'd like to reread this off my Kindle.

Click to shrink...

When I remember to.

 

[nobodez]

Excellent chapters. I love how you burst update, though it is … annoying isn't the word but it's what I'm using, that you update so infrequently.

 

[macdjord]

though it is … annoying isn't the word but it's what I'm using, that you update so infrequently.

Click to shrink...

'Regrettable'?

 

[nobodez]

'Regrettable'?

Click to shrink...

Yes, that's a much better word. Thank you, I wasn't in reach of any of my paper dictionaries or thesauruses, so I couldn't find the right word. Sometimes it sucks having such a large vocabulary, because you know there's a correct word but you sometimes lose it among the morass of vocabulary and grammar.

 

[Jackie]

 

[Jackie]

Chapter 22 Part 2:
Make Pretend​

"You know, when she told us we had to watch out for you, I thought we were going to actually have the chance to, ya know, do that."

"And for that matter, your studies have definitely suffered. We're going to have to put you through the ringer to get you back up to speed!"

I looked up from my desk. Touji and Hikari, ever the dutiful pair. "Fine, fine, I get it. Just for the love of god don't hit me with the lunch box again. I bled all over my vest last time."

"You know I apologized for that. Besides, without you around we only have Ayanami to keep us company." Hikari complained with a mock hurt look on her face.

"You say that as though I have not been the best companion you could hope for."

I looked past Hikari to see Ayanami standing over her shoulder, her face conspicuously blank of expression, but there was a something in her eyes.

"You know, one Rei is as good as another, or so I've been told. You still got to look after Rei, just, you know, not me." I joked.

"You are in a good mood today, Ikari. Have you spoken to Katsuragi?" Ayanami asked me. I could see the flicker of a smirk. She knew? Of course she knew. Why wouldn't she? She knew Akagi, closer than I thought was probably healthy. So of course she knew.

"Well, I had a good day yesterday. My friends saved the world, I stopped the bad guy, my dad thinks I'm cool. It's not bad." I answered nonchalantly.

"Why do you wanna know if she spoke to Misato?" Touji asked in that blunt clueless way that only he could.

"Absolutely no reason whatsoever, and you should forget that it was ever mentioned." Ayanami deadpanned.

"Exactly. Anyway, I saved the world like, at least four times. I should get a free pass on school forever."

"And then what would you do after Nerv and Angels, what would you do with the rest of your life without schooling, Rei?" Hikari asked with that expression she usually reserved for Touji when he was up to shenanigans.

"Fly fighter jets and blow shit up. Obviously."

Hikari shook her head at me and returned to her desk. She definitely didn't agree that my chosen profession was worthwhile.

Ayanami took her seat behind me and I heard that faint snicker, the one that let me know that whatever Ayanami really was, and wherever my left arm actually came from, the girl behind me was definitely more human than not.

"So… you like fighter jets?"

I turned my head and saw a boy, my own age, but scrawny. Not like Touji. He seemed familiar to me. Oh. "Aida, right?" I asked. "You might say that. Did you see the big air battle the other day, during the Angel attack?"

"See it? I've got high definition video from eight different angles! I've got radar records saved on flash drive!" The boy was ecstatic. Of course he would be, right? I remembered what Ayanami had told me weeks ago, about the boy asking her out. To him this must have been like winning the lottery, a military geek girl.

I smiled and nodded, "Did you happen to catch the Mitsubishi F-2?"

He frowned at me, "Yeah… I wasn't really impressed with the JSSDF showing in that fight, one jet? And it looked like there was only one person in it even though it was a two seater. Still, it did take out a Super Flanker and a PAK FA by itself."

I nodded my understanding, "Yeah, there was only one Japanese fighter in that whole showdown. It was unfortunate that I couldn't get my usual back-seater in that fight with me but she was busy with other things."

He nodded back and then stopped, "Wait, what?"

I shrugged, "Well, you don't think it's a little strange that same F-2 keeps showing up around Nerv employees?"

"Pilot Ikari likes to show off, Aida," Ayanami interjected in an almost not deadpan voice.

"I can't deny that," I admitted to both Ayanami and Aida. "I did shoot down a nuclear missile with a sidewinder and killed a PAK FA in a gun duel. I'm pretty awesome you know. I am adorable and talented, I have a cuteness that transcends, everyone should be throwing themselves at me."

"You've said that before, Ikari. The factuality of that statement remains unchanged."

"Well, from where I'm standing, that's awesome," Aida gushed. I could almost see the stars in his eyes at the thought of being this close to someone who got to touch all the neat military gadgets that he could only dream of touching.

"Well, I mean, yeah," I said with mock humility, "I can kinda see where you might think that."

"So, there's an air show later this week, do you wanna go with me?"

The snort from behind me drew the attention of the entire class.

XXX​

"Ikari, you should not be surprised at that turn of events. You did tell him that everyone should throw themselves at you." Ayanami said flatly. Her tone of voice did not match the smirk on her face.

I pressed my fingers against my temples as the escalator descended deeper into the geofront headquarters. Sure, I should have seen that coming, but I hadn't really talked to him before. How was I to know he was that bold?

"Yeah I mean, you really shorted out his brain there Rei, you shouldn't be that surprised," Touji added with a shrug.

Hikari just snickered silently from behind him. At least she had the good graces not to make it worse.

"Well, he should have known better! I mean, uh..." I trailed off.

"He couldn't have known your heart lie with another, Ikari." Ayanami offered with a hand on my shoulder.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hikari asked suddenly. Of course she'd latch onto that bit of drama.

"Absolutely nothing," Ayanami said simply.

"He probably thought the direct approach would work," Touji said with another of his trademark shrugs.

I sighed and turned towards the three people behind me. Of course, they could gossip about me all they wanted, that was normal for people our age right? I couldn't say I didn't like that there was some semblance of that returning to my life. If I was lucky the worst of it was behind me, no more Gypsy Rose, at least not for a while.

And the other night. Misato. Maybe things were finally looking up. Maybe we did have the chance to come out of the other end of this, win the war, save the world. Have our happy ending.

"You all seem to be enjoying my distress quite a bit. We should instead be focusing on that noise that Ayanami made." I smirked, if I could shift the attention over to Ayanami, well…

"I didn't know she could laugh," Hikari admitted with a thoughtful look on her face. A surprisingly blunt comment from her, but the situation warranted it, I figured.

"That wasn't exactly a laugh." Touji shrugged, "I mean, it was kinda more like she was chokin on somethin."

"This is why I do not socialize often." Ayanami said quietly. I could see a twitch on her face, her eyes looked sad.

Damnit. So she really didn't know what she was doing, not really, and I'd gone and made her feel bad.

"Well I guess it was funny enough to laugh at. Aida asked me out right? He did that to Ayanami too. At least we know he's got a type, right?" I asked the two behind us with a grin.

"Reis?"

Hikari's hand struck the back of Touji's head almost before he was able to finish the word and she shook her head in disappointment.

"Well, I was going to say cute girls with blue hair, but that could work too," I mused. "Anyway we should--"

"Rei." I froze, then turned towards the voice. I recognized it, something in it made me react instantly, but then, it would have. At the bottom of the escalator, a few feet away, was my father.

Ayanami was looking at him too, her lips were pulled into a slight smile. But then, they would be.

"Which Rei?" I asked finally, trying to keep any shakiness out of my voice.

He looked between both of us and then I saw his mouth curl up slightly, "Yes. Both of you. Come with me."

XXX​

It wasn't exactly a feast, nothing quite so over the top. It was simple, intimate, and somehow, some part of me remembered this, or wanted to. I could smell the steam coming off the rice, the vegetables. I could taste the subtle flavor of the seasonings on the air.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face, and I didn't want to. I'd been hoping for this for years. It might not have been exactly as I'd imagined, but that didn't make it bad. I was having dinner with my father… and sister?

I glanced at Ayanami, she was smiling. Not the subtle hard to detect smile, but a genuine one, like this was a place she could show her true feelings. A sister. I couldn't think of a more apt word, really. This was what family was right? The memories from that other life I never lived didn't really compare to this.

"It would seem that there are a great many things that I never knew about you, Rei. I have been meaning to sit down with you like this for a while now, after the events of the other day I felt that we should do this sooner than later," my father explained to me. Where those same words, weeks ago, might have struck terror into me, he seemed… almost warm.

"I don't really know where to start--" I tried to explain when he cut me off.

He shook his head, "You misunderstand. I don't need an explanation. At one point I may have but what you did tells me everything that I need to know. You don't owe me any more explanation than that. I just wanted to take this time to see both of you, and hope that maybe we could do this more often."

"I would like that," Ayanami answered. I could detect almost a blush on her face. Maybe she was just like anyone else, just… a little more reserved, shy. But she loved him, I could see that.

And I could tell that my father was like her, not necessarily adept at people. Not emotionally adept, not open, but that didn't mean he didn't want to. Somehow, at some point, he'd found my mother though, right? He'd found something in her, and she'd found something in him. Maybe this was that.

"So, this might not be the right time," I started and suddenly felt nervous. My scalp felt sweaty, throat dry. "Does this mean that I'm back on the active duty roster?"

He considered me for a moment, and smiled, "Perhaps not just yet. But that having been said, if you were still on the active roster, I might not be sitting here right now. It all worked out in the end."

I nodded, "You're right. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been able to stop that."

His grin was wider, "You're an Ikari, now more than ever. You would have kept fighting, until it was done."

I looked down to my left arm and held it up so that he and I could both see it. "Well… Mostly Ikari."

He nodded, then tapped his hand to his chest. "Where it matters."

There would have been a time in my life that I would have hated that comparison, was so hurt, and felt so unwanted that to be anything like my father at all would have been rejected outright. Maybe we would never have the relationship we should have had, or even the one I wanted to have. Maybe we weren't going to be father and daughter, and it wasn't going to make up for those lost years.

I caught myself flexing my new hand down by my side. It felt so smooth, even compared to my uninjured arm. I looked over at Ayanami, and she looked happy. Maybe that was enough. Life was too short to spend all your energy holding grudges, clinging to the pain of the past and letting it poison your future.

Ayanami liked this, it was good enough for me.

I put my hand over my heart and nodded, "Where it matters. Right."

Yeah, it would be good enough, even if it just stayed like this forever.

 

[UrsaTempest]

Tumbling down next chapter?