With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

[Duke Long]

A bunch of corrections and some commentary, decided to spoiler since it's somewhat long.

Spoiler

"I suppose that they are better civilised that the people of Albion-."

"Look. You know the standing stone network that I'm incorporating into the road network?" She nods. "The people of Albion have a similar system in the Ogham Stones. It drains Dhar from the world while wrecking their own island. They literally can't build a better civilisation than they have now, and they did that to themselves for the benefit of the rest of the world. I realise that their society isn't very sophisticated, but they limited themselves for altruistic reasons and every generation born there has chosen to leave the Stones in place rather than tear them up to get some decent weather."

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'than'
I said it when this chapter came out, but I really liked this bit.

There's a.. decidedly unpleasant screeching-clanking sound as he picks the shipping containers up, and then I breath a little easier as he flies through the portal. I generate a giant sack barrow construct and start conveying the rest of his order through.

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'breathe'

The winged fishman flies through his cover's body, slashing at me with his-

Dodge.

-wings as the laser creatures takes another shot with the electrolaser. Rocket-boarder shoots past me, while Wings actually needs to slow to turn.

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'creature'?
What does it mean that he flies through him? Through the hole in his body made by Oh El? Pretty big hole if so.

Apokolips picked up the… Ah, ripple, in the presence -hah- of the Source… Which of course they did, Apokolips is Anti-Life central. The… Prison? Of the Old God S'ivaa was disrupted a bit, allowing them to access with via boom tube and take samples of his skin. And if S'ivaa breaks out?

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'it'?

"By Darkseid's taint!" Pyron loops around and speeds towards me. "What did you do to-?"

Railgun, x-ionised sabot around, fire. His looping evasive pattern andhigh speed make hitting him precisely impossible, but one glancing hit to his chest is enough to make his eyes widen in shock. I fire again and again, striking arm and face-. Good enough. He's discomported and distracted as he flies past me, his spear half swinging and half held back to defend. But since I'm a flying octopus it's easy for me to duck around it and latch onto his arm next to the cut my railgun round made.

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'and high'
I like how he starts using their names immediately after assimilating that guy. Not sure why it tickles me so.

I look around the clearing, noting a dead… Beatle-worm thing partly sticking out of ground, and two smaller ground creatures which look like a cross between wolves and flying foxes.

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'Beetle' Or was it a musician?

"I always have those on. Sometimes when I'm on a mission I pretend I'm the predator."

Yautja.

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Should this be a proper noun? Not sure.

When there's a chance that something that big getting out, I don't want to spend the hours carefully filtering my own blood that I'd need to in order to get my body back when I can fight well enough like this.

He nods. "Approach vector?"

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'of'

I try to sigh, but it turns out that octopuses can't do that.

Arsenal, Jafar is trying to release-.

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'Jaffar'

Take two pictures drawn in different art styles. Tear a strip out of one and stick in over the front of the second. Except the one at the back is in three dimensions and has a finger sticking out. A big finger. Or-. No, it's more like many translucent images draw in different styles are stuck one on top of the other, and the finger reaches through all of them. The tip is about four feet fall and the finger nail is disconcertingly sharp, but worse, behind and above it I can just about make out the glowing, glowering yellow eyes of S'ivaa himself. The eyes are only open a crack, but…

He can see me.

He can see everything.

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Very cool.

Roy fires again reflexively before letting go of the gun like it burned his hands, and I order my construct lanterns to stop mid-lunge.

I forgot I had that many.

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Ha! Maybe his perfect memory is affected by being an octopus. But of course this is primarily a meta joke.

Who else..? Demon Nabu. It's degraded, but there's just a little of his old desire to keep the universe orderly in there. Reinforce it and shove him into the machine.

The finger begins receeding a little faster but I don't think it's going to be enough. My other construct lanterns couldn't conceive of something like this.

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'receding'
A problem that could've been solved by assimilating more people in the past. Oh, if only he had fewer scruples…

Could I duplicate it with constructs? Not worth a damn. Alright, if he's getting out then I need to notify Hinon-.

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I think you should've done that a minute ago. She can probably make boom tubes with orange light so she could've been here in seconds. For something that apparently threatens the entire universe I think she would be quite happy to be called away from whatever she was doing.

But… The fridge… Ah, good. None of the Americans have been brave enough to steal my unpasteurised milk. I talk the bottle out and head towards the glasses cupboard.

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'take'

I give her a mild frown. "Isn't vampire venom addictive?"

"Not chemically. A small dose isn't any more mild-altering than-" She lifts her mug slightly. "-coffee."

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'mind'

"But is it really fair for you to pass judgement without…" Her tongue flicks out. "Investigating it yourself?"

"No, that's something that the people actually passing the legislation would have to do." I glance at the clock on the wall. "I wonder how long the meeting's going to take."

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I knew it was gonna go in that direction as soon as the conversation started. But I didn't expect him to refuse point blank.

I assimilated these two in combat. I-.

He raises his staff. "I grant you clemency."

And-. It glows for a moment, then the aura touches them… And I'm down two Construct Lanterns as they return to flesh.

I suppose that if Finality Man could do that, it only makes sense than he can. Shaligo flares his wings for a moment, then realises who it is pointing the crook at him and furls them again.

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Nooooo! Don't take the construct lanterns away, anything but that, please!

But seriously, it is pretty convenient. Funny to think the Guardian's and I think the Controllers have been researching this, and Highfather could do it trivially the entire time.

"I hadn't completed my studies of S'ivaa's body tissues… But I didn't need to for our mission to be a success. I just had to return a sample to Darkseid. He was impressed by our work. He volunteered to be our vessel! To convey our discovery to Darkseid! Keep us in prison forever and it will not matter! HAHAHA!"

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I didn't expect them to do something so sensible. Also, poor Mantis, it doesn't get much worse than being sent to Apokolips. But why did he go willingly? Did they trick him? Is he actually going to do some guerilla warfare shit?

She looks around, taking in the sea, the wooden bench we're sitting at, the wood and wrought iron pier the fish and chip shop we order from is build into and, past it, the rest of the seafront.

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'ordered'
'built'
Doesn't get much better than a nice chippy.

"Just about everything we've tried. But we haven't had much variety recently." She spears and lump of fish and batter and brings it into her mouth. Then her eyes widen.

"Good? Ver g-?"

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'a'
'Very'?

"I think one of the vampire agents was hitting on me." Her eyes widen. "Either that, or she was just hungry." Her face hardens. "I think she wants to increase her status by using me as a threat in being to other vampires."

"Don't you be spendin' time with the loiks a' her."

"I said 'no' to being fed on, thank you for your concern."

"Roit. I'm keepin' y', then."

I blink. "Um."

"Oi'm not lettin' m'-. You outta moi soit if'n some poisonous snake it jus' going t' snatch y' oop."

"I appreciate the thought, but she and I both work for the Alliance-."

"Foin!"

15th August 2000
14:06 GMT -7

"Here!"

Senior Agent Blaze looks up from her desk, frowning, as Bláthnaid slams her application paperwork down in front of her. She takes it from her, realises what it is and then turns to stare incredulously at me.

I smile politely. "Date went well, sir."

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Phenomenal ending to the chapter hahahaha.

"Okay. So… Is that the issue? Because it's not like I knew what the machine did."

"It-. I guess-. They're both this issue."

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'the'?

"I-." Something occurs to him. "Hey, have you done Mister Atom yet?"

"I.. tried, but it turns out that he's being maximally effective. And aside from one or two things which he struggles to understand due to being an A.I., there isn't much I can help him with because he's a lot more intelligent than me."

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As expected of our Lord and saviour. He is truly perfect.

"But I don't think I could stand spending all my spare time chasing more power, and then… Dealing with the consequences, and then going from place to place without… Settling down or seeing a familiar face. I don't think I wanna do the things I'd have to do to become you. Or even Hal."

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Cool conversation.

 

[Mr Zoat]

'than'
'breathe'
'creature'?
'it'?
'and high'
'Beetle'
'of'
'Jaffar'
'receding'
'take'
'mind'
'ordered'
'built'
'a'
'Very'?
'the'?

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Thank you, corrected.

What does it mean that he flies through him? Through the hole in his body made by Oh El? Pretty big hole if so.

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Yes.

 

[Duke Long]

Some more corrections.

Spoiler

And it's a good place to put Lanterns who are either verging on becoming stress casualties or are otherwise not good people to put in a combat zone. In theory, Lantern Coutara could take her place in the war zone. She's certainly demonstrated that she can kill when motivated. But when we tried having her spar with other Lanterns, she just… She can't muster the drive when there isn't an immediate and personal offence. But, she liked working to rebuild her home county after the purge, and when I made it clear that we had plenty of room for someone with desires like that, she was happy to join up.

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'country'?

"Even McCulloch? That sounds unprofessional."

"Oh, he'd keep it together in the middle of a fight, but the moment it was over… And his name's 'Evan'."

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Good one.

"She will not be working on infrastructure?"

"No."

"Then I welcome her involvement. Now, I will return to work. I have many utility ducts to lay."

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I love this little guy. He also reminds me of those dominators that were studying his mother, they were great fun too.

"Um, I didn't know that you knew any other draconequi." Fluttershy watches as Henry as he tries turning the settee over, only for it to rotate the entire floor panel and start spinning with him trapped in place. "I didn't even know there were any other draconequi."

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Extraneous 'as'

"Alright, you heard the lady!" Hawk Horse-Face sort of swims through space with an unsettling degree of ease. I'm impressed with how quickly he picked that up. Or perhaps its natural for his new shape? "Let's go!"

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'it's'

Donald give the book a quick smile- "Thank you." -and then briefly appears to consider giving his wings a flap before deciding that relying on his cloven hooves to convey him instead.

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'instead is more sensible.'?
Or something like that. You could change the structure of the whole sentence a little.

Sodam narrows his eyes towards his target for a moment before reassuring himself that it's inert. Then he turns to Kara with a broad smile on his face. "I'm krypon-ite!"

Kara blinks, checking to make sure that he's not a radioactive crystal. "You… Are..?"

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'krypton'?

"You could always throw yourself on a grenade and marry Other Kara."

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Calling her a grenade is going a bit far. Unless she is secretly evil.

Is that a caveman? Oh yeah, that was that thing… They managed to resurrect a frozen Neanderthal a few years ago. Didn't realise they gave him a job. He stares at me, and at the Cosmic Staff resting on the table. Then he sort of grunts at steps aside and-

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'and'?

"Look, Stagg Enterprises is a big company. We do acquisitions and mergers all the time. I have to sign off on the all as C.E.O. but mostly I'm just reading a report summary and trusting that my people have done due diligence. And the report didn't say 'super advance technology developed by Doctor Theodore Knight', it was more…" He shakes his head. "I'm wracking my brain here, but it was years ago and I don't remember it all that clearly. Something like 'exotic energy research and prototype designs'… As far as I remember we bought the holding company because it was cheap and some of their stuff might go somewhere. I only bothered reading up on the details when we were ready to go to market. I've got people looking though our records to find the original report, but between the Anti-Life, normal staff turnover and a system upgrade we did six years ago it might just have gotten completely lost."

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'them'

I smile as Roy's spaceship pulls up alongside Lantern Taranna and I. Apparently we haven't interdicted whatever it uses for its non-boom tube FTL. Which is something that we're going to need to fix, but if it's a system that no one else uses that could have definite advantages. We could build an actual fleet while Earth was still protected.

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He learned to fly it quickly. Or does it fly itself with the AI?

"I was of two minds… Literally." I raise my left eyebrow. "Alright, more than two. I'm not used to being uncertain about things. So I made each viewpoint it's own thing and decided to fight it out."

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'its'

"It gave up the Elements of Harmony. That's what made it weak enough for the Pundervines to work. I thought it might have some perspective on the whole thing. But-" He sticks his right foot into the cavern proper, and immediately a beam of rainbow light blasts towards it. He jumps up, letting the blast hit the ground beneath him. "-it doesn't feel like talking."

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'Plundervines'

Fluttershy visible girds her loins and flies closer to the Tree. "Hello Mister Tree. I know we haven't spoken much, but Discord's having a really hard time deciding and he's made put a lot of effort into becoming a better person. It would really help him if you shared your opinion."

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'visibly'

"Okay, but-. Um." She glances at Discord and then tried to work out how to phrase his question. Or perhaps, how to get a helpful answer regardless of his ill-considered question. "Would you prefer to be the one making that decision?"

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'tries'

"Paul…" Superman looks decidedly disappointed. "Child kidnapping?"

I nod. "Effectively, yes."

He dips his head, sighs, then looks down the Watchtower table to Diana.

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"Where did we go wrong with you?"

"To travel into space, meet new people and civilisations. To boldly go-"

Superman winces very slightly.

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Is he wincing because he thinks it's inappropriate to crack a joke in this situation?

Henry leans closer, ommatophores flexing as uses them to… 'Examine' her body. "Y'know, you're pretty cute for a pony."

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'as he'
Never thought about what the scientific name would be for those.

"Um." Discord looks a little awkward. "There was one, but he started digging towards the centre of the planet right away, and… His tail was just sort of hanging out there…"

I wrinkle my snout. "Philosophical Discord?"

"He didn't think for a moment and stopped existing."

"Thaumaturgical chaos scientist Discord?"

"Pulled off his own tail to see what would happen."

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Tiny Discord perks up. "You really mean it? I just thought you were being polite because you didn't want to hurt Fluttershy's feelings."

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I think all of these Discord lines should be small.

"Then you shouldn't have done. This wasn't a momentary impulse on your part; if it was then I'd have counselled you to think about it for a bit. This is clearly something you were set on." He nods awkwardly. "Then there's nothing else to say, really. You weren't wrong to pursue your own goals, but that doesn't mean that there aren't negative consequences to doing so. You just have to deal with those as well So: I'll speak with your natural mother, let her vent her spleen at me, and you can see her tomorrow. Alright?"

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Missing full stop.

I try not to let it show on my face as my ring reports that Cara Yat is indeed experiencing full kryptonian power, despite her ship only just passing through the Oort Cloud. She's frowning like she's trying to work out why I'm here. Her ship's meeting room looks… Old? Faded? I can see dust in a few places, but in a sealed environment like a starship there's only so much dust too pile up. They might not have even thrown dust sheets on things before mothballing it as 'forbidden technology'.

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'to'

I smile faintly. I'm going to try and avoid openly provoking her, because I know that Diana's either going to watch this later or is watching it right now, but keeping my face completely blank would probably be worse. Likewise, even though I could cause her significant discomfort by generating ultra high or ultra low frequency sound because she can hear that and doesn't know how to ignore it yet, I don't.

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Yeah, that would be a real dick move. I'm a bit surprised he even thinks about it.

"No, that wasn't what I meant. Afraid of being taken away from the life he's made which he really likes. You being here in particular didn't appear to be a factor. Did you husband relay to you how our encounter went?"

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'your'

"She wasn't prepared to make any concessions, so she got nothing. Any idea how they got here, or how they knew how 'here' is?"

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'where'?

"North east Africa. Just south of Greater Kahndaq. I'm told that the value of the real estate actually gone up since Isis replanted the region."

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'has actually'?

She nods. "I looked up the adaptations your people make and I was amazed. And then I looked at my own world and found out that every other country's does at least some of them. I didn't know."

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'country'

"There's no such things as complete safety, but he should be. Lan-."

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'thing'