With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

[Stsword]

Say what now?

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In the bad future, humanity and the Sentinels teamed up to fight the mutants.

The humans let the Sentinels use genetic engineering to win the biological arms race.

The result was not humans but with superpowers. It wasn't transhumanism.

The result was homo sapiens sapiens going extinct as the Sentinel made Homo Novissima took over the Earth.

"Wise Man" was replaced with the "Last Man." And in thise case, it's apparently quite literal. They are a different species, not like the hyperbole of mutants being "Homo Superior" which is just garbage.

Humanity won the war against mutants but still went the way of the Neanderthal.

So it's not such a bad future for Homo Novissima, I suppose, but for humanity? They're dead, Jim.

 

[Mr Zoat]

Humanity won the war against mutants but still went the way of the Neanderthal.

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You are aware that European and Asian humans all have Neanderthal DNA, right?

 

[Stsword]

You are aware that European and Asian humans all have Neanderthal DNA, right?

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Yes. 1 to 4%.

But the Neanderthals have still been extinct for at least 40,000 years.

 

[ForeverShogo]

I don't think you know what post-human even means. It's just a form of transhumanism. Some might even consider it the end state of transhumanism.

Humans turned themselves into these post-humans through widespread genetic engineering and cybernetic enhancement, but they're as much a separate species from humanity as mutants are. Which is to say they're not a separate species at all. Ultimately they're just humans that can control their development instead of relying on random mutation.

Calling them Homo novissima is just as ridiculous as calling mutants Homo superior.

 

[Mr Zoat]

1st September 2013
08:31 GMT

We're not technically in competition with McDonalds. In fact, there have been several Cadbury-themed McFlurries over the years. But I'm sure that their CEO has a sense of humour, and Mr. Queen looks suitably braced.

First, the evidence plays on the screen. It's basically free advertising.

"Lettuce, and cheese." The middle aged man who really wants us to know that he uses an expensive dentist gestures with his right hand at the chicken burger in his left. "And of course the McDonalds Big Mac sauce. But we now have two chicken patties. So… Let's give this a try."

He takes a bite, chews very briefly, and then-.

I'm on screen, 'shoving' the video window out of the way. "He spat it out! He just spat it out!" I brandish a Cadbury Dairy Milk with Biscuit in anger. "I don't know how they do things at McDonalds-" I chomp, swallow, and then thrust the remains of the bar at an extra. "-but here at Cadbury, we stand by our products!"

The camera follows me as I march right through a field of ankle-length grass.

"The finest organic cocoa!"

I tear off my jacket, pulling it to pieces and tossing it to the ground.

"The finest organic sugar!"

My shirt is next, revealing the upper part of an full-body bathing costume.

"Milk from grass-fed cows!"

I rip off my trousers, revealing the lower part of the swimming costume.

"And how much do I like it!?"

I stop marching, stare at the camera and point right at the lens with my right forefinger.

"I will show you! Right here! Right now!"

Across the boardroom table, Mr. Queen slides down slightly in his seat.

The camera pulls out slightly, revealing a Cadbury-branded vat with a diving board mounted onto the side. I kick off my shoes and begin climbing, clearly putting effort into it in my eagerness to get to the top as the camera pulls out further to show the gathering crowd of extras. Reaching the top, I pull my rings off and hand them to the duty Cadbury-branded lifeguard.

"How much to I like it!?"

I rip off my swimming costume and toss it aside revealing my trunks underneath. Then I run along the diving board, twisting as I come off the end. The view switches to the overhead camera as I fall back-first into the vat of molten chocolate, arms and legs spread wide.

"THIS MUUUUUUUCH!"

Across from me, Mr. Queen snerks quietly into his clenched right fist as screen me lands and is enveloped by the brown liquid. The camera stays on me for several seconds.

"Cadbury chocolate."

The camera switches back to a side view of me surfacing and trying to swim to the side of the vat, the voiceover extremely flat and unexcited.

"The boss is rather fond of it."

And then it's the end card, and I turn fully to Mr. Queen.

"Well?"

He… Takes a moment.

"Does the McDonalds guy really look like that?"

"We did not alter that image at all."

He takes another moment, then shakes his head. "How do you get the idea for this?"

"Well, that was inspired by an advert for blackcurrant Tango that played on British television when I was a boy."

"How..? Closely inspired?"

"Ah… In their version, a spokesman for blackcurrant Tango takes exception to a mildly-worded complaint, rants defiantly at the camera while stripping down to his boxer shorts, gets into a boxing ring and challenges anyone who doesn't like blackcurrant Tango to fight him. It shouldn't be a… Copyright problem, if that's what you're worried about."

"Okay. Ah. Was that real chocolate?"

I frown faintly. "It would rather undermine the advert if it wasn't."

"Yeah, that's… That's true. Okay, I can't argue that your original series actually… Played pretty well in the U.S.. Though that might have just been because there's nothing else on."

"I'm not getting into television. I barely touch bases with the companies I own-"

"I know."

"-as it is. And I don't think that importing alien television-." Hm. "Can you think of anyone who might be interested in Thanagarian television?"

"I don't have those kind of connections, but, probably? There's a big market for cheap content right now, because no one's got the money for anything else."

"I'll talk to Bleez about setting something up."

"Is she still here?" He sounds surprised. "I thought she was just here for a visit."

"She's rented a studio. I think she's been inspired. And that near-miss with the Yellow Lantern recruit shook her up more than I thought."

Particularly after I warned her about it.

He smiles. "Good. For a minute there I was kinda worried you'd learned the wrong lessons from my life."

"I'd have had the sense to move her out before Jade got back-."

He snorts. "You'd think, but when you've got a lot on your mind-."

"So: the advert. What do you actually think?"

"Ah, it sticks in the mind. Paul…"

"If you don't like it-."

"I don't think it really matters what ads we run."

"It doesn't? Because at this point brand recognition-."

"Most cocoa comes from West Africa. Some used to come from South America, but then…"

"The Accala, right."

"And with international shipping barely alive, Cadbury Logistics is basically the only source, and that's competing with everything else we're transporting. Cadbury Logistics is Cadbury Logistics, with everyone else using our spare capacity. Between the high demand and the fact that production is way down, other chocolate companies can't compete for the bottom or the middle of the market. Unless you try running an ad where you take a dump in our vats, I don't think it will make any difference."

"Oh. But, the reviews?"

"People usually find them funny, but that doesn't necessarily translate into sales. Guess it helps with your public image. You wanna run it?" He shrugs. "Run it. It probably won't help but at least it won't hurt."

"Yeah, yeah, run it then."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes. It looks like we're being used for drug trafficking. Any idea how they're doing that?"

 

[Darko]

We're not technically in competition with McDonalds. In fact, there have been several Cadbury-themed McFlurries over the years. But I'm sure that their CEO has a sense of humour, and Mr. Queen looks suitably braced.

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Now this reminded me of this.


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpC_U-BncA8

Paul would do something like what the Joker did and explain why a company does certain things.

"Okay. Ah. Was that real chocolate?"

I frown faintly. "It would rather undermine the advert if it wasn't."

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Gross.

 

[CrazyNoVa]

He takes another moment, then shakes his head. "How do you get the idea for this?"

"Well, that was inspired by an advert for blackcurrant Tango that played on British television when I was a boy."

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Well, at least he didn't get his inspiration from-

Mr. Wilkins: "Can I get you some Wilkins coffee?"

OH, SHI-*gets run over by a train*