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Cambrian

Cambrian

The Pimperor - Inspirational as Fuck
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  • d.fish
    You'd think that with all the new characters in video games with disabilities there'd be more demiliches, but nope, no representation for people with only a skull left.
    d.fish
    from the looks of it, Harambe started the last internet decade, Concord started this new internet decade
    d.fish
    You know, it's like, starbucks really dropped the ball this year, look at luckin coffee, they did a journey to the west event, you can even get a drinking straw styled like the monkey stick
    d.fish
    But there's actually a lot of beautiful ladies in the Journey to the West setting even outside of monkey game;

    Yaochi/Queen Mother of the West/Empress of Heaven (sometimes one person, sometimes multiple)
    Seven Fairies of the Peach Garden
    Chang E and Jade Bunnygirl on the Moon
    Jiutian Xuannv

    ... lots more, but it's like, Erlang's hot milf mom who's also the Jade Emperor's imouto, that kind of side character lmao
    d.fish
    The thing is about etymology, you know, "clone" is from plant off-shooting, "doppelganger" is double gang like spit roasting in bed, while "分身" is literally body splitting,

    So anyway, a monkey's butt hair
    d.fish
    Back during monkey king times, they didn't have toilet paper, instead, they used pieces of bamboo and scrape it off
    d.fish
    It's because one of the first lines in the game, in the intro, is about how all the monkeys are dead, so all the monkeys that come after have to be clones, or other beings in disguise, right?
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    d.fish
    d.fish
    Maybe this was lost in translation
    Cambrian
    Cambrian
    Yeah if you're talking about in the opening, Wukong says something (paraphrasing) like "I could understand all the other things you did, but KILLING MY KIN PISSES ME OFF" basically. In English, he doesn't say every single monkey is dead, just that the monkeys HAVE been dying
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    d.fish
    d.fish
    In Chinese there was an implication but no explicit wording of this; he said they killed all his monkey children and monkey grandchildren, basically, and this is how he addresses all the other monkeys on his mountain under his rule in the original novel
    d.fish
    It feels like story based games are ruined if I look at their endings, but I can't help but look at the endings of these games

    But it's like, once I look at the ending and know that I can get a harem ending if I do steps 1 to 9999, I'm like, that's fucking too much work fuck
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    Cambrian
    Cambrian
    I 100% used walkthroughs to make sure I didn't miss any hidden content in Black Myth Wukong once I found out there was content you could lock yourself out of in pretty much every chapter from 2 on. But I didn't read too far ahead, so the endings were still special to me
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    d.fish
    d.fish
    I feel that's still fine, cuz it's just an action game, you know, but with turn based story driven games where you collect party members like fire emblem but instead of coupling them you pair them all with your player insert harem... it gets ruined not by the ending but by the time sink required by harem end idk lol
    d.fish
    d.fish
    it just

    you know

    ending doesn't warrant such time cost, but

    like you're there for the harem antics/interactions, but when you only see the result, idk feel deflated
    d.fish
    Sword cultivators in wuxia and xianxia are pretty lewd, because "flying swords" or dancing swords as they are more often known as in fantasy are summoned with the phrase "剑来", "sword come"

    swords are already lewd dicks, but now you want them to come, it's like
    d.fish
    Why is it that romance in video games often takes like multiple stages and shit, when I just want instant satisfaction damn it
    d.fish
    I was gonna get into this sailing game with age of exploration themes but international instead of caribbean, but the second picture is a shot of the inventory management and I freaked out like holy shit

    inventory management with dozens/hundreds of items is the worsttt
    d.fish
    o nvm I found the monkey stick makers

    they just arent my usual gotos for swords like anduril or elden ring moon sword or master sword
    d.fish
    There's a lot of these cosplay weapon makers that make realistic material weapons out of video games on taobao and there's a lot of dark souls and elden ring weapons they make, but there's no monkey sticks for some reason :(
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    d.fish
    d.fish
    Well, I mean, there are, but those are like little walking sticks or stylized baseball bats, not beat your brains out sticks
    d.fish
    I accidentally called Stardew Valley a Terraria, and a kid called me grandma, and I guess this is another indication that I'm old, like back in the 90's when old people called every game a Nintendog
    d.fish
    I have come to realize there's actually not enough monkey memes.
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    Cambrian
    Cambrian
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    d.fish
    d.fish
    I got really into these deep fake videos where they turned monkey game characters into real life people who were being interviewed and had them dubbed over it looks so jank but so hilarious at the same time
    d.fish
    d.fish
    Also, it feels like red boi never got a positive representation, like in every journey to the west adaptation, he's always a little shit lmao

    then again, he was one in the novel
    d.fish
    Children: "Only children make choices, adults want all of them (harem ending)!"
    Adults: "Only children want all of them, adults know your waist can't handle that many."
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