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Recent content by LordofBones

  1. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune: "Oh well, time to use my royal privileges and have Vale Media brutally silenced." Girls: "Eh?"

  2. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune can talk to animals. Sure, it's not something earthshattering or gamechanging, but, among others, he finds out that Zwei is an evil overlord and cats think Blake is a poser. Zwei: "My vengeance shall be long and terrible, yellow bovine." Jaune: "Uh, Yang? You might want to loosen your...

  3. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jaune: "So, um, haha, did you know King Gilgamesh really hates copycats? It's why he hates my grandpa." Yang: "What's that supposed to mean?" Jaune: "It means Ruby might want to get a new robot." Weiss: "Wha-" Gilgamesh: "MONGRELS! That technique is fucking patented!"...

  4. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    A Blake handpuppet. The advice she gives is so good that Team RWY is out to save her too. To add insult to injury, Blake gets ignored whenever Better Blake is around.

  5. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Salem: "And goddamn, you couldn't even get a seventeen-year old whose voice hasn't cracked to commit suicide without a drawn-out fight scene?" Jaune: "Huh?" Salem: "You could have just pointed out that she couldn't lead a parade!" Jaune: "Um..." Salem: "And that she abandoned a team that...

  6. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Gele is Jacques' actual surname. Salem is calling Weiss her father's daughter.

  7. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    When Salem manifests and Ruby pulls aggro, she decides to go for a full party wipe. Salem: "Your mother said the same thing." Ruby: *breaking* "My...my mother?" Salem: "Oh yes, how should I describe her...phenomenal laser eyes, itty-bitty brain space." Ruby: *sobbing* Yang: "Fuck you, bitch!"...

  8. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jacques being pragmatic evil but utterly infuriated that he gets the blame for everything would be genuinely interesting. The SDC's faunus issues? Nicholas wasn't actually the best at running a business while Jacques was pragmatic enough to realize that marginalizing an entire race is going to...

  9. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Crack idea: Jaune somehow finds himself in Morrowind during the events of the titular game, only instead of the expected Imperial Legion sympathizing, he somehow ends up joining House Telvanni and finds himself internalizing the culture - that is to say, the culture of xenophobic mad scientist...

  10. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Crack idea: the Grimm Pools are sentient and sapient, and have the personality of Seihai-kun. Ruby: *sobbing* "Grimm-kun! Grimm-kun! Weiss, Blake and Yang never listen to me!" Grimm-kun: "Jeez, you're so silly Ruby." *LEADERSHIP AFFIRMATION DEVICE!* Ruby: "...Eh?" Grimm-kun: "Stab them in the...

  11. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Whitley: "Good lord! I'd heard that the faunus was so degenerate Menagerie kicked her out and that the blonde made hardened criminals cry from having to listen to her puns, but everyone assured me that Ruby Rose was perfectly normal! Now I find out that she's just as bad?! Is this why father...

  12. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Jacques: "I loathe that blonde buffoon and everything he stands for, but I will not have even my most disobedient daughter be forced to live off military rations. Congratulations Winter, you're engaged to Arc's son." Weiss: "WHAT?!"

  13. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Winter: *staring at an oblivious Tai* "I like my men mature. Dedicated. A little vulnerable. And hung like-" Weiss: *choking on her tea* <later> Weiss: *staring at the Rusted Knight* "Hubba-hubba."

  14. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Yang tries flirting with Jaune to them out and just ends up digging herself in deeper and deeper. Tai: "SEXUAL HARRASMENT?! QROOOOOOOW-" Cardin: "She's so stereotypical that she offends actual cats. How the hell did you not know?" Velvet: "Uh, her team is...the...y'know...special one."...

  15. [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    And then Salem finally gets to show off what sort of esoteric bullshit magic can do. Salem: "First rule of magic; tailor your spells to the situation. Quickened dominate animal." Blake: "Wha...that's racist...MEOW!"
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