On a Pale Horse (Umamusume/Youjo Senki)

plammed · 2026-07-24T21:48:06+0100

WrandmWaffles said:
This would have been truly outrageous if she found not to be related to the mare she foaled out of.

Doofenshmirtz-backstory-level shenanigans.

Killdread · 2026-07-24T22:00:54+0100

"… gene sequences previously only found in elephants … uniquely high lip motility … abnormally low PH stomach acid … producing C-14 during respiration … What the hell is this 'horse?'"

The scientists trying to figure out Shirogane.

SiegfriedisPower · 2026-07-24T22:11:57+0100

SiegfriedisPower said:
It's not stealing if she made that money herself.

By the way is it funnier if you take the joke at face value or if take one step further and say she, The Horse, has an accounting gig to pass the time in her retirement?

Take it two steps further and she's running a successful Yen forging operation, bit ooc though.

drake_azathoth · 2026-07-24T22:12:38+0100

plammed said:
Doofenshmirtz-backstory-level shenanigans.

"As a foal, my dam didn't even attend my birth - the breeders concluded I had no future in racing and condemned me to a life of meaningless agricultural work better conducted by machines in any sane capitalist market. I escaped the farm they sent me to and lived for a year with a pack of wild tanuki earning money as an actuary and business consultant by mail until I was able to afford DNA testing that proved I was Hokuto Vega's foal and obtained racing certification.

Then I returned to the farm that I had been condemned to. Persuading the farmer of dubious financial acumen via the carrot of a handsome bribe and the stick of my highly trained tanuki commandos should he fail me, I arranged for my sale to an up and coming racing stable with proof of my lineage."

arky4444 · 2026-07-24T22:38:20+0100

Killdread said:
"… gene sequences previously only found in elephants … uniquely high lip motility … abnormally low PH stomach acid … producing C-14 during respiration … What the hell is this 'horse?'"

The scientists trying to figure out Shirogane.

From "My Name is Zushio" Chapter 15:

"Silver is a horse, and he is NOT a horse. To be precise, he is an UMA! Unidentified Mysterious Animal!! AKA Silver the UMA!!"

"IT'S... NOT A HORSE!!!!"

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia · 2026-07-25T01:12:12+0100

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Rock1244 said:
You previously wrote that the theoretical horse Shirogane stomped a bear to death—perhaps during a uma summer training camp. Could there have been a bear warning in the area that, for some reason, the camp didn't receive?
One of the hunters rushes to the director to warn of the danger in the area, and then they hear the panicked screams and see the students fleeing.
Then someone screams, "Where is Shiro?" The hunter runs over desperately hoping to save the innocent young Uma and finds her with the dead bear.

A week later, the restaurant receives a letter and a box from Shiro; she writes that the training camp was fun and that she has sent a souvenir from the camp. They open the box, and inside is a very fine bearskin rug.

So a normal day for Kawakami Princess? Because she literally does that.

Killdread said:
"… gene sequences previously only found in elephants … uniquely high lip motility … abnormally low PH stomach acid … producing C-14 during respiration … What the hell is this 'horse?'"

The scientists trying to figure out Shirogane.

View: https://www.reddit.com/r/UmaMusume/comments/1sosfuz/scp2872_but_its_an_umamusume/

TheSmallSauce · 2026-07-25T01:21:36+0100

Jomasten said:
She also writes that bear meat is surprisingly pungent, but prepared right, actually tastes really good.

Eating bear meat is so risky man... It's gamey as all hell, and it's probably teeming with parasites. Somehow, as I got older, bears went from Winnie the Poo to Winnie the tapeworm is hanging out of where you Poo.

Though if it's about killing bears, Shiro should trade pointers with Daring Tact.

WrandmWaffles said:
One funny thing is that Shirogane might end up inspiring Vodka (uma Vodka would be around 5 years old at the time) to run for some of the Classic Races.

There's a cute panel in Cinderella Grey where Oguri takes a picture with a young TM Opera O, I imagine Shiro does the same for Vodka. Which makes me wonder if Vodka's idea of cool gets influenced by Shiro beyond the choice of race?

here-we-have-oguri-cap-and-young-t-m-opera-o-sharing-a-v0-18sjac17gzeh1.png

Actually going beyond that, Shiro has another similarity to Oguri, doesn't she? She trained on a dirt track in her hometown and switched to turf when she went to Tracen. Has Hana lined up any dirt races for Shiro, or has Shiro expressed interest in running dirt races to make even more paper?

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia · 2026-07-25T01:35:49+0100

Content Disclaimer said:
As per Rule 8 Point 3: If in your Opinion my Post in any capacity, shape, and/or form Violates Rule 5, 8, or 9 then inform me so I may Delete the Post. Check Signature for further elaboration. Assistance is appreciated. Asking about the Content Disclaimer will be treated as being Informed of a Rule 5 Violation on my part.

TheSmallSauce said:
Though if it's about killing bears, Shiro should trade pointers with Daring Tact.

Live footage of Daring Tact on a "fishing" trip. Shiro is the one holding the camera:

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVS1UfCfxlU

Which makes me wonder if Vodka's idea of cool gets influenced by Shiro beyond the choice of race?

She's also supposed to be Inspired by Gimlet, her Real World Counterpart's Sire.

Also that picture just is a reminder that UmaMusume Earth Exists in an acasual atemporal dimension, Opera being a lil foal during Oguri's career and Oguri is still a teenager when Opera begins hers.

Solconbur · 2026-07-25T01:56:37+0100

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
Also that picture just is a reminder that UmaMusume Earth Exists in an acasual atemporal dimension, Opera being a lil foal during Oguri's career and Oguri is still a teenager when Opera begins hers.

I've seen a sttory explain that as Oguri Cap joining the student council. ...and Maruzensky is definitely 17, yes.

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia · 2026-07-25T02:27:37+0100

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Solconbur said:
...and Maruzensky is definitely 17, yes.

She sure doesn't look 17. Rudolf looks like she could pass for 17 especially when she's wearing the school uniform (although her racewear makes her look a lot older). Maru is in the "Adult Supervision" Club with Super Creek and Ramonu where the uniform only makes it more obvious. If anything Maru actually looks old enough to be Chiyo's mother.

Solconbur · 2026-07-25T03:31:16+0100

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
She sure doesn't look 17. Rudolf looks like she could pass for 17 especially when she's wearing the school uniform (although her racewear makes her look a lot older). Maru is in the "Adult Supervision" Club with Super Creek and Ramonu where the uniform only makes it more obvious. If anything Maru actually looks old enough to be Chiyo's mother.

Shut up. She's 17. And if you say any more, you'll make her cry.

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia · 2026-07-25T03:49:19+0100

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Solconbur said:
Shut up. She's 17. And if you say any more, you'll make her cry.

Just tell her Trainer (or whomever) is Legally required to see her as cute and not as a viable partner in any shape or form other then being employed by her and a student of theirs as long as she is underage,

Or just tell her she would be hot if she was an adult but as it is she is merely cute and headpat-able.

She sabotages her efforts to pretend to be a teenager with owning a house. And a car. Which is registered to her license. And driving from one in the other instead of living in the dorms. And has been Publicly seen going out drinking with Tazuna and Ramonu as if she's secretly employed by the Academy.

Solconbur · 2026-07-25T04:57:58+0100

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
Just tell her Trainer (or whomever) is Legally required to see her as cute and not as a viable partner in any shape or form other then being employed by her and a student of theirs as long as she is underage,

Or just tell her she would be hot if she was an adult but as it is she is merely cute and headpat-able.

She sabotages her efforts to pretend to be a teenager with owning a house. And a car. Which is registered to her license. And driving from one in the other instead of living in the dorms. And has been Publicly seen going out drinking with Tazuna and Ramonu as if she's secretly employed by the Academy.

Good job, you made an Uma cry. How could you.

TheSmallSauce · 2026-07-25T12:54:53+0100

Centergg · 2026-07-25T13:51:01+0100

TheSmallSauce said:

Marvellous!
And with a hint of dangerous smile!
She is ready to politrly remind her opponents Why she have such a strong (bad) reputation

Neo3932156 · 2026-07-25T13:59:39+0100

Y'know, I starting to get why the other Umas are kinda scared of her.

TheSmallSauce · 2026-07-25T14:09:32+0100

Neo3932156 said:
Y'know, I starting to get why the other Umas are kinda scared of her.

But why? After all...

WrandmWaffles said:
"There's nothing to fear other than the shame of failure."

Well, that was the scene that inspired this piece, but Shiro didn't even have her racing outfit yet at this point in the story... So please imagine that she's saying this before entering the starting gates for a big G1 race instead. Also sorry Wrandm, I tried drawing the hat, but it was really fighting me with the messed up perspective, just pretend that there's an unscrupulous hat thief running around Tracen.

eager slacker · 2026-07-25T14:15:16+0100

Also recall that in Season 2 of Umamusame Mejiro McQueen had that moment of hesitation in the race right before that match with Rice Shower. Umas can get surprisingly skittish and if they aren't used to Shirogane from racing her all the time or just by knowing her the people around her can easily get thrown off of their game.

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia · 2026-07-25T15:56:41+0100

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TheSmallSauce said:
■ Job Experience

Supposedly Shirogane Orezeru had a job before her long career in staked racing...

She was a delivery horse!

That's right, before she was scouted, she was a delivery horse in Fujisawa.

It's said that she never missed a delivery in 3 years

■ Fearsome Beast Pt.1

During her active years, Shirogane had a reputation for intimidating other horses

In her junior year, there were no less than 9 starting gate incidents.

According to a stablehand that took care of her,

There was very good reason for this intimidating aura

■ Fearsome Beast Pt. 2

"One night we heard the horses freaking out,

so we went to check on them...

...and we found a bear inside the enclosure.

It was dead on the ground with its skull caved in, and Shirogane was just standing next to it like nothing happened."

An illustrated comic in lunaticmonster's style is a lot of work to pull off... Maybe in a couple weeks we'll see.

TheSmallSauce said:

macdjord said:
Omake:
The Japanese Horse Racing Beer League

Interviewer: "So, what inspired you to create the league?"

Trainer: "Well, it all started in 2005, when Shirogane Orzeł retired."

Interviewer: "She had quite a long career, didn't she?"

Trainer: "Extremely so. Understand, most racehorses start racing when they're two or three years old, and retire after two or three seasons. Shirogane raced for eight years. Frankly, we didn't even want to retire her; she wasn't winning, but she was still showing or placing enough to be a money-maker, and the veterinarian swore she wasn't showing any signs of long-term damage."

Interviewer: "So then why not keep racing her?"

Trainer: *shrugs* "The insurance company categorically refused to cover a racehorse over the age of 10, and none of the major leagues would allow an uninsured competitor.*"

Interviewer: "Most unfortunate. Is that why you founded your own league?"

Trainer: "Not directly. Shirogane didn't take to retirement well. At first it was fine, but as time went on, she started to get depressed. She was barely eating, barely exercising. Nothing was physically wrong with her, according to our vet, but she seemed to have no energy - which, for a mare as tireless as Shirogane, was truly disturbing."

Interviewer: "So what did you do?"

Trainer: "Shirogane's jockey guessed that she was missing the races, so he tried something radical: he put her back on the training regimen she'd been on back when she was competing. And it worked: she came out of her funk almost immediately. It took a couple months for her to gain back the weight she'd lost, but by the end of the year, she was back in racing condition. But that left us with a new problem: Shirogane had always been very smart. Eventually she'd figure out that we weren't training her for anything, and then we'd be back to square one."

Interviewer: "Thus the beer league?"

Trainer: "Effectively, yes. I called up some of the other racing stables and made arrangements for some other retired horses - Still in Love and Haru Urara being the most famous - to meet up for a friendly race. Originally it was just going to be a private event, but the JRA caught wind of it and, since it was the off-season, offered to let us use the Hanshin Racecourse and make it an official no-prize demonstration race. It ended up being such a success that we founded the beer league to keep doing it, with that race retroactively becoming the new league's first event. Besides - we needed more races to keep Shirogane happy."

Interviewer: "And that explains some of the beer league's idiosyncratic rules, doesn't it?"

Trainer: "It's hard to overstate how much Shirogane's needs influenced the structure of the league. We were concerned that, if there were significant prizes, it would turn into just another standard racing league, just with older horses, thus pushing out anyone who, whether for reasons of health or money, couldn't maintain the sort of training schedule expected of an active career racehorse. (Admittedly, Shirogane was maintaining exactly such a schedule, but given she was over 13 years old by then, she was hardly dominating the event.) On the other hand, participating in a race is not cheap, so having no prizes would effectively exclude anyone but the larger stables or those with wealthy private backers. And on the third hand, Shirogane performed better when there was a clear reward for success. So the rule became that every participant got an equal share of the prize pool, except the 3rd-, 2nd-, and 1st-place finishers who got two, three, and four shares respectively, and we fiddled with the overall prize pool until each share was more or less enough to cover a given racer's costs. We also forbade on-track betting, and prohibited trainers and jockeys from betting on themselves to win, in order to limit the financial stakes. There are other things, too: we select our courses and race lengths to minimize the strain on the horses, and our rules on shoving and blocking are even more strict than the rest of Japan."

Interviewer: "Amazing. And all in the memory of Shirogane Orzeł?"

Trainer: "Memory?"

Interviewer: "Wait, are you saying Shirogane is still around?"

Trainer: "I'm saying she's standing right behind you."

Shirogane: *snorts*

Interviewer: "GAHHH!"

Trainer: "Ha! That one never gets old. Here, have a carrot, Shirogane. I'll figure out how you're so quiet one of these days."

* I have no idea if racehorses actually have insurance, let alone if they'd be barred from competing without it, but it seemed like a plausible reason to force a horse into retirement.

These actually remind me of a Webcomic Series on Pixiv that the UmaMusume Reddit has been Translating. The Author taking Interviews from zines and making UmaMusume adaptations with a Citation on virtually every Page of where the Text actually came from. The one time s/he didn't do that was Haru Durarara. That one had the last Page literally be a representative of the Audience shouting at her/him about them only for her/him to point out the Primary Source? The Author themself. S/he interviewed the actual jockey for the Story. S/he's now part of the list of viable Primary Sources as much as those zines are. A Story directly from the horse's mouth.

Although I can't remember the Name of the Webcomic. You probably could find it by Googling "UmaMusume Facts Webcomic" or something like that.

[Edit]
Here's one for Oguri Cap:

View: https://www.reddit.com/r/UmaMusume/comments/1ok7vav/the_story_of_pools_and_oguri_cap_lunaticmonster/

Lunaticmonster, that's the Name of the Author! Also the Pixiv ID on the comic!

TheSmallSauce · 2026-07-25T16:04:20+0100

D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia said:
These actually remind me of a Webcomic Series on Pixiv that the UmaMusume Reddit has been Translating. The Author taking Interviews from zines and making UmaMusume adaptations with a Citation on virtually every Page of where the Text actually came from. The one time she didn't do that was Haru Durarara. That one had the last Page literally be a representative of the Audience shouting at her about them only for her to point out the Primary Source? Her. She interviewed the actual jockey for the Story. She's now part of the list of viable Primary Sources as much as those zines are.

Although I can't remember the Name of the Webcomic. You probably could find it by Googling "UmaMusume Facts Webcomic" or something like that.

[Edit]
Here's one for Oguri Cap:

View: https://www.reddit.com/r/UmaMusume/comments/1ok7vav/the_story_of_pools_and_oguri_cap_lunaticmonster/

Lunaticmonster, that's the Name of the Author!

Yup, that's the one. I tried my hand at his style, but the charm of it isn't so easy to mimic. To be fair he has been making these comics since 2009, though back then it was for Kancolle.

On a Pale Horse (Umamusume/Youjo Senki)

card-carrying history nerd

Descended Beyond Time

Calamity Demon King of Time

Fabulously Evil

Getting out there.

⌈META⌋

Use it or lose it!

⌈META⌋

Versed in the lewd.

⌈META⌋

Versed in the lewd.

⌈META⌋

Versed in the lewd.

Use it or lose it!

I trust you know where the happy button is?

Versed in the lewd.

Use it or lose it!

Versed in the lewd.

⌈META⌋

Use it or lose it!

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