Questionable Questing

pepperjack

Assuming your soldiers are mortal men, my settlements don't ultimately have anything to fear from them, but repelling invasions is still annoying, so I guess I could see the benefit in non-aggression.

pepperjack

Still, consider what you would do if you were invaded by hordes of the undead. I hope I don't overstep the bounds of humility when I suggest that my nation's armies - and particularly the leaders of those armies - may be better equipped to handle explicitly Evil threats (capital E).

pepperjack

As for the offer to my citizens... well, sure, that's alright then. I hope your own citizens will feel free to attend any of our lovely concerts and choral performances while visiting my own kingdom. Very few of those are performed with the enchanted harp that bends mortal minds to my will; the playbills for such are clearly marked.

Plotvitalnpc

I'm actually reasonably certain my soldiers would be unaging (horn of plenty) women, which might make for an exception.

Plotvitalnpc

Still, though, you're definitely better equipped for war. The nonaggression was for my benefit, not yours. An actual mutual defense pact, though, would be nice. Lets me send less of my beautiful people to their deaths, lets you send less of your elite warriors to their deaths.

Plotvitalnpc

As for the concerts and performances, that does sound rather nice.
Do be such a good neighbor as to send me recordings of them. I'm certain my harem and myself would be barred from entry at the border, let alone the door to the venues.

pepperjack

Sure thing. We'll even send you a clockwork device that'll play them back for you. Did you know that vinyl could be used for more than shiny carriage seats and bondage gear? Mouse Princess did!

Plotvitalnpc

She certainly seems to be a clever one. I'm more partial to my dear Rabbit Princess, though. She fits the character of my kingdom like your city mouse does yours.

Plotvitalnpc

Her kids are cute, too.
...And the 'get-out-of-death-free' is a welcome opportunity.

Plotvitalnpc

Now that I think about it, if we went to war I really couldn't stop you,
Knight Princesses sword gives a guaranteed victory against evil, which is something that...yeah, my first kingdom is that.

Plotvitalnpc

Also, lots of girls with barely covered crotches in Part 2.
Like, is Monkey Princesses /even/ covered, or is that just pubic hair?

pepperjack

All of Monkey Princess's hair is pubic hair.

ALL of it.

pepperjack

... hey, if I conquered your kingdom - would I get your Princesses?

Plotvitalnpc

They might die of withdrawal.

Plotvitalnpc

Or just go into horrible depression, since it's a psychological addiction.

pepperjack

Hmm. We wouldn't want that.

Instead of killing you, I could use Angel Princess's Harp to tame you into being a member of the court? Like a jester or something. Then you could keep your harem, and we'd just liberate the *rest* of the kingdom.

I might want to borrow them from time to time, but you'd be cool with that, right?

Plotvitalnpc

Depends how strong a stance you take with the Harp's power.
Alternatively, maybe you reduce me to a vassal duke ruling over my kingdom-cum-duchy under you, using your overwhelming military strength and the sword to threaten me into letting you hold suzerainty over me, because you could crush me if I didn't, or if I started to fuck with your own direct servants.

Plotvitalnpc

You know what I want to know?
What does 'Can multiply with relative ease' mean for the Monkey Princess?
One woman orgy, or comfortable pregnancy?

pepperjack

I can't help but read that as "Cum Duchy," which is a little too on the nose.

Monkey Princess is crazy good with an abacus.

Plotvitalnpc

Well, that's one way to look at it, I guess.