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  1. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Think that should be a double o too, as in also.
  2. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Should be "You're", the contraction as the first word
  3. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Missing quotation
  4. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    I'm not quite sure what this is supposed to be, but it doesn't look right.
  5. Profipfreely

    Cyberpunk: Demon of Night City (Cyberpunk 2077 SI/OC)

    Oof. Good chapter.
  6. Profipfreely

    A Smith's Song (Percy Jackson / ASOIAF / Game of Thrones)

    Yeah the Percy Jackson movie had the hydra breathe fire because it was written by trope. That's why every one is an asshole, Percy is eighteen, he's told the answer to almost every problem, the strong female character is literally strong and can kick everyone's ass, and Hades was the bad guy...
  7. Profipfreely

    A Smith's Song (Percy Jackson / ASOIAF / Game of Thrones)

    I understood what you were trying to do, my only gripe is about the fire breathing hyrda. Rather specifically, greek hydra's don't breathe fire.
  8. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Should probably be storm forward
  9. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    You know, I was kind of expecting them to self-destruct immediately. Someone must not be taking their Joy
  10. Profipfreely

    Stand by for validation

    Stand by for validation
  11. Profipfreely

    Just a Phase [Worm]

    It's less generating spam, and more making it official that She Does Not Want To Be Here. There's a level of forethought, and her lawyer could easily go "My client, from the *first day*, has been asking to be allowed to leave the Wards, and this proves it." You are right that it should...
  12. Profipfreely

    Just a Phase [Worm]

    I mean sure they've been actually reasonably accommodating, but generating paperwork is it's own means. She's *told* them that she doesn't want to be a ward, and even them proving it for the first hundred only makes them look more shady when they have to say it all again for the second hundred...
  13. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Even better if it can't talk or reason. I think it's less tattling and more "if you don't stop being a dickhead I'm going to cut this cord"
  14. Profipfreely

    Uhhh, no. It was an imgur dump about centaurs, because foals can walk in about twenty minutes...

    Uhhh, no. It was an imgur dump about centaurs, because foals can walk in about twenty minutes but human babies are useless for about 20 years
  15. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Oh no, Zoat's one true weakness! Linguistic drift!
  16. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Is it bad that I've watched SovietWomble video's so much that my next thought was "What's happening?" "The door is blocked!" "What's happening?" Anyway, great chapter!
  17. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    I don't know if it's intended, but that "Because-" doesn't have an ending dash (-). Seems out of place since you have "thralls-" and "-drop".
  18. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    "Thank you."
  19. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    I came out here for a good time and I'm feeling very attacked right now... entirely by the newspapers.
  20. Profipfreely

    With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

    Zoat, if he's floating, he's very clearly above them.
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