A/N: So, I'm crossposting this here to QQ from FFN because I'm hoping the better feedback will...
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Mina Misa Mi! | 1 |
Yes.
what the hell is this even?Another mind, existent within mine? Or perhaps yet another manifestation of myself; simply a facet of my endless power I cannot yet concentrate, exercised for me by some muscle memory I can't, as this small piece of myself, yet use.
Do I simply touch this panel? I find myself struggling to physically do so, but all at once the knowledge I knew I held flooded into me, not teaching me but simply awakening within me the ability to touch, to manipulate this vessel. I do so.
which is utterly meaningless and could have been skipped. why even walk us step by step through the choices if his logic is going to be "i just pick randomly on instinct"Again, the same thing happens. Perhaps while here, my power aids me in more direct ways; I simply know which I want to choose. Why? Maybe it'll be the most useful, or perhaps not. Until this vessel becomes strong enough to understand more about my existence, I may never know. Either way, I choose [Martial Artist].
A/N: So, I'm crossposting this here to QQ from FFN because I'm hoping the better feedback will help with demotivation issues I face with writing.
This is about a year old and definitely not terribly great, but hopefully it is fun. The second chapter I... just wrote today. Lol. Probably upload it in a few days if this gets some traction.
This is a learning experience for me. I enjoy brainstorming more than writing, so my technical writing abilities are, in all likelihood, pretty bad. I want help improving them, feeling more motivated to write, and maybe help tempering my ideas. Any help given is greatly appreciated.
Also, are we allowed to link Discords on QQ?
Ch1 is constantly waxing in empty philosophy that comes off as kinda stupid. like this
what the hell is this even?
We then spend a bunch of lines on MC making choices... except instead of actual reasoning we get bullshit like
which is utterly meaningless and could have been skipped. why even walk us step by step through the choices if his logic is going to be "i just pick randomly on instinct"
Tru. QQ is mostly horny SB rejects, but SB rejects are better than Fanfiction reviews which are just "so good" and "pls update" and "harem or no?"You come to us, on this, the day of our daughters reading and you expect advice?
Do you truly expect compassion and constructive criticism from QQ. . . . .oh you sweet summer child, you know not the dark abyss you have happily skipped on into, do not pray to your gods, for there will be no mercy.
Tru. QQ is mostly horny SB rejects, but SB rejects are better than Fanfiction reviews which are just "so good" and "pls update" and "harem or no?"