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A Sociopath on this World. [Class of 09 x Konosuba]
- Thread starter Davos
- Start date
A Sociopath on This World 6
New
Davos
laxing0@gmail
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2023
- Messages
- 242
- Likes received
- 5,640
"What kind of parent names their kid Darkness? Were they too poor for an abortion? Maybe they were-" Nicole stops when the blonde woman arches her back, lips clasped tightly as she moans.
"Did…you just get turned on?" Jecka asks and Darkness looks at her with a steely gaze.
"Do not be absurd. As an honorable knight, I find such accusations…deplorable~."
"You sound kinda turned on…or is that a common greeting of your people?" Nicole asks while looking at Megumin.
"Don't lump Crimson Demon culture with her perversion Nicole!" Megumin says while hanging onto Kazuma's back, giant toad fluids making her shine.
"Get off of me, you stink…" Kazuma says as Darkness starts panting and shivering.
"To be shamed even by a child…how deplorable~." Darkness says, making Megumin glare at her with glowing eyes.
"So why do you want to join my party?" Nicole asks.
"I thought I was clear? You're perfect! You're the kind who is a failure at everything she attempts and blames society for her ills! The sort who only takes the easy way out unless it is to inflict harm upon others, than you transform into an unstoppable force to bring ruin to whoever rightfully sleights her!" Darkness says, making Nicole glare more with each word.
"Wow, she has your number~." Kazuma says, making Nicole glance at him.
"…They're not wrong…" Jecka thinks while taking another drag.
"Yep. Got another target now." Nicole thinks.
"And you!"
"Me?" Kazuma asks.
"Yes you, I can feel how your eyes are licking me! Alternating between me and these two like the hopeless pervert you are! I can barely imagine what depraved fantasies circle in your head at any moment!" Darkness says, making Kazuma slam a fist onto the table.
"T-that's not true! I'm not licking anything!"
"That's probably part of the problem…no reciprocating~." Nicole says.
"Listen here you-" He stops when she pokes out her cheek with her tongue and a wink, making him blush.
"Predictable." Nicole says with a sneer.
"So predictable." Jecka says.
"And you!" Darkness looks at her with full eyes.
"Hey! I am not a bad person so don't you start bitch!"
"Exactly!"
"I haven't thought about Redtube in-huh?" Jecka's eyes widen a moment.
"You are the definition of Milquetoast! Spineless despite your abrasive front, happy to go along with another's plan even if they are detrimental to yourself! A perfect victim! A kindred spirit, a comrade in arms! You're just like me!" Darkness says and Jecka cracks her knuckles.
"I'm killing her."
"What happened to not wanting to be a criminal?" Nicole says while taking the smoke from Jecka's mouth to take a drag.
"I'll just bust us out or something." Jecka says before taking a swing at Darkness, the blow caught in Darkness' hand, and the subsequent pressure knocking over anything that was not attached to the ground, including Nicole's cigarette.
Jecka looks up at Darkness in shock.
"That…should have killed you…"
"It was a surprisingly strong blow. Thankfully I possess formidable defenses." Darkness says while pushing Jecka away, shaking out her armored hand.
"That should have been more than strong…" Jecka says as Darkness leans in to whisper.
"…Are you self conscious about your muscles too?"
"I don't…" Jecka walks away in a daze, taking a seat near Kazuma.
"…So about Redtube…" He asks.
"Fuck off." Jecka says.
"…Why should we let you in the party? I'll admit, you look like a great meat shield but-"
"Hnng~"
"Stop moaning for one minute, Jesus Christ! It's like you're backup dancer in some shitty rap video." Nicole says.
"…I'll admit, my resilience may be my only positive trait. I am rather inaccurate with a blade and prone to being grabbed by the enemy, so I am not sure how useful I will be in a fight."
"She sounds perfect as an expendable meat shield, though I am a little unsure if Jecka will leave her in a bad situation…"
"But to make up for that I will allow myself to be useful in other ways! I know of a few quests on the board only I am willing to undertake and will split the shares with you!"
"Ok, that sounds good for us, but…Is being abused all you want? I don't mind, but you better not have a change of heart later~." Nicole says with a glint in her eye.
"I would never break my word, you can even test your weapons on me~."
"Oh, now you're talking…~"
"Oh no…" Jecka says.
"What is it?" Kazuma asks.
"I know that voice…" Jecka says with a frown.
"I can be quite demeaning." Nicole says.
"You make that sound like it's a flaw." Darkness answers back.
"God, you might be perfect." Nicole says.
"C-compliments won't win me-"
"A perfect punching bag~." Nicole says and Darkness hunches forward with heavy breathing as Nicole continues.
"I'm gonna enjoy beating the shit out of you."
"Yes…"
"Smacking you for no reason in public, making you get me stuff like a slave~."
"Yes~!"
"Cutting you with all manner of blades?" Nicole asks with a wink.
"Think you can find a blade sharp enough?"
"Oh, you'll do~ Now call me Mistress."
"Mis-"
"While on your knees."
Darkness does a body wide shiver, panting as she goes to the floor.
"Mistress~."
"You're in. Let's get you a collar like the bitch you are."
"Nicole! You can't just-" Jecka's words are ignored as Nicole and Darkness leave the area.
"…What kind of messed up romance did I just witness?" Megumin asks.
"An abusive lesbian relationship…The second one for Nicole…"
"She was abused? That would explain her, well, everything." Kazuma asks.
"No, she was the abuser in that one too, made a gay girl straight." Jecka says.
"That makes more sense than it should…" Kazuma says before slamming a fist into the table.
"It's not fair…She's a terrible erson but gets a busty blonde bombshell who'll do anything she wants and I get a used up loli covered in God knows what!"
"I am not a loli! And I am not used up!"
"Didn't you say you could only do that spell once a day?" Jecka says.
"Well yes but-"
"What kind of idiot only does magic once a day?" Kazuma says while walking away, grumbling.
"Let's see you say that when you witness the destructive majesty of Explosion!"
Meanwhile, after getting Darkness a collar, Nicole walks with her in town.
"I forgot to ask, but when does the party take another quest?"
"Probably tomorrow; shouldn't be hard with you as a meat shield." Nicole says and Darkness squirms before recovering herself.
"I am a little worried…defending 4 people might be difficult. I cannot imagine that man is a frontline class."
"4? What do you mean 4? It's just me, Jecka, and you."
"I thought the young man and girl covered in fluids were part of the party? That was why I tried to sell myself so hard earlier…most parties typically keep to a size of 4."
"Fuck no!"
"Surprising…I was kind of curious how terrible a person he was~." Darkness says before being pulled by Nicole.
"Oh you don't have to worry about that…I'll be all the horror you need."
Any other person would have fled at that tone, especially as they climbed the stairs to her room…more so when Nicole pulled out a dozen razor blades.
But Darkness merely panted in anticipation.
===
Jecka opens the door to the room carrying a few fliers.
"Nicole you here? I got a few-"
"How the Hell do your abs dull blades?!" Nicole asks with a dozen rounded razors on the floor. Darkness looks to the ground, twiddling her thumbs.
"I…have a very high defense stat…"
"…The fuck is going on here?" Jecka asks.
"My bimbo pet here thought we were in a party with cock-whatever his name is, so I took her here to get him out of her mind, but her and her rock hard manly muscles dulled every single razor!"
"I don't have manly muscles!"
"That's the part you're not ok with?" Nicole asks.
"Wait, all of them?!" Jecka asks.
"Yes! I don't know what kind of steroids she uses but-"
"But nothing Nicole, what the fuck are we gonna use to shave with now?!"
"I have a few spare knives I can lend if you-"
"No one was talking to you!" Nicole says before backhanding Darkness before clutching her hand.
"Fuuuck, what is your face made of!? This is almost as bad as being shot!"
"…I have very high defense stats…"
"I wonder if those toads would spit her out if they ate her?" Jecka asks absentmindedly.
"Let's find out!" Darkness says with a smile, heading to the door, stopping as a rip appears in the air.
"Oh, Blue Bitch again?" Nicole says before a red haired woman steps out of it, the air starts to become muggy as she stands in the room,
"I am Pyra, Goddess of flame, arbiter of the departed in another world, and the final sight for countless damned. Which of you little heathens are Nicole and Jecka?"
"Did…you just get turned on?" Jecka asks and Darkness looks at her with a steely gaze.
"Do not be absurd. As an honorable knight, I find such accusations…deplorable~."
"You sound kinda turned on…or is that a common greeting of your people?" Nicole asks while looking at Megumin.
"Don't lump Crimson Demon culture with her perversion Nicole!" Megumin says while hanging onto Kazuma's back, giant toad fluids making her shine.
"Get off of me, you stink…" Kazuma says as Darkness starts panting and shivering.
"To be shamed even by a child…how deplorable~." Darkness says, making Megumin glare at her with glowing eyes.
"So why do you want to join my party?" Nicole asks.
"I thought I was clear? You're perfect! You're the kind who is a failure at everything she attempts and blames society for her ills! The sort who only takes the easy way out unless it is to inflict harm upon others, than you transform into an unstoppable force to bring ruin to whoever rightfully sleights her!" Darkness says, making Nicole glare more with each word.
"Wow, she has your number~." Kazuma says, making Nicole glance at him.
"…They're not wrong…" Jecka thinks while taking another drag.
"Yep. Got another target now." Nicole thinks.
"And you!"
"Me?" Kazuma asks.
"Yes you, I can feel how your eyes are licking me! Alternating between me and these two like the hopeless pervert you are! I can barely imagine what depraved fantasies circle in your head at any moment!" Darkness says, making Kazuma slam a fist onto the table.
"T-that's not true! I'm not licking anything!"
"That's probably part of the problem…no reciprocating~." Nicole says.
"Listen here you-" He stops when she pokes out her cheek with her tongue and a wink, making him blush.
"Predictable." Nicole says with a sneer.
"So predictable." Jecka says.
"And you!" Darkness looks at her with full eyes.
"Hey! I am not a bad person so don't you start bitch!"
"Exactly!"
"I haven't thought about Redtube in-huh?" Jecka's eyes widen a moment.
"You are the definition of Milquetoast! Spineless despite your abrasive front, happy to go along with another's plan even if they are detrimental to yourself! A perfect victim! A kindred spirit, a comrade in arms! You're just like me!" Darkness says and Jecka cracks her knuckles.
"I'm killing her."
"What happened to not wanting to be a criminal?" Nicole says while taking the smoke from Jecka's mouth to take a drag.
"I'll just bust us out or something." Jecka says before taking a swing at Darkness, the blow caught in Darkness' hand, and the subsequent pressure knocking over anything that was not attached to the ground, including Nicole's cigarette.
Jecka looks up at Darkness in shock.
"That…should have killed you…"
"It was a surprisingly strong blow. Thankfully I possess formidable defenses." Darkness says while pushing Jecka away, shaking out her armored hand.
"That should have been more than strong…" Jecka says as Darkness leans in to whisper.
"…Are you self conscious about your muscles too?"
"I don't…" Jecka walks away in a daze, taking a seat near Kazuma.
"…So about Redtube…" He asks.
"Fuck off." Jecka says.
"…Why should we let you in the party? I'll admit, you look like a great meat shield but-"
"Hnng~"
"Stop moaning for one minute, Jesus Christ! It's like you're backup dancer in some shitty rap video." Nicole says.
"…I'll admit, my resilience may be my only positive trait. I am rather inaccurate with a blade and prone to being grabbed by the enemy, so I am not sure how useful I will be in a fight."
"She sounds perfect as an expendable meat shield, though I am a little unsure if Jecka will leave her in a bad situation…"
"But to make up for that I will allow myself to be useful in other ways! I know of a few quests on the board only I am willing to undertake and will split the shares with you!"
"Ok, that sounds good for us, but…Is being abused all you want? I don't mind, but you better not have a change of heart later~." Nicole says with a glint in her eye.
"I would never break my word, you can even test your weapons on me~."
"Oh, now you're talking…~"
"Oh no…" Jecka says.
"What is it?" Kazuma asks.
"I know that voice…" Jecka says with a frown.
"I can be quite demeaning." Nicole says.
"You make that sound like it's a flaw." Darkness answers back.
"God, you might be perfect." Nicole says.
"C-compliments won't win me-"
"A perfect punching bag~." Nicole says and Darkness hunches forward with heavy breathing as Nicole continues.
"I'm gonna enjoy beating the shit out of you."
"Yes…"
"Smacking you for no reason in public, making you get me stuff like a slave~."
"Yes~!"
"Cutting you with all manner of blades?" Nicole asks with a wink.
"Think you can find a blade sharp enough?"
"Oh, you'll do~ Now call me Mistress."
"Mis-"
"While on your knees."
Darkness does a body wide shiver, panting as she goes to the floor.
"Mistress~."
"You're in. Let's get you a collar like the bitch you are."
"Nicole! You can't just-" Jecka's words are ignored as Nicole and Darkness leave the area.
"…What kind of messed up romance did I just witness?" Megumin asks.
"An abusive lesbian relationship…The second one for Nicole…"
"She was abused? That would explain her, well, everything." Kazuma asks.
"No, she was the abuser in that one too, made a gay girl straight." Jecka says.
"That makes more sense than it should…" Kazuma says before slamming a fist into the table.
"It's not fair…She's a terrible erson but gets a busty blonde bombshell who'll do anything she wants and I get a used up loli covered in God knows what!"
"I am not a loli! And I am not used up!"
"Didn't you say you could only do that spell once a day?" Jecka says.
"Well yes but-"
"What kind of idiot only does magic once a day?" Kazuma says while walking away, grumbling.
"Let's see you say that when you witness the destructive majesty of Explosion!"
Meanwhile, after getting Darkness a collar, Nicole walks with her in town.
"I forgot to ask, but when does the party take another quest?"
"Probably tomorrow; shouldn't be hard with you as a meat shield." Nicole says and Darkness squirms before recovering herself.
"I am a little worried…defending 4 people might be difficult. I cannot imagine that man is a frontline class."
"4? What do you mean 4? It's just me, Jecka, and you."
"I thought the young man and girl covered in fluids were part of the party? That was why I tried to sell myself so hard earlier…most parties typically keep to a size of 4."
"Fuck no!"
"Surprising…I was kind of curious how terrible a person he was~." Darkness says before being pulled by Nicole.
"Oh you don't have to worry about that…I'll be all the horror you need."
Any other person would have fled at that tone, especially as they climbed the stairs to her room…more so when Nicole pulled out a dozen razor blades.
But Darkness merely panted in anticipation.
===
Jecka opens the door to the room carrying a few fliers.
"Nicole you here? I got a few-"
"How the Hell do your abs dull blades?!" Nicole asks with a dozen rounded razors on the floor. Darkness looks to the ground, twiddling her thumbs.
"I…have a very high defense stat…"
"…The fuck is going on here?" Jecka asks.
"My bimbo pet here thought we were in a party with cock-whatever his name is, so I took her here to get him out of her mind, but her and her rock hard manly muscles dulled every single razor!"
"I don't have manly muscles!"
"That's the part you're not ok with?" Nicole asks.
"Wait, all of them?!" Jecka asks.
"Yes! I don't know what kind of steroids she uses but-"
"But nothing Nicole, what the fuck are we gonna use to shave with now?!"
"I have a few spare knives I can lend if you-"
"No one was talking to you!" Nicole says before backhanding Darkness before clutching her hand.
"Fuuuck, what is your face made of!? This is almost as bad as being shot!"
"…I have very high defense stats…"
"I wonder if those toads would spit her out if they ate her?" Jecka asks absentmindedly.
"Let's find out!" Darkness says with a smile, heading to the door, stopping as a rip appears in the air.
"Oh, Blue Bitch again?" Nicole says before a red haired woman steps out of it, the air starts to become muggy as she stands in the room,
"I am Pyra, Goddess of flame, arbiter of the departed in another world, and the final sight for countless damned. Which of you little heathens are Nicole and Jecka?"
A Sociopath on This World 7
New
Davos
laxing0@gmail
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2023
- Messages
- 242
- Likes received
- 5,640
"Don't you think it's a little odd calling us heathens when we're here to kill the Demon King? And can you turn off the heat?" Nicole asks while fanning herself.
"Wait, that is your goal!?" Darkness asks with a smile. Jecka looks at her askance.
"Your purpose in being here is not why I branded you as heathens. Earlier today you used my magic to such a degree that I had to be healed by that gaudy Goddess of water."
"Are you seriously bad mouthing me five minutes after fixing your arm you arson loving twit?!" Aqua asks from the rip in the air.
"Shouldn't you be getting drunk?" Pyra asks and the sound of a wine cork being pulled off is Aqua's response.
"Trouble in paradise?" Nicole asks, making Pyra squint at her.
"Next time you can unfurl your arm on your own!" Aqua shouts before a cork flies out the tear onto Pyra's head, caught in her hair before it brightens a moment and incinerates the cork. Darkness smiles.
"How can you be so- Never mind; I'll be sure to seek reprisal after correcting your mistake today~." Pyra says before turning towards Jecka.
"Why are you looking at me? I don't have the power that hurts Gods."
"I know, but you did steal another power."
"I did?"
"Lying will not save you." Pyra says, making a motion to crack her knuckles but stopping when she looks at her left hand, a shiver running through her despite the heat in the room.
"I'm not lying bitch." Jecka says while opening a window and breathing in fresh, cooler air before lighting up a cigarette.
"You dare disparage the Goddess of flame?"
"I mean, blue bitch isn't that bright and she called you a twit…Doesn't paint the best picture." Nicole says, standing by the open window as the temperature ramps up another degree.
"Stop calling me that!" Aqua says after taking a swig.
"Your real name is forgettable." Nicole says making Aqua gasp before throwing an empty bottle through the rift towards Nicole, missing, and flying through the window. A pained yell rings out.
"Who dares threaten the brain of the genius wizard of the Crimson Demons!"
"Stop proclaiming everything! People are looking at us…" Kazuma mutters at Megumin.
"Nice shot. Have you considered going pro?" Jecka asks.
"Enough. You will relinquish your stolen second ability, or be burned on the spot."
"I don't even know what this second power is, you butch biker rip off!!" Jecka says.
"…Does Heaven have biker lesbians? That would be awesome…" Nicole thinks.
"You claim to not know it, yet you have been consistently using it to manufacture items from your world!"
"I have?" Jecka asks and Pyra gestures to the cigarette in Jecka's hand.
"Wait, you have an infinite cigarette maker?!" Nicole asks.
"I do?!" Jecka asks.
"…Of everything you could make with this, you only made cigarettes?"
"I think she made percocet too." Nicole says.
"Wait, I could make anything?" Jecka asks.
"Yes how do you-"
"L-lady Pyra!" Eris says from the rip.
"Yes Eris?"
"…Eris? As in…" Darkness mutters in shock.
"She…didn't actually steal it. I looked over the recording and found out the paper for second power was stuck to her chosen power…" Eris says and Pyra looks flatly at the rip with an open mouth.
"You blue idiot…" Pyra says, making another bottle fly through the room and the open window, and another scream rings out.
"Ow!…who throws bottles in- Oh a high end brand! And unopened! My store is saved this month! I might even be able to have a real meal!" A brown haired woman in a robe says before happily running down the street, one hand rubbing her head.
Pyra sighs.
"My…apologies for accusing you of that; But there is still the matter of you abusing that power Nicole, not to mention the fact you must relinquish this accidental third-"
"Counter offer." Nicole says and Pyra groans in shock. Eris cups her head in the Heavenly realm and Aqua takes another long swig.
"You are in no position to negotiate."
"I think otherwise. You don't like me using this power right?"
"Yes, I would think even you could understand that, with what remains of your brain that was not destroyed by those opiates~." Pyra says as Nicole steps closer.
"And half the reason I use it is annoyance with the Gods. Now those same Gods are here, taking away my infinite drug source, and by extension, forcing me into shitty fantasy themed rehab. Do I need to say how annoying that is~?" Nicole says, still grinning even as Pyra's hair turn into living flame.
"Are you threatening me? Are you threatening a Goddess while wearing a pentagram shirt?!"
"No, I'm asking to join your cult, convert me bitch."
"I will burn this room and everyone-hgn!?" Pyra is lifted off the floor in a bear hug from Darkness.
"Foolish mortal sow!"
"Ugg…"
"I will melt you until your bones are liquid!"
"Yes~!"
"…What did you say?" Pyra asks, still in her grasp.
"She's doing it again…" Jecka and Eris say the same time.
"Burn me like a slab of skewered mat over a raging fire~."
"You're not…supposed to ask me that…and most people should be letting me go when I have this much heat…"
"I have high heat resistances~."
"Let go of me…"
"Never~."
"Then I will-"
"I will not let you hurt one of my followers…even if she should not be doing this…" Eris says and Darkness has a moment of indecision, until a renewed heat emanates from Pyra, making her hold on tighter to the Goddess.
"Plus you're currently weaker when you visit that realm, so her resistances might be enough to survive you." Aqua says.
"Wow…a Goddess who can't kill a righteous, if perverted knight~?" Nicole asks with a smug grin as Pyra tries to worm away from Darkness.
"Let go of me!"
"Never! I will hang on even as my flesh is charred, fused to my armor like a- Oh Gods~."
"At least stop moaning!"
"Tell you what, fire cracker, I'll get my toy to let you go if you agree to a deal~."
"What possible deal would I even agree to with the likes of-."
"It involves Jecka giving up that power to make infinite fixes for us."
"What?!" Jecka glares at Nicole.
"…What's the catch?" Pyra asks.
"She gets it instead." Nicole points to Darkness.
"…You really are insane."
"With some conditions, she can only make things we approve, like cigarettes and percocet."
"I have no idea what percocet is…" Darkness says.
"…Maybe give us a day to teach her? Or limited ability to hijack it from her to show the item if we need to?" Nicole asks.
"Absolutely not! I will not have you turning my follower into a walking drug factory! You're just going to become drug dealers!" Eris says.
"No, that didn't work out so well last time. Was nearly arrested. Don't wanna think what this place will do if they catch me selling crack to pregnant women." Nicole says and Darkness arches her back before falling onto the ground, carrying Pyra with her.
"So deplorable~."
"Ow ow ow, how is her grip getting tighter!?" Pyra says before glowing brighter, nearly blinding Jecka and Nicole as a new wave of heat stifles their breathing, making them step back. When the light fades, they look over and see Pyra looking distraught while still held by a panting Darkness.
Nicole walks over with a cigarette in hand pushs it against Pyra's hair to light it up and take a drag before speaking.
"So…would you rather I be bored and abuse Gods with this broken in wall at my disposal-"
"Hng~."
"Or for me to have a little fun on my way to curb stomp that guy?" Nicole asks before blowing a stream of smoke in Pyra's face, her eyes twitching in suppressed rage.
Back in the Heavenly realm, Aqua is emptying another bottle and Pyra is walking in a circle, muttering curses as Eris watches the screen in horror.
Nicole has a bottle of percocet in hand and gives Darkness a pill.
"Don't want you overdosing so just one for now." Nicole says and Eris has to make the screen vanish.
"…My seniors are terrible." Eris thinks while glancing at the drunken Aqua and traumatized Pyra.
"Wait, that is your goal!?" Darkness asks with a smile. Jecka looks at her askance.
"Your purpose in being here is not why I branded you as heathens. Earlier today you used my magic to such a degree that I had to be healed by that gaudy Goddess of water."
"Are you seriously bad mouthing me five minutes after fixing your arm you arson loving twit?!" Aqua asks from the rip in the air.
"Shouldn't you be getting drunk?" Pyra asks and the sound of a wine cork being pulled off is Aqua's response.
"Trouble in paradise?" Nicole asks, making Pyra squint at her.
"Next time you can unfurl your arm on your own!" Aqua shouts before a cork flies out the tear onto Pyra's head, caught in her hair before it brightens a moment and incinerates the cork. Darkness smiles.
"How can you be so- Never mind; I'll be sure to seek reprisal after correcting your mistake today~." Pyra says before turning towards Jecka.
"Why are you looking at me? I don't have the power that hurts Gods."
"I know, but you did steal another power."
"I did?"
"Lying will not save you." Pyra says, making a motion to crack her knuckles but stopping when she looks at her left hand, a shiver running through her despite the heat in the room.
"I'm not lying bitch." Jecka says while opening a window and breathing in fresh, cooler air before lighting up a cigarette.
"You dare disparage the Goddess of flame?"
"I mean, blue bitch isn't that bright and she called you a twit…Doesn't paint the best picture." Nicole says, standing by the open window as the temperature ramps up another degree.
"Stop calling me that!" Aqua says after taking a swig.
"Your real name is forgettable." Nicole says making Aqua gasp before throwing an empty bottle through the rift towards Nicole, missing, and flying through the window. A pained yell rings out.
"Who dares threaten the brain of the genius wizard of the Crimson Demons!"
"Stop proclaiming everything! People are looking at us…" Kazuma mutters at Megumin.
"Nice shot. Have you considered going pro?" Jecka asks.
"Enough. You will relinquish your stolen second ability, or be burned on the spot."
"I don't even know what this second power is, you butch biker rip off!!" Jecka says.
"…Does Heaven have biker lesbians? That would be awesome…" Nicole thinks.
"You claim to not know it, yet you have been consistently using it to manufacture items from your world!"
"I have?" Jecka asks and Pyra gestures to the cigarette in Jecka's hand.
"Wait, you have an infinite cigarette maker?!" Nicole asks.
"I do?!" Jecka asks.
"…Of everything you could make with this, you only made cigarettes?"
"I think she made percocet too." Nicole says.
"Wait, I could make anything?" Jecka asks.
"Yes how do you-"
"L-lady Pyra!" Eris says from the rip.
"Yes Eris?"
"…Eris? As in…" Darkness mutters in shock.
"She…didn't actually steal it. I looked over the recording and found out the paper for second power was stuck to her chosen power…" Eris says and Pyra looks flatly at the rip with an open mouth.
"You blue idiot…" Pyra says, making another bottle fly through the room and the open window, and another scream rings out.
"Ow!…who throws bottles in- Oh a high end brand! And unopened! My store is saved this month! I might even be able to have a real meal!" A brown haired woman in a robe says before happily running down the street, one hand rubbing her head.
Pyra sighs.
"My…apologies for accusing you of that; But there is still the matter of you abusing that power Nicole, not to mention the fact you must relinquish this accidental third-"
"Counter offer." Nicole says and Pyra groans in shock. Eris cups her head in the Heavenly realm and Aqua takes another long swig.
"You are in no position to negotiate."
"I think otherwise. You don't like me using this power right?"
"Yes, I would think even you could understand that, with what remains of your brain that was not destroyed by those opiates~." Pyra says as Nicole steps closer.
"And half the reason I use it is annoyance with the Gods. Now those same Gods are here, taking away my infinite drug source, and by extension, forcing me into shitty fantasy themed rehab. Do I need to say how annoying that is~?" Nicole says, still grinning even as Pyra's hair turn into living flame.
"Are you threatening me? Are you threatening a Goddess while wearing a pentagram shirt?!"
"No, I'm asking to join your cult, convert me bitch."
"I will burn this room and everyone-hgn!?" Pyra is lifted off the floor in a bear hug from Darkness.
"Foolish mortal sow!"
"Ugg…"
"I will melt you until your bones are liquid!"
"Yes~!"
"…What did you say?" Pyra asks, still in her grasp.
"She's doing it again…" Jecka and Eris say the same time.
"Burn me like a slab of skewered mat over a raging fire~."
"You're not…supposed to ask me that…and most people should be letting me go when I have this much heat…"
"I have high heat resistances~."
"Let go of me…"
"Never~."
"Then I will-"
"I will not let you hurt one of my followers…even if she should not be doing this…" Eris says and Darkness has a moment of indecision, until a renewed heat emanates from Pyra, making her hold on tighter to the Goddess.
"Plus you're currently weaker when you visit that realm, so her resistances might be enough to survive you." Aqua says.
"Wow…a Goddess who can't kill a righteous, if perverted knight~?" Nicole asks with a smug grin as Pyra tries to worm away from Darkness.
"Let go of me!"
"Never! I will hang on even as my flesh is charred, fused to my armor like a- Oh Gods~."
"At least stop moaning!"
"Tell you what, fire cracker, I'll get my toy to let you go if you agree to a deal~."
"What possible deal would I even agree to with the likes of-."
"It involves Jecka giving up that power to make infinite fixes for us."
"What?!" Jecka glares at Nicole.
"…What's the catch?" Pyra asks.
"She gets it instead." Nicole points to Darkness.
"…You really are insane."
"With some conditions, she can only make things we approve, like cigarettes and percocet."
"I have no idea what percocet is…" Darkness says.
"…Maybe give us a day to teach her? Or limited ability to hijack it from her to show the item if we need to?" Nicole asks.
"Absolutely not! I will not have you turning my follower into a walking drug factory! You're just going to become drug dealers!" Eris says.
"No, that didn't work out so well last time. Was nearly arrested. Don't wanna think what this place will do if they catch me selling crack to pregnant women." Nicole says and Darkness arches her back before falling onto the ground, carrying Pyra with her.
"So deplorable~."
"Ow ow ow, how is her grip getting tighter!?" Pyra says before glowing brighter, nearly blinding Jecka and Nicole as a new wave of heat stifles their breathing, making them step back. When the light fades, they look over and see Pyra looking distraught while still held by a panting Darkness.
Nicole walks over with a cigarette in hand pushs it against Pyra's hair to light it up and take a drag before speaking.
"So…would you rather I be bored and abuse Gods with this broken in wall at my disposal-"
"Hng~."
"Or for me to have a little fun on my way to curb stomp that guy?" Nicole asks before blowing a stream of smoke in Pyra's face, her eyes twitching in suppressed rage.
Back in the Heavenly realm, Aqua is emptying another bottle and Pyra is walking in a circle, muttering curses as Eris watches the screen in horror.
Nicole has a bottle of percocet in hand and gives Darkness a pill.
"Don't want you overdosing so just one for now." Nicole says and Eris has to make the screen vanish.
"…My seniors are terrible." Eris thinks while glancing at the drunken Aqua and traumatized Pyra.
Hellion
Getting sticky.
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Nicole trying to reenact Metamorphosis on Darkness at the end there. Ganbate!! (I don't know who I'm cheering for in this situation- both of them are into the corruption angle, but Darkness' innate resistances might make Nicole's efforts be in vain)
Davos
laxing0@gmail
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Wait...Metamorphosis by Kafka?
Manfacepersonthing
Getting out there.
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No, worse, by ShindoL.
Davos
laxing0@gmail
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Thank you for answering.
Faber_The_Builder
Muchkin of Megastructures
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This is some absolutely based cooking, tbh you really can´t go wrong with writing a crackfic by using Class of ´09.
TFC!
TFC!
Davos
laxing0@gmail
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Thank you.
Davos
laxing0@gmail
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Thank you...I think? Today is the first time I came across the word 'crackfic' and found out there's a fic where Goku fights Super Sayian Hitler.
Blundo
Versed in the lewd.
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"A work of fan fiction that is conceptually absurd, surprising or ridiculous, often intentionally" is basically what I mean.
The lines can be blurry but I think "Hey what if we threw the ridiculously toxic late-00s teenage girl characters from a black comedy VN into Konosuba and had them bully gods for percocet?" easily qualifies. It's not an inherently bad or good thing, all comes down to execution. I was just saying that even though this isn't a particularly "serious" fic, I think it does some genuinely interesting stuff by exploring the idea of "Isekai protagonist who is a piece of shit, but not in the standard otaku sexcriminal or edgy-revenge-guy or both way."
tl;dr in this context it was a compliment
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Davos
laxing0@gmail
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I suspect I was overthinking since I haven't heard the term before. Thanks for taking the time to explain.