October 12th 2023 AD (450 AD Post "Event" Calendar)
"Come on, hurry up!" That's all Dylan...
"Come on, hurry up!" That's all Dylan...
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User | Total |
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MendicantBias219 | 2 |
through his rifle's scope was that blonde gir slaying the werewolves
Any thoughts or suggestions about the general plot? This was just a small piece to see what people think of the idea.
Thanks for the corrections. Honestly English isn't my first language, so I think there would be some mistakes here and there.Gas*
Needs a space bteween the "," and the word "armed".
girl*
5.56 mm bullet*
rise*
Hell*
You need to capitalize the first word in the dialogs.
You should also keep the paragraphs under 5 lines so it is not just a big wall of text.
Thanks for the corrections. Honestly English isn't my first language, so I think there would be some mistakes here and there.
Do you have any thoughts of the story and plot? I posted this small chapter here to see what people think of the idea to develop it further later on.
Well, he is in a Texan ranch, this guy and his family were well stocked with ammo and weapons and he would have the necessary tools to make more ammo, but it will be a slow process.He would die when he schoot his las bullet,unless blondie decide to save him.
He'll have a lot of useful knowledge about agriculture and, since he was transported wit his ranch and this one is one of those big houses, he'll have a big library with a lot of useful information. Also, the seeds and plants he has are the ones of The 21st century which have been adapted over the centuries to be more nutritious and have a greater resistance to plagues, so they would be very useful for the people of the British islands.Changes - bigger would be 4 crop rotation and patatoes.It would be nice if he manage to mass produce good steel or blackpowder,but - not as important as new plants.
Well,knew for old Britain.
Fuel should be no problem,if he knew how to made biodiesel.And,with entire farm and library,if he do not die he could keep 1900 level technology.Well, he is in a Texan ranch, this guy and his family were well stocked with ammo and weapons and he would have the necessary tools to make more ammo, but it will be a slow process.
Also, he will meet Artoria and befriend her, if it wasn't clear she was the blonde he helped against the werewolves, before working the complete story I might as well write another chapter with their first interaction right after this one.
He'll have a lot of useful knowledge about agriculture and, since he was transported wit his ranch and this one is one of those big houses, he'll have a big library with a lot of useful information. Also, the seeds and plants he has are the ones of The 21st century which have been adapted over the centuries to be more nutritious and have a greater resistance to plagues, so they would be very useful for the people of the British islands.
He won't be Garu Dtu though. He knows hot to plant with his equipment and more experience people, and he has lost the people and the fuel for the vehicles won't last forever, he'll have to ration it. He'll have to learn how to adapt and overcome his new circumstances.
Thanks for your answering!
Do not lost hope yet! master Yoda feel lewd,i mean force,strong in this story!I was so excited to read a possible OC/SI x Artoria fic! Those kind of things are either rare or non-existent in the Fate fanfic fandom outside of the typical Shirou x Artoria pairings.
The lewds are going to be glorious!
But then I realized this was posted in the SFW section! oof
I mean, there may be romance down the line, since it isn't the main goal of the OC in the story, being more concerned in going back home and helping people along the way. I haven't decided yet but I've always enjoyed a well developed romance in the stories I've read and writing how the romance between people from two different times, so different that they may be aliens to one another, would develop would be really amazing.I was so excited to read a possible OC/SI x Artoria fic! Those kind of things are either rare or non-existent in the Fate fanfic fandom.
The lewds are going to be glorious!
How do I change that? It is my first thread in this page, I didn't realized I posted it as SFW.
True,i think that only suicidal idiot would try to get into Artoria pants after being send there.SI must survive,find allies/turning Artoria into ally is good idea/,try to return home,and,only if it become impossible become Artoria court Engineer.I mean, there may be romance down the line, since it isn't the main goal of the OC in the story, being more concerned in going back home and helping people along the way. I haven't decided yet but I've always enjoyed a well developed romance in the stories I've read and writing how the romance between people from two different areas, so different that they may be aliens to one another, would develop would be really amazing.
Then again, the romance would develop slowly. Imagine if you, along with your house, was suddenly transported to another world and one as dangerous as the Nasuverse, clapping cheeks would probably be in the last of your priorities.
How do I change that? It is my first thread in this page, I didn't realized I posted it as SFW.
So, I've updated the first chapter with your suggestions, using smaller paragraphs and correcting some of the grammatical errors.Gas*
Needs a space bteween the "," and the word "armed".
girl*
5.56 mm bullet*
rise*
Hell*
You need to capitalize the first word in the dialogs.
You should also keep the paragraphs under 5 lines so it is not just a big wall of text.
Take your time,but remember,you must decide from the start if Artoria would be waifu,best friend,or both.So, I've updated the first chapter with your suggestions, using smaller paragraphs and correcting some of the grammatical errors.
I'm still working on the second chapter before publishing the story. It's showing the OC contemplating the fact that he's been sent far from home and that it will be a while before he finds answers, but realizing that he can try to enjoy the few joyful moments in the Nasuverse, and the new friends he's made, while looking for a way home. But before this, I also want to share with you the summary I worked on for the story, so you can tell me what you think of it and if you guys think I could improve it in any way:
"After being away from home, in the pursuit of knowledge and a bright future, a young soul is finally able to go back home to rest, to the sprawling vistas and warm embrace of his homeland. Yet, in an unexpected and mysterious twist of fate, without warning, this young Texan will find himself and all that he held dear thrown through the fabric of time and space, into a known, yet entirely alien new era.
Finding himself lost in the sea of time between the palpable reality of his homeland and the arcane depths of a legendary past. Armed with nothing but his heritage, tools and an unyielding determination, see this lone cowboy navigate this uncharted territory on this new realm in the pursuit of answers and a way back home. Without realizing that his presence in this world will bring bigger changes than anyone could have anticipated."
Thanks for the comment!
That will be answered later on the story. As for now, this guy and his family workers are very well armed and have a lot of ammo stored, but they will have to address that problem at some point, I won't give them infinite ammo.
1.You are welcomeThanks for the comment!
That will be answered later on the story. As for now, this guy and his family workers are very well armed and have a lot of ammo stored, but they will have to address that problem at some point, I won't give them infinite ammo.
The problem with that idea is that Dylan and the farm's workers don't have rifles that old, the farm's armory mostly consist of modern weapons, so they really don't have a reason to build old ammo that won't be compatible with their arsenal. Also, remember that making new ammo will always be easier than making new rifles.2.If they could not mass prduce new ammo,then what about ammo for,let say,Spencer rifles from 19th century? it should be good enough for werwolfs.
P.S Since he saved Arturia,then now he must take responobility and become prince charming,i mean prince consort !
Pity..But,they have rifles like Winchester? ammo for them could be more easy to produce then for AR15.Could be,i am not sure.The problem with that idea is that Dylan and the farm's workers don't have rifles that old, the farm's armory mostly consist of modern weapons, so they really don't have a reason to build old ammo that won't be compatible with their arsenal. Also, remember that making new ammo will always be easier than making new rifles.
"I tried to be a good samaritan and somehow people tried to get me engaged, WTF!"
- Dylan Brlow