Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

[Alterego9]

Guys. I was making fun of one person's stupid pedantry by using stupid pedantry.

You know that every time someone has to explain a joke, God kills a kitten. I hear he eats them.

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His pedantry was only stupid as far as pedantry is inherently stupid, while yours was actually incorrect. Even if pegasus wouldn't be a common noun, proper nouns are pluralised all the time. The Americas, the Simpsons, the Eternal Empresses, etc.

 

[evildice]

There has never been multiple parallel characters, so a singular name works just fine.

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There's only one year at a time, so there's no need for a plural "years" either, right?

Since two things in a row are the same as one thing, according to you? And it's never useful to refer to more than one of them ever?

I was making fun of one person's stupid pedantry by using stupid pedantry.

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I'm totes down with mockification, but like, you need to be at least technically correct.

 

[Silvercrystal]

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Lurkers, Trolls, Mods, and Plebs alike. Shots have been fired at 'The verifffffieeeed Dick' grab your popcorn and soda, as we watch this latest bout of 'logic, reason, and the opinions of someone on the Internet VS the author of 'Amelia' TanaNari

 

[the DragonBard]

I apologize if I was being pedantic. It was meant as informative more than anything, as I didn't recall you using the term.

 

[TanaNari]

Amelia, Ch 282- Danny


It's strange being able to go out in the beginning of March without even a jacket. It's also strange when the landscape is dominated by blue-green and the ocean is nowhere to be seen. But that was the reality on Avalon, and my new home on it. Our children had more or less decided to create a small neighborhood consisting of nothing but their parents, and we were left to our own devices moving in. Not that we had much unpacking to do.


Temporary homes, at least officially, but care had gone into their creation. I couldn't help but notice my house was almost identical, floor plan wise, to my old home. The loss of the house wasn't such a big deal, but I also lost all my mementos of Annette. Our wedding album, all the pictures of her with Taylor. Her wedding ring that I'd meant to give to Taylor when the time came. Even her grave. All of that was gone, now. All our years of history reduced to nothing but memories. Memories, and Taylor. Annette would be so proud of her.


"Hello there, neighbor," a man offered a half wave. He was probably a bit older than me. Or, if not, then he was certainly in worse shape. Shorter than me, and on the heavier side. Unlike most of us refugees, however, he was clearly wearing his own clothes instead of the donated supplies. "I've seen you on the news a couple times. You're Khepri's dad, right? Mister Hebert?"


"Yes," I confirmed, walking over. We were neighbors, now, after all. I also may have been a little impressed that he got my name right on the first try. "Call me Danny." I offered my hand.


"Paul," he responded. Firm handshake, confident enough.


"So, umm, which one's yours?" I asked. "I mean, you shouldn't to tell me if it's a secret, of course."


"Dinah," he answered without hesitation. I froze up for a second. I'd heard a lot about Dinah over the last few months. Whenever I could talk Taylor out of details about her life with the Undersiders, that little girl was always a big part of the conversation. Taylor blaming herself for the kidnapping, even though that really didn't make sense. Worrying about how much pain she caused Dinah and her family. A driving part of her life during the... bad times.


Paul seemed to pick up on my concern, though not the reason. "Yeah, that means the mayor is my brother in law. Hope you don't hold that against me too much."


"Sorry about that," I meant it, too. "I'm just. Well, there's a lot to think about."


"About losing your home and everything in it? Or having your daughter provide you with a new one? Or being parent to a child whose life is so different from everything you know that you're beginning to worry that you'll never be able to relate to them again?" He asked.


I blinked for a second. "Uh. Yes. All of the above, actually," I admitted. "Guess you've been there, huh?"


"Yeah," the man's smile faltered for a second. "I imagine everyone in this neighborhood has."


"The Protectorate probably has some kind of policy for that," I responded.


"Bet you that you go in, sign a nondisclosure agreement, a college student talks to the class for an hour about stuff so obvious that you could have figured it out on your own, and then you go home with nothing more than a pamphlet."


"Sucker's bet," I replied. "Know what? I got an idea. How about we throw together a barbeque?"


"That's a great idea," Paul agreed. "Man, it's been forever since I had a good pig roast. Last year was nothing but a nightmare, and the year before... eh, you don't need to hear about all that."


"You're in luck," I told him. "My buddy Kurt is an expert at the barbecue, and he'll kick anyone's ass who suggests otherwise. He'd be happy to help, at the low low cost of him and his wife getting their share."


"Now you're talking," Paul smiled. "I'll pitch in some money for the pig and brewskies. Anna would throw a fit if we told her I had a hand in this, though, so we're just going to tell her it was all your idea and I just accepted to be polite."


"Is that gonna work?" I asked.


"She'll see through it before I finish the sentence," he admitted proudly.


"We'll have to figure out all the details later, though," I told him. "I was just going over to Sarah's house."


"The blond at the other end of the road?" Paul smiled. "I don't blame you for a second for taking her company over mine."


I made sure to give him a wave as I started again. The roads were actual, honest, roads. Some trick with the super plant of theirs that it grew a sort of resin, not entirely different from tree sap or, probably, more like scabs. It was gross to think about like that, but it did form a pretty good approximation of asphalt.


Sarah opened the door a bit before I even got there. "I was beginning to think I'd need to send out a search party," she teasingly chided me for being late.


"Think they were trying to send us a message with the seating arrangement?" I joked back. We were on opposite sides of the neighborhood. Between us were three different homes. I'd seen the other neighbors moving in, but other than Paul hadn't had a chance to talk to them. The obviously youngest parent was a Hispanic woman, who had her five year old son with her. And then another a man and woman, plus an older teen, seventeen at the very least. Notably absent from this small neighborhood of Pantheon parents were Amelia's and Emma's.


I was glad not to be on the same planet as Alan, however, so that was a definite plus. Mark was also to be expected, since he already moved. I wasn't sure about Carol, and resolved to ask.


Sarah turned and walked into the house, and I followed. Her house was similarly modeled after her old home, with the dining room connected to the front door. A couple glasses and a bottle of wine were sitting there already. Somehow, Sarah's house was on the literal edge of the Endbringer's power. Half of it was caught, and the other half collapsed after. But her pantry, and a couple cheap bottles of wine, had survived.


"Clearly, of all the lessons in life that our children excel at, they're still failing miserably at subtlety," Sarah agreed, chuckling a little. It was true, the kids were about as blatant as it was going to get.


"Ah, to be young again, and smashing through life's problems with all the finesse of a monster truck," I sighed, smiling. It was one of those things that Annette and I had in common, way back when. Part of why she joined Lustrum's crew, and why she left it.


"I'll drink to that," Sarah poured us both a glass, handing me one of them. I clinked my glass against hers.


"Hear, hear," I agreed, and took a swallow, but honestly I was more interested in watching her mouth as she drank hers.


She caught me looking, of course. "What's with you?" she smiled.


"Just admiring your beauty," I answered.


"Liar," she retorted. "I don't even have my makeup on."


"Makeup is for clowns," I insisted. "Natural is better."


She gave me a look that roughly translated to 'I don't believe you for a second, but please keep saying it'. Possibly the only phrase in womanese that I actually knew.


"So," I changed the subject for a moment. "I noticed your sister doesn't have a home here."


"She's moved to Philly. In part to be with Vicky," Sarah informed me. "But really, she has big plans for representing the interests of the Case 53s. Something about PRT corruption in selecting cases based upon usefulness and likelihood to join the Protectorate, instead of the ones that need it the most."


"That's..." I sighed. "I was sorta trying to forget the ugly stuff today."


"If it makes you feel better," Sarah offered. "Words like 'slam dunk case' and 'heads are going to roll' were used a lot when she was talking to me about it. That's Carol for you. Give her a cause, and she's a force of nature. Next time we see her she'll be bragging about all the precedents she's set and how she taught the incompetent bureaucrats a lesson. Full on insufferable mode."


"I don't envy them in the slightest," I chuckled. One of Carol's more endearing features was her contempt for all things government. It had taken her a while to even tolerate my presence, and I wasn't sure she'd ever move beyond mere tolerance. She seemed more than a little resentful over me dating her sister, especially so soon after Neil's death.


She also seemed to blame Taylor for Amelia's acts of rebellion, and no matter how much good the pair of them achieved together, I doubted that would ever change. Oh well, if we Heberts were good at anything, it was telling the in-laws to go to hell.


So, really, I wasn't bothered by Carol's issues. As much as I never would have expected it, Taylor was happily in love with a wonderful young woman and they were busy creating a home for themselves. And however many more billion people they could fit on it. That was something I could take comfort in, no matter what. As for myself, well, life had its problems, but it had bright spots as well. I reached over and gently caressed Sarah's face. Case in point.


"Oh, I see how it is," she smiled mischievously. "Lure me inside, ply me with alcohol, and have your wicked way with me."


"But you're the one who invited me over to your house for a drink," I pointed out.


"You caught me," she admitted, leaning in. "Did it work?"


I kissed her.


============


A/N- Meanwhile, in Taylor's subconscious, there is only suffering.

That's why she's still a virgin. Trauma. Lots and lots of trauma.

 

[AyiosKat]

Part of why she joined Lustrom's Lustrum's crew, and why she left it.

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[Alterego9]

It's also strange when the color is dominated by blue-green and the ocean is nowhere to be seen.

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This wording is strange.

 

[Cyclone]

I was glad not to be on the same planet as Alan, however, so that was a definite plus. Mark was also to be expected, since he already moved. I wasn't sure about Carol, and resolved to ask.

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[Coruscant Knave]

I am now dubbing the parent's housing area the Parent Trap.

Wonder how Trevor feels about his family being used as filler? Or even rating the Parent Trap at all, considering his only surfaced thoughts on his mother. Or am I super racist and assuming he's the only Hispanic on the team?

Sticking Dinah's parents next to Danny and Sarah on the opposite end is ridiculously obvious. In a way that makes me think Taylia wanted to do it, but thought better of it and asked LIsa for advice. Who gave them a long, extremely convincing explanation for why it was a good idea anyway. They knew she was trolling, but went with it anyway.

Carol fighting the good fight for the poor, downtrodden 53's that her daughter has a hand in selecting amuses me greatly. I imagine this was all part of the plan, and am fairly certain it was even mentioned in-story but can't be assed to double check.

Man, I really want a confrontation between Allan and Danny.

Danny: No, Allen, I do not forgive you. I'd forgive Wendigo first.

Allen: But... but! Your daughter forgave ours!

Danny: Yes. She made mistakes, came to terms with it, and is changing for the better. All without your help. It was your job to catch her when she fell. Then, instead of helping pick her back up after the fact, you doubled down and turned on us.

 

[TanaNari]

This wording is strange.

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I'm open to better phrasing?

I am now dubbing the parent's housing area the Parent Trap.

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Very well.

Wonder how Trevor feels about his family being used as filler?

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Probably about the same as Missy does: ambivalent.

Or am I super racist and assuming he's the only Hispanic on the team?

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He's one of exactly two characters in the story who are 1- on speaking terms with their parents, 2- have parents in Brockton Bay at all, and 3- don't have well defined (or often even named) parental details.

And the other's Missy.

I imagine this was all part of the plan, and am fairly certain it was even mentioned in-story but can't be assed to double check.

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Lisa's most recent chapter.

Man, I really want a confrontation between Allan and Danny.

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Probably won't happen. Kinda wish it would, though. Or, even better, hand him over to Lisa.

 

[Daunmi]

You know, I thought Danny was a pointless character in canon Worm. You've done a remarkably good job of making pretty much all of the parents irrelevant in the grand scheme of things! Mind you, it's kind of unavoidable since there's not a single person on earth who counts for much against Scion but, still, having all their children basically lording over a planet puts pretty much any 'bread winning' to shame, not to mention the Endkillers.

Probably won't happen.

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Well, at least that's not stringing us along talking about maybe doing a chapter for a character everyone loves to hate, like with Sophia. Like ripping off a bandaid!

Wait... that's not stringing us along about something!

You feeling alright?

 

[Coruscant Knave]

I'm open to better phrasing?

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I think it works fine as is, but replacing the word color with view/vista/scenery/landscape might help whatever the issue is.

 

[Izicata]

That's why she's still a virgin. Trauma. Lots and lots of trauma.

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I'll be totally honest, I thought that was because Amy is too much of a prude to grow herself a puppet body with a donger.

 

[GiftofLove]

"Yeah," the man's smile faultered for a second. "I imagine everyone in this neighborhood has."

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Faltered.

 

[tordg]

Gross too think about like that,

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"Gross to think about like that", or perhaps 'too gross to think about like that'.

The roads were actual, honest, roads.

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Yay?

I blinked for a second. "Uh. Yes. All of the above, actually," I admitted. "Guess you've been there, huh?"

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I'm sad that this friendship will be so short lived. I feel like everyone involved could use it.

 

[pepperjack]

"Here, here,"

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Augh. You probably really don't care, but I am super-certain this should be "hear, hear."

This bothers me disproportionately. Of my many irrationalities, this is but one.

 

[cosoco]

Gross too think about like that,

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"Gross to think about like that", or perhaps 'too gross to think about like that'.

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Better: "Gross to think about it like that," or "Too gross to think about it like that."

And however many more billion people they could fit on it.

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Confirmed - Danny wants Taylia to have billions of children.

Ah, the crushing ennui. That's the problem with being the Culture.

Something I just thought of - who controls the orbital railgun above Avalon? Seems like the Avalonian military should keep the command codes, but it seems like Pantheon hasn't given it to them.

 

[Snake/Eater]

Something I just thought of - who controls the orbital railgun above Avalon? Seems like the Avalonian military should keep the command codes, but it seems like Pantheon hasn't given it to them.

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I prefer calling it the Avalonic military,it sounds more imperial. and the Avalonic united government has no say over the military.the royal family have control of it.

 

[Helpless Kitten]

Reposted from the NSFW ideas thread

"Good news, everyone!" Emma declared with a grand wave at a strange device at her side. It looked a bit like a TV that was cutting edge 60 years ago. "I have created something marvelous!"

"Emma," Lisa said, "I'm afraid that someone beat you to the punch on this particular invention. If you want, we can go to a RadioShack and get you caught up on modern tech."

"Fuck you too, Lisa."

"Girls, girls!" Napp- I mean Zach made to placate the two. "Only if I get to watch."

Lisa glared at Emma. "You set that up on purpose." She accused.

Lily snorted in amusement. "Did you need your power to figure that out? They've been doing that ever since they started dating."

"Your sickeningly cute couple activities are supposed to be things like wearing matching, terrible outfits, not setting up terrible jokes." Lisa whined.

"Does that mean you and Alexandria are going to show up to the next Endbringer fight in tacky sweaters?" Riley chimed in innocently.

Lisa placed her forehead in her hands. "Can you just explain the damn machine already?"

"Well," Victoria started, "You interrupted her, so this is all your fault."

Lisa huffed in exasperation. "Is it pick on Lisa day and no one told me?"

"Oh! I want in on that!" Missy exclaimed from her place on a very embarrassed Theo's lap. "The real reason you were a villain was that the government misread the 'u' as an 'o' and tried to shut you down for producing too much smog."

Sabah threw in her two cents. "The PRT uprated Hellhound's power because they thought that she made you from nothing. There was a collective sigh of relief when they realized her power was to make bitches massive, not to make massive bitches."

"Um... That Alexandria thinks of you as a friend makes me question my previous hero worship of her?" Everyone stared at Taylor. She fidgeted self-consciously at the attention. "What?"

"Taylor being adorkable aside, this is the 'What If Machine'! You ask it a what if question and it answers you! Or it should, anyways. Whenever I ask it about a scenario where I'm present, all that shows up is a dark room, what looks like a toppled chair and the sound of a rope creaking." Everyone in the room stiffened in horror. "Not sure what that means, so I thought you guys might have some ideas for questions to ask."

The mood lightened as people began to contemplate which questions to ask. Finally, someone spoke up.

"I have a question..."
----------------------------------------
A possible beginning for the futurama style what if omake for Amelia. Feel free to use it if you want. Title should be 'What if: Start'.

edit: fixed the wall of text

 

[Daunmi]

I'll be totally honest, I thought that was because Amy is too much of a prude to grow herself a puppet body with a donger.

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A possible beginning for the futurama style what if omake for Amelia. Feel free to use it if you want. Title should be 'What if: Start'.

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I am now imagining a gag (get your mind out of the gutter) short of this, where we have Amy asking the question, thinking the machine will give a simple answer and show the absolute end result of the question, only to have it start playing as we know it would, then having Taylor and Amy desperately trying to get everyone to leave/cover their eyes in a massive panic because they can't get the What If machine to turn off.

Riley takes it all as scientific studies and completely misses the point, everyone else is laughing their asses off.

It's moments like this I wish I could write...

 

[ECCM]

'What if Pantheon was never formed?'

One Week Later

"Well, that sucked."

 

[Daunmi]

Hang on... wouldn't the What If machine be able to be used a bit like PtV? Instead of 'path to' you've got 'path if'.

Does this mean one of the entities ate up the Futurama universe, and worked PtV out off Professor Farnsworth's machine? No wonder why Tinkertech can't be understood, if some of it comes from him!

Dragon: "Good news everyone! I've managed to work out how to travel faster then light, so even if we can't manage to defeat Scion, we can escape from him!"
Everyone else: "Really? I thought FTL travel was impossible..."
Dragon: "Well, typically it would be, but I realized that the trick isn't to get us to move faster than light, but to hold ourselves in one spot and move the universe around us!"

 

[Snake/Eater]

i'm really glad Finally to see omakes on Amelia,i'm hoping to see more.

 

[Ack]

First: D'awwwwww.

Danny was well done, and the chat with Sarah was sweet (also, I totally saw where that was leading to).

The omake puzzled me a little, with Missy's joke:

"The real reason you were a villain was that the government misread the 'u' as an 'o' and tried to shut you down for producing to much smog."

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I must be slow today, but I can't make that joke work.

Though Sabah's was nothing but BURN.

 

[tEN]

Smug/smog.

 

[Helpless Kitten]

You're the second person to be confused about that joke, Ack . So apparently I'm just really obtuse...

 

[gatewaewanderer]

The to / too typo probably doesn't help.

"Oh! I want in on that!" Missy exclaimed from her place on a very embarrassed Theo's lap. "The real reason you were a villain was that the government misread the 'u' as an 'o' and tried to shut you down for producing to much smog."

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Other than that, maybe just not finding the smug / smog joke funny?

 

[Ack]

Smug/smog.

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Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
I was thinking "Ondersiders? Lisa Wilbuurn?" Did not compute.

 

[Coruscant Knave]

You're the second person to be confused about that joke, Ack . So apparently I'm just really obtuse...

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It just takes the long way around getting to the punch line.

Now, Taylor's jab was weirdly personal given the mood. Nothing compared to Emma's issue with the machine, though...

 

[TanaNari]

You're the second person to be confused about that joke, Ack . So apparently I'm just really obtuse...

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I got it immediately.

Then again, I like it when reading makes me think, so I'm accustomed to using my brain for these things.