Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

[Peanuckle]

I shook my head. "Oh how I wish. I might even be able to ignore that. Long enough to, umm, enjoy myself." EmbarrassedWistfulSadness. "My power doesn't come with an off switch. When I touch someone, I have no choice but to understand their inner workings. It's why I wear gloves."

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Lisa: "Feel my pain. FEEL MY PAIN!"

 

[GiftofLove]

Lisa: "Feel my pain. FEEL MY PAIN!"

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"Hands!"

 

[Ack]

Also, I don't recall her getting intimate with Vicky at all in canon; Vicky immediately freaked out and wouldn't let her fix it. I guess it wouldn't be the first major bit of info I've forgotten from canon, though.

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It's not explicitly spelled out, but in the time between Amy taking Vicky away injured and in Carol's interlude when she finds Amy with the horribly deformed Vicky, the very strong inference is that she did what Jack Slash told her, which was to indulge herself with Vicky-as-compliant-partner, before rebuilding her.

Oh, and I think the unspoken motivation is "holy shit please don't do the same thing you did before which led you to kill yourself, even if it might go differently this time."

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What, "Listen to Lisa"?

 

[GiftofLove]

It's not explicitly spelled out, but in the time between Amy taking Vicky away injured and in Carol's interlude when she finds Amy with the horribly deformed Vicky, the very strong inference is that she did what Jack Slash told her, which was to indulge herself with Vicky-as-compliant-partner, before rebuilding her.

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I don't think so. I recall her being in a flesh coffin the entire time while Amy tried and failed horribly to rebuild her body while waffling on her brain.

 

[dasstan]

It's not explicitly spelled out, but in the time between Amy taking Vicky away injured and in Carol's interlude when she finds Amy with the horribly deformed Vicky, the very strong inference is that she did what Jack Slash told her, which was to indulge herself with Vicky-as-compliant-partner, before rebuilding her.

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I think you might just have your sex goggles on. My recollection of it is right along the lines of GiftofLove's. And then we ended up with Swanbomination!Victoria.

 

[namelis]

The way I see it they are going about this naturally developed attraction thing the wrong way rather than Taylor constantly teasing Amelia with eye candy Amelia needs to be constantly teasing Taylor with physical things like sometimes when they cuddle Amelia needs to feel Taylor up or suddenly kissing Taylors neck lots of little things like that where Amelia might stop right away cause Taylor doesn't react positively but if she keeps trying with her attempts sometimes grouped together and outher times long gaps with nothing Taylor is likely to eventually start anticipating them expecially if some of these attempts involved bringing Taylor nearly to or past orgasim threw clothing there is lots of little things that Amelia could do to build desire or even just curiosity in Taylor for example Taylor could tell Amelia that once a day when they get some alone time she wants to hear one of Amelia's fantasies in graphic detail in the hope that something sounds interesting enough to make Taylor want to try it at the vary least hearing them might get Taylor to develop some fantasies of her own

 

[GiftofLove]

"I didn't want her to fight. And I didn't want her to follow, or to hate me because I used my power on her again."
Again?
"So I thought I'd put her in a trance, and make it so she'd forget everything that happened. Everything that I did, and the things that the Slaughterhouse Nine said, and everything that I said to try to make them go away. Empty promises and-"
Her voice hitched.
"What happened?" Brandish asked, for the Nth time.
"She was lying there, and I wanted to say goodbye. I- I-"
So

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"I wanted to see her smile again. To have someone hug me before I left forever. So you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. I- I told myself I'd leave after. Victoria wouldn't remember. It would be a way for me to get closure. Then I'd go and spend the rest of my life healing people. Sacrifice my life. I don't know. As payment."
Lady Photon had made her way upstairs. She entered the room and stopped just in front of Brandish. Her hands went to her mouth. Her words were a whispered, "Oh God."
Amy kept talking, her voice strangely monotone after her earlier emotion, as if she were a recording. Maybe she was, after a fashion, all of the excuses and arguments she'd planned spilling from her mouth. "I wanted her to be happy. I could adjust. Tweak, expand, change things to serve more than one purpose. I had the extra material from the cocoon. When I was done, I started undoing everything, all the mental and physical changes. I got so tired, and so scared, so lonely, so I thought we'd take another break, before I was completely finished. I changed more things. More stuff I had to fix. And days passed. I-"
Brandish clenched her fists.
"I lost track. I forgot how to change her back."

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I think you might have just had your sex goggles on, though I can kind of see it if I squint.

 

[hellgodsrus]

Ugh.

Honestly TanaNari one of the hardest things to stomach about your work is your characters' idiotic views of the self. First there was Lisa's accumulated bullshit, and now this, which is pretty much dumb and I'm not even entirely sure it makes sense (and that's on top of my issues with the whole 'Taylor is super straight' thing, cause no-one is that defined in their preferences - I'm gayer than Marlene freakin Dietrich but I still get the odd crush on guys).

 

[Leonidas333]

Ugh.

Honestly TanaNari one of the hardest things to stomach about your work is your characters' idiotic views of the self. First there was Lisa's accumulated bullshit, and now this, which is pretty much dumb and I'm not even entirely sure it makes sense (and that's on top of my issues with the whole 'Taylor is super straight' thing, cause no-one is that defined in their preferences - I'm gayer than Marlene freakin Dietrich but I still get the odd crush on guys).

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Eh, I've got a friend who is completely and utterly straight as far as I can tell (which sucks because I had a crush on him for a bit). It all goes into what sexuality is, and how our minds and upbringings affect it. I for instance believe that if there was no homophobia, a lot more people would be Bi or gay, simply because they would not have the subconscious mental pressure pushing down on them. Since we don't know enough about orientation to say, I think its plausible. It may be that she is just on the very edge of the scale of straight to gay. She could simply be an outlier.

 

[Ack]

I think you might have just had your sex goggles on, though I can kind of see it if I squint.

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Okay, this is Worm as written by Wildbow. Would Amy have stopped short, if indulging herself fully would have given her more mental trauma, later? (Birdcage, people).

Also, and most notably - in all the time Amy had Vicky to herself, she never once removed the brain adjustment that made Vicky love her. If it was so distasteful, that's the first thing that she would have fixed.

 

[Ack]

Ugh.

Honestly TanaNari one of the hardest things to stomach about your work is your characters' idiotic views of the self. First there was Lisa's accumulated bullshit, and now this, which is pretty much dumb and I'm not even entirely sure it makes sense (and that's on top of my issues with the whole 'Taylor is super straight' thing, cause no-one is that defined in their preferences - I'm gayer than Marlene freakin Dietrich but I still get the odd crush on guys).

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In Recoil, people have trouble believing that Taylor is straight, just because she has a girlfriend with whom she (very) occasionally sleeps. It's just that, well, Taylor loves Andrea (in a non-sexual way) and Andrea is very persistent and very persuasive. And she knows which buttons to press.

 

[meta_halo]

House dust is about 40% dead human debris- mostly in the form of hair and skin. And 40% dead bug debris and/or the feces of bugs. And about 20% stuff that's still actually alive. Like plant sperm. And bugs that eat the dead human debris and make feces.

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Fun Facts
The average person swallows eight spiders per year while they sleep.*

The average person who really pisses Taylor off swallows (and inhales) 80 spiders per second.

Zach swallows an average of eight grasshoppers per week.

Amelia eats an average of eight feet of Taylor's hair per year while she sleeps.


* not really

 

[doomlord9]

I think I see the problem. The brainmods are artificial, something sewn into their grey matter to alter what it does and this is extremely obvious since it doesn't match the surroundings.

The answer if they REALLY wanted a solution is beyond simple. Pavlovian training.

Give Taylor an implant, a fully mechanical one if it bothers Amy to see an organic one, that will give Taylor mild feelings of arousal when she looks at Amy.

This is a solution because the resulting reactions are absolutely natural, they're only adjusting the stimulus and Taylor's response but the end result will be her brain adjusting to said stimulus and naturally reacting how it has been trained.

Yes it's literally brainwashing but if they absolutely, positively, MUST find a solution then this is one that has few, if any, downsides and is far less horrific than things they do on a daily basis.

---

On a different note, Amy apparently likes munching on Taylor's hair(and probably wondering if the carpets taste like the drapes) while sleeping. Taking the idea of Amy sleep-shaping I've been wondering about, how often does Taylor wake up with flavored hair and far less of it than she went to sleep with?

A twist on the joke "I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone!"

Amy eats lots of cotton candy in her dreams.

 

[TanaNari]

Something wrong with the multiquotes on this site.

Okay, I have issues with this as a 'reason Taylor can't have her brain altered so that she can give Amy sweet lesbian love.'.

First one is, when Taylor first had this done, Amy didn't have that reaction at all. I can't say for certain (because I can't find that chapter to reference it) but from what I recall, Amy didn't realise it until Taylor started getting intimate. So it wasn't as obvious as she's making out now.

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143, from Taylor's perspective:

I moved toward her and sat on the bed next to her, then ran my fingers through her hair as I drew her into a kiss. This time there was no hesitation on my part. This time, I wanted this as much as she did, and for the same reasons. Our second kiss was wonderful and set off all the fireworks they were meant to set off. JoyDesireLove. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed more passionately.

RecognitionWorry. She broke the kiss. HorrorPain. "Oh god, Taylor, what have you done? DisgustGuilt.

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That is the first physical contact they'd made. Sure, it took Amelia a few seconds to spot it (she was a little distracted), but she did spot it and reacted with horror, disgust and guilt. So, y'know. Close enough.

Secondly, Amy did it to Vicky in canon. This very thing. And desperation or not, she would have known that she would never have been able to enjoy it, if what you're saying is true. And in fact, in canon, when she followed Jack Slash's advice and followed her impulses, she did spend intimate time with Vicky, and she did enjoy herself.

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The first part is true. The second part is your fanon. Amy *immediately* regretted something that she did in a moment of despair and weakness. And never once did anything to suggest they were physically intimate at any point.

In short, this is reading as a 'we can't have these two being happy by means of a simple consensual brain mod, so we're gonna just have to wait till the straight girl decides to go lesbian'.

Which is all well and good, and very romantic, for a given definition of romantic, but is not borne out by canon. In-story canon or out.

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Actually, it's EXACTLY what fits with canon. Both my own and Wildbow's. You're thinking with the wrong part of your brain again.

In even shorter, you're cock-blocking them for drama. Fucking drama.

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Two people sat down, talked about something one of them wanted to do, but the other had extremely good reasons for it not to be done, and the pair came to a mutual agreement based upon soul searching and respectful conversation where they both walked away from it happy and in good spirits.

... In what bass ackwards worldview is THAT drama?

For reasons entirely disassociated from wanting to see Taylor and Amelia get that hot action on, I don't like it. I won't stop reading, but I'm withholding my Like.

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The only reasons are things you made up or remembered wrong. And the hot action. So. I'm going with you just being hung up on the hot action.

Ya know, i think Riley could pull it off. Super Subtle mods, i bet thats even what the camel fat was about, testing to see how good Amelia's bio sense really is so they can make adjustments to taylor without her noticing.

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Yeah. You do realize that if it DOES happen naturally, Amelia's going to be suspicious. She WILL ask. And Taylor cannot lie to her (successfully, at least). So toss subtle mods out.

Unless Taylor doesn't know.

Clarice: I'm HALPING!
Amy/Taylor: We are extremely conflicted. On one hand- this is guilt free. On the other hand, it's a horrifying violation of trust.

On the third hand... now we mostly just feel really stupid for ever trusting Bonesaw with this level of access in the first place. Seriously, what the fuck's wrong with us?

It doesn't 100% jive with my memory of the scene, but it is close enough that I don't think it matters and makes perfect sense. Also, Taylor getting intimate is probably what flicks on the neon sign.

It being the things she did to Vicky is part of the hangup. It reminds her of her weakest moment. Also, I don't recall her getting intimate with Vicky at all in canon; Vicky immediately freaked out and wouldn't let her fix it. I guess it wouldn't be the first major bit of info I've forgotten from canon, though.

Edit:

Oh, and I think the unspoken motivation is "holy shit please don't do the same thing you did before which led you to kill yourself, even if it might go differently this time."

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Nope. Just required physical contact. Or healing pod and Yggdrassil, I suppose. It's not something that could be seen through Taylia. The attraction, yes, certainly. But Amelia could easily sense if Taylor felt ill, too... she'd need contact to know what was causing the illness.

Also- yeah, the whole "your original killed herself and this is associated in my subconscious with that" may be a factor. Not NEARLY the factor that guilt-over-Vicky is.

Amelia needs to be constantly teasing Taylor with physical things

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Sadly, Amelia's the more passive one in the relationship. It's a good idea, however.

Rapture would probably suggest it.

Okay, this is Worm as written by Wildbow. Would Amy have stopped short, if indulging herself fully would have given her more mental trauma, later? (Birdcage, people).

Also, and most notably - in all the time Amy had Vicky to herself, she never once removed the brain adjustment that made Vicky love her. If it was so distasteful, that's the first thing that she would have fixed.

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I seriously doubt it, and so has everyone else who's commented on the issue. So you have your interpretation, we have ours.

And Amy HAD to leave that mod in. It was the only thing keeping her loving sister from murdering her in the most horrific way possible. Which would still be exponentially less horrible than what Vicky was living through.

 

[Daunmi]

For anyone who's curious:

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Yeah, I had no idea what that was referring to. Also... oh god!

how often does Taylor wake up with flavored hair and far less of it than she went to sleep with?

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The better question is how soon until Amelia's birthday when Taylor will ask Riley to work in some implant that makes her hair both nutritious and taste like chocolate. And then, how long until Taylor is bald.

 

[GiftofLove]

Better question is how long until Missy and Theo find out their girlfriend's kisses taste like chocolate?

 

[pepperjack]

And never once did anything to suggest they were physically intimate at any point.

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I was with you up until here. Never once does anything outright state they were physically intimate at any point. Plenty of things suggest it.

 

[meta_halo]

Ugh.

Honestly TanaNari one of the hardest things to stomach about your work is your characters' idiotic views of the self. First there was Lisa's accumulated bullshit, and now this, which is pretty much dumb and I'm not even entirely sure it makes sense (and that's on top of my issues with the whole 'Taylor is super straight' thing, cause no-one is that defined in their preferences - I'm gayer than Marlene freakin Dietrich but I still get the odd crush on guys).

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Well, aside from Victoria, but that's only because:

986. Clarice can make the Kinsey scale go into the negatives.

Seriously though, even if Taylor were super-gay or super-bi* it's no guarantee she'd be physically attracted to Amelia. If Taylor was going to crush on a woman, Miss Militia seems a lot more likely: she's tough (physically and mentally) and emotionally stable, more so than Brian ever was, while Amelia is exactly none of those things.

Dunno if you read Savage Love, but it often feels like a full 25% of the letters Dan gets are from people complaining that "I love my boyfriend/girlfriend/SOPAtGSfriend** but I'm just not physically attracted to him/her/(insert preferred pronoun). We've been together for years and we get along wonderfully, so we'd be a perfect couple but for the lack of chemistry. Help!"

Plus the main characters are a) busy with life-and-death battles, interdimensional politics, and a looming world-ending threat, b) mostly teenagers with very little relationship experience, and c) in Amelia's case have traumatic experiences specifically with parahuman powers influencing sexuality. (Forget the sis-con, would she even be attracted to women if she hadn't spent puberty marinating in Victoria's emotion aura?) Not to mention the mind-altering alien space whale parasites in general.

Basically the entire setting is riding the Hot Mess Express with direct service to Dysfunction Junction, and they're coping about as well as I'd expect real people to.


* best parahuman power EVAR!

** some other point along the gender spectrum

 

[meta_halo]

Clarice: I'm HALPING!
Amy/Taylor: We are extremely conflicted. On one hand- this is guilt free. On the other hand, it's an adorrifying violation of trust.

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FTFY

 

[pepperjack]

would she even be attracted to women if she hadn't spent puberty marinating in Victoria's emotion aura?

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Now I'm picturing young Amy reclining in an enormous shallow dish, literally marinating in some sort of tangible aura-sauce. My mind can't decide whether it's bubbling because it's hot enough to simmer or if it's just naturally bubbly, like a hot spring, or a soda.

Thank you?

 

[meta_halo]

Now I'm picturing young Amy reclining in an enormous shallow dish, literally marinating in some sort of tangible aura-sauce. My mind can't decide whether it's bubbling because it's hot enough to simmer or if it's just naturally bubbly, like a hot spring, or a soda.

Thank you?

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Actually it's being heated by Lung, turning it into an impromptu hot tub. Because Lung would never pass up an opportunity to recline in something.

You're welcome?

 

[pepperjack]

Actually it's being heated by Lung, turning it into an impromptu hot tub. Because Lung would never pass up an opportunity to recline in something.

You're welcome?

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Now you've got Lung marinating in her aura, too...

Lung & Panacea - LOVE RIVALS?!?

I have been awake for far too long again.

 

[tordg]

Clarice: I'm HALPING!
Amy/Taylor: We are extremely conflicted. On one hand- this is guilt free. On the other hand, it's a horrifying violation of trust.

On the third hand... now we mostly just feel really stupid for ever trusting Bonesaw with this level of access in the first place. Seriously, what the fuck's wrong with us?

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On the fourth hand... *blink* *blink blink* CLARICE!!!!

 

[meta_halo]

Now you've got Lung marinating in her aura, too...

Lung & Panacea - LOVE RIVALS?!?

I have been awake for far too long again.

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Hey, it's canon:

Vicky: "Well, I kinda had a recurring, umm, fantasy about Lung. There might have been a chainmail bikini involved. I wasn't the one wearing it."

Click to shrink...

 

[Daunmi]

Kind of wondering if Riley might not take things into her own hands to keep her big sister happy. No problems if neither Taylor nor Amelia can remember anything ever being different after all, and nobody ever finds out.

Incidentally, Taylor seems to have gotten over every fear she used to have of Riley, more or less. Is that through Amelia's influence on her mind, potential Riley influence on her mind, or just that her past feelings aren't that relevant in the grand scheme of things they've done?

 

[evildice]

This might not be appropriate for QQ, but the other transhumanist solution to the Taylor x Amelia sex issue is to just remove both of their sex drives.

The only reason that orientation change keeps coming up is that they're frustrated about sex.

Remove the drive, and they'd remove the frustration.

Sure, it's not as sexy, but it'd work.

 

[Ack]

This might not be appropriate for QQ, but the other transhumanist solution to the Taylor x Amelia sex issue is to just remove both of their sex drives.

The only reason that orientation change keeps coming up is that they're frustrated about sex.

Remove the drive, and they'd remove the frustration.

Sure, it's not as sexy, but it'd work.

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What's the word for a 'solution' which isn't satisfying for anyone - being Amy, Taylor or the readers?

Because you just found one.

 

[evildice]

What's the word for a 'solution' which isn't satisfying for anyone - being Amy, Taylor or the readers?

Because you just found one.

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I think the words you're looking for are "Darkest Fix-Fic".

 

[MadGreenSon]

On the third hand... now we mostly just feel really stupid for ever trusting Bonesaw with this level of access in the first place. Seriously, what the fuck's wrong with us?

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This is something I've been wondering about. It's pretty apparent that she's not so much reformed as much as aiming her psycho in a newer direction. She has managed to get it toned down a decent amount and expand her ability to socialize. Nevertheless the sadistic tendencies and disregard of any concept of ethics other than "would Big Sister be mad?" does not indicate true reform.

She's still the girl who brutally murdered someone she felt love for, after joining the alleged good guys, because she wanted to. (it was for the good of the group, it was also scary as fuck)

Kind of wondering if Riley might not take things into her own hands to keep her big sister happy. No problems if neither Taylor nor Amelia can remember anything ever being different after all, and nobody ever finds out.

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If there is a way she can do that. (Not sure there is, Amy's ability is damn powerful) She probably will, without hesitating.

 

[meta_halo]

Apparently I have far too much free time on my hands:

Spoiler: SFW but may require brain bleach

component credits:
Lung picture - wolfofragnarok (DeviantArt)
"wardrobe accessory" - ThomasGottlieb (DeviantArt)
title bar - dasstan