An Extraordinary Sage's Not-So-Ordinary Adventure

[RedFistCannon]

Author Notes (A/N): Heya! So I decided to crosspost my fanfic here. This is a rewrite of a previous work I had on fanfiction.net (it's still there under the same username if you wanna check it out). If the story does well, I'll see about crossposting its 'reading' here as well.

Summary: Having a relaxing vacation? Avoiding trouble? Not when you're Naruto and Zetsu! Read on as an unlikely pair engages in shenanigans in a land they have no business being in. Note that this is not Canon Zetsu.

Deuteragonists:

1. Naruto N. Uzumaki (an immortal father with a love for dad jokes, ramen, and orange)
2. Zetsu N. Uzumaki (son of Naruto, created thousands of years ago, prone to extreme bouts of grumpiness)

Other characters: Annabeth Chase, Thalia Grace, Luke Castellan, Athena, Artemis, Apollo, Hestia, Rhea, Amaterasu (OC), Quetzalcoatl (OC), the Jade Emperor/Okhwang (OC), the Bijuus, (more to be revealed).

Without Further Ado!

 

[RedFistCannon]

​

"I've never fully believed in his existence, for I thought it was nothing more than a Myth. A Man who walked the earth before the gods themselves? Surely it must be a jest! For that sounds the furthest away from a Man!"
"But alas I was proven wrong! For we were one day visited by a Man who resembled the one described in the ancient texts. Hair that looked to be woven from gold, eyes that resembled the Sun itself, and a body that surpassed any warrior's."
"If that were not enough, the Man had the audacity to empty our entire supply of flour! And for what else but his own personal meal? Preposterous! Inconceivable!"
"And what even is this Ramen he spoke so highly of?"

~~ Testimony of a scribe of a rural Chinese village, 4900 B-C ~~

From "Tales of the Great Sage" by Professor Fujino Yasuhiro.

---

There were virtually no creatures, apart from the oldest primordials who could recall the Age of Shinobi, a period that preceded the Golden Age of Humanity and succeeded the First Age. The Age of Shinobi has long been considered the briefest era of world history, lasting only a few centuries as opposed to eons or millennia.

It began with the Sage of the Sixth Paths bestowing the gift of Chakra onto humanity and ended with a mass extinction event triggered by Gaia.

None but a few beings out there could remember the exact sequence of events, but rumor has it start with a war that engulfed the world and shook the continents. It was a period that blurred the lines between 'godhood' and 'mortality', where multiple men and women amassed so much power they would have been able to stand toe to toe with many of today's gods.

But among all these powerhouses, a lone being stood off from the rest of the earthly creatures.

A figure known by many names, the most famous of which would be "The Gallant Sage of the East".

Despite the abundance of records detailing his sightings and interactions with men and women throughout human history, he was a cryptid even among the higher plane.

None but the Primordials and the elder deities of the more powerful pantheons could ascertain his existence nowadays.

It does create a sense of paranoia among them, the thought of a being with so much power left unchecked was worrying. Who knows what such a creature could be planning? What sort of evil machinations could they be concocting?

---

Chiba Prefecture, Japan, Spring of 2000


...

Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp

Crunch crunch
​

…


"Hey, Pops?"

"Yeah Son?"

"I'm bored- Wait! WAIT! Don't you dare!"

"Hi, Bored… I'm Dad"

"UGGHHHHHH"

Sluuuuuuurp

...


A couple sat in a seiza position on top of a cliff overlooking the sea.

Well...one was sitting, the other was writhing in what appeared to be physical pain on the ground.

The tallest was a blond man, holding a hot ceramic bowl of Ramen in his calloused hands and using chopsticks to inhale the noodles at an almost inhuman pace. His whiskered cheeks were puffed out while his eyes were closed in bliss, making the man resemble a fox.

Despite his seemingly non-threatening appearance, his body spoke of a different matter entirely. As he knocked the bowl back to drink the still-steaming broth, the shirt he was wearing hiked up, showing a toned stomach decorated by red flame-like orange markings. The same markings went over his muscular arms in a manner resembling some sort of tribal body paint.

As he was done with his meal, the bowl disappeared in his left hand in a puff of smoke while a similar bowl appeared in his right hand, which the man proceeded to attack with the same vigor.

He did not seem the least bit disturbed with how his lunchmate was acting and continued to consume the noodly goodness with enthusiasm.

Sluuuuuuurp

His companion, however, looked less human. The average person would probably mistake them for an imp because of their small stature, a little under three feet, and their midnight black complexion, partially covered by a child-sized green yukata.

The little creature was barely getting back together from the reflexive disgust it felt towards the terrible attempt at humor and looked back for the whole fried chicken it had been munching on. Shrugging, it took a bite out of it, consuming both meat and bones in one go.

It then looked up at the one they called 'Pops', the large yellow dots that served as its eyes being filled with curiosity. It finished swallowing the food before opening its glasgow-like mouth to speak.

"Sooooo...what should we do today?"

Gulp

The blond loudly swallowed the handful of noodles he had shoved in his mouth before shifting his own strange set of eyes onto the creature. A pair of blue eyes with a central golden ring gazed upon the one that the man considered his son.

"Meh… I'm up for anything you want" he replied nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders before continuing his meal.

His son scratched his horned head in thought, removing the large cone hat he wore in the process and revealing his moss-colored hair. The smaller male contemplated their next course of action. It has been a few decades since anything exciting happened in the world, ever since the end of World War II, Asia did have a few skirmishes here and there that occupied the duo but nothing as major as the Great War.

He wouldn't complain about peace, as moderate as it was, because that seemed like something his own father yearned for.

But he still wished for something to do.

They had already been all over the world, traveling most of the continents for millennia in search of adventure and great foodstuffs. However, the blond had insisted on staying in the Far East for the last few centuries. Naruto N. Uzumaki was strong, perhaps one of the strongest beings on the planet. There was little in the world that he felt apprehension towards.

Well, anything not truly Omnipotent that is.

'I'm strong too, not as much as Pops obviously, but I can hold my own and if push comes to shove, I'll just call for help' the shorter of the duo thought.

There had to be a sensible reason for his father's decision but for the life of him, he couldn't think about anything. Maybe it was his own apathy towards most living creatures that weren't his family or those he considered precious, but there was simply no valid excuse for them not to do whatever they wanted.

'After all, who's gonna stop us?'

"You know… I've been getting sick of Japan and Asia in general, we traveled everywhere here! And yeah, the dishes are great and all, the people too… sometimes...but I just wanted some more variety… Why can't we visit Europe again? Or the Americas?" asked the little guy.

Naruto sighed, putting his empty bowl down and gazing upon the sea in thought.
"It's… complicated"

"Well make it not complicated" The son crossed his arms and rumbled to which the blond raised an eyebrow at the lip.

"Little sassy guy aren't you?" Naruto asked, making Zetsu wince and grumble under his breath.

"A good way to put it is… I can't afford to go there anymore"

"How? You're stronger than ever, Pops!" the green-haired young man almost screamed in exasperation.

"That's just it, Zetsu! I'm too strong! Do you realize how threatened my very presence makes people feel? Let alone beings who can actually sense my power?" the blond explained and gestured widely.

At Zetsu's incredulous gaze, he decided to elaborate.

"What do you think happens when someone unfamiliar with us meets either of us?"

The short male scratched his head "They'd, umm... flee?"

Naruto shook his head "While that may true for weak creatures like most humans and monsters, it's another story when it comes to deities or beings of a higher power, especially those with too much pride for their own good"

Zetsu tilted his head as he listened to his father.

"Most of those beings would see me as a threat, regardless of my intentions. And what do you think they'd do if I entered their zones of influence? Let me prance around?" He questioned his son who nodded his head in understanding.

"No they wouldn't, many of them would start blasting before asking questions, regardless of where I was, and how many do you think will die before they listen to reason?" Naruto continued.

"You've never truly experienced it because of your own ability to suppress yourself, but me? This is all I had to deal with for the first few thousand years of my life! If it weren't for that bullshit with Okhwang and his gaggle of megalomaniacs, I wouldn't have garnered- what do the kids call it these days? Ah yeah! A street rep! Your old man wouldn't have any of that rep!" the man grumbled in irritation.
Zetsu simply nodded in understanding.

"Besides, you know we only really stay here because of Ama-chan's influence. If it weren't for my darling ray of sunshine, we'd have to have stayed in Oraeguk."

Zetsu again nodded, thinking deeply on it.

'It really makes sense when I think about it. Pops and Uncle Kurama alone are some of the top dogs out there so there's really nothing to fear. Plus everyone in Asia sort of keeps their distance from us.'

Naruto had forged many friendships among the supernatural in the Eastern hemisphere, some of them strong enough to be considered a Pantheonic Threat like he himself was.
He had a pull here that he lacked in the other parts of the globe, especially in the West.

Zetsu heard and read a lot of bad things about the so-called "gods" dominating the Western hemisphere. Be it Zeus' vindictiveness and paranoia, Odin's similar but more calculative personality, or even Ra's wishy-washy demeanor.

But compared to their power base?

There really wasn't anything the western pantheons could pull that would catch them flat-footed. They had too much raw power to be challenged. But that doesn't mean any of the pantheons would be cowed into non-violence. They had too much pride and too little care for anything they considered below them.

Or that's what he assumed at least. One could never be too careful with those.

They'd already made that mistake once before.

In the end, Naruto wasn't afraid to fight them, but any fight he might get into could become both bloody and destructive, delivering crippling damage to both the environment and the people.
Something that he, as a Sage, cannot allow himself to do.

But Zetsu found himself racking his brain for another argument. He didn't personally care as much as his father for any potential consequences their presence could cause, but he had thought up a way to prevent those scenarios and he hoped Naruto would agree.

"I mean… we don't have to announce ourselves y'know? I could use err… y'know...that new technique" the little guy tried to convince his father.

"Hmm? You mean that one you've been working on? What did you call it?" The man scratched his whiskered cheek in thought.

"[Mole in Plain Sight]" Zetsu spoke with a level of pride. The technique had been his pet project for quite a while and one that could offer up a solution for their dilemma.

It was a similar skill to one used by a warrior of the Old World, one that his father fought in the past. The Second Tsuchikage's [Dustless Bewildering Cover] hid the user's presence and chakra (or energy signature) completely from other shinobi or warriors in general.

Zetsu initially wanted to take it a step further, and completely erase the user from everyone's radar, including 'all-seeing' beings like the astral or sky deities of multiple pantheons. Failing to accomplish that goal, Zetsu opted to shift his objective from erasing one's presence to blending it with the surroundings. The technique was powered purely by Senjutsu, which he and his father were both masters of. Nature chakra would constantly coat the body in a thin 'opaque' layer while sending a 'Mist' of diluted chakra in the area surrounding the user. Nature chakra would act as a masking agent for the other kinds of energy within the body, thus making it seem as if the user was made of pure Senjutsu, or pass him off as a nature spirit.

All things considered, that sounded like an easy task for both of them.

The problem, however...

"I got it down but I still have an issue. The technique depends on the user's concentration. You have to be constantly focusing on it to maintain it, this means that any lapse of focus could land us in the crosshairs of any supernatural being with a sensing capability" Explained Zetsu, while Naruto gained a surprised look followed by a proud one.

"You finished it? THAT'S MY BOY! Bahahahaa!" The blond father laughed joyously as he scooped up his child and held him up, much to the son's annoyance.

After all, that was an achievement of the highest order! Hiding their power from other deities was near impossible, if they made themselves invisible to the eye with a technique, they could still be detected by powerful sensors. Simply walking into a pantheon whose authority they had no positive relations with was out of the question, especially if what he heard about those 'gods' in the Americas was true.
His son however was ironically like a sponge - 'Heh get it? Because he was half-plant' -, he simply absorbed information and thought up unpredictable ways to use it. Quite outside-the-box like himself at his age, but his boy was also a born genius.

That was far from the first technique he invented but Naruto still felt a swell of Fatherly Pride(TM) every time his boy made such discoveries.

Ah but Zetsu's problem was a pretty big one, still…

Old as he was, Naruto was still Naruto, meaning he was just as hyperactive as those 'demigods' peppering the world were, and thus could never give all his focus to a single task for too long. Especially considering the technique will need to stay active when they inevitably go to sleep for the night.

Sure he could force himself to stay awake the entire time, but he liked to sleep! It gave him some modicum of serenity.

So, staying completely hidden was a no-go, but then again, did they really have to?

Naruto has been alive for eons, he had more than enough time to become the Master of Masters of the Shinobi arts, especially the Art of Fuinjutsu, the knowledge behind Jutsu Shikis, and even some of the western and nordic runes.

The idea came to him almost instantly: A Seal to act as a nature chakra battery with a multi-layered runic circuit with some Jutsu Shiki sprinkled here and there, all to act as both a chakra filter and a circuit around the body.

The blond narrowed his eyes in contemplation, ignoring his son's thrashing as the boy attempted to escape the hold of his captor's Fatherly Pride(TM).

'Now all I need to do is put the idea into practice, hmmmm-OUCH' Naruto yelped as Zetsu finally had enough and opted to use his powerful teeth to bite at his father's arms.

"LET ME DOWN POPS!"

"NOT UNTIL YOU LEARN TO ACCEPT MY FATHERLY AFFECTION(TM)!"

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRADEMARKING THIS?!"

"SCREW YOU I'M THE BEST DAD IN THE WORLD I CAN TRADEMARK FATHERHOOD ITSELF! Besides…"

"Oh No…"

"I wouldn't be much of a Patent if I wasn't the best I could be eh? Get it?"

"UGHHHHHHHHHHH"

 

[RedFistCannon]

The Fool stood Defiant,
The King brought down his Judgement,
The Fool laughed in Mirth,
And Chaos enveloped the Earth
~~ Excerpt from apocryphal Taoist texts found in the Huang He valley, 390 BC ~~

Alluded to refer to the Mythological 'Heavenly War' between the Jade Emperor and the Gallant Sage of the East.
​

---

East Highland Park in Richmond, Virginia, 1st of June, 2000

In one of the park's clearings, Naruto woke up to the first rays of dawn.

It's been a few months since his son had announced his great accomplishment and Naruto had stayed awake for the next few weeks working on his project. Making the individual seals had always been easy, it was the inevitable trial and error of constructing a new circuit to complement those that always took time.

But then, the end result spoke for itself, as it always did nowadays.

Both Naruto and Zetsu could now walk into the heart of a Pantheon and be mistaken for Nature Spirits, if a little stronger than the average one, but nothing to raise an alarm about. As long as neither used any of their bigger techniques and stuck to the more basic Ninjutsu, there would be nothing to worry about.

Yawning deeply and stretching his back like a housecat, he inadvertently woke the small group of animals that had taken to spending the night on various parts of his body. A sparrow that had nested in his hair chirped angrily at the rude awakening and flew off to a nearby branch. A litter of fox cubs that had curled up on his stomach yipped at the sudden movement and scrambled off to run into the bushes. A few other rodents that had leaned into him reacted similarly, albeit more out of surprise than fear or panic.

Naruto laughed "Hehe, sorry guys, a man shouldn't stay in bed earlier than sunrise you know?"

Can't really blame the critters for feeling comfortable around the Sage, especially with the technique he had activated.

"Pops?" a voice called out from a nearby tree.

The blond turned from his position on the grass to see his son had woke up as well and was gripping one of the lower branches lazily, reminding him idly of a small chimp.

"Well good morning my dear boy! How's it hanging?" Naruto exclaimed jovially.

"Oh God please don't start, it's too early for this" Zetsu felt himself go slack as his father waved him off.

"Nahhhh, never too early for quality comedy"

"Ugh," the little man groaned and let himself fall before ambling over to his father.

Both of them had chosen to spend the night in the park, instead of a hotel like any sane person would. Both of them being Sages made them feel more at home in a grassy field or a thick forest than in any five-star hotel. It had been something of a habit for both father and son to simply sleep where they found themselves at night, never worrying about shelter.

"So what's for today? I was thinking we could try the Chinese food here, it's different from the authentic stuff" Zetsu asked, looking up at his father.

"Hah? Didn't you say you were getting sick of it?"

"I got bored of the same flavors they used in China, apparently the selection here uses a lot of local ingredients and even changes up the cooking recipes so the result is pretty different," the little man said.

"That so?" the blond looked pensive before nodding to himself. Yup, Chinese breakfast food sounded good, they could always get Ramen for lunch or just do some meat shopping since Zetsu was such a connoisseur.

"Yosh! Let's goooo!" Naruto crowed excitedly and started speed walking to the entrance of the park, all the while ignoring the looks he was getting from early joggers.

Zetsu shook his little head, even though his father was older than most things on the planet, he still acted the same hyperactive way even after the many millennia they spent together.

Later on, they happened upon one of the more popular food chain restaurants and much to the bafflement of the waiting staff proceeded to order two of everything on the menu.

When their orders arrived, both analyzed the platters with a critical eye, unwittingly making their waitress sweat, before each picked up a fried wonton and threw it in their mouths.

…

Munch Munch

...

"Mmmm"

…

…

On that day, Naruto and Zetsu N. Uzumaki solemnly swore never to touch Chinese-American cuisine again.

---

The rest of the day passed pretty quickly for the duo of tourists. There wasn't much to do in Richmond that would interest them. That, and both were still pretty upset about their breakfast.
While the food had tasted good enough, the problem lay in the label.

'You cannot simply fry half the ingredients then call it Chinese! Since when do Chinese recipes include so much oil? And don't even get me started on the flavor! Sugar and Salt are not fucking seasonings! You don't just drown your chicken in it!' Naruto ranted bitterly on the inside.

So he had a refined palate! Sue him! He's been alive for longer than these recipes have existed! He practically invented some of these!

He had half a mind to barge into the kitchen and give the cooks a piece of his mind but Zetsu, bless his soul, seemed to know his father's train of thought and convinced him against it. The cooks weren't at fault, it was whoever sorry excuse for an entrepreneur that thought that making a quick buck was worth practically scamming people out.

Nevertheless, the blond calmed himself and put the entire thing behind him. He needed to focus on the future! There were so many more towns to visit! So much food to eat and so much fun to be had!

He and his boy were going to bond!

The son in question had shifted his appearance into that of a small blond and blue-eyed child, as he wanted to go for the most inconspicuous look he could get. Logically that meant looking more like his father.

It made Naruto blush at the wholesome sight. He needed to immortalize this image!

The father hurriedly took his camera and hollered at his son to stand in front of a random landmark they passed by. He wanted to take pictures of his adorable son!

As Naruto proceeded to barrage a reluctant Zetsu with pictures taken at different angles, he was unaware of the wary looks he was receiving from the onlookers.

The man was decked out in dark green cargo shorts and an open kimono shirt with a swirl design, over a white T-shirt with the words "NO RAMEN NO LIFE" written in bold orange text. He looked like what one might expect the stereotypical tourist to dress like and that image was further amplified by the straw hat he favored.

But what seemed like the cherry on top of the entire (frankly embarrassing) ensemble was the footwear.

Naruto was wearing crocs and felt absolutely no shame for it.

Zetsu insisted on keeping his head down in shame at his father's horrifying fashion sense, despite the latter's incessant demands to 'Give him a winning smile!'. The photo session finished as quickly as it started and the dad continued dragging his son through the city, even opting to carry him on his shoulders as one would do to a toddler.
Zetsu hated that he kind of liked being babied and doted on by Naruto. As annoying as the man was sometimes, with his antics and God-awful dad jokes, Zetsu still very much loved his father and the attention he received from him.

He could understand slightly where his dad was coming from, having been told bits and pieces of the blond's past through some of his more loose-lipped uncles.

Naruto never liked talking about his childhood or his teenage years, but the way he handled all the tragedies he suffered as a mortal and translated them into a titanic amount of love for his precious people spoke well of his character.

The blond created him thousands of years ago. The green-haired youth was born from Naruto's will and would have happily served his creator as a tool to be used and discarded.

That was how much loyalty Zetsu had in him since he came into the world.

It was an instinct that he later learned was also present in his 'predecessor', the first Zetsu created from Otsutsuki Kaguya's own will.

However, unlike that wretched woman, his father had gone through the length of not only seeing him as his progeny but also giving him the childhood that the elder Uzumaki never got.

Be it carrying him like a toddler everywhere in his first few years, or celebrating every birthday as a family, Naruto never hesitated to shower his son with love and care. He satisfied his childish curiosity and did everything in his power to support the younger male's dreams and desires.

That was one of the many reasons the blond would always be the most respected figure in Zetsu's heart.

It was also the reason he took upon himself an oath: to never end up like the first Zetsu.

He never wanted to cause his family pain or stray from the moral path laid down by his father.

Zetsu would always be by his father's side, even with the latter's embarrassing antics.

---

As night fell, the pair found themselves having a walk in one of the quieter neighborhoods in the city. It had barely been a few days since they'd arrived in town and Naruto was ready to hop to another state. Zetsu was of a similar opinion, he'd already gotten his fill from visiting the local parks and butcher shops (and subsequently getting dragged out of them by Naruto after verbally assaulting some of the vendors).

The shorter male was as obsessed with meat of all kinds as Naruto was with noodles. While his father had explicitly forbidden him from eating human flesh, or the flesh of innocent humanoid creatures, everything else was fair game.
Zetsu made sure to use that freedom to its fullest, experimenting and enjoying the flesh of nearly every creature he was allowed to sink his teeth into. He has come to consider himself as very knowledgeable in his hobby and would not tolerate people giving less than their best when serving him.
Which was demonstrated through the metaphorical roast he delivered upon some of the vendors that did not give him a satisfying deal. The other customers had edged away from the tiny 'child' who brought grown men to tears with his words.

His Pops would then make a tactical retreat, then complain about how Uncle Shukaku had been a bad influence on him.

'Eh,' the boy shrugged. Sure his youngest uncle was a bit chaotic, and had about as much discipline as a raging bull in a china shop… and had the tendency to spit out expletives at every opportunity but it was fiiiiiine.

---

While Zetsu was silently contemplating the day he spent, Naruto simply closed his eyes and let his senses sweep over the entire district, he did not even need to use Sage Mode. His five senses had become very sharp over time, to the degree where he could map out his surroundings in his mind.

It was always an interesting experience for him, to simply let his spirit wander over the area around him. It served both as a means of staying alert, and stress-relieving practice.

The distinct sounds of bestial growling and startling human shouts suddenly assaulted his ears. His eyes snapped open as his body tensed in response, something that did not go unnoticed by Zetsu. Before the younger Uzumaki could ask, the blond blurred out from sight in a burst of speed. An image of the scene had already formed within his mind's eye and he had to react accordingly.

While a [Body Flicker] would've been faster, the Sage still had to maintain his cover. Naruto ran at subsonic speeds before jumping and bouncing off the walls of nearby buildings. He ran the entire distance in less than a few seconds before he found himself soaring over the scene of trouble.

Two abnormally big black wolves, each about the size of a sedan, had cornered what looked like two young teenagers and a child to the back wall of the alley. The blond did not bother observing the obvious victims, he landed on the wall above the three in a crouch, before rocketing at tremendous speeds towards the two large canines.

To any onlookers, the movement would have been nigh instantaneous, a yellow blur suddenly passed by the animals before the two exploded into golden dust.

The man landed in a crouch, arms crossed over his chest and hands drawn out in a chopping motion. He stood up, put his hands on his hips, and cracked his neck to the side before turning towards the three kids. The oldest teenager, a lanky blond-haired youth dressed in a T-shirt and a pair of torn jeans, held what looked like a bronze golf club in front of him in a threatening manner. Although from the expression on his face, he was still recovering from the shock of the sudden rescue. The same could be said for his older female companion, a young black-haired lass in a punk ensemble who held a bronze spear up in front of her. One of her hands held the shoulder of the last of the trio, a little blonde girl of about seven years who, while hiding behind the leg of the black-haired teenager, still grasped a small hammer tightly in her hand.
Naruto's Fatherly Instincts(TM) flared up immediately at the scene.

The three didn't look injured. A little roughed up from running probably but nothing to be alarmed about.

However, being the caring person that he was, the Sage had to make sure the three were doing well. So, putting on his best foxy grin and raising a hand in greeting, he tried to disarm the situation and calm them down the best way he knew how to.

"Hey kids, a bit of a ruff night we have ain't it?" he asked, and could almost hear the groan of disappointment from an approaching Zetsu.

The two teens still looked wary. The ravenette even cringed in response before a tiny giggle erupted from the little girl.

Naruto's grin only widened "Oh? Is that some appreciative laughter I hear? HA! Finally, someone who appreciates my pawfect talent!"

The little blonde only giggled harder, eventually infecting both teenagers with her childlike mirth and letting their guard drop a little.

"Who are you?" asked the lanky blond, still holding up the golf club, but in a more relaxed manner.

"Ara ara?" Naruto closed his eyes and tilted his head. "Isn't it more polite to introduce yourself before asking others?"

The boy narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Hmph… fine, I'm Luke" the boy huffed before gesturing to his two companions. "This is Thalia and the kid is Annabeth."

He was swiftly elbowed by Thalia who proceeded to admonish him "Luke! Don't just give our names to a stranger! You saw what he did! He could be a monster!"

Her shout prompted an offended look to appear on Naruto's face.

"Oi oi oiiiii! Monster? I ain't no monster girly! Do I look like a monster? Name's Naruto! I'm just a guy who can punch stuff real good!" He exclaimed while waving his hands in protest.

"Don't screw with me! No mortal could do what you did!" Thalia refused to back down and 'Mortal? Monster?' thought Naruto, registering her accusation before realizing 'Oh…Huh… If I focus a little I can faintly see these kids' connections, they're probably demigods'

The connections he was talking about were the faint bridges of energy that linked the trio to separate domains.Those connections would usually be barely visible for demigods, as they did not have the almost-symbiotic relationship with them as their godly parents. Theirs was barely a powerful enough bridge to support some of the domain's energy. Enough to influence their behavior or traits, and for the more powerful, allow some semblance of abilities.

He thought over his next course of actions.
He couldn't very well come out and admit his real identity, so he settled on what he and Zetsu discussed.

"HA! Well, you got me! I'm not normal! I'm what you would call a 'clear sighted' mortal, I trained very hard to become strong. So I couldn't let these bad dogs hurt you, kids! If I was a monster, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now"

Thalia frowned before huddling with Luke to discuss Naruto's words quietly. While that was happening, Zetsu finally made his appearance, having shifted his body to look like a teenage version of Naruto, albeit leaner and dressed in a less ridiculous manner.

"Pops? Who are these kids?" the younger Uzumaki asked, snapping the two demigods from their discussion. The youngest blonde had taken to hiding behind them and poked her head out to look at the newcomer.

"Hah? We're the same age! And who are you?" the ravenette questioned.

"Oh!" Naruto grabbed his son by the shoulder and gestured toward him proudly, uncaring of the younger Uzumaki's annoyance at the action.

"This is Zetsu! My son! He likes grilled meat and gardening! Ain't he a handsome fella?" he almost shouted in glee, as he did every time he introduced his little boy.

Zetsu grumbled under his breath, saying something along the lines of "I could've just introduced myself" before looking at the three kids in front of him.

Looking at the scene and the pure expression of happiness on the older blond's face, the older demigods felt their worries ebb away.

For some reason, they could not help but trust the elder blond, he simply had an air of warmth around him that compelled them to let their guard down. The youngest girl strode forward, while Thalia let her, not bothering to call her back but still watching the man with a wary eye.

The child stood in front of Zetsu and gave him a toothy smile in greeting.

"I'm Annabeth! I like books and architecture. Nice to meet you Zetsu and Mr. Naruto," her gray eyes looked up at the man.

Naruto grinned and Zetsu tensed in dread.

'You are soooooo getting adopted!' the Sage thought in glee.

 

[RedFistCannon]

The Jade Emperor kneeled from exhaustion, his features marred with sweat, grime, and ichor. His once pristine robes were barely held by the seams. His red hair, once expertly coiffed, was now singed and messy. But the most problematic injury seemed to be on his forehead, which was grasped tightly by his left hand as ichor escaped through his fingers.

His opponent walked towards him, hefting an obsidian-colored bo-staff over his shoulder, and stepping over the rubble littering the once magnificent floor of the Jade Palace. The other man's clothes were in just as much disarray as the deity. Lacerations, wounds, and bruises littered his body, one drenched in dried blood, both golden and red. Even then, he cared little about his appearance and focused on the god. The man stopped before the kneeling redhead, and the latter needn't look up to see the man's cold expression.

"You know, even after a century of fighting, even after all the deaths you've caused… my people, my followers, and my companions," the blond man's eyes briefly flashed a golden color, highlighting his rage, and yet, he stamped it down and looked at the kneeling redhead.

"Even with everything… it is saddening that it had to come to this," the man intoned, looking down at the kneeling deity who only chuckled mirthlessly.

"Saddening? Spare me those false platitudes! It would have always come to this!" the Jade Emperor snarled.

"Would it? I knew about your beliefs, yet I still extended my hand to your brood. Be it in friendship or simply as allies… And you've betrayed my trust… again and again…" the man's tone was a contrasting calm to the Emperor's rising ire.

"Side by side? With humanity? With demons? You dare imply our kind would ever stoop so low as to consider you our equals?" The deity's face had started to purple in rage, his eyes shimmering dangerously.

The Sage simply smiled pityingly at the fuming man, inadvertently causing his anger to boil even more.

"I'm not the Lord, Okhwang. Even my mercy has its limits, and after what you did to my companions… well… all I can do now is avenge them," the whiskered man began gathering his own energy.

The Emperor scoffed, "The river godling? The pig? That traitorous nephew of mine? I only did what I should have done the day they turned their backs on my throne!"

The god didn't notice the Sage's tattoos thickening as he continued his tirade.

"Oh, King of Vermin! Do you not understand? Immortality is a privilege! The power you hold is a privilege! Only our kind should have access to it!" The red-haired Emperor screamed and removed the hand covering his now healed eye.

The organ that helped him control the Four Natural Forces of the Universe.

Seeing this, the Sage shifted the staff into a Mala bead bracelet and clasped his hands in prayer in front of him, eyes closed.

"Okhwang… if there is one thing you and these other so-called 'gods' never seem to grasp…."

The Sage opened his eyes as his power spiked in response to the deity's own.

"...it is a creature's infinite potential for evolution."

Thus, their battle resumed once more.

~~ A battle forgotten by time ~~

---

Many millennia ago

'What is this?'

Zetsu knew who he was from the second his eyes first opened. The first thing he saw was the giant face of a whiskered blond man giving him a large toothy grin.

He knew who this was.

'This is my Lord'

The man's grin did not waver, even as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Hey there, little fella," he cooed softly. "What should I name you?"

Assuming the question was directed to him, Zetsu automatically gave his response.

"I am Zetsu," he said emotionlessly before continuing, "What is my purpose?"

The man lost his smile as his face morphed into an unrecognizable emotion.

"Eh?" The man uttered, which Zetsu assumed was a request for clarification.

"My Lord, what is my life's purpose?" the newborn intoned.

The man staggered, still holding the little boy.

"W-what? Purpose? What do you mean, Boyo? Why are you asking me? Shouldn't you know?"

"Should I? You are my Creator: thus, I shall serve you to the best of my ability," Zetsu answered simply as if speaking about the weather.

"HA? Y-you! Zetsu-chan! NO! That's not- I-" The man seemed confused. He wasn't giving orders either.

"Did I do something wrong?" the boy asked innocently, and the man finally snapped out of his stupor. He looked at him and muttered something inaudible under his breath.

The silence between them stretched for a long time as the man gazed at him, although his eyes were distant, lost in thought.

Finally coming out of his stupor, the man frowned before his expression shifted into a gentle one.

His voice was but a whisper, yet his words were heavy.

"Zetsu-chan, you are my son."

The blond man then nestled Zetsu on his shoulders and turned him around.

Zetsu finally saw where they were.

His vision was filled with naught but pink as he saw the forest of cherry blossoms they stood in the middle of.

The newborn was momentarily taken aback by the beauty of it all, so much so that his eyes involuntarily watered.

'Wh-what?'

"I am your father," the man said kindly yet firmly.

'Wh-what? is this feeling?'

If there was any way to describe it, Zetsu would say his soul suddenly felt lighter, although he had no idea why.

"This beautiful world is yours to explore and to frolic in… Grow up to be healthy, strong, and happy, but most importantly, Zetsu-chan..."

The young Uzumaki was hooked on his mast- father's every word.

"Your purpose is whatever you decide it to be"

These words would remain etched into the newborn's soul for the rest of eternity.

---

Bull Run Regional Park in Manassas, Virginia, 7th of June, 2000

"Zetsu! Zetsuuuu!" the annoying voice of his father brought him out of the memory.

"What, Pops?! What is it?!" He snapped at the man.

The Sage pouted like a child before looking at the blonde girl he was carrying on his shoulders.

"See Annie? See how my son is so mean to me?" he dramatically wept, making the little girl giggle at his antics.

Ugh, his Pops was so immature sometimes…

"Mmm!" Annabeth patted his father on the head like one would a horse before frowning at him. "Zetsu! Don't be a jerk to Mr. Naruto!"

His father mouthed those same words to him, furthering the boy's annoyance.

His father was a child.

An immature little child.

"Ugh! Whatever! What do you want, Pops!"

"Hmm," the man frowned, "We'll have to discuss that lip of yours later."

Before the son could retort, the man continued, "BUT! Little Annie here asked you a question! You gotta stop daydreaming like that, my boy!"

Zetsu huffed in annoyance before turning to the girl.

He waited expectantly.

"Well?" he finally asked her, and she blushed in embarrassment.

"Umm… uhh… Oh yeah! I wanted to ask what you wanted to be? You know, like when you graduate school and stuff. Wait! Why aren't you in school?! Are you skipping? Are-"

Zetsu held his head at the barrage of questions.

Goddamnit, this was supposed to be a relaxing vacation!

Hell! Why did his Pops insist on taking these kids with them? They were demigods! As in, related to the very beings Naruto claimed he wanted to avoid!

Zetsu internally screamed in frustration.

This was why he sometimes hated his father's good nature.

The two elder half-bloods had their own hushed discussion ahead of the trio.

"Are you sure you can trust them with Annie?" Thalia asked her companion with a frown.

She didn't like the thought of leaving her surrogate little sister in the strangers' hands. Even if it had been all of one week since they all met.

"I don't, but we have to play it cool," Luke answered before adding, "and while I think it's still too early to trust them, they haven't shown themselves to have any signs of ill intentions or being monsters in disguise."

"You mean besides the monstrous strength?" the raven-haired girl responded sarcastically.

She didn't buy that bullshit about Mr. Whiskers being a black belt in multiple martial arts or his son being a prodigy.

The group encountered several more monsters on their journey, all easily dispatched. If not by the Uzumakis, then by the elder demigods.

But that wasn't the problem, however.

The issue came with how both father and son were obviously hiding something. She couldn't help being suspicious.

From pretending to be awed by how 'tough' punching a hellhound's head clean off was to how coincidental their first meeting had been.

It all pointed to interference from their godly family, and neither Thalia nor Luke liked it. Both had suffered enough at the hand of the so-called 'benevolent' Olympians. Luke lost his only family to a curse-induced madness, and Thalia lost her younger brother to her mother's selfishness and her father's rashness.

Yeah, no, both demigods simply wanted to get to Camp Half-Blood to have a safe haven against monsters.

That, and maybe get to know other demigods.

Misery loves company and all that jazz.

But getting back on topic, the point was that Naruto and Zetsu were shady.

Apparently, both were Japanese tourists on a vacation tour in the US. And yet, they spoke fluent English. No accent, no dragged sentences, nothing. It was like talking with any other American.

Another surprising fact was how weird their dynamic was. Thalia had no idea how a functional family should act beyond what she'd seen on TV or read in books.

But their own family seemed like a stable one and, at the same time...not so much.

Mr. Whiskers, for one, acted more like the actual son of the pair. He was childish, happy-go-lucky, and made it a habit to constantly annoy his son with awful dad jokes.

At least Annie seemed to like them.

She seemed to have grown attached to the man pretty fast, going as far as to act like an average little girl around him. Thalia wasn't sure she liked that.

Sure, children could be instinctually observant about a person's true character, but the way Annie just latched onto the man worried her.

And no, she wasn't jealous. Anyone that says otherwise would meet the sharp end of her spear.

Zetsu was weird in his own way. If his dad had the whiskers, the teen definitely had a cat's grumpy attitude down to a pat.

She could excuse part of it for being a teenager. She was one too and knew how volatile she could get about the silliest things.

But the boy's face seemed stuck into either a scowl or a condescending smirk.

…

Well, that wasn't entirely true.

She sometimes caught a small smile from him, especially when his dad started either fussing over him or bragging about him.

There was also the fact he was brilliant.

Maybe that's why he wasn't in school? All Mr. Whiskers said was that Zetsu 'didn't need school anymore.' Early graduation, maybe? Or homeschooling?

Whatever, she'd continue pondering on the many questions about the pair as she kept an eye on them.

But she was sure of one thing, if the two turned out to be legit, she'd stick around them.

Maybe ask Mr. Whiskers for some pointers.

Hey, having more power against monsters never hurt anybody…

Luke was in a similar boat to Thalia, although his thoughts were slightly darker.

The teen did not trust the two strangers as far as he could throw them. Everything they did, from their meeting to their feats of strength, only seemed to validate his suspicions. Did his father send them? Or someone else? If so, then why?

The Olympians already showed they couldn't give two shits about them. If they did, then his mother wouldn't be-

'Nope, not gonna venture down that road again,' the boy thought, dismissing his dark thoughts before lightly glaring at the back of the blond duo.

He didn't care for the act the larger man was putting on; he wouldn't buy it. The eldest blond just seemed too tough for a human, no matter what he said about training. He just wanted to get his two fellow demigods to safety for now. He'll think about his future then.

Looking at the pair, he focused on the laughing Annie riding on Naruto's shoulders.

He only agreed to let her do that because he wanted to keep things civil, as he didn't know if the man was prone to anger if denied.

He had plenty of experience with that type of person, after all.

He internally swore, regardless of his own weakness, Annie and Thals were practically family at this point, and if these two were to try hurting them...

He'll do his damn best to stop them.

---

Annabeth liked Mr. Naruto.

She knew she shouldn't, 'stranger danger' and all.

But he saved her and her friends. Plus, there was just an air about him that reminded her slightly of her own father, if even better. Mr. Naruto was really kind too, and made lots of good food for her, even giving her piggyback and shoulder rides when she got tired from walking.

It was weird that the two didn't have a car, but maybe they just liked camping?

It felt like months since she met the bigger blond, even though she knew it had barely been one week.

That might be due to just how much fun she's been having.

The entire trip started to feel less like an escape and more like a family trip.

Luke and Thalia have become the older siblings she's always wished to have, and even Zetsu was getting there, even if he acted like a grumpy pants when Mr. Naruto told one of his funny jokes.

He was smart, though.

Like crazy smart.

Mr. Naruto said he was a prodigy or something, and Zetsu proved that by always answering the barrage of questions she's had to ask him. Even though he acted annoyed at first, he eventually answered her and sated her curiosity.

She had told Mr. Naruto about how she wanted to grow up to be an architect, and the man laughed heartily.

'Architect, eh? Well, I hope you'll be ready for the challenges ahead! But you're a smart girl, and I know you'll do it! Who knows? You might build the 8th Wonder of the World one day!'

Yeah…

Annabeth liked Mr. Naruto.

He was a nice man.

Even if he did react weirdly when she called him Mister.

---

There wasn't much that Naruto had to complain about.

Sure this entire thing was risky since avoiding the gods was the whole point of crafting their disguises.

Zetsu had given him an earful some time ago about this.

But come on! He couldn't leave these kids to their devices! If their parents were such asses that they couldn't be bothered with protecting their progeny, these kids probably wouldn't have lived long.

He was the sole holder of the Best Father Ever(TM) title, and he will die before he besmirches it by abandoning kids needing help.

Sure the oldest blond was a bit of an emo and the older girl had a gleam in her eyes that reminded him uncomfortably of his older brother Sasuke whenever he saw a nice Jutsu in the past.

But you know what? These kids were alright.

Especially Little Annie, why if he had his way, the cutie would've become his official daughter from the day he met her. Too bad she insists on calling him 'Mister'.

Damn...

Welp, nothing he could do about it for now! Just gotta soldier on to that camp the kids kept whispering about.

And maybe see if he could find some ramen around here, or maybe make it? He did spot a small field of wild foxtail millet a while back.

Hmmm…

 

[RedFistCannon]

A/N: Made an oopsie and switched chapter 3 and 4's titles. Ah well...
Without further Ado!

---

Gyaran no Honkyochi or the "Home of the Gallant" remains one of the greatest mysteries of history. One might call it the eastern version of Atlantis, a city lost to the sands of time. It was supposedly located in the middle of the East Sea, most probably back when the latter was still a landmass, thus placing it during a period older than the Ice Age.

What made this city special were its inhabitants.

As found in the Japanese Kojiki, it was said to be a place for everyone and anyone to live; it presented one of the earliest examples of coexistence between creatures of different origins. As it is written to not only have housed humans, but monsters, demons, and other such fantastical creatures. On the other hand, ancient Taoist texts related to the Tao Te Ching through similar narration chains paint a vastly different picture of the mystical city. For one, it was known as either the "City of Demons" or the "Refuge of Sinners". What was seen as a symbol of peace and understanding for the Shinto was abhorred as a symbol of rebellion against a divine decree by the Taoists.

Nevertheless, despite their differences, both stories share the same ending: the complete destruction of Gyaran no Honkyochi.

Because no ruins have ever been found, even at the bottom of the East Sea, most historians have considered this city as nothing more than a fairy tale.

~~ Excerpt from "Legends and Wonders of the Far East" by Professor Amanda Perkins~~

---

National Building Museum, Washington D.C, 30th of June 2000

Zetsu had many siblings over the centuries.

They weren't blood siblings, of course. He never had any of those. His father, weirdly enough, simply never had any children by traditional means. He instead either created them as was his case, or simply took in children that caught his interest and raised them. They grew up, achieved their dreams and ambitions, and for some, were immortalized in legends.

Longwang Ryong, the Mighty.

Amaterasu-Ōmikami, the Radiant.

Māui-tikitiki-a-Taranga, the Brave.

Ehecatl-Quetzalcóatl, the Fierce.

Kwaku Anansi, the Cunning.

Miyamoto Musashi, the Honorable.

These were but a few of his father's greatest children and students. Unfortunately, humans typically either exaggerated or twisted their feats and biography into something that was often unrecognizable from the original stories.
But the point was Zetsu's father had made taking in children and disciples into a habit. One that the younger Uzumaki had grown used to, even if he didn't like it.

So it came as no surprise to the greenette that his father had taken an interest in yet another one.

'I just wish he didn't pick the motormouth.' Zetsu thought while glancing at Annabeth, the subject of his thoughts.

The girl was holding onto Naruto's hand as she looked around in amazement at everything around her and pointed at random structures and installations while firing off question after question. The tiny demigoddess had made a passing comment about wanting to see the exhibit upon seeing an advertisement for the museum a few days ago when they came to Washington. Upon hearing her wish, his pops proceeded to reserve an expensive suite at one of the best hotels in the city, much to the amazement of Thalia and Luke.

Being immortal tends to come with some benefits… as is being related to the Sage Realm's richest businessman (or businessbeast in that case).

'Uncle Shukaku sure didn't skimp on the gold.' Thought the Uzumaki, thinking back to his most chaotic relative. Say what you want about the tailed beast, but Shukaku went to ridiculous lengths in his rivalry with the rest of his siblings. Be it in contests of strength (which he almost always lost), or vying for the title of 'Best Uncle'.

Whatever. Free stuff was free stuff.

But back to the subject at hand, it has been almost a full month since they'd met the demigods, and while Zetsu could see that Thalia and Luke still had some lingering doubts, those feelings were being chipped down daily… as was typical for anyone hanging around his father.

'Pops tends to make people trust him eventually… mostly….' Several sinister figures briefly flashed in Zetsu's mind.

Bah, there was no need for these thoughts right now. This was still a family vacation, extra-company notwithstanding, so Zetsu would do his best to at least enjoy himself.

Looking back at the girl, he wasn't surprised to see she'd had his father lift her up so she could take a closer look at one of the exhibits.

And then the questions came back with a vengeance…

'Damnit, where is she pulling all this energy from?'

Zetsu could understand her curiosity, he had once been just like her too…. It didn't mean her non-stop badgering and the never-ending wave of inquiries was any less aggravating. He wanted to tell her off, but every time he held himself back for two reasons.

His father would be unhappy, as he seemed content to humor the kid.

His father also gave him a concerned glance every time the man felt a spike in his negative emotions.

So the greenette kept his mouth shut on the matter and instead opted to entertain himself with the other two. They, like him, seemed to be uninterested in the exhibits around them, opting instead to bicker on their new favorite subject: Pokemon.

Naruto had the bright idea to introduce the two teens to pop culture through a couple of Gameboys he had in one of his seals, some old games he carried for him and Zetsu to play, and a few older mangas that he had discretely unsealed. As expected with their age group, Luke and Thalia took to video games like fish to water. Since his father was usually finishing off most monsters they encountered (with the exception of the times Thalia would ask to leave some for them), they had more time to indulge themselves in games and fiction.

Which came down to their present hushed argument.

"I'm telling you, Thals, Squirtle is the best starter!" Luke had his arms crossed and a steely glare directed at the demigoddess.

"And I'm telling you, Luke, that only an idiot would pick Squirtle over Charmander!" Thalia, ever the spitfire, responded back with more heat.

"Squirtle breezes through the first two gyms, it gives you the best running start!"

"Yeah, up until you get to mid-game, and the fights start taking forever! Charmander might take a while to get used to, but that's only for bad players," Thalia argued, her stormy eyes almost shining in frustration.

"Hah? Remind me again who has the most badges?" Luke smugly replied.

"Ugh! You little-" Thalia stammered, blushing in embarrassment before she crossed her arms and turned her head away to pout.

"Charmander's a dragon, dragons are cooler than turtles, 'nuff said." She concluded.

"Uh-huh. And how does that help your gameplay? Squirtle even gets the better evolution." Luke doubled down on her.

"Huh? Are you sure you've been playing the same game? I-" the ravenette snapped back.

"Bulbasaur." Both teens whipped their heads to the blasphemy.

"What?" The answer came out of left field, so the two demigods were understandably aghast.

"I know what I said. Bulbasaur stomps all." Zetsu crossed his arms, with a smirk so condescending, it wouldn't have been out of place on an Uchiha.

"The hell it does!" The two teens spoke in tandem before turning to each other with fire in their eyes.

"Stop copying me!" They spoke again, this time grabbing each other threateningly, while Zetsu watched in amusement.

"Stop it! Damnit!" the two butted heads, and it looked like it was rapidly escalating toward a brawl.

Zetsu didn't seem to care, though. Hell, he wanted to see some chaos. His lips twitched into a rare smile, a genuine one, at the almost sibling-like moment.

Heh, now to see if he could fan the flames more, they might get kicked out and finally do something fun.

"Oi."

Zetsu froze at the word, he didn't dare turn because he knew of the horror behind him.

The two arguing teens had a similar reaction, with Luke having a tight grip on Thalia's forearms while she rammed the top of her head into his torso in an attempt to push him back.

All three gulped and turned to the sight of the elder Uzumaki, with an oblivious Annabeth standing next to him - still looking around.

His voice soft, eyes closed, and a serene smile plastered on his face.

Yet the sheer monstrous aura he exhibited revealed the exact opposite.

Luke and Thalia had switched to holding onto each other for dear life while Zetsu unashamedly ran back behind them and hid. He wasn't above throwing people under the bus, or in this case, the eighteen-wheeler that was his father when annoyed.

'Nope, ain't in a mood for the stick or the chop'

"Are you three trying to get us kicked out?" he asked, smile still in place, although his question drew shivers down the troublemakers' spine.

"Bu-" Thalia tried to say.

"Apapap!" the man shushed her, "Come on guys! This is onix-eptable! I bayleef we're still in a museum, so let's all have a weedle decency," he said with a straight face.

Annabeth looked up at him confused. The other three looked at each other, with Thalia and Luke gaining cherry-like complexions at their closeness, and Zetsu peeking out, his face stony.

"Really pops? Now?" the younger Uzumaki threw a disgusted look at his father, who flashed him a grin.

"Hey hey heeeeey! Don't Pokémon's groove here!"

"Ugh," Zetsu groaned, while the two teens snapped out of their embarrassment, and snorted.

"Ew, who even says groove anymore?" Thalia asked with a smirk.

Naruto's smile became brittle.

"Old men, that's who," Luke fired off with an equal amount of sass, getting an over-exaggerated gasp from his victim.

"I-I'm still very well in the springtime of my Youth!" the man rebuked in outrage.

"Careful old man, you're swimming in de-Nile" Thalia pulled out her tongue and laughed with Luke.

"Ack! I'd be so proud if my ego wasn't in pieces!" The man fell to his knees next to Annabeth, grasping his heart tightly. The dramatics started turning heads as people began to whisper.

Zetsu smelled blood in the water.

"Look at that Thals, the grandpa's bones are so brittle he can hardly stand," this seemed to be the final nail in the coffin, eliciting a whine from the blond man.

"Annie! Save me from the mean kids!" Naruto held the girl in front of him like a makeshift shield.

The youngest demigoddess laughed in merriment at the group's antics.

---

Olympus, Athena's Temple

'Entry five quintillion, four hundred fifty-seven quadrillion, one hundred and two trillion, two billion, forty-seven million, and twenty-two'

If the average man possessed a garden within their mind, and the average god a sizable field, then Pallas Athena possessed a veritable forest within hers. Twin pools of gray shined as countless ideas sprouted, were simulated, applied, practiced, then either saved aside or redeveloped into more effective ones.

Her hands blurred at speeds that would have rivaled her twinkle-toed half-brother, simultaneously jotting down notes and organizing the mountains of documents she was reading through. There wasn't anything special about that, it was simply standard behavior for her within the confines of her own temple.

'Subject Variables:'
'SV1: Naruto N. Uzumaki'
'SV2: Zetsu N. Uzumaki'

In an effort to cope with the insane speed her mind worked, she had developed a peculiar habit over the last few thousand years of her existence. If anything caught her interest, be it a new flavor of her Aunt's treats or a potential armageddon, she would mobilize that same speed to craft an unearthly detailed analysis of her target. Her latest target was something that appeared simple, yet was more worrying.

'SV3: Annabeth Frederick Chase'
'SV4: Thalia Beryl Grace'
'SV5: Luke May Castellan'

As cold as it was to label her own daughter with a classification, she could be excused seeing as her current work could ensure her safety.

There was nothing alarming about SV- her little girl's situation… yet.

Meeting two other demigods was not problematic, even if she had doubts about SV4. Meeting two strangers constituted a first red flag, the circumstances of their meeting a second, bigger one.
What she had sensed in the following days through her daughter only increased her suspicion.

'SV1: Adult male, age noted as thirty-seven (suspected younger), single father of one, former JGSDF officer, current owner and chef of Ichiraku Ramen in Fukuoka.
'SV2: Adolescent male, age noted as sixteen (no suspicion), son of SV1, high-school graduate (unusual), current sous-chef of Ichiraku Ramen in Fukuoka.
'Notable characteristics: Superhuman strength, superhuman speed, energy signature similar to Satyr/Nymph, willingness to help SV3, SV4, and SV5'

She had originally thought the two to be demigods, or a demigod and a legacy, based on battle prowess alone, and their willingness to assist the three children, but that theory had been dispelled the second she had gotten a feel of their energy.

While she might not be as good of a sensor as her sister, she could still proudly say that distinguishing a demigod among mortals was an easy feat. That was not the case here, however. The energy felt more akin to that of a nature spirit, a little more potent than that of a Nymph or a Satyr.

But that wasn't enough to raise any alarms.

It was what that classification entailed. The father and son were definitely male, and yet lacked a goat's distinct lower body. This made them an outlier to both species she had initially thought of, and that detail made her so much more invested in their cases.

'Suspicion: Hidden Identity'
'Theory 1: Affiliation to an East Asian Pantheon'

After hearing their stories, a quick search on the Japanese census, surprisingly enough, confirmed their statements.

'Addendum 1a: Affiliation to the Shinto Pantheon'

But then again, if the Shinto were anything like the Greeks in that regard, then she could not dismiss the possibility of fraudulent information. Mist manipulation and all…

That hypothesis came into question almost immediately when she could not detect any tampering in the electronic or physical files, neither by mortal means nor through magic, and that left her with more questions than answers.

The goddess of wisdom blinked in surprise.

She could be wrong… or she could be dealing with someone more thorough than herself in information warfare.

'How preposterous!' she scoffed at the very notion.

'Theory 2: Monsters. Most likely intent - on preying on SV3, SV4, and SV5'

Possible. If they were Shinto monsters their actions might translate to an attempt to hunt in areas far from their gods' detection. They could be banking on the possibility of their natures remaining unknown to the Greeks.
Unlikely. If not for Athena's network, her Huntress of a sister would surely sniff them out.

'Theory 3: Scouts and/or vanguards'

It was the only other plausible reason. One did not just travel like a mortal when they were involved with the supernatural. There was likely divine influence at play here.

The piling uncertainty bothered the goddess of wisdom. She especially was not proud of the lack of information she had about the more elusive gods of the Nihon Isles. Bringing up the piles of books and papers she had on the subject, she was saddened to see the disparity between them and the literal mountains of different literary works she possessed on Western civilization. After all, while different pantheons might operate with unfamiliar systems, the gods of the East, in particular, were special cases.

They never had to adapt like the Greeks, Norse, or Egyptians to the modern world, by spreading their influence through demigods and subtly directing the progress of humanity in a manner that benefited both their respective domains, and the well-being of mortals.

They never had to work to spread their stories and to prevent themselves from fading. Something that could not be said for some pantheons in Latin America or Africa.

The Shinto, Taoists, and Hindus have retained a large part of their influence over the millennia. The Hindus, especially, have become ridiculously powerful due to the number of followers they had, so much so that the very notion of a war with them was tantamount to suicide, in Athena's opinion.

It was almost laughable. The only way they would have a chance at survival if beings like the Trimurti decided to step up to them, is in the unlikely case Zeus, Odin, and Ra managed to put their egos aside and form a temporary alliance between their respective pantheons.

'Something that won't happen anytime soon,' mused the goddess as her eyes roamed over the documents.

As for the Taoists and Shinto, while their number of followers had noticeably decreased, many of their old shrines were still being used and many of their practices and traditions were maintained. Unfortunately, both of those parties had an almost hostile relationship going on that goes back thousands of years. This conflict had apparently started long before the Shinto chief goddess, Amaterasu-Ōmikami, had earned her place at the top of her pantheon. The mysterious "Heavenly War" was said to be the trigger for it and it was an event many scholars, god or mortal, wished to uncover more about.

The two sides kept it under wraps and all she had to go off of, are apocryphal texts and unsettling rumors about it.

She could always consult her grandmother as she was one of the only current Greeks who had been alive at the time.

Maybe? A thought for another time…

In any case, many in the divine world had secretly feared a second such war would break out during Japan's invasion of China in World War II but not only were the Taoists absent from the battlefield but so were most of the Shinto, barring war deities like Hachiman.

'He's a likely mastermind for SV1 and SV2's infiltration'

Perhaps an operation setting the stages for another war? Her violent brother would probably be the only one happy about that one, especially with Hachiman's notorious stubbornness and bloodlust.

That idea might have merit, but…

'Hachiman hasn't been heard off since the end of the WWII, almost as if he faded away'

Her leads were turning cold as she pondered them. The lack of valuable and concrete data only made ugly feelings of frustration bubble up in the goddess's being.

She had many questions, and many worries to be addressed, but could not do anything, both because of the ancient laws, and because she simply could not risk an inter-pantheonic war.

Especially one with the Shinto.

Regardless of their lower numbers, those gods had connections to several other pantheons in the region which would more than make up the difference. That, and a suspicious relationship to a particular cryptid mentioned several times in the same texts on the Heavenly War.

A being rumored to have stood toe-to-toe with powerhouses like the mysterious Jade Emperor.

Ridiculous as the last notion sounded, she could not help the gnawing feeling that there was more to this story. If in any way, it ended up being real, then that would mean the Olympians would have to face at least a Pantheonic threat, and that wasn't a scenario she wanted to plan for.

It all hinged on the question: Just who was "The Gallant Sage of the East" she kept seeing mentions of?

'A question for another time,' thought the goddess, hearing a chime from her office clock, and decided to move over to her other duties for now.

She made a mental note to talk to her sister. Hopefully, Artemis can feel the two strangers out and give her a more accurate assessment of their threat level.

She could not act rashly, nor illogically, after all, she is Pallas Athena, the goddess of wisdom, warfare, and battle strategy.

Failure was not an option

 

[RedFistCannon]

Just a note that I had a piece of fanart commissioned! Credit goes to @satan_navi