Vengeance and blood. Who do you bleed for? Who do you kill for? What is it that the innocents...
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
User | Total |
---|---|
RainReid | 6 |
Thank you, I can't seem to figure the formatting out, it just entirely scrapes out any spacing I put in it.Okay. So, there is a lot to say here. First off. The formatting in Chapter 1 makes me want to claw my eyes out. And what happened to Chapter 2? We jumped right to Chapter 3.
Edit: There is potential here, but it jumps around and is way too crazy to follow in its current state.
The biggest problem, outside of the formatting and seeming missing chapter, is the pacing. This has the plot and framework of a good story, but it lacks the 'meat' or substance right now. The small, unimportant conversations are just as important in shaping a story as the important dialogue. Right now, it is just one step away from being a summary of a good story.
That said, with a bit of adjustment this could easily be an amazing fic so I hope you keep up the good work.