C: We were attacked by a plot bunny and it wouldn't go away. This might end up a one shot...
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C: We're aware of the lack of proper procedure. On the first count, this is a case where no-one believes Taylor's claims of not having powers (on account of her demonstrated resistance to poisoning with Belladonna). On the second count, the PRT is not a trustworthy organization in the slightest.Unless you're trying to write some kind of crack fanfiction that is so much b******* you can't be forced into the wards if you're not a parahuman and you surely can't make a decision like that without your dad or lawyer
J: You're correct that the pacing was garbage. We weren't really concerned with turning out a high quality fic on this one, we just wanted the annoying plotbunny to go away.The pacing is off (it's way too fast. Slow down and take your time. It takes far longer to write than to read something) and the people are a little bit too one-dimensional, but the idea itself is honestly unique enough that I'm going to watch anyways and see where it goes.
That's valid ^_^ I was trying to be polite.J: You're correct that the pacing was garbage. We weren't really concerned with turning out a high quality fic on this one, we just wanted the annoying plotbunny to go away.
T: We don't recommend trying it. Despite considerable research we found no specific instructions, only a brief acknowledgement that it is possible. We don't actually know if Taylor's feat of eating deadly nightshade jam sandwiches is within the limits of human biology, and we don't know what the dosing schedule would look like.So this is a really interesting idea. Could I get a link on how exactly to build up a tolerance to belladonna?
Well dang. I was hoping you'd found more than I had. Oh well.T: We don't recommend trying it. Despite considerable research we found no specific instructions, only a brief acknowledgement that it is possible. We don't actually know if Taylor's feat of eating deadly nightshade jam sandwiches is within the limits of human biology, and we don't know what the dosing schedule would look like.
C: Seriously this would be taking your life in your hands, don't do it.
Yeah someone is definitely getting fired after this
Also, it didn't work out well for the guy who invented it, Mithradates. He was a king who was terrified of being poisoned, so he built up immunity slowly, but he eventually was overthrown. He tried to kill himself with a large dose of his poisons, but he'd become immune and had to get one of his servants to stab him to death.Seriously this would be taking your life in your hands, don't do it.
C: We were treating it as a way to make an annoying plot bunny shut up, no more, no less. The plot bunny has since stopped bugging us, so mission accomplished.
On the other hand his extended (and close) family had a long history of poisoning each other (normally successfully) so doing his best to be resistant to most of the common poisons of his culture was not a stupid idea. Risky yes but not stupid, see all the successfully poisoned members of his family for examples. It's just that he went and pissed off the Romans and that just doesn't tend to end well for anybody. Look at what happened to the Barcas.Also, it didn't work out well for the guy who invented it, Mithradates. He was a king who was terrified of being poisoned, so he built up immunity slowly, but he eventually was overthrown. He tried to kill himself with a large dose of his poisons, but he'd become immune and had to get one of his servants to stab him to death.
I'm going to be frank here script style is pretty intolerable for a lot of readers including myself. It's good for prototyping in idea but please for love of everything good use actual proper paragraphs.Director Piggot: "Sit down, Renick. We need to talk."
Deputy Director Renick: "Yes, ma'am."
Piggot: "I take leave for one week, and I come back to this? What the fuck, Renick?"
Renick: "I can explain."
Piggot: "I certainly hope so. Start talking. How did Hess die?"
Renick: "She apparently ate a poisoned sandwich. There was enough belladonna in her system to kill three grown men."
Piggot: "And how did the poison get into her sandwich?"
Renick: "It ... uh, it wasn't her sandwich. She apparently beat up another student and stole her lunch."
Piggot: "And who was trying to kill the other student?"
Renick: "Uh ... nobody? The Hebert girl has apparently been experimenting with taking greater and greater doses of deadly nightshade for the past few years. She makes the jam herself. When we raided the house, we found the apparatus she uses to make it in the basement, and the plants in the back yard."
Piggot: "Do you have any evidence at all that the Hebert girl tricked or forced Hess to ingest the sandwich?"
Renick: "... no. Unless ... well, apparently Hess has been bullying her for some time, and maybe she just wanted to get rid of her bully, and used reverse psychology ...?"
Piggot: "First, unless Hebert is a time traveller, by your own admission she started this experimentation long before she ever met Hess. Second, how long have you known about this bullying?"
Renick: "It ... uh, it came out while we were investigating her phone after her death."
Piggot: "Indeed. I'm going to need to talk to her Wards liaison after this. But for right now, what in God's name prompted you to shanghai the Hebert girl into the Wards in her place?"
Renick: "She, uh, she shows superhuman capability --"
Piggot: "She's spent years training her body to resist one specific poison. Tell me, how exactly is this going to assist her in her Wards career? Take your time. I'll wait."
Renick: "It, uh, it could be the result of a parahuman power--"
Piggot: "Did you check? Do I have the results of an MRI scan on my desk?"
Renick: "It all happened so fast --"
Piggot: "And her father's signature? Do you have that too?"
Renick: "He didn't want his daughter tried for murder--"
Piggot: "Which we both know it wasn't."
Renick: "But we'd just lost a Ward!"
Piggot: "And you replaced her with one who not only doesn't want to be here, but has an unknown supply of deadly poison that she might just share with the rest of the Wards! Do you understand the situation yet? Am I making myself clear?"
Renick: "But she has an ability ..."
Piggot: "Which she's going to use how? Do we have any villains who happen to use belladonna in their crimes? A deadly nightshade spray, for instance? Or perhaps she can share her delicious belladonna jam sandwiches with Hookwolf in the middle of a fight?"
Renick: "So I should start expediting the paperwork releasing Belladonna from the Wards...?"
Piggot: "Immediately. Now get out of my sight."
<phone rings>
Piggot: "What!?"
PRT Officer at other end of phone: "Uh, Director? We have a new villain in town, calling themselves Nightshade. They've taken the Brockton Bay Central Bank hostage, and they say their deadly nightshade spray will kill any hero who comes close."
Piggot: "Are you fucking with me right now?"
Renick: "You see? She has a useful ability--"
Piggot: "AEGIS CAN STILL DO IT BETTER, YOU FUCKING MORON!"
Renick: "... oh."
I usually do.I'm going to be frank here script style is pretty intolerable for a lot of readers including myself. It's good for prototyping in idea but please for love of everything good use actual proper paragraphs.
Apparently on FF they actually have a rule against script style writing which is weird to me but I understand why .... Not that they really actively enforce the rules anyways.I usually do.
This was basically me banging out an idea before it escaped me, so I could get back to doing other stuff.
I think he was going by the assumption that she knew SS was SH, and it was a deliberate act.So I have to say that all the way up to Taylor waking up in the hospital, I was with you and immersed in the story. Then she wakes up and sees Beardmaster immediately and the first thing he says to her is, "Why did you kill Shadow Stalker, with deadly nightshade!" That broke my Suspension of Disbelief right there, completely pulled me out of the story. Then to compound it, Taylor is like, "I didn't kill Sophia!". Unless Shadow Stalker is an open cape in this universe, this entire sequence made NO sense. Everything after her waking up in the hospital made NO sense! I'm very disappointed.
I think he was going by the assumption that she knew SS was SH, and it was a deliberate act.