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Class Cards, a Hopeless Hero, and a Fabulous Future. (Fate/stay night SI)

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A Not so Quiet Life: Part 1

I found myself in a conundrum.

I'm looking at a woman, naked and...
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 1

UsurperOfTruth

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A Not so Quiet Life: Part 1

I found myself in a conundrum.

I'm looking at a woman, naked and pretty, with doll-like features and albino coloration.

The way she's staring at me also doesn't help much as it's kind of freaky if I'm being honest. Looking around it's just the two of us, in that case it kind of makes it more awkward for me. She's also smiling...okay deep breath and now reply like a normal person.

"Who the hell are you?" Yes, I nailed it.

"Oh? I am surprised. Most people would've stared more or even reacted in fright at the sudden transition from being in there home one moment and then suddenly being transported to somewhere else without even a moment to think about it." The woman replies with a small smile on her lips. She sounds amused.

"Well, I've had crazier dreams if I'm being honest. Being in a situation in which I had a dream vaguely linked to my Mom trying to kill me because I forgot to lock the door, so I woke up and put the second lock on the door because I did that at the end of the dream. I've also been almost killed by various monsters and suffered sleep paralysis before so some random albino woman floating in a white void ain't that bad." I said stuffing a hand into one of my pockets, I still had my clothes on at least. This'd be a lot more embarrasing if I didn't. She'd probably be staring at me in a much lewder way. I can't help but wonder if the me then would find that to be a good thing or a bad thing.

"Indeed," She giggles, "I suppose something like this wouldn't unnerve you much. I'm just used to humans reacting in a panic once they realized they've been whisked away from there home world for not only someone else's amusement but also the chance they may have to do something that may or may not be dangerous."

My brain stopped for a moment. Not literally because I'd be dead or something, but as I processed the woman's words I came to a realization as I finally remember who she reminded me of.

"Hey, you wouldn't happen to be Irisviel?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Bingo!" She says happily as light shifts around her, and she suddenly becomes draped in this elegant looking white and red dress that shows off her mid-riff. On her hand is some sort of white cloth crown with a gold trim. "You're not the first to get that right, but not many jump to that conclusion right away so I must commend you for that."

"Thanks I guess, though I still don't really get what type of dream this is. I know for a fact you've never been in an elaborate dress like that except for the version of you that was essentially a kind of purified Grail in the Grand Order game, and I doubt you'd be the type of person to send people on dangerous missions or quests."

"Normally you'd be right." With a wave of her arms I see the world behind her twist and distort, a city forming behind her as if it had always been there. "However, I just like you soon shall be too, am subject to someone even higher than me. A ROB if you wish for a term to accompany their status."

Fuck.

"All they make me do is grant wishes, subconscious most of the time, but those wishes tend to be granted in such a way that the wisher has to grow through some grand trial to fully recognize their wish. As a near Divine being with access to the full power of the Grail there's very little I can't do, thus I make for a perfect way to get people to where they need to be for it's amusement."

Fuck, fuck, fuckity fucking fuck.

"Nope. I refuse. I refuse to believe that out of an infinite amount of universes and an infinite amount of people and probably an infinite of me's that I'd be the one to be ROB'ed. It's bullshit. Despite you being a nice person, you're bullshit. Whoever's trying to do this to me is bullshit too."

A sad smile flits across her face, even as I try vigorously to force myself awake. While I've always imagined going to other worlds and getting superpowers to be some sort of hero, I definitely didn't want it to happen like this. Completely out of my control, no say over where I go nor what powers I end up with was not something I wanted. Not at all.

"I'm sorry, however know that you will not be leaving unprotected." As she spoke I felt a pull on my very being, seven cards floated lazily around her. "With the power granted to you, as long as your will remains steadfast you will make it through all of the strife that comes your way. I believe in you." With a kind smile on her face she floated towards me, and as the seven cards went into my rapidly stiffening body and filled me with an overwhelming amount of pain, she wrapped her arms around me.

Even though I'm in unimaginable pain, I can't help but think that the fact that it's pretty awesome that an anime character is hugging me. She whispers something that I can't make out, and then just as the pain I'm feeling becomes almost too much, she lets me go. I find myself on an unfamiliar street all of a sudden, the pain nothing but a fleeting feeling even though I'm left kneeling.

It seems like this wasn't a dream after all. Fuck. Now I'm in butt fuck nowhere, though my first guess would be Fuyuki City cause fuck my life, with apparently some sort of way to protect myself that I'll need to figure out. However, more immediate problems such as what the hell my goal is, what was the wish granted, and how the fuck am I going to get anywhere without knowing any real amount of Japanese? Standing up slowly, I look around. It's night time, and apparently I'm on Shigeo Street. ...Wait a moment, I can read Japanese. Oh shit! I can read Japanese! Awesome. Seeing as that's one potential problem solved, I went over to a window of a shop and gave myself a once over.

Hair's still messy and black, I'm still 5'10" or so, I don't look heavier so no extra weight which means I'm still lean, my stubble's still there which means I have to shave soon, I don't look much younger than 21 or so and I'm still wearing the dark blue suit I'd put on for the interview I had today along with the black loafers. My skin seems a touch lighter, closer to mocha than caramel, but I'm still distinctly African-American. Overall, nothing's out of place, that's another possible crisis averted. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't still me.

A rustling noise, drew my attention away from the window only for a piece of paper to smack me in the face. Grabbing it off my face a tad annoyed, I notice that there's some writing on it.
"Hello, [insertnamehere]. You must be the new enterta- I mean hopeful wisher looking to have a wish fufilled. Maybe you were brought here willingly, probably not, but you're here now. Wherever here is. You'll be here for a set amount of time and then you'll be forced to move on until you achieve whatever your wish was or you find out how to get home. To help with this you've been gifted with a unique power, the power to Class Install and become a psuedo-Servant along with some very basic magic in your base form. You can only activate one at a time and the servants you get are random, along with not making this too easy for you you only have access to 3 cards to start. You can unlock more of them as you gain experience with the ones you have, so good luck and try not to die~."

Folding the paper multiple times I stuff into my suit pocket. While this is incredibly obnoxious, at least with such a power I should be able to not die at the very least. Seeing as I still don't know what type of dangers await me, I won't be confident until I have at least some knowledge of what the hell I might have to face. However…

"Hehehehe...hmmhmmhmm...HAHAHAHAHA!" I can't help but laugh. The power of seven Servants was in my hand, unless I was forced to fight some ridiculous foe the chances of me losing were incredibly slim. With this, maybe I could live a quiet life until I get back home.

"Oh, so you're the cause of that massive amount of prana suddenly appearing from nowhere Mister." A voice that sounded much too nice came from a just a sort distance away from me. Turning my head towards where the voice came from, I saw the little girl standing there on the street.

The pale skin, long white hair, and crimson eyes were the first things that I noticed. These things identified her as a homunculus from the Einzbern, but the fact she was wearing the long purple coat, white scarf, and purple hat was what let me know that it that was Illya. The smile on her face wasn't what made me sweat however.

What made me sweat however was the fact that behind her stood what was arguably the strongest servant in the 5th War. The monster, because that thing was far from being human, stood behind her like a giant soldier of death. It's grey, almost blackened skin, and it's leering red eyes that stared at me with a madness that made it seem like it was only a moment from killing me. In one of its hand's was the giant slab of stone that was carved into something resembling a sword.

As a bead of sweat rolled down my forehead I knew I was more than likely fucked. However, another part of me told me to not present myself like that. If I showed weakness she'd probably kill me even faster than normal, not something I wanted. Okay, think what can I do to stall or run away?

"Say, Mister, you wouldn't happen to be a Master would you? With the amount of prana that was coming from you it wouldn't be strange if you had just summoned your servant. Though, I can't sense any Servant which means you could be waiting to try and kill me."

"No, you must have the wrong idea. I am not involved with the Holy Grail War and-"

"But, you do know about it which means it's not quite far-fetched for you to be helping someone else." She chimed in happily.

"I suppose that's a possibility." Readjusting the tie I wore I tried to keep a hold on the instinct to run while trying my hardest to keep the nervousness in my voice to a minimum, I was in control. I could bullshit my way out of this. "However, I assure you that I would not participate in such a competition. I wish to live a [quiet life]."

She stood there for a moment, a chin on her finger in thought. Had I successfully gotten her to back down? I angled my feet in such a way that it would be easy for me to run away at a moment's notice, I wasn't too sure on how to do the Class Install thing but if it worked as it should it would take me a couple seconds to get transformed. I just needed to make sure that I got that time. Looking around, I saw the street divided behind me into two paths along with a couple small alley ways. The alley ways would be my avenue of escape.

"I believe you Mister."

Yes!

"But, there's always the chance that another Master is currently watching us and could decide that someone like you could be coerced to work for them. Therefore, Berserker's going to have to kill you. Ok?" With a polite smile on her face she tells me to die.

Fuck no.

"Hmm, I suppose I'm not left with much choice then, am I?" Gripping my tie tightly, I snap my fingers and point towards the giant monster known as Berserker that stepped forward. "I have to overcome this high-level danger, no matter what!"

"Oh, you're going to fight Berserker head on? You're either really brave or idiotic Mister. In fact before you die, how about giving me your name?"

"Taiki. Akimoto Taiki." I hope that actually translates to something and that my luck was as good as it normally was, otherwise I'll look like a dumb ass.

"I'll try to remember that name after Berserker kills you."

"Secret Technique," I pointed my palm towards Berserker as I smirked. "RUN AWAY!" Turning around I promptly dashed into an alley-way that was small enough that I was certain Berserker wouldn't run through it unless he wanted to cause a large amount of property damage trying to get me. I needed to figure out how to draw the power that I had apparently. It probably wasn't as easy as me simply saying Class Install, so how was it done?

"▂▂▃▃▄▄▅▅!"

The primal scream of madness behind me was almost enough to make stop and simply die there, but the much more rational side of me that wanted to not die and get through this entire fucked up situation made me keep moving. If I stopped it was over, if Illya got bored chasing me it was over too. And I've run out of alley way to run through, shit! Okay, okay, okay, you're smarter than this. You won't die in the first, my watch says it's 12:30 AM, 10 minutes or so you appeared in a new world. I refuse. I've got to try something, anything at all at this point. I could try running towards the Emiya Household but I don't know where it is so that's a bust.

Turning around, I'm just in time to see a practically gigantic gray fist coming towards me. Putting my arms up in an instinctive guard, I have to physically stop myself from screaming out in pain as I felt the bones in my right arm shatter on impact as I'm sent flying. Crashing into a brick wall at high-speed and most likely bruising my back the very least, I taste blood in my mouth. I've always had an aversion to blood, not something like hemophobia where I was scared of blood, but more like I hated seeing my own blood.

"What a day," Picking myself up out of the crater I made in the wall, blood slid down my face as I force myself to my feet. My legs trembled, my arm hung limply, and it hurt to breath, yet I was still alive. Guess I was a really lucky guy. "I've never had a day as horrible as this."

"Wow! You're still alive Mister? I'm surprised. Even a strong magus probably would've died from a direct hit from Berserker, and yet here you are. You might not look it, but you're really strong Mister. It's too bad you have to die here. Berserker, finish him."

As Berserker trudged forward menacingly, I felt a rage bubble in me as I saw my blood. Call it an irrational thing, but I hated bleeding. It annoyed me on a level I couldn't describe.

"No chance I'm dying here without giving it a fair try," Grinning viciously I stood up. I had been forcibly transferred to a new world without any say or even a choice in the matter, it was all horribly unfair. However, I was supposed to have powers as well and even if I was surely going to die I couldn't go out without trying am I right? "Class Install! Lancer!"

A dark blue circle formed around me as a veritable sea of energy poured off of my body. I could feel my wounds healing themselves, and not only that but my clothes were changing as well. Where once I was wearing a nice suit, on my body was a very tight purple bodysuit with the same design as Lancer's. On my shoulders were pauldrons that kept the violet cape on my back in place. My hair felt longer, but I wasn't much worried about that. In my hands were two red lances. They were both Gae Bolg, but just a step older.

Normally they wouldn't be enough, God Hand couldn't be pierced by anything that wasn't A-Ranked after all, but the runes that made the two crimson spears of death glow brightly made them more than strong enough.

So, of course as the monster in front of me decided to attack me, probably recognizing how much of a threat I had just become, I decided to do the most logical thing. I wanted to kill the monster and live so stabbed it where it's heart should be and parried the swing of the gigantic stone sword with my other spear.

"I hate seeing my own blood. I hate the fact that I was put into this shitty situation and the fact that of all the people in this fucking city that could've ran into me on this night, it had to be you. You're a messed up kid Illya, but still a kid in the end, and I hate hurting kids. But, I'm not going to die like this! I refuse!" I nearly shouted as the monster in front of me seemed to recover from it's first death.

"Gae Bolg Alternative!"

I dashed forward, though it was more of a formality as the "Barbed Spear that Pierces with Death" had already taken effect sewing through space and immobilizing Berserker as another of his lives depleted, and launched him into the air with the first spear. Leaping backwards, I gathered all of the strength and prana I could spare and pushed into the second spear. With a mighty throw, it streaked through the air and in an instant it was upon Berserker like a drill. Steadily and steadily grinding away his life. My victory was practically assur-

Oh, shit...I'm feeling woozy all of a sudden. My body's burning up, and somehow the world's almost spinning around me. Shit, I have to...have to stay on my feet or...or I'll die. I lean up against the wall, why is my breath misty? Shit, is this how I die? Not because of some enemy, but because I couldn't handle all the stress from my own power? Fuck.

As my thoughts started to given way to oblivion, I saw a teary Illya running towards me. I wonder if I actually managed to take all of Berserker's lives or if she was mad that I had managed to do any damage at all and was planning on killing me herself. Wow that was morbid as fuck wasn't it? I guess feeling like you were about to die at any moment. I could think about it later, if I woke up.
 
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 2
A Not so Quiet Life Part 2

Ugh, all of my everything hurts.

I guess that's a good thing because it means that I'm still alive at the very least. Opening my eyes, I notice I'm still in the alley way which means Illya didn't kill me. Nice. Wiggling around just a little bit I quickly realize that it hurts a fuck ton more. Well, I suppose the fact that I was already hurting meant that it should've been obvious that I was going to be hurt a lot if I moved. Anyways, where's the ki-

"Oomph!" I let out a bit of a groan as the kid tackles me. "What the hell?"

"You killed Berserker." Her eyes were red and puffy, which was weird seeing as her eyes were already crimson, as she sat on top of my chest. Illya looked legitimately saddened by the death of her Servant, was this something that would've actually happened in the series? I'm not hundred percent sure, but hopefully it did and this was just one of those things that I couldn't remember off hand.

"Yeah. I didn't want to die, so I did what I had to. I'm not going to say sorry for that, Illya."

"How do you know my name?" Even when sad she's a perceptive little kid. Well, technically speaking she wasn't a little kid at all and was actually 18 or something, but she acted like a kid and was younger than me so meh.

"I'm an...associate of Kiritsugu." I manage to say after a moment, it hurts to speak a bit. "We hadn't kept in contact for a long time, so I was surprised when I found out that he had a kid with someone form the Einzbern family a couple months ago. I kind of assumed you'd be here, but I didn't think you would go for the whole "let's kill this random magus" angle."

"Why? Why didn't you come sooner? Why didn't you come get me from Grandfather? Why should I believe what you say?" She was crying again, I didn't like crying kids.

"I could say a whole bunch of things, but I'll just say I'm sorry. Whatever you went through was partly my fault, but I'm here now and seeing as I managed to kill that freaking monster back there I'm pretty sure I can protect you from anything that might decide to try and harm you. I guess, in some weird way I'm like your unofficial Uncle. Well, not by blood or anything but maybe because I'm probably one of the closest people to him alive." I unabashedly lie through my teeth. It was a good enough cover story and without some serious background checks no average person could figure out that I was lying, now I just had to see if I had some way to get some official documentation to go with my lies.

"Uncle?" Her tears seem to gradually dry up as she adopts a thinking position, her head tilted slightly and a finger to her chin.

My everything actually hurts a little less than earlier, which is weird seeing as I've had the equivalent of a little kid sitting on my chest for the past few minutes. Actually, this brings up a really good question that I should ask now that we're less likely to get attacked by something suddenly deciding that now would be a good time to ruin my night.

"So, kid, how the hell am I not still passed out? I mean that magic I used isn't exactly one that I should've used like I did and I was pretty sure that I was knocking on death's door only a short time ago. Actually that brings up another good question, how long have I been unconscious anyways?"

"Um, it's been maybe 10 minutes? I healed your wounds for the most part because I planned to...interrogateyouandstuffalongwithpossiblykillingyou, but you seemed to be healing quickly with just the bit of help that I was giving." Illya said with a slight blush on her face that seemed to fade away towards the end. "Now I have a question for you Uncle Taiki, what was that you did to fight Berserker? It was like you became a Servant."

"Well, that's a pretty accurate way to describe it. To make a long story short, I used my body as a medium for a Heroic Spirit and essentially called on their power so that I could fight against Berserker. I misjudged my limits for that Spirit and I was banged up a lot, I guess I was lucky enough that Spirit I summoned forth was essentially immortal. That probably helped me heal."

"B-but, that should be impossible. Channeling the power of a Heroic Spirit is something that shouldn't be able to be done by a normal person at all, unless..."

"Unless they channeled the Kaleidoscope? Yeah, what I use is a severely limited version of the Kaleidoscope, at least that's the bets way I can think of to describe what I do anyways." I shrug a bit even as I make a note to myself to remember all the lies that I'm telling this poor girl.

"Wow! You must be super strong then! Actually, maybe you could help me with something then. You see, now that Berserker's gone and I don't have some way to go after Big Brother I was hoping...that maybe you could help me out with that instead." She finished a bit shyly.

"By help, do you mean like...hurt him? Or do you want to have a chat with him or something? I could probably do either and get it done after I heal up completely." Well, probably not the hurt thing because I wasn't sure if I could take out both Saber and Archer if they decided to fight me at the same time, though I was pretty sure that if I had access to Assassin currently I could probably kidnap him and wow wasn't that messed up that I was seriously considering kidnapping the protagonist just to keep my lies going and try and not get further involved within the story than I inevitably will be.

"Um, I'm actually not sure right now. I wanted to get answers and just figure out what Kiritsugu saw in him that made him stay and not come and get me." She shook her head a bit and slapped her cheeks with both hands as she got off of me, finally. "So, Uncle Taiki, do you have a place to stay yet or..."

"No, I only got here today actually. I had planned to go a get room at a motel or something, why?"

"Well, I just so happen to have a really big castle that only me and my two maids live in so as long as you're here you could just stay with me!" A kind of happy smile spread across her face then.

Hmm, that would be pretty dangerous for my health if I decided to go and live with her. Depending on what Route this is Illya may or may not get her heart torn out by the Golden Bastard, because this Gilgamesh's attitude is abhorrent just because he feels like the people in the current world have ruined it and thus I refuse to acknowledge him by name, which is a bad thing. Lancer, Scathatch was the Spirits true name, was a good choice because she got powered up against people who had Divinity with her unique Personal Skill God Slayer.

Though it was a bit odd knowing that one of the heroes I could Install was a woman. Like it was cool as hell to be able to use the power of someone so strong, but the worry that I could turn into a female was very real. Not that there was anything wrong with turning into a girl or anything, just it wasn't something that I'd be cool with. Still probably wouldn't be enough to stop me from using the Class Card if it did turn me into a woman, which I'm pretty sure it didn't. I should probably check when I get a chance, I mean my hair felt longer so who's to say my manly chest hadn't became less manly and more feminine and I had just ignored it?

Anyways, I'm getting off track here. Could I beat the Golden Bastard if it came down to it? Maybe. Once I managed to all of the Servants available I'd have a better idea on if I could do it, but I was pretty sure that he would more than likely underestimate me to begin with which would give me a large advantage in the confrontation if it happened. So that was threat assessment number 1.

Was there anything else that Illya had to particularly worry about? I didn't remember anything else off the top of my head, but knowing that the Heaven Feel's route is a possibility I'm pretty sure that I should be careful either way. Anyways, I had already made my decision anyways. The fact that the castle had two battle maids and was better defended than pretty much any other place in the city was more than enough for me to come to a decision.

"I guess I'll be staying with you then Illya." Forcing myself off of the ground, I dusted myself off a bit, making sure to push any rubble off of me. Looking around I still see the damage from the fight here and there, concrete broken in certain places and most assuredly the crater I had made from earlier. "The Supervisor for this War going to make sure this damage is taken care of or otherwise removed?"

"Oh! I kind of forgot about all the damage we caused, but I guess so. It's his job after all so I'm pretty sure we don't have to worry about any of this so~," Taking a hold of my hand she starts pulling me forward and out of the alley. "Let's hurry up! It's your job to protect us so be ready just in case something happens."

Was it only me that found it weird that she was latching onto me and not killing me or something? Like her reaction's been very mild, and I'm grateful for that, but it's really freaking me out that she may possibly be thinking I'm a replacement for the big hulking monster that was Berserker when I'm really not. I could maybe match him in skill, and strength if I don't worry about possibly killing myself halfway again. Though seeing as there isn't many Servants in this war that could possibly match up to him stat-wise, and I killed him, if barely, I probably have a decent chance.

Still, once again it's freaking weird that I lied to this girl to practically save my life and she believed me and then decided to take me to her house more than likely because she thinks I'm related to Kiritsugu in a way and I said that I would try and protect her if I could manage it.

"What a bizarre day this has been, from a not exactly average day to a life or death battle out of nowhere. I just wanna live a quiet life and get through this mess."

"What was that Uncle Taiki?"

Reaching into the pocket that was on the inside of suit jacket I grabbed the box of Strawberry Pocky I had, most people would probably wonder why I keep such a snack on me and if you wished to know it's because sugar is my fuel as a writer obviously. That and people leaving comments and stuff, I'd have a hell of a story to tell whenever I got back home. Taking a stick of Pocky, I stick it in the side of my mouth and enjoy the sweet flavour. I need to stock up on a whole bunch of these, they were relatively chea- oh shit? Did I have any Yen? Or was all of my money still in US Dollars? That could be a really serious problem.

"Nothing," I remember to respond to Illya after a moment. "Just me thinking aloud, nothing that you really need to worry much about anyway."

Looking back at me she notices the pocky in my mouth. Before she can even open her mouth, I offer her a stick. Taking it with a happy look on her face, she soon begins to eat it as we walk to her place at the dead of night. If someone saw us from afar I couldn't help but wonder how it looked. Did it look like a parent and their kid walking home after buying some candy or did it look like a guy who had been almost killed walking back home with the girl who he had lied to and killed her giant monstrous protector.

That was a bizarre thought.
 
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 3
A Not so Quiet Life Part 3

Illya's place was...roomy.

It was pretty much a typical mansion, though a bit Victorian in the style I guess which gave it a creepy feel. Oh and Sella didn't like me, go figure that the homunculi that has no problem expressing her displeasure dislikes me. If this was a certain anime I'm certain that either Sella or Leysritt would've most likely killed me while I slept and I would've had to reset from zero. As it was they led me to a somewhat dusty guestroom, that was close to Illya's I noted, and said that I could rest there. That was nice of them, I mean I was much too tired to be doing anything with Illya anyways.

However, before I collapsed on the relatively clean bed I decided to do some last minute things. Like checking my wallet and seeing two things. My ID had been apparently changed to a Japanese one, which made me think about the fact that it was stupid of me to come up with a Japanese name when I could easily say I was American or possibly Indian if I could still remember the bits and pieces of research I did on their culture, and the $500 I had been carrying was now 52,000 Yen. I guess whatever ROB decided to send me here was a bit generous. Oh, I also still had my crappy flip phone so that was nice.

I then proceeded to conk out on the bed. I probably should've made sure to close the door and lock it, if it had a lock anyway, but seeing as there was literally only 3 people in the castle besides myself I wasn't all that worried I suppose. I was also very stressed out and hoping that this was all really just a dream and that I had not nearly died fighting against a hulking monster whose fist was about the size of my entire torso.

Waking up, still in my suit mind you as I was too tired to take it off, and seeing the sleeping lolita that had apparently snuck into my bed sometime while I was sleeping was certainly a solid point towards this whole thing not just being one sugar induced dream. She wasn't clinging to me or anything, the bed was big enough that you could probably fit 3 people on it comfortably so she had more than enough space, but she looked very peaceful. That was a good thing I suppose. Turning my head ever so slightly, I stared at Leysritt.

She was the big-breasted battle maid of Illya that was in this weird black and white outfit that was some weird robe thing with long sleeves and a sort of hood thing that clung to her head. She was also currently staring at me with an intense look. She should trust me more, if I had really planned on killing Illya I could've probably forced myself awake and tried to use a weaker Class Card to kill her and her guards. Seeing as I haven't done that, it should say spades about my character I think.

Of course, Illya has the benefit of being someone that is necessary to the plot and it is only because I am not currently alone that I am not breaking down in abject terror at the fact that I was taken from my home world just for the amusement of some higher being. Mental note, if I ever manage to come into contact with said ROB I need to punch it in it's crotch, conceptually is possible. I don't know how much it would hurt it, but certainly if it had something that could be considered genitals it would have to hurt to some extent.

"So...what are you doing in here?"

"Mistress Illya wasn't in her room when we came to wake her up, seeing that there were not many possibilities of where she could be I came to check your room immediately after. I do not trust you around Mistress Illya despite her faith in you and I'm here to assure that you don't do anything to Mistress Illya whilst she sleeps."

"Okay. She's the equivalent of an 18 year old, I think, stuck in a little kids body but for some reason she still acts really childish but most importantly she looks like a little kid. Like the most lewd thing that I would do to her is hold her hand, and let me assure you it's completely consensual."

"..." She just gives me a stone cold glare.

"I guess you didn't like my joke, not everything is gonna be a winner I suppose. Anyways, what's for breakfast?"

"Sella is currently in the kitchen cooking, Illya told us that you would most likely want something hearty after you killed her friend and nearly yourself and asked Sella to cook up some pancakes for you and her to eat."

Oooh, that one almost hurt. I wonder why they're so emotionally invested in, nevermind of course they'd be invested in the little girl that they had been assigned to look after. However, did Illya say that friend kill part or was that really the maid in front of me showing some genuine emotion. Either way it would be safe to assume that either Illya was lying to me and wasn't really over the whole me killing her friend, or her maids think I'm some sort of horndog and am trying to have my wicked way with their master and wish to cause me to either go the hell away or cause me great bodily harm.

No, I wasn't being unreasonably paranoid. As I have always said to myself, it is better to be very paranoid and be wrong than be...unparanoid? Not paranoid at all, and then be surprised as the things you dreamed the previous night, the dream about how you did something really stupid that you normally wouldn't at any other time, happen for example.

Anyways, I slowly make my way out of the somewhat comfortable bed being very careful to not wake the loli that was in the bed in her PJ's. She was adorable, I wish I had my camera with me. Oh yeah, another thing I hadn't come to terms with was how real everybody looked. While there was still a sort of anime-ish flare to everyone, it was balanced out by the more realistic look everyone got. Everyone was still darn pretty to look at though, even myself to some extent

"Where are the bathrooms Ms. Leysritt?" I ask politely ask as I stretch a bit and press out some of the wrinkles in my suit. I don't know how exactly the suit managed to stay pretty neat, but I suppose my luck towards normal everyday events was still pretty good. Now, if only that luck transferred over to things such as the supernatural, maybe I wouldn't have gotten into this whole mess to begin with.

"Please exit this room and follow the hallway west, at the end of the hallway is the bathroom. By the time you get back Mistress Illya should be awake."

"Uh huh, make sure the kid doesn't panic or anything once she realizes I'm not still in my bed or something. While she's certainly an adult in some ways, a rather ruthless one mind you, she's still just a kid in some others." Walking towards the door, I exited coolly.

That would've been a good time for a meme.
 
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 4
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 4

We are going to the church to attack Shirou and possibly kidnap him.

It's not as bad as it may sound at first.

After we had breakfast, Illya had decided that the best thing for us to do would be to play some games. I am pleasantly surprised to see that she had somehow acquired a Playstation 2 along with DDR, I am also disheartened by the fact that I lost against her horribly. I love playing DDR, but I hate the fact that I'm pretty much trash at it. My reflexes just aren't good enough to move my feet in time with the beat, or maybe I'm over-focusing on my feet instead of the notes? I digress.

Anyways we played some video games, Illya no longer wishes to play Tekken 4 with me because I use King and grab-spam, and then talked about her master plan. She wished to be able to talk to her brother, so her plan was for me to use my eh em "SERVANTO POWAH" to go and grab him after handling his Servant. She had used her own familiars to spy on him and had apparently managed to figure out that he had summoned his own, and towards the middle of the day managed to figure out that he would be going to the Church later tonight.

I didn't know how she had managed to find out so quickly, what I did care about was the fact that if I was supposed to doing this I would end up having to go against both King Arthur and EMIYA. Stat-wise, with Lancer alone I was sure that I could beat them simply because I was much faster to start and I was sure I could beat down on them but they had a few things in their favor.

For one, Excalibur. I wasn't hundred percent sure that Gae Bolg Alternative boosted by runes could do the job and while it wouldn't be her lead, if Saber decided that she needed to take me out and she had an open shot that wouldn't cause a fuck ton of damage she'd Excaliblast me. If it didn't kill me off immediately I was pretty sure I'd survive, I mean Scathatch had taken a much stronger attack from the Grand Caster and lived, but I'd probably collapse again. While Shirou, and possibly Rin, won't kill me immediately, their Servants are a much different story.

Second problem, EMIYA. His fighting style was a high-risk high-reward type thing, against opponents that were stronger than him in any way it was essentially a way to balance things out. By leaving holes in his defense he's able to accurately predict where a person will strike and play defensively until he figures out a way to win, and seeing how he's a bit more pragmatic I wouldn't doubt him just nuking me with those Broken Phantasms of his if he realized that he could do some serious damage and "accidentally" take out Shirou. This wasn't even getting into the fact that he may or may not decide that his trump card, Unlimited Blade Works, is available for use against me.

Then there was the human element. Shirou was somewhat of a suicidal idiot, and Rin was clever enough to manage to take a life off fucking Berserker of all monsters, and I certainly didn't have 1-ups like he did. As Scathatch I had decent regeneration, yes, but I wasn't sure to what point and I really didn't want to have to test it out.

Now, it's completely possible that I just don't do this at all and tell Illya that this is a stupid idea and that both myself and her are in great danger, but like an idiot I promised her that I'd do what I could to get her this much needed talk with her brother. That meant I couldn't back out of it, if I promised something I'd damn well see it to the end. However, that didn't mean I wasn't annoyed by the fact that she didn't want to just catch him in the park in the day and force a talk there where I wouldn't have to brute force a meeting so much. The things I do to keep my lies going.

Anyways, we're a few minutes off from the church and I had come up with a sort of plan that might just work in my favor depending on how things go. I had ran a test while in the castle and managed to figure out that one of the other Servant classes I had available was Assassin, and the person who it was. They had decent stats, but more importantly they were definitely the fastest Servant I'd get by far. They were also very lethal if I wasn't careful in how I used their abilities, however that was pretty much true for any Heroic Spirit I could manage to Install.

More important was the fact that their pragmatic nature and style of fighting was a good counter towards both EMIYA and King Arthur. It would also be a horribly dick move if either EMIYA, Shirou, or Illya figured out who exactly the "Heroic Spirit" I was installing was. This made the troll side of me say go for it because you have to make the most out of this shit-show, thankfully that part of that told me to be empathetic said it wouldn't be the greatest of ideas.

So, for this mission I had two known Servants I could use and one unknown Servant left...currently. If that note I got yesterday or so was anything to go by, I'd unlock more later, most likely when I needed them the most. However, the question remained. Who was I going to pick to use to try and do this entire thing and was I going to do it Illya's way?

Well, we're at the spot where she wants us to be now so I presume I have to make my decision now.

"Okay, Uncle Taichi, do your magic and get ready. Shirou's been in there for a minute so he should be getting out real soon, we have to play this up like we're actually threatening. If you had access to someone really big and scary this would be a lot easier, but with that form you used previously this should be easy." Illya's voice was confident, good.

"Meh, I am going to try someone else. I almost burnt myself out trying to channel that Lancer so today I'll be using an Assassin." I said as I chewed on a piece of pocky, it kept me calm and helped me focus on he fact that I was doing something stupidly reckless. Why couldn't I just live a quiet life where people didn't drag me into their issues? Oh right, I built up a persona based around lies and my honor prevented me from simply going back on my word or making a little girl cry. Once I get out of this world I'm gonna punch that ROB in the face.

"But...they have an Archer and a Saber? An Assassin couldn't possibly be strong enough to take on the both of them while also managing to grab Big Brother!"

"While normally you'd be right this hero is pretty much invincible when it comes to small unit battles like this, as long as I have enough prana to use his abilities my chances of losing are practically nil. Now, I suppose I should get this transformation outta the way."

Arching my back slightly as I balanced on the points of my my feet, I brought up a hand to my face and completed my pose.

"Class Install: Assassin!"

The change wasn't nearly as flashy this time, but certainly brought with it noticeable changes just as the transformation to Lancer had. My skin darkened a bit, giving me a nice tanned look and my black hair changed into a silver-like white color and my suit was replaced with a sort of black body armor. Covering my face was black bandages and a red cloth hood scarf thing that was attached to the top of the outfit. Around my waist was a holster that carried a large amount of knives, and I could feel that there were only more weapons waiting for me to use them.

Clenching my hand, I felt different. Maybe it was because I hadn't had the time to figure out, nor really properly admire the difference but the body that I currently had was stronger in many ways. More importantly though, I could sense a weird presence lingering about me. An aura of...I couldn't place my finger on it, but I could only presume that it had something to do with the fact that this Assassin was loved by a certain "holy grail". Whatever it didn't matter much to me, so long as I didn't have to do prolonged combat I could manage a win if things came down to it. Even if that win was by using the Time Alter spell and making a run for it. I wonder if I have non-lethal rounds?

"Hmm, are you sure about this Uncle?" Illya looked a bit worried, for my sake or for the case that I would end up killing myself and ruin her carefully laid plans that she may or may not have? "Whatever spirit you're channeling now definitely can't be stronger than the one you used before, you still feel like a Servant but definitely weaker."

"Hey Illya, don't worry so much. I definitely won't lose, in a fight such as this in which I have promised to accomplish a goal I will do so no matter what. Anyways, we should be having company in about 3...2..1..."

On cue the sounds of footsteps resounded in the area, as the trio of Saber, Rin Tohsaka, and Shirou Emiya became visible. Wait a moment, where's Archer at? A whooshing sound at my back was all I needed to active the Time Manipulation ability that made this Assassin so useful.

"Time alter – double accel."

Things around me seemed to become a sort of weird gray-shift, colors only appearing on individual people and very much less so individual things in the background. It reminded me a bit of the coding thing that I'd learned a couple years back, pixel arrays and all that good stuff. Anyways, Time has stopped. Not really of course, but my speed and reaction time was high enough that it might as well have and this wasn't even the Noble Phantasm so much as me making use of the ability as Magecraft. Looking around, things still seemed to be moving, just extremely slowly. I'm a bit curious on how using Chronos Rose would go if a simple Double Accel did this.

Either way, I moved out of the way of the first three arrows and then used a knife to knock the last one out of the way. The arrow itself seemed irrevocably damage, warped more like it because of Phantasm Punishment. It gave all of my normal attacks the same power as if I had used an Origin Bullet, which was fucking lethal as fuck now that I thought about it. Wow, how the hell was I going to make sure that I didn't permanently damage any of these people? Something to keep in my mind as I find some way to either kidnap Shirou or get him to come peacefully without having to fight my way out of this mess.

Posing once more, my arms folded across my chest as I brought Illya over to a tree and propped myself up against it.

"And so time resumes."

The crashing of the arrows against the concrete startled the wits out of them, and Saber was quick to get into battle mode as I could see her grasping the hilt of her currently invisible blade. It'd be easy to take her out permanently, just one bullet an- wait a moment, I already said I'm not trying to kill these people horribly so where the hell did that come from. Was...was it the work of an enemy Servant? I really didn't want to think about it, I clapped a bit getting the startled group's attention.

"Results. This world only cares about the results! So, while it was a nice try tell your Archer that he'll have to try a bit harder than that."

Badass boast? Check. Making things happen in a way that doesn't fuck my own plans up? Working on it.
 
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 5
A Not so Quiet Life: Part 5

I had forgotten something very important.

Prana Burst.

This allowed Saber, who was by all rights still slower than me, be quite the nuisance in my side because I wasn't fighting lethally. It is also during this time that I start to think about all of the different ways that I could have went about this without having to get in a situation where I didn't have to fight in a way that would cause minimal damages to my opponents. I could have threatened the school or something and then got Shirou to come peacefully while bluffing that there were bombs were in the school, or I could've just picked a day that I was sure Shirou would not have reliable back-up. Picking this EMIYA probably wasn't the best idea, but I could make this work.

Saber had rushed me after she had somehow figured that I was the enemy, it didn't help that Archer was still taking the occasional potshots at me and that Rin had correctly guessed that I was Assassin. Yeah the situation was kind of fucked up, but I still had the overall speed advantage.

"Hah!" Saber's enthusiastic shouts that followed as she cleaved through a tree that she had tried to back me up against. It probably would've worked had I not been channeling someone who was a bit more tactful than her. Activating another Time Alter I moved out of the way as an arrow blasted right past Saber's face and whooshed where my head would've been.

What can I do that won't put Saber or Archer in a position where they will either be heavily damaged or decide that they should use their Noble Phantasms and I have to get lethal to protect myself? Bending backwards to dodge a horizontal sword swing, I lifted one of my legs and brought it down on where the length of the sword was pulling myself upwards in a way I was sure should be impossible and threw a few daggers towards her to get Saber off my back for a moment.

I saw her wince a bit as though her armor seemed to block a majority, but I had managed to nick her upper arm. A wound that wouldn't be immediately fatal, but would hopefully make dodging the Prana Burst boosted hits that she did a bit easier. I wasn't sure how much I could spam Kiritsugu's magecraft, so I had to figure out a way to at least get enough time to move this into my own end game. As she backed up slightly, I observed the fact that despite her small injury her stance changed to favour her right arm. That might be a bit of problem, but as far as the situation goes I didn't have much else to do. I could maybe heal it, but hopefully it wouldn't be necessary as I could probably do away with Rider if I really tried.

"So, Saber. Are you still mad about the whole "I wanna kidnap your Master" thing? I said that it wasn't really like that."

Her simple response was to grasp the hilt of her stupid invisible sword that had almost hit me multiple times now. Well, I suppose it was time for a different approach to this entire situation. If this worked as intended than I would be able to take out Saber in a way that wouldn't kill her but more than likely knock her out, or at least damage her enough that she wouldn't get back up immediately. Putting my right arm on my hip, I slouched a bit and completed my pose with hanging my other hand limply and looking towards Saber in a way that I hoped got across the intent that I wanted.

"I am tired of this, I shall give you a chance. Move backwards two steps and I will give you the chance to run away now. But if you rather risk your life, then continue forward Saber."

"I will not run scared from this battle Assassin, threats will not be enough to deter me!" With another activation of Prana Burst, she broke the ground underneath her feet as she rushed at me at a speed I was sure I wouldn't be able to dodge easily. However, this had all been apart of my plan to begin with!

"Chronos Rose."

As I uttered those words I could feel the world slow around me to the point where things were no longer moving, no that wasn't right. I had just sped myself up to a ridiculous point, while the Time Control of Kiritsugu was definitely powerful but this? This was like a whole new world. It wouldn't be good to dawdle, I wasn't sure how long I could use this and I could already feel my prana draining from merely using this Noble Phantasm. Dashing forth towards Saber I began my ferocious assault of punches, Kiritsugu would be disappointed probably.

"Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!Useless!"

Ah, the classic cry of someone who was portraying themselves as a Villain...of sorts. Anyways finishing the barrage of punches I delivered one final punch with as much strength as I could to her jaw. The plan was of course to knock her out and so long as she still functioned as a normal human being somewhat it meant I could still exploit the fact that this should scramble her brain and knock her out. Or however the hell it worked, I was never a hundred percent on the mechanics of it. Anyways, I had to let time resume at normal speed now.

"And so time resumes."

The effects were immediate as all of the attacks that had connected with Saber took place in a single instant for her, along with all the feedback from my body rapidly decelerating too. While she was sent flying and smashed into a tree, my everything felt like I had just went through a heavy work-out. I guess that was a fair exchange for knocking out the one Servant here that could definitely one-shot me, if she had actually managed to hit me and I wasn't a cheating cheater who used time control.

"Saber!"

Huh, I guess that Shirou would be upset that I had essentially heavily damaged his Servant so fast that one could possibly even have stopped me unless they had a way to stop an attack that was essentially instantaneous for whoever was on the receiving end of it. I didn't know anybody who could do that in this war except for maybe Fake Assassin and Lancer. Either way, I couldn't let show that I was feeling like I had just ran a couple miles in my normal body.

"Now, let me see if I can reason with you people for a moment. You see, before you so rudely decided to attack me just because you believe me to be an enemy Servant who wishes to kidnap Redhead or Twintails over there, I was going to explain myself I bit further so that maybe I didn't have to punch out your Servant." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, when you open up by saying "Nice night for a kidnapping" after being asked what you're here for it's pretty obvious what the response is going to be." Archer snarked back at me as he walked out from the treeline.

Well besides the fact I very much enjoy snarkiness and would give him a solid 4 out of 5, him walking out of the treeline worries me a lot. Archer is pragmatic, I don't know to what extent but still, and he's also very tactical. Two things he got from Kiritsugu that actually worried me a bit because it meant that he was probably planning someway on how to kill me or get him and Rin out of here and possibly Illya too. You could never be too sure with the guy. Alright, I can't let my nervousness show...just do what you always do.

"Well, I suppose you've got me there. I mean being a kidnapper just isn't a good look you know? Being a gentleman thief is really where it's at nowadays. I should probably get a nice suit to match that Arsene Lupin look, ya know? Anyways, Redhead?" I said, pointing a finger towards Shirou.

I could see him a sweat a bit and gulp before he replied.

"Yes?"

"My little munchkin over there," Pointing at a tree-branch where I had successfully put Illya at without any of the people, and Servants I think, realizing. She waved a bit with a happy smile on her face. "wants to talk with you. Preferably at her place. I can also probably heal up your Servant if that'll make you more liable to be reasonable and decide to not listen to Twintails over there who is most probably going to say that you should more than likely not listen to me because I'm lying or something. If it'll help this process along you can have mister Redcoat watch me if we do it here or if at Illya's place you can have both of your Servants watch, while it won't do much I'm sure you'd feel much more secure." I finished crossing my arms over my chest.

I wasn't actually sure I could beat both of them at the single time to be honest. Hit and run attacks were sort of Assassin's specialty, but I didn't really want to kill them as I wished to hold onto my stations of canon as tightly as I could. If it meant having even the slightest of advantages against an enemy, I'd be willing to do that. Ugh, my body was starting feel really sore. I had to get them to either accept now or snatch Illya and Shirou and then make a run for it. Oh, and I should probably grab Saber too if I run. Oh crap, Shirou was saying something and Rin looked suitably upset with him.

"-ay. If it means that you won't attack Rin and will heal Saber, I'll go with you then."

"Are you a complete idiot?" Rin yelled, as expected. "He could easily just be lying to you in a chance to either take you out or take your Servant? Why the hell would you think that this is a good idea to do when this Master essentially has gone out of her way to show how futile it'd be to attack her head on just so she could talk to you?"

"I know it's sketchy, Rin, but if it means that this guy doesn't decide to hurt you or Saber anymore I'd be willing to put myself on the line."

"Y-you idiot!"

"If you two are done with your little chit-chat where you talk directly about how sketchy this entire thing is, I'd like to get going. It's pretty darn late after all don'tcha know?" I said trying not to sound as if I could feel the strain on my body becoming progressively worse. You are the master of your body, you are not going to fall to physical pain like this. Not yet. Just gotta actually make our way to Illya's castle and while we're not exactly home safe, it's better than nothing. She has two battle maids and an entire forest that's probably covered with a bounded field.

"Alright, Rin just leave it to me. If something bad happens, I trust you to come and get me." Turning his head away from Rin, Shirou spoke towards me. "How long do you need me for?"

"A day, probably two at most. Any personal business like school or something Illya will probably let you intend to, if not I can probably figure something out for you."

"Okay, then let's go." Shirou seemed pretty resolute about this, guess I could give him credit for not running away but really it was because his mind state was all sorts of fucked so yeah no credit from me unfortunately. While his mind state wasn't exactly alien, to be able to get a Reality Marble meant your mind was definitely not normal at the very least. Anyways, I should probably go grab the goods.

Jumping up and grabbing Illya I easily placed her back down onto the ground, where she seemed to give me some sort of strange look. I was becoming more and more paranoid about why exactly she had so easily latched onto the cover story I had made, was she playing me? Picking up Saber one-handed, wow she was still holding onto her sword while unconscious that took some fucking dedication, I decided to be more cautious around Illya. Just because she acted like a little kid didn't mean she couldn't be very astute at times.

"Come on, Big Brother, we have a lot to talk about." Illya said, dragging Shirou away with a happy look on her face.

Now if only she'd stop being adorable so I could reconcile my thoughts with my actions.​
 
A Not so Quiet Life: End
A Not so Quiet Life: End

Shirou was quite confused.

When he had decided to willingly follow after Illya and her "Servant" he had expected a lot of things. Getting in over his head and having to fight his way out of a bad situation was the one he thought was the most likely to happen, especially seeing as Saber was still out of it. His gut told him that this was a good idea though, and if it was the one where no one had to die...well even if it was stupid he would go along with it. Rin would probably reprimand him after this was all said and done.

However, when he had finally gotten to the castle after a 20 minute or so walk, he was surprised when the Servant had turned and looked at him before changing right before his eyes. One moment there was an imposing assassin covered in black, and then there was an American in nice suit in his place. The man still stood taller than Shirou, but was a bit lankier he noted, as he slouched a bit the man let out a loud sigh before readjusting his tie.

"Man that sucked, I'm tired. Fighting two Servants is definitely not something I want to do again." Stretching a bit, Shirou was a bit weirded out once the man's eyes lit up as he turned towards him. He was weirded out even more when the man struck a pose before him, one hand grasping his tie and the other in his pocket as he arched his body a bit and stood on the balls of his feet.

"I suppose I should introduce myself to you since we're now here Shirou, my name is Akimoto Taiki. It is a pleasure to meet you." His faced showed a genuine smile as he reached a hand out towards Shirou, but he couldn't help but feel that this man was really dangerous. It was one part the fight earlier, and another part the fact that there was something about him that he couldn't quite put his finger on. That smile of his just seemed...sinister? No, more scheming than anything. Whatever it was, Shirou told himself he would have to be cautious about trusting this guy.

"Yeah, pleasure to meet you too. My name is Shirou Emiya." He bowed slightly, trying to at least polite despite his misgivings with this man.

"Hmm..." Akimoto hummed briefly before his gaze focused in on Shirou.

As Akimoto stared at him, he could feel a chill go up his spine. What, what was he doing? Before Shirou could respond however, he spoke.

"Do you believe in 「Gravity」?" He brought a hand to his chin and placed a hand on his hip. "That there might have been a reason the events that have occurred these last few days, happened to or around you of all people?"

"What?"

"I wished to simply leave you with something to think about before you go chat with someone else who will entwine themselves in the fate that surrounds you. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm rather tired so I'll be retiring to my room. Come get me after you're done speaking with Illya and I shall see what I can do for Saber." Pivoting on his foot he spun around and started walking away. "Taiki withdraws cooly."

Shirou was only left more confounded by the weirdness that Akimoto exhuded. The guy was dangerous, he could fight Servants while Shirou himself could barely follow their movements with his eyes. However, he also seemed kind of...nice. In a bizzare way. Hopefully, they didn't have to fight again. Shirou had an uneasy feeling that the guy was holding back, or at least hadn't used everything in his arsenal. But…

"Big Brother! Come on! We have lots to talk about~."

A much more prominent shiver went up his spine as Illya, who seemed to always call him Big Brother, grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Why did he get an ominous feeling that this was going to be much more than he bargained for?
-----​

He had watched that Servant fight and, though he had to ponder upon it for a bit, Kirei could only chuckle to himself as he finally placed where exactly he'd seen that fighting style before. If that hadn't been enough to identify who the Servant was, the unique magecraft that it had used during the fight was the clencher for him.

However, there was something off about the entire situation. Assassin had already been summoned along with all of the other Servant classes. So how exactly had someone like him been summoned, when their was no possible way? It was a curious thing to think about and Kirei wished to figure it out, perhaps there was another explanation for it? While he certainly didn't know of anyone in this time who could accurately mimic the Magus Killer's fighting style, it was a possibility.

Or, a more interesting prospect would be that the user of the second True Magic was partly responsible for this in some way. While it was very unlikely, the man was known to be rather eccentric and with his power it would be simple for him to find a world in which the Magus Killer had become worthy of being a Servant. Well, whatever it was, Kirei was interested to see how exactly it would effect this war. It would make it much more interesting for him at the very least, more opportunities to feel something were something he treasured.

After all, despair was his favorite thing.
 
Despair Is Killer: Part 1
Despair is Killer: Part 1

I had found out who my last card currently accessible was.

It was the afternoon after the fight in which I had apparently stressed my body to the point where it had taken me a very long time to wake up because I was just so damn tired. I suppose that was better than being in close to utter agony and close to dying like the last time I had transformed. I put this in my book as a win to be sure. Anyways, I had successfully healed Saber, though she had almost decided to take a swing at me again. Luckily enough good guy Shirou was there to calm her down, I wasn't sure I could fight her as I was now. I felt a bit like a beat up doll currently.

"Excuse me, Sir, that'll be 500 yen."

"Oh, my apologies for ignoring you. I was in the middle of thinking about some things mam, sorry, just give me one moment." Fishing the 500 yen-coin I had filched from some random person on the street, I handed it over to the nice cashier in exchange for the soda and two croquette pans. The later were some sort of sandwich with a mixture of ingredients like chopped meat and mash potatoes rolled into this patty shape with two pieces of bread being the sandwich part. Or at least that was what vaguely remembered that they were, I could be wrong. I'd visited Japan once, but never did get to taste a lot of things so I figured why not now?

"Have a good day, Sir." The female cashier said somewhat cheerily, as I walked away with a small plastic bag containing my purchases. She had nice hands a part of my brain noted.

"Thank you, you too." I remembered to reply as I walked out the door, a little jingle sound signaling my leave of the store.

The sun shone bright above in the sky, the wind was blowing, and I watched as people walked by just enjoying this seemingly average day. It was a nice change of pace, I thought as I walked with no real direction as I wanted to familiarize myself with a portion of the city. I could feel that negativity that I kept on a tight leash gnawing at me, I mean in only a few days I had went from average guy who was decent with computers to guy who could punch out Servants. I mean, that's a pretty large jump when you think about it and it's the kind of thing I really didn't want to think about. This whole situation was crazy, I wish I had a few days to sort of just scream and cry in frustration. To cry at the unfairness of it all, but I had to roll with the punches so to speak.

Looking up, I found myself staring up at the stairs of what could only be the Fuyuki Temple. Had I walked here unconsciously after spotting it? Or was there something greater at work here? Shaking my head, I deigned to not think about it for now at the very least. Grabbing my tie in hand, I gripped it as I steadied my thoughts and proceeded to walk away. That was Caster's base of operations, while I was of little doubt that I could more than likely beat her if I tried hard enough, I was certain that it was much easier said than done. She was a super magician, but I have time powers so...I guess it equaled out in my favor for the most part. Though, her boosting Kuzuki to Servant levels of strength was ridiculous. If I fought him fairly, I wasn't a hundred percent sure that I could actually win.

No, stop, you're doing it again. You didn't want to think about fighting, but you're doing it brain. Just because we have powers doesn't mean we have to fight everything that's in our way.

But, then...doesn't it all boil down to what exactly is my goal in this mess? I want to help, mainly because I definitely fucked up the entire plot to some extent, but what exactly is keeping me from just fucking off and not helping anyone? Or… maybe even trying to kill all the other Servants? I have the power to theoretically take on practically any Servant and win if I do it quick enough, and unless things go horribly wrong no one outside of my league except for possibly Gilgamesh should target me at all until things were too late. Ugh, if I keep thinking about this I'm only going to stress myself out more than I really need to. Calm down Taiki, deep breath in and exhale out.

Gripping my tie tightly, I decide to walk towards the park that I vaguely remembering going by awhile ago. I should probably eat my food, that'll keep my calm. Hopefully.

It only takes about ten minutes to find the park, my memory was pretty good but I had to double back when I had taken a wrong turn because I had misread a sign. Looking around, I quickly found a bench that was underneath the shade of a large tree. Pulling out one of the sandwiches, I quickly unwrapped it a bit into it viciously. I hadn't eaten much in the past few days, sleep and just the general mess my life was now had taken up a majority of my time so I focused on simply eating and enjoying some new food. It helped me keep a clear mind.

I sat there… simply eating my food and listening to the chirping of the birds, and for some reason this menacing feeling wouldn't leave me. Those thoughts from earlier, they chirped in the back of my head making me want to think about it more. Think about why I felt responsibility to anyone in the first place.

Illya was going to die in a few years anyways, there was very little to stop it and my knowledge of the series wasn't nearly enough for me to figure out who I needed to contact to do it. Maybe if they found the doll body that they had used for Shirou in that one route they could transfer her somehow to that, but that banked on too many things to line up perfectly. I wasn't feeling particularly optimistic enough to think that those things would happen.

So… I needed an alternative. Just in case this menacing feeling turned out to be something more than simple paranoia. I would at least try to stick to the script that I was laying for myself to some extent, pleasing Illya after all earned me at least a place to stay and food to eat, and she was certainly a pleasant person to be around because of her childishness demeanor. But, I wouldn't think of it for now, I needed to think of what was going to be alternative?

There weren't many options here that allowed me to get home as I would wish to do so, and the only ones with a decent gurantee were certain to blow up in my face some way. Zelretch, while not as bad as fanon portrays him as, is definitely a person that does enjoy his fun. What his fun is truly, I have no idea besides the fact that he came up with a magical girl stick and could/would send his students off to alternate dimensions to help teach them his magic. What else he did, I had no clue, and I didn't like not being sure on whether or not he could get me home. The chances of me contacting him were slim to begin with, but at least I felt that it was better that alternative 2.

The Holy Grail. Well, more like the Unholy Grail currently due to the fact that it has All the World's Evil in it waiting to be born, but that's semantics. It could maybe, just maybe, be able to grant my wish and get me home with the wish one was able to make if they won it but the damage would be… no don't think about that right now. You can allow yourself to feel guilt if it comes down to executing this plan, otherwise keep to script Taiki.

First order of business, how to deal with the remaining Servants. I needed to kill Saber, Archer, Lancer, Caster, Assassin, and Rider most definitely. I knew the grail was indeed corrupt, but it was also my best possible way of getting out of this place and perhaps with the right abilities I could fix it so that I got the wish that I wanted out of the thing instead of the one that would cause the most possible damage to the harmless civilians. In case of the plan not working, or something going horribly wrong, I would not wish to have needless deaths by my hand. Either way, nothing was set in stone until I figured out how I was going to do this.

My body itself, isn't much. I am certainly fit, and I believe if I'm in tip-top shape I could possibly hold my own in a physical fight with a magus. While I was somewhat proficient in actual martial arts, it wasn't more than enough to know the basic strikes and blocking seeing as it had been so long since I had actually done anything that could be considered real practice, so a physical fight would not be optimal most of the time. If they used magic, I was more than likely screwed unless I managed to find the few seconds I needed necessary to transform to any of Servant forms.

Speaking of those, they were essentially my trump card, they were strong enough that the only Masters that could possibly put up any sort of immediate threat against me were Kuzuki, Rin, and possibly Shirou and Sakura. I did not wish to have to fight any of them seeing as they were generally key to how things ended up in this world, or at least within Fuyuki. It would be remiss of me to simply plan to kill them as one of my first options when I only really needed their Servants out of the way. I doubted I could bring myself to kill Rin, Shirou, or Sakura anyways.

My paranoia was certainly getting to me, I was thinking of possible ways to get rid of these people… but were they really people? I was never one to think that somehow I was more real than any other person, be it fictional or not, simply because I had never cared to really think about such things. They were not real, not real in the sense that in my world they had simply been characters in a visual novel. It would be easy to rationalize why I was doing this, but I could tell it was really just the nerves and bad vibes I was getting. Besides, nothing would have to happen as long as the feeling I was getting was just that, a feeling. I had never been a very lucky person, but I had my moments. I think me even surviving this long is proof of that to some extent, but the problem is, it's just a matter of time until my luck runs out and I either die or am forced into an unfavorable position in some way. I'd prefer for neither to happen, but I felt as if it was really only a matter of time, that bad feeling being what would more than likely do me in.

I drilled my index finger against my skull to calm myself down; to prevent myself from getting worked up in such a public place. I didn't need any possible eyes on me thinking that I'm going crazy in some way. I wasn't, but certainly I was getting some sort of bad feeling for some reason or another? It was impossible for me to simply be thinking that something was out to get me for no reason.

I think I should go back to the castle now.

Sitting here with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, was a bit maddening. I needed things to distract myself with, things that wouldn't lead me into a spiraling pit of paranoia.

Getting up from the bench I threw away the wrappers I had along with soda bottle, all of it having been scarfed down, or drunken in the case of the soda, as I had went into my spiral. I hadn't even really tasted any of it, the taste and texture and feeling of gratification one felt when enjoying food and drink being lost to me this time. What a shame, I probably should've really enjoyed that food if I were to be completely honest.

It was shortly later as I arrived back to the castle later that I was unfortunately greeted very roughly by a loli and her Servant that was distinctly not dead.

"Welcome back, Uncle Taiki."
 

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