Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[Vindictus]

I thought shika was flinching because the discription of Lupin's "type" matches his mom. (who has it going on)

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And then, suddenly, the reason his best [female] friend liked coming over to his house all the time made perfect sense.

I approve of this message, in all it's hideous glory.

Shika's mom~
Has got it going on~

... Temptation to have Kankuro start singing this every time he meets Shika rising.

 

[FurikoMaru]

-Suna Academy sounds like a Victorian type boarding school, exaggerated for effect; they were the last places where seniors maintained school hierarchy with the tacit approval of the school faculty.
You'll still find this general idea in a fair number of boarding schools in some former British colonies.
In Suna's defence, they do seem to have taken the meritocracy thing pretty seriously if people thought the genius kid of the Kazekage was as much fair game as any other mook.

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Like you said, Victorian boarding school. The son of a Duke has to fag just the same as the son of a shipping magnate.

-Kankuro seems to have had a pretty miserable childhood.
What happened to Karura his mother?
Maternal mortality? In a village with chakra healers?

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Same as in canon, she died because of the circs surrounding Gaara's sealing.

Any idea which village produces the most nukenin in numbers? What of quality?

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Well, as you know, Kiri has no nuke-nin.

Of the villages that admit to having produced missing-nin, Kumo has the fewest. Iwa has the most, but when you adjust for population sizes they're actually tied with Suna and Ame (though Ame has that whole there-was-a-coup-a-generation-ago thing going on, which has inflated its number of missing nin).

Konoha does produce the most S-class nukenin, I believe.

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By far. It drives Kiri's counterintelligence people nuts.

-He brute-forced Shintenshin? And didn't die?

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Almost certainly would have if he didn't have Jigen in his head to help him sort himself out.

-"Everything in Suna is old."
Way to underline their poverty with just a few words.
And to explain the harshness of the place; poverty tends to ensure that cruelties get overlooked under the guise of necessity.
Very well done Furiko.

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Basically to me, Suna = Egypt without the Nile. That's the reference point I keep in mind.

-Temari is totally gonna be Godaime Kazekage; Jikuro won't want the job, and Gaante won't care.
Given that she's one of the few people with influence on their behavior....
Kinda surprised that they're so open with each other though from the beginning.

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They may look Japanese-white-ish, but they're desert people. Family is like water.

Still, our cover's blown.
Assuming we ever had one; I'm beginning to think we have been much more obvious than we assumed.

- Shika makes it incredibly clear just how obvious we've been to those who know us.

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Well, Shika's a pretty smart cookie. That, and Shikaku can totally tell; that was part of why he agreed to give you shogi lessons. He wanted to scope you out, see if you were a good person.

I wonder if there's a special note in Konoha's classification files for "Reincarnation"; given Jiraiya's interest, it might be common enough to warrant it's own classification code.

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OOC Knowledge here: It is. It's not common enough for everyone to know what that code means, but jounin who're considered for sensei'ing duties on a suspected reincarnation get the heads-up. People don't usually like to talk about it in front of the kid in question because normally, reincarnation works in one of two ways:

1. The kid remembers absolutely nothing about who they might have been before. These ones are harder to spot (and plenty of people say that every ninja genius is one of these), but they usually have a great aptitude for some skill they have no prior experience with and tend to be more independent-minded than other children.

2. The kid is basically the same person again, just in a new body, and they remember everything. Such people tend to have been deeply spiritual warriors in their past lives; the psychic weight of their experience and personality automatically overwrites whatever person the child would have been.

Telling the first kind of kid they used to be someone else is pointless because they aren't that person anymore and it's not going to unlock special Throne-training or ghetto-Shintenshin, and the second kind of kid has a 40% chance of going missing-nin, so they require careful handling all around.

Note Asuma's comments about chakra getting weirder every generation.

-Wait.
How did I not see this before?
We got a jounin who trained in a TEMPLE.
Well played, Furiko, well played; your Konoha impresses me the more I learn about it.

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Hey, I believe it's the job of a good fanfic writer to be an apologist for the original author whenever it wouldn't be funny to just take potshots at canon.

-Just how scary is the Yamanaka rep outside Konoha?
Really?
How bad must it be that Lupin is trying to shield Ino from full knowledge yet?

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Dude, think about what they do. Think about what Inoichi's fucking department is officially named, like they're proud of that shit.

-Kankuro had it bad.
It's gotten better as he got older, but it's never really been joyful.

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Less is more with childhood trauma, I find. The big stuff doesn't make as much of an impact if the big stuff happened to everyone.

More and more, it becomes apparent just how privileged Inopin was to be born where she was.

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And Kankuro still thinks she's stuck in a hellhole.

Jigen has some... issues, with his past as a gun for hire. Especially where women are concerned.

Just to assuage my curiosity:
How long were you planning the whole handwriting reveal thing?
From the beginning?
Or did it just come to you mid-update?

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Well, initially Kankuro wasn't going to be Jigen at all. But I was thinking about what the consequences could be of leaving the note, and I thought, "Well, what if he knows Lupin's handwriting somehow?" And then I had quickly aborted plans to make him Pycal or someone, but after I had to write out Lupin's death and everything when you guys asked what happened I got crazy bummed-out and decided, "Hell with it, deploy the Empyrean Silver Crystal!" >: <

 

[Guile]

Just how scary is the Yamanaka rep outside Konoha?

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Allow me to try to explain. You have a clan that freely and easily shackles the will of others. You're on patrol, say, and suddenly you're frozen in place. Can't move a muscle. Then your body starts moving again.

But it isn't you at the wheel.

You then get to experience the special pleasure of being a prisoner in your own mind. Maybe they'll take the knowledge right out of your head. Maybe your body will be searching out classified information that could get you murdered if you're caught doing it. Or maybe they'll use your authority to send good men - men you know, who trust you to give good orders - to their deaths. Or maybe they'll have you kill your friends and allies yourself, with your own two hands.

Maybe at the end, they'll have you strangle yourself to death, too. Or maybe they'll leave you free, to take the fall for the actions of your body.

A guy like Inoichi can do this to over a dozen men simultaneously.

That's what the Yamanaka clan is like.

2. The kid is basically the same person again, just in a new body, and they remember everything. Such people tend to have been deeply spiritual warriors in their past lives; the psychic weight of their experience and personality automatically overwrites whatever person the child would have been.

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Inoichi and Asuma must be deeply, deeply confused by us. Our uncle was Rurouni Kenshin or someone, the average reincarnation is Miyamoto Musashi or Sun Tzu. Then Ino is... Ino.

 

[uju32]

Like you said, Victorian boarding school. The son of a Duke has to fag just the same as the son of a shipping magnate.

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Heh;I forget that as a Canadian you would have come across the word fag for things other than cigarettes and homosexuals.

Well, as you know, Kiri has no nuke-nin.
Of the villages that admit to having produced missing-nin, Lightning has the fewest. Iwa has the most, but when you adjust for population sizes they're actually tied with Suna and Ame (though Ame has that whole there-was-a-coup-a-generation-ago thing going on, which has inflated its number of missing nin).

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Lightning?
Are they that well managed or just that repressive?

Konoha will be solidly middle of the pack.
I'm assuming noone in Suna or Iwa bothers to compare their losses to those of their neighbors and wonder why?
Of course, given the Kankuro's thoughts about Iwa, the situation there might well be a matter of "The beatings shall continue till morale improves".

By far. It drives Kiri's counterintelligence people nuts.

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A small consolation to Konoha.

Basically to me, Suna = Egypt without the Nile. That's the reference point I keep in mind.
They may look Japanese-white-ish, but they're desert people. Family is like water.

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The picture this brings to mind is of Suna squads stealing requisitioning anything they can from enemy sources whenever they're out on mission, and being issued with excess sealing scrolls to store that shit.
Pillage then Burn might well be an academy motto.
O

Well, Shika's a pretty smart cookie. That, and Shikaku can totally tell; that was part of why he agreed to give you shogi lessons. He wanted to scope you out, see if you were a good person.

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Smooth.

OOC Knowledge here: It is.
*snip*
1. The kid remembers absolutely nothing about who they might have been before.
*snip*
2. The kid is basically the same person again, just in a new body, and they remember everything.

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Huh.
So we're a Type 3; we hear voices but are not insane.
Everyone must be so confused.

I'm pretty sure you've alluded to a Type 1 in Konoha before.
Just in passing though, and not our generation.

Telling the first kind of kid they used to be someone else is pointless because they aren't that person anymore and it's not going to unlock special Throne-training or ghetto-Shintenshin, and the second kind of kid has a 40% chance of going missing-nin, so they require careful handling all around.

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Heh.
That explains at least one reason why we haven't been pushed; even with Father's status and Sarutobi being a little mellower, I suspect we'd have been pushed harder
If Danzo raided both the Aburame and Yamanaka clans for agents in canon, only particular danger would have kept him from meddling.

And Kankuro still thinks she's stuck in a hellhole.
Jigen has some... issues, with his past as a gun for hire. Especially where women are concerned.

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Kankuro's situation will have left him with a rather jaundiced view of ninja villages.
And then there's the indoctrination.

I admit I was tickled pink when I saw the term Voyeurs Hidden In The Leaf

Allow me to try to explain. *snip*

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When you put it that way, the wonder is that there still is a Yamanaka clan, and that they were not wiped out.
I suspect Yamanaka take disproportionate losses on the battlefield, both legitimate and "killed while trying to escape".
It would explain the alliance with the Akimichi/Nara pre-village; a matter of necessity.

 

[Guile]

When you put it that way, the wonder is that there still is a Yamanaka clan, and that they were not wiped out.
I suspect Yamanaka take disproportionate losses on the battlefield, both legitimate and "killed while trying to escape".
It would explain the alliance with the Akimichi/Nara pre-village; a matter of necessity.

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It wouldn't surprise me. They probably get the rap for a lot of legit desertions and sabotage and so on. 'So-and-so wouldn't have done THAT, it must have been those darned Yamanaka!' Except with more swearing.

Because for a good Yamanaka agent, no one ever knows - and will never know - if he was involved.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Heh;I forget that as a Canadian you would have come across the word fag for things other than cigarettes and homosexuals.

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Only because I went through a major Roald Dahl phase and read his autobioography cover to cover when I was about nine.

Lightning?
Are they that well managed or just that repressive?

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Hopefully you'll get to visit sometime.

I'm assuming noone in Suna or Iwa bothers to compare their losses to those of their neighbors and wonder why?

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No one shares these kinds of stats. Everyone's working off guesswork. It's one of the reasons Konoha's habit of producing powerful problem children is so alarming; it's a trend so noticeable you'd have to be a genin to miss it.

Of course, given the Kankuro's thoughts about Iwa, the situation there might well be a matter of "The beatings shall continue till morale improves".

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Iwa is the last major village that one can make wild accusations about in fanfiction without contradicting canon. Aside from Kiri, I guess, but there's no point in making stuff up about canon-Kiri; it's enough of a shithole that amping it up would be ridiculous.

Huh.
So we're a Type 3; we hear voices but are not insane.
Everyone must be so confused.

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You have no idea.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Actually, two shout-ins I wanna try and claim. I didn't at first because they're practically tropes in and of themselves but....technically they count.

Prince fuckin' Charming.

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Does this technically count as Cinderella?

But she isn't all Pollyanna.

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And the book Pollyanna for which this trope is named.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Don't push your luck, Hymn. XD

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Prince Charming is pushing it, I fully admit, Pollyanna despite TV Tropes is still fairly obscure.

I never even heard of it or its movie until I looked it up.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Prince Charming is pushing it, I fully admit, Pollyanna despite TV Tropes is still fairly obscure.

I never even heard of it or its movie until I looked it up.

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I'm a quiet bookish girl. Pollyanna is well-known in certain circles.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I'm a quiet bookish girl. Pollyanna is well-known in certain circles.

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So is Alice in Wonderland, but if you called someone a Mad Hatter, or sarcastically called someone Sherlock or Rip Van Winkle, or went a degree of separation further with Watson or Scrooge....

Well, your call I suppose.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Do we have a consensus on what Kankuro's response is going to be?

 

[uju32]

Only because I went through a major Roald Dahl phase and read his autobioography cover to cover when I was about nine.

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Ah.

Hopefully you'll get to visit sometime.

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Looking forward to it.

No one shares these kinds of stats. Everyone's working off guesswork. It's one of the reasons Konoha's habit of producing powerful problem children is so alarming; it's a trend so noticeable you'd have to be a genin to miss it.

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Doesn't require shared info.

Every village will have some idea of their rivals' numbers if they're even halfway competent.
Couple that with published Bingo Books(and if Menka can find Bingo Books as a kitten, every Major village will have a collection of those of their rivals), correlate the incidence of new nukenin each year and plot against known population.
Statistics is one hell of a tool.

I'll just put it down to inexperience on the part of the Villages; they are only sixty years old or so, and put combat personnel in charge of bureaucracy.

You have no idea.

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*chortle*

 

[uju32]

Do we have a consensus on what Kankuro's response is going to be?

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My instincts are to deny the need, and the background you've given us for Kankuro do not suggest he ever asks for help.
Nor is he likely to want to push or possibly endanger what might be his first friendship outside his family.
And he doesn't trust Konoha either.

On the other hand, this is inside Ino's head; he knows she's a sensor, and it's reasonable to suspect that she'll be able to read him like a book now.
And he does love his sibling; he was making contact, not arranging a defection or something similar.

Kankuro does the tough guy thing in canon; I'm not sure about Jigen.
Does this help any?Because I ramble.

 

[Guile]

Do we have a consensus on what Kankuro's response is going to be?

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The way I see it:

Kankuro does potentially want to defect. He's male enough to not want to dump that on Ino, but he's also smart enough to know that she totally wasn't kidding about that international incident. If Jigen-n'-Kankuro leave Lupino alone, they're gonna do something crazy and stupid and brilliant. It's just what Lupino does if you give her an opening.

So his answer is a tentative 'yes, but.' There are issues to deal with first. Studying the Perverts Hidden in the Leaves to see if they'd make a second home or if he needs to steal Ino away (using a cover of studying his opponent for the exam), seeing what Temari and Gaara want to do (see, family: like water). Temari is a 'good girl', remember. Even if Gaara wants to build a summer home in Konoha and Kankuro wants to go find some non-ninja thing to do, she probably wants to give her all for Suna.

For Lupino, things always seem to be really simple. She does what seems like a good idea at the time and never looks back. Kankuro seems the kind of kid to introduce needless complexity.

 

[The Nobody]

[X] Let's just steal his money and dye his robes pink.

In other words, Guile has a point, and I'd vote for his plan, be it finalized.

 

[uju32]

I wouldn't.
It's one thing to be willing to leave, but I don't see Konoha giving asylum to the son of the Kage of their ALLY; you might as well tear up the alliance agreement.
I don't see Kankuro expecting it either; he's smarter than that, and he has Jigen in his ear.

And remember, if he was willing to go nukenin, he would have left Suna by now; he's two years older than Itachi was when he left Konoha.

 

[Selias]

And remember, if he was willing to go nukenin, he would have left Suna by now; he's two years older than Itachi was when he left Konoha.

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I think that was more about having nowhere to go, and not wanting to leave his siblings.

 

[uju32]

I think that was more about having nowhere to go, and not wanting to leave his siblings.

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He still has nowhere to go.
It'll take a civil war and/or broken alliances to make Konoha take the risk of pissing off Suna by taking him in.
As a rule, an Alliance is worth more than a couple shinobi.

 

[Guile]

Now, given a year or two when we're all S-ranked shinobi? Then we might talk.

It might be easier to just score a long-range infiltrator type mission and wander off.

 

[Silversun17]

he could just pull for an assignment to the Embassy. having the Son of a Kage working at it would win some good will points with the Leaf.


also this just came to me: You know how Jiraya thinks we are Minato's reincarnation, what would a quest with Sakura as Minato's reincarnation be like?

 

[nightblade]

he could just pull for an assignment to the Embassy. having the Son of a Kage working at it would win some good will points with the Leaf.


also this just came to me: You know how Jiraya thinks we are Minato's reincarnation, what would a quest with Sakura as Minato's reincarnation be like?

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Creepy as hell considering that Naruto hits on her constantly.

 

[Vindictus]

Creepy as hell considering that Naruto hits on her constantly.

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Best 'Luke, I AM your father!' moment ever, though.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Best 'Luke, I AM your father!' moment ever, though.

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....Yeah, that would make it totally worth it.

Throw in some hints of shipping between Sakura and Obito and/or Kakashi and it's a truly sublime mindfuck.

 

[Silversun17]

....Yeah, that would make it totally worth it.

Throw in some hints of shipping between Sakura and Obito and/or Kakashi and it's a truly sublime mindfuck.

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Minato had to have picked up some of his dear wife's mischievousness...

 

[FurikoMaru]

....Yeah, that would make it totally worth it.

Throw in some hints of shipping between Sakura and Obito and/or Kakashi and it's a truly sublime mindfuck.

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You know, I think this might be the only circumstance under which I'd ship KakaSaku wholeheartedly.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

You know, I think this might be the only circumstance under which I'd ship KakaSaku wholeheartedly.

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I have to say, explored well enough that could be one of the most interesting and hilarious team dynamics, ever.

Kakashi, former student of Minato!Sakura and with the two permanently confused as to who is actually in charge here and who's supposed to be handling the lesson plans. And, of course, when missions go tits up and a missing-nin way above the team's paygrade decides they want to play, which one of them is supposed to make the last stand and cover the team's retreat and/or kick the son of a bitch who thinks picking on their genin is a smart idea.

Naruto, who is Minato!Sakura's son, starved for attention, and imprinting on Sakura in exactly the wrong manner that leaves Sakura wanting to spend time with him and look after him, but leaving her completely and utterly poleaxed by Naruto's choice of affection. Her son wants to get into his reincarnated father's panties, enough said.

And Sasuke, who may well be Minato!Sakura's favorite of the team because gods above at least she doesn't have any conflicting feelings with him! He's the normal safe haven on the team for her. Even if he's a prickly ass focused on self-improvement to the exclusion of all else, she knows how to deal with that. Sure, there's tension between the two on account of Sasuke being the first-ever Shinobi of the Year to Sakura's Rookie of the Year, but that's still small potatoes to issues she has with the rest of the team!

 

[Silversun17]

I have to say, explored well enough that could be one of the most interesting and hilarious team dynamics, ever.

Kakashi, former student of Minato!Sakura and with the two permanently confused as to who is actually in charge here and who's supposed to be handling the lesson plans. And, of course, when missions go tits up and a missing-nin way above the team's paygrade decides they want to play, which one of them is supposed to make the last stand and cover the team's retreat and/or kick the son of a bitch who thinks picking on their genin is a smart idea.

Naruto, who is Minato!Sakura's son, starved for attention, and imprinting on Sakura in exactly the wrong manner that leaves Sakura wanted to spend time with him and look after him, but leaving her completely and utterly poleaxed by Naruto's choice of affection. Her son wants to get into his reincarnated father's panties, enough said.

And Sasuke, who may well be Minato!Sakura's favorite of the team because gods above at least she doesn't have any conflicting feelings with him! He's the normal safe haven on the team for her. Even if he's a prickly ass focused on self-improvement to the exclusion of all else, she knows how to deal with that. Sure, there's tension between the two on account of Sasuke being the first-ever Shinobi of the Year to Sakura's Rookie of the Year, but that's still small potatoes to issues she has with the rest of the team!

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ya, Minato!Sakura is going to be working her ass off to get Naruto and Hinata hooked up because otherwise...

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

ya, Minato!Sakura is going to be working her ass off to get Naruto and Hinata hooked up because otherwise...

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It being reduced to shipping would be one of the least satisfying ways I can imagine it progressing.

Much more entertaining for Sakura to mentally be going, "I want my son to be making his own choices, not me deciding his life because I feel guilty about consigning him to being a jinchuuriki as it is, but damn it this is seriously awkward! Well....tough it out, try to encourage him in other directions without crossing the line with regards to manipulation, practice the poker face with Kakashi until I can beat his. He can't keep this up for the rest of his life! Even if I turn him down it's not like he'll pine forever....."

 

[Guile]

It being reduced to shipping would be one of the least satisfying ways I can imagine it progressing.

Much more entertaining for Sakura to mentally be going, "I want my son to be making his own choices, not me deciding his life because I feel guilty about consigning him to being a jinchuuriki as it is, but damn it this is seriously awkward! Well....tough it out, try to encourage him in other directions without crossing the line with regards to manipulation, practice the poker face with Kakashi until I can beat his. He can't keep this up for the rest of his life! Even if I turn him down it's not like he'll pine forever....."

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Minato!Sakura, of course, doesn't know Naruto very well if he thinks that. Neither threats nor the prospect of death nor common sense keeps Naruto from doing what he wants to do!

It would lead to a few entertaining events where Sakura feels the need to rub out those memories with alcohol. Other ninja suspect Kakashi of corrupting his genin, or of something unsavory going on; that's not it at all, Sakura just needs a drink in the worst way, and Kakashi is a convenient way to get past the doorman.